


Full Moon Bloom

by LazyNinja, otish



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Slower than it takes b#rn to release, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-10 16:16:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 190,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20530901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazyNinja/pseuds/LazyNinja, https://archiveofourown.org/users/otish/pseuds/otish
Summary: Jung kingdom: the ideal location to end the war between humans and werewolves





	1. Foreward

**Author's Note:**

> ****
> 
> **TW: PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, Brief Violence (blood mentioned), and Stigma on Mental Health. Feel free to DM on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/0TlSH) for a comprehensive breakdown.**  


Cover art by Ninjacat ([Twitter](https://twitter.com/ninjacats18) | [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/ninjacats18))

It’s been a long day.

A long, loooong day.

Thunder shook the isolated fortress as a lone visitor stepped inside its solitude, shaking off the rain to fix their appearance. It wasn’t every day - it wasn’t every year even - when they met with the powerful beings behind these doors.

But circumstances were dire and like every novel in existence, they deserved a happy ending.

Hopefully, not an ending yet.

A happy middle perhaps?

The last few months have taken a toll on their mental health and physical well-being, the remainders of their bruises a fading shade of burgundy. They weren’t the only ones suffering. Their friends and family endured losses and sacrifices to get to where they were.

They smiled knowing some of them were sleeping soundly in their carriage - except one protesting passenger who wanted to meet the council - and carried on. Before they could fully face who they knew could finally put at end to these years of curses, blessings, and in-betweens, they were met with five pairs of eyes, unaffected by the bubbling cauldron before them.

“Why are you here?” The middle one asked, eyes narrowed and feline, not expecting them of all people to show up.

But with the events prior, it had to be someone from that kingdom.

The Jung kingdom.

The five didn’t mean for the Jung kingdom to sustain the inevitable clash between the human and supernatural but all oracles pointed to it. They already housed a witch - well a descendent of witches - and a werewolf - well descendents of werewolves. The five witnessed from the comfort of their fortress, the drama and betrayals that ensued within the castle walls. The Jung kingdom was the perfect location to finally end the prejudice and discrimination that had been going for nearly a century.

No matter the cost.

The traveler stepped further into the light, ignoring the violent rumblings around them - the ones that were familiar and soothing from how many times she heard them - and opened their mouth to tell their tale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
Come chat with us!  
Q: [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/0TlSH)  
N: [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/_LazyNinja_)** | [ CC](https://curiouscat.me/_LazyNinja_)  



	2. D-1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Make sure to read the TW's in the foreward before starting this story. Some of the subjects are thematic and scattered throughout while others appear later.**

Haseul finished tying up her long brown hair and twirled around the spacious silent kitchen gathering items as she hummed herself awake. As the occupants of the castle arose from slumber, Haseul was one of the first up to greet the day.

Like every day, she would excuse it as having much to do.

Usually, she would grow bored by the afternoon as there was a lot of help around the castle. It was unheard of for the royal family to assist in the upkeep of the castle grounds but Queen Jinsol and Queen Jungeun were unlike other monarchs.

One being, they were in love.

(But we’ll get to that later. Let’s focus on Haseul.)

Two being, they pulled their own weight around. Their laundry hampers emptied before she could even peek, their dishes spotless before she could ask, their linens folded before she was up the stairs.

Some days, Haseul didn’t even feel like she was working. But today was a special day for it was the princess’ birthday.

And she had a feast to prepare.

And she wanted to get a headstart before the other unofficiated assistant would...

“Ahem,” a meek voice cleared its throat from the archway to the kitchen.

Haseul stopped mid-spin to try to look as inconspicuous but the flour mixing bowl in her hands and the many chopping boards laid out proved her guilty. She awoke earlier than usual - much to her younger sister, Yeojin’s annoyance - so that Vivi would have less to do.

“You started without me,” Vivi said, taking a seat at the bar stool to continue Haseul’s work.

Haseul sighed lightly.

Vivi only shook her head before tying up her own brown locks. She was the castle physician yet somehow got pulled into sous chef, laundry aide, and gardener. It was a tiring tune the two danced to. One of them taking on tasks so the other had less to do, resorting to both of them finishing the tasks quickly and a back-and-forth match of asking what else there was to accomplish.

(Haseul blamed the Jungs for doing more chores than a royal should.)

(Vivi blamed Haseul being too shy to want to do something else together that weren’t assigned chores.)

“What song was that?”

“Oh, um, it was nothing -"

“No, it’s something.”

As daughters of the court musicians, Haseul and Yeojin were naturally gifted with musical capabilities. Yeojin exercised it in a strange form of combining poetic readings to a drum beat that her father greatly enjoyed. While that left Haseul as the singer of their generation like their mother.

(Though they could easily have been representatives of different generations given their age difference.)

Vivi smiled softly as Haseul picked up where she left off without needing to ask. There would be a day when Haseul would follow in her parents’ footsteps and travel with them to grace other kingdoms with her talents.

But she wouldn’t let that thought spoil today.

Luckily for both of them - or not since they’d be holed in a scorching kitchen for the rest of the day - they had enough to occupy their time.

\---

As an early riser, the queen could have finished her morning rituals around twenty minutes ago but the arms of her loved one were too enticing to vacate.

Blowing her hair out of her beloved’s face, Jungeun enjoyed the quiet moments of the morning when the castle was still and the air was silent.

Even the gentle snores of Jinsol couldn’t take her peace away.

It felt like it was yesterday when her parents so loudly - it runs in the family - announced that she was to be betrothed to a royal heir from another kingdom. It was inevitable. It was tradition. She hated the inevitable. She hated tradition. What if her future spouse despised her? What if they possessed strange fetishes? What if they never acknowledged her presence? Or worse. What if they desired her presence?

The journey to Jinsol’s heart was far from smooth - part of it being her stubborn heart and her strong-willed mindset - but at the end, Jinsol accepted her.

(And to this day, boasted that she loved Jungeun longer.)

The two were a force. Other royals envious of their bond and understanding. Jinsol’s selfless decision making was set straight with Jungeun’s level-headedness, giving their citizens peace of mind.

And when they weren’t peacemakers, they were wives.

And they were mothers.

Taking after her determination and Jinsol’s mischievousness, Jung Chaewon was a product of their growing love - Jinsol would butt in that she loved Jungeun longer - and their devotion. Chaewon would be turning ten years old today. Jungeun knew that before she knew it, Chaewon would find herself in her own shoes and married off to another heir.

Jungeun hoped she would be as lucky as she was.

(She also hoped the tradition would be abolished by the time Chaewon was of age but she had years before she would bring that petition to the table. Jinsol was still fresh from being rejected by her when they first met.)

With current diplomatic affairs at a lull, both queens were home more so they could raise Chaewon equally. With Jungeun’s fears, she was more than happy at that arrangement. And if Jung Jinsol the Royal was one person for Jung Jungeun - Jiwoo had already made fun of her enough for her new name - to fall for, Jung Jinsol the Mother was another.

That’s not to say they didn’t have help from the others dwelling in the castle. Haseul and Vivi, who were always looking for something to busy themselves with, were the greatest help of all.

Before Jungeun could think of another blessing, Jinsol let out a grunt in her sleep.

“You’re thinking too loud,” Jinsol grumbled in her sleepy voice.

“That doesn’t make any sense, my love.”

“It makes sense to me. I’m sleeping.”

“You’re awfully loud for someone sleeping,” Jungeun couldn’t stop the smile forming.

Neither could Jinsol.

Jinsol relented to her wakeup call and flipped the giggling queen on her back to kiss her good morning.

\---

“Are we there yet?” A rambunctious nine-year-old huffed from her seat inside the carriage.

The drivers laughed from their seat outside at the kids’ never ending annoyance - since they picked up her family and her from their abode, she hadn’t stopped voicing her boredom.

“Still not yet but we are much closer now,” the kind voice of Hyorin assures before looking to her husband with a smile. The drivers had two of their own waiting for them in the castle, but this child’s energy was unmatched. 

Her parents, however, were used to it.

Securing her wife’s hand from from wagging another finger at their little girl - once their kid bit the finger to stop her mom’s nagging - Jiwoo offered a sweet look towards Hyejoo instead.

Sooyoung huffed but was soothed by a warm giggle in her ear.

(Keep in mind, as lovable their daughter was, she has threatened to kill her mother - guess which one - more than once.)

But if there was one thing that kept her love intact for her little girl, it was that Hyejoo was a godsend. A miracle baby, the kingdom had called her. It was known that only royals and those of higher stature could produce a child among same gender couples. Yet somehow Sooyoung and Jiwoo, two of normal bloodline, made it happen for them. Hyejoo helped her mother at the fruit stands from dawn to dusk, carrying boxes of grapes and strawberries taller than her. She also memorized all of the positions, stances, and schedules for the Royal Guard in case her other mother missed a rotation.

Some would describe Hyejoo as naturally sweet. Others would say she wouldn’t be that way if it wasn’t for her mother.

(Guess which one.)

See, Sooyoung was the former guard of one former Kim Jungeun. Her move to the Jung castle was short lived followed by a hasty transfer. But a certain someone made her decision to move back worthwhile.

The certain someone was now her wife and mother of the child sighing too loudly for comfort.

Ha Hyejoo never ventured farther than the Kim kingdom border - Sooyoung wouldn’t allow it - until now. 

But like every kid’s attention span, Hyejoo discarded her boredom for the ornate patterns on the carriage ceiling. Her mouth parted which would’ve been filled with another complaint about the long journey to the Jung’s daughter’s tenth birthday celebration. Sooyoung tried to hide her reaction to her daughter’s amazement but Jiwoo picked up on it quickly.

“Stop that. You know she’s just starstruck. She’ll be bored again too soon,” Jiwoo cooed.

Sooyoung and Jiwoo came from humble beginnings and it was through pure luck - and the goodness of Jungeun and Jinsol’s hearts - that they were still invited to royal gatherings. This would be the first one they attended in years as work kept them from travelling abroad.

Thanks to years of service and her daughter’s help if things piled up too quickly, Sooyoung tenured her current knight position. She hoped one day she would be able to afford this grandeur for her wife and daughter.

So these trips weren’t just an annual occurrence.

Not missing the twinkling in Jiwoo’s eyes mirroring a certain little girl’s eyes across from them, Sooyoung would work harder until the day those expressions were permanent.

\---  
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRINCESS CHAEWON!”

Yerim all but screamed the castle walls down as she greeted the royal daughter.

“THANK YOU! AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU WHEN IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY LATER!”

Chaewon returned the greeting in enthusiasm and volume.

The rest of the table’s occupants tried not to cover their ears not to offend the royal daughter. Jungeun and Jinsol could only smile at their side of the table.

That was another thing that differentiated the Jungs from other royals.

Rather than each of them taking an end of the table, Jungeun and Jinsol sat wherever they pleased. As long as they were seated by each other. When the other was running late, they saved the empty seat next to them.

Haseul and Vivi found it sweet.

Yerim found it adorable.

Chaewon found it vomit inducing.

Taking her seat between Yerim and Yeojin, Chaewon accepted all the birthday greetings with her arms outstretched as if she was being blessed from the heavens with compliments.

(Jungeun pointed a look at Jinsol to where she learned the gesture from. Jinsol pretended that the coffee was the best cup she’s ever had.)

“Pipe down, we are in the presence of the royal family,” Hyunjin scolded. “And while Mom and Dad are on duty, I’m in charge.”

Hyunjin smiled her apologies to Jinsol and Jungeun but they waved her off.

As daughters of the kingdoms top royal guards - who were given the important task to pick up Jungeun’s and Jinsol’s close friends from the Kim kingdom today - Hyunjin and Yerim were like their own daughters. It would be unjust to let Chaewon rip her vocal cords open and not let Yerim do the same. But they worried more about Hyunjin. Being only a couple years older than the young ones at the table, Hyunjin believed her slight age difference meant shouldering all that responsibility.

(Haseul was the same when her younger sister was born.)

Yerim’s cheerful demeanor could only be dampened for so long before her eyes locked on a small box at the table.

(Haseul and Vivi stared at it in fear.)

“A PRESENT!”

Even Hyunjin had to smile at Yerim’s glee. It wasn’t even her birthday.

“It’s f….for y...you Princess Chaewon,” Yeojin stuttered.

Yeojin offered a toothless smile, sliding the box closer so Chaewon’s eyes could fixate on it. The youngest in the castlehold had long gotten over the social hierarchy between Chaewon and her. Haseul was impressed as it took years for her to talk comfortably to Jinsol and Jungeun. (And her and Jinsol grew up together.) For Yeojin, the fear was replaced by puppy love. It’s why she was submitting her name to become a knight so she could impress the princess with her strength.

It would still be years before she was eligible for consideration.

Jungeun and Jinsol found it sweet.

Vivi found it adorable.

Haseul found it vomit inducing.

“Can I open it Mom?” Chaewon stared up at her mothers who hid their fear well in their eyes.

(Like Haseul and Vivi, they eyed the box warily.)

“Of course!” Jinsol squeaked.

Yeojin had a strange definition of what constituted proper gift giving. Her heart was in the right place; her mind was elsewhere. Jinsol couldn’t blame Jungeun wiggling her way between her spine and the back of her chair to use her as a human shield.

Yerim and Chaewon giggled in delight at the princess’ first gift.

Haseul scooted closer and closer to Vivi, unsure if she was trying to protect herself or the physician.

Hyunjin braced herself with the nearest cutlery.

Jinsol tried not to be affected by Jungeun’s arms holding her tight and her hot breath on the back of her neck.

Chaewon ripped the box apart and the dining hall was louder than ever - Jungeun being the loudest - as Yeojin’s gift hopped out of its box.

\---

Hyunjin, like her knighted parents, was gifted with fast reflexes and quick thinking.

Catching Yeojin and Chaewon’s frog in its temporary dwelling and using a plate as a lid, she made her way through the kitchen to set it free, ignoring Yeojin’s pleas to keep it as it “took a long time to court it to get it inside the castle.”

It would’ve been a straight shot out the door if it wasn’t for Heejin standing up abruptly after checking the baked goods in the oven for the party.

But Hyunjin barely flinched as she kept the lid secured, keeping the amphibian away from the oblivious girl. Seeing as it looked like she was hiding a gift from Heejin - minus the mangled wrapping - she corrected herself.

“This isn’t for you.”

Gone was the poised Hyunjin that had scolded Yerim just moments ago. This Hyunjin was deadpanned and flushed.

(She would later blame the heat from the oven.)

“I know. I heard it all,” Heejin returned the shy smile.

She offered the tray of pastries to Hyunjin. As the last cook to awaken, she was ensuring the safety of the kitchen before joining the group for breakfast. But after seeing the chaos - Jinsol protecting her wife with two spoons, Yerim cheering when the frog landed in the chandelier, Chaewon aiming her bow and arrow at her new gift, and Haseul crying in Vivi’s lap - she made her way back to the kitchen to continue her work.

(Well, Vivi and Haseul’s work.)

Daughter of a stable boy and cook, Heejin should’ve been adept at animal care and culinary arts. She possessed neither. After her parents’ untimely death, she was too young to officially take after their jobs. But crying at pigeons on the ground and taking hours to finish a one pot meal, Heejin knew she needed to gain more skills before she could acquire a real job.

So she shadowed Haseul and Vivi, not sure what their real jobs were as they did everything together.

(Even then it wasn’t much work. Jungeun and Jinsol whipped up a nice meal several times a month.)

Heejin knew the queens were too kindhearted to let her go but she was still eager to learn. To earn her place in the kingdom.

With her mother’s apron on as she worked, she was improving in a few skills.

For example, bread baking.

“AHHHHH!” Hyunjin opened her mouth, not wanting to take the chance in lowering the box.

Heejin wouldn’t admit that her newfound skills might be due to the stoic knight-in-training signing for bread. Popping a pastry in Hyunjin's mouth, Heejin scuttled to the door to open it for her best friend.

\---

“I have a surprise for you,” Jinsol sang as she disappeared behind one of the many entrances to the kitchen.

Chaewon offered her other mom a confused look but Jungeun didn’t know either.

But they could ensure it wouldn’t be as green or alive as Yeojin’s present.

Heejin and Hyunjin rolled a cart out, a black covering concealing something underneath. From the looks of it, it was rough with many edges, poking out at different areas. It almost looked like a diorama of some sort. Jungeun wouldn’t put it past her. Jinsol and her miniature model building was a hobby she would never surrender.

Yerim, Chaewon, and Yeojin climbed on top of each other to figure out what’s on the cart first. Jinsol offered her hand out to her confused daughter in the dogpile.

“My fair lady,” she husked.

Chaewon giggled.

So did Jungeun.

Escorting her daughter to the cart, she whipped the covering off - not without whacking Haseul in the face to whom Vivi comforted after - showing an array of spiky exotic fruits.

“PINEAPPLES!”

“Pineapples?” Jungeun questioned, making her way to her family.

When they first met, Jinsol attempted to charm her way in with expensive gifts. But after the eighth pair of earrings, Jungeun put a stop to it. (She didn’t mind the random pairs of earrings Jinsol still gave her “just because.”) Now Jinsol picked her gifts methodically based off of the recipient’s interests. Even if they mentioned in a conversation just once.

But this one stumped Jungeun.

“Well,” Jinsol kneeled to look her daughter in the eyes, not missing the look of adoration Jungeun threw her way. “You always said you wanted to visit the island kingdoms so I thought I’d give you a taste of what it’s like down there.”

Only Jinsol.

“Oh, and you can taste pineapples,” Chaewon reasoned, high-fiving her mother.

Only Chaewon.

Haseul and Vivi got up to slice the rare commodity and pass it around the table at Chaewon’s request - ignoring Yeojin putting the crown of the fruit atop her head and using her best nagging voice in a Jungeun impersonation - and willfully ignoring the deep conversation happening by the fruit cart.

“I’ve always wanted to visit the island kingdoms,” Jungeun whispered.

Jinsol’s eyes softened at Jungeun’s comment, knowing Jungeun didn’t want to spoil their daughter’s special day. Jungeun’s fear of the outside world was something Chaewon was used to - as she developed it far before she was born. They were both young when the phobia developed and having its up-and-downs through the years - Jinsol being there through every relapse and recovery - they wouldn’t let it get in the way of their daughter’s special day.

(They were both secretly counting down the days when Jungeun’s fear was no more.)

Taking her wife’s trembling hands in hers, Jinsol turned her away from the commotion at the dining table.

“It’s not that much different than here.”

Jungeun knew what Jinsol was doing but she didn’t know much about anything outside their neck of the woods to correct her. She could see Jinsol forming a convincing argument in her head.

(They both also knew Jinsol felt like she contributed to Jungeun’s fear.)

“How so?”

(And Jungeun would devote the rest of her life making sure Jinsol knew it wasn’t her fault.)

“Well, we both have castles and music and fruits even though theirs can be weapons,” Jinsol pretended to get pricked by one of fruits’ spines. “And dancing. Well actually theirs is different.”

“How so?” Jungeun repeated, playing along with Jinsol’s logic.

“It’s called hula dance. And it looks like this.”

Jinsol let go of Jungeun’s hands and circled her hips around, pursing her lips to mimic the sounds the four stringed instruments from the tropical isles. Jungeun tried to keep a straight face, her fears stowed away in the corner of her brain. But Jinsol was just too much sometimes. Everyone around the table looked over at what was causing Jungeun to let out a hearty laugh to see Jinsol obscenely gyrating her hips.

“Mom, what are you doing?” Chaewon whined, mouth full of pineapple chunks.

“She’s doing a hula dance!” Jungeun answered, trying to stop her wife’s reenactment but her hands were busy clutching her stomach in laughter.

“What?”

“HULA DANCE!”

“WHAT?”

“HUULLLLLLAAAAAA!”

\---

“Queen Nayeon and Queen Jeongyeon of the Im Kingdom, and their daughter Dahyun,” Yeojin announced at the top of her lungs, the scroll she was holding longer than her height.

The royals tried not to step on the rest of the parchment as they entered the brightly decorated Jung castle ballroom. Most already used to the rather quirky ways of the Jung family.

The party was in full swing as the sun started to set. Jungeun and Jinsol were dressed in their royal colors arm-in-arm exchanging pleasantries with guests of all walks of life, class separation be damned on this day. Hyunjin was holding her head as high as possible, trying to fill her parent’s shoes as castle guard while they freshened up after their trip. Haseul, Vivi, and Heejin were speeding around ensuring no one’s hands were empty of food or drink. Chaewon and Yerim running around the guests being the reason the guests were dropping their food and drinks.

“Knight Ha Sooyoung, her wife Ha Jiwoo and their daughter Hyejoo,” Yeojin’s made sure to read this entry slowly in case Chaewon was listening to her sweet, melodic voi...

“JIWWWWWOOOOOOOO!”

“JUNGEUUUUNNNNN!”

Everyone within fifty meters winced at the ear bursting screams. A blur of red zoomed into Jiwoo’s waiting arms as she caught the giddy queen and spun her around. Being almost a decade apart could do that to a person. But Jungeun was never the most composed of royals.

Jinsol made her way up the steps to greet the guests, unsurprised she could still recognize them. But the small raven haired one huddled behind the visiting knight’s back was unfamiliar to her, not having seen her since she was no taller than her kneecaps.

“Wow, is this Hyejoo now?”

“Ypffff mipth msss,” Jiwoo answered, muffled by Jungeun’s colossal shoulders, before turning her head towards Jinsol smiling proudly. “Yes it is.”

“Sweetheart, don’t be shy. These are our old friends,” Sooyoung baited, trying to sidestep so Jinsol could re-meet her daughter.

“The nice queens that took forever to fall in love?”

Jinsol and Jungeun fought the blush in their faces but couldn’t disagree with the moniker. Without the two in front of them - and many other people convincing them their feelings were mutual - they wouldn’t have made it this far. They crouched in front of their saviors’ daughter so she could meet them halfway.

And when she peeked out behind Sooyoung’s back, their hearts melted.

“Hi,” Hyejoo greeted, the ponytail at the top of her head flopping side to side.

“Hi Hyejoo, I’m your aunt Jinsol. Not your real aunt but might as well be. This beauty here is your aunt Jungeun. We met when you were very young. You know you used to live in this castle?”

Jiwoo cuddled into her wife’s side as Hyejoo took in their every word Jinsol said, giving a short summary of how they knew each other. Hyejoo was amazing at retaining information. She wondered if the two also knew Jiwoo owed her relationship to Sooyoung to them.

(Even if it resorted to Jungeun developing a fear of leaving the sanctity of her kingdom. This reunion was long overdue for all of them.)

“I didn’t know you saved aunt Jungeun,” she addressed her taller mother.

Sooyoung fought an eye roll as Jiwoo shook her head.

(Jinsol did her best not to look hurt that she played a part in putting Jungeun in the face of danger.)

“No, no, no, I saved your aunt Jungeun. That’s how we met,” Jiwoo corrected.

“Why didn’t you save her?” Hyejoo questioned. Her knighted mother fit more of the character type to save the former princess.

That brought Jinsol’s spirits up as she remembered Jiwoo and Sooyoung’s first meeting, which tragic backstory aside was quite the kneeslapper. One would think it would be the knight that saved the princess but it was a commoner that beat her to it. Before Jinsol could retell the tale, another small body joined their group.

“Chaewon, I want you to meet your aunts Sooyoung and Jiwoo. And this is their daughter Hyejoo,” Jungeun introduced, waiting for her daughter to match the name to the face.

“The knight and farmer that didn’t know they were dating?”

It was the visitors’ turn to turn red. Jungeun chuckled into Jinsol’s shoulder, even if their daughter was crass.

“What’s that?” Chaewon eyed the girl and whatever she holding behind her back.

“Oh, this is for you,” Hyejoo stuck her arm out, a stuffed animal suffocated by her strong grip.

Jiwoo and Sooyoung should’ve warned Hyejoo in the carriage about her gift (and the memories it would trigger). They tried to stop her from choosing it but she already spent her allowance and the vendor was adamant on no returns. The town ran the vendor out the next day for selling products that represented a certain species the townspeople were uncomfortable with. There was nothing else they could offer the princess that wasn’t secondhand.

Trained to keep a good face, Jinsol and Jungeun smothered their reactions professionally. But the Has could see Jungeun step slightly behind Jinsol in fear and Jinsol’s hands ball into fists.

“Thank you!” Chaewon hugged the wolf dearly, almost taking Hyejoo with it. “What is it?”

“It’s a wer-”

“A wolf,” Jiwoo finished for her child. “Just a wolf.”

Chaewon furrowed her eyebrows and looked up at her mothers. She was too hopped up on sugar to notice the change in her parents’ appearances.

“I thought you said wolves were evi-”

“Hyejoo, why don’t you and Chaewon go off and get something to eat? You did say you were hungry on the ride here,” Jiwoo saved the conversation a second time. “Is that Heejin and Hyunjin now? They’re so big now.”

Shrugging and oblivious to what was happening above them, the two scurried off, leaving the adults suspended in time as Jiwoo saved face.

\---

”Chae, who’s your friend?” Yerim asked.

Her and the other kids were playing in the bubbles Haseul was creating. A concoction of bath soap and water and she and Vivi were the sole entertainment for the kids for the rest of the evening after the main dishes were served. She would’ve joined her parents singing but Vivi looked like she needed help.

(She really didn’t.)

Chaewon pulled Hyejoo in after dragging her up to her bedroom to add her new stuffed animal to her collection on her bed. Hyejoo got a glimpse of a plethora of pink balls with a face on them taking up half the bed, contrasting her grey addition.

“This is Hyejoo. She’s from the Kim kingdom,” Chaewon beamed, showing off Hyejoo like she was the best birthday present of all.

“You’re Queen Taeyeon’s daughter?” One kid asked.

“Well no…”

“Scoundrel! That would mean Queen Jungeun and her are sisters and that doesn’t make sense.” Another kid butted in.

“Hey my sister is super old and we’re still related.”

“I heard that Yeojin.”

“Queen Taeyeon isn’t Queen Jungeun’s mom. That’s her aunt. Her parents are dead from the wer-”

“Okay!” Vivi clapped loudly, interrupting the dispute. She recognized the newcomer immediately as Sooyoung and Jiwoo’s child - everyone heard Jungeun’s warm welcome - the same triangular smile she sported as a toddler now trembling as the other children questioned her heritage. She could sense the discomfort the conversation was bringing to the child she used to watch after. “Anyone want to play a game?”

Vivi and Haseul rearranged the room for musical chairs while the kids took turns with the bubble wands - hurrying as Yeojin dared someone to drink the mixture - sparing a glance at each other.

It was still a touchy subject in the castle and they weren’t sure how much Chaewon or Hyejoo knew.

But a birthday would not be the day they would find out.

\---

“I’m sorry to interrupt, Your Majesty, but it’s news about the Choi kingdom,” Knight Taeyang interjected, bowing his deepest apologies to the queens.

Jungeun and Jinsol spent as much time as they could with their daughter but she couldn’t be contained within one activity so they let her run free. Instead, they danced the night away, keeping pace with their old friends so they can catch up on old times.

From a distance, it looked romantic. The two pairs were trading dance steps it seemed. But Jinsol and Sooyoung were trying to outdo the other in dipping their wives. Jungeun and Jiwoo welcomed the knight’s interruption to give a break to all the blood rushing to their heads.

“Taeyang, you just got back from a trip. A long one if I may add. Go enjoy time with your daughters. They….they are….well they are somewhere.”

Last Jinsol saw Hyunjin and Yerim, they were raiding the dessert trays with Heejin and Yeojin.

“You’re right. I apologize again,” Taeyang bowed.

Jungeun stared up at her wife, hair wild and eyes glazed - attributed to the blood pooling in her skull from being over-dipped - and offered a small smile.

“Go.”

“What?”

“I’d like to spend time with Jiwoo anyway,” Jungeun looked over at her friend who was swatting away her wife’s mischievous hands tickling her. Some things never changed. “Go debrief and come back to me.”

Jinsol pouted.

She wanted to spend more time with her wife.

Jungeun was quick to kiss the pout away.

She extracted her best friend from her former royal guard and led her into a waltz. But Jiwoo was not having it being led by Jungeun. Their waltz quickly turned into a flurry of playful punches and swats (which Vivi unfortunately found herself in the crossfire).

“Come on,” Jinsol took Sooyoung by her collar.

“Why do I have to get debriefed? I don’t work for this kingdom anymore.”

\---

“A Kirby.”

“Never heard of it.”

“Oh my mothers imported many illustrated novels about the pink hero,” Chaewon ranted as her and Hyejoo shared a soda.

For the other kids, it was a treat. But Jinsol’s addiction to carbonated beverages and her wife’s affinity to sweetened milk teas meant it was a common taste for Chaewon.

(Which is why she pretended to be full so Hyejoo could finish the rest of the drink.)

The other kids were lost in their own hand games on the staircase - Hyunjin winning whatever game she was a part of with Heejin cheering behind her. Hyejoo and Chaewon found themselves at the top, effectively blocking out the music until is was a pleasant thumping on the furniture around them.

Hyejoo was surprised the royal daughter was still having a conversation with her. She excused it first as her duty but Chaewon genuinely cared about her. Turns out, Hyejoo had just turned nine and Chaewon had wanted to gift her one of those fluffy pink circles on her bed.

(Hyejoo declined, a little creeped out at how the dolls looked in the moonlight.)

For Chaewon, it was the same feeling of surprise. She showed Hyejoo around as her obligation but Hyejoo felt more like a friend. She was told they grew up together - Hyejoo taking Yerim’s old crib when she was born - until Sooyoung was transferred.

“How come you haven’t come back until now?”

Her teacher would scold her for her improper grammar.

“My moms work a lot.”

“Oh you must be bored a lot.”

“No, I help out a lot too. My mom doesn’t know this but I resharpen her knives for her because she doesn’t do it right,” Hyejoo pounded on her chest in pride. “I also know how to throw a knife on target.”

“That’s amazing Hyejoo. You know I can shoot an arrow on target. Mom said I always got to be ready for the wolves.”

“Why would you want to shoot arrows with wolves? Can they even hold a bow?”

“I don’t know. That’s just what she told me.”

Hyejoo took another swig at her fizzy drink, suppressing a burp until the princess was out of hearing range.

But they have yet to be apart since they met.

“I’ve always wanted to try archery but…”

The girls let the silence speak for itself. A new set of a bow and arrows could’ve been traded for food for a week. Chaewon knew she was one of the more fortunate people. Many of the outfits the kids were wearing - even Heejin and Hyunjin’s - were newly pressed.

Her mothers were doing their best to make sure everyone in their kingdom had access to the same opportunities she had. But scandals from greedy commoners and business people hindered them from fully meeting that goal.

Which is why her birthday was open to the public.

Yet the only kid she wanted to mingle with was Hyejoo.

“If you visit again, I can teach you.”

“I would love that Your Highness.”

“Chaewon.”

“Your...Chaewon.”

\---

“Are you sure you have to leave tonight? You can take our bedroom and we’ll take the reading room. Hyejoo can share Chae’s room,” Jungeun offered.

“Yeah, they’re children. They don’t take up much room. You can stack them,” Jinsol narrowly avoiding Jungeun’s swat.

The full moon shone a pleasant path for Taeyang and his wife Hyorin to follow when they dropped the Has back home. Jinsol thought they should spend more time with their family but they were the best knights in the kingdom and they couldn’t trust their childhood friends with anybody.

(Hyunjin already marched Yerim to bed once the party was declared over so they got that part covered.)

Jiwoo and Sooyoung offered an apologetic smile. They’ve already sacrificed a lot to make it to this celebration. Jiwoo could’ve made a few more schillings if she set up shop today. Sooyoung would’ve had extra credentials for a promotion if she worked the night round.

But seeing their friends again was worth it. The age lines were deeper and their eyes more sunken but they were still the same Jungeun and Jinsol. (And in their brief reunion, the same Haseul and Vivi.)

“We really should get going Jungie,” Jiwoo apologized but her teary eyes negating the statement.

“We will try to see you again. Be sure to continue inviting us,” Sooyoung said.

“You’re always invited,” Jungeun replied.

Jinsol nodded in agreement.

Sooyoung’s need to prove herself aligned with the Kim kingdom’s fall from grace. Queen Taeyeon’s knights didn’t want to serve under a forever-single queen. Sooyoung was the first to jump at the opportunity. Hyejoo was barely three when they moved back east. But they knew they were always welcome in the Jung kingdom and if the opportunity presented itself again - hopefully without the power vacuum - Sooyoung and Jiwoo would make the Jung castle their home again.

(Jinsol was serious about stacking the kids.)

If the childhood comrades were having a hard time saying goodbye, it was surprisingly harder for the strangers that only really knew each other for a few hours.

“I’m going to miss you Chae…”

Four gasps were heard.

“HYEJOO! Address her properly.”

“JIWOO! She’s practically family. Chaewon, did you give permission for Hyejoo to call you that?”

The small girl nodded.

Before the tears formed, not liking that Chaewon was being lectured, Hyejoo scooped up the girl in her arms, glaring at the moms, royal or not. Even though she was a year older, Hyejoo trumped her in stature feeling helpless as Chaewon started to tremble. It helped that Chaewon came out with a blanket - in case it rained she reasoned - so Hyejoo could easily cradle the girl. Hyejoo looked up to her moms for the next step in a crying princess situation.

It wasn’t in her mother’s knight handbook.

Jinsol and Sooyoung kneeled before their daughters, feeling guilty of their quick judgment.

(Their wives held in a sigh.)

“We’ll see each other again soon, okay?”

“Hyejoo it’ll only be a little while.”

“But our birthdays are too close together. It’ll be a long time more.”

“If my next meeting calls for it, I’ll take Chaewon with me to the Kim kingdom.”

Jungeun ignored the pang in her chest at not being invited. But it’s not like her fear would allow her to go anyway. She felt a comforting hand on her back and thanked Jiwoo for being there.

Both girls nodded and hugged each other again, engulfed in Chaewon’s blanket.

“You smell good.”

“Thanks, it’s the pineapples. I covered my blanket in it.”

“Chaewon, why did you—”

“You can have it if you want!” The girl held her blanket out in a death grip, mirroring Hyejoo’s earlier stronghold on the plushie she bought Chaewon. “It can be my late birthday present to you.”

Now it was all four moms’ time to gush.

Chaewon knew her parents would find her another blanket anyway.

(They did.)

“You have my blanket and I have your wolf,” Chaewon explained as Hyejoo slipped the cloth from her fingers.

Jinsol didn’t bother hiding her disgust at the reminder there was a stuffed version of her mortal enemy in the castle, no matter how cute her daughter’s voice was. Sooyoung and Jiwoo had already apologized a million times during dinner. The four of them understood that the young ones had no real idea what kind of changes the wolves have brought upon them all.

Why Jiwoo had to be the one to visit Jungeun, never the other way around.

Why Jungeun had these fears despite being an outspoken and outgoing child.

Why Sooyoung needed time and time again to climb the ladder despite her heroic adventures beforehand.

Why Jinsol still felt like all of it was her fault despite her wife’s (and the kingdom’s) objections.

When they would reach a mature age, they’d tell their children about it all.

(Jinsol hoped Chaewon would accidentally lose the wolf toy by then.)

“You best be on your way,” Jungeun said.

The longer they stayed, the more anxious she was getting. It wasn’t any darker than it was an hour ago but she wanted her best friend, her wife, and their child in their beds before midnight.

Boarding the carriage, the trio waved their best friends off, cradling the girls who felt like they lost a best friend as well, counting down the days they would see each other again.

But little did they know, another attack would take place along the trail to the Kim kingdom before the Has were safe and sound.

It would be years before they were reunited once more.

And much to Jinsol’s displeasure, Chaewon kept the stuffed wolf until then.

**NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: THE NEXT FULL MOON**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q (ourtuneissohigh): Hi, I'm Q. I wrote Red Velvet fics on AFF because that was the only fandom I was a part of. But somehow I got pulled into stanning Loona. I blame Jinsoul and the amazing song that is "Stylish." We Jaden Jeong-ed the heck out of this fic so much more to come. See you on the next one.
> 
> N (LazyNinja): Hey, I got Q to stan Loona and therefore make this story exist. Hope you enjoy.
> 
> BOTH: Comments much appreciated. Seriously, it gives us a reason to look at our phones (not that we don't do that already).


	3. You and Me Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****
> 
> **Format as follows:**
> 
> _Italics: Past_  
  
Straight (but really gay): Present  

> 
>   


_“Keep your voice down.”_

_“You didn’t keep your voice down when you were giggling at whatever the dancer said all last night! I didn't think you were capable of laughing.”_

_“I could say the same to you with her teacher!”_

_“Moms?”_

_Jinsol rubbed her sleepy eyes as she opened the door to her chambers. Outside, the only source of light was the full moon and the twinkling of scattered stars. It was too early for her to be up for her morning classes._

_Jessica and Hyoyeon swallowed the rest of their overdue conversation to appear like the happily married couple they were supposed to be in front of their daughter._

_Their daughter that was still saddened from yesterday afternoon’s events meeting her future spouse. Their bright-eyed child was brimming with joy when the Kim carriage pulled up, eager to meet who she would be spending the rest of her life with. She wanted to do better than her mothers’ loveless marriage. So Jinsol was doing her best to be optimistic - an easy task when her fellow schoolmate was the warm Haseul._

_When she met Jungeun, she knew it wouldn’t be hard to fall in love with her. She was already smitten._

_Kim Jungeun was not as receptive._

_(Jessica and Hyoyeon wondered if maybe Jungeun and Jinsol were switched at birth as the brunettes reaction was very similar to theirs when they met each other.) _

_“Sorry, sweetheart,” Jessica ignored Hyo’s scoff. “Go back to bed.”_

_“Are you fighting?”_

_“No.”_

_“Of course not.”_

_But the hollowness in their responses was all Jinsol needed to hear. Despite her optimism, she inherited that monotone empty tone they used as well as their cold aura._

_A young Taeyang raced up the stairs, his heavy boots echoing through the halls, panting but with urgency in his sharp eyes._

_Jessica and Hyoyeon turned to the knight-in-training who probably lost a bet to deliver a message to them. Everyone knew a message to the Jung couple past sunset would not be received well. Even Jinsol knew not to tell her moms anything when it was bedtime._

_“What is it?”_

_Taeyang darted his eyes to the younger Jung, not sure if his announcement was age-appropriate. Especially since someone who the young girl will be involved with later was the subject of the message._

_“She will be queen one day,” Hyoyeon rationalized. “Let her hear the message.”_

_Jessica appreciated her wife’s hardheaded stance - one of the few things she liked about her - and held onto Jinsol’s hand, nodding for the young ingenue to press on._

_“The Kim kingdom’s heir, Kim Jungeun, she’s gone missing.”_

_Jinsol couldn’t breathe._

_Jessica squeezed her daughter’s hand and Hyoyeon reached over to squeeze her shoulder._

_“Reports say she ran away.”_

\---

“Happy birthday sweetheart,” Jungeun uttered, brushing back her daughter’s golden hair away from her face.

It took a while to find her daughter in her mountain of stuffed animals, multiplying throughout the years. Ever giving she donated the ones she absolutely didn’t need but even then it was a lot. But once Jungeun spotted the lone grey toy, she found her daughter’s sleeping face next to it.

“Postpone my birthday, I want to sleep more..”

Jungeun raised an eyebrow as it sounded similar to a response her wife would’ve said if she woke up beside her this morning.

The door creaked open beside her.

“Oh, I apologize. I didn’t know you would be doing Chaewon's wake up call Auntie,” Yerim bowed.

Jungeun offered the handmaiden a warm smile, contradicted by her aggressive slaps on Chaewon’s body to get the sleeping beauty out of bed.

“It’s alright Yerim. You can help the other ladies set the table for breakfast.” 

Another violent slap.

“Alright. Alright. I’m up. No need to flatten me,” the teenager groaned, kicking stuffed animals away so she had a clear path out of bed.

But she made no effort to follow through.

Jungeun made sure to hit her again - softer this time - for good measure.

“Mom, I’m up!”

Jungeun knew better. She had to stay in the room until Chaewon was out of bed or else she would not be down until lunch.

Chaewon opened one eye to see her mother glaring at her from above. Huffing, she left her bed to begin her morning rituals, first smoothing out her bedhead. Feeling her mother take the brush from her, she settled into her dresser chair as her mom groomed the new adult.

“Mom, I’m eighteen today.”

“You are.” Jungeun bent down to kiss her the top of her daughter’s head.

“Has Mom made it back yet?”

“Not yet,” Jungeun tried to hide her disappointment but her daughter was perceptive and Chaewon didn’t bring her absent mother up again.

\---

_“And this would be your sleeping chambers.”_

_“I beg your pardon?”_

_“Where you go to sleep?” Haseul clarified, unsure if maybe they used different terminology in the Kim kingdom._

_Jung Jungeun - her new name - furrowed her eyebrows. It was customary to share the same room with your spouse on the night of your marriage. It was tradition. They have already followed tradition up until this point so why was Jinsol breaking it now?_

_Excusing Haseul, Jungeun walked into her room to see it all her things settled in. Her bed was definitely big enough for two people - even more._

_Where was Jinsol going to sleep?_

_“Ah, I see you have found your room. Everything is satisfactory I hope? I can tell Taeyang and his company to move furniture if the set up is not to your liking,” Jinsol said, having changed into her sleeping garments._

_Jungeun had never seen such a casual look on Jinsol. She looked approachable. Friendly even. How could she not be?_

_Jinsol had been nothing more than polite the entire ceremony. Asking her if the food was okay, the music to her liking, the volume enough, even if her outfit was okay (having backup outfits upstairs if Jungeun didn’t like it). Jungeun thought these acts were to ease her way into the marriage but Jinsol hadn’t set foot in her room, leaning against her door frame as she surveyed her handiwork._

_“I’ll be sleeping here?”_

_“Yes, is that...to your liking?”_

_The hundredth time Jinsol has asked that question today._

_Jungeun couldn’t say no. The sleeping chambers were almost similar to her old room. The new Jung wasn’t sure why but her stomach flipped - probably all the food she ate downstairs - at the thought of Jinsol going as far as to copying her room’s layout to make her feel more at home. But she shook the thought away easily._

_Jinsol was just being polite._

_“Yes, thank you,” Jungeun wasn’t sure if she was to invite Jinsol in._

_This was her castle after all. Jungeun was the guest. Jinsol could step in if she pleases._

_“Well, I’ll be off to bed,” Jinsol declared, louder than intended._

_Jungeun stepped aside so Jinsol could claim a side of the bed. It was the least she could do if Jinsol had to sleep in an exact replica or her old bedroom. Maybe Jinsol was being polite to call it “her room” to grant her the agency she’d been deprived of._

_But Jinsol wished her good night and left Jungeun to sleep in her new room alone._

\---

“How do you manage to beat me every time?”

“Simple, I become one with the horse.”

“That is the most idiotic statement I’ve ever heard.”

“Do you hear the phrases you say Auntie?”

Hyunjin and Jinsol dismounted their steeds - Jinsol swatting Hyunjin’s armored stomach - as they led their horses to a much needed water break near the creek. Collapsing beside each other, the two were racing to the spot.

As usual, the seneschal won every time.

Hyunjin closed her eyes and soaked up the sun, letting the jobs of the past few days settle in.

Jinsol and Hyunjin were quite a duo to be reckoned with. Since the uprising of wolf attacks in all the lands, they became part of a coalition to end the vicious species once and for all. Head Knight Minho led his own troops but even then, he couldn’t beat the queen and the second-in-command. (It was inevitable Hyunjin would be Head Knight one day but she was not of age when the position opened so they transplanted someone from their allies the Choi kingdom.) 

No matter.

Hyunjin’s records were better than Head Knight material. But she stayed seneschal until he retired or transferred.

(“Schnitzel?” Yeojin asked when learning the knighthood ranks.

“Seneschal,” Hyunjin corrected. “It means second-in-command.”

“Your title’s longer than your name.”)

Jinsol and her kill counts surmounted past levels unimaginable. So have the bids for their acts of service. They rode day and night, staking out dens and slaughtering the beasts they found in each of the other kingdoms near and far. No one actually witnessed these acts but when the first royal took the knight crest, people attributed every kill to her and Hyunjin.

They were heroes.

While Hyunjin relaxed - deserving it after beheading a werewolf who expertly won the hearts of his town with trickery only to be discovered with the head knight’s observations of their erratic twitching - Jinsol observed the ground they were on.

For Hyunjin, it was revenge.

For Jinsol, it was redemption.

If Vivi could properly diagnose them, she would say the both of them had gone a little mad. Never resting, never questioning, never second guessing. It didn’t help that Hyunjin never backed down from a challenge and Jinsol kept true to her word that she would find out what happened to her and her wife's childhood friends those years back.

But their sweet personalities weren’t erased. Like now, they were racing back to the castle for Chaewon’s birthday. But they were on duty until then.

“You see those?”

Hyunjin took in one last breath before donning her heroine persona.

“Wolf tracks.”

Hyunjin and Jinsol stared down at the prints, Jinsol getting up follow their trail, hand trained on her sword. Pushing her body aches aside, Hyunjin took the lead. Even if Jinsol was on high alert, Hyunjin’s tracking was better tuned.

She was thankful for that as it kept her on the job, not wanting to think about the day her hypersenses got the worst of her.

(And when Jinsol almost let her go indefinitely.)

“They’re old.”

Hyunjin resheathed her sword.

“Those bristles wedged into them are from trees that shed months ago.”

Hyunjin counted a few seconds for Jinsol’s anger to dissipate - sometimes it took more strength than needed to snap Jinsol out of it - and then heard the resheathing of her sword as well.

\---

_Jungeun and Jinsol were going on their very first stroll together in the Jung garden. Having woken up in bed alone, still thinking Jinsol, her wife now, would be beside her, Jungeun decided that she needed some answers. Even at the distance they were at - at least five feet apart because they weren’t really married - Jungeun could admire Jinsol’s profile in the daylight._

_Had her jawline always been that sharp?_

_“..Was your sleep pleasant?”_

_“Yes it was.”_

_“And breakfast?”_

_“Yes it was.”_

_“The water Haseul drew for your bath to your liking?”_

_“Yes, Jinsol, I am extremely satisfied with my stay here.”_

_“Good good,” Jinsol nodded._

_Jungeun caught Jinsol fist pumping herself - an act she had only seen knights do after winning fencing matches - and giggled._

_Jinsol swallowed hard._

_She hadn’t heard Jungeun laugh in a long time. When they met, Jungeun barely spoke more than ten syllables to her. And their meetings after that were heavy with the trauma that followed Jungeun’s running away from home. When Jinsol thought Jungeun was warming up to her, the Kim kingdom underwent a huge upheaval of power and destruction, rushing their marriage. Jinsol was sure Jungeun would hate her even more now. So she was doing everything in her power to try to make Jungeun happy._

_Which is why Jinsol allowed Jungeun to bring the staff she wanted with her to the castle._

_Another break from tradition._

_Much like them sleeping in separate rooms._

_“If you want, we can invite Jiwoo up here too?”_

_Jinsol knew Jiwoo was not part of the castle staff but Jungeun was always so happy around Jiwoo._

_“Really?” Jungeun’s eyes lit up at the thought._

_She had forgotten why she asked Jinsol on this stroll, overjoyed at the thought of Jiwoo living with her. _

_(She knew Sooyoung would like it too if Jiwoo was around more.)_

_Thinking of how generous Jinsol has been to not only invite her staff but staff’s family as well, two toddlers rushed past them. One from her kingdom, the other from Jinsol’s._

_Well, now both from her kingdom._

_“Tag, you’re it Queen Jinsol!” Hyunjin gave out a toothy smile._

_Heejin, new to the castle grounds, couldn’t believe Hyunjin just touched the queen. Jungeun and her would play as well but she was always told to ask before making Jungeun a participant in any of her games._

_“May I play with them?” Jinsol asked while she looked towards her new wife, allowing her to process her suggestion. She’d have to pull a lot of strings for Jiwoo’s transfer but she’d do it all for the woman sleeping at the opposite end of her corridors._

_It looked like Jungeun was deep in thought and not wanting to push, she wanted to give Jungeun the space she needed._

_That she deserved._

_Jungeun nodded, taken aback by Jinsol screaming like a banshee and chasing the two kids._

\---

“Your left or my left?”

“My left...no your left….okay….a little bit more….no bring it back to the right…..up….my up...oh right there’s only one up hahaha…. Perfect.”

“This is exactly where it was last time,” Haseul huffed, jumping off the ladder to see that Yeojin didn’t help her position the banner at all.

Chaewon and Jungeun shook their heads at the two sisters as they removed the stems from the flowers to decorate the tables with. Yeojin was helping them earlier but that girl hopped from task to task like deadlines never existed. Haseul and Vivi knew that already, having Yeojin as one of their students.

“Aunt Jungeun, we can do that instead,” Yerim and Heejin offered.

Like usual, they were bored by the afternoon and since school was not in session today - Chaewon’s gift from Haseul and Vivi - there was nothing else they could do. They were growing bored of the many activities and games in the castle. Homework was out of the question. It’s not like they could swim in the creek or travel the shops either.

New kingdom rule: no one staffed here was allowed to leave the castle without a castle guard escorting them out.

Surprisingly not Jungeun’s rule.

But Jinsol’s.

But Jungeun knew if she stopped working, she’d start thinking and if she started thinking, she’d think of Jiwoo and Sooyoung and Hyejoo and she couldn’t ruin her daughter’s eighteenth with another one of her panic attacks.

Vivi looked over from her task of scrubbing the floor and saw Jungeun’s chest rise and fall slowly. Getting up, not wanting to alarm anybody, she tried to take Jungeun to an empty room so her daughter wouldn’t see.

“Aunt Jungeun, can you tell us a story?”

Yerim suggested cockroach gathering as an activity and Heejin needed to replace that. After all, Yerim was getting over a terrible stomachache. What better way then have the queen tell a story. She knew Jungeun loved to ramble so this would buy time before the party.

And like that, Jungeun snapped out of it to smile at the young girl.

“What do you want to hear?” Jungeun exhaled deeply, letting her heart rate return to normal.

Grateful Jungeun kept them around all these years, Vivi continued her task, smiling as Haseul joined her shortly, but ears trained on whatever tale Jungeun chose to tell.

\---

_Jungeun should’ve known._

_There was an unspoken fact that extramarital affairs existed among royal couples. They couldn’t choose who to be contractually bound to but they could choose who visited their sleeping chambers at night._

_Hearing giggling from Jinsol’s room, Jungeun slammed her brush down only for Vivi to finish combing through her hair._

_“You’re doing it again,” Vivi called out from behind her._

_“What?”_

_“Overthinking,” the castle physician warned._

_There weren’t accounts of overthinking and worrying physically affecting one’s body but Vivi’s brand of knowledge was more updated than the current medical reading selections. And she didn’t need text to solidify her belief that overthinking was unhealthy._

_There was evidence that that type of pessimism could drive a person out of their mind._

_Unheard of for the royal family._

_They were supposed to be perfect. Vivi didn’t want Jungeun to be the first exception._

_“Sorry.. It’s just.. I should’ve known,” Jungeun whispered._

_She thought Jinsol and her were making progress together. They were linking arms during morning strolls. They sat next to each other during mealtimes. They even shared quills and ink bottles when signing contracts. They mixed their laundry._

_But the soft melodic singing coming from a voice that definitely did not belong to Jinsol felt like a betrayal._

_But isn’t this what Jungeun wanted?_

_An unemotional attachment with someone who could grant her freedom. It’s all Jinsol has provided and yet Jungeun felt like it wasn’t enough._

\---

“You thought Aunt Jinsol was cheating on you?”

Jungeun nodded, feeling foolish looking back on their beginnings.

They had all migrated to the center of the room, Jungeun poised in one of the newly waxed chairs, a semicircle of her closest friends and family around her. Yerim and Heejin were dreamily listening, giggling at Jungeun’s unintelligent conclusions about her new wife at the time. Yeojin was following along, mouth open, mentally taking notes so she could put the moves on Chaewon. (If it worked on her mom, it should work on her.) Vivi and Haseul snuck glances back and forth, knowing the story all too well as they played important roles as supporting characters. Chaewon looked ready to pull her hair out but appreciated her mother bringing them all together like this.

Like old times.

Chaewon couldn’t believe she just used that phrase. She just turned eighteen.

As disgustingly in love her parents were, she missed seeing the two joined at the helm. Missed walking in on them kissing and exchanging sweet nothings in every room of the castle. Missed her parents both waking her up from bed, faking her sleepiness so they could spend more time together. Missed her parents standing in the back of the reading room while she took her lessons.

It’s not like they were avoiding each other. Whenever Jinsol was home, they made up for lost time.

But Jinsol’s visits were a fleeting glance.

Chaewon understood that their bliss couldn’t last forever.

They had duties inside their kingdom and outside it. Naturally, Jungeun took over prior and Jinsol, the latter. It would’ve been more equal if Jungeun felt a lot safer outside. But her recovery was ruined by the attack that cost her best friend, her wife, and her child.

(Chaewon had nudged Heejin to ask her mother to tell a story instead of asking Haseul. She heard her mother’s breathing shallow. Like Vivi, she was good at spotting another one of her mom’s episodes.)

Chaewon knew Jinsol couldn’t wait forever for her wife to join her on her excursions.

But she wished she would’ve waited a little while longer.

\---

_“Haseul?!”_

_Jungeun never thought Jinsol discriminated based on class and even if she half-expected another royal to step out of Jinsol’s private chambers, she didn’t think it would be the court musician's daughter._

_That melodic voice she’d been hearing in Jinsol’s room for days had been Haseul this whole time?_

_“I thought…” Jungeun wasn’t sure where to begin._

_“You thought?” Haseul was in need of a cup of water but answering whatever inquiries the queen had was more important. But seeing Jungeun, hair brushed back, sleeping gown pressed, standing outside Jinsol’s doors nervously, she pieced it together quickly._

_“Oh. You thought? That we? No. No. NO! That is not a thing that is happening. We aren’t. That’s not. We? No.”_

_Now Haseul wasn’t sure where to end._

_(Vivi felt a migraine forming as she listened in on the stairwell.)_

_As both women opened their mouths and closed them, thinking of the best thing to say in a situation like this, Haseul’s eyes softened at the mix of emotions swimming in Jungeun’s eyes._

_Did the girl really not know?_

_Jinsol would never bring anyone up to her room if it wasn’t the one grasping for words in front of her._

_“Jinsol sometimes has trouble sleeping at night. So I sing her to sleep. No love songs though. Well sometimes but I do not pretend that I am singing to her. Well I am singing to her. In a way but not…”_

_(And Vivi thought Jungeun was a rambler.)_

\---

Chaewon rubbed her temples.

And she thought only one of her moms was oblivious.

The door slammed open - Chaewon clutched onto her mom’s hand knowing how jumpy she gets - and seeing who was at the door, maybe birthday wishes do come true.

“Stop entering so hastily. You know my wife gets anxi...HELLO!”

Jinsol and Hyunjin strolled in, confusion on their faces. Why were their loved ones were gathered in a cult circle in the middle of the ballroom?

(Hyunjin tried not to look at one particular occupant in the room. She wasn’t sure if she deserved to be labelled a “loved one” from her.

“What’s going on?”

(Heejin looked away as well.)

“Aunt Jungeun is telling us a story.”

“Ahhh!” Jinsol smiled at her wife and daughter. “Happy birthday sweetheart! I have a surprise waiting for you up front.”

(God how Jungeun missed that voice.)

“Thanks Mom!” Chaewon said, wondering if she possessed psychic skills now that her mom was home. She closed her eyes, wishing for a scythe like the Moon kingdom’s heir already had.

Even if she was covered in sweat and dirt, Jungeun scooted over for Jinsol to sit beside her.

“Honey, I smell bad..”

“I don’t care.”

Jinsol allowed herself to finally relax, falling into Jungeun’s arms. If she dug deep, she would find that this - being in the sanctity of her home in the arms of her lover - is what was filling the void in her heart.

“Anything happen while I was gone?”

It was that last straw of her friends going missing that made Jinsol do something about her complacency at home.

She hasn’t kept still since then.

What was worse was Jungeun understood why she had to do what she had to do out there. Jungeun looked up at her wife, hoping to make this moment last longer. It wouldn’t be long before she was off on another excursion.

An excursion she knew Jinsol would reason as a way to make the kingdom safe.

To make her friends feel justice.

To make if safe for her wife to leave the castle.

And Jungeun knew the longer she kept her at home, the longer it would take for this extermination mission to carry out. So she kept mum about all of the nightmares she was having, the panic attacks that kept Vivi constantly checking up on her, the deep prayers she uttered every time Jinsol and Hyunjin left on horseback.

Because she knew Jinsol would drop it all to stay with her like before.

And she couldn’t do that to her again.

“Nothing, my love. Nothing at all.”

Realizing they were neglecting the company of the rest of their castlehold, they looked up and saw no one except a sleeping Hyunjin furled up on a bench in the corner of the room. They’d enjoy their privacy, however long it was.

Their house would be swimming with guests soon.

“OHHHHHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH!”

“Jung...”

“It’s practical—”

“Jin…”

“She said she wanted to see what the Western kingdoms used—”

“Sol…”

“I had Hyunjin try it on me on the way here. If you use the felt tipped ones, it doesn’t hurt much.”

“Thanks for the rapid fire crossbow, Mom!”

\---

_Jiwoo massaged her shoulders. They were sore having carried crates of fruits up the hill to the Kim kingdom to celebrate something._

_She didn’t know what for._

_But she hoped her family’s produce would make it a festive event. Skipping down the dirt path, her pockets jingling with coins, she thought of what she could spend the extra schillings on. Maybe some new parchment. Or meat. Or both._

_(It would’ve been smarter to invest in a cart.)_

_She was too lost in her lavish fantasies of unending parchment and pork when she was almost knocked off the path by a wild animal. _

_Dusting herself off, she cursed herself for thinking it was even an animal in the first place._

_“Your Highness, I’m sorry I didn’t see you there,” Jiwoo bowed._

_She knew this was the princess from the many trips she took to the market with her castle guard. They never officially met but she saw her face a few stalls over. She shouldn’t have been walking on that side of the road. Maybe royals only walked on that side. She tried not to cry at the punishment she would be given for interrupting the princess’ exercise._

_But her eyes caught the loose bindle the princess was carrying._

_And the tears streaming down her face meant this wasn’t a run for leisure._

_“Did I hurt you, Your Highness?”_

_Jungeun shook her head._

_She didn’t know what she was doing._

_She didn’t know where was going._

_She didn’t know if she could trust this person._

_What she did know was she couldn’t stay here and be cattled off to the best buyer to strengthen trading lines. She was a person, not a commodity._

_“I’m running away…”_

_Jiwoo must’ve been working long because she was not hearing the princess right. She was leaving the grand estate up the road?_

_But as Jungeun continued to cry, Jiwoo sympathized with the girl. She too felt like running away sometimes. But she squashed those dreams because this was the life she was dealt._

_But the princess could change her fate._

_She was a princess after all._

_“Can you help me?”_

_Help a member of the royal family cause uproar in the kingdom? She could be hung, drawn, and quartered for this._

_But the princess wouldn’t be leaving a life like hers if it wasn’t to run away from something. Maybe something threatening. Maybe something terrifying._

_And Jiwoo was always taught to defend oneself in the face of danger._

_Taking the girl’s hand in hers - squealing internally for touching someone of royal blood - she led her into the forest where the royal guard shouldn’t track them._

\---

“Queen Amber and Queen Krystal…”

“Ahem…”

“Queen Krystal and Queen Amber…”

“Are you serious right now?”

“Of the Liu kingdom and their daughter SinB. Oh that is a nice name change,” Yeojin complimented, high-fiving the princess on her way in.

Vivi held down Haseul’s hands to prevent her from slapping her sister upside the head.

The party was in full swing. Jungeun and Jinsol were arm-in-arm but had took breaks to prevent Chaewon from giving a live presentation of Jinsol’s present (which she would be returning at the end of the month which Jungeun made her swear). Heejin was making sure everyone’s hands had something to eat or drink. Haseul and Vivi were chasing her telling her to calm down. Hyunjin was eyeing everyone up and down, even her own sister, to ensure they didn’t carry weapons. (Chaewon was allowed to carry her gift if she didn’t fire it in the ballroom). Yerim was playing piano in the corner of the room, still healing from her stomach ailment, sometimes adding musical riffs to follow Yeojin’s announcements.

“Ha Soo…”

Yeojin’s eyes widened.

Maybe she was reading the name wrong.

She really shouldn’t have spent last night trying to rearrange the letters in the “happy birthday” banner to a different anagram. It was hard to think of new phrases containing eleven letters.

But peeking above the parchment, it was as clear as Chaewon was pretty.

“Ha Sooyoung, her wife Ha Jiwoo, and their daughter Hyejoo.”

Yerim wasn’t sure what piano riff to follow that up with.

Vivi and Haseul’s necks snapped making sure Yeojin read that correctly.

Hyunjin readied her sword, not being able to see the new guests where she was standing but ready to jump.

Jinsol and Jungeun looked up from their conversation with Jinsol’s aunt and her wife, unsure if they heard right. If this was another one of Yeojin’s pranks, Jinsol would make her clean the outhouses for a year. Unlike before, Jungeun took her time to the entrance of the ballroom to see if Yeojin was hallucinating - ready to call Vivi over to check on the squire’s mental state. She was thankful Jinsol was keeping pace with her, supporting her through every step to a sight she didn’t think she’d witness again.

(Like Jungeun, Jinsol was unconvinced. But her wife needed her.)

Jiwoo and Sooyoung held their breath as their friends - could they still call them that? - walked over to them. They deserved to be yelled at for their many years of silence. If Jinsol ordered them to leave, they would oblige. But if given the chance, they would explain everything.

(Mostly everything.)

Sooyoung reached behind her to hold Hyejoo’s hand, knowing how defensive she can get. If Jinsol did end up yelling, they prayed for the queen’s wellbeing more than their own.

Sooyoung reached for her wife’s hand at well, knowing she was close to tears seeing her best friend after so many years.

There they were.

Unharmed.

Unscathed.

They had definitely aged but that was them.

Jinsol listened closely to Jungeun’s breathing. To anyone in the room, it looked like she was nuzzling into her wife.

“Sweetheart, are you having another…”

Jungeun’s world went dark.

\---

_“Where did you learn how to do that?”_

_“Everyone in the kingdom knows how to start a fire.”_

_“I don’t..”_

_Jiwoo stoked the fire. It was small as she could only find a few branches. She didn’t want to leave the princess alone for long. Leaning against a boulder, she didn’t expect the princess to saddle up next to her. It’s not like there were many boulders to lean on anyway._

_“You’re lucky.”_

_Jiwoo had to make sure that didn’t come out of her own mouth._

_Her?_

_Lucky?_

_Jiwoo was the optimistic person in town but she knew when to look at a situation objectively. And Jungeun was speaking nonsense._

_“You get to be free like this. Gather around fires like this. Travel in and out of the castle like this,” at each word Jungeun felt tears prick her eyes._

_She looked up to the sky._

_The same sky she would see from her room window._

_But this sky was comforting. It looked bigger. Wider. Full of endless possibilities. Able to reset itself each night to a different pattern of stars. She knew better. They were the same pattern but over time, they’d look different._

_Whereas she was stuck in the same routine her bloodline put her in for generations to come._

_“You get to eat when you want.”_

_“Pardon?”_

_Jiwoo wasn’t sure if Jungeun would hit her for arguing against her spiel. But Jiwoo needed Jungeun to know that her life wasn’t as free as she thought._

_“You get to eat when you want. You get choices for clothes. You have activities to fill your free time. To me, that’s freedom too.”_

_Jiwoo closed her eyes for a blow that would never happen. Jungeun would leave her now. Tell her she’s foolish and doesn’t know what she’s talking about because she’s a commoner. Turn her in to the royal guard for refuting a princess._

_But Jungeun seemed like a smart girl and every second they spent together, she felt like they were becoming friends._

_“Maybe we’re both trapped,” Jiwoo said, hoping Jungeun - woah Princess Jungeun, they were not on a first name basis - wasn’t offended._

_But Jungeun snuggled closer and apologized for staining Jiwoo’s coat with her tears._

\---

“Sweetheart? Open your eyes please..”

Jungeun awoke in one of the downstairs bed chambers. Aligning the edge of the bed were Jinsol, Vivi, Haseul - and she was not dreaming - Sooyoung and Jiwoo. This wasn’t another nightmare.

Or dream.

Sometimes, they were interchangeable.

“I thought these stopped,” Jinsol tucked a few stray strands behind her wife’s ear.

“They did,” Jungeun reassured. Jinsol wouldn’t leave the castle for another month if she knew.

(Haseul and Vivi gave her a slight nod, understanding not to tell Jinsol how frequent her attacks really were.)

Jinsol sucked in her lips and nodded, happy to see her wife’s brown eyes again. It had been years since Jungeun blacked out and it scared her like always. What should’ve been a tearful reunion turned into a bedside vigil for Jungeun to wake up. But Jinsol knew there were two bodies in the room that weren’t supposed to be there.

Weren’t supposed to be because they were declared missing.

And later dead.

“I’m so sorry,” a voice called out from the door frame.

While the queen was recovering, one guest was pacing the hallways. She didn’t know her aunts well but she’d rather be stuck here than confronting the one person she was most anxious to reunite with.

“Why are you sorry, sweetheart?” Jungeun rose herself up on her elbows to get a good look at how much the girl in the door frame had grown. If memory served her correct, Hyejoo would be seventeen years old now. Even if Jinsol was worried about Jungeun doing too much too soon by raising her upper body, she would agree with Jungeun that the raven haired Hyejoo had blossomed into a beautiful young lady.

“I should’ve come sooner. I know you said we were always invited. But well…”

Hyejoo knew her parents planned what details to leave out when giving their excuse to the Jungs but they weren’t expecting a fainting spell. This was Hyejoo’s warm-up when she would face Chaewon again. She ignored her mothers boring their eyes into her.

“...I was healing from the wolf attacks.”

(She saw her moms squeeze their hands together out of her aunts’ eyeline.)

Upon hearing the word wolf, Jinsol looked at Sooyoung and Jiwoo, analyzing their every detail.

They knew what she was doing.

Checking for any markings the wolves left.

(But only one of them had a mark and it would be best if the Jungs didn’t know about that yet.)

Jungeun bumped her head against Jinsol’s, getting her attention. Now was not the time to discuss the details. Their friends were finally here. They had accepted their open invitation. Jungeun would make certain that invitation was forever open.

“Oh and no one saw you,” Hyejoo added.

Jungeun tilted her head in confusion.

Her wife groaned.

Vivi and Haseul held their laughter.

Sooyoung and Jiwoo were unsure how to react.

“Before you fainted, your daughter decided to show the guests her new crossbow. Cool gift Aunt Jinsol.”

(Jinsol was definitely returning the gift by the end of the month.)

\---

_Jungeun grimaced as she felt her arm numbing from her sleeping position. Opening her eyes slowly, she wasn’t in the comfort of her enormous bed._

_But sleeping on top of Jiwoo._

_Kim Jiwoo._

_How she wished they grew up together. In just the past couple of hours of talking did she and the fruit seller become fast friends. Jiwoo was unafraid to speak her mind. Jiwoo was tactless. Shameless. And incredibly gifted in forest survival tactics. If they switched lives, she wondered if she would be as resourceful as the girl._

_The girl who could’ve cried wolf to the royal guards at their first meeting (who were probably out on a search party for her now)._

_It was then she realized the damage she caused. Her parents would be worried sick for her. Queens Yubin and Hyelim may sometimes look intimidating but like their daughter, grew emotionally attached to those who grew close to them._

_Just like how Jungeun was growing attached to Jiwoo._

_And also Jinsol._

_Wait, Jinsol?_

_She didn’t know why her chosen future wife popped into her head. Why did she think Jinsol would worry about her? She shouldn’t. They weren’t even married yet. Jungeun closed her eyes and willed thoughts of the Jung princess - who would’ve heard of her disappearance by now - out of her head._

_Jiwoo opened her eyes too, feeling something on top of her body wiggle too much._

_If it was another raccoon, she was going to eat it for dinner. Meat is meat. _

_Her eyes meeting Jungeun’s, Jiwoo let out an ear piercing scream._

_And like that, Jungeun was fully awake._

_And so was the wildlife around them._

\---

“You should’ve seen Princess Soojin’s face when you opened fire,” Yeojin laughed, twirling the birthday girl around.

Chaewon swallowed the bile rising in her throat; Yeojin was spinning her too fast. She would be sure to ask Haseul and Vivi to add ballroom dancing to their curriculum and make Yeojin volunteer every time.

Only Chaewon knew the real reason she went ballistic in the ballroom.

(Her weapon now confiscated by seneschal Hyunjin.)

She witnessed her mothers going through an existential crisis at the announcement of their former friends. She too was frozen but let her parents have their moment first. Before her mom’s head hit the ground - Jinsol was quick to catch her thankfully - Chaewon thought of the only distraction she could.

She was definitely going to need a ladder to pull out the arrowheads from the tapestries tomorrow morning.

Her mother was in the safety of one of the downstairs’ chambers with her other mom. With Haseul. With Vivi. With her aunts Sooyoung and Jiwoo who aged gracefully.

With Hyejoo.

Chaewon didn’t think she would recognize her. But she could never forget Hyejoo’s existence, as swift their meeting was exactly eight years ago. She didn’t know whether to hug the girl - the woman? - or beat her chest for breaking her promise.

But the fact is she didn’t.

She did return.

“Stop that Yeojin, you’re making her dizzy,” Heejin scolded, leaving Yerim’s hold on her to save the princess.

“Wait, I want to try,” Yerim asked.

"Yerim, weren't you sick?"

"I recover fast."

Before Yeojin could protest, Yerim was asking her to spin her faster and faster, and away from the princess. Guests parted the way, fear they would get hit by the girl’s flying hair like they were almost beheaded by Chaewon earlier.

“I guess we’re dance partners now,” Chaewon motioned to Heejin. But the cook looked as if she had seen a ghost.

Chaewon turned her head to the cause of Heejin’s expression.

“Chae…”

“Princess Chaewon,” Chaewon corrected the intruder.

This was not how the reunion was supposed to go. But considering how her mother had fainted during her own, hers wasn’t that bad.

“Right, Princess Chaewon..,” Hyejoo amended, wanting to break eye contact with the girl but needing to prove that she was sorry.

Sorry for missing out on years of birthdays, sleepovers, and holidays. Sorry for leaving their last conversation open. Sorry for giving her false hope.

(Sorry for keeping secrets.)

“I’m going to go check on the food trays…” and Heejin was gone.

But Hyejoo stayed.

They stood like that in the middle of the dancefloor, staring at each other but also trying not to lock eyes for too long. They didn’t want the other to know how empty the last few years were. They were kids but they experienced what it was like to miss someone. To mourn the existence of someone you thought would always be there. Now they knew how their mothers felt. (Hyejoo knew that if Chaewon fainted, she would catch her easily. She now had the skills for that.)

Guests circled around them. Yerim’s hair slapped them a few times. Hyunjin even walked between them. It could’ve been seconds. Or minutes. Or hours.

Their mothers had emerged from the chambers, pausing their overdue reunion to see their daughters as a standstill.

However they dealt, it was their decision.

They couldn’t parent them about how to feel about this.

Last time, they made plans that were left open.

Last time, Hyejoo left.

This time, it was Chaewon.

\---

_Sooyoung watched Jiwoo attentively as she closed the door to the sleeping princess’ chambers._

_She didn’t know what transpired between them but for someone who met that day, Jungeun had requested seeing her in private. Were they friends? Did Jungeun tell her why she sparked an outrage in the castle? Was this planned?_

_The princess was found._

_And luckily for the farmers’ daughter, all her limbs were intact._

_Sooyoung was seething. Not because the princess was returned in somewhat mint condition. But because everyone in the castle was gushing over this commoner._

_Who somehow took on a pack of wolves and carried the comatose princess back up to the Kim castle._

_Sooyoung should’ve been glad that Jungeun was asleep in her room, her wounds attended to by Vivi. The tailor’s daughter had worked hard to be considered a knight. Every day she put on her uniform, it was proof that hard work can get you to where you want._

_But she was upset._

_Her path to being a head knight was hindered even more than before in the span of one night._

_“Um, I’m leaving now,” Jiwoo announced, unsure what was the proper goodbye procedure._

_Sooyoung cleared her throat._

_Jiwoo looked very different up close._

_“May I have your number?” Sooyoung blurted out._

_What was she doing? Her mouth was not behaving. Wasn’t she supposed to be mad at her?_

_“Pardon?” Jiwoo said, picking up on Jungeun’s vernacular. It did sound more pleasant than her usual “what?”_

_“Your lot number,” Sooyoung clarified, not registering why she was saying the words she was._

_“What for?”_

_“To send a thank you gift for your acts of bravery and selflessness.”_

_Sooyoung wasn’t lying and Jiwoo’s growing smile was not helping her. The royal guard was preparing a gift to thank the smiling girl per the queens request. But Sooyoung didn’t think she would be chosen to hand deliver it._

_(She ended up doing just that.)_

_But she couldn’t appear like she was courting the girl either._

_She had to backtrack._

_What did people hate?_

_Insults._

_“No way someone as small as you could’ve saved the princess,” she scoffed._

_Before Sooyoung knew it, she was flipped onto her back and a smirking Jiwoo was leaving the castle with a flip of her hair._

\---

“Mom would’ve been up here, wouldn’t she?”

Jiwoo excused herself from the quartet - promising she would return when Jungeun started panicking again, Jinsol murmuring words of comfort in her ear in a second - to follow her daughter.

After being left alone - thankfully not in the middle where everyone could see - Jiwoo could see her Hyejoo close her eyes, squinting hard, fighting something that she should’ve had control over.

Luckily, she bolted before the Jungs could question her behavior.

Jiwoo followed after but stayed silent in the corner of the room while Hyejoo composed herself. Her daughter found herself in the courtroom, housing the portraits of the many head knights and seneschals the kingdom had over the years in the castle. An apathetic portrait of Hyunjin facing her looked to be the newest addition.

“Maybe.”

(Sooyoung’s portrait would’ve been hung in the Kim castle but Hyejoo didn’t need technicalities.)

Jiwoo didn’t want Hyejoo to feel guiltier than she already did. She understood why Chaewon reacted like she did. (Jungeun followed suit and went after her own daughter.) What happened eight years ago was no one’s fault but the wicked werewolf. It obliterated them off the map. Sooyoung and Jiwoo lost their jobs as they recovered. They resurfaced three years ago and started their family from scratch.

Head Knight Sooyoung was unattainable.

Her records and honors were erased.

But Jiwoo never wanted Hyejoo to feel like it was her fault.

“She hates me.”

“Your mother could never hate you.”

“No, not her. Chae…Princess Chaewon,” Hyejoo hung her head. Hyunjin’s painted smolder was threatening above her.

Jiwoo caught her daughter before her knees gave out.

\---

_They couldn’t show all their emotions. Not while they were on the lookout._

_Not while they were being looked for._

_Not while they were being hunted._

_The Has knew if they let their emotions overcome, someone from the memorial service would see them. But they couldn’t reveal themselves now._

_Sooyoung protectively put her arms around her wife and daughter as they watched the presider give thanks for the lives that were spared and wish the perished souls’ safe journey to heaven. She could feel her wife wanting to reach out to Jungeun, who was cradling an inconsolable Yerim. Hyunjin was nowhere in sight._

_Sooyoung held in her own cries. If only they kept a better eye out, if only they left earlier or stayed the night, if only they took a less-traveled road.. maybe Hyunjin and Yerim’s parents would’ve survived._

_She too wanted to tell the Jungs that they were okay. That they could mourn three people less. But one of them wasn’t a person anymore._

_At least not by the many kingdoms’ definitions._

_One of them was a half-breed, a monster._

_They were included when the presider announced the “many who have gone missing.”_

_To the rest of the citizens, the Has were missing. It would only be a matter of time when they were declared dead._

_And then, maybe they could come out of hiding._

\---

Jungeun’s heart sank when she found her daughter buried under all her stuffed animals, holding the lone wolf close to her chest as she cried. She unfortunately inherited her knack of running away when things got tough but at least she kept her refugee spots within the castle grounds.

“I know! I messed up!” Chaewon whined.

Parenting Chaewon was easy sometimes.

“And how do you feel about that?” Jungeun sat on the small spot that wasn’t covered in pink spheres.

“I feel not very good.”

Parenting Chaewon was also hard.

Jungeun fell backwards, facing her daughter upside-down and closed her eyes. Like Jiwoo, she played the waiting game. Chaewon did not like it when her mothers overstayed their welcome.

“I feel guilty!”

There it was.

The stuffed animals were hindering Jungeun to really look at her daughter. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I dreamt of this reunion for so long and then I accepted that it wouldn’t happen. And now that it did happen, I feel bad for accepting in the first place. Because that shows that I gave up on her. And now I left her on the dance floor by herself!” Chaewon screamed to end her tirade, thankfully in the direction of the plushies.

“Your mother and I..,” Jungeun sank further into the bed, recounting that the founding moment between her romantic relationship was based on guilt.

Jinsol feeling guilty for making Jungeun run away. Jungeun feeling guilty for making Jinsol feeling guilty. Then Jinsol feeling guilty that Jungeun felt guilty for making her guilty.

They were a very complicated couple.

“..A lot of things happened between us that could’ve been solved if we were more upfront about our feelings but a lot of things were out of our control.”

“What are you saying?”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying: Hyejoo leaving you hurt you and it's okay to be upset about it. You don't have to forgive her."

"I don't?"

"No. That's your choice. But if Hyejoo really meant to hurt you, she wouldn’t have returned."

(And that’s the excuse Jungeun used every time Jinsol left the castle to perform her royal duties.)

"Only you can let her back into your life. Not your mother or I. I know you'll make the right decision."

"That's a lot on my plate Mom. I'm still a princess."

\---

_“We could’ve found your lot number in the directory.”_

_Jiwoo and Jungeun were following each other’s voices, walking alongside the castle walls. Safe to say, the royal guard were making sure another episode like last weekend’s wouldn’t happen. They were applying a background check on Jiwoo and her family before she could be cleared as a frequent visitor to the castle._

_The Kim castle._

_Where Jungeun got a sliver of freedom from._

_She wanted to keep that freedom alive._

_So this is what it has come down to._

_She looked over at Sooyoung who was trailing behind, thankfully staying enough meters away not to hear their conversation since she was the current topic. _

_(She had to trail behind as she was nursing a sore back thanks to a one Miss Jiwoo.)_

_“Is she always like that?”_

_“Like what?”_

_“I don’t know. In your face. Wanting to know your every move,” Jiwoo bit her lip, glad Jungeun couldn’t see her._

_“She’s my bodyguard. It’s her job.”_

_“So she goes everywhere you go?”_

_Jungeun didn’t miss the lift in Jiwoo’s voice asking that question._

_“Does it matter if she did?”_

_“No.”_

_Jungeun didn’t miss the quick response either._

_She looked back at her guard. She wondered if she was hurt for betraying her. For putting all those years of hard work to waste. Thankfully, she wasn’t removed from the staff. (Jungeun wouldn’t allow it.)_

_Then she looked - metaphorically - at her new friend behind the castle walls and picked up how her voice rose an octave when talking about the young knight._

_She couldn’t marry for love but maybe she could help two people live out that dream for her._

\---

For the first time, Jinsol was more muscular than she was.

She had to be.

Sooyoung wasn’t a knight anymore.

Taking another swig of her beer, the two of them looked over the balcony at the dwindling guests below. Their wives had run off after their daughters and knowing they were capable of fixing the situation by themselves, they caught up.

Or attempted to.

Sooyoung was a bit terrified of this new version of Jinsol.

Many rumors surrounded the new wolf hunter Queen and her right hand Hyunjin. Sooyoung couldn’t believe it at first. Jinsol teared up when she accidentally hit Jungeun with a single french fry.

But when Jiwoo and her walked past the entrails of a slain wolf, recognizing a voice a few meters away, more concerned for Hyunjin's wellbeing than the slain animal, it had to be true. Jinsol didn’t even bother giving the wolf a proper burial and they didn’t bother giving a proper hello.

Not when Jinsol was so proud of her kill.

And Sooyoung didn’t know how she could still be a friend of someone who would do that to her daughter’s kind.

\---

_“Princess Jungeun said it was crucial that I do this.”_

_Behind an assorted bouquet of flowers, Sooyoung smiled widely. Behind her, the other (less important) knights were organizing the new furniture and beddings for Jiwoo’s house._

_If one could call it that._

_It was more of a shack._

_But Sooyoung was glad to know where Jiwoo grew up._

_(Especially since it simulated her previous living conditions)._

_Sooyoung wasn’t sure why she needed to deliver the thank you gifts but Jungeun insisted - more like threatened - she do so. She argued that that would provide an opening for the princess to escape but Jungeun promised she would be spending the day with her mothers._

_Bitterly adding that she had to as she was to be married in less than a year._

_Jiwoo was glad there was a ruckus outside as the image of Sooyoung at her doorstep with flowers was causing a strange reaction within her. (Unlike Sooyoung, she knew exactly what that feeling was.) Glancing outside, she could see her mother admire the many gifts and her father attempt to spin one of their new tables on one finger._

_“Onew, put that down!” Luna gasped._

_Jiwoo turned her attention to the girl and her flowers._

_They were from the Kim castle._

_Since Sooyoung was an employee and resident of the Kim castle, Jiwoo could pretend her knight-in-shining armor was at her doorstep with flowers._

\---

Hyejoo looked up at the partial moon in the dark night sky. In her years of healing, the moon and her became the best of friends. It was imperative she knew everything about it so she could understand her new self better. But she was ready for more friends.

Especially if one of them was the birthday celebrant.

Who was standing on the farthest side of the balcony, waiting if she should speak first.

Chaewon storming out - when Hyejoo looked back on it, it was kind of adorable - was warranted. Keeping her eyes trained on the moon, she wasn’t sure if Chaewon would like it if she looked at her.

Last time their eyes met, Chaewon left and Hyejoo almost broke down in tears.

Beside her, the girl was using the same tactic.

Chaewon knew if their eyes met, she would break. Those deeply buried feelings of longing, of hope, of hatred, or of guilt would bubble up to the surface and Hyejoo needed to ease into her stay here no matter how long it was.

She hoped it would be much longer than her last one.

“I thought you were dead.”

Hyejoo forced herself to listen.

“All Hyunjin could find was that carriage. And her parents. And they were dead. She was a mess. So was Yerim. Remember her? But you and your moms. You were gone. My mom,” Chaewon smiled bittersweetly. “She did everything she could to find you.”

Even if that attack jump started the new arrangement between her mothers, it gave Jinsol a chance to show the world her power and strength - something she couldn’t do sitting pretty on a throne.

Hyejoo knew about Jinsol’s search party and how kingdoms lauded her valiant efforts to stop the attacks once and for all.

(She also knew Jinsol would not hesitate to stick a lance in her skull.)

Before Hyejoo could begin her apology, Chaewon switched saddles.

“I think I’m magical..”

Hyejoo was unsure if she heard Chaewon right.

“I wished my mom would return and she showed up with a rapid fire crossbow. And I wished for my friends and family to have a good time tonight. If you erase my mom passing out, it worked well.”

Chaewon was facing her now, tears falling freely.

“And every year I wish you would return.”

Chaewon was in front of her face.

“And you did.”

Hyejoo should get a medal for how long she was holding this staring contest.

“Whoever granted that wish must have been sleeping on the job,” Hyejoo looked back at the moon if Chaewon didn’t appreciate her humor.

“Well I’m glad they woke up,” Chaewon giggled.

“You should see my mothers wake up. Scary,” Hyejoo resisted the urge to high-five herself at Chaewon’s change in expression.

“Mine too.”

“Did they hurt you?”

“Why would your mother…”

“No not my mother. The wolves.” Chaewon was less subtle than Jinsol checking for wolf markings and surveyed all the skin she could see on Hyejoo, encircling her.

(Luckily for her, Chaewon would not be able to locate it during this screening.)

With Hyejoo’s arms lifted high in the air, Chaewon investigated every centimeter of skin Hyejoo’s outfit revealed. If anyone passed by the balcony, they weren’t sure how to explain this ritual.

“They did..,” Hyejoo replied honestly.

Some things she couldn’t trust Chaewon with her yet so she had to be honest where it counted.

Chaewon’s eyes narrowed into slits at the thought of someone - something - hurting Hyejoo.

(A look Hyejoo hoped to never see on Jinsol’s face.)

“But I’m better now,” Hyejoo sighed, meaning more ways than her physical recovery.

  
**NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: NEW MOON**  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Harvest Moon everyone!
> 
> Q (ourtuneissohigh): And now the real story begins. Comments and support much appreciated. Thanks for all the kudos and comments so far. Endgames are set but lots of drama to come. (P.S. Lipsoul is my fave which means they'll maybe suffer the most...unless N tells me to reel it in again. If I didn't have them, this story would be much more tragic) [Twitter](https://twitter.com/0TlSH)
> 
> N (LazyNinja): Thank you for reading and hope you'll continue enjoying the story. Please leave any comments on your thoughts about this chapter and what you hope to see in future chapters? Viseul are my favorite losers in the story. [ Twitter](https://twitter.com/_LazyNinja_)


	4. Hi High

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****
> 
> **Format as follows:**
> 
> _Italics: Past_  
  
Straight (but really gay): Present  

> 
>   


“Aim for her head.”

Chaewon closed one eye and did so.

Vivi sighed softly as another paper ball bounced off the back of her head. Her students were waiting for her to finish diagramming on the chalkboard so they were told to wait.

But this group of students could never just sit silently in their seats.

Turning around with a good guess to who it was - the only other person with comparable aim was out with Jinsol per usual on a job - she was met with a Renaissance painting.

Yeojin, leaning back with her hands behind her head, treated the plain ceiling as the most fascinating part of the room. Yerim was waving through the windows to a group of pigeons perched on the windowsill, baby-talking them. Heejin - who was past the age of school but loved being around her friends - was hyperventilating into the collar of her blouse when she saw what Yerim was cooing at. Chaewon was thumbing through her sheet music even though Vivi didn’t teach any music courses.

But Vivi knew the kids adored her.

Coming from a Western kingdom, Vivi was equipped with knowledge far beyond the Eastern’s current lexicon. It was part of why the Kim kingdom, and then the Jung kingdom, kept her on staff for so long. Besides her expertise in medicine, she was one of the few that firmly protested the possible expulsion of Jungeun.

The Kim kingdom didn’t want to risk maybe housing a werewolf. Vivi fought a good fight - being the only one brave enough to stay with Jungeun the first full moon since her attack.

(Besides coming from a far away land, her familial ties made her an expert in certain fields that people wouldn’t understand yet.)

So the students absorbed her every word.

(Unlike Haseul who struggled keeping all of them in their seats.)

“Does anyone know why we have a nervous system?” Vivi turned her back to finish the rest of her body diagram.

“Because we’re always nervous around cute girls,” Chaewon joked.

“Speak for yourself,” Yeojin retorted.

“You of all people should not be disagreeing with that,” Heejin said through her blouse.

Vivi shook her head as they argued who had the most guts among them - “Weren’t you paying attention to Teacher Vivi, we have the same amount of guts” - and started labelling, knowing she wouldn’t be able to get them to behave and copy it down unless she was completely out of the way.

She held in a smile as a familiar humming graced the corridors.

Haseul peeked into the lesson. She wanted to see how the students were getting on.

(No she didn’t.)

And Vivi happened to be teaching today.

(There were only two teachers in the castle.)

Seeing Yeojin and Chaewon rolling up loose leaf parchment into small balls on their laps and the collection of balls laying around Vivi’s teaching space, Haseul was scandalized.

Snatching the ammunition off the girls’ laps, she glared at the two. If Vivi wasn’t going to call them out, as honorary co-teacher, she would.

But not before Yeojin smuggled one last ball and took one last shot.

Vivi turned around, having finished the drawing moments ago but grew shy when she heard Haseul enter the room. Rubbing the back of her neck in faux pain, she looked for the culprit. The students, knowing they had no physical evidence pointed at Haseul. (Even Heejin joined in, Yerim lifting her hand and making her point her index finger while she hid behind her clothes.)

Haseul, with an armful of paper balls, let out a shy smile at the semi-annoyed anatomy teacher.

\---

_This couldn’t be._

_The knight-in-training recklessly leapt off her horse - skidding on her face, a gash opening on her forehead - as she surveyed the damage of the royal carriage. She was breaking protocol, having ridden ahead of her cohort. But her family was out there and she would face the consequences later._

_All wheels broken off and what was left of the horses scattered across the road, she didn’t think she could stomach what happened to its riders._

_But she was trained to look into incidents like this._

_Trembling and bleeding from her forehead, she opened the carriage doors - easy as only one hinge remained - expecting the occupants to be in the same condition as the horses._

_No bodies._

_Blood splattered everywhere._

_Scratches up the seat._

_A cloak._

_The queens’ hearts were going to weep when she had to deliver the news._

_And so was hers._

_Underneath the overturned carriage, she saw two very familiar pairs of royal guard boot clad feet. It was sinful to think about but she hoped it was the Ha family instead._

_“MOM?! DAD?!” Hyunjin shrieked, using all her willpower to lift the carriage._

_She shouldn’t have danced so hard at the party. She should have preserved her strength. She should have eaten more. Why was she so weak?!_

_“Hyun?” A shaky voice called out._

_Her mother._

_“The Has, did they make i…”_

_“I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE HAS!” Hyunjin gritted her teeth, trying to lift the carriage. Her mother should be conserving her strength, not talking. No more talking._

_Where was Knight Sooyoung? Where was the follow up team of knights that should have been behind her?_

_(It was later Hyunjin would let go of her hatred for Sooyoung, knowing she had to protect her family first. By knight logic, she was a knight of the Kim kingdom and her family were its residents.)_

_But Hyunjin wasn’t strong enough._

_She was merely a teenager._

_A knight-in-training._

_By the time Hyunjin lifted the carriage off, panting and in pain, her parents would be casualties of this attack._

\---

“Kind of like old times huh?”

“Except without a wall to seperate us?”

Jungeun and Jiwoo strolled the Jung gardens arm-in-arm. Hyejoo volunteered to look after the stall today so Jiwoo could catch up with her best friend. The two mothers were busy sorting out their daughters’ drama the night before and Hyejoo felt bad.

(So did Chaewon.)

Jiwoo spoke at a thousand words per minute but Jungeun caught onto key phrases.

Sooyoung and her were resetting their lives after holding seasonal jobs over the years among the different kingdoms. Park. Choi. Liu. Moon. Im. Shin. Kwon.

And now - hopefully and permanently - Jung.

They were all badly injured from the wolf attack, Hyejoo suffering an almost-death.

Jungeun didn’t know why they didn’t come to them. Vivi helped her after her attack and besides a few nightmares and blackouts, she was fine.

(Was she though?)

The scars on her back long since faded to faint white lines. Something Jinsol loved tracing her fingers up after a night together.

(That was not the case the first few times they slept next to each other.)

“So Vivi and Haseul are teachers too?”

“We had staff cuts after the…”

“Oh,” Jiwoo understand.

All the kingdoms were grasping for help after the ambush. Forfeiting money for the arts and other departments for stronger fortification. Setting up curfews. Random checks on residents that behaved erratically. Long drawn citizenship paperwork. Some implemented identification cards all residents had to carry at all times.

Sooyoung and her got by with all the changes but she knew all kingdoms suffered. From what Jungeun was telling her - and not telling her - her time with Jinsol was limited due to her growing responsibilities to eradicate the cause of their problems.

“Perhaps Hyejoo would like to join…”

“Join?”

“Chaewon! At school! They can be schoolmates!”

Jiwoo laughed at Jungeun jumping up and down. A stark contrast to Jungeun the night before.

Hyejoo didn’t experience a normal childhood. Not only did Sooyoung and Jiwoo struggle in affording lessons for Hyejoo to get a decent education, Hyejoo wasn’t physically or emotionally ready to be a student. An incident at getting angry with a teacher and her breaking the school’s doors down meant Hyejoo was homeschooled from then on.

(It was Hyejoo who begged to stay home, scared of what she could become.)

But with work, they couldn’t teach Hyejoo everything.

She wasn’t even sure if Hyejoo remembered how to read.

“She’d be a bit behind…”

“Vivi and Haseul would accommodate. Heejin, Yerim, and Yeojin all go. Sometimes Hyunjin. Hyejoo’s met all of them. Oh Jiwoo, it’ll be like we imagined. Our kids growing up together.”

Jiwoo was sorry they couldn’t follow through on that. Chaewon was already eighteen. They weren’t kids anymore. But the hopeful look in Jungeun’s eyes were too hard to ignore

“So Chaewon won’t be lonely.”

Jiwoo needed to make up for those years. She couldn’t disappoint Jungeun again.

“I’ll ask Sooyoung and Hyejoo.”

(Chaewon wasn’t lonely. Jiwoo knew Jungeun really meant herself in her last statement.)

\---

_ **WELCOME HOME** _

_“I really like your penmanship,” Haseul complimented Vivi as she strung up the banner._

_Vivi blushed at the compliment but before she could voice her gratitude, a beet red Haseul ran off._

_Jinsol, Taeyang, and little Hyunjin had embarked on a fifteen day mission to the borders of what the kingdoms had collectively named “Exoland” - where it was rumored most werewolves resided. No one really knew. It was far from civilization, in the high north of the cold mountains and no one wanted to risk proving the rumors right._

_Jungeun was holding her breath the entire time she was gone._

_(So was Jinsol.)_

_But Jinsol promised she wouldn’t venture out for the next few months if she came back in one piece._

_Heejin, Yerim, and Chaewon screamed at the sound of hooves outside. _

_“THEY…”_

_“ARE…”_

_“HOME!”_

_Jungeun shook her head, her heart finally calm as she followed the girls outside._

_Hyunjin all but toppled over when Yerim and Heejin jumped on top of her._

_Jinsol laughed and patted the pouting Taeyang’s back as he was expecting the first hug from his daughter. But this was Hyunjin’s first trip as a knight candidate - even if she was told to stay in the carriage for a majority of it._

_Hyorin compensated by greeting her husband with a kiss as Yerim and Heejin bickered._

_“I missed you Hyun!”_

_“I missed her more!”_

_Hyunjin closed her eyes and let her two favorite girls fight over her. She needed a nap, a bath, and bread._

_“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!”_

_Jinsol was more prepared than Hyunjin as she caught Chaewon mid-jump, smothering the girl with kisses. Chaewon’s loud giggles echoed throughout the castle, making everyone’s heart soar._

_“Come on, I can catch you too,” Jinsol stretched one arm, balancing Chaewon on her side, signalling Jungeun to jump into her arms too._

_Jungeun rolled her eyes and joined her family even if she did want to take Jinsol up on her offer._

\---

Jinsol and Hyunjin thanked their servers as they left the busy diner. They walked towards their horses, ignoring their fans.

Yes, the royal family and knights had gathered quite the following over the years.

“She’s taller than I thought she’d be.”

“Did you figure out her real height?”

“Forget height, look at their jawlines.”

They returned to the conversation they were having inside, waiting until they were out of hearing range.

Ha Sooyoung was their topic of interest the whole trip.

The former seneschal of the Kim kingdom.

From what they knew, Sooyoung was honorably discharged. The Kim’s stableboy opened the castle gates and found Sooyoung’s crest hastily wrapped in parchment with a small note apologizing for leaving the armed guards. People dismissed it as a prank as Sooyoung, Jiwoo, and Hyejoo were declared missing - and most already believed they were dead.

Jinsol wondered if Sooyoung would be on this journey with them.

She adored Hyunjin like her own daughter but there was an age difference between them. She wasn’t comfortable telling Hyunjin all that was on her mind. She wanted the young woman to not have the same adult stresses that she did.

Like how she was missing her wife and daughter dearly. Since Jungeun’s fainting spell a few days ago, all she could think about was Jungeun and Chaewon. But when was she not thinking about them?

While Sooyoung was impressive on the front lines, Hyunjin possessed an edge over her. Her reflexes the sharpest in the land. Her tracking skills unbeatable. Her speed could use some work but it was still fast. Hyunjin was always the first to volunteer for all jobs. Head Knight Minho, who was patrolling the markets instead, couldn’t hold a sword to her dedication.

“You may head back to the castle now, aunt...Your Majesty,” Hyunjin forgot she was still in public. 

“What about you?” Jinsol furrowed her eyebrows.

Wasn’t Hyunjin tired?

“I have things to catch up on.”

Hyunjin saluted and rode off.

\---

_Hyunjin winced as Vivi rubbed a damp towel on her forehead._

_“What is that?”_

_“Liquor.”_

_“On a wound?!”_

_“Trust me, it’s to sterilize,” Vivi said, quickening her pace so Hyunjin didn’t have to suffer any longer._

_She had suffered the most out of this. When Jinsol rode out with some knights they requested Vivi to join them - Vivi luckily remembering how to ride a horse and even riding ahead - Jinsol found Hyunjin crying over Taeyang and Hyorin’s bodies. She begged them to be careful transporting their bodies back to the Jung kingdom cemetery._

_She also begged Vivi to do something - anything - to revive them._

_But Vivi’s medical skills (and powers) could only do so much._

_Wrapping a bandage around Hyunjin’s forehead, Vivi tried not to react to the tears streaming down the teenager’s face. It wasn’t because of the alcohol. Hyunjin’s pain tolerance was high._

_Hyunjin couldn’t believe they were gone. They were the strongest people she had ever known._

_She wouldn’t know what happened unless she asked the Has but she didn’t even know if they made it out alive. From the bloodbath she saw, she would be surprised if they did._

_Knowing her parents’ selflessness - it’s why they were good knights - she knew they would have told the Has to find refuge._

_Not to call for help for them._

_Because that wasn’t something her parents would do._

_As knights, they sacrificed themselves for lives that weren’t guaranteed to live. If it was Yerim and Hyunjin in that carriage, her parents would tell them to save themselves._

_She saw their wounds. Taeyang was more than capable of lifting the carriage and getting help for his wife but stayed put. By the time Hyunjin reached them, he had lost too much blood to carry his own weight._

_For what?_

_To spend their last waking moments together._

_It was selfish and selfless._

_The knight-in-training didn’t ever want to be faced with a decision like that._

\---

Hyunjin clicked her tongue a fourteenth time.

If Yerim was here, the horse would’ve been resting by now. Her sister was better at getting animals to do what she wanted.

“Allow me.”

Heejin let out a Brrrrrrrrrrrr-aaaaaaa and the horse followed her into the stable.

Hyunjin felt more comfortable waiting outside, listening to Heejin leading the horse into its stall. She didn’t have to wait but it was dark outside. It was her duty to protect the castle residents at all times.

She was responsible for Heejin.

Because she was part of the Jung castle hold.

But it had been more than five minutes and Heejin wasn’t making a noise. Snatching her lamp, she ran inside, seeing the younger woman brushing her horse’s hair mane.

Heejin must’ve been spending a lot of time with Yerim as she was trying to have a conversation with it.

Hyunjin realized that she had been caught worrying.

No, not worrying, doing her duty.

“What did I miss in class?”

“Body systems. Rain cycles. Ballroom dancing.”

“Ballroom dancing?”

“Chaewon’s suggestion.”

Hyunjin and Heejin laughed lightly, recounting Chaewon’s dizzying adventures on the dance floor on her birthday but as their eyes met, their giggles died down.

(So did the fluttering in their chests.)

It had been a while since they laughed in the same room together. They couldn’t recount the last time it was just the two of them.

“I’m sorry…”

Heejin suppressed looking too eager.

“I keep using you to catch up on my studies.”

Heejin should’ve known better.

“Well, I wasn’t in class this afternoon.”

Heejin wanted to slap herself for her bitter tone. This was most Hyunjin has said to her that didn’t involved taking turns in the washrooms, turning off the corridor lamps, or passing the bread basket during meal times.

“Why not?”

Hyunjin was hurt that Heejin eyes were looking everywhere but at her.

This was for the best though, wasn’t it?

“I have a real job now and it’s important.. Maybe not as important as being a knight but--”

Heejin was officially the head cook - Haseul and Vivi helped - but she shared responsibility for all the cooking related chores in the castle. Heejin knew she shouldn’t argue but her moments with Hyunjin were so short. She didn’t want Hyunjin to not know what was bothering her. Her and Jungeun were the same.

She too counted down the days Hyunjin would return.

But unlike before, she didn’t jump into the seneschal’s arms when her calendar hit zero.

(Neither did Jungeun.)

“No, no, it is a very important job Heejin. You’ve done well.” Hyunjin praised in a soft tone, “I think your parents would be proud.”

Heejin stood still at the unexpected words. They had lifted her spirits even if they weren’t quite what she had longed to hear from the taller woman. 

(I’m proud of you.)

\---

_Minho slammed the raging woman against the wall of the building. She made a fool of him in there. Of all of them._

_And worst, the Jung kingdom._

_Hyunjin was only a knight for one month and she would lose it all from this scene. She could still hear the bartender trying to calm everyone down inside. He already lost half his patrons to fear. _

_She let Minho push her against the wall as it was helping her calm down._

_The adrenaline was still coursing through her veins._

_On the ground, the victim of her attack - which she stood by when Minho relayed the details of the assault - writhed in pain._

_Minho knew he deserved it but Hyunjin was a representative of the castle and the entirety of the kingdom. He didn’t want all her efforts to go to waste because of one night._

_She felt the blood dripping down her knuckles._

_Was it hers?_

_Blinking away the dull throbbing in her body, Hyunjin’s vision cleared up slowly._

_She was outside the pub, surrounded by her comrades. Some had their swords drawn and pointed at her. Not the victim grunting beneath them._

_What had happened in there?_

_Behind them, Haseul held her coat close, disregarding the strong whiskey scent, terrified of the woman she helped raise._

\---

“What does that say?”

“Ovaries.”

“Over who? Who’s Yves?”

“Just take it,” Yerim pushed her paper into Yeojin’s lap.

Yerim stifled her giggle as Yeojin tried to decipher their anatomy homework. Turning her head, she fought a yawn and finished her breakfast.

She had stayed up waiting for her sister’s return.

(Also keeping a countdown of her own.)

Heejin came in a little before midnight, sounding a little congested. It was getting colder outside so maybe she was catching a fever. But Hyunjin trudged in before the sun rose. Unlike Jungeun and Heejin, Yerim hadn’t outgrown the “jumping into their arms” welcome ceremony. Hyunjin appreciated the warm welcome from her favorite person.

Yeojin caught the yawn from the younger sister, letting the ink drip onto the table. “Not enough sleep?”

“Nope.”

"Stomach okay?" 

Yerim smiled.

It was rare when sweet Yeojin came out but it was - don’t tell Yeojin - rather adorable.

“Because if those Jungs are overworking you, I’m going to beat…”

And it was gone.

“You are not beating up anyone. If you knocked out the Jungs, we’d be unemployed.”

“Oh, right.”

\---

_Jungeun screamed in frustration but her wife wouldn’t console her._

_Because Jinsol too echoed the same scream in the other throne._

_Staff cuts and budget reductions._

_These meetings were annual and usually the queens were prepared for them. But this was instigated by an emergency._

_Crops were ruined._

_Houses were ransacked._

_Families were broken._

_Friends were missing._

_And Jungeun and Jinsol were required to cut the staff to pay for the damages and to increase security around the borders. They also personally decided that they would pay for all the funerals in their kingdom._

_But the staff was comprised of people they loved. These were people that didn’t paint them as queens but as someone to tell secrets to, to have food fights with, to hide their socks around the castle for fun._

_They were family._

_“I don’t want to lose anymore people,” Jungeun sobbed._

_Even if Jinsol was a mess, she couldn’t let Jungeun cry like this and took her into her arms. But Jungeun protested, wanting to ease Jinsol’s pain too._

_They lost their best knights._

_And their best friends._

_And who could’ve been Chaewon’s best friend._

_Vivi and Haseul found them the next day, sleeping in each other’s arms on Jungeun’s throne._

\--

Haseul didn’t need to assign homework. Educational merit varied kingdom to kingdom but it kept the kids - notably Yeojin who chose when to do homework based on mood - out of trouble.

It would be their last homework assignment in a while anyway.

Today, a new student would be joining them.

Ha Hyejoo.

She didn’t want to overwhelm her.

Straightening up the reading room - finding three more paper balls, one lubricated with who-knows-what - she wanted to make a good impression on the new girl.

Hyejoo was a little over Yeojin’s age so she wasn’t sure what to expect.

Hearing the door creak open, Haseul plastered a welcoming smile on her face.

“Welc….JIWOO!”

The two met for a long hug, not much longer than the one they shared at Chaewon’s party. Hyejoo was capable of walking to the castle on her own so this was a pleasant surprise. Maybe she was visiting Jungeun.

(Haseul hoped she was visiting Jungeun. The more people surrounding her, the better.)

“What brings you here?”

“I was just around the castle.”

Haseul raised an eyebrow. She knew a lie when she saw one.

Her sister made her an expert.

“I can assure you that Hyejoo is in good hands.”

Haseul was amused.

If Hyejoo was younger, this parent-teacher conference would be understandable but she was almost an adult. These classes were more than anything a way to keep the kids up-to-date with current events and knowledgeable about anything and everything. Only three of them needed schooling but the oldest stayed out of habit.

“Maybe you can update me with Hyejoo’s educational background. I know a few of the teachers in the nearby kingdoms.”

“She doesn’t really have...one,” Jiwoo sucked her lips in. “I’m sorry. This is a mistake. I shouldn’t have—”

“Jiwoo, wait,” Haseul reached out for Jiwoo to take her hand. “No one’s going to care what she does or doesn’t know. Just because this is a higher schooling than the rudimentary levels, it’s not any more different than other approaches to learning.”

The class was made up of troublemakers for certain but they’d never intentionally bully someone based off of something as meaningless as literacy or mathematics. They were important skills to have but they were all raised in a way that taught them not to discriminate.

Haseul was the punchline of most of their jokes anyways.

Jiwoo nodded in understanding.

(She didn’t know how to read until after she met Jungeun and the princess never looked at her differently because of it. Neither did Haseul and Jinsol when she moved to the kingdom.)

“She could read. She used to read Sooyoung’s handbook and the price lists at the market religiously. We don’t have much reading material anymore so she is rusty.. All she knows is what Sooyoung and I have lived through. And we tell her about it,” Jiwoo supplemented, trying to help Haseul make the experience comfortable for her.

Her meaning Hyejoo.

But Jiwoo could use some comfort as well.

“So stories,” Haseul summarized. “Jiwoo, what else do you think fills these books?”

Vivi would slap her if she knew what she was saying. It took days before Hyunjin could differentiate “fact” from “storytelling.”

“All of these things we learn are compiled from stories. We know if I throw this book up, it’ll come down. And many more stories or as Vivi would say, experiments, point to that happening. You just told her rather than having her read it in a book.”

Jiwoo was happy Jungeun and Jinsol kept Haseul on staff.

Hyejoo was in good hands.

\---

_“That doesn’t make any sense.”_

_“Yes it’s true. It was in the newsletter,” Haseul whispered._

_But Jinsol didn’t argue back, more interested in the koi fish in the pond. Teacher Tiffany was rambling about something she could care less about._

_She could care less about her existence too._

_Haseul sensed Jinsol’s hatred towards their instructor. Unlike Jinsol’s notepad, hers was full of lecture notes. Even Jinsol didn’t have her usual aquatic doodles lining the sides. Haseul knew not to comment on it. Right now, she was defending her current predicament._

_“There’s no such thing as a weather curse.”_

_Or maybe Jinsol was not spacing out. Her expression begged to differ._

_(That’s just how her resting face is.)_

_“And even if there was, why should that stop you from following your parents?” Jinsol said._

_Yongguk and Minzy, Haseul’s father and mother, were joining a music festival in the Im kingdom soon. Jinsol wanted to attend but Hyoyeon and Jessica were fighting - as usual - so she didn’t bother asking them._

_She wanted Haseul to go in her place but she kept making excuses not to live out her dreams. Her as in Jinsol. But it could’ve been Haseul’s dream too. What’s the worse a weather curse could do anyway? Haseul was a perfectly healthy human being without a hex on her. Only a fool would curse her._

_“Jung Jinsol, are you paying attention to me?” Tiffany shrilled._

_“No.”_

_(Jinsol didn’t know how she was going to continue taking lessons from this harlot.)_

_“I’m asking what are a few tactics this kingdom has used to fight werewolves.”_

_“I don’t know, a weather curse?”_

_Haseul scoffed._

_Jinsol sneered._

_Tiffany huffed. The princess used to like her and she tried to make up for whatever she was angry about by having class outside. Her efforts were futile though and would be moving forward._

_Tiffany dismissed class early that day._

\---

Hyejoo was kind of glad people were still afraid to be outside so no one would see the scene.

Her mother was blowing her nose into her handkerchief, snot and tears flowing down her face. 

Jiwoo rolled her eyes at her wife’s theatrics.

They were accompanying Hyejoo to school, wanting to commemorate the moment. Hyejoo wouldn’t be surprised if they hired a portrait artist to paint them outside the castle walls with her new parchment and quills.

“Hyejoo, welcome back,” Vivi beamed from her crouched position on the castle lawn.

Dropping her garden shears, she greeted the Ha family warmly.

“I was here last week.”

Vivi could sense Hyejoo wanted to escape her parents’ overly emphasized first day of school goodbye - she could hear Sooyoung wailing behind the castle gate - so offered to walk the girl up herself.

Sooyoung and Jiwoo were right. Hyejoo had healed well. If she was attacked by a wolf, you wouldn’t have noticed.

(But Vivi knew better.)

Hyejoo groaned. Her mothers weren’t budging when Vivi turned her towards the castle.

“Sweetheart, have a good day at school.”

“Okay Mom.”

“We’re proud of you!”

“Alright Mom.”

“We love you!”

“Aunt Vivi, may we please walk faster?” 

\---

_“The mobius strip...” Teacher Jaden droned on._

_But Chaewon had lost track of what he was talking about thirteen seconds into the lesson._

_Jinsol beat her at twelve._

_To encourage Chaewon to attend class more, Jinsol had joined her. She took notes with Chaewon, drew with Chaewon, and even did fingerprint art that they showed Jungeun with huge smiles on their faces._

_(Chaewon’s smile was more of a threat to get Jinsol away from her.)_

_But Jinsol understood why Chaewon was constantly skipping classes and even declared to drop out. Jaden didn’t really know Chaewon._

_He only visited two to three times a week and taught her things he thought she should know._

_Apparently, quantum physics was it._

_English classes were paying off though._

_(When they presented their skills to Jungeun and the rest of the castle at dinner - “Blonde baby unit.” “Oh my god thank you” - they earned a round of applause.)_

_Jinsol thought back to her conversation with Jungeun the night before - and internally smiled at the activities that followed after._

_Today they’d present the final staff roster to turn into the financial affairs board. And the more she sat listening to this man talk about some sort of space-time condiment, Jinsol couldn’t agree more that Chaewon needed teachers that cared for her._

_Teachers that have witnessed her mistakes and accomplishments growing up. Teachers that knew her ticks and interests._

_When Jungeun suggested Haseul and Vivi, Jinsol couldn’t have fallen more in love with her wife._

\---

“Sorry we’re late Teacher Haseul,” Hyunjin and Yeojin parroted, sweaty from their knight conditioning. Hyunjin didn’t need it, being the most in-shape knight of this generation, but she needed to run off some steam. Yeojin needed someone to carry her through the ropes course. She wouldn’t be joining the new training cohort because she refused to camp in the winter but she still needed to stay in shape.

Yeojin crumbled next to Chaewon, using her last bit of energy to smiling cheesily at the princess.

Yerim was only a little disappointed. They were getting along so great that morning before breakfast but sharing homework and fears of losing one’s job didn’t constitute a permanent seat beside her it seems.

She cheered up when her older sister took a seat beside her.

It was Heejin’s turn to be disappointed.

“As you all know, we have a new student joining us.”

“Does this person have ovaries?”

“Pardon?”

“Yeojin’s asking if this person is a girl. You know, to get her nervous system going?”

“I heard that!”

“Oh yeah and what body system helped you there?”

“The ear system obviously!”

“Not every person with ovaries is a girl or wants to be. Didn’t Teacher Vivi’s gender studies lesson teach you—“

“HYEJOO!”

All heads whipped towards the entrance where a nervous girl was standing, gripping her portfolio tightly. Chaewon bit her lip, recognizing that death grip around her favorite stuffed animal. She didn’t know if the Has would take her mother’s offer, not knowing their personalities at all. But them going to school together - and hopefully for her mother’s sake, Hyejoo’s parents visiting more - they’d finally get to learn from each other.

Vivi gave Hyejoo a gentle push through the doorway, winking at Haseul to take over.

(Haseul’s respiratory system somehow stopped working.)

Hyejoo apologized for being late, Haseul waving her off immediately, and took the empty seat next to Heejin who greeted her brightly.

It was Hyunjin’s turn to be disappointed.

“So who wants to read their assignment first? I would like two volunteers. Hyejoo don’t worry, you can just listen to see what we’re learning now.”

Hyejoo nodded and gave Chaewon a small wave from her seat. She kept her ears open but used the time to scope where’d she’d be given a proper education. The vaulted ceilings, glass-stained windows, and expansive collection of books lining the walls were very different from rooms she’s been in before.

“I want to read Teacher Haseul. And I think Yeojin should read next,” Yerim smiled coyly.

By Yeojin’s logic, her nervous system was definitely working now.  


  


**NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: FIRST QUARTER MOON**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q (ourtuneisohigh): This chapter without much Lipsoul was excruciating to write but I did this to them so I will suffer. Thanks for reading everyone and let us know your thoughts. [Twitter](https://twitter.com/0TlSH)
> 
> N (LazyNinja): Wow did you see those Viseul moments? No? Well try reading it again, I try hard to get them included TT Thanks for the kudos, we hope you are getting invested into the story :D [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_LazyNinja_) | [CC](https://curiouscat.me/_LazyNinja_)


	5. Love & Evil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****
> 
> **Format as follows:**
> 
> _Italics: Past_  
  
Straight (but really gay): Present  

> 
>   


_She once again forgot how low her door frame was, almost knocking herself unconscious. Spending months at a training camp with no manmade ceilings could do that to you._

_Brushing off her clumsy entrance, Sooyoung melted seeing her parents doing their usual thing._

_Sunmi had Taemin in a chokehold for forgetting something at the market._

_Sooyoung hoped that with her new endeavor, they wouldn’t have to worry about forgetting something ever. It was time she provided for her family. A tailor and an insect exterminator - a rumor going around that Taemin ate them - didn’t make much money depending on the season._

_“Hey sweetheart,” Taemin retched._

_“Hello honey,” Sunmi greeted, not using their daughter’s entrance to stop her husband’s punishment. “How did it go?”_

_“I think I’m a good candidate. I hope they’ll keep me in this kingdom though,” Sooyoung said, flopping onto one of their stools at the table._

_They only had one anyway._

_“We’re proud of you princess,” Taemin choked out, turning blue._

_Or maybe purple._

_The lighting in their small house wasn’t allowing Sooyoung to really color match his face. Very different from the brightness she got to train, live, and eat in._

_“Dad, I’m not there to be a princess,” Sooyoung stomped petulantly._

_She was still their little girl._

_“But princesses can maybe marry knights one day. You’ll be close to them,” Sunmi softened her look at her daughter._

_She was incredibly proud of her. Sooyoung grew up in humble conditions and she used that as inspiration for a better life. Sunmi hoped that she was doing it more for herself than for their wellbeing. Taemin - as annoying as he was - and her were doing just fine._

_“Like father, like daughter.”_

_“What was that?”_

_“I married a prin…cess.”_

_“Yeah nice try, I’m not letting go for another minute.”_

\---

Hyejoo groaned, pounding her head on their desk, almost knocking over their tiny oil lamp that illuminated the room. Catching it easily with her fast reflexes, Hyejoo returned to the task at hand.

Remembering how to write.

She approached Haseul during lunch hour to confess her lack of writing skills. Luckily, Heejin also joined her in her lack of note taking as she was snoring away at her desk. The smiling teacher forgave her and explained the notes were only a disciplinary action and no real examinations were administered there.

If there was a test - whenever Haseul and Vivi felt like they needed an hour of complete silence - Hyejoo was granted permission to orally answer questions.

At the end of the year, all students were given certifications that they were taught at the Jung castledom household no matter how much knowledge they retained.

Hyejoo didn’t think school classes would be so...fun.

From the Chaewon and Yeojin’s quips, Heejin’s interjections of certain facts reminding her of these illustrated novels she collected, Hyunjin slapping away Yerim tickling her with her quill, and Haseul being the most sweetest woman ever, Hyejoo’s day ended quickly.

She received pats on the backs - and a jumping hug from Chaewon - for joining.

(Something about her arrival getting rid of homework?)

“Homework already?”

“No, I think I forgot how to write.”

Neither of her parents’ temporary jobs needed much writing as a skill so she never picked up on it. She tried to copy the words in books she read but whenever she couldn’t quite get it, the book went flying across the room.

And the quill would be in pieces.

Sooyoung pouted.

They did try to provide a good future for Hyejoo but with all that’s happened, it flipped and fell on its back like how Jiwoo flipped Sooyoung those many years ago. She was a carpenter now, a demotion from her prestigious honor, but it put food on the table and Jiwoo didn’t worry about her safety as much.

Before she could apologize for her failure as a parent, Hyejoo gave her a smile before Sooyoung started crying. She already cried enough dropping her off to school. Her mother had nothing to be sorry for anyway.

Like everyone complimented, Hyejoo grew up well.

“Teach me?”

“Of course,” Sooyoung crouched next to the table, not bothering to take the space Hyejoo left for her on their wooden bench to write something.

It had been a while for her too. All she did nowadays was check marks and price markups.

“Ji...woo,” Hyejoo read. “Seriously, mom’s name?”

Sooyoung’s grin only grew - ignoring her daughter’s retching noises - as she finished off with a heart around her wife’s name.

\---

_Sooyoung laid down slowly in her bed, alarming one of her parents in the bed across from her._

_They couldn’t sleep since the princess was announced missing. They knew their daughter would beat herself up for it, knowing her job was to watch the princess at all times._

_“Sooyoung?”_

_“I’m fine Mom, just back pain,” Sooyoung groaned as she sunk into her mattress._

_“The prin…”_

_“We found her.”_

_Well, we didn’t._

_Someone else did._

_That someone else also humiliated her, thankfully with no one witnessing it._

_“That’s good, I’m glad she’s safe.”_

_“Hey Mom, metaphorically speaking if someone cute, objectively cute, ever flipped you onto your back, does that mean you offended them?”_

_Sooyoung grimaced as she heard her mother spring up from her bed. Sometimes Sunmi was too smart for her own good._

_Sunmi could see that her daughter was in pain. Maybe emotionally as well so she took it easy on her. Sooyoung wore her heart on her sleeve and it was definitely something she got from her snoring father._

_“You know when your father and I met, someone was flipped onto their back-”_

_“Oh no, Mom, please spare those details. I don’t need to know about Dad flipping you onto your back--”_

_“Actually it was me who did the flipping.”_

\---

Hyejoo blew out the lamp before climbing the ladder onto her bed.

Sooyoung had learned how to construct a bunk bed frame which made their tiny one-room home feel much more spacious. But Sooyoung was regretting it every time Hyejoo slammed her body down, threatening to crush her mother.

(Thankfully, Jiwoo’s existence prevented her from doing so.)

Also, Hyejoo loved not having to sleep next to her parents and their obnoxious displays of love anymore. She could now sleep fine without hearing her mothers whispering sweet - but still disgusting - things into each other’s ears.

Pulling out a small wooden contraption beneath her pillow, Hyejoo tried again to get the small metal ball into the hole. She won it in an arm wrestling match from the neighbor and she believed they called it a labyrinth puzzle box.

But before she could sink the ball in, her lower half was lifted in the air.

“If you don’t put that game away and go to sleep,” Sooyoung barked, kicking the bed above her. She had an early shift at the woodshop and her wife needed all the sleep she could get.

Jiwoo had come in about an hour ago, having had to close the stalls. With her farming background, she had gotten a job at the market as a merchant. She promised Sooyoung she would take it easy so no more working in the fields for Jiwoo.

(_And she brushed off Hyejoo’s apology for not helping her today._

_“I’m sorry Mom.”_

__

_“Hush, your only job now is to be a student.”_)

Jiwoo wouldn’t lie that Sooyoung’s muscles growing back from her new job didn’t attract her. As Sooyoung kicked the bed above her, she flexed her arms to lift herself up and Jiwoo felt herself blush.

She was happy that Jungeun still accepted her after all these years and gave Hyejoo this opportunity. It didn’t give back the years they missed out on but it gave Hyejoo a chance to reclaim some of the childhood she missed.

But that wasn’t all Jungeun offered.

Besides the scholarship, Jungeun had asked her to move in with them. With the economy stabilizing, Jungeun could offer them a steady salary. Jiwoo didn’t miss the guilt tripping that Haseul and Vivi already did so much. It would make Hyejoo’s commute shorter and she wouldn’t have to fear Sooyoung hammering her fingers off.

“Jiwoo, something on your mind?”

“I’m still thinking about Jungeun’s proposal.”

“Jungeun proposed? I thought we were married.”

“Oh you smooth talker.”

“Well you know me.”

“Oh gross Mom.” Hyejoo slammed her bunk with all her strength to get them to stop.

“You know what I meant. GO TO SLEEP HYEJOO! AND IF YOU MAKE THIS BED COLLAPSE, OH SO HELP ME!”

“And what do you think we should do? PUT THAT TOY AWAY! I’M SERIOUS YOU WILL CRUSH YOUR MOTHER AND I!”

“It’s an inviting idea. But what if they find out?”

The rattling stopped above them. It was a risky move coming back to the Jung kingdom. It was risky moving back to society overall. But they owed it to their friends who have been worried sick about them. A few hours with them wouldn’t make them suspicious but living under the same roof was a possible hazard.

They would wonder why Hyejoo was sick a few days a month.

Why she healed quickly.

Why her reflexes were sharp.

Why she could easily chew through an uncooked steak - Hyejoo wasn’t allowed to eat those anymore.

Someone - hopefully not Jinsol - would connect the dots.

“What do you think, Hyejoo?”

Both moms stared up at the bed above them.

Hyejoo didn’t want to hinder her moms’ friendships. They lost a lot because of her. Time they could never get back. She felt like she got enough control of it by now. She hasn’t destroyed any furniture since they moved in and that was admirable.

But she needed a bit more time.

“I think I should learn how to write first.”

\---

_“Dad, take my horse please!”_

_“But I can’t ride two at the same time?”_

_“No, just walk the other one!”_

_Sooyoung dismounted her steed and ran up to the lone traveler on the road. But she didn’t want to appear eager so slowed down when she was a few paces behind her._

_(But Jiwoo could hear the eager patter of her feet and held in a smile.)_

_“Knight Sooyoung, pleasure to see you again.”_

_“My fair lady,” Sooyoung bowed._

_“I’m not a fair lady,” Jiwoo corrected but Sooyoung didn’t respond. She was barely a “madam.”_

_They walked to the Kim castle in silence, listening to the birds and wind through the trees and Sooyoung’s father attempt to take two horses back to the stables. It was a comfortable silence, with Jiwoo sneaking a glance when Sooyoung wasn’t looking and Sooyoung doing the same (but Jiwoo knew when she was)._

_“I’m glad you got cleared to see the princess. She’s been missing you.”_

_“Oh?” Jiwoo was genuinely surprised. A few weeks ago and Jungeun didn’t have an inkling of her existence._

_Neither did Sooyoung._

_Before Sooyoung could elaborate, Jiwoo had gone off course._

_“Madam, the castle is this way…” but stopped herself short._

_Jiwoo was following a school of ducks, moving further and further away from the castle. Mimicking their way of walking, Jiwoo waddled behind them. When they stopped, so did she. She even waved at them when they looked back at her._

_Her laughter ringing through the bushes and her grin shining through the trees._

_Where did the princess find someone like her?_

_She was supposed to be at the castle by now but Sooyoung didn’t mind not following schedule for once._

\---

Sooyoung roamed the Jung castle alone, noting the renovations throughout the years. It wasn’t as imposing as she remembered but neither were the queens that resided there. More light streamed in than before and the darker paintings and tapestries were replaced with fresher brighter shades.

Business was slow today and she had finished all of the requests thus far. She was granted permission to close up shop early. Jiwoo was at work and Hyejoo at school so she decided to pay someone a visit.

She just wasn’t sure who that someone was yet.

Jungeun had let her in with a bone crushing hug but apologized as she had a few petitions to sign. But she was given permission - “you don’t need permission Sooyoung, this is like your other home” - to walk around freely.

What impressed her most was that the Jungs allowed space for paintings of the staff members.

During her time as knight, only paintings of the royal family and the knights were strung.

But a portrait of Chaewon, Hyunjin, Heejin, Yerim, and Yeojin making faces far removed from the tight-lipped smile they were allowed hung proudly in the foyer for all to see. They weren’t even sitting on the couch correctly, one sitting on its back with their legs choking whoever was sitting in front of her and the ones of the end dangling their legs off its sides. Heejin and Hyunjin failing spectacularly to make a heart with their bodies - one using her hand, the other her arm. Chaewon was making a V with her fingers .

She wondered if Hyejoo would’ve been up there with them.

“Impressive huh?”

Sooyoung jumped at the sudden voice.

Vivi.

They may not have grown up together, meeting when Vivi was just accepted the new previous castle physician position after shadowing her mothers there and when Sooyoung was given the job as the messenger girl, but Sooyoung still considered her a close childhood friend.

“What do you mean?” Sooyoung turned her back to the painting.

“Yeojin. That one right there. Kept sticking her tongue out long enough for the artist to capture it.”

“She was just a baby when we first moved,” Sooyoung reached over to trace the painting.

She was fortunate to witness Hyejoo growing up but she thought that she would have liked being able to see these girls grow up as well. Yerim and Hyunjin definitely shared a gene pool but they were on opposite sides of the happiness spectrum here. Heejin’s features were more prominent, growing out of her baby face and bearing more resemblance to her parents. Yeojin looked like the sweetest little angel, very similar to her sister.

Chaewon.

Chaewon was sporting a silly expression of her own, one eyebrow raised comically high, most likely copying Jinsol.

She didn’t even look like a princess as her garments were simplistic like the rest.

Jungeun and Jinsol were amazing parents as predicted.

“She still is in a way,” Vivi chided. “Shall we continue this in the kitchen?”

\---

_“I can coat a menthol solution on top...”_

_“Vivi, my back is just fine.”_

_Vivi shrugged, stowing away her medicinal kit. Sooyoung took a peek inside - seeing how it was much larger than the first aid kit in the knights’ wing. Bottles filled with colors she’s never seen or knew the name of. Different brushes and mixing devices and strainers. Some wand with a white and pink star prong on top._

_Where did Vivi get her medical training again?_

_“HAS SHE RETURNED?!”_

_The princess sucked up all the air in the room, having sprinted from the carriage door to the castle. She wasn’t familiar with the layout, colliding into every floor to ceiling window, thinking it was an entrance._

_She found herself in the kitchen with a staff member and a knight._

_Jinsol opened her mouth to introduce herself but her lungs were on fire. She held one finger out to signal for them to wait._

_Sooyoung met her briefly a couple days ago so resheathed her knife, not thinking she’d be meeting her again so soon before the wedding._

_Vivi didn’t even need to question her._

_The blonde hair was an indicator who she was._

_The Jung princess._

_Watching her open and close her mouth like a fish, the two Kim castle residents had their first impression of their princess’ suitor: Jung Jinsol._

_And what an impression she made._

\---

Sooyoung looked out the window at the sound of wood splitting.

Vivi shook her head, telling Sooyoung to stay put and took their dishes to the sink, starting on them immediately before Haseul did it. Years ago, Sooyoung outranked Vivi but it’s not like they took their roles seriously. They called Jungeun and the rest of the royal family by their first name.

“That would be Hyunjin.”

“She’s not on duty.” Sooyoung remembered that whenever a knight came home after a mission, they had to take a few days to regroup.

Vivi’s suggestion.

“That’s what we keep telling her.”

Hyunjin was the poster child for stubborness.

Sooyoung looked out the window, Hyunjin was chopping up firewood, barely breaking a sweat. She knew her as the Head Knight’s daughter and at five years old, she would numb Sooyoung’s fists when asked to punch them.

She also knew her as the daughter of the knights she left bleeding out underneath the carriage.

How did Hyunjin feel about her?

Did she hate her?

Did she blame her?

Did she imagine she was the stump she was splitting in two?

Did she even know who she was?

“She doesn’t hate you, you know. She knows the sacrifices that come with the job. I just didn’t think she’d learn it so young.”

How did Vivi always manage to do that? Jiwoo had intuition but Vivi possessed whatever was stronger than that. Now matter the years she still wasn’t used to it.

\---

_Jungeun flopped back onto the bed. That wasn’t wise as she felt her scars opening up again._

_Vivi and Sooyoung, on either side of her bed, tried to shift her into a better position, exchanging the blood soiled padding below her back Vivi had placed the night before._

_They ran upstairs to tell Jungeun who was here to visit her but when Jungeun excitedly asked if it was Jiwoo, they lied and validated her answer - not without Sooyoung telling the nearest knight to fetch the fruit farmer at once, saying they could walk alongside the walls since Jiwoo wasn’t granted access to the castle yet._

_Jungeun wasn’t in the mood for whatever her moms would tell her. Whether it was a lecture or an apology or an interrogation. Vivi graciously said she was ill to prevent them from walking in._

_She couldn’t let them see her in this state._

_This wasn’t how a princess should behave._

_She hadn’t slept a wink last night, having terrifying and realistic recollections of the events before she had blacked out._

_Their menacing snarls._

_Their musky scent._

_Their malicious cackling as humans, realizing it was a princess they had cornered, arguing who’d get her first._

_Then their inhuman convulsions as they turned back to wolves._

_Her own ungodly scream when one approached her from behind, slicing her clothes off, and taking the first bite of her backside._

_Then Jiwoo’s shriek as she roundhoused the wolf attempting to feast on Jungeun._

_Then pitch black._

_Nothingness._

_Pain._

_She thought it would end the first replay but it was on an endless loop. She saw and heard them whether her eyes were closed or open. The burning pain in her back hitting every nerve ending doing nothing to stop them._

_(Sooyoung couldn’t say her back hurt now.)_

_The images wouldn’t go away. Couldn’t Vivi make something to make them go away?_

_Jungeun slumped to the side, unsure if she was leaning on Vivi or Sooyoung._

_But it wasn’t Vivi or Sooyoung. It wasn’t even Jiwoo._

_There was a werewolf right there in her bedroom. Saliva dripping down its mouth, staining her silk sheets. It grabbed her shoulders, sharp nails piercing her floral sleeping gown, smiling menacingly as it pulled her close, here to finish its job._

_“GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!”_

_(Vivi and Sooyoung did everything they could to prove it was only them in the room.)_

_On the other side of the door, waiting for her cue that would never come, Jinsol’s heart shattered into smaller pieces with every sob Jungeun emitted._

\---

“You still take the bimonthly trips to the market with Haseul?” Sooyoung smirked behind her apple.

She wondered how far those two progressed in their relationship. Last she remembered, Jiwoo, Jinsol, Jungeun, and her were bidding on who’d confess first.

(Three of them bet on Vivi with Jinsol being the only one brave enough to bet Haseul as she was the only original Jung kingdom representative.)

“Minho’s been taking me nowadays.” 

“The Choi kingdom knight?” Sooyoung and her family were weapon-checked at the door by him at the party and he seemed decent. Tall. Handsome. Muscular. Tan.

(All adjectives Jiwoo would use to describe her.)

But she would’ve never thought Vivi would’ve been into me…

“Jinsol advised it would be safer to take a knight when we left the castle.”

That made more sense.

\---

_“Hello? Anybody home?”_

_Vivi giggled and took the watermelon from Haseul’s hands, not regretting telling her to knock on certain fruits to tell if they’re ripe._

_She didn’t think Haseul would actually ask for a response._

_They had evened out the amount of grocery bags between them since they couldn’t figure out who should hold more. But their bags were empty anyway._

_The markets were booming during the weekends but that was when the two loved coming. Children whizzing by the stalls, showing off trinkets the elderly merchants whittled up for them. People gossiping about any scandal they could get their ears and eyes on. The hustle and bustle should have contrasted the peaceful silence of the Jung castle. But Yeojin, Chaewon, Jungeun, and Jiwoo lived with them. They were sure the castle was actually louder than here._

_But they loved mingling with others and for the both of them, it was the perfect escape route whenever they fell into awkward silences._

_Like now._

_Vivi’s fingers skimmed over Haseul’s to remove the abused melon and Haseul’s cheeks shone a bright red. Not wanting to embarrass the girl further, Vivi decided to get watermelons another time._

_“You know I really lo…I like coming here with you.”_

_“Me too. Nice to be away from work sometimes.”_

_“Are they overworking you because Vivi, if they are, I have some choice words--”_

_Vivi smashed Haseul’s cheeks together, finding it the easiest method to get her to stop talking._

_“No threatening the queens, okay? My workload is just fine. Okay?”_

_Haseul nodded, unsure if anything coherent would come out with Vivi so close to her._

_They continued their trip down the booths, not buying anything. There were new music books that have imported from other kingdoms but their home was full of it. There were new toys they could’ve bought for the kids but thought otherwise as the last toy they bought was still hanging limp from the rooftops. There were linens they didn’t need as Jiwoo and Jungeun were on a knitting and sewing spree._

_The Jungs had all of their necessities delivered to the castle yet still granted them permission to visit the markets on a weekly basis._

_Vivi knew why._

_(She wondered if Haseul knew too.)_

_Above them, a rumble roared._

_“Oh no.”_

_Vivi looked up, a raindrop falling onto her eyebrow._

_“Not again..”_

_Helping a few vendors move their crates and carts out of the downpour, Haseul and Vivi would’ve hid underneath a shop’s awning if..._

_“The castle!”_

_Vivi could’ve thought of a million other safer and closer locations but Haseul was adamant. Using their cloth bags as makeshift umbrellas, they sprinted back to the castle._

_Like usual, they returned with empty - this time drenched - bags (much to Yeojin’s displeasure) - bringing home something no market could profit off of._

\---

“‘A weather curse’, that’s new.”

Sooyoung and Vivi were out on the balcony, enjoying the view while waiting for school to let out.

Vivi was showing her the new Jung kingdom layout. It was more fortified than before. If Jiwoo and Jungeun still talked through walls, it would be nearly impossible to hear what the other was saying.

Sooyoung noted that this was the only balcony left as well. The others being torn down after the attack when people witnessed how well werewolves could scale walls. The less footholds, the better.

Sooyoung had heard of strange things - witnessed a few of them - so a weather curse wasn’t inconceivable.

“Just because she’s got this new part of her doesn’t change the fact that she’s still a si-Haseul. Still Haseul. She uses it as an excuse for many things. She still hasn’t traveled out of the kingdom to sing yet.”

Sooyoung’s jaw dropped. That had always been Haseul’s dream. She could see Vivi had more to say about it - maybe the curse's origin or why Haseul was chosen to receive such a hex or who bestowed it on her or who bestowed it on her as humans often get put under unless they did something - but they didn't want to end their day on a conversation about this.

(Vivi may have been flipping through a family heirloom to figure out a permanent reverse curse.)

Sooyoung couldn’t help but replace Haseul’s name with another. She saw the students pour out of the reading room, chatting among themselves. Sooyoung smiled at Hyejoo being in the center of the group coming out. 

“Alright, who wants to lose first?”

Yeojin really was loud. Sooyoung could hear her from where she was standing.

Yeojin threw an epee - quite dangerously as she hurtled it with the handle following last - towards Hyejoo - but Hyunjin, coming from her workout, caught it in time. Yeojin scurried to find a different competitor as Hyunjin readied herself for a duel. Hyejoo said her goodbyes, giving Chaewon a hug longer than the rest of them, and made her way to the castle gates. Hyejoo, declining Minho’s offer to walk her to the town proper, left faster than Sooyoung could call her attention.

It was still light outside. Jiwoo and her never enforced a strict curfew on her - she could handle herself. Hyejoo could’ve stayed for a match or two.

Maybe she thought she wasn’t good enough. (Nonsense. Sooyoung and her fenced using long sticks all the time.)

Maybe she was afraid of losing. (Jiwoo and Sooyoung always taught Hyejoo how accept a fair defeat.)

Maybe she didn’t think she could control the beast within her and accidentally lay waste to her new friends.

Sooyoung didn’t catch everything that was being said on the lawn. But she didn’t miss seeing her daughter look over her shoulder at the match longingly.

\---

_Nine knocks._

_That was how Jiwoo knew it was safe to open the door, ready to embrace her wife._

_She had gone to the Kim castle, begging Jiwoo to stay put - how could she ever think she would leave her - to return her crest. She should have been back before sunrise but Sooyoung needed to take the scenic route. She didn’t know when would be the next time she would see this view again._

_They had luckily - with the help of a good friend - found a cottage on the outskirts of the Park kingdom, only a few meters from a stream, luckily far away from major water gathering sites._

_It was perfect for them while Hyejoo recovered._

_And figured out how to navigate with her new identity._

_“I got you darling,” Jiwoo fought her own tears from falling, balancing on her good leg, whispering the same phrase over and over so Sooyoung knew that she would be there. Jiwoo needed Sooyoung to know that she loved her not because she was noble. No crest or badge or medal or accolade would change her love for her._

_Knighthood wasn’t a lifelong job._

_If one survived their entire career, knights were honorably discharged when they couldn’t meet physical requirements or pass the aptitude tests._

_Sooyoung thought that would be her happy ending._

_(So did Jiwoo.)_

_She peered over at her sleeping daughter, the rough scratch marks on her face now a light shade of pink, her bruised eye finally closing all the way, her limbs a bit less swollen. Sooyoung made the right decision._

_Her happy ending would be Hyejoo being able to live a full life again._

\---

Chaewon cheered silently as she hit the bullseye again.

Again.

And again.

Yerim didn’t shy away from her volume as she praised each and every one of her shots.

Chaewon was in a good mood today. Even more than her birthday. She wasn’t sure why. It was the same as usual. She woke up. Did some dusting. Ate breakfast. Did some laundry. Heard petitions with her mother. Shook hands with visitors. Attended morning classes. Had lunch. Took a stroll with Hyejoo before afternoon classes.

Ah.

Now Chaewon could pinpoint the source of her happiness. Hyejoo was back in her life. Too giddy to sleep, she decided to work on her archery.

Not that she needed practice anyway. Jinsol and Taeyang had trained her as soon as she could hold a bow as a young child. She could shoot a flaming arrow. She could shoot riding sidesaddle. She could hit an apple off someone’s head - an activity she promised both of her mothers to never do again after scaring Haseul senseless when she shot it off Yeojin. 

It wasn’t until she was an adolescent when she knew why.

And why accuracy was key.

If you shot a werewolf in the head or heart, especially with a silver-tipped arrow, they would die instantly.

Chaewon would never be a knight. But Jinsol wanted her prepared in case anything were to ever happen. Especially if it was just her and Jungeun. Jungeun wasn’t terrible behind the bow but Chaewon feared she might not be mentally stable to reach for her quiver in time.

The monsters have already done enough damage to her mother and her family. Jungeun lost her mothers, (temporarily) her best friend, and almost herself. 

Jinsol made her promise to protect her family but Chaewon didn’t need to, she would do it regardless. Chaewon didn’t inherit Jinsol’s fiery hatred towards wolves but she did inherit her overprotectiveness.

Her mother suffered enough.

Her mother was away from home for far too long.

If a werewolf was ever within range, she would shoot it dead on sight.

  


**NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: NEXT FULL MOON**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q (ourtuneisohigh): Thanks for reading and the support. We're also learning things about the characters as the story unfolds (don't worry it's plotted to the end). Might even throw some Portuguese in here with that new Loona vid. Thanks so much all of you, it's really nice to have an outlet for our creativity and gayness. If you want to drop a Q or DM: [Twitter](https://twitter.com/0TlSH)
> 
> N (LazyNinja): Thanks for reading, hope you are enjoying learning some things about Sooyoung's past in this chapter. Who's background are you the most curious about? And once again thank you so much for the comments they really make our days. :D [ Twitter](https://twitter.com/_LazyNinja_) | [ CC](https://curiouscat.me/_LazyNinja_)


	6. Heat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****
> 
> **Format as follows:**
> 
> _Italics: Past_  
  
Straight (but really gay): Present  

> 
>   


Jiwoo wondered what she’d walk into tonight.

For the past few days, her heart melted each time she stepped through her front door. (They only had one door.) Sooyoung was helping Hyejoo improve her penmanship skills. Seeing her two favorite girls hunched over the table, their eyes adjusting to the growing darkness as the sun set, was the best sight to come home to after a long day at work.

Not like she was working hard anyway. Her infectious smile and friendly nature made selling produce very easy.

But not everything was meant to last as this night she walked onto Hyejoo threatening to break their wooden bench - that she balanced easily with one hand - if Sooyoung came any closer.

“It’s in your blood!”

“You’re the only one in our family to be one! Your argument is invalid.”

“Why are they teaching you such big words in school?” Sooyoung ran a frustrated hand through her hair.

Jiwoo dropped her bag loudly to signal an end to the fight or at least a timeout.

“What’s going on here?”

“Mom wants me to submit my name for knight training.”

Jiwoo darted her eyes between the two finally taking them in. Hyejoo was even heaving, a rarity for her. They must’ve been arguing for quite a while.

“Sweetheart, can I talk to you outside?”

Sooyoung gave Hyejoo a warning glare before joining her wife. It took her a whole week to finish that bench, Hyejoo better treat it well. Outside, Jiwoo was waiting with her arms crossed over her chest and brows furrowed. It would have been adorable if not directed at her.

“I thought we wanted her to pick her own career.” Jiwoo knew what it was like having to take over the family business so generations of her family’s efforts wouldn’t be for naught.

“And she can. There’s a variety of jobs knights can do,” Sooyoung knew what Jiwoo was getting at but it was time Hyejoo owned up to her acquired skills. "She could just do carriage search at the border."

Her conversation with Vivi earlier opened her eyes - even if it was really Haseul that did the inspiring. She didn’t want Hyejoo doubting herself and limiting herself to jobs because of fear. (No offense meant Haseul.)

“Then why?”

Sooyoung looked around to see if their nosy neighbors were listening before she gave all her attention to her wife.

“Hyejoo has never been able to know what to do with herself. Remember, she’s the one that quit school. The one that changed jobs faster than we would when she got too close to people, asking us when we’d move next.. I think she’s scared..”

“Of us?”

“Of herself.” Sooyoung corrected, not liking how Jiwoo’s voice cracked at the idea.

Jiwoo remembered what it was like when Sooyoung would venture off. Especially to the still uncharted northern mountain expansion what was deemed Exoland. She’d count the days using chalk and her bedroom wall, washing it afresh when she returned.

She wondered how Jungeun could possibly stomach it.

She should’ve gone mad by now.

(She already is, Jiwoo. Keep up.)

And as much as she hated seeing Sooyoung give up her lifelong career, a part of her was relieved that she didn’t need to be in that position anymore. Could she do the same for Hyejoo? But Hyejoo wasn’t Sooyoung. They knew not to use their daughter…

“Are you sure you’re not using her to fulfill your own dreams?”

Sooyoung felt like she was branded. The thought had never occurred to her but now that Jiwoo said it, she could see where it was coming from. She honestly only had her daughter’s best intentions in mind. Her speed, agility, and marksmanship could prove useful to protecting others.

“No, I would never,” Sooyoung took Jiwoo into her arms, smiling at the citrus smell she now carried everywhere she went. It was like before when they were still just idiots in love. “I just want her to be proud of herself.”

Hyejoo had a better percentage of returning home in one piece against any knight. Maybe even Hyunjin.

“Me too,” Jiwoo whispered into the crook of her wife’s neck, smiling at the smell of apple cider polish she now carried everywhere she went. It was different but they were still idiots in love.

\---

_Sooyoung coughed after she downed another shot._

_What number was she at now? She was as numb as she was when her back was sore. She actually missed the static feeling in her back. It was a nice reminder of…_

_“And what do we have here,” the knight next to her wolf-whistled. Jisung something. There were too many of them with that name so she resorted to that name for every knight she didn’t know personally._

_At the far end of the bar, Jiwoo waited for her order. She couldn’t read the menu so asked the bartender to get her whatever their most filling dish was. With the influx of money the Kim kingdom granted them, her family could now eat three square meals daily and afford the food made outside their home. No more “there’s food at home” excuses. Her parents were supposed to meet her there but were running late._

_Sooyoung looked over the head of Jisung #4 at the awkwardly smiling woman._

_She didn’t like how familiar the feeling was seeing a woman alone at a bar like that._

_Before Sooyoung knew it, a few members of her cohort started to circle the young woman, asking for a dance, to pay for her order, or to have a conversation with her. She was a heroine - they all secretly doubted her - so they wanted to pay their respects. Jiwoo denied them as politely as she could, looking at the bartender for help but he was too busy talking to a few swindlers whom were trying to talk themselves out of the bill._

_“Sorry but I’m waiting for someone.”_

_“A suitor?”_

_“No, my parents..”_

_“So you don’t have a suitor?,” Jisung #7 said._

_Sooyoung swallowed her pride to admit that Jiwoo was more than capable of defending herself. Their brief meeting in the castle hallway was first hand evidence of that._

_But taking on a pack of werewolves was not the same as a horde of knights._

_Werewolves were terrible beasts but a group of knights without the company of a woman for too long was just as dangerous._

_“Leave her alone!” Sooyoung was going to get it now._

_The knights sneered at her. They already had a vendetta against the girl playing knight who was promoted to castle guard too quickly. Something about the new generation of royalty being more accepting with women knights._

_“She’s with me,” Sooyoung announced a bit unconvincingly. _

_If Jiwoo didn’t want to speak to her after this evening, she could not blame her._

_What she didn’t expect was the farmer to leave her seat and take the empty one Jisung #2 had vacated next to Sooyoung._

_Jiwoo was more than capable of fighting them but something stirred within her when she heard Sooyoung defending her. And thankfully Sooyoung didn’t associate with this group of knights. She knew Sooyoung was one of the good ones._

_“She’s right. I’m with her,” Jiwoo bit her lip, hoping one day the statement would ring true._

_(So did Sooyoung.)_

\---

Heejin had never seen anyone eat so much.

Even Hyunjin couldn’t beat this girl’s voracious appetite.

When Hyejoo first joined their class, she served herself last during lunch, taking whatever was left. But when Haseul, Vivi, and even Jungeun (barging into the classroom during music lessons) told her to eat to her heart’s content, Heejin was pretty sure Hyejoo had grown multiple stomachs.

Like a goat or cow.

A fact she only knew because the inside cover of her illustrated novels had fun facts.

Hyejoo looked up from her meal to see all of the castle residents staring at her. Chaewon at least had the decency to look away but found herself face-to-face with a blank wall.

“I’m sorry.. I just eat a lot,” Hyejoo pushed her plate away, embarrassed by her behavior. She began humming a light tune to signal she was done.

(A habit Hyunjin noticed right away, wondering where the noise was coming from, ready to strike an intruder.)

She tried eating more for breakfast but her metabolism was fast. She also didn’t want her parents buying more food for her even if they were making far more money than ever before. (She was sure the queen - the one that was always home - had something to do with it.)

“No, we’re sorry for staring. Besides the more work I do in the kitchen the better,” Heejin said, pushing the plate back with a kind smile on her face.

With the two biggest eaters on duty a lot, she didn’t cook much anymore. Heejin was sure dying of boredom was a thing no matter what Teacher Vivi said.

“Yeah, ever since Hyunjin went all Two Musketeers with Aunt Jinsol, Heejin has been cooking less. Thought she was going through it like Aunt Jungeun has been,” Yeojin jabbered with stuffed cheeks.

“No offense Chaewon, we love your mother,” Yerim saved.

“But now that you’re here, food galore,” Yeojin concluded, thanking Yerim with a nod.

Heejin glared at the youngest.

How did she get a hold of her Three Musketeers novels?

Heejin was too deep in thought to feel someone’s feline eyes on her pondering if what Yeojin said was true. What did she mean by “going through it?,” Hyunjin thought.

“Heejin, what is this by the way?” Yerim diverted.

“Breaded chicken breasts with a tomato and vinegar reduction for flavor.”

“I’m going to call it chicken nuggets and this sauce tastes like a grill so barbecue sauce,” Yeojin bastardized. 

Heejin wanted to slap Yeojin upside the head but Hyunjin beat her to it. The cook sent the knight a thankful smile that went unnoticed.

(Like every other look they shared nowadays.)

Hyejoo didn’t want them pitying her. When she secured a career of her own, she should be able to provide for her parents and herself. Hopefully, a high salary job at the rate she eats.

Hyejoo ignored the voice in her head that whispered “knight” anytime she thought of a job.

But the occupants seated at the table only wanted her to live well. And to live well, one had to eat well. So when Chaewon pushed her plate back towards her - telling everyone at the table to look at their own plates for now - Hyejoo ate until she was actually full.

\---

_Hyejoo patted her pockets happily._

_As the underdog, she had beat everyone in her generation in the Shin kingdom at arm wrestling. Including their precious prince Taeyong, winning his prized knight card collection along with money._

_Her family was going to eat well tonight. _

_Maybe she could pawn the cards off too._

_What even were knight cards?_

_“Halt, Ha Hyejoo!” A shrill called behind her, causing her to freeze in place._

_Only two people in this entire kingdom knew her by that name. She turned around slowly, hoping that each second that passed made her mother less and less angry with her. But her mother was pink and loud._

_A good sign if it followed a compliment._

_A bad sign if it followed a yell like that._

_“What is this I hear about you winning an arm wrestling match against everyone?” Jiwoo screeched, each word louder than the last._

_“Mom, I---”_

_“You don’t think people will develop theories as to how you beat all the knights-in-training--”_

_“They wanted to--”_

_“Then what happens then?”_

_“MOM, THEY LIKE ME!” Hyejoo screamed back, immediately bowing after yelling at her mother._

_Jiwoo’s face softened. They had only lived in this kingdom for three months, all of them going by aliases - Chuu, Yves, and Olivia - to keep their identities hidden. Just when they thought they could start over, word got out of an amazing feat no one in the village has done village._

_Hyejoo deserved some semblance of a normal childhood. She could count on zero hands how many friends she had. At least Sooyoung and Jiwoo had each other. Hyejoo had no one her age to play around with, gossip with, even get in trouble with._

_“Hye,” Jiwoo apologized. “I don’t want people treating you like a circus act..”_

_“I know, Mom. I won’t do it again. Promise.”_

_Her mother gave her a gentle hug as they tried to do often after an argument. Jiwoo feels the weight in her pocket and chuckles, “So how much did you manage to win?”_

_Hyejoo grinned and pulled out her winnings to show her moms. _

_“Oh my gosh are those Dalcom Knight cards? I haven’t seen those in forever!” Jiwoo gushed._

_“What are they?” Hyejoo examined the cards, “The Prince said they were his prized collection but I don’t understand what these are?”_

_Taking the stack of cards in hand Jiwoo began to explain, “These are collectable cards of the kingdom’s knights. They are a way for the kingdom’s residents to learn about the people who protect and defend them on a more personal basis.”_

_Holding up the top card she went on, “On the front is a photo of the knight with their name and rank. The back has that knight’s kingdom and a blank space for a signature.” Turning the card around to the back showed the Shin Kingdom’s crest and name with a signature reading ‘Wonho.’_

_“Hmm...did Mom used to have one?” _

_“She did, wonder if the prince has her card, she was pretty highly ranked you know--” Her praise of her wife stopped as she shuffled the cards to the last one in the stack. A noticeable look of shock on her face at the sight._

_A blonde woman was on the front looking posh and important._

_Someone who they hadn’t seen in years._

_Someone who looked oddly familiar to the youngest Ha. _

_“Do we know this person, mom?”_

_They did. _

_But not this version of her._

\---

It would be one of the last archery lessons before the cold season hit.

Hyunjin and Chaewon were hitting target after target without a blink.

Heejin was a little confused but she got the spirit.

Yerim wasn’t even holding the bow in the right direction.

Yeojin all but gave up and resorted to javelin much to Haseul’s annoyance.

Hyejoo attributed her success to beginner’s luck. In order to keep the current consensus that she was an ordinary girl, she purposefully missed every third arrow, sure not to shatter a window, statue, or bust. But she fell into a comfortable rhythm and soon she was matching Hyunjin and Chaewon.

“Who taught you how to shoot?” Hyunjin asked, ending her question with another bullseye.

“My mother. She used to be a knight.” Hyejoo aimed for inside a flower bed.

“Oh right, sorry about that.” Another bullseye.

“No, don’t be sorry. She spends more time with us now which is great for our family. My mom loves it.” Hyejoo was a meter off center.

Hyunjin knew that wasn’t a subliminal message - the new girl barely knew her situation - but she was still burnt by it. A flash of her parents went through her mind, making her shake her head.

“I think that it’s noble of her,” Chaewon joined.

“More noble than a knight?”

“There’s more ways to be noble than donning armor, Knight Hyunjin.”

“You’re right, I apologize,” Hyunjin ended their conversation with a courteous bow.

Hyejoo was amazed by how much respect Hyunjin got. Not that Chaewon was a tough princess by any means. She cared for everyone. But around town, everyone knew Hyunjin. They admired her. They respected her. They adored her.

All for her brawn and bravery.

Which Hyejoo would admit she had too.

(She was a bit of an egoist.)

Maybe she could be a knight.

And a good one at that.

\---

_“Halt!”_

_Hyejoo stopped in her tracks. She really should’ve asked for directions before her mom gleefully sent her on her way._

_(“Go get her tiger!” Jiwoo winked playfully to cheer her on._

_“Wrong animal, Mom,” Hyejoo joked, feeling much better. It was hard not to when a ray of sunshine was your mother.)_

_Stopping on the staircase to the third floor where she thought Chaewon was, Hyejoo puffed her cheeks out. She did not have a good alibi for this and having no real connections to the royal family - “My parents are their friends who they thought were dead” - she wasn’t sure how to talk herself out of this one._

_Hyunjin gripped onto the intruder’s shoulder, turning them around aggressively._

_She couldn’t mess up again. That night at the pub with Haseul still scarred her._

_“What do you think you’re doing?!”_

_“Uh…”_

_Hyunjin scrutinized the culprit, mentally seeing if they were on the “most wanted list.” But this person’s profile didn’t fit any description she was hunting for. Taking a deep breath, she now had to test if they were a…_

_“Hyejoo!” Heejin called out. “Chaewon’s looking for you.”_

_“Hyejoo?” Hyunjin questioned. “Ha Hyejoo?”_

_“Hello,” Hyejoo waved with the arm Hyunjin wasn’t cutting the circulation off of._

_Hyunjin released her hold on Hyejoo. Both of them straightening their composures as Heejin watched with an amused smile at the top of the staircase. It was usually her caught in an awkward situation so she soaked in the moment before her._

_“Sorry. I knew you were here but I didn’t...know.”_

_“No, I shouldn’t have been stalking the princess.”_

_“You’re stalking the princess?”_

_“No, that is an exaggeration..”_

_“So you’re not stalking the princess…”_

_“More like looking for…”_

_“Chaewon’s on the balcony,” Heejin intervened._

_“Which one?” Hyejoo asked. _

_“We only have one balcony now, Hyejoo,” Hyunjin answered for Heejin. Hyunjin wished for this reunion almost as much as everyone else in the castle. The princess deserved happiness. Or at least closure._

_“Permission to see her?” Hyejoo asked, one foot already on the step above her._

_Heejin and Hyunjin shared a look - this was about Hyejoo and Chaewon, not them, don’t get excited - recalling how broken Chaewon was when the court wanted to overturn the Has’ missing standing to declared dead._

_Legally: death in absentia._

_“Permission granted.”_

\---

A gentle knock on the door took the students’ out of the concentration. They were taking an exam, Hyejoo at the teacher’s desk to orally give her answers to Vivi.

(Yeojin was leaning over her desk listening to try and get the answers.)

All eyes turned to see Jungeun at the door, more excited than usual. For a majority of the room, it was a welcome sight. There was a time Jungeun didn’t have her lion smile on her face, her laughter a rare commodity. So seeing her like this was a treasure.

“Sorry to interrupt.”

All heads shook their head no. She could never interrupt.

“May I speak with Hyejoo?”

And before Hyejoo could look at her teacher, she was shoved out the door.

She followed Jungeun until they were in the gardens, standing among flowers buds, hibernating for the approaching winter season. The Jung garden wasn’t in full bloom, its trees bare and grass wilted. The fish that swam in the pond and streams had immigrated inside the castle - Jinsol having built a system of indoor tunnels so the fish could swim freely even in the winter. 

“What is it, Your Aunt Majesty Jungeun?”

Jungeun chuckled at the name.

“I saw your name on the knight candidate list for approval.”

Hyejoo was actually going to crush her mother with her bed when she got home.

“Jiwoo put it down.”

Hold that thought.

“I didn’t know knighthood was of interest,” Jungeun looked at the girl, trying to see if she was right to question it. But who was she kidding? She knew nothing about her. She missed out on so much of Hyejoo’s life.

“It is,” Hyejoo lied.

“If you’re anything like your mother Sooyoung, you’ll be one of the best. I know it. She protected me very well.”

“You ran away under her watch.”

“But then your other mom protected me. My running away was my fault anyway.”

(Not Jinsol’s, never Jinsol.)

“I’ll have to make sure I keep you here at the castle,” Jungeun chided.

The Jung castle.

The place where Hyejoo was born and spent a few years plus two birthday evenings at.

The place where her parents wished they raised her.

The place where she felt more at home and actually accepted as who she is by people that weren’t of blood relation.

She knew that if she took the candidacy, her aunt(s) would find a way to station her here so her parents could eventually move back in. And stability was all she ever wanted for them.

(And deep down, for herself.)

“That is very kind of you Your Aunt Majesty Jungeun,” Hyejoo thanked. And with each growing word, she was more convinced her mothers would get their happy ending after all.

Jungeun sighed lightly in satisfaction. It would be nice to have their original family back together again. She was starting to feel lonely. When was Jinsol due back again?

“Oh looks like a full moon tonight,” the queen gazed at the raising moon looming over the autumn clouds.

Hyejoo froze.

She had been so focused on school, she completely forgot to track the lunar cycle.

Jungeun should be the last to find out, given her history.

“I just realized, I must go,” Hyejoo apologized. “Please tell Teacher Vivi I will finish my test when I get back.”

Jungeun understood. It was best Hyejoo travel back before it was completely dark outside. If Jinsol were here, she would assign a guard for her but so far, Hyejoo had been making it back safely. If Jungeun sent someone with her, they’d have to come back alone and that defeated the purpose of an escort system.

(Sending Hyunjin and Minho together, the best knights, was out of the question. Last time she sent the best knights together, they didn’t come back.)

Jungeun waved Hyejoo off, enthusiastic that she would one day get to know the girl she saw as a niece.

Another student picked up on the end part of that conversation - having finished the test early - now knowing what to do during her time off duty.

\---

_“I’m going to make the kingdom safe!”_

_Hyunjin pounded proudly on her chest and presented a series of wrestling poses._

_Even the lake view couldn’t tear Heejin’s eyes away from the new (embarrassing) knight candidate._

_Hyunjin was quite young to be considered but her parents’ place in the kingdom allowed her to train early. She would start with small jobs before being in her parent’s positions._

_Heejin hoped it would be years before then. With Taeyang and Hyorin’s skills, they would hold their positions until retirement which meant Hyunjin would have to be transferred elsewhere. Heejin didn’t know much about the kingdom she left - Queen Jungeun’s former home - having grown up in the Jung kingdom since she was a toddler. Her parents were lucky they were allowed to take her with them._

_But what if Hyunjin was transferred there or somewhere further?_

_“It’s going to be so great, Heejin. I’m going to travel and ride a horse and save people and eat everything,” Hyunjin jabbered._

_Heejin tugged the hyperactive girl down._

_“And you’re going to come with me.”_

_“Me?” Heejin asked incredulously. Are they sure Hyunjin passed the mental test?_

_“Yeah, who else is going to make sure I eat well,” Hyunjin retracted._

_She couldn’t let the girl know about her small crush on her. It was too soon. They still had some of their baby teeth._

_She was allowed to bring Heejin out thankfully. Heejin lost her parents recently. Hyunjin was doing all she can to distract the orphaned girl from her grief. Her own parents were checking the perimeter before the princess’ fifth birthday, allotting the girls their privacy._

_She hoped that once she was a knight, she’d be able to bring Heejin to further locations._

_When she was a knight, she was going to show Heejin the world._

\---

Untouched.

Hyejoo exhaled a huge sigh of relief, checking out her space.

Her den was situated not far from where she transformed for the very first time. That little cottage by the stream her parents raised her in was ramshackled thanks to a raid. They were thankfully long gone by then.

Situated between spruce trees, Hyejoo carefully dug her den so that the back of it faced a cliffside. If ever ambushed, she would be able to see them coming and her inhumane traction would allow her to slide down the cliff faster than any human could follow. Like her archery skills at school, she gave the den rough touches so as not to give her true identity. 

Wedged in the entrance, she stuck fallen leaves so it would look like it had been vacated. Outside, her den was comprised of leaves, branches, and twigs.

But the inside made an architect's dream.

Hyejoo packed in the walls with clay to provide extra warmth - Jiwoo’s idea - and stuck sharpened branches around it to pierce those who wanted to tear it down - Sooyoung’s idea.

One had to crawl further in to find there was just enough room to stand, supported by wooden beams she took from their vacated cottage. The extra height wouldn’t be necessary in a few minutes away. 

Tucked away in a small compartment were two blankets - both of her parents’ ideas. One was angled differently on purpose so she knew if anyone paid her space a surprise visit.

Or raid.

Hyejoo had made it without trouble - paying her mothers a short visit. If Aunt Jungeun didn’t look up at the sky, she wasn’t sure if she would’ve made it on time. It placated her that Jinsol was doing diplomatic duties and Hyunjin was on vacation. 

Relaxing underneath the blankets - one from her mothers, the other from Chaewon many years ago - Hyejoo closed her eyes, focused on her breathing, and waited for her transformation.

\---

_“MOM, MAKE IT STOP.. PLEASE!”_

_She rattled the cage her parents had to locked her in. Her bones were expanding underneath her skin, her body temperatures boiling, her adrenaline rushing. Tears were streaming down her face as she begged her parents to do something about this excruciating pain._

_How was she supposed to survive month after month of this?_

_Jiwoo was told not to touch the cage no matter what but how could she stand by and watch this happen to her precious child? How could any mother? She consumed her own pain and tried to look at her daughter to tell her that it was okay, her moms were here._

_They’d always be here._

_Gone were her daughter’s beautiful dark brown eyes. Now they radiated a piercing, golden honey._

_It had been years since she came face to face with one of them but this one she wouldn’t roundhouse or flip or punch or throw. This was still her daughter._

_“CAN’T YOU DO ANYTHING?” Sooyoung begged to the third adult in the cottage._

_They had helped construct the cage for them, having experienced an almost wolf-transformation once for a dear friend. A double matrixed cage, the outer layer coated with silver. But not too much because Hyejoo was still a little girl._

_The third person sadly shook their head._

_The bite mark was too deep. Hyejoo’s little body absorbed too much of the wolf’s saliva without a fight. Tonight would be the first transformation of many._

_Sooyoung joined her daughter and wife in their cries._

_The silver stake bouncing as she threw it to the floor._

_Before she carried pockets of those weapons but she would never let anything of that kind touch her precious daughter._

\---

Hyunjin liked fighting alongside Jinsol. Beneath their icy exteriors were goofballs. (Sometimes Jinsol took it too seriously but Hyunjin always snapped her out of it.) But tonight, she was on her own. She had to be alert no matter what.

There were times when Jinsol would be called to a meeting or needed to do something “boring” so would send Hyunjin ahead. They never told anyone in the castle of that for fear that someone - especially a certain physician, teacher, and queen - would not approve of solo excursions.

Leaving her horse tied to a tree, she headed deeper and deeper into the woods. She was far from civilization, passing an abandoned cabin a hundred paces ago.

The strange interior of the cabin distracted her from her target in sight. It looked like any standard shack except a large, rusty cage in the corner of the room.

There was no evidence besides the cage indicating what kind of family could’ve lived there. 

She wasn’t playing favorites. She would do this with anyone. And with how close Hyejoo was growing with the castlehold, she had to make sure she could trust her. But something odd about Hyejoo’s vehement demand to leave Aunt Jungeun’s presence left a sour taste in her mouth. She shouldn’t have overheard their conversation but her ears were well-trained to pick out certain sounds over others.

It felt normal following her, seeing Hyejoo greet her parents sweetly while they worked in town, helping Jiwoo stack the empty crates so her mother wouldn’t have to do so, then throwing Sooyoung’s tool belt around the highest rafters to aggravate her. After, the new student didn’t head in the direction of her house.

She was heading past the Jung kingdom border.

From what she knew, the Has weren’t sociable people so who could Hyejoo be visiting?

Hearing a twig snap, Hyunjin whipped her head towards the sound.

It followed a fawn’s bleat.

Then a squelch. 

Drawing her sword, Hyunjin approached cautiously.

\---

_Jinsol has lost all faith in her._

_Ever since she unleashed herself at the pub to defend Haseul’s honor, Hyunjin became the counterexample for knighthood. Stripped of her crest and told to turn in her uniform, she was demoted to messenger duty until Jinsol could properly transfer her._

_(Even Jungeun couldn’t help. The longer she stayed in the town, the more the town distrusted the monarchy.)_

_So when the opportunity presented itself, she had to take it._

_She gave the horse a tearful goodbye and led it roam an open rice field. A sacrifice must be made in order to secure her and Yerim’s spot in the castle. She looked up, applauding herself for getting the moon cycle correct. _

_At the first werewolf that approached, Hyunjin rolled up her sleeves. _

_For most people, it was a death trap but Hyunjin knew what she was doing. The less weapons she used, the more the town would be impressed._

\---

The werewolf licked her lips as she finished off half of her first kill of the cycle.

Blood dripping down her teeth, she relaxed against the tree and let the autumn air blow away the smell of death. Being smaller in stature, she didn’t need much to satiate her needs so would eat the other half the next day.

She recalled the conversation she had days prior about her appetite. Ironically, her hunger as a wolf was less intense. She didn’t do much anyway while she was out here. The extra carbs weren’t needed.

(Neither were the extra blankets but how could she part with them.)

The less time she spent outside, the safer.

Some breaded chicken breast with tomato and vinegar reduction would be good right now for dessert.

Hiding the leftover carcass, the wolf began humming.

To anyone listening, it would’ve sounded like a cacophony of whimpers.

But to the only person in this neck of the woods, the tune was familiar, having heard it at the lunch table after meals for a while now.

In an unprecedented move, Hyunjin resheathed her sword.

\---

_Jiwoo was running out of fingernails to chew on._

_Looking at Sooyoung, her wife sat on her hands and looked at her incredulously. “What’s yours is mine” did not apply in this situation._

_They haven’t seen their daughter in five days and four nights. And in all of those three nights there was a full moon._

_What if something happened to her?_

_That new coalition, whatever they were called, what if they got a hold of her?_

_What could they trade to get their daughter back?_

_Twelve knocks._

_Jiwoo ripped opened the door to their small cottage. Sooyoung covered the cage with a blanket in case it wasn’t..._

_Hyejoo, hair tousled and clothes dusty, did her best to give her parents a reassuring smile._

_Only to be pulled in quite violently by them._

_“Where have you been?”_

_“Do you know how worried sick your mother has been?”_

_“You’ve been worried too, Sooyoungie.”_

_“That’s besides the point.”_

_Hyejoo couldn’t hide her grin despite the lecture she was getting. Never before had she felt so free and in control while in her wolf skin. The wind rushing through her fur, the absence of eating off a cold concrete floor, stargazing at night with her enhanced vision._

_It was exhilarating._

_It was liberating._

_It was going to give her mother a heart attack._

_She explained her adventures to her parents, rinsing the blood from her mouth in their basin with a sage grout and salt solution. Scrubbing the mixture hard with a washcloth, she hoped to turn around to her parents with a new mindset. But they looked more worried than when she stepped in._

_“Are you going to do it again?”_

_Hyejoo wanted to. She really did but she didn’t want her parents losing sleep and sanity when she was gone. She was almost a teenager so shouldn’t she be taking more responsibility for herself? Not just her human side._

_“I won’t if you don’t want me to,” Hyejoo gave up._

_Sooyoung and Jiwoo looked at each other and then their tiny (blanketed) cage. Hyejoo would outgrow it soon._

_Maybe it was time they outgrew their overprotectiveness too._

\---

“Good work fellas...”

“Ahem…”

“...And Queen Jinsol. Until next time,” the head of council dismissed the forum.

They were thinking about extending the number of back routes to each kingdom but for some that were separated by tributaries, that required bridge-building and the bigger issue was how to fund it. Then someone said the expense of trees could do much harm to the environment, which was brushed aside as a red herring. Minho was on duty protecting the castle and Jinsol went in his place.

(She had important research-based errands to run before this anyway and the closer she got to the knights, the easier this would be.)

Being the only monarch there, Jinsol only wanted to stay for discussions about her kingdom’s connection to the three closest to her - Moon, Choi, and Park - but they just kept talking and she didn’t know how to excuse herself.

“Care for a drink, Your Majesty?”

“I best be heading off.”

But as she looked out the window at the full moon, she thought otherwise. Looks like she had to spend another day in the guest room of the Shin kingdom. The rest of the dispatch council left the room, less affected by the lunar calendar than she was.

That evening, she rejected the mistress the council sent her way as a parting gift. Thinking back to her own adulteress parents, she knew better than to follow in their footsteps. If she didn’t love her wife, she might’ve reconsidered. (And maybe she should be more open-minded at why her parents were unfaithful towards each other. Jungeun and her found love. Not them.)

That didn’t mean she shouldn’t put the mistress’ efforts to waste as they shared a dinner together, making sure the woman had more to eat than her.

Not like word of this would get out. It was customary for royals to have affairs outside of their arranged marriages.

But not her.

A page after her dutiful note taking, had one woman’s name written from margin to margin. A woman who was far too magnificent to even make Jinsol consider having an affair. Over the years, she had written this name more than she’d said it aloud to the owner of it. She wanted the opposite to be true but she was doing all of this for the name for her.

Heavens, did she miss her dearly.

Wishing the woman a good evening and making sure she got to her horse safely, Jinsol returned to her notepad. With one final brush stroke, finishing the heart around the name, Jinsol blew out her lamp.

Jung Jungeun.

Jung Jungeun.

Jung Jungeun.

How many pages did her name fill out this notepad and the ones before it?

Turning her head to look at the damned moon, wishing it could change its shape just so she was one day closer to being home, Jinsol whispered into the dead of night.

“I’m sorry, my love. I will be with you soon.”

  


**NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: THE NEXT NEW MOON**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q (ourtuneisohigh): We love the good family dynamic the Ha family has, so why not disrupt it a bit with Jinsol's homecoming. (Lowkey wish I had a knight's card of her, or any card for that matter. Anyone wish to buy me a season's greeting?) In terms of writing dynamics, N is more of my beta and head smacker when I go too far but they contributed to the writing this time and I'm so proud. Thanks for reading and for all the support. If you would like, share your thoughts and predictions, it's about to get wild. [Twitter](https://twitter.com/0TlSH)
> 
> N (LazyNinja): Hey everyone, hope your full moon is going well and you enjoyed this chapter. I helped write a bit this time so I am a tad nervous about it. (Wish they could make a knight card for the teachers.. Viseul ranked S pls) Do let us know what you think abou the story so far. Thanks again for reading, stay hydrated. [ Twitter](https://twitter.com/_LazyNinja_) | [CC](https://curiouscat.me/_LazyNinja_)


	7. I'll Be There

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****
> 
> **[TW:** Due to recent events in the Kpop community, Jinsol’s other mother has been changed to Hyoyeon. Also we have three warnings for this chapter:  
1) There is a funeral/memorial flashback for the victims of the wolf attack. This was written months ago and we’ve kept it in. Please know this isn’t meant to replicate recent events. Funeral segment starts with _“...And we hold our hearts to the many who have gone missing.”_  
2) This chapter goes in-depth with Jungeun’s anxiety/panic attacks and symptoms. Please read with caution and take care of yourself.  
3) An abridged version of the wolf vs. human history here includes an allusion of non-consent. No Loona characters are directly harmed by this and the mention is to give context on the violence between wolves and humans.]
> 
> Format as follows:
> 
> _Italics: Past_  
  
Straight (but really gay): Present  

> 
> ****  


Six knocks.

Jiwoo and Sooyoung shared a look. If that was Hyejoo, this would be her fastest commute yet. Maybe she had changed dens.

Opening their front door a bit hesitantly, they didn’t expect to see the queen. Behind her a crowd of villagers kept their distance across the street, partaking in a rare occurrence of the queen out and about. Hyunjin reclined in her carriage driver bench, closing her helmet to catch up on much needed sleep. Even retired, ex-knight Sooyoung would know better than to let the queen fall into harm’s way.

(Hyunjin also had much to sort through internally.)

Jiwoo stepped outside but Jungeun didn’t make way.

As the crowd of people grew, getting closer to the queen, Jiwoo understood and let Jungeun in. Behind her, Sooyoung was quickly tidying up the place. Once Jungeun step foot inside, she planted herself on the bench, thumbing through Hyejoo’s notepad as if she wasn’t dusting at breakneck speed.

“Jungeun, this is a pleasant surprise. We weren’t expecting company.”

It was a surprise for Jungeun as well. This is the farthest she’s traveled in years, their shack was part of the newer developed housing projects expanding outward.

“Is Hyejoo around?” Jungeun looked around. Anywhere else a person would be in the dwelling was within visual range.

“She’s not back yet. We sent her out to run a few errands.”

“Oh I apologize. It’s just she’s missed the last couple days of school. I wasn’t sure if I scared her off.”

Jungeun could feel her heart racing again. She still wasn’t ready to be out. It was just Hyunjin outside to take care of her and Jiwoo and Sooyoung didn’t know her condition yet.

Since their return, it had been improving greatly but the slight scream she had when Hyunjin hit a bump in the road on the way here, pulling over to check the queen’s health, said otherwise.

Why couldn’t she be normal? Jungeun thought about herself.

“I can assure you Jungie,” the nickname slipping easily from Jiwoo’s lips. “You did not scare her off. It’s her...time of the month.”

Thank goodness they could use that excuse.

“May I wait here until she gets back,” Jungeun said.

Jiwoo immediately pushed her wife off the bench, kissing her quickly to apologize, to make room for the queen.

“May we offer you something to eat? Some strawberries and chocolate. They were a gift from…”

“Darling, we were going to use that for our date ni--”

“Hush you.”

”Yes dear.”

“No, I’m--”

“You’re eating.”

Jungeun and Sooyoung - hiding her grumbling - looked at Jiwoo sweetly as she prepared a snack. It was hard to deny anything from Jiwoo.

\---

_“...And we hold our hearts to the many who have gone missing. May their souls find the way…” the presider preached._

_Jungeun held a sobbing Yerim close against her chest, doing her best to shush the frazzled girl. Jinsol wrapped one arm around her wife, holding her together as well. They both wanted to grieve as well but the newly orphaned girl needed them more. _

_Even Heejin was holding in her tears next to her but it was because Hyunjin had screamed at her earlier to leave her alone when she was struggling getting dressed that morning._

_Hyunjin was nowhere in sight. She bolted as soon as the carriage stopped. Haseul and Vivi staying back to look for her._

_Chaewon was sitting on Jungeun’s other side, copying her mother’s strokes in rubbing Yerim’s back. She’d never seen so many people crying at once._

_Almost every knight in the kingdom was here._

_Even some knights from other kingdoms._

_Wasn’t Hyejoo’s mom a knight too?_

_“Mommy, where’s Hyejoo?”_

_Jungeun bit her lip, not wanting to break the news to their daughter yet. Jinsol and her didn’t know if they could do it without crying. But they didn’t want to give anyone the job of telling her that Hyejoo probably wouldn’t be coming to anymore birthday parties._

_Neither would Sooyoung and Jiwoo._

_Jungeun held Yerim closer, trying to mask her sobs._

_Jinsol squeezed her wife closer and told Chaewon and Heejin to come sit on her other side. People were staring at them. Were they judging how they cried? If they cried? Whose idea was it for the royals to sit in the first few rows? They were so clouded with grief, they couldn’t greet each other properly. Did Jungeun hug her aunt Taeyeon yet? Did she even look at her aunt Krystal at all?_

_She took a look at her wife._

_This was the farthest she’s been away from the Jung castle after their marriage but it took a terrible event to coax her._

_She closed her eyes until the ceremony was over._

_Hyunjin had miraculously arrived in time to take Yerim from Jungeun. She must’ve watched it from afar. Haseul and Vivi gathered Chaewon and Heejin respectively. Bending over, Jinsol lifted her wife off her chair, ignoring the whispers around them, carried her the to carriage, and didn’t let her go until they were safely home._

\---

Jungeun had other duties to accomplish and Jiwoo promised she’d see Hyejoo at school the next day.

(Both lies. Jungeun was feeling a tightness in her chest that only Vivi could help her through and Jiwoo wasn’t sure if Hyejoo would be up for it tomorrow.)

Hyunjin didn’t react in time when a man shoved Jungeun against the carriage. His breath was rancid and eyes crusty, smiling dangerously in her face. He slapped his hands on both sides of her head, trapping her in-between.

Hyunjin flashbacked to that night with Haseul and tried to react accordingly. She gripped onto one of the carriage railings to keep her calm.

“Sir, let the queen go.”

“I’m not holding her,” the man hiccuped.

Jungeun, eyes tightened, waited for him to touch her or do whatever he wanted. This wasn’t the reason she avoided leaving the castle but it was a reason why she wouldn’t be coming down for a while.

Jiwoo and Sooyoung inched their way forward, trying to flank him on all sides. Seeing Jungeun like this brought back bad memories for them. Seeing Hyunjin hang her head in sadness rather than confusion meant she was used to this reaction. Jungeun hadn’t gotten over it since they lived together in the castle more than a decade ago.

Jungeun invented a happy place.

With Chaewon.

With Jiwoo and Sooyoung.

With Vivi and Haseul.

With Yerim, Hyunjin, Yeojin, and Heejin.

With her parents.

With Jinsol.

Succumbing to her fantasy, she let herself go. She was almost gone when in a blink of an eye, the man was tackled from view. A tornado of dust swirled around them at the force. When it settled, Hyejoo was holding the man with both arms behind his back.

Jungeun was impressed.

Hyunjin was intrigued.

Jiwoo and Sooyoung were petrified.

(So was Hyejoo.)

She tried reworking her stance so it would look like she was struggling. She didn’t miss the warning look in Jiwoo and Sooyoung’s eyes. But she wasn’t going to do anything hasty.

They weren’t going to move again.

Also, she was doing the town a favor.

Nobody liked him anyway.

If she was lucky, maybe this would help paint her family in better colors in the queen’s eyes which in turn would expedite her knight candidacy. And with the dreamlike eyes Jungeun was throwing her way, her wolf was doing her favors for once.

\---

_“I bet there’s purple fields out there.”_

_“I bet there’s people out there with frog heads. Imagine people's bodies but with frog heads.”_

_“I bet there’s houses with separate doors just for bunnies.”_

_“I bet there’s worlds out there where your peripheral vision is limited and you can only see one-third of the space in front of you. The rest of your vision is filled with black bars. And they call it portrait mode.”_

_Chaewon, Yeojin, Heejin, and Yerim giggled among themselves as they sat around Chaewon’s bed. Had to be around the bed because there was no way they could fit on it without clearing it of stuffed animals._

_They were creating scenes of what the world outside the Jung castle would hold as they waited for Jungeun to bring up their lunch. She wanted to make a simple dish today and whatever the queen wants, she gets._

_“You’re going to be so lucky that you’ll see it all one day Chae.”_

_“Who says I won’t bring you with me? I need a handmaiden...”_

_Yerim cheesed._

_“....A cook...”_

_Heejin fist pumped._

_(Fighting the memory of Hyunjin promising to show her the world years ago.)_

_“...And someone reckless enough to face any dangers headfirst.”_

_Yeojin high-fived herself._

_“You’ll see. I’m going to be old enough and leave this castle finally.”_

_As they daydreamed, they were oblivious to Jungeun on the other side of the door - a tray of sandwiches and pastries scattered on the floor - holding a shaking hand over her mouth, crying at the world she couldn’t show her own daughter._

\---

Jungeun groaned to herself as soon as she saw who was waiting for her at the castle doors.

Vivi and she never regarded their age difference much but sometimes, it was obvious Vivi was the oldest. Like now, when Vivi had her arms folded over her chest, tapping her foot impatiently.

But Hyunjin could only drive so fast.

When she disembarked, Hyunjin whispered a quick good luck before scurrying off.

“Before you begin, I simply went to Jiwoo and Sooyoung’s..”

Vivi didn’t care where Jungeun went. She was concerned she left the castle at all. Luckily, Hyunjin was with her even after going on a quick solo mission east a few nights ago, only returning this morning.

Seeing Jungeun with her tail between her legs, Vivi admonished her tough stance.

She was proud of Jungeun. Haseul and her wanted to chase after the departing carriage to wave goodbye. (Haseul wanted to break out the “welcome home” banner from years ago.) Even if the queen was visiting familiar people, she stepped outside the castle grounds. Progress was never linear. Vivi warned Chaewon, who wanted to pop champagne celebrating her mom going out, that one instance didn’t mean repeated ones. 

(When Chaewon found out about the drunkard attack, she regretted celebrating early.)

Vivi didn’t want to give Chaewon false hope.

Vivi didn’t want to give Jungeun false hope either.

\---

_“There’s no way to stop it?” Jinsol flopped onto the floor, even when Vivi and Sooyoung offered her a seat, concern etched on her brows._

_This princess was very different than the many other suitors that visited._

_Her carriage was waiting up front. She didn’t have plans of staying, taking the first carriage she saw when news of Jungeun’s disappearance broke out. Sooyoung and Vivi felt sorry that the princess wouldn’t get the chance to see Jungeun. But Jungeun was overwhelmed and Jinsol didn’t want to scare her even more._

_Someone named Jiwoo was visiting early tomorrow and she sounded important._

_“Maybe it was just a one time thing,” Sooyoung suggested. Jungeun had never been so animal-like before - like it wasn’t Jungeun in there at all._

_Jinsol had yet to visit the princess who had finally cried herself to hopefully a restful sleep. She had snuck downstairs while Vivi and Sooyoung did whatever they did to stop the crying - unable to listen to it a minute longer._

_Why did she run away?_

_What did she do wrong to make the princess run away?_

_The two looked up - Jinsol straining her neck from the floor - at the only person who could hopefully have answers: the castle physician._

_Vivi didn’t know how frank she should be in this moment. There were limited materials for her to use to really know what was going on with Jungeun. And if anything was awry in the royal family, whether it be physical or mental health, the records did their best to sugarcoat it. It was easy to diagnose Jungeun’s back injury but the other symptoms?_

_The hallucinations._

_The dissociating._

_The shallow breathing._

_The heart palpitations._

_The inconsolable crying._

_The twist in one’s stomach like something was wrong even if one couldn’t pinpoint what it was._

_It was disorder no one - not even in the lower classes - liked to talk about._

_And if a sovereign had it, it would be pushed away and denied. Or worse, given high doses of untested medicine so she could at least appear normal on the surface. _

_“I hope so.”_

\---

Jungeun steadied herself on her triple-mirrored dresser before dinner.

She had asked Hyunjin to not disclose the events of the day. But that doesn’t mean people wouldn’t find out sooner or later. She didn’t want to give anyone more things to worry about.

It would only set them back on their lives.

The door creaked and a pair of heavy boots stepped inside.

“It’s me,” a voice husked, announcing her presence.

Jinsol did that every time.

(They learned the hard way. Once, Jinsol thought she was surprising Jungeun from behind but it ended in tears for both of them.)

Jinsol was too good for her. She accommodated too much just to make sure she had a normal wife. But she was far from it.

She was crazy.

She couldn’t even leave the house for a full day.

When she felt strong hands on her shoulders working down her arms to encircle her, followed by a warm breath tickling her ear, Jungeun fell back into her wife’s comforting embrace.

“Like I said, I will always come back to you.”

Karmic.

When they first met, Jinsol felt like she didn’t deserve Jungeun.

Now Jungeun felt like she didn’t deserve Jinsol.

\---

_Jinsol fanned through their new textbooks. She figured they were from Teacher Tiffany; she was bribing her way in for job security._

_(Or maybe to keep seeing her mother.)_

_Turning to page 394, she was confronted with a rough sketch of a werewolf. Jinsol paid the teacher no mind when she said not to skip ahead; she skimmed the next pages about the history of the beasts which were things she’d heard before:_

_“...Once half-breeds made well-esteemed knights…”_

_“...famine….”_

_“...lost control…”_

_“...ate human comrades…”_

_“...crucified…”_

_“...Rebellion against the royals…”_

_“...conversion of humanity…”_

_“...Exiled to the forests...”_

_“...kidnap humans to multiply wolf population…”_

_The next chapter covered witches - Haseul seemed more interested in that one - and Jinsol slammed her book shut._

_She didn’t need the extortion from her mom’s other lover._

_She also didn’t need the reminder that werewolves were monsters._

\---

“Ha Hyejoo, daughter of Sooyoung and Jiwoo!”

The other Jung queen marched towards her, trudging boisterously and with purpose.

“Glad to see you around the castle again. How is school treating you?” Jinsol clasped her hand on Hyejoo’s back.

Quite hard.

Her mother was right, Jinsol did gain muscles since she last saw her.

“Very well Your Majes…Aunt Jinsol. How was your trip?”

Jinsol studied the girl in front of her. She was Chaewon’s junior but she looked like she could handle herself. (Not that Chaewon couldn’t.) From the praises she heard during dinner, the Ha daughter made the classroom more lively and the kids more behaved. Also partnered activities were much easier as she evened the numbers. (Much to Heejin and Hyunjin’s relief.)

And Jungeun had left the castle to visit her.

(No one had the heart to tell Jinsol the full story.)

“Same old. I space out during most of the meetings but I have to stay for the whole event. Can’t fall asleep during any of them or else I get called out. Apparently my signature’s important or something.”

Hyejoo couldn’t fight the smile. She sympathized, getting caught falling asleep at school during a timeout when she asked to literally do nothing.

Like her wife, the Jung’s aura was contagious.

(Also, like her daughter’s.)

Not that they treated her bad before but she felt like she was placed on a higher pedestal since attending school here. Even her nosy neighbors were giving her more respect than what was due. Her parents were showered with compliments on the regular.

It was like she was royalty.

\---

_“Ooof!”_

_Sooyoung grinned down at the queen she just threw down on the floor - not telling her where she had learned the move from - claiming victory once again. Jinsol was adamant in learning the ways of knighthood and Taeyang refused -_

_(“I’m not fighting a woman.”_

_“Your wife is a woman.”_

_“And I purposefully lose.”_

_“No you don’t.”)_

_Sooyoung was up for it. In a way, it boosted both of their egos. Sooyoung finally having an apprentice and Jinsol feeling like she could finally take on the beasts that murdered her wife’s parents in cold blood and almost deprived her of a marriage._

_To the delight of their significant others, it gave these two a chance to bond. They would prefer less violence though._

_(They were one to talk. Jiwoo and Jungeun slap-sparred every time they got the chance.)_

_“Enough! Get up!” One of them - who knows they were equally loud - stormed in._

_“We were just rough housing, Jungeun.”_

_“Rough castling,” Jinsol corrected._

_“You're right,” Sooyoung pulled Jinsol back up. “She’s improving immensely, Jungeun. Soon you won’t even need me. She can be your knight in shining armor.”_

_Jinsol grinned at Sooyoung talking her up._

_(Sooyoung promised Jiwoo she would. The bubbly woman was now settling her things after moving to the castle last evening.)_

_But Jungeun didn’t absorb them as endorsements. Jungeun brushed off the dreamy look on Jinsol’s face - maybe she was flipped too many times and the blood was rushing to her head - no way was she actually looking at her like that. After all, she had an after-hours visitor every night._

_An after-hours visitor with their high-pitched voice and their proper vocal training and their exemplary breath control._

_How was Jungeun supposed to sleep with that racket?_

_It was a racket that made Jinsol happy. She should want Jinsol’s happiness; she gave her a chance to still be with her own friends and family. _

_“I don’t need a knight in shining armor!”_

\---

“Hyejoo!”

Now that call Hyejoo knew was meant for her. She turned around at a smaller blonde stomping her way over.

Maybe rough-housing - or rough-castling Hyejoo came up in her mind, proud of her pun - ran in the family. The princess jabbed her in the shoulder and even with her pain tolerance, it hurt.

“Where have you been the last few days?”

Didn’t the girl ever hear about sick leave?

Looking down, she saw the same look when Chaewon was dressed to the nine’s. It was the same look she gave her when she returned after all these years. It was foolish of her to bid farewell to her parents before her cycle but not to the one girl who worried about her absence just as much.

“I’m sorry...”

Hyejoo hung her head.

“...Again.”

“Hey, it’s not significant, I was just worried about where you ran off to...”

The princess was worried about her?

“...I figured you were out with Hyunjin as a preliminary tryout but she came back earlier than you…”

The royal princess…

“...But then maybe I thought you were working the market or the wood shop…”

Made space in her mind…

“...but those were your mothers’ days off…”

To worry about..wait she remembered her schedule?

Hyejoo looked at the princess in a different light. It was too soon to be considered friends, she thought. The timeline of when one upgraded from an acquaintance to friend was hazy for her. This would be her first experience.

She wouldn’t lie too that she was familiar with the princess’ whereabouts. She purposefully entered the castle grounds on time to “run into” the princess so they can share the short walk to class.

(Vivi caught her posing awkwardly by the gargantuan betta fish statues. Maybe she should teach a lesson in how to be discreet.)

It was a small moment they shared but it made the rest of Hyejoo’s day brighter. Jinsol’s interlude took away that moment today but Chaewon was making up for it nicely.

“You remembered my mothers’ work schedules?”

Another poke in her shoulder.

“Only because we need to make up for lost time between us. We have yet to spend time together that doesn’t revolve about studying.”

“Well, I should be spending more time here.”

“And why is that?”

Chaewon liked having the upperhand in this conversation but didn’t mind Hyejoo taking over for a bit. But she was a fighter, always wanting the last word.

“I’m going to be...uh stationed as a knight...that is if I become one...not night like opposite of day...knight like Hyunjin...here in this castle where you live,” Hyejoo stuttered.

Whomever she inherited her useless-lesbianism from, Hyejoo was going to crush with her mattress.

\---

_Jinsol knocked different rhythms on the door, losing herself to the song she was creating._

_She didn’t expect Jiwoo to open the door._

_Oh right, Jungeun’s best friend was officially moved in as the queen’s official handmaiden. Jungeun got on fine without one - even Jinsol - but that was who Jiwoo was on paper._

_Jungeun was blushing, recovering from a giggling fit on her bed. Half eaten bowls of snacks littered the bed and floor. Jungeun didn’t even like messes. She must’ve really liked Jiwoo’s company._

_(Remember Jinsol, she’s only your wife on paper.)_

_Earlier that day, Jungeun stormed out of the training room, clearly peeved about something she did or something she said or maybe her in general. When she turned to Sooyoung for advice, all the other girl could do was shrug._

_But when she came to apologize, she felt her heart shatter instead._

_Jiwoo let out a knowing smile. Sooyoung disclosed what happened earlier as they unpacked her things._

_“We were just discussing childhood crushes.”_

_“Ahhhhh,” Jinsol responded, wondering how to talk herself out of leaving. “How fun.”_

_“Not really. Jungeun doesn’t have many if any at all. I’m doing most of the talking here.”_

_Jungeun was embarrassed by her recent outburst, not meeting Jinsol’s eyes. Her best friend was helping her feel better by telling her of this ridiculous dating class she took when she was an adolescent. In order to get along with the boy she was paired with, apparently Jiwoo pretended he was a piece of fried chicken._

_“What about you Jinsol?”_

_“What...about me?” Jinsol asked._

_Jungeun must’ve really hated her. She hadn’t looked her way once._

_“Any crushes?”_

_“A few.”_

_“....And?” Jiwoo resisted the urge to shove both of them into Jungeun’s walk-in closet and let fate play. She had only been there for twelve days and she was exasperated at this game Jinsol and Jungeun didn’t know they were participants in._

_Sooyoung already proposed to her in her time here and these two were far from acknowledging their feelings of attraction._

_“Nothing transpired.”_

_But then again the two didn’t even know Sooyoung and her were official either. Jinsol thought they were really good friends._

_“That’s too bad. If I may say so myself Your Majesty, you’re quite the catch,” Jiwoo flirted._

_The offended jaw drop Jungeun gave and the blush Jinsol radiated meant they were getting somewhere._

_They just needed an extra push._

\---

She was gone for five days and somehow all the Jungs wanted her attention.

Jungeun stopped her before she could enter the classroom.

Chaewon stared her mom down as she plucked Hyejoo from her arm.

Hyejoo apologized again for not being home when Jungeun visited the day before. Maybe if she was home earlier, the attack wouldn’t have happened. But the queen told her to stop with a wag of her finger, saying there were more pressing matters.

Before she knew it, Hyejoo had her arms up in the air - reminding her when they were up for a younger Jung - for uniform measurement.

Hyejoo didn’t even get summoned yet.

But Jungeun was so sure she would get the job.

Coming from a knight family, even with one knight, was advantageous to the selection process. And when Jungeun looked out the window when Haseul or Vivi had the girls learn archery or fencing or basic combat - they should really find a professional to teach that - Hyejoo had it down pat.

If Hyejoo was stationed at the castle, it would bring them all together once again.

And maybe with Hyejoo and Hyunjin out on duty, maybe Jinsol would be home more.

\---

_Jinsol looked left._

_Jinsol looked right._

_Jinsol looked up above her to make sure._

_Then her eyes scanned the journal in front of her. None of her textbooks had gone into such detail so this was brand new information. None of her board meetings with the head knights of her kingdom and the neighboring kingdoms had been so thorough._

_But as her eyes skimmed diagram upon diagram of the anatomy of a werewolf, she felt like a whole new world opened up for her._

_“Aunt Jinsol?”_

_Jinsol froze and turned to see Hyunjin looking at her curiously, wondering what the queen wanted to see in her notebook. She had gone for a quick carbohydrate (bread) break before brushing up on her notes._

_“I am terribly sorry for this.”_

_“No, no, it’s your castle. You may do as you please.”_

_“Now we both know I’m not that kind of queen.”_

_Jinsol was right. What other queen offered a separate sleeping quarters to her wife? Or asked to transfer her wife’s favorite employees? Or made counting the fish in their ponds an actual job?_

_“May I ask what you were looking at?” Hyunjin hoped her handwriting wasn’t too messy. She did draw most of those balancing her notebook on her knees while they set up camp a few kilometers from Exoland._

_“The ways to stop a werewolf.”_

_“Ah, well…” and as Hyunjin explained everything - their weaknesses, their flaws, their sleeping patterns - Jinsol felt like she gained insight into a world she had been denied._

_It wasn’t proper for a queen to know these things._

_So it came as a surprise when Jinsol asked for Hyunjin to ask Minho if she could accompany her on a raid - what queen even asked, she could just go - being the first royal to do so._

_Jinsol was right; she was not like any other queen._

\---

Having made the rounds greeting the castle staff, Jinsol looked around her office.

Her stack of portfolios in her bottom drawer - one purposefully slanted so she knew if anyone paid her space a surprise visit - left in the same position as normal. If Jinsol pursued higher education, she would’ve been quite the scholar. In her folders, a compilation of almost a decade of hard work and research. Slamming the drawer shut, she resumed her work, catching up on the developments in her own kingdom.

“You wanted to see me, Auntie?”

Jinsol closed her folder calmly, pushing it to the side and waited for her right-hand woman to stand before her.

“How is your vacation?” Jinsol asked, hoping the girl got her much needed rest.

“Could be shorter,” Hyunjin smirked.

She was still buzzing by what she witnessed in the woods a few days ago but wasn’t sure what to do with that information yet. And the one person she could turn to with inquiries about werewolves was in front of her.

But she was also the new girl’s unrelated aunt.

“I heard you left the castle,” Jinsol continued, oblivious to Hyunjin’s predicament.

Does she play dumb or…

“...I hope no trouble came accompanying Jungeun.”

Each secret she kept deepened the chasm that was developing between her and Jinsol. Their entire connection was built on one lie after another. She turned away from each of Jungeun’s breakdowns and turned away whenever Jinsol took a solo detour on their mission.

(“She doesn’t need to know that,” they would tell everyone in the castle.)

“There was one drunkard but Hyejoo fixed him up.” 

That seemed like a suitable response. She was more scared of Jinsol than Jungeun right now and eventually, Jinsol would’ve found out.

“Hyejoo?” The blonde leaned forward on her desk, not expecting this detail. “She never told me anything about that.”

“She was probably shy, Your Majesty. She doesn’t want any favoritism when it comes to knight summoning.”

Especially since you’re part of the selection team.

“I believe you’re right,” Jinsol said and excuse Hyunjin to enjoy her rest. Without homework or missions, Hyunjin could relax to her heart’s content.

That was the first time in years Hyunjin called Jinsol “Your Majesty” in private.

Opening her bottom drawer, Jinsol flipped through her research once more.

\---

_Jinsol was in tears when she found out she lost her custom earmuffs._

_One of the towns’ sheep herders made it for her for her fifteenth birthday and she lost them._

_Getting down on the floor, she crawled among the castle, bumping her head only four times. She touched carpeted floor which meant…_

_She was in her mother’s office._

_Knowing they couldn’t be there, she got up to dust her knees off but hit her head quite hard, forcing her to crouch back down to regain her balance._

_A sultry laugh entered the room. She wedged herself in the chair space underneath her mom’s desk until it was safe to come out. She used to hide there before when she was smaller so maybe her body would fit again._

_A body was thrown on the desk, folders and bottles and paper weights shoved to the floor._

_Were her moms fighting again? It had gotten to the point where they'd hurl furniture at the other._

_A scarf was unravelled and Jinsol caught sight of it floating to the floor. But her mothers didn’t own garments like that._

_It was too pink._

_“Shhhhhh, you need to keep your voice down,” Jessica whispered against her lover’s lips._

_Maybe her mom was branding someone - an outdated form of torture - on their neck. That would explain the clothes coming off._

_Anything other than what she couldn’t believe to be true._

_Tiffany shut herself up using Jessica’s lips._

_Jinsol wished she had those earmuffs now. Luckily, she would sneak out before things got out of hand._

\---

Hyejoo wrung her washcloth, watching the water go down the sink. She remembered when they lived in a cottage where the nearest bathroom was outside. When they reemerged to society after she learned control, proper drainage systems were implemented. Thank goodness for technology.

Jiwoo was cooking up a meal with the leftover venison Hyejoo brought home. One of the advantages was Hyejoo being able to give them meat after each of her transformations. It made up for her parents worried over her each time she left.

(Especially Sooyoung even if she didn’t want to admit it.)

“We’re proud of you.” Jiwoo said, knowing she could pick up her voice in their tiny bathroom.

Another advantage of being a werewolf.

“Huh?” Hyejoo yelled as she overturned the basin in their bathroom.

“Your mother and I are proud you had control with that village oaf. You’ve been doing well, Hyejoo.”

Hyejoo sheepishly exited the bathroom and helped her mother carry the pot to the table, thanking her for the compliment. Jiwoo didn’t miss the opportunity to hug her daughter from behind, giving her an onslaught of compliments and asking about her day. Hyejoo recounted her day at school, how the queens told her they would do everything in their favor to get her stationed at the castle.

(_“You’re really going to be a knight?!”_

_“Yes, Mom. Ack, you’re choking me.”_)

Sooyoung walked in on the sight and hugged Hyejoo from the front, riling her up for the hell of it. She would never admit how emotionally high-strung she was whenever their child left during the full moons. But her family knew. Especially when she’d shower Hyejoo with affection after every return.

Like now.

The two proud mothers laughed as Hyejoo growled - a sound they used to fear but found adorable whenever Hyejoo did it at their affection.

Kissing Hyejoo’s cheek and Sooyoung’s lips - Hyejoo growled again - Jiwoo couldn’t be more proud of her two knights.

\---

_Sooyoung looked at the card. Flipping it over and back again._

_She was reading it right._

_A knight card with an “R” standing for “Royal”. Strange as royals didn’t usually partake in battle, staying in the safety of the strategizing room (and annoyingly taking credit for big wins) so they must have invented this new ranking. She was probably the only one to have it due to her high ranking._

_Hyejoo was sleeping soundly on the other side of the bed, her body heat keeping the Ha couple snug and cozy. Jiwoo had shown Sooyoung the deck Hyejoo brought home after a filling dinner that their daughter bought with the rest of her winnings._

_Jinsol was a knight._

_Jinsol was a knight with a fifty-four wolf kill stat._

_They’ve heard the stories but now seeing it in writing, squinting at the text so they wouldn’t waste oil relighting their lamp, it was clear as day. Er, night. Knight?_

_Things must’ve gotten bad for a royal to risk their life. For their former best friend to put her life on the line._

_Jiwoo snuggled closer to her wife as they looked at Jinsol’s stoic portrait again, trying to find the sweet goofball that used to laugh heartily at the simplest of jokes._

_Hyejoo was almost seventeen and her last fourteen transformations happened smoothly. She found a secure spot far away that her mothers and she helped make “homely.” And she came back unscathed and with her knapsack filled with food for them to eat._

_Besides the hiccup today with the arm wrestling tournament, Hyejoo was more than ready to live with other people. She just needed the push. Maybe they could find an academy that accepted late bloomers._

_“What’s on your mind?”_

_“She’s different.”_

_“It’s just a card, love.”_

_“No, not Jinsol. Hyejoo.”_

_Jiwoo looked behind her shoulder to see Hyejoo fast asleep, hopefully blessed with good dreams to keep her in peace for long._

_“Sweetheart, she’s still the same,” Jiwoo tucked herself back into Sooyoung’s side, trying to help her relax so she could sleep longer. As soon as she saw the Jinsol card - Hyejoo shoving it into her face asking “Isn’t this Chaewon’s mom?” - Sooyoung remained stiff throughout dinner._

_They had a long shift tomorrow._

_And the next day._

_And the next day._

_“She’s different than the uncontrolled wolf she was before. No fights, no blood, no temper tantrums. No wait-- She did try to hurl a flower pot at the neighbor,” Sooyoung thought aloud, hugging Jiwoo close to her._

_(The neighbor insulted Jiwoo so for Sooyoung, the flower pot incident was justified.)_

_With the changes that were happening around them, one thing stayed constant: their longing for home._

_Seeing Jinsol again, it was enough to bring a nostalgia back for the two former Jung castle residents. Sooyoung had much on her mind about how much Hyejoo has grown; she needed to get this out because her wife deserved rest._

_So did she._

_“Darling, I think it’s time we go back to the Jung kingdom.”_

_Jiwoo inhaled sharply. She had wanted to go home for years and knew Sooyoung had too. But they didn’t want to make Hyejoo push herself to be “normal” just for them. She was never going to be normal and they accepted that. There had been zero mishaps of anyone finding out Hyejoo’s identity. They even lived next to a group of knights for months and no one was none the wiser._

_Hyejoo woke up to the murmurs of her mothers but kept quiet. She always knew they wanted something more even if they lived a fulfilling life. If they asked her to move, especially to a place near and dear to them, she’d say yes. She could come up with excuses each time she went out. She could find a new hideout. She could build another cage for herself._

_She was terrified of the queen and her right-hand but with the right amount of attention, she could maybe change their minds._

_Or maybe her mother can. Everyone loved her._

_A kiss was shared between her mothers and for once, Hyejoo didn’t grimace._

_Instead, a gnawing pain of guilt ate at her._

_“Get some sleep. We have to convince Hyejoo tomorrow before work.”_

_Hyejoo didn’t need any convincing._

_She didn’t want to hide anymore._

_She didn’t want her parents to go through life without seeing their best friends one last time._

_She didn’t want to break her promise to Chaewon._

_And maybe someone in the Jung kingdom would accept her for who she truly was._

\---

If one didn’t know any better, it was a triple date.

Having set up three wicker benches and a table in the gazebo, the older generation of the Jung castle, along with former staff, spent their lunch hour together.

The other castle dwellers (and a Hyejoo) took advantage of the weekend and slept in. Hyejoo was planning on spending the day with her labyrinths but Chaewon invited her for lunch. And for their age group, lunch on the weekend started in the afternoon.

Sooyoung and Jiwoo planned on walking with her but got too excited - well one of them was brimming with excitement - and dashed to the castle with fresh fruit from the market.

Haseul and Vivi had made spicy rice cakes at the crack of dawn, which was supposed to be for them, but Haseul saw Jiwoo sprinting up the hill - leaving Sooyoung staggering with all the baskets - and declared a picnic.

Vivi sighed lightly and agreed.

Jungeun and Jinsol brought out their finest wine in their lack of preparation - having slept in themselves.

Their ages didn’t erase their childishness at hearts. The three born within the same year commenced with a vaudeville charade. That left Jungeun, Jiwoo, and Vivi highly amused at their antics.

“Ahhh for table three?” Sooyoung swayed in, the plate of rice cakes slanting dangerously as she strutted. Jiwoo smushed her cheeks together, ignoring the attractiveness of her wife for fear that the food will fall.

“That table right there.” Haseul stood on the side, telling the pretend server where to go.

There was only one table, Vivi mused in her head.

Jinsol finished pouring out wine, creating her own sound effects as if the bottle was muted, and asked who ordered the massage.

“We don’t sell massages here,” Haseul grumbled.

Sooyoung and her shared a look. Jinsol always did this. They would all hang out and she’d superfocus on one person.

(“Not my fault you don’t have a beautiful wife,” Jinsol argued each time, making Jungeun blush all over.

Sooyoung would repeat the same sentence later.

Haseul needed to catch up.)

Before any of the three confused women could answer, Jinsol scooted behind Jungeun to pay attention to her fair maiden. Her fingers surprised with all the tension they found there.

“I’ll have what she’s having,” Jiwoo pointed in Jungeun’s direction.

Sooyoung relented - arms tired from delivering fruits - and got right to it. She opened her mouth so Jiwoo could feed her as payment. The carpenter winked as she took a bite from a strawberry, making Jiwoo giggle in her embrace.

Vivi smiled when she felt the only empty pair of hands on her shoulders, not wanting to be upstaged by the others.

She didn’t even need to ask.

\---

_“Good evening Haseul and Jungeun,” Jinsol acknowledged._

_She heard talking outside her door and wanted to tell them to tone it down. It reminded her too much of her parents arguing loudly when they thought she was sleeping._

_What she didn’t expect was to see Haseul and Jungeun._

_Together._

_She thought Jungeun was interested in Jiwoo. But Jungeun looked like she was caught in a trap._

_“IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!” Haseul defended, pushing away from the both of them._

_(Jiwoo and Sooyoung had joined Vivi listening in on the stairwell and the original Kim castle representatives face palmed.)_

_Before Haseul could speak her piece, she was dragged down into the stairwell, leaving the wives who were acting like strangers standing in the hallway._

_Jungeun wanted to apologize for her behavior earlier._

_Jinsol wanted to apologize for ruining her time with Jiwoo._

_Jungeun wanted to apologize for giving Jinsol the wrong impression._

_Jinsol wanted to apologize for overstepping her boundaries._

_Jungeun wanted to apologize for not being the most honest of wives._

_Jinsol wanted to apologize for putting high expectations on their relationship._

_(Vivi and Sooyoung were using much of their strength to keep Jiwoo from marching up there and mediating the conversation herself. It had been a whole thirty seconds and the queens haven’t said a word.)_

_“I’m sorry--”_

_“No I’m sorry, no you go.”_

_“No you go.”_

_“It’s your castle.”_

_“Yours too.”_

_“Right.”_

_“Jungeun…”_

_“Yes?”_

_“My behavior earlier, I would like to apologize for. I never meant to doubt your own self defense. You have a knight. That’s what Sooyoung is for.” Jinsol found the floor fascinating at the moment._

_The past few days, Haseul has been coaching her to confess to Jungeun by singing her different love songs throughout the centuries. Jinsol was never good with words so Haseul said people used to serenade their crushes outside their windows._

_(“Haseul, her window is too high.”)_

_It was comforting. How could it not be when Haseul sounded like an angel? Jinsol was learning there were different ways to word her feelings rather than her default “wow.” She felt like tonight would be the night but today’s events set her back._

_“No, Jinsol. It’s not that. I just don’t want you to feel like you need to defend me,” Jungeun almost reached out for her hands._

_Almost._

_She’s never stared at Jinsol for so long before. God, she was so beautiful. Jiwoo and Sooyoung and Vivi were right. She really lucked out on her marriage._

_“But you’re my wife.”_

_That was the first time Jinsol addressed them as such in private. It was always “Jungeun” or “Your Majesty.”_

_“And I’m yours.”_

_Jinsol’s neck snapped to make sure she wasn’t hearing things. Did Jungeun just call her her wife?_

_(Sooyoung held a hand over her fiance's mouth to keep her from squealing out loud. Vivi was doing the same to Haseul.)_

_“...And the thought of you getting hurt scares me,” Jungeun confessed._

_If Jinsol ever had to suffer what she went through, what she was going through, what Vivi still didn’t have answers to, it would break her. In that moment, Jungeun realized why she took so long to be this vulnerable with Jinsol._

_Jinsol only knew what people told her about herself. Her surface qualities. She knew small tidbits about her childhood and her interests - it was sweet when Jinsol was curious. But did Jinsol know that she sometimes cried herself to sleep at night? That she woke up drenched in sweat? That if she was in the woods too long, she felt like the oxygen around her vanished?_

_(Jinsol knew and whenever Vivi left Jungeun’s door ajar, Jinsol would too. The physician not-so-secretly camped out in their shared office and whenever she’d run to Jungeun’s rescue, Jinsol would pathetically cover her head with pillows to block out the noises of Jungeun suffering.) _

_No, because if Jinsol knew that, then she would know that she married someone that wasn’t the Kim Jungeun people raved about. Her chic idol image was a farce. With all the effort Jinsol has put in, she couldn’t disappoint her. She couldn’t show her that her wife was not the woman she expected._

_“Does it hurt as much as I do when I know that you still suffer from your attack alone?” Jinsol admitted._

_(Why didn’t any of Haseul’s ballads cover the angst of witnessing your wife break down nights in a row?)_

_Jinsol saw Jungeun clam up and tried to think of what to say. All she wanted was for Jungeun to trust her. She knew she loved Jungeun and if the feelings were one-sided, she would face it. She just wanted the pain to stop. Even if it meant getting rid of all werewolves. (Well hiring someone to do that. She wasn’t as equipped to take on such a task.)_

_“I want to be ready if that ever happened to you again,” Jinsol backtracked. “Not that I’m thinking it will-- What a terrible thing for me to say. But I want to be prepared. Like having a helmet when you joust.”_

_(Haseul and Jiwoo’s screams were muffled.)_

_“Let me in, Jungeun,” Jinsol said with such a soft intensity, Jungeun felt her breath escape her._

_Jinsol was sure hers left as well._

_“I just want to be a good wife to you.”_

_“You already are.”_

_That night, when Jungeun woke up in a cold sweat, they shared their first kiss: Jinsol brushing her lips sweetly to Jungeun’s temple. She whispered sweet nothings and rubbed her back to help Jungeun fall asleep again._

_And fall in love with Jinsol for the first time._

\---

“Hi, honey!” Sooyoung and Jiwoo waved obnoxiously to Hyejoo climbing the castle steps.

Hyejoo shielded her face with one hand, pretending that the right side of her vision did not exist. Chaewon, dressed a little too fancy for a weekend, poked her head out the doors and waved back, making Jiwoo and Sooyoung wave harder at the princess. Jinsol and Jungeun joined but Chaewon copied Hyejoo’s earlier movement and pretended that her parents didn’t exist.

Kids.

“If Hyejoo gets into the knight program, there is a chance she could be stationed here,” Jungeun shrugged.

“Why does that not surprise me?” Jiwoo laughed, taking a bite off a strawberry, pouting when Sooyoung finished it off for her, winking as she did so.

“She’s pretty good at archery I’ve heard,” Jinsol contributed.

“She’s decent,” Sooyoung downplayed, kissing her pouting wife. They had to pass Hyejoo off as normal until after her training.

“I’ve heard Hyejoo can shoot five bullseyes in a row,” Jinsol defended her friend’s daughter.

“That’s nothing. Chaewon can shoot ten on horseback,” Sooyoung shot back.

“I’ve heard that Hyejoo can do labyrinth mazes blindfolded.”

“Nothing like Chaewon who can start a fire without flint.”

“Are they bragging about each other’s children?” Haseul whispered to her seatmate whom she hasn’t stopped massaging. Jinsol and Sooyoung had stopped two wine glasses ago.

“I believe so,” Vivi said, feeling much lighter. She knew it wasn’t the alcohol.

Jungeun and Jiwoo put a stop to their wives arguing - making them apologize - which was puzzling but adorable. They settled back into their seats as they heard a ruckus in their kitchen and the sound of someone having a coughing fit.

“This is nice isn’t it?” Jiwoo spoke up, getting the attention of the circle of friends - hoping Jungeun and Jinsol could hear her over their nose kissing. “Us hanging out like old times.”

“You know what else would remind me of old times?” Sooyoung grinned.

“Oh are you looking for a challenger?” Jinsol reacted quickly.

“Sweetheart, you just got back from your trip,” Jungeun tugged Jinsol down. She was not done nuzzling her.

(It terrified her how clingy she was getting. How was Jinsol not annoyed with her by now?)

Haseul and Vivi cleared the plates, knowing what was to come.

Haseul had to fetch the equipment.

Vivi had to get her first aid kit ready.

Sooyoung would have to ask for an extra suit.

Jinsol needed to warm up.

Jungeun and Jiwoo were in-between wanting to watch or put a stop while it’s early. Whenever Sooyoung and Jinsol got fired up, there was no telling how it would end.

The royal queen and the ex-knight were about to have a fencing bout.

  


**NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: NEXT FULL MOON**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q (ourtuneisohigh): Lipsoul Nation make some noise! It's about time we got Jinsol home and an unnie line scene and they honestly write themselves. I apologize for anyone hurt reading Jungeun's exposition but I won't hurt her too much. Maybe. (N won't let me.) What're your predictions of what'll happen during Sooyoung and Jinsol's fencing match? Thanks so much for reading and all your support. [Twitter](https://twitter.com/0TlSH)
> 
> N (LazyNinja): This chapter hit differently after recent events so we made the warning. Hope you are okay and if you need to talk please shoot us a message. Taking care of your mental health is a daily struggle, do your best. Hope you enjoyed Jinsoul returning home and more family moments. Let us know what you want from the fencing bout coming up~ Thanks again for reading. Take care. [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_LazyNinja_) | [CC](https://curiouscat.me/_LazyNinja_)


	8. Heart Attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Format as follows:**
> 
> _Italics: Past_  
  
Straight (but really gay): Present  

> 
> ****  


If Heejin were awake, she might cry for what was about to happen to her spotless kitchen.

Breaking out two sets of the biggest mortar and pestles, the pair of troublemakers got to work grinding the fruits and vegetables they wanted to use. Hyejoo could have easily carried all the fruits Sooyoung and Jiwoo purchased - and wouldn’t have sore muscles like her mother - but she slept in. Lost in a dream that she could’ve just woken up earlier to experience in real life.

A real hangout session with a real friend.

Hyejoo and Chaewon had decided to combine their favorite past times: eating and competing. Per Chaewon’s creativity, they were having a smoothie making contest. Whoever made the best smoothie won. They didn’t know what yet but they’d come up with a prize later.

Hyejoo was a bit terrified as she heard more than grinding on the other side of the table, the distinct sound of a knife hitting a cutting board.

Having lived in the woods for quite some time - and a few days per month - she knew what fruits and berries tasted good together.

“Here you go!” Chaewon announced proudly.

Hyejoo looked inside the cup. A murky orange slush sloshed at its sides. She looked over at Chaewon’s preparation table and couldn’t make a meaning of the mess. Was that a vegetable stalk?

She took her cup and handed it to Chaewon who jumped up and down in excitement as if she wasn’t wined and dined at the castle on a daily basis.

She truly was one of a kind.

“What’s in it?” Chaewon salivated at the peach colored mixture. It smelled delicious and Hyejoo looked so proud of her creation.

“Raspberries, bananas, and apples,” Hyejoo giggled as Chaewon’s eyes widened at each fruit she listed. “And mine?”

“Carrots, apples, and ginger!”

Hyejoo really hoped Chaewon meant one ingredient per drink and there were two separate cups hiding behind her back. But with the hope in Chaewon’s eyes, Hyejoo knew she was going to drink it anyway because it would make Chaewon happy.

When did she turn into her mother?

(You know which one.)

“Well you said you like carrot juice, your hairstyle today kind of looks like an apple, and when you’re sick, your mother made you ginger tea. You took sick leave last week so...”

She would’ve sighed at Chaewon’s thoughtfulness if the brownish puree wasn’t in front of her face. Using her best acting, Hyejoo took a sip. The sly glint in Chaewon’s eyes as she downed her delightful drink made Hyejoo feel like she was duped.

“You want a taste?” Hyejoo offered innocently.

“Oh I’m kind of full,” Chaewon clutched her stomach, scrunching her face more than necessary.

Hyejoo did her best pout, channeling her inner Jiwoo. Chaewon froze on sight wanting to make it go away.

When did she turn into her mother?

(You know which one.)

She took a drink of her recreation and grimaced. Her prank had backfired. But Hyejoo cackling so hard she fell into her shoulder was worth it.

\---

_“You drink your carrots?”_

_“I wouldn’t eat them so they had to find another way.”_

_Ten-year-old Chaewon and nine-year-old Hyejoo were sitting at the kids’ table of the party. They hadn’t separated since Jiwoo sent them off and everyone found it sweet. (Except Yeojin who felt like her princess was taken away from her.)_

_“Yeah, sometimes my mom takes the extra fruit and vegetables she doesn’t sell and makes smoothies for mom and me.”_

_Jiwoo had turned her little produce stall into a cafe - using her time when she wasn’t busy to make fruit juices. She even found time to make a little wall for her daughter inside one of her fruit crates._

_(Sooyoung was only a little jealous. The next week Jiwoo to show that she made a crate wall for her too which sometimes Sooyoung would place in front of Hyejoo’s box whenever the girl threatened to kill her.)_

_Chaewon admired the way Hyejoo talked about her family._

_Unlike some kids she knew - not the ones in the castle as they were as sweet as the Western kingdoms’ delicacy they call cinnamon rolls - Hyejoo never complained about what little she had._

_In fact, during dinner, she thought she had too much._

_(Hyunjin accepted the extra food.)_

_Hyejoo was everything she hoped to be and also how she wished all her friends - those now and those she’d end up meeting in the future with all the traveling her moms promised her - would be._

_Chaewon wished she could keep her._

\---

“Alright, remember this is just a friendly match. Please don’t get too competitive hon,” Jungeun helped secure Jinsol’s chest plate. 

“Jungeun, love, I’ll be fine,” Jinsol dusted her fingers over her epee.

It’s been a while since she spared with someone (other than Hyunjin). It was a nice change of pace to be fighting someone that wasn’t a werewolf or a suspected one. The whole kingdom wasn’t waiting for her return with a head on a stake. Instead, it was her friends and family watching and cheering. 

“I just don’t want her to hurt you.”

It would be nice to see what skills Jinsol had learned abroad. Her wife was making the many kingdoms safer and she couldn’t be more proud. Jungeun didn’t know the full details on what she did on these trips nor didn’t she need to. But talk around town was plenty. They were both adults and could handle themselves. Yeojin never stopped talking about her wife’s kills like she was present so Jungeun had a small taste of the justice Jinsol was serving.

It was the same Jinsol that came home, absolved of violence and fear tactics. Hyunjin seemed the same albeit her need to constantly flex her nobility.

If Jinsol was a monster, she wouldn’t have cuddled her last night or this morning or this afternoon.

Right?

\---

_“They are so frustrating!”_

_“Uh-huh.”_

_“And you’re not even listening to me?” Jiwoo huffed, turning away from her girlfriend._

_This conversation was not what Sooyoung would consider welcome home friendly but Jiwoo always surprised her. Ever since they met, Sooyoung could never really predict what would happen with the ball of sunshine around. It was a complete one-eighty from her rigorous daily routine she adhered to as a knight._

_Even now, sleeping in Jiwoo’s new bedroom in the Jung castle - which of course Sooyoung would be spending her nights in instead of the shared knights’ dormitory outside - Jiwoo and her should’ve been exchanging sweet “I love yous.”_

_But Jiwoo wanted to complain about their useless friends._

_“Why is it our business what Jinsol and Jungeun do? Or don’t do? I’m as frustrated as you are…”_

_The amount of times Sooyoung had to catch Jungeun from falling off the stairs after seeing Jinsol dressed in their new imported clothes was baffling. Jinsol had recently found the water-themed clothing trend going around the land. Her new piece, a sea green and blue dragon surrounded with waves on a silk button up, tucked lazily into her dress pants, almost made Jungeun make her attraction known to everyone._

_Except Jinsol of course._

_“We can’t rush them. They have to figure this out themselves. No one helped us…”_

_(As if Jungeun didn’t have to force flowers into Sooyoung’s hands to get her to visit Jiwoo’s house.)_

_“...and look where it got us. I mean, soon we’ll be sleeping in the same room. We’ll be sharing a closet. We’ll be engaged.”_

_“ENGAGED?!” Jiwoo had completely let go of her worries over her friends to focus on her own life._

_Now it was Sooyoung’s turn to face the other direction, hoping she could sleep to get out of this one. But Jiwoo’s excitement behind her said otherwise. Jiwoo returned the embrace._

_“You think about marrying me, Sooyoungie?” Jiwoo blew on the back of Sooyoung's neck._

_“N-…..no.”_

_Sometimes her girlfriend can be frustrating too._

\---

Hyejoo and Chaewon were on their third smoothie round.

They completely forgot the competition and were instead making the grossest combinations they could come up with. They straightened up once the doors opened and Haseul and Vivi rushed in with the picnic supplies from their gazebo luncheon.

“Have a good lunch?” Hyejoo asked.

“Of course. Have a good...whatever this is?”

It was like a cannon fired through the kitchen - usually what happened whenever Chaewon decided to cook - but the teachers trusted the girls would clean up after themselves. Getting to know them as teachers and their mothers as friends, Haseul and Vivi noticed the similarities.

Hyejoo had Jiwoo’s smiling laughter and Sooyoung’s boisterous bravery.

Chaewon had Jungeun’s gentleness and Jinsol’s creativity.

What Haseul and Vivi also caught on were similar looks in their eyes when exchanging their glasses of who-knows-what. It was the same glances they were trying to get away from outside. Did Hyejoo even remember she asked them a question? The Ha daughter quickly fell back into laughter with Chaewon like Haseul and Vivi just strolled by.

Those looks.

Hyejoo looked at Chaewon the way Sooyoung and Jinsol looked at their wives.

Chaewon looked at Hyejoo the way Jungeun and Jiwoo looked at theirs.

(If Haseul and Vivi had a mirror, they would see they also mirrored the same joyful expression.)

“You know, your moms will be fighting,” Vivi interjected, wondering if the girls would like some entertainment with their...meals.

“Fighting?” Hyejoo froze. Did Jinsol find out already?

“A fencing bout,” Haseul clarified seeing the look of terror in Hyejoo’s eyes.

Vivi recognized that look too.

It was the same expression Sooyoung had when she was caught in a sticky situation.

\---

_“And hello to you too,” Vivi grinned as Sooyoung scrambled around the kitchen._

_“Quick! Where are the candles? They’re here right?” Sooyoung panted, opening every drawer and cabinet in the room._

_Jiwoo had fallen asleep in her arms, fortunately allowing their conversation to remain as awkward as she left it. But she knew that as soon as Jiwoo would wake up, she’d ask again. She was persistent and would demand to get her way._

_Snapping out of her thoughts, Sooyoung needed to fix the situation before it got out of hand._

_“And what do you need candles for?”_

_“I’m going to propose to Jiwoo!” Sooyoung blurted like it was everyday sentence._

_Vivi grabbed the knight’s frantic hands and got her to look at her, liking how much power she had over so many of the castle residents. She even got Haseul under her spell._

_(Maybe Haseul had a weak aura.)_

_“Sooyoung, are you proposing to Jiwoo because you want to or because you’re scared?”_

_Sooyoung met Vivi’s eyes, confused at how she was able to get her to calm down so quickly._

_What Jiwoo asked scared her. Sooyoung was sure the trajectory of her life was constant. She would become a knight, pay off her parents’ debts, and become better than what the townspeople thought she was: a tailor’s daughter and an exterminator’s prodigy. But somewhere along the way, a girl showed up._

_But rather than putting a damper on her plans, she made it better. Sooyoung cried when Jungeun asked her to follow her, knowing her allegiance would make her go. (Jiwoo said she had to or she’d end their relationship.)_

_How was Jiwoo always so sure?_

_Any time she went out on missions, Jiwoo was always sure she’d come back._

_Even with Sooyoung moving to the Jung castle. Jiwoo knew this would be temporary. A stroke of luck and Jinsol invited Jiwoo as well._

_She was always sure and Sooyoung was flailing._

_Which is why she had to do this._

_She was trained to be brave. And even if her slip of the tongue led her to this, she had never been more sure of anything than of marrying Jiwoo in that instance._

\---

“You haven’t fenced in a long time, honey,” Jiwoo reasoned but still tightened the leg strap on Sooyoung’s jacket.

She fit snug into Hyunjin’s outfit with some breathing room. She had to roll up Hyunjin’s sleeves.

(Hyunjin and the rest of the castle residents had gotten wind of the fight and were gathered close to the piste to watch. The seneschal would referee.)

“Don’t worry. It’s like riding a horse. You just gotta get back on it and do it again,” Sooyoung said, twisting her own weapon with her wrist to get comfortable with the hand guard.

It’s been a while since she’s used a real weapon. Hyejoo and her would rough house - or “rough cottage” as Sooyoung would say but with makeshift weapons. Hyejoo was lucky to have fast healing. Sooyoung, not so much.

Jiwoo didn’t know how much wine her wife had - getting lost in her lovely massage and gossip with Vivi and Jungeun - but who was she to stop her?

Fencing and horse riding were two different categories.

Whenever Sooyoung set her eyes on something - Jiwoo held in a smile as she wanted to say she herself as the best example - Sooyoung stopped at nothing until she got it.

\---

_“YOU ASKED THEM TO LOOK OVER MY APPLICATION PERSONALLY?”_

_Sooyoung was livid._

_How could they do this to her? She wanted to move up in the world based on merit and skill, not partisanship._

_Sunmi buried her head in her hands as she got a deserved scolding. She had used her personal connections to move her daughter’s name up the waiting list for knight training. She was doing what was best for her family._

_(Something Sooyoung would end up repeating many times.)_

_Having designed Yubin and Hyelim’s wedding gowns, she had formed a close friendship with the two, being their point person for clothes and (sometimes their therapist alongside their arranged marriage). Their friendly gatherings were held off once Sooyoung was born but they never forgot the commoner._

_Sooyoung stomped around petulantly and hated how small their house was. She couldn’t get any further than her mother._

_“I WANT TO DO THIS ON MY OWN!”_

_“Sooyoung--”_

_“WHY DON’T YOU BELIEVE IN ME?”_

_“Who says I don’t believe in you,” Sunmi was right behind her daughter. Not reaching out yet. “I didn’t stop you when you said you wanted to be a knight. When I took you to that roller derby to get that cute girl’s house number…”_

_Sooyoung turned around scandalized. Sunmi turned her back around to continue her speech._

_“I just don’t want you to struggle anymore.”_

_Realizing they both said the same thing, Sunmi and Sooyoung faced each other in a new understanding._

\---

Hyunjin had seen Jinsol fight countless times, having learned a few tricks from the queen first hand. But this Sooyoung was a mystery to her.

She was told the former knight and her wife Jiwoo used to watch over her as a child. Sooyoung had once told her she would like a daughter as brave as her one day. It was near impossible for non-royals to have a child among same gender couples but Sooyoung and Jiwoo prevailed.

She doesn’t remember much about their time here and their brief visit during Chaewon’s tenth birthday party but the queens never said a bad word about them.

That’s not to say for a while Hyunjin was angry at them for being one of the last people to see her parents alive.

But all the adults in the castle advised her to redirect her anger. Vivi recommended taking a break from training. Haseul recommended channeling her emotions in music. Jungeun recommended new hobbies. Jinsol recommended just blaming the werewolves.

Taking a look at Hyejoo settling in next to Chaewon, Hyunjin wondered if Sooyoung got what she wanted.

When one was ‘gifted’ with wolf hypersenses, how could one not be brave?

“Hyunjin!” Jinsol called out behind the mask. “Remember that tournament over in Kwon?” 

Jinsol and her stopped in to watch the tournament with Jinsol whispering to Hyunjin that she could take them. Hyunjin agreed as the queen was highly skilled, having a watery flow to her movements that people weren’t used to. But Jinsol corrected her and said she was talking about the young knight, offering her a motherly smile.

“What about it?”

“The referees spoke in French. Do you remember it?”

Hyunjin had picked up so many skills and dialects, French was long forgotten. She didn’t need it much in the kingdoms she visited.

“Heejin can speak French!” Haseul offered, happy to boast about the young chef.

All heads turned to the head cook who was flattered but nervous, that would mean she would have to stand beside…

“Hyunjin! Have Heejin ref with you,” Yerim volunteered.

Chaewon and Yeojin shared a look knowing Yerim was up to something. Hyejoo, eyes furrowed, felt Chaewon squeeze her hand, nonverbally telling her she’d inform her later. 

(Since when did they develop an unspoken language?)

The cook got up from her spot on the bench, allotting Yeojin more leg room, and stood beside the knight.

\---

_“What the devil is ‘Miserable Lesbians?’” Yeojin asked._

_“Les Miserables!” Heejin huffed and snatched her book away from the nosy girl. _

_A new import of books was gifted from the Eastern Kingdom education administrator and the non-royal girls took advantage of something to busy themselves with._

_Yeojin couldn’t make sense of the words as there were different marks over the vowels. Thinking it was dust, she tried blowing some off, spit unknowingly getting on Yerim’s face. Vivi and Haseul merely shook their heads as they matched the new arrivals with the inventory list._

_“I think there are smudges on this book.”_

_“It’s French,” Vivi explained, knowing exactly who the book was for. “Those are accents.”_

_French was an elective at their program which only Heejin opted in. After the attack, Heejin grew wary of leaving the castle. They all did, not wanting to leave unless they were with at least two other people. Unfortunately, Jungeun suffered the most, forever existing within castle walls._

_For Heejin, it came with a reality check that those dreams of her traveling were implausible.._

_(Especially since the one person who she wanted to travel with forgot they were friends.)_

_So Heejin pretended._

_Pretended that those books she read were worlds she lived in._

_Pretended that those new languages would be put to good use._

_(Pretended that Hyunjin didn’t hate her.)_

_Vivi and Haseul hoped at least one of those would be true._

\---

Sooyoung and Jinsol fitted their face masks on - Jinsol clumsily putting hers upside down until Jungeun got up to help her - and found their footing behind their on guard lines.

They had gained an audience. Hyejoo and Chaewon huddled in one corner on Jinsol’s side. (Sooyoung slightly saddened by this but Jiwoo reminded her - fixing her own backwards chestplate - that they’re just sitting together as friends. When Hyejoo gave a loud “GO MOM!” Sooyoung’s mood perked.) Yerim and Yeojin sat on Sooyoung’s side, evening out numbers. Jungeun and Jiwoo sat smack dab in the middle, respectively on their wives’ sides but supporting both. Haseul and Vivi were behind them in their home kingdoms sides.

That left Hyunjin and Heejin in the middle on the other side of the piste.

“EN GARDE?” Hyunjin checked with Heejin.

Heejin nodded, trying not to get shy around Hyunjin. She was in clear sight of the younger rascals and she was sure with how much time Hyejoo was spending with Chaewon, she would join forces with them.

(Heejin couldn’t hide her smile when Hyunjin fist pumped herself getting one French phrase correct.)

“I don’t know the rest,” Hyunjin admitted.

Jungeun, Vivi, Haseul, and Jinsol - behind her mask - held in a smile. It was a rare occurrence for Hyunjin to get shy. The more Jinsol thought about it, when was the last time Hyunjin spent time with Heejin? Surely she wasn’t giving her too many jobs.

Heejin stood behind Hyunjin to change her hand positions to match her words (effectively hiding her blushing face behind Hyunjin).

“Pret.”

Jinsol snapped back to position.

Sooyoung smiled at another “Go mom!” from Hyejoo.

Heejin snapped Hyunjin’s arms back to her side to signal the first round. Hyunjin wasn’t used to being commanded by someone other than Minho and Jinsol but this felt nice.

“Allez.”

\---

_Heejin squinted as she tried to finish her novel. She needed to know what happened to the leaf village since Jiraiya’s murder. A door creak pulled her from her reading and she hid the novel underneath her pillow. Vivi has already warned her enough about her eye health. She pinched her eyes closed to make believe she was asleep._

_“Hyun?” Yerim called from her bunk._

_“Shhhh, sorry did I wake you?” Hyunjin whispered._

_“You’re back late again.”_

_“I know, I know.”_

_“Did you get muscles?”_

_Hyunjin flexed as Yerim squinted in the dark. It’s only been a few weeks when she started training but Yerim always remained positive. The older sister couldn’t understand how but she prayed Yerim kept that perspective throughout her life._

_“When you’re a knight, you’ll be home more right?” Yerim asked hopefully._

_Since their parents’ death, it was like the eldest was in and out of the castle faster than Yerim could blink. They had never seen her so frantic before. When was the last time Hyunjin felt at home?_

_Heejin did her best to appear she was sleeping, wondering the same question. When was the last time Hyunjin and her exchanged more than decent pleasantries?_

_Yerim wanted to tell Hyunjin that she would be joining Chaewon in school. Haseul and Vivi would be the new teachers. Heejin and Yeojin would also be in school with them. The sleepy girl wanted to ask her sister if there was a chance her sister would be joining them too._

_Didn’t Hyunjin miss them?_

_Hyunjin kissed her sister’s forehead, brushing back her brown hair._

_With the new staff cuts and losses, each order of chivalry was scrambling to meet their quota. It meant recruiting younger and younger people. Hyunjin just met the new age limit, having turned thirteen a few days before Chaewon’s tenth birthday._

_She wanted to continue her family’s legacy at first. Coming from generations of nobility, she took it upon herself to be a knight. She wanted the adventures and the traveling and the applause when she rode in on her noble steed._

_But her modus operandi had shifted._

_She wanted to make sure her sister had a permanent stay at the castle._

_She wanted her sister to always remain positive._

_She wanted to make those responsible for that fateful night pay._

_The traveling and applause were supplemental._

_(The one she wanted to travel with anyone - who was sleeping soundly by the steady rise and fall of her back - needed to stay in the castle. It was for her own good.)_

_“Maybe, little bat, maybe. Now go to sleep.”_

\---

Sooyoung fought on the attack at first, startling her opponent and then falling back (usually when she realized she overstepped.)

(Very similar to her flirting style.)

Jinsol always retreated until she was sure - more than completely sure - she could come in for the attack. She often crossed the end line by retreating too much.

(Very similar to her flirting style.)

But this Jinsol was not the same Jinsol that Sooyoung fought and trained more than a decade ago. Jinsol lunged on the attack first, getting her first touch in a matter of milliseconds.

This Jinsol’s style was different than before.

Jinsol rarely executed a remise but she had used that strategy for the past three rounds, making Sooyoung exercise parry after parry. This Jinsol was almost unbeatable. Whenever Jinsol scored, she used to give victorious “yeah” behind her mask.

No such sound followed this time.

Was she taking this friendly bout seriously?

Sooyoung was heaving. She did heavy lifting at the woodshop and she hadn’t seriously fought in years but Jinsol was not letting up. Sooyoung didn’t want to think about how unfair it was. Even the other castle dwellers cheered for her to keep her morale.

“You got this Aunt Sooyoung,” Chaewon cheered, hoping Hyejoo wasn’t down because her mom was losing badly.

“Un. Der. Dog. Un. Der. Dog,” Yeojin chanted, getting Yerim to follow her.

“You got this darling,” Jiwoo cheered.

“You got this Mom,” Hyejoo added in. “Crush her like I want to crush you.”

“HYEJOO!”

“Mom, I’m only joking.”

(Jungeun knew she should cheer for her wife but unlike before, Jinsol was winning by a landslide.)

Sooyoung blocked out the sounds to block yet another attack. This Jinsol was different. This Jinsol was on a hunting spree. This Jinsol would do anything for her daughter to be dead.

“Pointe!”

Chaewon cheered quietly.

Hyejoo groaned.

Sooyoung was terrified that this is how Jinsol fought on the front lines.

(So was Jungeun.)

No wonder they had invented a new rank of Knight card for the Queen in front of her.

Jinsol and Sooyoung have yet to have a serious conversation about Sooyoung’s disappearance. 

Jinsol let her thoughts wander as her muscle memory kept her weapon in action. Maybe Sooyoung was bluffing when she said she hasn’t fought in a while. Sooyoung proved herself a well-trained opponent, never backing down once. Jinsol recalled that her and her family stayed in a cottage while recovering so Sooyoung and Jiwoo must’ve done a lot of labor to keep themselves alive.

Jinsol was told Sooyoung’s crest was found outside the Kim castle entrance and they honorably discharged her. Jiwoo’s fruit stand was taken over by distant relatives looking for refuge from their own kingdom after wolves took over their crops.

But unlike Jinsol, Sooyoung didn’t seem to harbor any hatred towards wolves. She had yet to say one bad word against them.

Maybe that’s where Sooyoung got her drive.

Channeling her inner hatred to inspire her to live a better life.

Jinsol found it commendable.

This was good practice for later, realizing this was the longest Jinsol’s been at the castle for a while now. This entire day was heaven sent. She woke up in her wife’s arms, greeted her daughter good morning, had a lovely lunch with old friends...Jinsol was on the brink of realizing where her devotions truly lied until...

A growl echoed in her ears.

And Jinsol felt like she was in the woods again.

And she snapped.

\---

_“It’s dead! It’s dead! Auntie, stop!”_

_Hyunjin had to tackle Jinsol to the blood-stained snowy terrain to try to get her to stop. The wolf was already dead by Jinsol’s close range arrow. But that didn’t stop Jinsol from leaping off her horse, landing quite dangerously on her ankles - it would sprain but Jinsol couldn’t feel a thing._

_All she could feel was rage inside her body._

_It was this vile beast that ended her best knights’ marriage and orphaned their daughters._

_Killed some of her closest friends and their daughter and left no evidence of the lives they led._

_Almost deprived her of her happy marriage and her own beautiful teenage girl._

_Scared her entire kingdom into peril and made them doubt even their sweetest of neighbors._

_The reason why her wife’s nightmares were returning and why her beautiful Jungeun couldn’t spend a day without rocking back and forth in fetal position._

_Each hack of her knife wasn’t enough to undo the untold damages these monsters have caused to so many._

_Blood splattered against her face, a metallic pungency polluting the air, yet Jinsol hacked and hacked and hacked._

\---

“HALT! How do you say that in French?”

“It’s still halte.”

“HALTE! Aunt Jinsol enough!” Hyunjin begged, violently shaking her aunt. She had to tear off her mask to get her to look into her eyes.

She couldn’t get like this in front of the castlehold.

In front of her wife.

In front of her daughter.

Sooyoung fell to her knees when the blade sliced through her wrist. Jinsol wasn’t kidding when she said the weapons haven’t been used in a while. From her expertise, it was likely rust or a burr.

It shouldn’t have stung that bad.

But the sheer speed of Jinsol’s flying lunge startled Sooyoung. Hyunjin’s big handed glove cleared a small amount of space on her forearm for the blade to slice through. She was staining the hem of her sleeve with her blood. She would’ve felt a bigger hit if Hyunjin didn’t step in.

(Hyejoo’s nose flared at the copper smell in the air. She could almost taste it. She buried herself into Chaewon’s shoulder to hide, faking that she was worried about her mother.

She was. But not to the extent she was pretending.)

Everyone else was at a standstill.

“She’s bleeding,” Hyunjin said, trying to find Jinsol’s eyes and make them refocus.

“How do you…” Heejin inquired. How could Hyunjin see Sooyoung’s cut from where they were standing? Jinsol had backed her almost to the end line before delivering her final attack from the midline.

“I just know,” Hyunjin took note of Hyejoo’s reaction but directed her attention back to the fencer. “Aunt Jinsol, please.. it’s over, you’re home.”

Jinsol snapped out of her reverie blinking away her blurry vision.

When did she get in the castle?

Why was Sooyoung on the floor?

Were they fencing?

Dropping to her knees - something a queen never does - Jinsol looked at the cut, tearing up at how much she hurt her friend. Reaching out hesitantly she blubbered an apology but wasn’t sure how to begin.

Sorry for almost maiming you in front of our families?

“Hey Jinsol, it’s okay. We just got a little carried away,” Sooyoung consoled, hiding the fear in her own voice.

Vivi swooped in to check the cut (with Haseul following with the first aid kit as if it was the heaviest item in the castle). Yeojin and Yerim went to fetch a water basin and a cloth, recounting some of the best moves they’ve seen - all of them Jinsol’s. Heejin told them to wait for her and followed out, knowing Hyunjin didn’t need her services anymore. Hyunjin was too distracted by her own thoughts to be offended.

Jiwoo joined the older women on the floor, consoling Jinsol that she didn’t do any harm. She diverted to a story about how sometimes Sooyoung would cross the roads recklessly as if lost in her own music. A small cut was nothing compared to almost getting ran over by a carriage.

Jungeun was in a stupor.

Was that her Jinsol in that suit? If the kids had taken up bets - Vivi said no - she would’ve bet on her wife out of respect. Jinsol was classically trained for show. Not for sport. But the performance she witnessed went beyond Jinsol’s training. Jinsol was running on pure instinct. Something one learned if they had multiple dangerous encounters in the wild.

How many times was Jinsol putting herself in danger exactly?

Her daughter was in the same boat.

Luckily, Chaewon had a cute girl burying herself into her neck to keep her from further analyzing the situation.

Her goofy mother did this on duty? If it was anything like the performance she witnessed, Chaewon almost pitied the werewolf that went against her mother.

(Almost.)

\---

_“You’re making that up! A queen would never do that.”_

_“Yeah but this queen is special, isn’t she Chaewon?”_

_Chaewon broke out of her daydreaming to look at the other princes and princesses of her generation. It was Princess Jihyo’s birthday and the birthday girl was busy recycling soju bottles from the guests outside to take part in their “my parent is better than your parent” debate._

_They were currently on the topic of Chaewon’s mother and all of her kills._

_Not arrests._

_Kills._

_It was new to Chaewon. The same woman who struggled throwing her in the air when she was a toddler was responsible for the current vendetta against wolves. Chaewon always looked up to her mother for her conviction, stubbornness, and her silliness. She heard the praises of her mother from visitors - and the compliments from her fandom - but wasn’t she feeding into the mass fear of werewolves by taking them out one by one?_

_No._

_She was saving them. Her mom was being a hero._

_"But have you seen Queen Jinsol actually do that?"_

_"No but we all know."_

_Looking at her own personnel - Vivi and Hyunjin, with Vivi fixing Hyunjin’s collar - Chaewon knew that this is what had to be done._

_(When asked where her other mother is, Vivi fibbed about Jungeun having her hands full of the new crop taxes. She finished sorting those weeks ago.) _

_Her mother was sacrificing her free time so that Chaewon can celebrate all these events with her whole family in due time._

_Chaewon had to be thankful._

_Her mother was sacrificing her life so she had to be thankful._

_She had to be._

\---

Yerim squeezed out the remaining water in Hyunjin’s fencing jacket before hanging it out in the courtyard. Around her Heejin and Yeojin were discussing something that was not the fencing battle they witnessed.

As soon as they left the room, they changed the subject immediately, unsure of what they witnessed in there. It was blasphemous to question what the queen was even thinking - even if silently they were all wondering the same thing.

Hyunjin had finished washing her face and calming herself down to see what transpired. She saw her sister and her sister’s friends - not her friends anymore - in the courtyard. She wanted to spend a few minutes observing their antics but Yerim called her over.

She always knew when she was around. Call it a sister-vibe.

“Is everything alright with Auntie Jinsol?”

That was the best wording Yerim could do without sounding like she was insulting the royal family.

“Of course. She simply got caught up in the moment. Teacher Haseul took her to her office to change.”

Hyunjin avoided her sister’s stare but wrongfully landed her eyes on Heejin who looked terrified of her as well. Was her sister afraid of her too?

Yeojin spoke for all them when opening her mouth to fill the silence.

“Does she get like that often?”

Hyunjin knew they were also wondering if she herself got like that often. How dare they? Jinsol wasn’t a monster. Jinsol wasn’t a monster. People only painted her out to be one. There were moments when Jinsol might lose control but Hyunjin always snapped her out of it. Growing up in a loveless family, Jinsol found a true home when she married Jungeun (after she accepted her of course). She probably suffered more than Heejin, Yeojin, and Yerim ever had.

This was how she released all her pain.

But she shouldn’t have shown that side of her to the castlehold. It was tactless and undeserving.

The Jinsol they didn’t witness on a day-to-day basis made sure Hyunjin had more blankets than her when they camped in the woods and the last morsel of food when they dined. A monster wouldn’t have taken a detour during a stakeout to purchase a rapid fire crossbow for her daughter’s birthday and make Hyunjin test it out on her.

“No.”

‘Do you?’ Hyunjin could hear buzzing on the three silent girls’ tongues but they never spoke it aloud, so she left the question unanswered.

\---

_Hyunjin maneuvered around her ridiculous collar that Vivi tried to salvage to get food into her mouth. Seeing that all of the heirs were squeezed into one corner of the dance hall, she wasn’t too worried about Chaewon._

_Especially since Chaewon outscored her in archery._

_The teenager could handle herself physically. And she could handle the nicknames people were giving her mother._

_She felt a tap on her shoulder and before she could tell Vivi that she wasn’t staining the collar, she came face to face with the Park kingdom’s castle guard._

_Shin Ryujin._

_They had trained together as the Parks lowered the age limit for new knights lower than the Jungs did. Ryujin was a worthy opponent and the two constantly tied in any competition. It was the first time two knights of the south kingdoms were given the top knight honor during their adoubement._

_“Did Heejin come along with you?”_

_Yet another competition Hyunjin found herself in with the guard._

_But she had no right to challenge her. Ryujin developed an infatuation when Hyunjin’s bookmark - a sketch of Heejin done by Vivi - fell out during training. Hyunjin had no claim on Heejin nor should she. Heejin could handle herself. Maybe not like Chaewon but the new head cook was her own knight in shining armor._

_Heejin wasn’t there. Jungeun’s fear had rubbed off on everyone. Heejin was thankfully safe and sound in the castle with Minho and his guards._

_Just because their trip to the Park kingdom went smoothly didn’t mean all trips would._

_Hyunjin recalled how the young girl’s eyes glowed when imagining the future trips she would take with her - no, not her, she could take any knight she wanted to - but those dreams were squashed and thrown away._

_(Much like the dead wolf carcass Hyunjin avoided with her carriage, telling Vivi and Chaewon to look at the shimmering waters instead as she drove around it.) _

_It would be wrong of her to keep Heejin from experiencing the world but every time Heejin turned down a trip, she was relieved._

\---

“I am so sorry for my behavior Sooyoung,” Jinsol said for the thousandth time.

Sooyoung picked her up from her knees. A queen shouldn’t be in the position and neither should her best friend. As nerve-racking the afternoon’s events were, Jinsol was still her best friend.

(But she wouldn’t be dueling her any time soon.)

“You stop that now,” Jiwoo scolded. “Just gives more reason for Sooyoung to start training again.”

“HEY!”

Jinsol nodded and turned to her wife who hadn’t said one word to her since the duel. She hoped her return home would be filled with kisses and gratitude but she made a fool of herself.

And of her wife.

It was right for her to be angry at her for embarrassing her in front of her friends.

Jinsol offered Minho or Hyunjin’s services to escort the family back to their home after dinner but Sooyoung insisted they got it covered. After all, it gave more reason for Hyejoo to develop her knight instinct. Jinsol couldn’t argue, she had to respect their wishes. It was the least she could do after her debacle.

“Hyejoo, come along now, you’ll see Chaewon soon.”

(As an apology, Jinsol expedited Hyejoo’s papers to get her signed up for the next knight training camp starting next week. Hyunjin, antsy to get out of the castle, rode off with the letters before dinner was served.)

Hyejoo and Chaewon watched the awkward goodbyes. They’ve been joined at the hip since Hyejoo set foot in the castle early that afternoon. They gathered with their friends in the courtyard after the duel - running into a frazzled Hyunjin on her way back in - but didn’t speak of the events.

Hyejoo could see Chaewon was disturbed. Chaewon could see Hyejoo was nauseated.

(They were just friends still. Not let-me-spill-out-my-guts-to-you friends yet.)

Hyejoo nodded off and hugged the princess - Chaewon teasing as her breath smelled heavily like ginger - before joining her parents. She had wanted to take the empty crates down with her but no human should have that much energy left after socializing all day. It gave her a reason to return to the castle to retrieve them.

(Not that she already didn’t go to school there.)

Sooyoung offered to piggyback her wife down but Hyejoo took her up on it, carrying her mother with ease.

“Oh just because you’re young, you think you’re stronger!”

The scene made Jungeun and Chaewon laugh and Jinsol’s heart clenched at the sound.

“You couldn’t even score one point, Mom!”

Jiwoo shushed her immediately but they all heard.

Jinsol’s heart clenched a little more as their friends descended down the path. The royals waited until they couldn’t make out the retreating figures before going back in.

Chaewon bolted up the stairs, giving her mothers a quick good night. She had an amazing day with Hyejoo and her friends and she knew how to separate her own problems from everyone else’s. Very important for a future queen.

This conversation between her mothers was long overdue and she did not want to be there when it happened.

Neither did Jungeun or Jinsol.

And definitely not Jiwoo or Sooyoung.

\---

_Jiwoo wasn’t sure what she’d walk into when she visited the Jung castle kitchen for the first time._

_The cabinets were polished. The cooking ware was neatly stacked. The dishes were shining. But Vivi shaking Sooyoung by the shoulders, telling her to “get it together” didn’t quite blend with the picturesque view._

_“What’s going on here?” Jiwoo cocked her head to the side, amused as this is the most active she’s ever seen the castle physician._

_(And she wasn’t too concerned that her girlfriend was on the receiving end of Vivi’s fury.)_

_Before Sooyoung could explain what was happening - Vivi was calming her down as she rehearsed her impromptu proposal, spouting out nonsense louder than Jungeun and faster than Haseul - Vivi patted her behind and exited the kitchen. She winked behind Jiwoo as a sign of encouragement towards the flustered knight._

_“What’s going on?” Jiwoo smiled, even if she was more confused than ever._

_There was no food being prepared or eaten._

_No IU or Key or Heejin or Haseul in sight._

_So what was a flushed, open-mouthed Sooyoung doing in the kitchen?_

_“Does this have anything to do about you talking about being engaged?” Jiwoo’s smile unwavering. It was endearing how Sooyoung was in a frenzy over something she started._

_The new castle staff member wasn’t going to hold it against Sooyoung. Teasing was a staple in their budding relationship. She didn’t need a piece of paper telling them their love was real._

_(Luckily it could be true for two women to have that piece of paper thanks to the new marriage laws being passed for commoners too.)_

_Jiwoo was prepared to take the woman in her arms and tell her that what they had was great. They were finally living under the same roof - besides the fact that in the Kim kingdom, sometimes Sooyoung snuck Jiwoo into her bunk and vice versa - and they were madly in love. But what she wasn’t ready for was Sooyoung to get down on one knee in the middle of the kitchen._

_And Jiwoo was still in the doorway._

_“Are you going to propose to me from all the way over there?” If possible, her smile grew even more, hurting her cheeks and wrinkling the skin beside her eyes._

_But she couldn’t back away. She practically floated to where Sooyoung was kneeling, each step slow but persistent._

_“Darling,” Jiwoo cupped her lover’s rich sun kissed face, not sure what she wanted to soothe._

_They both wanted this._

_They both were terrified for this._

_They both were okay if this was all their relationship was._

_Jiwoo had watched a few of Sooyoung’s fencing matches and could see how her fighting style translated to her real life. The seneschal second guessed herself and backed out of dangerous missions. And as she saw Sooyoung’s beautiful brown eyes dilate in fear, fear she created for herself, she could feel her retreating._

_It held the seneschal back from rising the top quickly but it kept her safe._

_(And Jiwoo and the gang would agree that they benefited from it too.)_

_“I don’t have a ring.”_

_Even with the sun rising behind the tree tops, Jiwoo was glowing. A joy Sooyoung longed for since moving to the Jung castle. And now that it was back in her life, she was afraid it would be taken away from her again._

_Sooyoung partially wishing she was a royal so this could’ve been pre-organized for her. But Jiwoo deserved something from the heart._

_Her heart._

_If she’d have her._

_“I don’t need a ring.”_

_Sooyoung was terrified to the core - even her kidneys were pounding - thankful she was already on her knees as they buckled beneath her._

_Feeling the same apprehension she had when she submitted her name for knight submission._

_The same feeling she had when Jungeun was found missing in the castle._

_The few hours Jiwoo was here was mostly spent in her - really their - bedroom, but it created a brighter world for the young knight. Better than her crest could provide. Better than the luxuries the Jung kingdom could provide._

_“I don’t deserve you, Jiwoo.”_

_If she ever came home with an injury or a defeat, Jiwoo would always be there to make the loss seem normal. And if Jiwoo wasn’t ready, weirdly enough, Sooyoung would know Jiwoo would pick up the pieces after rejecting her._

_“You completely do, Sooyoung.”_

_Sooyoung leaned into Jiwoo’s touch before launching into her hastily-made proposal:_

_“Kim Jiwoo…”_

_Jiwoo was going to say yes no matter how messy Sooyoung’s speech would be. It could be a thousand words or just two but she let Sooyoung have the floor._

_“You deserve better than this proposal, my love. You deserve trinkets and happiness and reasons to laugh. You deserve someone to wake up to and shower you with love and affection. You deserve peaceful nights and festive days. You deserve more than a seneschal’s salary can provide. In all honesty, I believe you can do better than me. But-”_

_Jiwoo stroked Sooyoung’s cheek. That was a struggle in their relationships: taking risks. Sooyoung took all of them on the battlefield and left none for her romantic life._

_“I also know that you don’t believe you do. Because for some reason, you believe I bring you as much joy as you bring me.”_

_“You do.” _

_Being out of your element came with the armor. The vulnerability that came with knighthood was physical - a dented helmet, an unfastened saddle, a rusted sword. The vulnerability of dating Jiwoo was harder to see - a promise to return home, a hasty transfer, another suitor in line. A contract wasn’t signed between Jiwoo and her but her loyalty to Jiwoo was as strong as her loyalty to the throne._

_“And I would like to continue bringing you joy and happiness for the rest of your life.”_

_Loving Jiwoo was the biggest risk. Sooyoung didn’t know how to prepare for it. There was no manual, no training, no experienced knights she could shadow. It’s why she hesitated asking Jiwoo out. There was no strategies list that made her think it would blow in her favor._

_‘That hesitancy is going to hurt you,’ Jiwoo would always warn._

_Jiwoo couldn’t stop the smile - has it even gone away since stepping into the room - filling her face. Unlike Sooyoung’s thespian self, Jiwoo was confident in their relationship. She was anxious whenever Sooyoung left and even if there was no guarantee of Sooyoung’s return, she knew the love was there. After all, why did every day without Sooyoung make her feel like she was only dust in outer space._

_After all, what knight’s first stop was a lowly shack on the outskirts of the village? It was usually a brothel, bar, or a combination of the two._

_Sooyoung’s bravado made her realize it late but Jiwoo always thought they were practically married since their first kiss. _

_(And she would’ve popped the question much earlier if it wasn’t for Sooyoung’s hesitancy.)_

_“Will you give me the honor of being your wife?” Sooyoung breathed out, unsure where the air in the room went._

_Jiwoo was right. The hesitancy would hurt her. Well, it hurt the back of her head as Jiwoo knocked her to the floor, happily accepting the proposal, and kissing her silly._

\---

The youngest Jung kept her door partially open to listen in on her mothers coming up the stairs. If completely shut, she wouldn’t be able to listen to the sounds of her mothers coming up the stairs.

Hopefully they would be giggling with delight like they were this morning, when they went down to fetch wine at announcement of Sooyoung and Jiwoo visiting.

Hopefully hearing Jungeun’s loud screams of delight as Jinsol chases her up the stairs. The flurry of Jungeun’s gowns creating a gust of wind that can be felt throughout the castle. The echo of Jinsol’s stomps shaking the estate to the ground.

She got this instead:

The clacking of her mother’s shoes stiffly made its way down the corridor.

A door opened.

A door slammed.

Chaewon counted down. 

Any time now, Mom. Any time now.

She made it to twenty with no other set of footsteps following and the princess threw herself on her bed, groaning as her abdomen curled around something hard. That always happened when she flopped onto her stack of Kirbys, their beady eyes doing more harm than good.

Hugging her wolf close, she wished she could take her birthday wishes back.

Even if she got a really cool crossbow (one that still hasn’t been returned, her mother forgetting about it due to all going on around the kingdom) and Hyejoo to return (one she would never return), she should have never wished for her mothers’ reunion.

Hearing their laughter ringing these last couple of days, echoing louder than Haseul’s voice and Yeojin’s cackles, made Chaewon fall for the castle’s acoustics, hearing her mother’s homecoming finally making Jungeun act like her old self.

She silenced her cries as another scuttle made its way up the stairs.

Then down the hall.

“Jungeun...I…”

A light knocking.

A creak.

“Jungeun...can I come in...please?”

Chivalry.

Even without her knight persona, Jinsol always had it. Chaewon prayed Jungeun would let her in. That she would forgive her. That she would tell her today was an anomaly and Jinsol was the same fun-loving goofball they’ve come to know and love.

(Chaewon wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince her mother or herself).

They always slept together whenever Jinsol was home. Even when the other was sick, they’d build a pillow wall between them, reaching between the crevices to hold hands, cursing all the diseases that existed for making them sleep apart.

The three Jungs would cry themselves to sleep that night.

Chaewon in her bedroom.

Jungeun in Jinsol and her’s.

Jinsol in her office.

\---

_“Jung Jinsol, I’ve been waiting for this day!”_

_Her opponent lunged at her in slow motion but that’s how Jinsol always viewed her wife. When she disembarked from the carriage on the day of their first meeting, Jinsol thought the Kim kingdom could control time._

_Her wife, her actual wife that she now slept in the same bed with, slowly lunged at her which Jinsol deflected with a flying punch._

_But to make sure she didn’t hit her wife (WIFE!) she controlled her motion in slow motion._

_It had been days since they first shared a room and every day was bliss in the Jung castle. They didn’t shy away from their loving exchanges or glances - Jungeun still blushed whenever Jinsol stared for too long. It felt like nothing and no one could do no wrong._

_They had entered the honeymoon stage._

_It only took seven months._

_Jungeun played along and leaned back, waving her arms theatrically and laughing as Jinsol clearly missed. Not that she wanted to hit Jungeun. She could never hurt her._

_“YOU’RE DODGING?!” _

_“AHAHA!”_

_“That was a good evil laugh, sweetheart!” Jinsol dropped her evil killer facade._

_“JINSOL!” Jungeun flushed, wondering if there would ever be a day when she wouldn’t feel her heart race at Jinsol calling her any term of endearment. Why did it take her so long to accept Jinsol?_

_“Oh right,” Jinsol picked up her fighting stance and proceeded with a (slow motion) uppercut which she gave just enough time for Jungeun to swerve away from._

_Followed by a good evil laugh._

\---

Jinsol placed the weapons back in their cases before stowing them away.

For a few months they would stay there. Locked and safe.

Collapsing onto her chair, she took a look at her office. Once her mother’s, Jinsol had made it more lively. Two aquariums - Jungeun’s “I’m sorry it took so long to fall in love with you” gift - lined the walls. Behind her, a large bookcase with books and scrolls dating centuries ago. A sliding ladder to reach the higher shelves was tucked neatly away in the corner.

In front of her, three large windows that once opened to a balcony looked over the courtyard behind the castle. Now one had to be careful not to stand too close to an open window or they’d fall out.

(Jinsol would’ve spent money to make the area safer but all her missions abroad pushed the renovations on the backburner.)

In the center, two large couches and a chaise for her guests.

Jungeun and Chaewon were free to visit any time they wanted. She didn’t want to make her mother’s mistake of pretending they were a happier family than what they presented.

(Which is why she kept her special research in her bottom drawer where she knew they wouldn’t touch. They respected privacy.)

She recalled her mother Jessica sleeping in this office - among other things - and she promised besides her stubbornness and assertiveness, she wouldn’t take after her.

She would never cheat on Jungeun.

But she had hurt her which was just as distasteful.

And she would camp on the couch like her adulteress parents, working on the best apology her wife deserved.

\---

_A newly twenty-year-old Jinsol slammed her head against the back of her carriage._

_She would take it up on her mothers for why she left so hastily when she returned._

_Couldn’t they install something to make the wheels go faster? Or the horses gallop faster? Or time to just stop?_

_It had been ten hours since the princess was announced missing in her kingdom so who knows how long she’d actually been gone. And that’s only how long it took the guard to notice._

_Once she found Jinsol’s castle guard, she would challenge her to a duel for letting the princess go._

_She knew Jungeun and her weren’t off to a good start. Sure, she pushed it by telling too many jokes, too many puns, too many Doraemon impressions but she didn’t think she scared the girl off. Arranged marriages were outdated and contrived but the council was big on tradition. It was only her mothers’ generation that started allowing for same sex royal couples._

_She wondered how many generations later it would take to abolish the tradition altogether._

_Startled by the howl in the distance, Jinsol huddled closer into her cloak, hoping the Kim princess was safe._

_Jinsol wasn’t sure how to reason her surprise visit._

_‘She was worried about her? She cared for her? She’s sorry for pushing her past her breaking point? She’s a lousy fiance?’_

_Too much, Jinsol. That would scare her off again._

_If anything happened to Jungeun, Jinsol would only have herself to blame._

  


**NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: NEXT NEW MOON**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q (ourtuneisohigh): Our couples going strong except my favorite because I live for the drama. To research for this chapter, I watched some of my favorite loona tvs (plus a gowon tv). Thanks for all the support and letting us know your thoughts in the comments and the dms. It's getting cold and dry so stay hydrated everyone. [Twitter](https://twitter.com/0TlSH)
> 
> N (LazyNinja): Chuuves backstory was so cute. Vivi shaking Sooyoung to calm down is a mood. Hyunjin and Heejin interaction after 84 years was nice. How long until Lipsoul make up ya think? Got any ideas for upcoming chapters, let us know. ~ [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_LazyNinja_) | [CC](https://curiouscat.me/_LazyNinja_)


	9. Rendezvous 18.6y

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Format as follows:**
> 
> _Italics: Past_  
  
Straight (but really gay): Present  

> 
> ****  


“Hello, my love.”

No matter how many times she heard it, Jiwoo managed to swoon each time. But she was careful as she held a huge crate of granny smiths.

Sooyoung, littered with wood chips and sawdust, approached her smiling wife and took the box from her hands. Years ago, it wouldn’t be a struggle but her muscles weren’t as utilized as much as before. When she was a knight and underwent missions abroad and ate to her heart’s content and fenced like there was no tomorrow.

It brought her mind back to her recent bout. Sooyoung’s wrist was healing nicely thanks to the balm Vivi supplied. It was like she hadn’t been nearly mangled by her best friend a few days ago. The same best friend that would soon command her dear daughter.

“You won’t believe what came to the doorstop at work today?”

“It wasn’t me,” Jiwoo pouted, not having time to check on her wife this week with the influx of shipments. With the winter season fast approaching, it was crunch time at the market.

As well as in the woodworker shops. Sooyoung needed to finish all requests before they closed up shop for the year.

“No,” Sooyoung kissed the pout away, making up for Jiwoo’s weekly visit by waiting for her to get off work instead. “A summons.”

Jiwoo stopped in her tracks, allowing Sooyoung time to readjust the crate.

“For...?”

Sooyoung let her wife fill in the blanks.

No doubt Jinsol was serious about advancing Hyejoo’s bid. Sponsorship from a royal was the highest possible honor. Regardless of class, it guaranteed a crest. It was like deja vu to Sooyoung’s own summons.

(Jiwoo would remind Sooyoung that she got in for brawns and brains - not her mother’s personal connections with the queens - when the two of them discussed this in the privacy of their home.) 

No doubt Hyejoo would excel at her knight training.

It’s what came after that worried them.

Jiwoo didn’t know Jinsol as well as Sooyoung and Jungeun did. They did spend a considerable amount of time together when younger. She was Jinsol’s go-to Jungeun expert. Unlike her best friend who’s been silent since the incident - she sadly accepted that Jungeun leaving the castle for a visit was as frequent as an eclipse - she didn’t want to think about this new Jinsol was her true self.

Years ago, they had a “new” Hyejoo. Within Hyejoo’s wolf exterior, her sweet daughter still lied.

By that optimism, Jiwoo applied it to Jinsol. Within the whirlwind of a fencer still lied the shy queen that would knock on her chambers to ask whether Jungeun liked purple or green grapes. Or ask Sooyoung what an appropriate distance was between her and Jungeun when they went on strolls. Or ask Vivi what she needed to know about Jungeun’s condition.

\---

_Qian and Fei squealed when they received a letter in the mail._

_An official acceptance summons._

_Their only daughter was chosen to be one of the Eastern kingdom’s castle official physicians. She was a toddler when they performed the child-bearing ceremony on the queens there but her short-lived friendship with the newborn princess Jungeun left a lasting impression._

_Their daughter came from a long line of healers. Doctors and nurses are what other Westerners labelled them. Vivi was more in tune with their lineage than either of their sons were. Their oldest, Kayee, was seeing if it was possible to paint a portrait of oneself using a mirror. Their youngest, Xu Xi, was holding the mirror higher than necessary to annoy his brother._

_At least they had Vivi to even out their...innovativeness._

_Only a very few of their kind made a smooth move across the border._

_Qian and Fei knew that for their kind, if asked to share the wrong opinion, there were consequences. But their daughter shouldn’t worry about that._

_She barely spoke when she went to medical school._

_(Not that she needed it. She had a natural aptitude for healing but everything needed written proof in this era.)_

_They worried she’d be taken advantage of but Vivi was more in touch with reality than anyone else._

_There were rumors that Eastern kingdom people treated them as magicians. Amazed at them at first - sometimes fetishizing them for their foreign features. But if they couldn’t quite solve a problem, they were banished or called frauds. Some say their people that were stripped of their medicinal ways have found refuge in the mountains. Others say they became bait for the wolves._

_But Vivi was strong. Silent but deadly._

_Her brothers laughed at that description of her and her mothers feared asking what that phrase meant in other contexts._

_They knew Vivi would bring glory to their name and if she needed help, she could always visit her distant aunts in the mountains._

\---

Jinsol fell back in her throne, blowing her hair out of her face.

This lengthy briefing cut into her apology time.

She should’ve been on page two of her apology to Chaewon but the dispatch council had to tell her everything. Even things she deemed irrelevant. Who cared if the trail guard and the water mill operator were dating? Apparently dispatch did.

But Hyunjin raised her hand, prolonging her anguish.

The seneschal had trouble falling asleep as she knew her vacation was coming to an end. Jinsol excused her to class after the initial overview but Hyunjin stayed.

“Permission to speak freely…”

Jinsol nodded and Hyunjin spoke her piece.

Even though that weekend left a lot unanswered and unspoken, Hyunjin had a proposition. In order to avoid the glaring stares from the other kids at the castle, still terrified since that fencing bout, she wanted to undertake the next mission alone.

She too was like her Aunt Jinsol. If left unchaperoned. Jinsol and her were one of the same coin. She would unleash all hell to make sure the wolf in front of her was more than dead. Their passion to uphold justice and keep the ones they loved safe made them do unspeakable things.

But sometimes her aunt would go overboard. Her kills were unrecognizable as a previous living and breathing beings.

(Hyunjin had years to control herself so her kills were at least buriable.)

And as the council nodded along, opposite Jinsol who was frozen in stature, Hyunjin knew that if she did this alone, she wouldn’t have to worry about calming Jinsol down over and over.

(And could now execute her job using her skills’ true potential.)

\---

_“Come follow me!” Yerim directed to her small army of animals._

_Hyunjin was trying on her father and mother’s armor in the courtyard. Fitting into them wouldn’t be a problem anymore with her recent growth spurt. It smelled too much like the home she lost and she angrily threw it across the courtyard at a breakneck speed, denting them._

_But the parade led by Yerim distracted her._

_“YERIM!” _

_“But-”_

_“NOW!” Hyunjin barked, hoping no one saw the act. It lost its cuteness when Yerim opened her mouth._

_“They’re only cockroaches,” Yerim nagged._

_“I don’t care. You know not to do that out here,” Hyunjin reasoned._

_If only mom and dad were there to help them learn more about the family gifts. Thankfully, they had told Hyunjin before their passing, the reason why knighthood was in their blood. Hyunjin knew to keep a secret. It’s not like she was new to holding any secrets within the castle herself. She had put in a good recommendation for Jinsol to join her clan on their next excursion after catching her looking through her notebook. And she was sure the other queen would be very concerned when word got out._

_So she was asked to keep mum until Jinsol got confirmation._

_Hyunjin knew that if the queen joined her, she’d really have to focus on self control._

_Whereas Hyunjin inherited the family speed and the strength, Yerim’s talents manifested differently._

_At least her talent didn’t put her in danger._

_Until now._

_Talking to animals was fine until you actually communicated with them like they could understand you. Different than calling a horse to come, Yerim would have lengthy conversations with all genus and species. _

_Hyunjin was very careful to not reveal that side of them. Generations of her family have hid it well. It’s why she had to fight against her kind. Be against them or be suspected to be with them. Being a descendant had its pros: one of them being, her sister and her were never questioned and never assumed to be anything other than human._

_Hyunjin knew the history. She had the page bookmarked so she could learn about it again and again, comparing it to her mother’s watered down version of their legacy._

_She wondered who flipped to that page more: her or Jinsol._

_She dog eared the page but would know it by memory._

_Page 394._

\---

“‘Fly like a butterfly,’ Heejin?”

“A simile, Teacher Vivi.”

“Very good. ‘You attack my heart,’ Yerim?”

“A metaphor.”

The kids were behaving well today. Almost too well…

Except for one student who had been staring out the doorway the entire morning lesson. Vivi would try again after lunch hour.

Hyejoo had stopped by and bid them goodbye before departing to her knight training. They teased her playfully about the humongous knapsack her parents packed her.

She would be getting fed at the camp.

The knapsack held her on-the-go meals, made by hers truly. She barely got enough sleep as her mothers clambered away in the dark kitchen, providing Hyejoo a good breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, and second afternoon snack. If she traveled at her wolf speed, she would be able to get there faster than it took to tear into one of the meals her parents prepared. 

She decided to walk to camp rather than take any of the horses Jinsol or Jungeun offered.

(She wanted to spend her last few moments as a non-knight sight-seeing and visiting her family cottage.)

Yeojin high-fived her and told her not to eat the lunch meat. Heejin asked if she needed more food as there was extra from breakfast - Jungeun and Jinsol didn’t make it to the dining room yet. Hyunjin gave a stale wave, distracted from the early morning briefing. Yerim gave Hyejoo a flying jumping hug, knocking the wind out of her.

But it was nothing like Chaewon who gave a lecture - rivalling Haseul’s and Vivi’s lectures - telling Hyejoo she had to make it back it one piece.

(_“Or else you’d poke me to death?” Hyejoo joked._

_“Not funny,” Chaewon huffed with a smile on her face._)

She gifted her one of her many bows and arrow filled quivers, from her birthday gift, to keep her safe along the way. Jinsol was supposed to return it but her parents had other things to worry about and by her actions, the gift would be out of the castle grounds and could hopefully lessen the rift between them.

(Jungeun forgot all about the damned gift. Apparently her mental health issues gave her memory loss.) 

Slinging it with ease, only Hyunjin wasn’t impressed how Hyejoo was able to carry all her things.

Chaewon hugged Hyejoo longer than it took the sun to rise.

Thankfully, Vivi was respecting her spacing out. The princess had a lot running through her mind.

One: her parents weren’t speaking to each other.

Two: her new friend would be gone for a month.

Three: her mother would be sent off on another mission.

She was used to Jinsol leaving. She knew of children with parents that were gone for month long fishing voyages and hunting excursions so she shouldn’t feel commiseration. But after seeing what her mother could become, how reckless she could be if provoked, she couldn’t help but feel scared of her mother doing that in the wilderness.

(Ironically, she hugged her wolf stuffed toy tighter that night as she willed those nightmares to go away.)

\---

_An arrhythmic knocking pattern came from her door._

_Jungeun tore it open, ready to tell Vivi that she was fine after drinking her chamomile tea. It should help her sleep soundly tonight._

_What she wasn’t prepared for was her daughter stifling her cries into her hand._

_Crouching down, she took Chaewon into her arms. Jungeun worried she wouldn’t create a good scenario to distract herself tonight. ‘Visualization technique’ as Vivi called it. But consoling her distraught daughter would be enough._

_She had a good guess at the cause of her daughter’s breakdown._

_This morning, the council announced that they couldn’t find traces of the Has in any of the neighboring kingdoms. She knew Chaewon was listening in as her little feet stuck out from underneath the curtains. Chaewon should take notes from Heejin who knew how to sit still in a chair even when chaos ensued around them. Once, the kids in the castle balanced potted plants on their head and Heejin simply sat there like it was a normal occurrence. _

_Walking her daughter to bed, Jungeun held Chaewon until she was ready to talk._

_“I miss mom,” Chaewon spluttered all over Jungeun’s sleeping gown._

_She wasn’t ready for that._

_Jinsol’s trips were seasonal until she proved herself effective. Then she was sent out monthly. Then weekly. Until she spent more time out of the castle than in it._

_Jungeun held the blubbering girl tight, stroking her blonde locks while agreeing with the statement but not letting her weakness show. She had to be strong in front of Chaewon._

_Chaewon would grow up to be a strong queen and if she didn’t set a good example, she feared her daughter would end up like her._

\---

Jungeun looked a mess.

Eyes swollen.

Hair unruly.

Face bloated.

Vivi had thankfully checked up on her a few times with meals bigger than her stomach could handle. (Haseul snuck back in later to eat the rest in case Vivi was offended.) Chaewon had just left, spending her lunch hour with her. Her daughter talked about everything and anything to distract her mother.

Make her feel like she was normal.

A normal queen with a normal life and a normal wife.

But she couldn’t even pretend the latter was true. She couldn’t wrap her head about the Jinsol she last saw. Hyperfocusing on how her slim body moved swiftly across the bout, her footwork impeccable, her grunts grew louder in volume until they echoed in the training room. She remembered how the others reacted too. How Jiwoo pretended that Sooyoung’s cut wasn’t that bad. How the other kids rushed to leave the room. How Hyunjin had to violently shake Jinsol, almost lifting her off the floor. How Vivi and Haseul shared conspicuous looks across the room. How Hyejoo had to bury herself into Chaewon’s neck. How Chaewon was afraid of her mother.

How she was afraid that the love of her life was gone and replaced by this monster.

No, not monster.

Jinsol was eradicating the true monsters. But one had to match one’s opponent so that’s what Jinsol was doing. Buffing up in order to take on the werewolves. Getting ruthless to match her enemy.

That’s what she was doing.

No need to be alarmed, Jungeun.

She envisioned of a wolf in Sooyoung’s position to calm her nerves.

They weren’t in the training room anymore but the woods.

Any woods. She couldn’t place them. Not like she could anyway. When was the last time she stepped into a non-Jung kingdom forest?

And as the wolf slashed at Jinsol with its claws and Jinsol tried to fight back. The snarling, Jungeun could easily recreate. She tried to tell Jinsol to be strong but she couldn’t open her mouth. Soon enough, Jinsol was on her back, begging to be spared.

Why did this feel so real?

Bracing her knees, Jungeun sank against the wall, banging her head against it so the visions could stop.

Jinsol was safe.

Jinsol was home.

Jinsol wasn’t a monster.

\---

_“YOU MADE A FOOL OF ME!”_

_“Permission to speak…”_

_“I’M NOT DONE WITH YOU!”_

_Jinsol turned herself away from the new knight. She gave her a chance and she blew it. Beat up a bar patron to a pulp and had the town in a frenzy. Even Haseul was there to witness it._

_Jungeun was smart to let the painting dry in the office as Jinsol came face-to-face with the new painting of Chaewon and her friends. The inhabitants of the portrait were far from decent - Yeojin sticking out her tongue obscenely and Chaewon not crossing her legs in a ladylike manner - but they looked happy to have their photo taken._

_It was the least they could do._

_They were like their own kids so a family portrait was in order._

_(She knew Yerim was secretly calling Jungeun and her mom when Hyunjin wasn’t listening.)_

_And that’s why Jinsol was so angry at Hyunjin. She didn’t even know the girl possessed something within her to even tackle that man that overpowered her in strength and size. But she also was angry that Hyunjin would put herself in that situation. If she was hurt, she could never live it down. But she couldn’t keep the young knight safe forever. The girl was wearing a Jung crest._

_She would have to learn what sacrifice was._

_“Messenger duty,” Jinsol uttered._

_“No, Auntie, I can…” Hyunjin begged._

_Those were the easiest jobs to get rid of when it came to staff cuts. If another attack happened, she would - and subsequently Yerim - be the first on the chopping block._

_“Please, Hyunjin. It’s for the best. When you prove yourself worthy, we can think about reinstating you.” _

_They could both hear the protestors outside the castle walls chanting for Hyunjin’s resignation. But Jinsol wouldn’t give it to them. _

_This was Hyunjin’s home._

\---

Chaewon volunteered to do the dishes for the castlehold. The less time she spent in the classroom, the better. Not like they had afternoon classes anyway. (She had Haseul to thank for that.) Chaewon had just finished her own lunch after visiting her mother and updated her about what they were learning, Hyunjin’s sudden departure from the castle, and how she gifted the rapid fire crossbow to Hyejoo.

Even among the flurry of hair and snot, Chaewon could make out her mother’s relief.

Without Hyejoo and Hyunjin’s voracious appetite, there was a lot of food left. Should she make a plate for her other mother?

“Chae?” A small voice called from the kitchen archway.

Chaewon froze as her blonde mother brought the rest of the dishes inside, helping her scrub off the food scraps without a word. She knew her mother was waiting for recognition before saying whatever it was she wanted to say.

Maybe asking her to get her horse ready to go on the mission the council was prepping her for. Maybe to check on her mother which she could do herself if she just swallowed her pride and...

“I’m sorry,” was not what she was expecting.

Chaewon harbored Jungeun’s anger, shame, and fear but she didn’t cause direct harm to her.

“What happened in there. It was not me. No, it was me. That side of me is useful out there but here, in our home, I can tell it’s a shock,” Jinsol started.

She had drafted so many of these apologies but she knew this one and the one she saved for last would be the hardest. When Hyunjin told her about her proposition, Jinsol immediately refused. But the letters spilling out of her coat pocket onto the floor labelled with different people’s names changed course. Hyunjin picked up the letter addressed to her and was shocked at the first two words

(_“Why are you saying ‘I’m sorry?’”_

_“Trust me, it’s not enough to convey everything. Keep reading, Hyunjin.”_)

While the council agreed with an addendum of their own, Jinsol was a naysayer. Jinsol digressed and said Hyunjin couldn’t partake in a personal mission on her own. Hyunjin cheekily inserted she would have time to apologize if she went on her own, listing five occurrences when Jinsol went on her own as well.

Jinsol was rushing. But she heard the gates. Hyunjin was already off to find a replacement knight from the academy - per the council’s request, hoping she’d fail so they wouldn’t have to pay someone so soon - while she settled business at home. She had holed herself in her office, listening for any signs of Jungeun leaving her chambers, and finished all the petitions and balances and signings for Jungeun. It was past noon when she finished. No sign of Jungeun but she needed to eat.

After seeing her selfless daughter clean up after the others’ messes, Jinsol stuffed the letter in her pocket and went off script. Before Jinsol could remember what the next paragraph included, Chaewon interrupted.

“Do you get like that often?”

But unlike Hyunjin’s response to her sister and friends, the mom owed her daughter honesty.

“I try not to. I just...I get so angry. I don’t even know why anymore. I see them and I want to kill them. The wolves took away so much. I don’t want that to happen again,” Jinsol hung her head.

(And if I stop, there'd be a price.)

“Mom, the wolves took away more from mom than they did you. You got your best friend back at least,” Chaewon shrugged, hoping she wasn’t undermining Jinsol’s pain, feeling her own tears pricking her eyes. She hated it when her mothers got like this.

“Your mother’s pain is my pain,” the conviction in Jinsol’s eyes startled Chaewon but it wasn’t scaring her like before. She wasn’t out for (Sooyoung’s) blood but out for forgiveness.

(Charwon was more scared her mother would one day take it too far to get rid of all that pain and guilt.)

“I want your mother to have no reason to fear the outside world anymore,” Jinsol broke, turning away from her daughter.

Chaewon put down the plate she was holding and took her mom into her arms. It was quite the sight given their height difference. The young woman knew there was much more Jinsol was not telling her but this was enough to patch the tension between them.

“I didn’t mean to scare you, Chaewon.”

Though her mother’s reasons were valid, her methods were obtuse. It was no different than a knight’s sense of self-sacrifice.

Something Hyejoo told her about when telling her her mother giving up her own career to care for her. Chaewon could see why Jinsol and Sooyoung got along so well - if you take out the bloody fencing bout - they both cared for their families more than their hearts could carry.

That brought Chaewon back to her thoughts on Hyejoo.

In a way, Hyejoo and her sobbing mom were similar.

Like with Hyejoo - she hoped the knight candidate was alright and eating well - Jinsol and Chaewon also had a lot to catch up on.

When was the last time she bonded with her mom?

But Chaewon knew Jinsol would have to ride off again, postponing their reunion once more.

\---

_“What about Princess Chaewon’s marriage?”_

_Jinsol gave herself whiplash turning her head so quickly. She must’ve been lacking sleep and Hyunjin was speaking in animal noises again. They had just passed the Western kingdom border to retrieve Chaewon’s eighteenth birthday present and were in dire need of a nap and a shower._

_“You know the council hasn’t abolished arranged marriages yet,” Hyunjin said, admiring the craftsmanship on the new weapon._

_“I am very aware,” Jinsol seethed._

_Jungeun and her talked about how they wanted to throw a suitors’ ball for Chaewon instead so she could pick an heir. It was no use fighting the council as they already had several bones to pick with them. One of them being Jinsol’s right-hand._

_After Hyunjin spectacularly took out a wolf single-handedly, Jinsol reinstated her without authorization from the council. She had to. No other human had reflexes and accuracy like Hyunjin._

_(No one could calm her down like Hyunjin.)_

_Also her being a queen doing a knight’s job was still a non-favorite. She needed a strong right-hand._

_“I’m sorry Auntie. I didn’t mean to bring it up so hastily.”_

_“Now, now, Hyunjin. We’ll just treat it as water under the bridge and cross the bridge when it comes to it. Let’s try out this bad boy.”_

_Hyunjin didn’t feel like correcting her aunt about her mix up of idioms. She actually wanted to try out the new toy. Jinsol rode ahead, testing Hyunjin’s aim as she faked out her maneuvers. Only to be hit by every arrow Hyunjin fired. Chaewon was really going to enjoy this gift._

_Come to think of it, Jungeun and her haven’t discussed Chaewon’s arranged marriage for a while._

_(The first time Jungeun brought up hating arranged marriage, Jinsol took it personally. But Jungeun salvaged it saying, she’s one of the lucky ones. Just because their chemistry was a godsend doesn’t mean Chaewon’s would be.)_

_(They haven’t had any meaningful conversation in months if Jinsol paid more attention.)_

\---

Five sturdy knocks

Followed by three more

Followed by four more

Followed by Jinsol busting through the door in hysteria.

The sight that welcomed her broke her. Jinsol dropped down, ignoring the sharp pain in her knees, as she tried to get Jungeun to look at her by calling her name.

She knew Jungeun was mad at her but could she still touch her?

Jungeun was rocking back and forth against the wall farthest from their windows. Her face was covered in tears, her hair was sticking. She had just started breathing normally again, using the techniques Vivi has taught her throughout the years.

Inhale for four seconds

Hold it for seven

Exhale for eight

Inhale for four seconds

Hold it for

No no no that’s wrong

Again

Inhale for four seconds

Jinsol wasn’t supposed to see her like this. She was supposed to be better by now. Jungeun shook her head as Jinsol called for her. Their efforts couldn’t be shot down in vain.

“May I hold you please?”

Jungeun shook her head again but Jinsol didn’t leave.

Jinsol didn’t know if she could. It had been years since she’s seen one of Jungeun’s breakdowns. Even hearing them through Jungeun’s doors when they weren’t close yet made her ache. And through her numerous near encounters with death - which Vivi patched her up nicely so Jungeun wouldn’t know - Jungeun’s pained cries would override any ache of her cuts, gashes, or bruises.

“May I sit beside you? I promise I won’t touch you.”

Of course Jungeun didn’t want her to know her attacks were recurring. They were two peas in a pod. There were things Jinsol didn’t want her to know either.

And karma had caught up to them on this day.

Jungeun found out how impulsive Jinsol could get.

Jinsol found out Jungeun really wasn’t getting any better.

She stood up to draw the curtains so the darkness could soothe Jungeun - just like she would do years ago - and sat next to her, still not touching until Jungeun was ready, waiting for this episode to pass. 

She had run up the stairs to apologize for her behavior and for embarrassing them but she had to add another one.

She was sorry she wasn’t there for the episodes Jungeun had in her absence.

\---

_Mercy for Hyunjin who wanted a peaceful night._

_But the comments at the end of the pub were getting to her. Jinsol’s hearing was mercifully not as acute as a wolf’s._

_“Wait? Anxiety? Everyone has anxiety. Don’t feel like you’re so special.”_

_The patrons bullied one lonely person by their lonesome who had to switch shifts with another bartender because they weren’t feeling good. When they admitted they’d been having strange episodes, they dismissed him._

_After all, everyone gets anxious._

_So why were they an exception? They should be able to do their job, raise a family, travel..._

_All things Hyunjin could hear ruining her dinner. She couldn’t help but think of those thrown at her aunt Jungeun’s face by people who didn’t understand._

_She knew what people said about her aunt._

_That she had gone crazy._

_That she should be in an asylum._

_That if she wasn’t royal, she’d have drove herself mad._

_But they were wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong._

_Aunt Vivi was adamant in teaching everyone in the castle that Jungeun had a condition. Not one they could witness or fix with solvents or crutches. It was inside her. And Hyunjin was glad to have someone from a lineage of healers using their talents for good. A lineage of misunderstood beings trying to make the world right again_

_(Someone she hoped to be.)_

_And Jinsol was thankfully - for her sake and everyone else in the pub - caught up with her paperwork which Hyunjin has noticed has been growing a bit over the years. Usually a monarch’s files depleted as contracts were stored and sent away but Jinsol was not an ordinary queen._

_And neither was her wife._

_And neither was their physician._

_And Hyunjin would go down defending them._

\---

“I had a feeling you had something to do with all this.”

Vivi approached Haseul who was “busy” dusting off the portraits in the foyer. Haseul pointed to herself but she knew exactly what Vivi was talking about.

Afternoon classes were canceled so Vivi could enjoy an early start for her birthday starting tomorrow. She walked into a classroom filled with suds and the desks overturned in the hallway. Haseul bribed the kids - not like they needed it anyway but could use the extra schillings - to be on their best behavior for Vivi this week.

“We had to clean the desks in the reading room some day,” Haseul shrugged.

“And you couldn’t wait until the weekend when they had time to dry or the New Years’ banquet?” Vivi didn’t let up on her stare. “You practically ended the school year...again.”

“Well…you know Queen Jinsol and Queen Jungeun doesn’t like us working during holidays,” Haseul could understand why the kids listened to Vivi. That glare burned.

“You know they don’t like being called that and you know I don’t like the limelight,” Vivi asked, sitting on one of the many benches in the foyer.

It was true.

Vivi was considered a national treasure and she hated the attention that came with it. With the cessation of immigration between Western and Eastern kingdoms, Vivi was lucky to have stayed. Westerners took advantage of the free real estate but Vivi adopted the ways of the people, learned their language, and only shared knowledge when it was helpful.

(Like her begging on her knees for the council a chance to prove that Jungeun wasn’t a werewolf.)

So she often shied away from any big events. If she had to give toasts, she would purposefully give herself less lines.

“I know but it’s your birthday. The day of your birth,” Haseul pouted.

They have yet to celebrate Vivi’s birthday with as much grandeur as they did everyone else. The kids all knew when it was. Chaewon, Yerim, and Yeojin liked snooping around the castle, getting their hands on anything they could read when they first gained literacy.

But to respect Vivi’s wishes, they pretended she was never born.

(Yeojin was fond of the “hatched from an egg” story.)

“You sound like our kids trying to meet a word count,” Vivi joked, bumping into Haseul’s shoulder.

Haseul would find a way to make Vivi’s life easier during her birthday week. Last year, she made all the kids pretend to have food poisoning so classes were canceled but Heejin wasn’t in on the joke and Haseul and Vivi spent Vivi’s birthday consoling the crying chef who felt sorry for almost killing the castlehold.

(The very first time Vivi celebrated her birthday in the Jung castle was the last. That time it was mostly Jinsol and Sooyoung’s fault.

Mostly.)

But Haseul accepted it.

“You didn’t make Jinsol apologize to me because it’s my birthday soon, right?”

“No, no. That was all on her own.”

Haseul wouldn’t be surprised if Vivi convinced Jinsol to go on her apology rampage. In a way, Haseul and Vivi felt like they taught the queens as well. Jinsol had given such exemplary apologies to both of them this afternoon before running up to Jungeun’s room. She expressed her remorse, admitted responsibility, and made a plan of action to never do it again.

They taught her well.

Vivi deserved the apology. She deserved everything. She was brilliant, well-versed, headstrong, talented, and absolutely beautiful.

Haseul just wished the world would see that.

\---

_Haseul pointed at the chalkboard using a branch she found outside. She knew Jinsol possessed a formal pointer but time is of the essence. And it would be a few minutes before Vivi returned with Sooyoung. Unfortunately, that put Jinsol smackdab in the middle of two very excited loudmouths - one she was beginning to know and the other she was in love with._

_“Operation Vivi’s Birthday Bash is a go.”_

_Jiwoo and Jungeun clapped and squealed._

_Jinsol hoped Vivi bought ear muffs while she was down there._

_“Now I know that Vivi does not want to make her birthday a big deal which is why we are going to make this only a small event with the people closest to her invited.”_

_“Ooooh, that’s us,” Jiwoo pointed to all of them._

_Jungeun high-fived her over Jinsol’s head making her whine._

_How were even their claps loud?_

_“Exactly! We are small - stop snorting Jinsol, you’re not that much taller than us - but we are mighty,” Haseul beat her chest proudly._

_Jinsol had never seen anyone so excited to celebrate a castle physician’s birthday but Haseul was over the moon. Last time she was this happy, it was when people admired her singing when her mother was sick - pretend sick of course - so her daughter could take centerstage._

_(Jinsol couldn’t wait for the day Haseul showed her talents to the world.)_

_While Jiwoo and Jungeun loudly discussed details of the party - poor Jinsol in the middle - Haseul joined in with as much enthusiasm. Jungeun would find some of the best chefs - winking slyly at Jinsol as a reminder when someone gifted her a chef a while ago before they were married - to recreate some of Vivi’s favorite home-cooked dishes. Jiwoo would figure out decorations that mimicked Vivi’s homeland but not appropriate it because they don’t do that here._

_Haseul was on a mission to figure out Vivi’s favorite songs to serenade...er sing to Vivi._

_After all, Vivi was an amazing…. coworker._

\---

Her moms were going to kill her.

Hyejoo had passed the obstacle course with ease. Being last on the roster, she was able to observe how it was done. Beef jerky hanging out her mouth - one of Jiwoo’s many snacks - Hyejoo did the initial skills evaluation without breaking a sweat.

Or without any blisters.

Or bruises.

She could probably do it sleeping but she would get eliminated.

But when the proctors gathered around to discuss a remarkable feat, she hoped she didn’t make it too obvious. Unlike the other candidates who had the equipment to learn the obstacle course in their own time, Hyejoo had to read books. It was a disadvantage. She could see the rookies pitied her and tried to start a fight but she was the one laughing now.

(Her mothers definitely wouldn’t be.)

It was her own excitement that caused this.

She figured the faster she passed this, the sooner she’d be back home. And the sooner she received her crest, the sooner it would be for the parents to move back into the castle. And the sooner she was in the castle the sooner she’d be in Chaewon’s ar…

Chaewon.

Chaewon bid her goodbye like one of her lifelong friends. She could still feel her arms around her and the warning poke in her shoulder. She had safely stowed away the princess’ bow and arrow in her old cottage.

Hyejoo crawled out from her tent to use the bathroom. Her roommates made the worst snoring orchestra in history. They discussed girls worth fighting for last night. One wished for a girl who could cook every type of meat: beef, pork, chicken, etc. The lankier one wanted a girl that liked his chopstick nose trick. The shorter one hoped his girl would refer to him as king of the rock.

When Hyejoo said she wants a girl who’s got a brain that always speaks her mind, they shut her down saying not even a princess could speak her mind.

What was the princess doing now?

Hopefully sleeping.

Another knight rode in hastily, almost knocking Hyejoo off her feet. Her reflexes saved her and she dusted off her shoulders to congratulate herself.

(She was spending a lot of time with Chewon.)

When the knight apologized, Hyejoo heard a familiar voice.

\---

_‘So...have you and Hyejoo made up?’_

_‘’There’s nothing to make up.’_

_‘I thought you were mad at her.’_

_‘Not anymore.’_

_Chaewon and Yerim were passing a parchment back and forth. Chaewon thanked her mother for investing in desks with a storage unit underneath. It made it easier to pass notes._

_She knew it was classist - or was it crassest - to be thankful Hyejoo was illegitimate- or was it illiterate? Chaewon should really start paying attention during grammar lessons. It didn’t help that Yeojin tried to shorthand all words into smaller versions of themselves and she caught onto the trend._

_(Poor Haseul and Vivi.)_

_Hyejoo was seated behind them with Hyunjin - who was taking another nap - as they listened to Vivi talk about how the Earth is tilted on its axis and its rotations - or was it revolutions - caused the change in seasons._

_(Yeojin couldn’t help but quip that her older sister’s superpowers - she would never call it a curse - was also a cause.)_

_‘So?’_

_‘So what?’_

_‘Come on Chae. Don’t think I didn’t see you walk in slow motion to make sure your path to school happened to cross Hyejoo’s.’_

_‘Shut up.’_

_‘I’m not talking princess. I’m writing.’_

_But Hyejoo was far from illiterate (or illegitimate). Her keen eye sight could hone in on the parchment. Chaewon and Yerim were terrible at stealth and she could see it regardless. Chaewon’s ears turned pink from Yerim’s teasing._

_Heejin thought they were hiding snacks under their desks and loudly asked them not to ruin their appetite for dinner, making Vivi drop her charade and ask the troublemakers to pass the parchment to her._

_(And when the teacher read it during her walk back to her chambers, she knew why Hyejoo was smiling behind her desk.)_

\---

“FELIZ ANNIVER-SEE-SAW!”

“HASEUL!”

“You said I couldn’t wish you ‘happy birthday’ but you didn’t specify what language.”

A little past midnight, Haseul couldn’t help but sneak in the first birthday greeting as they went to check on the queens.

Who hadn’t made it down for dinner.

It was an eventful dinner per usual when Vivi asked everyone why they ditched afternoon classes that they could’ve held in the dining room and they all supplies amazing alibis. None of them matching. But full points for effort and creativity.

(_“The horse ate my homework.”_

_“I forgot we had homework.”_

_“Aunt Jinsol stabbed my homework.”_

_“Yeojin ate my homework.”_)

Jungeun and Jinsol lay in bed, the younger queen clinging to Jinsol like her life depended on it. Vivi and Haseul went to cover the duvet they were sleeping on, careful not to flip them to the floor.

Vivi and Haseul could make out visible tear stains on the queens’ cheeks. They knew the two held secrets from each other - nothing like the adulteress and gambling debauchery other royals had - but these secrets were just as dangerous. Everyone suffered under them in order to keep the happy royal family facade.

A family.

Jinsol and Jungeun insisted they were all a family. The council would disagree as their bloodlines varied. But lineage only meant so much. For Vivi, family histories got her to this point where she felt like her genealogy was respected and given its due.

(Hyunjin and Yerim hoped one day they could feel as gracious.)

Jungeun tensed and before Vivi could console her, Jinsol lightly shushed her wife, rubbing gentle circles on her back, all without opening their eyes.

For Vivi, that was all she wished for her birthday.

For them to all be a happy family once again.

\---

_She was early._

_She technically wasn’t supposed to be there but she wanted to make sure Jungeun accepted her gifts in time. Her parents already sent a dowry with contents she didn’t know of before she even knew she was to be married off. So she decided to send her own gifts, this time coming from her._

_Deciding to spend her free time walking around, Jinsol kept close to the Kim castle walls so as not to get lost._

_“I didn’t know you were coming today.”_

_The Kim kingdom was special. It held some of the prettiest people in the world and now walls were talking to her. It sounded a lot like..._

_“Huh?” Jinsol asked, her voice higher than normal due to the surprise._

_“Jiwoo, come on. You know they’ll clear you tomorrow. Maybe you’re too eager to meet someone else residing in the castle.”_

_Was that Jungeun behind the wall? Thankfully, the girl had a knack of rambling so Jinsol’s silence - disguised as Jiwoo’s silence - wasn’t suspect._

_(Jinsol liked listening to her voice anyway.)_

_“You won’t believe what showed up yesterday. A whole chef. Like a whole entire chef. Thankfully IU didn’t see it as an insult to her skills. But the chef was from a Western kingdom. Emeril Lagasse or something. He made pizzas. Any kind you wanted. Take a wild guess who it came from?”_

_“Uh….”_

_“That Jung Jinsol. Like she’s trying to buy my love or something. She hears me say I like pizza one time, how does she even remember that? I said it in passing. What is she, taking notes on me? But that’s besides the point. Besides it being the best pizza I have ever had, I don’t know what she’s trying to do. We’re already going to marry.”_

_Jinsol was at a loss for words. She wasn’t being a good future wife. She was pushing again._

_Someone cleared her throat beside her and Jinsol turned around at the guest._

_“You okay, Jiwoo?”_

_“Yeah I’m fine,” Jiwoo raised an eyebrow._

_So this was Jung Jinsol, her new best friend’s fiance._

_She didn’t want to know how Jinsol ended up in her secret spot with Jungeun but she was curious why Jinsol looked like she was broken. As Jungeun continued talking, Jiwoo understood._

_Unlike Jinsol, Jiwoo could see through it all. Jungeun despised the tradition of arranged marriages and with it, transferred the same sentiment towards Jinsol. Jiwoo would agree that Jinsol’s gift-giving was excessive it but the new shipments - earrings for Jungeun had many ear piercings, personal chefs that specialized in Jungeun’s favorite foods, and custom clothes that accentuated Jungeun’s favorite feature, her shoulders - were thoughtful._

_Jiwoo knew those gifts were personally from the girl, not the kingdom. And it showed that before marriage, Jinsol was focusing on Jungeun the person, not Jungeun the bride._

_But her new friend was too thick-headed to see it. Jiwoo and Jungeun were new friends. Not let-me-spill-out-my-guts-to-you friends yet._

_Jinsol excused herself with a bow and Jiwoo continued the conversation, watching Jinsol walk away dejectedly._

\---

Sooyoung closed her eyes peacefully as Jiwoo pampered lazy kisses up her neck. The peaceful humming Sooyoung emitted - contrasting the thundering rain they didn’t know was happening - made Jiwoo giggle. Sooyoung melted as she felt Jiwoo smile against her skin.

And now that the markets and stores were on limited selections until the new year - Jiwoo’s stalls having sold all their stock until the new year and Sooyoung’s boss taking a pilgrimage west - they could certainly do that again.

Flipping her wife onto her back - a beautiful laughter springing from Jiwoo’s mouth - Sooyoung returned her loving kisses until...

Three resounding knocks

“HOW DARE YOU!” Sooyoung did not bother hiding her annoyance.

“Who is it?” Jiwoo saved.

If Hyejoo were here - thankfully not because she would be scarred for life - Sooyoung would sic her on the unwanted guest.

“Bang Haseul of the Jung Castle.”

Taking one look at each other, Jiwoo pulled Sooyoung down to kiss quickly to apologize for their interruption and to promise they’d make up for it. They scrambled to look decent. It included Sooyoung hitting her head on Hyejoo’s bed above her and Jiwoo tripping over herself to get to the door.

Hurrying Haseul in - the rain pouring down in buckets outside, when did that happen?

“To what do we owe the pleasure?” Sooyoung rubbed the back of her head.

But Haseul possessed hawk observation skills when it came to certain people. (Not Vivi.) One of the few things Yeojin and her shared. And Sooyoung was as discreet as a swan.

“Sooyoung. What happened to your head? You could have a concussion,” Haseul rushed over, doing what she thinks Vivi does. 

“What is a concussion?”

“It happens if you hit your head. You could lose access to your brain,” Haseul tried to recall what she picked up from Vivi’s talks which she may or may not eavesdropped in. “You could even die.”

“WHAT?!” Jiwoo screamed, pulling at her hair.

“WHAT?!” Sooyoung echoed, surprisingly louder.

“You can’t yell that loud. You’re exerting too much brain power.”

Before they knew it, they rushed to the royal carriage, startling their driver Yeojin who was trying to catch up on sleep after being rudely awakened to prepare Vivi’s not-so-surprise birthday breakfast.

\---

_“What do you think, doctor?”_

_Vivi didn’t know how to answer this as she sat patiently on one of the couches. Jinsol paced back and forth behind her desk. On top of the woodwork, a foreign vial that could be Jungeun’s salvation. It came with the new shipment of seafood and wool and Jinsol made sure it was kept on a low-profile._

_Since the Has’ disappearance, Jungeun’s episodes have been weekly and lasted hours. It pained Jinsol to see her in this state but once the medicine arrived, she was having cold feet._

_Quite literally as well. They should invest in a better central heating system._

_She couldn’t understand half of the ingredients on the packaging. Even Vivi, who had left her home when chemical nomenclature was developing, could only break it down by their prefixes and suffixes. But it didn’t ease any of their worries._

_Especially when they got to the long list of side effects._

_“DeaTH? EVEN DEATH?” Jinsol tipped the vial over but was scared it would break and make a mess._

_Vivi knew with new medicine, there was always a risk. Especially now with pharmaceutical companies rising in bigger kingdoms, they were getting less and less transparent with their business operations._

_And even if she was putting up a good front, she was petrified. She’s read the testimonials. Drugs worked for some but not all. And from what they knew - at least from what other kingdoms were revealing - Jungeun would be the first queen to use them. There was no shame in taking pills - Yeojin once pocketed a small bottle that gave energy for five hours which was was an adventure in its own right - but this was Jungeun’s decision._

_“Cancel the next shipment, Jinsol?”_

_Before Jinsol could answer, wailing reverberated through the open door. They rushed out, bumping into Chaewon and Yerim flying down the stairs to fetch cups of water._

_Jungeun was having another attack._

_And when they asked the next day - Jinsol reading every expression on her wife’s face - Jungeun insisted she didn’t need any medicine._

_Because by the time it would get to the castle, she would be all better._

_She promised._

\---

“I’m so sorry to bring someone but she’s our friend. I know it’s your birthday but…”

“It’s your birthday Vivi! Hey, why did you hit your head on Vivi’s birthday?”

“I didn’t mean to!”

Vivi clicked her tongue as she inspected Sooyoung’s head again. Properly this time. Haseul’s check up almost gave the carpenter whiplash.

The castle physician didn’t have much to do today anyway so welcomed the walk-in appointment. Classes were canceled due to inclement weather even though the reading room was just down the first floor corridor. Her morning chores were all done - Heejin, Yerim, Yeojin, and Chaewon were now knocked out in their rooms having completed them - and gardening was put on the backburner until spring season.

Like everyone else in the castle, they were respecting Jinsol and Jungeun’s privacy so their chamber doors remained closed.

(But Haseul planned on ramming through the door past noon if the queens don’t at least wish Vivi a good day. Not birthday. It’s “not” her birthday.)

“Okay, I want you to look at the wall behind me and follow my finger. Really focus on my finger.”

It felt like old times. When Sooyoung was castle guard under Taeyang, she sometimes found herself on Vivi’s operating table for minor bumps and bruises.

“Is Jinsol out on duty again?” Jiwoo asked, not liking the feeling of seeing Sooyoung hurt reignite within her.

“No. She’s upstairs with Jungeun.”

“Oh?”

“They’ve had a rough few days.”

Sooyoung tried to continue to eye test but bowed her head in shame. If she was more alert during the bout, maybe Jinsol and Jungeun wouldn’t have this rough patch.

Haseul and Vivi shared a look - Haseul more as an apology as she didn’t want to put a downer on Vivi’s special day. It had been a while since they could properly vent about the Jungs’ relationship and personal drama. They couldn’t vent to the younger ones. Other temporary staff like furnace cleaners and knights were out of the question. But they could trust Sooyoung and Jiwoo. 

Making sure the doors were closed, they took turns in filling in the Has on what had happened since their disappearance.

\---

_Hyunjin did the thing._

_Then turned around to make sure no one was listening._

_Then she did the thing again but louder._

_“That is a very convincing bark,” Vivi complimented as she brought more bales of hay into the stable._

_Darn, no one was supposed to hear her do the thing._

_Hyunjin left her post to help the woman out. She was glad it was Vivi that caught her out of all people. She had been meaning to ask her a few questions since Chaewon found the files in Jinsol’s desk. Since learning how to read, the students all begged for new reading material so scavenged around the castle until the delivery carriages of books pulled in. Chaewon lucked out on finding something fascinating._

_The castle staff’s employment records from the Kim kingdom. When Jinsol single-handedly transferred staff over to appease her wife, she asked for their files for references._

_(Really making sure no one had questionable furry ancestors.) _

_“Aunt Vivi? Teacher Vivi? Aunt Teacher Vivi?”_

_“It doesn’t matter. Whichever you’re most comfortable with,” Vivi sat on a bale, seeing that Hyunjin needed to let something out._

_That was good._

_Better out than in, they’d say._

_“Are you proud of where you come from?” Hyunjin tried to look elsewhere, coming face to face with a horse’s teeth and scurrying away to sit next to the physician._

_“Why do you say that?” Vivi knew she didn’t talk about her family much but it wasn’t like she was ashamed of them. From what she knew, her brothers took up poetry performances. Her mothers had long been deceased since she moved to the Jungs._

_Their refusal for modern medicine ended their lives early. Something that Vivi didn’t want to transfer to a certain traumatized patient of hers. But Jungeun was managing without medicine._

_“I don’t know. It’s just... What if your family came from, I don’t know, bad people? And you worry people will hold that against you.”_

_Wolves, Hyunjin wanted to say._

_She should be able to trust Vivi._

_But she wasn’t Head Knight yet. She just got reinstated._

_“As you know, I come from a family of healers. And those have good or bad connotations depending who you’re talking to. Remember my lesson on connotations?”_

_Hyunjin nodded._

_“Well, every family, no matter what has good and bad people. Lineage can only explain so much. Even look at the royal families and you’d find a few bad seeds.”_

_“Didn’t Aunt Jinsol’s mom love other castle staff?”_

_“Yes, but I don’t want to use that as an example.”_

_They both looked around for good measure in case Jinsol was nearby. But she was off on another one of her solo missions._

_Vivi had a good feeling what Hyunjin was asking about but luckily for a young staff member, knight files were kept with the knighthood archives in an undisclosed location. Quests have tried pinpointing the area fifty one times now to no avail._

_When she performed the physicals for the new Jung castle guards, Hyunjin, even seeming calm, had elevated temperatures and a heart rate that should’ve put her in cardiac arrest. And like a doctor, Vivi doctored the results._

_What’s another secret in the castle?_

_“You are a descendant of your family. But you’re still you’re own person, Hyunjin. Remember that.”_

\---

er

Three girls woke up due to the covers being pulled by one shivering bunkmate.

Chaewon cuddled up under the blankets, not used to not sleeping under a pyramid of Kirbys, as her three co-conspirators rubbed their eyes awake.

Heejin, Yerim, and Yeojin stared at the princess, feeling lucky to have someone as generous as Chaewon as their employer. (They weren’t allowed to call her that even if it was true.) This morning, to take off the morning stress from Vivi, they all awoke to take on different chores around the castle, including their own (and including the queens’). It was almost lunch when they finished but they skipped the meal - Heejin leaving out enough food for the older staff, queen one and queen two, and the visiting Has - for a well-deserved nap.

The castle was spotless like they were to throw a ball for Vivi.

They would never say no to a good party.

But they knew Vivi didn’t like the attention for that long.

(Even if she always deserved it.)

They worried for the day when Chaewon would have to marry off. When they “borrowed” reading materials around the castle, they came across a petition to end the draconian marriage law. Ink smudged and paper browned, it must’ve been shelved for a while now.

Jinsol had been too busy to send it for a vote.

Jungeun couldn’t - didn’t want to - leave the castle.

But they brushed those thoughts aside. The council hadn’t warned Jinsol and Jungeun - having their hands full with other matters - so they wouldn’t bring it up either.

The day of Chaewon’s marriage was in the distance. Much like Chaewon in dream world.

Since they pushed all the Kirbys off, Chaewon had to find a way to replace the pressure she liked on her body when she slept by piling the blanket on top of her. It was a cuter version of Jungeun when she swallowed herself up in her blankets after one of her attacks.

Vivi said it helped. They girls didn’t know what for. But it helped.

How did anyone sleep like that? They couldn’t even make out the rise and fall of her chest.

“Is she meditating?”

Unless her chest stopped rising…

“Is she dead?”

The girls looked at each other in fear. If Chaewon was deceased, they would be suspects as they were the last to see her alive.

Heejin was forming her alibi in her mind. Yerim thought they could re-pile the stuffed pink monstrosities before anyone would notice. Yeojin thought they could jump out the balcony-ridden window and hope for the best. Maybe the rainfall made the ground soft.

Maybe she could land on Heejin.

Chaewon rose out of bed while the others were deep in thought, wondering why they were doing their best Jinsol impression. You know the one, where they think hard and look into the distance.

“Hey, what’d I miss?”

“AHHHHHHH! CHAEWON THAT WAS A GOOD SCARE. AHAHAHAHA”

“WHAT KIND OF SPECIAL SUMMONS REANIMATION JUTSU FROM THE GRAVEYARD IS THIS?”

“STOP READING MY BOOKS, YEOJIN!”

\---

_“And what importance does your opinion have?”_

_Sooyoung felt like ramming him through the wall._

_But Vivi stood her ground, straightening out the portfolios in her hand that she had priority mailed to her from home._

_If not, who knows where Jungeun would be now?_

_Ever since her wolf attack, there had been a swarm of rumors about Jungeun’s status as a human. With the right amount of wolf saliva, it could ruin her life. Not by killing her slowly but by making her succumb to a new identity._

_A new identity that would have her in the gallows by the morning._

_Jinsol had just left stating her piece. She didn’t want to argue about Jungeun’s identity like a bargaining chip but Vivi had told her it was okay. As the new ruler to the Jung kingdom with her parents’ mysterious disappearance - one she wasn’t even grieving about - she needed a marriage to validate her power. She needed the Kim’s kingdom’s access to water to reinforce trading lines. Her aunt - the only member she’d call family - had thankfully snatched up the Liu heir years ago to strengthen trading routes in the northeast. Even though Jungeun didn’t have to be married yet - Hyelim and Yubin held the throne - for the first time, Jinsol selfishly argued about having Jungeun._

_“Have.”_

_Like an object._

_(Jinsol would beat her head against the carriage walls on the entire ride back in guilt.)_

_It proved worthy enough for Jungeun to maintain her princess status. But her human one was still in the air and the full moon was in one week._

_“You are not wrong to have doubts but here I hold evidence--”_

_A scoff._

_“Of many wolf attacks throughout the ages that have ended well.”_

_A chortle._

_“Can I please punch him?” Sooyoung whispered._

_Viv gave the knight a warning glare, telling her to let her finish her spiel first. And she would be free to punch him. And she herself would refuse to give him medical help._

_“And I have evidence of barriers we can use to ensure that if Her Highness is a werewolf, we can barricade her. Cages made of the finest silver, one I know this kingdom can afford.”_

_(Jinsol’s donations may have come to play here.)_

_“And you will construct this yourself?”_

_“Well, I will need help.”_

_“And I will help her,” Sooyoung volunteered, having never held a chipping hammer in her life._

_But she knew one person that did. Her stomach flipped at the thought of seeing the all-around talented wolf-defeating farmer again._

_“Testimony is denie-“_

_“I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON PRINCESS JUNGEUN!” Vivi proclaimed, close to tears as the most powerful governing body was giving up on her._

_On the princess._

_On Kim Jungeun._

_On someone who deserves the right to live freely or as free as anyone could._

_Sooyoung was taken aback, never hearing Vivi raise her voice before._

_Hyelim and Yubin watched the brave act of Jungeun’s closest staff members. They were first generation castle staff but they treated Jungeun like they’ve known her for years. Treating her as a person not collateral. Asking rather than assuming, conversing rather than lecturing. Jinsol was the same. Even with Jinsol’s flamboyant speech, they knew the Jung to-be queen had only their daughter’s best interests - and her life - at heart._

_It was all they ever wanted for their daughter anyway._

\---

Safe.

When was the last time Jungeun felt that way?

Maybe now as she snuggled into Chaewon’s arms. Her daughter had picked up after her wife in caring for her. Adorable in some people’s perspective but a burden in hers.

But a lighter shade of blonde hair came into view.

Jinsol kept her eyes to the ceiling as Jungeun stirred. The night before, Jungeun had cried herself to sleep, slumping over on the floor but Jinsol was quick to catch her with her lightning reflexes.

The reflexes that got her in this position in the first place.

Carrying her to bed, she wanted to give Jungeun a good night’s rest but Jungeun held tight and Jinsol couldn’t bear leaving her in this state. Even sleeping, she could make out the worry lines on her forehead. Deeper than she last remembered.

She wanted to change that.

“I’m sorry.”

They almost bumped heads at the speed they had looking at each other.

“No, you shouldn’t be sorry at all.”

“Why are you sorry?”

Jinsol felt around her pocket for the ten page, back-and-front, apology letter she had written but it didn’t appear.

Jungeun worried if Jinsol was looking to see if she was still in possession of weapons. She didn’t know what to think about Jinsol anymore. Then she kicked herself in the head for thinking negatively about her wife again.

No, she was still Jinsol.

“Jinsol…”

Jinsol’s heart clenched at how her name sounded foreign on her lips. She didn’t deserve the look Jungeun was giving her. Or the chance she was getting to hear her out. She didn’t deserve Jungeun because she put in another episode because of her tactlessness. She was the cause of this.

“Jungeun…”

The weight of her name poured down on Jungeun, having never heard it raw for years. The nicknames and terms of endearment sounded safer than using her real name. Jinsol was still Jinsol and will always be Jinsol.

“I don’t deserve you.”

Jungeun was still Jungeun. The same sweet caring Jungeun. And because of her, the same anxiety-cursed Jungeun. Jinsol didn’t want her to be that Jungeun again.

“You do,” Jungeun pleaded. Her throat was parched but she needed Jinsol to know. That all forms of Jinsol deserved all forms of her.

Even her broken parts.

“No, I don’t,” Jinsol whined, not liking the pity game. “Not after what I’ve done.”

Without any prompting or letters or Haseul pushing her through the door, Jinsol admitted to the monster within her. How she needed to be smarter and faster and tougher. Needed it to not only survive for herself but survive for her kingdom. That she needed to make sure she made it home to her and to her family. She almost admitted everything, including the files in her bottom drawer but…

“No more. You’ve suffered enough.”

‘Because of me,’ Jungeun wanted to say but she knew Jinsol wouldn’t let her. She would have another day to admit her own grievances but Jinsol needed the space and time. Tears were cascading down her face and there must be more but Jungeun would forgive them. Even the ones left unsaid.

If she was lucky and Jinsol wasn’t sent away again, maybe Jungeun could have her turn tomorrow.

“I’m suffering because you still are. Jungeun, why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve been at the castle more. I could’ve put work into helping you recover. All this time I’ve wasted could’ve been focused…”

“On doing your job.”

“My job?”

Jungen was glad Jinsol’s solemn expression had changed. But now it was one of anger. This was the reason why Jungeun never told her she was out of her mind.

“My only job is to love you Jungeun.”

The harsh intensity in Jinsol’s eyes scared her like before on the piste. But not because she was terrified that Jinsol would release all her anger on her but because she contributed to Jinsol building up to it.

They thought they were doing what was right. Jungeun shielding herself so Jinsol didn’t feel the need to take care of her and Jinsol spending night after night making the world bear the pain they both felt.

Jinsol’s selflessness changed her into the worst version of herself. Jungeun’s made her an eternal mess.

“No.”

“No?”

Jungeun held Jinsol’s gaze, disheartened that her eyes have seen carnage and havoc. All for her. Jinsol didn’t need to prove anything to her. She didn’t need to prove anything to this kingdom. She knew the limitless love she had for her people and for her. It required a better - and less bloody - outlet but it could change.

If Jinsol could change, so could Jungeun.

She wouldn’t leave the kingdom grounds today - feeling like today was a special day for someone for some reason - but she would be more diligent in her recovery. And in order to do that, she needed to stop thinking the worst of Jinsol which meant…

“Your job is to this kingdom and to your people. That much is true. But you have another one too.”

Jinsol had to be selfish.

“I do?”

Jungeun practically leapt seeing the confusion etch on Jinsol’s face, replacing the stress that shouldn’t be there. She had forgotten how adorable it was.

“Your job is to yourself and to do what your self wants.”

Jungeun knew she needed to say that to herself as well.

“You don’t want to know what my self wants. It’s not pretty. It’s almost selfish.”

What Jinsol and Jungeun both wanted for themselves was for the other to be safe and rested and free from walking on eggshells around each other.

“Then be selfish for me.”

“A bit hypocritical, don’t you think? What if my wants parries yours?”

Jinsol didn’t want to make it feel like it was all for naught. She felt like she was making up for making Jungeun run away all those years ago.

(But Jungeun had already and would continue to forgive her.)

She needed to feel like she was collecting tangible results. She felt like a failure seeing Jungeun balled up the previous night. But if she was a failure, why was Jungeun still in her arms? Why was she looking at her with unwavering love? Why couldn’t she admit that there are better approaches to the problem she - and the rest of the world - had aerated to a full out war?

She had to change herself. Not the world.

It was time Jinsol came home.

\---

_“AHHHHHHHH!” The queen winced as Vivi poured - was that whiskey? - on her gash._

_“Do you want Jungeun to worry?”_

_“No, of course not.”_

_Jungeun had enough to worry about as is. Especially with Sooyoung and Jiwoo’s mess in the ballroom. Put on decorating duty, they decided that releasing streamers out of packed-in cylinders - more on each other than the furniture - was the easiest way to make the place festive._

_For Vivi’s now-ruined birthday._

_They didn’t call Sooyoung party monster for nothing._

_To be fair, the knight and handmaiden - only one of them really did their job since Jungeun and Jinsol took care of themselves well - contributed to a small amount of the travesty of the event._

_Jinsol was eager to use the new inventions. They came from Vivi’s homeland and were used to commemorate big holidays. And according to Haseul - who may or may not be crying in the vestibule - Vivi’s birthday was an important holiday._

_(No Jinsol would not be submitting a petition to make it a kingdom holiday as much as Haseul begged.)_

_Fireworks, is what the delivery driver called them._

_But the package should’ve been more clear which end was which. And with the fuse facing upwards, the fireworks darted around the ballroom instead of out into the courtyard. Jinsol tried to “catch” the ricocheting rocket but fire burns skin. And singed walls._

_(Jinsol would be scrubbing the walls later of all ash and debris.)_

_Vivi and Jinsol heard the door open and Vivi quickened her bandaging. Jungeun directed a devastated Haseul inside. One would think it was her birthday that was ruined._

_Jinsol waited for Vivi to give her the all-clear before scooping up her worried wife. Jungeun without a smile was something Jinsol needed to fix._

_And Vivi scooped up Haseul as well, shushing the numerous apologies she could make out through the blubbering._

_The party was a mess and so was the ballroom and Sooyoung and Jiwoo still hadn’t come out of their bedroom, but her friends safe and Haseul in her arms were the best birthday gifts a physician could have._

\---

Minho stepped into the dining room, handing an envelope readily to Yeojin before excusing himself to eat in the knights’ chambers.

He made it very clear to his Order of Chivalry that they were to remain as removed from the castlehold as possible. Hyunjin and Yeojin, being part of the original Jung family, were exceptions.

Yeojin was an unofficial squire, having failed her knight exams again and again - damn the rock climbing portion - but the castlehold referred to her as one. Sure, she was a trickster, a gambler, and a rabble rouser but she was also a friend, a schoolmate, and family.

(Sooyoung wondered if she too would be at this table and if she was in Minho’s shoes instead. The Choi kingdom was quite a ways away so staff cuts must’ve been brutal for them to ask for help elsewhere.)

But looking across the table at Jinsol and Jungeun, not a hair fitting between them, she knew she’d be welcomed to this table every meal. Along with her wife and kid.

“WHAT?!”

“Yeojin, I don’t believe any announcement starts with the word ‘what.’”

“No, it’s about Hyunjin.”

Jinsol practically knocked her chair backwards. She shouldn’t have let Hyunjin take a solo mission. She was overworked and her hiatus wasn’t long enough. But Jungeun grabbing onto her arm made her rethink that decision. Especially with the way she was looking at her, eyes brimming with tears, hoping Jinsol didn’t regret her decision to stay longer.

Jinsol sat back down and kissed Jungeun sweetly. A reminder that she was trying to change. No more dangerous missions if it didn’t call for it. She would carry out her royal duties per usual but it was time Hyunjin took more responsibility.

(One book loving person wasn’t pleased with the change in schematics.)

The queens were tardy to dinner, surprised that Sooyoung and Jiwoo were joining them. Their mangled hair and reddened eyes were un-queenlike.

But like every matter, the residents kept hush about their appearance. Jinsol had said her piece to each of them and Jungeun had nothing to be sorry for. They carried on through meal which may or may not be a huge feast due to someone’s “not birthday.”

(Chaewon, Yerim, Heejin, and Yeojin danced in their chairs when the older ones at the table complimented their hard work this morning to make Vivi’s day easier. Then scolded Sooyoung for bumping her head and making Vivi break out her medical kit.)

There was a rumor that Hyunjin took a mission alone which wasn’t out of the ordinary but usually it happened when Jinsol had separate diplomatic duties. But Jinsol was here for the first time with her heart up to her throat hearing Hyunjin’s name in a correspondence note. These notes could hold any type of message. And looking around the table, everyone else felt the same. All their utensils were down, the mouths stuck in half-chew.

Is this how it felt receiving these letters, not knowing the outcome was?

She knew she had plenty in her name.

She really needed to make it up to them. Especially to Jungeun and Chaewon who hasn’t stopped sneaking glances at her parents since they entered the dining room.

The council gave into Hyunjin’s request on one condition. She needed to find a knight to accompany her. Minho was out of the question. Sending two great knights of one castle is what got Hyunjin and Yerim’s parents killed.

“...And Hyejoo.”

It was Sooyoung’s turn to spring up, Jiwoo mirroring Jungeun by gripping onto her wife’s arm.

(Chaewon felt the need to hold onto something as well.)

Sooyoung and Jiwoo shared a look. Hyejoo couldn’t possibly be a knight yet. Didn’t she realize the repercussions for becoming one so soon? People would ask questions. People would make up theories. There were knight trading cards with coincing lore for goodness sake.

(Jiwoo knew this because she may have collected Sooyoung ones that she may still own.)

Sooyoung was livid but Jiwoo squeezing her arms helped her keep composure. She sat back down, sending an apologetic look to the queens for her uproar.

Yeojin waited for all eyes to be on her.

“Hyejoo will be inducted as Hyunjin’s new right-hand.”

\---

_The squire grumbled as Jinsol, Jungeun, Vivi, Haseul, and even Yerim took turns straightening her tie and collar. They had different preferences to her look and were only doing it to keep themselves occupied so as not to entertain the antsy guests in the ballroom._

_Tonight was the knighting induction._

_It was a bittersweet day as many of the new knights would replace their fallen cohort._

_They would be replacing friends, loved ones, parents._

_As Hyunjin would be._

_“Your Majesties, they call for your attention in the courtroom.”_

_Jinsol and Jungeun took one more look at Hyunjin who had been hard to read the past few weeks. She had been hiding her grief well but they knew the castle inside and out. They’d seen her hide in a private nook to cry in. They’d seen her stare at the portraits of her parents, now marked with their full years of service medals, for hours._

_She had lost so much and tonight, she would gain a lot._

_But they knew it wouldn’t be enough to make up that loss._

_Jungeun had lost her parents tragically to the wolves which rushed her marriage. A marriage that she warmed up to over time and now she couldn’t fathom not loving Jinsol. It wouldn’t make up for the loss of her mothers but it was enough._

_Jinsol couldn’t give two schillings about her parents. But she gained more love in her marriage than her deadbeat mothers could ever provide._

_As for Hyunjin, they hoped she would transfer her love to something or someone new._

_“Hyunjin…” Jungeun started, her eyes misty._

_“We’re so proud of you,” Jinsol’s voice cracked._

_Hyunjin nodded, not wanting to lose face. The queens understood. There’d be plenty of time for emotions later. Jungeun escorted Jinsol out, amused to see that it was Jinsol that was more emotional than she was._

_“I’m proud of you too!” Yerim cheered, leaving quickly so Hyunjin wouldn’t see her tear up._

_Luckily, Haseul and Vivi scurried out to catch the crying girl in time._

_As everyone left Hyunjin to prepare, one small knock on her door pulled her out of her thoughts._

_“Come in.”_

_Hyunjin wasn’t expected the new head cook to step inside._

_“Do you need help with the banquet?”_

_That must’ve been the reason. No way would she be checking on her. Hyunjin hadn’t been the kindest to her since her parents’ passing._

_“No, that’s been laid out hours ago.”_

_This was for the best, Hyunjin._

_After tonight, she had one focus only._

_“May I?” Heejin gestured to her collar and Hyunjin stretched her neck out. The cook straightened the collar out underneath her jacket, loosening her tie enough to hide her top button._

_Hyunjin was sure one of the women in the room prior had done this outfit combination but Heejin’s arrangement looked perfect._

_“Heejin…”_

_“Yeah…”_

_Their eyes met. Hyunjin faltered. Almost forgetting the reason why her walls were up._

_The nightmares more than fresh in her mind. If she closed her eyes too long she’d see Yerim in her parents’ positions. Helpless and under a fallen carriage. And sometimes, it would be Heejin. _

_Her mother didn’t want to be a knight, becoming one so her dad didn’t quit. They became an unstoppable duo but Hyunjin didn’t want that future with anyone._

_Especially with Heejin._

_“I’ll tell you after the ceremony.”_

_Heejin nodded and swallowed her disappointment as she smoothed out the lapels on Hyunjin’s jacket. Even if they’ve never spoken in months, she knew Hyunjin inside and out. It took a while for Hyunjin to open up to her and she didn’t want to believe that it would be a permanent state. Yerim and her used to be the only ones that knew the funnier and dorky side of Hyunjin but now it Yerim was the only one that kept that privilege._

_Heejin stayed - she had to - clapping alongside the rest of the Jung castlehold as Hyunjin kneeled before Jinsol an hour later._

_“I, Queen Jinsol, hereby dub thee Knight…”_

\---

“Ha Hyejoo of the Jung kingdom.”

Hyejoo beamed up at Hyunjin who looked down at her proudly. It was a nice change to the stoic Hyunjin she was used to seeing around the castle.

Hyejoo was the only one in her cohort to graduate so early but Hyunjin said it was adamant to have a new graduate as her right hand so pushed for Hyejoo to take the final examination unprepared. She didn’t know what Hyunjin saw in her but when Hyunjin promised it would guarantee a stay at the castle, she passed it in a breeze.

Resheathing her new sword, leery around the silver edges, Hyejoo got off of her knees.

Finally, her parents will have the happy ending they deserve.

Even if she was wary of her own.

  


**NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: NEXT FULL MOON**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q (ourtuneisohigh): Loona Popularity Award Winners in my heart no matter how the award show goes tonight! And we're winning too with the amount of hits and kudos this hit on ao3. (Did you know lipsoul has two tags on ao3? I found out a few days ago.) As the holidays approach, please take care of yourself and if you're in need of an accepting family, I can be your older sibling or parental figure. DMs always open. Share your thoughts, theories, or rant about your day and we'll be sure to reply. See you in December! Stay warm! [Twitter](https://twitter.com/0TlSH)
> 
> N (LazyNinja): Thank you again for reading our fic. We appreciate your thoughts and feedback more than you could know. As the season gets colder and the days get shorter we hope you are able to still feel well. Seasonal depression is a real things and happens to many. Take care of yourself and stay hydrated. Hope this story can help be an escape or something for you as it is for us. Let us know any theories you have or things you'd like to see in future chapters, every comment makes our day! Thank you, see you next chapter ~ [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_LazyNinja_) | [CC](https://curiouscat.me/_LazyNinja_)


	10. Starlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Format as follows:**
> 
> _Italics: Past_  
  
Straight (but really gay): Present  

> 
> ****  


_“Why is dad so tall for?” An adolescent Yeojin complained, swinging her arms in every direction while making way down the hallway from the main doors._

_Haseul thankfully caught the vase Yeojin’s arm hit before it was knocked over, but it fell off her fingertips when she celebrated her catch too early. Vivi, walking down the corridor, caught the vase a second time, smirking at Haseul while she placed it back as she passed by on her way to help Heejin with supper._

_Yeojin and Haseul had just bid their parents farewell and safe travels. They would be the first castle residents that weren’t knights to leave the establishment since the recession and the Great Attack. (All attacks were great in terms of their casualty counts so this could be the Great Attack XXVII for all they knew.) _

_“I don’t know, Yeojin,” Haseul using more effort than necessary to not watch Vivi walk away._

_“Well, why aren’t we tall?” _

_“You’re still young. You have time to grow.”_

_“Are you done growing?”_

_The age difference between Yeojin and Haseul was ludicrous. A whopping twenty-two years between them but it wasn’t inconceivable. Sometimes Haseul was mistaken as her mother when they were out together which wasn’t often now that the wolves had scared everyone._

_She did resemble Minzy quite a bit, especially cheek wise._

_But their father Yongguk towered over them._

_They didn’t get his height genetics at all._

_Or maybe they did but it was recessive or something. Maybe they both needed to pay better attention to Vivi’s biology lessons. Moreso Yeojin since she was a student._

_“I believe so.”_

_“Bummer for you.”_

_Haseul playfully slapped Yeojin’s shoulder who gave out a loud yell. Someone yelped in surprise from an alcove and they looked over to see who it was._

_They apologized for startling Yerim who was trying to busy herself after finding out she wasn’t going to be a knight. Yeojin got her rejection letter earlier that morning but it’s not like she hadn’t stopped trying since she was ten._

_They had their issues, worrying if this concert tour was a good idea for their parents. With everyone scrambling to have some sense of normalcy, the council suggesting sending their best musicians out to lift up the spirits of the citizens. Yongguk and Minzy were the first selections with their impeccable rhythm, lyrics and contrasting yet wonderfully harmonizing voices._

_Haseul and Yeojin were asked to stay._

_(Haseul had her own reasons. They believed Yeojin wasn’t of age yet.)_

_Given their size difference, it was laughable when Yeojin took Yerim into their arms. But Yeojin looking up to her sister, pouting - needing guidance consoling Yerim who rarely cried - made Haseul melt._

\---

They hadn’t stopped being romantic since Jinsol’s vendetta began but it had never felt this complete in a while. Jungeun was on cloud nine, ten, and beyond as they lay in bed together.

“We should start preparing for the Has moving back in.”

Jinsol groaned. One way to ruin the romantic mood is talking about your best friend and her wife and child. Jungeun snuggled up to her side to make up for the distraction.

“What’ll they be on paper?” Jinsol closed her eyes, trying not to give into her wife’s mischief.

“Well, Jiwoo we can reinstate as a handmaiden even if she won’t do anything,” Jungeun smiled at Jinsol’s chivalry. “Maybe Sooyoung as well.”

They let the silence fill in for what they wanted to offer the Has instead. Yerim didn’t have a lot of chores compared to most handmaidens. With Jiwoo around, maybe that’ll let the young girl pursue other interests. They felt guilty for not letting her take after her sister but Yerim and Hyunjin were different people. Yerim couldn’t even hurt a cockroach, how could they make her put her own life on the line at the battlefield?

With Sooyoung, it would’ve been respectful to offer her a knight position.

How receptive would the council be in re-dubbing a once-deceased knight though?

Hyejoo’s new position guaranteed a residency for her parents if the queens approved. (They did.) Sooyoung didn’t need to be a knight anymore.

With Jungeun tracing nondescript patterns around Jinsol’s chest and Jinsol holding her close and steady, the queens wondered if knighthood was still a dream for Sooyoung and if so, how they’d let her attain it.

(Jungeun was stalling her own confession - the panic attacks, the nightmares, the hyperventilating - but since Jinsol was here to stay for a while, she could tell her all about it tomorrow.

Definitely tomorrow.)

\---

_“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!” Haseul screamed. _

_Sooyoung was barely exerting any effort holding back the court musician but she gritted her teeth for effect._

_“You’re lucky she’s holding me back!”_

_Vivi saw through the act, hiding her blushing face behind the grocery baskets, with Jiwoo at her side sucking in her lips. They had gone for a quick trip to the market which resulted in a would-be tussle in the town square._

_While getting vegetables, Vivi’s native tongue had her stumbling over some of the names and the merchant was not very open-minded with her botched pronunciation._

_Neither was Haseul who felt the need to defend the new resident of the Jung castle._

_Vivi had been nothing but kind to everyone in her midst since her arrival. She was selfless and loving and thoughtful and had such a cute laugh and was so so so...undeserving of prejudice. One highly charged slur and Haseul was flying over the wooden tables in Vivi’s honor._

_“Yeah, you better run!” Haseul called out._

_“I think they’re going to fetch the market’s watch guard,” Jiwoo explained, taking the time to fill her basket with the unattended produce._

_They were living lavish now but a freebie was a freebie. She was a farmer girl at heart. Releasing the girl, Sooyoung joined her fiance, ready to flash her crest when the guard arrived. She had more authority, being a seneschal, one rank lower than the highest honor. _

_“You didn’t need to do that,” Vivi said, touching Haseul’s arm gently._

_The girl was heaving and Vivi thought the exhausted and exasperated look was quite becoming on the girl._

_Woah, Vivi, hang on. She’s your coworker._

_Even if she did look ravishing when she was angry._

_“You don’t need to be my knight in shining armor,” Vivi explained, hoping it wouldn’t be translated wrong like she was misheard moments ago._

_The pout on Haseul’s face wasn’t the response she was going for but it got a giggle out of the physician._

_“Yeah, I’m right here,” Sooyoung butted in, grinning at Jiwoo’s cheery laugh as they stole half the merchant’s unattended produce._

\---

“This is the border?”

“This is the border.”

Hyejoo and Hyunjin’s conversations were as stale as the air around them.

Hyunjin didn’t want to look like she used favoritism to get Hyejoo on her cohort so tried to appear as impassive as possible. But Hyejoo asked if she needed a laxative a few kilometers back; she needed to lighten up.

Hyejoo wasn’t sure what Hyunjin’s intentions were. As her excitement being a knight faded, she felt guilty that Hyunjin might have pitied her mothers and her. But Hyunjin asked Hyejoo if she didn’t mind taking guard while she slept which meant Hyunjin must’ve seen something noble in her.

No experienced knight would shut their eyes around one who has only been a trainee for one day.

One day.

That was all it took to change her fate and as she was riding closer and closer to the land of those who changed her destiny, she wondered if today would change it as well.

The air was musty and sharp, proof that they were getting farther and farther from civilization. Hyejoo was used to it. It was the same odor she exuded if she was negligent with her cleanliness. The sweat of a werewolf was quite distinguishable.

(Her first year as one meant trying to mask the scent with different fruits. She tried pineapples - reminiscent of a certain someone - for quite a while after raiding a produce carriage but her mothers said she wasn’t allowed to do that anymore.)

She wondered how Hyunjin was stomaching it. She must’ve been around wolves a lot to brush off the smell.

A solo howl echoed through the air and the two knights readied their swords.

Hyejoo was careful not to touch the silver edges.

\---

_“I’m going to be a knight just like my mom and dad!” Hyunjin puffed out her chest, only to groan in pain from pounding on it with a proud fist._

_Sooyoung and a very pregnant Jiwoo laughed at the child’s announcement. She had been running around the castle declaring her new dream in life._

_It was her only dream really._

_Whereas Heejin flopped between different careers, even making some up as she went._

_(‘I’m going to jump off buildings and fly.’_

_‘Yeah that’s nice dear. Please honey, come check what’s wrong with your daughter?’ A healthy Key would ask, brushing the horses._

_‘Oh so she’s suddenly my daughter when she says something weird,’ A healthy IU would reply.)_

_But they entertained the child. She was young and maybe she’d pursue something else._

_Sooyoung was quite tickled with the fact that even if she wasn’t hers biologically, maybe baby Yerim would be an exterminator like Sooyoung’s father with the way she always seemed to attract animals around her crib. (At least she didn’t eat them like her dad.)_

_Jiwoo jumped slightly, shushing her belly._

_Sooyoung smiled and put her hand over her protruding stomach. It took a lot of work to get Jiwoo pregnant. Neither of them coming from a royal bloodlines to carry children among same gender pairings - but the witches heeded their call._

_(Sooyoung brushed off the ominous warning that their future child will be one of a kind. Of course they would be, it’ll be their child, Sooyoung reasoned.)_

_“Stop kicking your mother. That’s not very nice. Don’t make me come in there.”_

_Jiwoo giggled and fell into her wife’s embrace, Sooyoung’s long arms easily reached around both of them. Sooyoung always had a soft side underneath all that armor. It took a while to get to it. But now that she’s witnessed it, Jiwoo hoped she would never change._

_Knighthood could do quite a number on people._

_At least her best friend and her wife never had to worry about that. They rarely had to put each other in the face of danger with their inherited careers._

_The young couple looked over at the queens who were cooing at Chaewon who had just awoken from her nap. Jinsol making funny faces that got Jungeun laughing more than the child who raised what would’ve been an eyebrow - if she had more hair - at her silly mother._

_“Stop that, I’ll drop her,” Jungeun managed to say through her giggles._

_“Then stop laughing.”_

_“You know I can’t do that around you,” Jungeun laughed louder as Jinsol blew a raspberry on the side of Jungeun’s neck to get Chaewon to at least smile._

_It worked._

_And Jinsol and Jungeun fell more in love with their daughter._

_Around them, Hyunjin was telling everyone her career plan, even going up to her parents who were rocking her newborn sister in her bassinet. She tilted Yerim her way, making her father freak out at Yerim almost falling out._

_“Yerim, I’m going to be a knight to protect you and make the whole world safe!”_

_“Are you sure, Hyunjin? You have a choice, you know,” Jinsol baited, her warm breath tickling Jungeun’s neck._

_Sooyoung and Jiwoo watched the exchange fondly. Whoever their little one was going to be, they wanted to make sure they had a choice as well._

_“I’m so sure!”_

\---

“You seem jittery,” Yerim pointed out, fluffing Chaewon’s pillows for the night.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Yerim noticed how Chaewon hid a small smile with every small task she was doing. She even smiled while grinding ginger.

(It bewildered Heejin who had been on edge since Hyunjin’s departure.)

If she didn’t know any better - and if she wasn’t reminded of her proper place - Yerim would think that the princess was developing a crush. Yerim had seen that dreamy look before on Hyunjin’s face towards someone not-so-secret and even if that expression was buried underneath that knight exterior, someone not-so-secret still showed that look whenever her sister wasn’t looking.

The definition of unrequited love if one saw it.

Yerim hoped whoever Chaewon was thinking of would return the gaze equally.

“It wouldn’t happen to be caused by a certain someone?”

Chaewon sputtered her lips, spit spraying across her dresser. 

“I apologize for suggesting such a thing,” Yerim shook her head in amusement.

Chaewon reached over for a face towel so Yerim didn’t have to clean up the mirror. She was already doing too much by turning down her bed. But the princess knew she was busying herself with the absence of her sister.

(Much like Heejin who cooked three types of chicken for dinner tonight.)

“As you should,” Chaewon fake scolded, knowing her handmaiden wouldn’t take it to heart. “Besides, I’m a princess. I’m to be married.”

Yerim stopped mid-fluff, looking at Chaewon’s face through her dresser mirror. If she only heard the phrase, she would’ve been convinced but the smile disappearing said otherwise. Why didn’t the queens submit that petition abolishing arranged marriages they found years ago? Would it be out of place to suggest it? But that would mean admitting they had been snooping around Jinsol’s office.

If she could ask Hyunjin, she would. But the council had granted Hyunjin many favors already. This recent one being, taking a first year knight on an excursion to wolf territory.

Yerim saw through it. Hyunjin was being noble in saving Jinsol and Jungeun’s marriage. But she was also running away.

She trusted Hyunjin would use her talents to keep herself safe.

Their family was gifted in that regard.

And upon hearing Chaewon’s heartbeat grow shallow at the thought of an arranged marriage - another acquired talent in their family - Yerim hoped she would keep Hyejoo safe as well.

For Chaewon’s sake.

\---

_Yerim brought dishonor on herself._

_If they had a cow, she would have brought dishonor on it as well._

_A chapped but dainty hand lifted her tear soaked chin up and she looked into her sister’s forgiving eyes._

_She had applied for knight candidacy and they were to hear the results tonight. Yeojin and her were the only two left in the castle without an “official” job and wanted to occupy their time._

_Yeojin was adamant that being a knight would make Chaewon like her back - hoping the Jungs would hasten the abolishment of arranged marriages soon so she’d have a chance._

_Yerim wanted to follow in her family’s footsteps. It was all she knew._

_In a twisted way, she was sort of glad her parents weren’t alive to witness this disappointment. Her sister had passed all examinations, setting new records and breaking the barriers for young women in the cavalry. Sooyoung - may she rest in peace - had paved the way but Hyunjin made her own path as well._

_But Yerim’s path had come to a stop._

_Like a rotund sleeping furry monster was in her way and could only be awoken with a flute to unblock it._

_She had failed the application process and hearing Yeojin say goodbye to her parents a corridor away, she wondered if Yeojin got accepted as well. She wasn’t sure how she would face the queens tomorrow morning._

_“I’m sorry Hyun,” Yerim sobbed, trying to be strong like her sister._

_Hyunjin merely shook her head. Jinsol and Jungeun had been a part of the selection process and they had turned down three applications from their own castle hold._

_(One of them left a sour taste in Hyunjin’s mouth. It wasn’t her sister’s or Yeojin’s.)_

_The queens were working on giving out other positions to the rejected girls so as not to squander their hopes yet but were stuck not wanting to belittle their talents and expertise. Hyunjin’s talented ears could hear them sharing ideas in another corridor._

_The knight brought her sister in for a hug, not minding the tears staining her dress shirt, hiding her relief that her sister didn’t pass._

\---

“So our daughter’s a knight.”

“Uh-huh.”

Sooyoung and Jiwoo lay in the still of the night, not fearing the top bunk would fall on them soon. Per the Jungs’ request which involved Yeojin yelling at the top of her longs, reading a scroll longer than her height, they were to move into the Jung castle permanently.

Jinsol sure did move fast.

(Funnily enough, it was Jinsol that needed to return to the Jung castle more than Sooyoung.)

Jiwoo could feel Sooyoung tense under her and tried to look at her wife as best she could in the dark. Under the moonlight, she could see Sooyoung frowning.

“You’re not envious are you?”

“What makes you say that?”

“Sooyoungie, you know what I mean. That it’s Hyejoo that got us back into the Jung castle. Not you.”

If there was a medal for crass, it would go to Jiwoo. Her boldness contradicted her soft features but that was why Sooyoung admired her so much. Without her boldness, they probably wouldn’t even be married.

Sooyoung claimed proposal privileges but Jiwoo claimed wanting to marry her before Sooyoung even knew they were official.

“Is it bad that I am?” Sooyoung sighed.

She wanted to give her daughter the glory but she also didn’t want anyone in her family to put their life on the line. How Jiwoo must’ve felt all those nights when she’d ride off. She saw the chalk smudged on Jiwoo’s wall, counting down the days she’d return. A knight must sacrifice oneself for the kingdom. How Jiwoo remained optimistic was beyond her.

“I’m a terrible mother.” Sooyoung turned her body to look at Jiwoo as best the could.

“No, you’re far from it,” Jiwoo brushed some of Sooyoung’s hair back, thinking back to the days when she wondered if she would be able to touch her girlfriend.

Or if she’d come back in a coffin.

“Hyejoo will be fine.”

“I know she will.”

Hyejoo was not Sooyoung. As much as they didn’t want to admit it, Hyejoo being a knight was a safe risk than Sooyoung being one.

They hoped Hyunjin wouldn’t figure out why that was the case.

\---

_Yerim’s cries let up as Hyunjin fetched her something to eat from the kitchen._

_(She tried hiding her smile as Hyunjin going to the kitchen alone might hopefully lead to her talking to Heejin. The two former best friends needed to talk.)_

_But once she was out of hearing range - which was much further than a human’s - Yerim’s cries started again._

_Vivi passed by briefly to give her a yellow handkerchief, finally finding good use for the random goodies the council brought, and continued on her way._

_She liked that about Vivi._

_She never prodded. Never asked. But always knew what everyone needed._

_Much unlike the girl who took her into her tiny arms. Or tried to. Yerim had gone through her growth spurt but Yeojin was a little behind._

_“Hey don’t cry. You’re so cute...ahah,” Yeojin tried to salvage, rocking the rejected candidate back and forth like she was on a bumpy carriage with one wheel._

_“Did...did you get in?” Yerim hiccuped, finding the motion sort of comforting. If she had the chance to travel, she would like to visit an amusement fair._

_But that was out of the question as she would be stuck in the castle for years to come._

_Hyunjin had talked about how there were more options than knighthood out there. She only picked it because it ran in their blood. Before Yerim could refute that they come from the same line, Hyunjin had bravely said she would brave enough for the both of them. She would make the world safe for her._

_(Yerim didn’t miss that Hyunjin wanted to add another name.)_

_“Nope,” Yeojin declared. “But I won’t give up. Not now. Not ever.”_

_“For Chaewon right?”_

_Yeojin shook her head, her hair falling in front of her face._

_“I have a feeling she doesn’t like me like that anyway.”_

_Good job Yeojin. Took you a few years but you got there._

_“I’m going to be a knight for myself!” Yeojin stood up proudly, almost knocking Yerim off the bench, pounding her chest like it wore a knight crest._

_Haseul had stepped back when the two girls were deep in conversation, watching Yeojin’s attempts to cheer up her friend behind one of the archways. Yeojin could be abrasive but she had a good heart. That’s why it surprised Haseul that she got over everything quickly. Unlike others in the castle, she never held onto a grudge or past digressions. She made a paper airplane out of her rejection letter and high-fived her parents on the way out like they were guaranteed to return._

_Haseul knew both the girls since birth and witnessed them grow up into beautiful ladies. She would’ve loved to take them with her when she went on her own music tour. She should channel her own inner Yeojin one day._

_(Being cursed had its drawbacks…)_

_Yerim couldn’t help but giggle. If there was anyone that possessed the pride needed to be a knight, it was Yeojin._

\---

Yeojin sighed.

Yeojin sighed again but louder.

Before she could take in any more air, Haseul spoke up.

“What’s bothering you, Yeojin?”

Much better.

Unlike Hyunjin and Yerim who had some type of a psychic sister intuition, it took a while for Haseul and Yeojin to even know the other was feeling down. Haseul blamed Yeojin never taking anything seriously. Yeojin blamed their generational difference.

“What does Hyejoo have that I don’t have?”

Haseul dropped the towels she was folding and pulled up a chair towards her sister moping on their shared bed. Yeojin couldn’t look at her in the eyes. A sympathetic sister was one way to get the waterworks going. She avoided feelings like the plague.

What brought about this side of Yeojin, Haseul wasn’t sure.

Was it the premature knighting?

Was it that she secured a place in the castle for her parents?

Was it that Chaewon wanted to spend every waking moment by her side?

“You’re still not over Chaewon,” Haseul kicked herself in the head for her wording. Vivi gave a whole lesson about how each word in a sentence had meaning and she wasn’t practicing what she preached.

“I don’t know,” Yeojin shrugged.

She was bitter that Hyejoo was riding off on a horse that could’ve been hers with a crest that could’ve been on her chest attracting a princess she had a crush on. Had? She still liked her right?

“I mean, we’ve been here for so long. Who else am I supposed to date? It’s either her which won’t happen because tradition. Or Yerim and that’s just weird..”

Haseul smiled. Sometimes she didn’t need to try when Yeojin easily brought the mood up herself.

(She tried not to think of the princess’ inevitable marriage. It would stir up drama in the castle for sure but that day was in the distant future. Right now, they had to prepare the spare bedrooms for the Has.)

“Why is that weird?”

“I don’t know. It just is. She’s kinda like a sister to me.”

Haseul clutched at her chest. “And I’m not?”

“You’re more like my mother.”

Before Haseul could gasp, Yeojin let our a hearty but empty laugh.

The younger sister shouldn’t be jealous of Hyejoo. Everyone had their own paths in life. It took over twenty years for Aunt Jinsol to do something about her complacency but look how that turned out. 

Vivi was born into a healer family. Heejin struggled but found her place besides a few bumps in the road. (Heejin applying to be a knight that one year was still strange to everyone in the castle.)

Hyunjin wanted to be a knight since birth.

Yerim was figuring it out. 

Yeojin figured like the other pair of sisters, Haseul would take after their parents and she’d be like Yerim figuring it out.

But Haseul had yet to leave the castle - their parents were missing in action - and Yeojin was grasping at a dream that was as good as dead.

\---

_“Step up right and see the amazing Yeo-Genie!”_

_“Bang Yeojin, you step down this instant.”_

_“No, I like feeling tall!”_

_Haseul dragged Yeojin off of her apple box before a crowd started forming around her. She turns her back for five seconds and her sister was gone and so was the giant suitcase she insisted on taking with her to the market._

_It wouldn’t be so stressful if it was Vivi she took to the market but Vivi was tending to Jinsol’s welts from her last quest - something Jungeun didn’t and shouldn’t know. They had snuck her into their room late at night and they waited for the swelling to go down before properly welcoming her home._

_That meant that Jinsol slept in Haseul and Yeojin’s room while they squeezed into Vivi and Heejin’s room._

_Heejin didn’t mind the extra bodies._

_Haseul was still flushed from waking up pressed against Vivi._

_Maybe she could buy something down here to help with heart palpitations as she was still too shy to ask Vivi to fix that problem for her._

_(If she was more observant, she’d know it started the moment the Kim kingdom staff moved in.)_

_Yeojin gnawed at the hand covering her mouth to keep her silent as Haseul took her to an empty alleyway, wiping her hand on her shirt._

_“I told you not to do that!”_

_They should’ve never told Yeojin about jesters, magicians, and gladiators. You see, before werewolves were banished, the non-human species made excellent entertainment. Healers would perform magic tricks. Sirens would provide lovely music by the waterfront. Werewolves got the short end of it. _

_Royals would take advantage of the full moon and send their weakest cattle to a colosseum where wolves would duke it out while royals and dignitaries took bets on which wolf would survive._

_No wonder they hated humans now._

_“Well, I’m not going to be bored around the castle and wait around for another bid. I got to make money somehow.”_

_A few days ago, Yeojin lost another chance at knight training - again - so naturally, one would change their career. Haseul did it and was now a teacher on top of all her household chores. But Haseul didn’t think Yeojin would try to become a show-woman. Did she even know how to perform magic?_

_(Vivi would show Yeojin a few slight at hand tricks to get her to leave her luggage alone - that Yeojin was convinced was filled with potions and magic wands - but Haseul didn’t need to know that.)_

_Haseul knew Yeojin was only looking out for herself. She would be eighteen in a few years. Usually one should’ve figured out their lifelong career by then. Sometimes taking out exorbitant amounts of money to achieve that dream, only having to work long hours to pay back those high interest loans. But Haseul couldn’t feel the sting of Yeojin’s frustrations of being stuck in the castle was partially her own fault._

_Yeojin caught the downcast look on Haseul’s face and needed to salvage it. Haseul still needed time. Her curse and the one who gave it to her made her lose her confidence. Yeojin wasn’t in the bar that night - Hyunjin would never tell her what happened - but she could hear Haseul crying in her sleep, arguing back with someone._

_“You want to see a magic trick I learned, Haseul?”_

_Yeojin couldn’t fight as well as Hyunjin did to ensure Yerim’s security and wealth but she knew how to charm her way around. If there was one thing she inherited from her family, besides their weird love for water, it was the love for show biz._

_One day, she’d be able to ensure Haseul’s security and wealth._

_With or without a knight’s crest._

\---

“And that one?”

“Sirius B,” she whispered into her lover’s ear, making her giggle. It wasn’t even a seductive word, she just liked getting a rise out of her.

With the Moon kingdom having the prime location for stargazing, Jinsol had learned - from a woman the council sent up to her room to “please” - the different constellations in the night sky.

The first time someone was sent to her room, Jinsol was shocked. She didn’t want to offend the council but she also didn’t want to commit adultery. Instead, she took care of the escorts in other ways. Making them something to eat, teaching them piano, or asking them tidbits of trivia she could bring home with her.

She never kept that a secret from Jungeun. It wasn’t a new tradition. Royals were promiscuous since the beginning of their rise to power.

But not them.

Jinsol could never imagine holding someone else the same way she held Jungeun as they lay across a lounge chair on their one and only balcony in the castle.

“Was she pretty?” Jungeun asked, not an ounce of jealousy dripping from her voice.

Jinsol had proven a lot over the past few days. Even telling her about her bedroom “romps” was something some other wife would be insecure over. But not her.

Not when Jinsol’s already done so much.

“I guess,” Jinsol shrugged. Honestly speaking, the one who taught her about the sky drawings was a beauty. “But she-”

“Could never compare?” Jungeun completed, a hint of a smile stretching across her lips.

“Never,” Jinsol breathed, nuzzling deeper into Jungeun’s neck as they winded down for the night.

They didn’t do much, if anything at all, throughout the day but the feeling of being wrapped up around each other without a care in the world was overwhelming. Jinsol had never felt freer even if she was inside brick walls and Jungeun had never felt more adored even if she was one of the most coveted queens of their generation.

(Albeit a small group consensus that she deserved asylum.)

Rustlings brought them out of their dreamscape as they saw someone making their way back down the castle steps. The footsteps coming from their daughter’s room startled them as she shouldn’t have any late night visitors.

“Yerim?”

“Oh? Aunt Jinsol and Aunt Jungeun,” Yerim greeted, standing at the doorway to the balcony to not impose on their private moment. It was nice to be addressing them together. When she called them down for supper, she practically squealed in her apron. 

The queens smiled. Yerim being a similar age as Chaewon made them see her as another daughter. Except quieter and more behaved.

“And what were Chaewon and you up to these past hours?”

“Nothing. Just chatting. She doesn’t let me do anything.”

“As she should,” Jinsol corrected.

They were reminded of when they first offered Jiwoo the handmaiden position just to keep her nearby and refusing to let her lift a finger more than necessary. It would be the case when she returned to the castle with Sooyoung, and later Hyejoo. They could and can take care of themselves.

So can Chaewon.

“I even offered to wash all of her Kirbys.”

A shiver rushed through Jungeun’s body but Jinsol was there to hold her steady through it.

Her own knight in shining armor.

Hopefully now without the dangerous quests behind her.

(Jungeun should really tell Jinsol the true diagnosis of her condition - post traumatic stress disorder - but she couldn’t let such a wonderful day end with bad news.)

“It’s quite alright Yerim. I will wash them in my free time,” Jungeun said.

“And I will help!” Jinsol volunteered, raising her hand like a child.

How this woman killed wolves by the dozen still astounded them.

“But-”

“Good night Yerim,” the queens sang out, in perfect harmony.

As they should always be.

Jungeun sunk back into Jinsol’s embrace, adjusting herself so Jinsol’s legs wouldn’t go numb. But Jinsol rearranged her anyway, wanting to feel every inch of her body pressed against her. Pulling her impossibly tighter and expressing how much she truly loved her presence surrounding her.

“Did I tell you how exceptionally beautiful you look tonight?”

“You’ve been non-stop with the flattery, Jung Jinsol.”

“Well, I have a lot of lost time to make up for,” Jinsol tried to disguise her guilt but Jungeun heard through it. Turning her head slightly, she nipped at Jinsol’s jaw lightly and again and again to get her out of her stupor.

But Jinsol’s eyebrows were creased, concentrating on something different.

“That’s three hundred and sixty five days a year with me being gone at most fifteen to twenty-five days a month,” Jinsol computed out loud. “Wait, let me get my abacus.”

Jungeun wouldn’t let her leave, planting herself further into her wife’s lap, knowing numbers were her wife’s best friend and how easy she got lost in them. One of the many things that stayed constant in their relationship. Unlike the constellations in the sky. Reading her mind - another constant in their relationship - Jinsol kissed her lightly below her ears.

“The stars stay in place but we see different constellations in different seasons but no matter what happens, I’ll be there. All three hundred and sixty five days.”

Jungeun choked up inside, wondering what she ever did to deserve such treatment, and disguised it as a yawn when Jinsol asked if her throat was alright.

(She would tell her soon.) 

\---

_“Jeon Heejin of the Jung castle.”_

_Three voters at the table snapped their heads at the same time. Jinsol, Jungeun, and Hyunjin expected Yerim and Yeojin’s applications but Heejin’s was a surprise._

_And not a pleasant one._

_Jinsol and Jungeun didn’t have any place to judge. Heejin was born from a cook and a stable boy and promoted to head cook so early to prevent her from leaving the castle. It was normal for her to want to explore other options._

_They didn’t think knighthood was it._

_Neither did Hyunjin._

_When the council called for any objections, Hyunjin raised her hand quickly, listing out how kicking her out would be good for her. According to Hyunjin, Heejin suited “other concepts” better._

_Jinsol reached for Jungeun’s hand under the table, sensing a melancholic tinge in Hyunjin’s voice that the council wouldn’t - they were incapable of sympathy - pick up on._

_Hyunjin had objected to Yerim’s, Yeojin’s, and countless other bids._

_But Heejin’s didn’t need such a lengthy explanation._

_The queens knew why. Hyunjin and Heejin barely stayed in the same room for longer than an hour so this tirade should’ve been unwarranted. But the queens could see Hyunjin trembling from where she was sitting. Knees knocking and fingers fiddling. There was a deeper reason than Heejin being unskilled and untrained. _

_It was the same reason why Jinsol would object to Jungeun’s bid if she ever submitted one and why Jungeun would do that same for Jinsol._

_(Jinsol did recently behind her back but Jungeun didn’t need to know yet.)_

_Hyunjin would have to bear the brunt of the rumors that would circulate._

_Jinsol and Jungeun could feel the council start hypothesizing what brought about this hasty objection. It would impact her reputation but when was a knight’s record ever clean? Hyunjin already had a bar fight brawl - witnessed by Haseul of all people - on her record and lost her crest for a few months._

_But Hyunjin was resilient._

_The royal couple believed in Hyunjin enough to know she’d learn from it, however long it took._

\---

“Can’t sleep?”

Vivi waited in the archway as Heejin straightened out the kitchen for the new deliveries that weren’t due for another week.

The young cook had a unique upbringing. While the rest of them were thrown into the jobs they had now due to the attack, Heejin’s parents died of sickness. By the time Vivi had noticed the warning signs, it was too late and they were too advanced for any Eastern of Western medicine to heal.

(Vivi still blamed herself partly for the reason of Heejin’s orphan status. Which is why on paper, to keep Heejin out of the for-profit institutions, Heejin was lawfully “one of her own.”)

They didn’t possess the sibling intuition the Dong sisters had or the vibe the Bang sisters were perfecting but Heejin and Vivi had a loving relationship of their own, nurtured from loss and survival.

And with Jiwoo and Sooyoung returning, the original Kim castle staff would be back on board.

But Vivi knew Heejin really wanted the permanent return of another side of the castle.

The Jung side perhaps. Perhaps a certain knight.

“Why does she have to be a hero?” 

“Do you want my advice?” 

Heejin nodded.

Vivi was magical that way. Vivi only offered advice if asked. Maybe she could make a career out of it listening to other people’s problems and helping them sort through them. Heejin wondered what kind of profession that would be.

“I think it’s more than Hyunjin wanting to be a hero.”

“Who said I was talking about her? I could’ve been talking about Hyejoo.”

Vivi raised an eyebrow and pulled out a bar stool whereas Heejin sat atop one of the counters. Even in her early twenties, Heejin still felt like she was a kid. Especially when someone as wise and wizened as Vivi was around.

(Not that she was old. Just clearly the most mature. Heejin walked past Haseul whacking Yeojin with unfolded towels on her way to the kitchen and could hear Jinsol and Jungeun having a tickle war in the stairway.)

“What’s Hyejoo’s favorite color?”

“Pink?”

Vivi chuckled. The only time Hyejoo wore pink was when Chaewon draped a blanket around her in class when the colder season was coming in. She hated those pink stuffed Kirbys with a passion and it transferred to all things associated with that color.

“Well why did you want to be a cook?”

“To make my parents proud of course,” Heejin replied like a broken royal announcer.

What else was she supposed to do?

“Hyunjin is doing the same,” Vivi took Heejin’s hands in hers, soothing her jitters since Hyunjin left.

“But she’s already made her parents proud! Look at her records. Look at her portrait hanging in the hall.”

(Heejin may have stared at it more than she’d like to admit.)

“...She doesn’t need to do this anymore.”

Like Jinsol, Hyunjin already proved herself. There came a time when a knight needed to step down. And even if Hyunjin was young, she accomplished greater deeds than most knights did in a lifetime. Heejin didn’t want the reason she stepped down to be because of a serious injury or even death. One either died a hero or lived long enough to see oneself become a villain.

Heejin took that from one of her illustrated novels.

“You know, neither do you,” Vivi offered.

Vivi loved her job. She was born into it, groomed into it, and studied hard so she would be good at it. She’s seen death up close and fought for people’s right to healthcare with her every breath - begging to tears to keep Jungeun’s place in the castle - and wore her doctor badge humbly.

“You know I keep forgetting, you’re technically my mom,” Heejin blushed.

Vivi smiled.

She never forgot but she never wore it on her sleeve. Heejin could take care of herself and at the time of her adoption, she never stopped referring to her as Aunt Vivi or Teacher Vivi or Doctor.

(Once Haseul accidentally called her “mom” to tease her on her new status but the reaction she got still embarrassed both of them to this day. after all, Haseul was her other adoptive mother but we’ll get to that at a later time.)

Heejin and Hyunjin chose careers because that’s what they thought they ought to do. Some people weren’t as lucky (i.e. Jinsol, Jungeun, Chaewon) and were born to lead without a choice.

But these girls were given one and it was time they learned their true potential.

For Heejin’s case, she hoped that in finding her passion, she could move on from more than a career.

\---

_Hyunjin winced as she almost dropped the pot of warm milk._

_She forgot she wasn’t wearing mitts, too lost in her own thoughts about Yerim not getting a training spot, Yeojin submitting for the umpteenth time, and Heejin’s surprise bid._

_Why did Heejin want to become a knight?_

_When did Heejin want to become a knight?_

_Hyunjin made a fool of herself turning Heejin down. She could hear the names they were calling her as the council filed out._

_A female dog._

_A mutt._

_A snake._

_(Her sass wanted to quip that she was actually a descendant of wolves but she had a sister to protect.)_

_Warming up some milk for her depressed sister, she poured what she didn’t spill into a mug. She opened the secret compartment of cookies Heejin usually kept. But the door wouldn’t budge._

_“They’ve been moved above the wash bins,” a warm voice called from the kitchen archway._

_Hyunjin nodded and fetched the treats from the rerouted location._

_How long had she been gone for Heejin to change the kitchen layout? Did she not want her to find her stash of snacks anymore? Did she know Hyunjin would turn her application away? How long had she wanted to be a knight?_

_“Don’t beat yourself up for this Hyunjin,” Jungeun was now standing beside Hyunjin, snatching up two cookies behind her shoulder. The other one, likely for Jinsol who lost rock-paper-scissors to bid the decrepit council goodbye._

_They were at a stalemate suggesting careers for two of the rejected girls for knight candidacy. They were getting to the age where unemployment would soon be a label for them and Jinsol and Jungeun were not going to let that be a reason why they had to leave the castle._

_So far they had handmaiden for sweet Yerim._

_Yeojin’s job pool remained blank._

_“I’m not,” Hyunjin said unconvincingly. “I’m not.”_

_Jungeun kept mum._

_She had a small grudge against Hyunjin who had secretly submitted a request for Jinsol to join her on her next quest. But her grudge should’ve been against her inconspicuous wife. She also knew they made their decisions on good intentions. _

_Hyunjin rejected her three castlemates, including her own flesh and blood, to keep them safe._

_Maybe Jinsol was doing the same._

_Jungeun would let Jinsol play her knight-in-shining-armor obsession. She just hoped the moment was short-lived and after a few successful quests, she’d be home safely in her arms._

_(Little did she know, it would take years before Jinsol got a rude awakening on the fencing piste.)_

_“What you did was uncalled for and foolish but there were reasons behind them. We understand that.”_

_“Permission to—.”_

_Jungeun glared. Hyunjin didn’t need to do that when they were in private. She must have been away for so long to have difficulties reverting back to her niece personality. Jungeun hoped nothing like that happened to Jinsol._

_(Again, Jungeun, too much hope.)_

_“Right. Aunt Jungeun, they’re going to hate me again.”_

_“Not if I can help it,” Jungeun smiled, wielding her power._

_Hyunjin could only nod. She knew Jungeun wouldn’t leave the castle for her. She hadn’t left the castle for anybody. She would most likely tell Jinsol to help garnish Hyunjin’s reputation from the safety of her own throne. But Hyunjin couldn’t blame the queen. She had been through a lot. It’s why Jinsol was eager to join her._

_Taking a bite out of her cookie, Jungeun gave Hyunjin a good night and left her alone in her thoughts, hoping she’d figure it out soon._

_(As she wished the same towards her wife.)_

\---

Hyunjin stoked the fire quietly, observing how stiff Hyejoo was as they made dinner.

She knew Hyejoo was capable of finding a better grade of venison but Hyejoo was wisely holding herself back.

Much like Hyunjin did during her rookie days.

It had been an awkward stakeout with Hyejoo keeping pace beside Hyunjin and Hyunjin trying not to overdo it with Hyejoo. The dance they had resorted to claimed no casualties and no leads to where the wolves had moved their lair.

They were to return tomorrow per the council’s request.

It was more of a test for both of them.

If Hyunjin could lead and if Hyejoo could survive. They both knew they would.

“You hungry?” Hyunjin offered Hyejoo the bigger chunk of meat.

Hyejoo jerked at the silver-tipped sword holding the piece of meat and Hyunjin drew it back.

(Both knowing the reason why Hyejoo didn’t accept the meat. Hyunjin was far down the family tree to not be affected by the alloy but Hyejoo was the first in her generation. They both should’ve been smarter.)

“Right, sorry.”

“Huh?”

“You don’t like dark meat, right?”

“Oh I do. Just not hungry,” Hyejoo acted coolly.

“Right,” Hyunjin acted the same.

Hyejoo shook her head even if her mouth was watering. She could down that piece in a few bites. Hyunjin had seen her eat at the Jung table so she shouldn’t hold herself back here. But this felt different. Almost like Hyunjin was provoking her. Telling Hyejoo to take the lead in some areas to see what she was capable of. She wouldn’t be surprised if Hyunjin would convince a wolf to tackle Hyejoo to see what she would do.

Hyejoo was grateful. She wasn’t sure if she could kill her kind yet.

Even if she was wearing a crest, it felt like it wasn’t truly deserved until Hyunjin told her…

“Noble job today, Hyejoo. I’m proud of you.”

Hyejoo’s ears perked up at the compliment.

Hyunjin didn’t want to scare off the new knight, listening to a familiar tune Hyejoo hummed every time she ate. (Recalling a time she heard it when Hyejoo was in a different body.) Even with their skewed levels of experience, Hyunjin felt safer with a wolf. Jinsol was admirable but she didn’t possess the feral instincts their kind had.

Yes, their kind because Hyejoo and her were one and the same. Hyunjin just didn’t know how to break it to Hyejoo yet.

“Thank you.”

But she had to play it safe. Her best kills were done without Jinsol’s eyes on her and without the royal witness, she could get away with more. But Jinsol and her were skimming the line between impressive and unbelievable.

Which is why she was okay that this mission with Hyejoo was a dud. 

Hyejoo wasn’t sure what the objective was but at least she would be returning home with a quest and a crest.

Her parents were waiting for her - probably with a lecture for not playing it “human” like she promised.

A part of her hoped Chaewon would be waiting for her too.

\---  
_Chaewon smirked as the knight paced back and forth behind the blue and red tapestries. Being one of the few female knights, Hyunjin would be going last._

_Another scandal had broken out of a princess courting a knight and while the council took further action, different kingdoms were throwing an event._

_A date auction._

_Chaewon found it odd to combat one dating scandal with a plethora of ones but she saw the monetary advantages to this. It would further fund the education board to adhere to their abstinence-only pedagogy._

_Hyunjin, being one of the only female bachelorette knights in the Jung kingdom, would be going last on the roster per Jungeun’s request._

_And only women within certain age brackets can bid on her, per Jinsol’s request._

_And the date must take place within the castle grounds, per Chaewon’s request._

_The queens were first scandalized to hear Chaewon’s small voice calling out from the doorway. She wasn’t supposed to be listening in on their council briefing but she was wise in suggesting Hyunjin’s terms. Any woman could be paid a percentage to bet for a man for Hyunjin and that way, the young knight and her date would be within the vicinity of Jinsol’s sword._

_Jungeun laughed, knowing Jinsol couldn’t do much damage with that thing anyway. She was a bred and born pacifist._

_As knight Hyojung was bid a considerable amount of money to go on a date with barista Hyuna, Hyunjin peeked outside at whoever remained._

_Haseul and Vivi gave her a wave from their corner of the room. Yerim and Yeojin were giggling at the new couples forming before their eyes. Jinsol and Jungeun held solemn faces as their knights were cattled off, reminded of how their marriage started the same way. Paired up by who had the best monetary prospects. Chaewon left the table early because Jungeun and Jinsol decided to list off the reasons why their marriage was more real, one-upping each other. And Heejin…_

_Heejin?_

_There the cook was, clutching onto a pudgy book, most likely full of money._

_Who was she betting on?_

_Certainly not her?_

_Chaewon watched the action quietly, seeing Hyunjin’s widen in surprise. She was sure her throat bobbed as she gulped. Hopefully, in nervousness._

_If this evening ended well, maybe her parents would’ve have to waste their time chaperoning Hyunjin’s date because she’d be bought by someone whom they could trust._

\---

“Something troubling you, my love?”

Sometimes, Jinsol could read her like a book. Years of pretending to be cold towards her - and years figuring out if citizens were a non-human based on body language - made Jinsol perceptive.

(Something Chaewon inherited.)

Moment of truth, Jungeun.

Jinsol had already been so open with her transgressions, her regrets, her fears. They would’ve spent the whole day in that bed with Jungeun trying to kiss the pain away. But Haseul was adamant to get them down for Vivi’s not-so-secret birthday feast that night.

And it had been three days since then.

And she still hadn’t revealed a word of her apology.

But with the way Jinsol held her, kissed her, loved her, she couldn’t ruin it.

“Nothing.”

Jungeun couldn’t risk it. Jinsol sacrificed her knightly duties - which she loved right? - to be with her and even if she drilled it into her skull that Jinsol should put herself first, she couldn’t distract her wife from her personal growth.

What if she said the wrong thing and that triggered Jinsol to run off again? Would she have to wait another several years for Jinsol to return? She fell into Jinsol’s embrace, which was warmer than the fireplace could offer. How could she ruin this with her own problems?

She’ll tell her later.

“Nothing at all, my love.”

Definitely later.

\---

_“If I was a knight, they’d all be broke betting on me!”_

_Yerim giggled and pulled Yeojin to her chair, wondering where Chaewon was skipping off too._

_Looking over her shoulder, seeing Jinsol and Jungeun ensnared among themselves, Jungeun running her fingers up Jinsol’s arms, impressed at the muscles forming there from her training with Minho, Yerim understood why Chaewon ran off. Seeing couples in love, especially if they were your own parents, made one queasy._

_(She wondered if she’d react the same if her parents were alive and giggling in the corner.)_

_She also understood why Heejin was vibrating the entire bench next to them. She could hear her. A talent all wolves and wolf descendants had and could utilize if they trained it well. Not like Yerim was doing anything else around the castle anyway. She tuned into Heejin’s rapid heartbeat and shallow breathing._

_Clutching onto her novel with enough money to buy a horse, Heejin was anxious as Knight Hyojung took the stage. She fit the requirements - a woman and okay with a date in the royal castle - to be able to bet on the next knight._

_Dong Hyunjin._

_Yerim’s sister._

_And formerly Heejin’s best friend._

_Yerim imagined there were other ways to get someone who’s been avoiding you for years to talk to you but the flattery of being chosen and bought - even if it was demeaning - would prove useful. Sometimes, her sister’s head was thicker than her jousting helmet._

_Yerim hoped Heejin would win._

_They whole castle did._

_Little did Hyunjin know, everyone wanted to pitch into Heejin’s pot but she was stubborn. It was Minho that took her to the market with a small bindle. But Yerim knew what Heejin sold to make the money in time. The things she spent years collecting. It was ironic to sell them just for a taste of the real thing._

_Knight cards for a date with a real knight_

_They would make a good match with their thick skulls and secret-keeping, Yerim mused in her head._

\---

Hyunjin told Hyejoo to sleep well so she’ll keep guard the first shift.

But the rookie couldn’t sleep, Hyunjin hearing her heart racing from her position against the tree. Sonic hearing was useful hearing for predators but Hyejoo’s heart was too loud for her to concentrate on keeping watch.

“Can’t sleep?”

“No. Are you sure I can’t take the first shift?”

“Sleep Hyejoo.”

“Okay.”

A few uncomfortable turns under the blankets later.

“What’s the best part of being a knight?”

Hyunjin would answer this in an essay years ago - recalling when Heejin used to tell her to calm down at every bullet point she’d list with a proud fist banging on her chest. The fame and fortune had faded over time. In its place were sore muscles and unsettling consternation of assassination.

“Permission to speak freely?”

“Shouldn’t it be me asking you that question?” Hyejoo boasted, having memorized the training manual from table of contents to glossary, a few changes from her mother’s old guidebook.

“I don’t know if you’d like what I’d have to say,” Hyunjin kept her eyes at the moon. A little less than third quarter, she thought. 

But there was a formal name for it. She knew Hyejoo would know.

She only tracked the moon it for hunting purposes, the terminology didn’t matter. As long as it was full, she knew when she needed to be on guard. Unlike now, where she was listening fully to what Hyejoo was asking.

“Permission to listen freely?”

She could hear Hyunjin chuckle under her breath - Hyunjin knew she could.

“Being a knight is advantageous. Some of us own land, some of us collect taxes. Some of us spend our earnings at the brothel every other weekend. Not me though. It’s not my lifestyle. Not harlot-shaming anybody of course but...I like feeling like I did something great. Every time someone tells me I made them feel safer or I saved them, I feel like I did a lot.”

“Hmmmm…”

“Huh?”

“Just thinking.”

Hyejoo was expecting an answer like that. Hyunjin didn’t seem the type to wield her knight status for freebies or kisses. Was it selfish for her to be a knight for her family? Just because she thought her talents wouldn’t be put to waste?

Did she even consider the other populations she’d be serving?

“Why did you want to be a knight, Hyejoo? Back then, it was different but now with the wolf population decreasing, our job isn’t as dangerous. Most people are in it for the trading cards.”

“Oh I know.”

Hyunjin could see the color returning to Hyejoo’s face at the embarrassment flowing through her. She cocked her head in confusion.

“My mother used to collect my mom’s. She still has them.” Hyejoo shuddered - not from the cold, but embarrassment.

Hyunjin let out a barking laugh, feeling free to not be Knight Hyunjin anymore. And why shouldn’t she? Hyejoo should be able to trust her if they were going to partners.

One secret at a time.

As the wind whistled past them, Hyunjin could see Hyejoo letting her guard down as well. It was the most emotion Hyunjin had ever seen on the young knight’s face since she received her crest. She could see Hyejoo cease faking her shivers as the cold didn’t affect her, the blanket pooled around her ankles as the excited girl talked a mess about her mother fangirling over her knight in shining armor.

A phrase that was a metaphor to some lovers but not in their case.

Jiwoo waited for her knight after every mission, knowing death could be around the corner for both of them. Then, they mothered a child who took after their legacy.

Hyunjin had never admired Jiwoo as much until this moment.

As Hyejoo ranted, the seneschal wondered if Heejin had replenished her own stack of knight cards after the auction.

\---

_“I’m going to protect you!” Hyunjin tipped over the side of the stream to say to the fish, almost falling in._

_Vivi and Haseul were quick to come to her rescue as Hyorin was holding a fussy Yerim and Taeyang was receiving correspondence. Even Heejin joined in, ready to pull Hyunjin in. But Hyunjin was quick to save herself._

_“You don’t have to save me Heejin.”_

_“But I want to,” Heejin pouted._

_Haseul and Vivi melted at the exchange but quickly changed their moods by offering to play freeze tag. Haseul would be “it” of course. The rest of the castle watched the game in delight as the sun set in the Jung kingdom, setting an orange glow over the land._

_“And what about you, little one, are you going to make our kingdom safe?” Jungeun asked the wide-eyed Chaewon in her arms._

_“Well, she has to be a queen,” Jinsol sighed._

_If their daughter was anything like Jungeun, Chaewon would make the most selfless, thoughtful, and caring queen. Also beautiful, as Jinsol watched the halo around Jungeun’s figure with the setting sun in awe. Sunsets always did justice to Jungeun’s beauty._

_Along with sundowns, dusk, high noons, any time of day really._

_Of course Chaewon would be a queen. She didn’t have much of a choice. The last queens that denied their position for true love were labelled runaways and hereby dethroned._

_(It’s not like Jinsol wanted to talk to her parents anyway.)_

_Unlike Heejin and Hyunjin who were gleefully running away from an exhausted Haseul or a hungry Yerim that was clawing at Hyorin’s chest or a kicking whatever-their-name-would-be making Sooyoung scold Jiwoo’s stomach, Chaewon was born into what she would have to be for the rest of her life._

_Jinsol and Jungeun only hoped she would be so lucky to be surrounded with a family like theirs._

\---

Maybe this was a test.

Hyejoo had to give the council credit for their setup.

The Ha cottage was barren, completely devoid of life. Even her mother’s handcrafted bench was gone. Hyejoo requested to stop to greet her parents before giving a report to the queens but she wasn’t expecting her parents to not be there. The markets were on limited hours until the new year so they shouldn’t be at work.

Swords out and back-to-back, Hyunjin and Hyejoo scoped around the empty cottage looking for any signs of breaking and entering. But this sweep was clean like there was no struggle.

As much as she didn’t want to give credit for it, her non-carpenter mother was quite adept at B&Es.

(Don’t ask why. It was something Jiwoo always wanted to do.)

Hyunjin’s hyper-hearing heard Hyejoo’s breath quicken.

“See anything?”

“No,” Hyejoo dejectedly said.

Hyejoo thought the worst.

Her parents were gone. They must’ve hated her and regretted bringing her back to the Jung kingdom. Were her parents that livid that they just up and left? She knew she pushed their buttons but she didn’t think she took it too far.

Three knocks.

Seeing and feeling that Hyejoo was in distress, Hyunjin opened the door.

“Oh, I was just checking to make sure they didn’t forget anything. Welcome back you two!” Haseul greeted with Yeojin and Yerim waving behind her. Yerim accidentally whipped the reigns in excitement and the horses were off - a nervous Yeojin yelling for them to stop.

Before Hyunjin could ask about the Has’ whereabouts - Haseul seemed a little too happy to see an empty shack - a blonde blur rushed in to hug Hyunjin and then almost toppled over a confused Hyejoo who hit her head on the bunk bed frame.

(Karma for constantly threatening her mother with collapsing it.)

“YOU’RE BACK! YOU’RE BACK! YOU’RE BACK!”

“Welcome home you two. Chaewon, let her breathe.”

Home.

Maybe that’s what Hyejoo was going to call the castle now. 

“Yes, that I am,” Hyejoo uttered, never realizing how much she missed seeing Chaewon’s face until now. Did she always have such a calming effect on her?

Chaewon was too happy to formally share the news and a proper explanation. She would tell her all about it on their carriage ride back. She would also need help as she left the castle hastily. When news of the Jung horses crossing back over reached Yeojin’s hands, she requested a ride to the borders at one, with Haseul following along to check the status of the Has’ cottage.

(Hopefully her parents were still “busy” to hopefully not notice her absence. Hyejoo’s parents seemed quite “busy” as well when they found out they’d be taking their old room once again.)

Hyejoo’s new home.

Their home.

“You are,” Chaewon whispered, burying herself into the rookie knight, not caring that eyes were on them. Including the neighbors who wondered why a royal carriage was doing donuts on the street.

Hyejoo knew there were perks being a knight as Hyunjin listed off but being able to hug the princess like this wasn’t one that was on the pamphlets. She held Chaewon steady as she returned the embrace, feeling a warmth spread into her chest that was foreign but welcomed.

Hyejoo had given her parents and herself a home.

They were going back to the Jung castle.

Just like she promised Chaewon those years ago, she came back.

Hyejoo made the right choice after all.

  


**NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: NEXT NEW MOON**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q (ourtuneisohigh): Shout out to the recent vlives for giving us great content for the astrology part of this chapter. We're about to take a break from the main drama and veer into an arc over a pairing whose reunion conversation is long overdue. Figure it out yet by the build-up in this chapter? It's not out yet but 365 is about to be that song. For those taking exams, best of luck. For those working in retail and delivery services, even more luck to you. Happy holidays and a warm winter to all of you. [Twitter](https://twitter.com/0TlSH)
> 
> N (LazyNinja): All bless Goddess Vivi for giving us such great things with her birthday! Hope you enjoyed this chapter and we look forward to seeing you once more before the new year. Stay warm and healthy, please drink water and remember you are loved. [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_LazyNinja_) | [CC](https://curiouscat.me/_LazyNinja_)


	11. Curiosity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Format as follows:**
> 
> _Italics: Past_  
  
Straight (but really gay): Present  

> 
> ****  


_Yeojin poked her head around the corner._

_Heejin poked her head above her._

_Yerim above her._

_Chaewon above her._

_But she didn’t have a noticeable height difference and the four conspirators toppled over in the corridor leading to Jinsol’s office._

_Now that all four of them knew how to read, having exhausted their libraries’ contents, they were starving for content. Their latest book series they were collectively hunched over was on hiatus with no foreseeable installment. It would’ve been wise to comeback when other authors hadn’t put out new content while the interest was still hot yet but rumor lots of setbacks prevented a sooner release date._

_The next best thing?_

_Jinsol’s office._

_Chaewon had been inside a few times - usually to get a scolding for snooping around during council meetings - but knew it was chock-full of books and scrolls dating back to the beginning of the kingdoms. Stepping inside, she never fully appreciated its intricacies. (The others did, gasping at every detail in sight.) She was a sucker for lavish antique furniture and she inherited it from Jinsol._

_The monstrous maroon curtains covering the floor to ceiling windows, Heejin thankfully drawing one of them open letting light pour in so they could see inside._

_The fortified fish tanks aligning the sidewalls, housing one fish each. Blue bettas, if she remembered correctly. Jungeun remembered to feed them when Jinsol was on duty like she was now._

_The regal and now dusty couches that were once used for peekaboo games between her mother and her._

_The chaise Chaewon loved treating like a slide when she could pull herself up._

_The sliding ladder Chaewon loved treating like a trolley ride._

_The desk Chaewon loved treating like a personal stage._

_The globe Chaewon loved using to play catch with._

_Okay, maybe there was a reason why she couldn’t enter this space as much as she wanted._

_Jinsol was a great mother and queen and she was adamant in not making Chaewon or Jungeun doubt her love for them. They were allowed anytime she liked. Mi casa es su casa, Jinsol would say - the only Spanish she knew and even then she didn’t know it was Spanish - before riding off with Hyunjin._

_It was Chaewon’s home already but she appreciated the sentiment._

_Today’s mission: find more reading material._

_The rest of the girls were distracted by what Jinsol’s office possessed. Yeojin made faces at the lonely fish. Heejin checked out the view from the windows. Yerim traced the borders on Jinsol’s maps with her finger._

_Chaewon had the same enthusiasm, used to the same scenery that only changed with the seasons. She fingered through her mother’s belongings, wondering how many generations of knowledge were in her desk drawers alone._

_Tripping over an open drawer, the princess saw a stack of portfolios lying there. _

_Never seeing them before - she used to know this office inside and out - she took a peek._

_After all, mi portfolia es su portfolia._

_(Please excuse her, her mother doesn’t think Spanish is a real language.)_

\---

Jungeun hummed as she made her way through the first floor sleeping chambers.

Passing by Hyunjin and Yerim’s room - Hyunjin refused to sleep in the knight wing, a separate building from the rest of the castle, due to political (but really gender) differences - Jungeun saw an eager Yerim bouncing on an unmade bed as she asked Hyunjin if she got her anything nice.

To which Hyunjin argued that she was in the woods and couldn’t possibly find anything valuable.

Yerim pouted that even just a rock was fine.

Passing by Haseul and Yeojin’s room where Yeojin was teaching Haseul the newest dance craze which involved dipping one’s head into the crook of one’s elbow while holding another arm outstretched to the side.

Jungeun didn’t want to ask since Yeojin went through her jumping and popping combo phase.

Passing by Heejin and Vivi’s room where Heejin was packing, asking Vivi what the weather was like in other kingdoms - as if the world outside was that much different. Vivi winked over at Jungeun, thanking her for the opportunity she was giving the young cook to finally travel.

(We’ll get to that later.)

The castle staff could’ve easily filled out an individual rooms but loneliness was a time bomb - seeing the tragedy it did to Jungeun - so they favored rooming with who they found themselves close to.

Hyejoo was the odd one out as she straightened out her single occupancy room. She noticed the pink fluffy orb on her bed as a “moving in” present from everyone-knows-who. But Chaewon threw it out the window - making Yeojin fetch it later - when Hyejoo grimaced at it, promising a better gift.

(Hyejoo bit her tongue to keep her from saying Chaewon’s presence was the greatest present. She blamed her romantic parents.)

Per her parents’ request - Sooyoung begging on her knees - she would not be sharing a room with them.

Seeing the queen, the rookie knight bowed. Jungeun shook her head at the action. She may be a queen but she was her aunt in a way. And friendly relationships trumped social hierarchies.

“How was the mission?” Jungeun didn’t step into Hyejoo’s room even if it was her castle. She respected personal boundaries much like Jinsol did.

“Permission to speak frankly?”

“Of course Hyejoo,” Jungeun smiled.

Besides in the council’s presence, Hyunjin never asked that question in years. It was deja vu for Jungeun.

“It was boring actually. Hyunjin and I failed to find any hideouts,” Hyejoo hung her head. She hoped the queens weren’t regretting their decision, letting Hyunjin knight her so soon.

“I was surprised it was you who Hyunjin chose. Call it fate.”

“Call it nepotism,” Hyejoo bit back but shook her head, hoping the queen could take a joke.

She was unsure how to feel with Hyunjin making the decision to knight her. The experienced fighter must’ve seen some sort of potential. Or with the smile on Jungeun’s face - contrasting the fear towards aunt Jinsol from the last time they saw each other - maybe Hyunjin owed the queens a favor. Chaewon’s excited summary in the carriage ride up gave an insight on the queens’ about-face relationship. Yeojin was more than excited to ride her horse up while they caught up while Haseul drove the carriage.

(‘Can I wear your crest too?’

‘Uhhhh sure?’ But before Hyejoo could pluck off the badge, Hyunjin said it was forbidden to bestow a squire a crest without proper knighting.

Yeojin sulked on the way up but at least Yerim kept her company, saddling behind her, making Yeojin threaten the horse to get them to the castle safely - not because she cared for Yerim or anything like that - or she’d make Heejin cook it.)

Jungeun only laughed, happy that Hyejoo didn’t filter herself around her. She would rather someone be straightforward than hide secrets from someone they trusted.

(Pot calling the kettle black, Jungeun?)

“May I play around during my free time?”

“Of course, this is your home now!”

Hyejoo grinned, took her latest labyrinth puzzle box and flopped onto her bed, ready to spend hours on it. Chaewon said she’d give her time to unpack but with her minimal luggage, it took less than a day which gave her time to play. (She knew Chaewon would be next at her door to ask if she needed help so put her wolf speed to good use.)

According to Chaewon, Jinsol and Jungeun were spending every waking moment with each other. True to their word, Jinsol sprung behind Jungeun announcing her presence with a soft “I’m here” so as not to startle her wife. Hyejoo found the chivalry sweet.

“JINSOL, WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?” Jungeun screeched when Jinsol flung her over her shoulder.

They were barely apart for ten minutes but seeing her doting wife again - at least her backside as she was carried upside-down and folded over - made Jungeun giddy. Curious heads poked out of their sleeping chambers at their screams.

"I DREW YOU A BATH, MY LOVE!” Jinsol may have first degree burns.

“A BATH?!” Jungeun happily squealed down the hallway.

(A pleasant sound for all the castle residents.)

“JINSOL, I TOOK A BATH YESTERDAY!”

Hyejoo smiled. Romance was cute when it wasn’t her parents.

\---

_“What’ll you be having?”_

_“Ummmm….well...what do they usually serve here?”_

_Sooyoung cocked an eyebrow. They looked at the wall-mounted menu, picking out what to eat. They were on the higher terraces in the village where Jiwoo’s family sometimes had home deliveries too._

_They were one step down from Kim royalty._

_And thousands of steps higher than Jiwoo’s family._

_(And previously Sooyoung’s)_

_To look presentable, Jiwoo washed her clothes so hard. But the colors faded. Her newly purchased shoes were a bright contrast, selling her favorite knight trading cards for them - none of them Sooyoung’s of course. She still chose the farthest booth away from the rest of the brightly clothed and sequined patrons._

_Sooyoung thought she was squinting due to the distance from the menu. Maybe they could see Vivi after to check her vision._

_Woah, hang on Sooyoung, you’ve only known her for three months. You can’t introduce her to friends yet, it’s too soon._

_But Jiwoo barely spared a glance._

_“I….figured you could order for the both of us.”_

_Oh._

_Sooyoung kicked herself for thinking Jiwoo was testing her to see if she knew her favorite foods. _

_(She did, having calmly stalked her parents in the market the other day.)_

_Sooyoung had learned how to read during her knight training seminars, squinting under the stars to match each letter to her pronunciation cheat sheet before the written exam. Before, she’d ask her cohort friends to order for her._

_Like Jiwoo, they came from the same elementary education._

_And she would never look down on Jiwoo or anyone due to something like literacy. She still used her fingers to add numbers which when she found out Jungeun did the same, made her feel less plebeian._

_“You like chicken, right?” Sooyoung reached out for Jiwoo’s hand, stopping her nervous ticks._

_And probably stop her own tremors as well._

_Jiwoo looked absolutely beautiful today. She wasn’t sure how she was going to make it through this meal. Sooyoung never spent so much time with someone doing absolutely nothing. All of her moves were calculated but with Jiwoo, her plans were out the window. They took the scenic route, one she wasn’t familiar with, Jiwoo turning wherever she pleased, and talked about everything and anything._

_(“Hey that pig looks like you.” Sooyoung slapped a hand over her mouth in case Jiwoo couldn’t take a joke._

_Were they on terms for light teasing? Last time, she got flipped on her back when she spoke out of line._

_“Nah looks more like you though,” Jiwoo hit her shoulder. Hard._

_Sooyoung swallowed her grunt and saw the devilish smirk on Jiwoo’s face._

_Sooyoung counted the pigs rolling in the mud, loving every small grunt Jiwoo emitted. “So many Jiwoos. One, two, three, four…”_

_“No, no, no, no,” Jiwoo faux-complained, her face growing red at the crowd forming around them._

_“Eight pigs,” Sooyoung pointed at the red-faced farmer last._

_“Nope. Nine pigs,” Jiwoo framed Sooyoung’s face, accidentally slicing her neck. She cupped her face later to apologize sweetly, being the closest the two have ever been to each other.)_

_Sooyoung downed her cup of water to calm her cheeks right when they sat down. _

_Jiwoo looked up at Sooyoung being patient and kind. The knight would figure out soon that she wasn’t as proficient as some of the elite she mingled with. But she also felt like Sooyoung didn’t care._

_Sooyoung ordered for the both of them, not a judgmental bone in her body, Jiwoo wondered if there was a new kind of literacy. One that wasn’t taught in school or validated with a piece of paper costing thousands of schillings._

_She wondered if it was possible to read a person._

_Because she wanted to know all about the woman in front of her._

_And with the way Sooyoung was trying to make her feel comfortable - even offering to carry her up the last three terraces - she knew Sooyoung found something to read in her too._

\---

“Excuse me…” 

Hyunjin blanked on her name. She was used to addressing her as the former Kim kingdom seneschal. Or Jinsol’s best friend. Or Hyejoo’s ex-knighted mother.

What was her name again?

“Aunt Sooyoung,” the woman filled in with amusement on her face. Having always seen Hyunjin unperturbed, a flustered seneschal was new.

Sooyoung wondered if this was how Jiwoo felt when she was flustered ten seconds into their first meeting after Jungeun’s rescue.

Hyunjin nodded, thankful for the correction. She didn’t want it to look like they were co-workers. She had been informed that Sooyoung and Jiwoo were officially handmaidens in the castle but with the winter solstice days away and school not in session, only indoor chores would be done and the current staff finished their jobs before lunch.

What chores would they even be doing?

“Right, my apologies.”

“It’s quite alright. May I help you with something?”

Hyunjin wasn’t sure what she’d attain in talking to the retiree but it couldn’t hurt.

“I was wondering if you could tell Yerim stories about our parents.”

Even if she got ahold of knight files - which were stowed in a secret area only the head knights knew of - they would only hold facts and statistics. Jinsol knew her father and mother plenty but Sooyoung fought alongside Taeyang and Hyorin during their prime.

From the many times Hyunjin had witnessed Jinsol crying herself to sleep to hacking away at wolves to staring fondly at the stars, wondering if Jungeun and Chaewon were looking at them too, there was a vulnerability knights witnessed that went beyond a working relationship.

“Sure, I’d be happy to!” Sooyoung agreed. She was crafting her lecture for Hyejoo for moving up the ranks early. But she could save that for after dinner.

Hyunjin was curious if her mother told Sooyoung of their family history and identity. She couldn’t ask him anymore so Sooyoung was the next best bet. (Jinsol seemed much happier and she didn’t want to ruin that with a question that could trigger her. Also, the queen had been MIA. So has the other queen.)

Also, Hyunjin promised Yerim something valuable and what was more valuable than family stories?

If her father trusted Sooyoung, maybe Hyunjin could trust Hyejoo with her own identity and in turn Hyejoo could one day trust her with hers.

\---

_“Your card is shinier than mine.”_

_“I’m a higher rank than you,” Taeyang answered._

_Sooyoung scratched her head, looking at how this one was notably shinier than the rest._

_The knight council employed Dalcom into coming up with a way to keep the idol image of knighthood alive. It was a collectors’ game the people in the kingdoms played. They’d collect cards of their favorite knights, a new theme was released every year._

_This was the first time Sooyoung was fully seeing the collection, as one eager fan gave them a whole portfolio to autograph. It was filled since the first generation of knights when they started creating collectables. Sooyoung signed away on her cards and Taeyang did the same to his._

_She recalled a time she came across Jiwoo’s personal stack._

_(As their relationship progressed, the stack grew smaller and smaller so Jiwoo could lavish herself with new clothes and gifts to impress her real life knight. But Sooyoung didn’t need to be impressed, she was already hers._

_She swore she could hear her future child throwing up in the distance.)_

_But Jiwoo had a limited amount of funds and favorited a few knights - in the business, only a handful were actually idol-worthy - replenishing her decks when the Kim gratuity came in for rescuing Jungeun. (Unsurprisingly, her favorite card to collect was Sooyoung’s.)_

_C-B-A-S-?_

_That was the ranking system, corresponding to their actual ranks. C being the cheapest, S being the most expensive. S, Sooyoung knew, stood for “seneschal.” Looking over at Taeyang’s, maybe it was an H for Head Knight or I for Imperial. There were even limited edition themes released mid-year which one could only buy during that time frame._

_It confused Sooyoung but she had no control over her image._

_Townspeople believed whatever they wanted to believe._

_Careful not to smudge her signature, she read her stats on the back._

_Full bar for speed._

_Half bar for agility._

_No bar next to her amount of wolf kills._

_It’s not like she needed to fill out those stats anyway. After the last few decades the werewolf population was dwindling and with natural selection, they’d hopefully be extinct soon. _

_The two knights handed back the signed cards to the giddy teenager and mounted their horses._

_“Do you think Jiwoo has them?”_

_“What, the plague? Vivi gave us our annual needle for it.”_

_“No. Your cards. Also, I heard those needles made one looney.”_

_“You didn’t give Hyunjin the needle?” Sooyoung knew she’d be a better parent than that._

_Just because one healer said the needle caused differences on a child's thinking, now everyone was going around believing some cockamamie conspiracy._

_“THE DOCTOR WAS LYING! And yes, I’d like to believe Jiwoo still has my cards.”_

_Later that night at - ignoring Jinsol and Jungeun trying to share one spaghetti noodle across the table - she found out her wife kept the cards. They were even concealed in see-through sleeves to keep them crisp and dry._

_Taeyang wasn’t as lucky._

_Funnily enough, Hyorin had more cards of her own self than she did of her husband._

\---

“Wait, wait, wait, Mom had no cards of Dad!” Yerim hugged one of the pillows close to her.

To keep the firewood counts stable, the castle tried to spend more time in one room. Chaewon’s room was the chosen room for this afternoon’s storytelling. Haseul and Vivi could’ve easily squeezed in another lesson -itching to don their teacher personas since someone (Yeojin) was misbehaving recently - but Sooyoung was like a guest teacher.

Even if her stories weren’t educational.

The younger girls had gathered on the bed. All but Hyunjin, who chose to sit at Chaewon’s bay window seat which was basically the size of another bed. Chaewon, Hyejoo, and Heejin sat against the headboard, with Hyejoo in the middle as she was “surprisingly warmer.” Hyejoo was glad they had to push all the pink monstrosities off the bed to make room for them. Yeojin laid on her stomach, her feet mischievously targeting the other girls’ faces. Yerim was practically falling off the foot of the bed as she hung onto every word Sooyoung said.

(Hyunjin was doing the same, hungry for any memory of her parents’, even if it wasn’t hers.)

Sooyoung had taken Chaewon’s desk chair while Haseul and Vivi took the bench by the wardrobe.

Unsurprisingly, the queens were missing, having gone missing since their hour long bath. (Now Hyunjin knew why they were MIA.)

The Jung queens were MIA.

Chaewon pretended to hide her eye roll at her parents acting lovey-dovey all day. They were probably feeding each other in the kitchen or having a stroll in the garden or cloud watching on the balcony. Maybe Haseul and Vivi needed to reteach her manners. She’d be scorned if she acted that way when she assumed the throne.

Which wasn’t soon.

Because she was still happily single.

Happy like the handmaiden who felt a storybook open before her very eyes.

\---

_“So you’re Princess Jinsol’s guard?”_

_“Yup. And you’re Princess Jungeun’s?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Cool.”_

_“Yup.”_

_Taeyang and Sooyoung stood on either side of the ornate doors as the princesses met for the first time._

_Sooyoung knew Jungeun didn’t want to be there. She hated the tradition of arranged marriages, seeing how it broke her Aunt Taeyeon’s heart, having her love taken away due to the barbaric coming-of-age ceremony. Taeyeon took a shameful oath of celibacy and her sister Hyelim assumed the throne._

_(Sooyoung had to stop Jungeun from running away twice on their ride there, asking the carriage to “pull over” to stretch her legs. Luckily, Jungeun wasn’t very fast. Sooyoung had placed third in the Knight Olympic races so caught up to her easily. For the second catch, they barrel-rolled together down a hill._

_Sooyoung thought Jungeun would want to fix her appearance before meeting her betrothed._

_She didn’t.)_

_Trade relations._

_Being on either side of the sea meant the Jungs and Kims could finally tie together the East and More East - they already designated west to everything beyond the sea - trade lines. It would’ve been Jessica - Jinsol’s mother who had been staring Jungeun up-and-down since she stepped foot out of her carriage - and Taeyeon’s marriage that helped sanctify the agreements. In fact, the two princesses hit off well decades ago._

_Unlike the current Jung and Kim right now._

_Jessica’s wanted to pursue her fashion and novel writing. Taeyeon did the same in singing and lyric writing. They said they would wait for each other._

_But the council wasn’t as patient and rushed Krystal’s marriage to the Liu kingdom which was just north of the Kim kingdom, making the Jung and Kim contract obsolete until the next generation._

_Which Jungeun and Jinsol found themselves resolving._

_Hearing a strange scratchy voice coming from the inside of the doors, Sooyoung shot a confused look at Knight Taeyang. Was it wise for the princesses to meet when one of them had a sore throat?_

_“Do not worry. It’s her Doraemon impression.”_

_“Ah,” Sooyoung said, not any less confused._

_But from the lack of laughter from inside the closed-off courtroom, Sooyoung could tell the princess was not impressed._

\---

Hyunjin bowed her head, knowing what it was like for a knight to lose face. It was a tale among the knight community to not “pull a Jungeun,” which meant going off the railings and running away in the face of danger. Luckily, no knights in their castle ever said the phrase, at least not in the company of the Jung castle residents.

Head Knight Minho wouldn’t let them.

Neither would Hyunjin.

“You don’t blame yourself, do you Sooyoungie?”

Jiwoo caught the end of Sooyoung’s first meeting with Taeyang, asking for permission to happy enter the warm room. The fireplace was blazing strong but even then the room was abnormally hot. (Chaewon granted permission to the lovely addition to the castle. Anything for Hyejoo’s parents.) 

“I try not to,” Sooyoung smiled sheepishly, opening her arms for Jiwoo to sit on her lap.

There was plenty of room next to...pretty much everyone as Chaewon’s room had more than enough sitting areas. But they were a close family.

Family.

Vivi smiled at the family she looked around her. Jiwoo, Sooyoung, and Hyejoo completed the picture and even if they were missing two members - who everyone, even the children, knew what they were occupying their time with - it felt whole.

She removed herself from Haseul’s shoulder, ignoring Haseul’s pout right after. It was getting quite toasty and it would be rude to sweat all over any of her coworkers.

Correction.

Family members.

\---

_“Doctor, you’ve got to do something!”_

_“Haseul, how many times do I have to tell you, you can call me Vivi?”_

_“Doctor Vivi, you’ve got to do something!”_

_Haseul held a baby Yerim in front of Vivi’s room. _

_Vivi cocked her head to the side. The child in no way looked diseased, sickly, or traumatized. In fact, Yerim was babbling merrily, pulling on Haseul’s long locks like giddying up a horse._

_Did the Jung kingdom have some invisible diseases she was not aware of? She stayed diligent with her readings. No one would be surprised if she mothered a bookworm in the future. And with her skills, it could be possible. The council (reluctantly) allowed for same sex marriages among royals to other high ranking officals, hoping it would lessen the scandalous affairs among them._

_(Conclusion: It did not not.)_

_That’s where Vivi’s kind came in useful. Healers, witches, physicians, whatever one called them, were asked to help make sure the royal heirs could still bear healthy children, no matter the gender of their partner. For two biological females, it was quite easy but for two males, they usually had to consult a surrogate. Yet as the generations passed it was always better to have a well trained healer present to assure the safety of the royals._

_Unfortunately, for the council, royals in same sex relationships only beared children of their same sex, most of the heirs being female this current generation had unknowingly set the precedent for future same sex couples down the line. The amount of princesses compared to princes right now was unprecedented._

_The first few generations of royal lines proved successful._

_Even now Jinsol and Jungeun were beacons of good health and prosperity._

_Vivi would’ve gone home when the work was done but Queen Hyelim kept her around. She had grown fond of the young foreign physician. Vivi treated Jungeun like a sister more than a patient and they didn’t want their child to be lonely._

_Enter Sooyoung years later and Jungeun would have a total of two friends._

_“What’s wrong with her? Why is her temperature so high?”_

_Yerim giggled. Haseul shook in fear._

_Taeyang and Hyorin had accompanied the queens, Hyunjin, and Heejin to the magic show in town. Sooyoung and Jiwoo thought they could have a break as their daughter was practically nocturnal but with Chaewon teething on Sooyoung’s bow and arrow, they had their hands full as well._

_That left Yerim with Haseul._

_It was almost winter. (More importantly in Haseul’s head, it was almost Vivi’s birthday.) Shouldn’t the child be a little cold?_

_Vivi checked Yerim’s vitals and even pretended to give her the needle - prepping her for annual shots later, thankfully the Jungs also stayed up-to-date on their readings of healthy parenting - and Yerim didn’t stop smiling throughout._

_Haseul knew Hyunjin ran warm but that was because the kid couldn’t keep still. She climbed bannisters, tables, shelves, even finding footholds in the side of the walls to climb onto the balcony. Her favorite game, the floor cracks are lava, had everyone in a frenzy. But Yerim rolled around in circles wherever she was placed down. That couldn’t be enough cardio to break a sweat._

_Vivi, who promised to co-babysit with Haseul after updating Yerim’s charts, wasn’t as conflicted._

_Now she could prove her hypothesis right._

\---

“Hyejoo, are you sure you didn’t catch anything out there? You’re burning up!”

Heejin had to lean away from Hyejoo while they listened to Sooyoung’s story of wrestling the late Hyorin too hard, she broke a wall.

“And your heart is racing!” Chaewon joined in.

Hyejoo was like her own personal furnace.

“Why are you listening to her heartbeat?” Yeojin butted in.

Yeojin was like her own personal pest.

Luckily she didn’t have to kick Yeojin off the bed as Yerim, closing her eyes and envisioning Sooyoung and Hyorin’s melee, tossed the squire off the bed for her.

Chaewon was lucky to have her parents alive and breathing. She couldn’t fathom what it must feel like listening to these stories. Whereas Yerim was trying to relive their lives, absorbing every syllable Sooyoung uttered, Hyunjin was dissociating in the corner, using the window as her emotional support system. She looked as if she didn’t want to be there. She was putting on a good front for her sister.

Chaewon hoped that when she assumed throne, she would be as selfless.

But her parents were in power so there was no need to worry.

“We were wondering where everyone was.”

We.

Chaewon missed when her moms referred to each other as a “we.” Even with Jinsol back for barely two full weeks, it felt normal. Like that’s how it should always be.

“May we?” Jinsol gestured into the room.

Chaewon and everyone else threw her an irritated look. There was no reason they shouldn’t partake in the storytelling.

The two queens waddled in, taking up the armchair closest to the doorway so as not to draw attention. They closed the door to keep the heat entrapped, envious how Chaewon’s room was able to retain heat so well. Heejin didn’t have the covers on her. Yeojin was making her own Kirby castle on the would-be chilled floor. Haseul and Vivi weren’t in their usual cuddling positions. Sooyoung and Jiwoo sat on top of each other no matter what the temperature. Even the window around Hyunjin wasn’t as frosted up as the rest of the house.

“It’s so warm in here, Chaewon. Aren’t you warm? Why isn’t our room as warm, Jinsol?” Jungeun asked, hoping her good mood would never end.

The only ones out of place were Chaewon and Hyejoo who were huddled underneath Chaewon’s duvet.

A blushing Chaewon shook her head and snuggled further into Hyejoo.

(Sooyoung and Jiwoo shared a worried look.)

\---

_Yerim didn’t need an overcoat going to the stables._

_She knew this was an opportune moment as the castle dwellers wouldn’t dare leave in this freezing weather. She retained heat well, something her family was known for._

_Creaking the door open, she headed to the last stalls where they placed most retired horses._

_Or horses without owners._

_Which is what her mother’s horse was now._

_Her father’s horse sadly perished in the attack but luckily one living remembrance of her parents lived on. At least so she thought. Due to budget cuts, food was scarce. The weak horses would be the next to go._

_She overheard the newly instated cook Heejin asking Vivi on dishes to make with horse meat._

_Good Boy would be dead tomorrow._

_(Excuse her father, he got naming privileges.)_

_Placing her lamp on the bales, she combed Good Boy’s hair back for what could be the last time, She was grateful it was only her that was suffering. Hyunjin must have been having a blast in training camp. She was eager to go, probably too excited to say goodbye to everyone in the castle. She forgot Heejin’s goodbye hug but Yerim was sure she’d rectify the situation upon her return._

_Much like how she wished to fix this one. She wish she could tell the Good Boy to run, to save itself, to not spare their life. But how does one communicate with animals?_

_“I’m sorry the world is a terrible place. I wish you had more rights.” Yerim ruffled the spot at the top of its head. She didn’t know why but she knew it was its favorite spot to be petted._

_The horse motioned rubbed its nose on the gate hinges._

_“You want out?” Yerim quirked her head to the side._

_The horse nodded back, trilling its lips towards the barn’s exit._

_“Do you… understand me?”_

\---

“Mom, can you win any duel?” Hyejoo interrupting Sooyoung’s tale of her trials in the knight olympics.

“Listen here you little--”

“OKAY, next story darling!”

Sooyoung and Hyejoo had a childish staredown, entertaining everyone. The love was there regardless, Hyejoo practically jumped on her mothers on her return home hours ago. If Chaewon wasn’t so engrossed, she would’ve noticed her mother throwing a longingly look her way.

Jinsol watched the staredown with guilt. When was the last time Chaewon and her joked around like that?

“Hah! You blinked Mom!” Hyejoo laughed, warming Chaewon up even more.

“I didn’t know it was a contest,” Sooyoung sulked. Jiwoo cuddled closer in support.

It surely hasn’t been years, right?

Jungeun bumped her head against Jinsol’s, silently asking her if she was alright.

No, it couldn’t have been years.

Jinsol brought Jungeun’s hand up to her lips to reassure her. They could talk about it later. The lovers had all the time in the world. Jinsol wouldn’t be shipped out until the start of the new year. She made sure of it.

If Jungeun and her were able to communicate like this without uttering a word, then it wasn’t true that it had been that long since Chaewon and her bonded. But then again, Chaewon looked at Hyejoo with an expression she hadn’t seen before.

Her eyes forming little crescents, her smile up to her ears.

Or maybe she has made this face but Jinsol had forgotten.

Just how out of touch was she was with another member of her family?

\---

_Head Knight Taeyang was out of touch with how hormones worked during pregnancy._

_Jungeun’s pregnancy wasn’t theatrical, Jinsol the one suffering sympathy pains._

_(Vivi said it was all psychological but Sooyoung called it a sham as Jinsol threw up in her helmet more than once when Jungeun should have been nauseated.)_

_Hyorin was a constantly running a tragedy play with no intermission. She caught a whiff of perfume - blame Sooyoung for borrowing his helmet while disinfecting hers - and was throwing all of Taeyang’s garments out the window for being a spineless cheater. It was a blessing they lived on the first floor._

_Sooyoung wondered what Jiwoo would be like if she was with child as she made her way to her room. To her non-pregnancy hormone infested wife._

_It was impossible, Sooyoung thought glumly. Jiwoo and her didn’t have the “parts” for the job._

_If they were of royal blood, it was feasible._

_If only she befriended a witch._

_Wait._

_She sprinted from her post to knock on someone’s sleeping chambers._

_“Sooyoung, how may I help you?”_

_Sooyoung sighed. She felt like she didn’t even need to tell Vivi. She was strangely intuitive. She knew when she was hungry, sick, depressed, missing Jiwoo._

_But Vivi stood her ground, motioning for the knight to answer._

_“Vivi, it has come to my attention that you lent a hand in Jungeun’s pregnancy,”_

_Vivi nodded. If she stopped Sooyoung mid-tirade, Sooyoung would go off on another tangent. Jinsol and her were similar that way, taking forever to finish one conversation. People called her being able to sense this her witch powers. The physician called it common courtesy._

_“Well, it’s just, I know you said you were related to witches. Sorry, that’s a slur. To healers. Well, a descendent of, if I’m correct.”_

_Vivi nodded again._

_“And I know I’m not of royal blood or even of knight blood but it’s just, I don’t know how far down the line you are and well, it’s just, Jiwoo and I have wanted a child, you know, of our own. NOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG WITH ADOPTION!”_

_Vivi took Sooyoung into her room, ignoring Jinsol’s hysterical crying down the corridor and her pregnant wife consoling her._

_Taking a seat on her bed, Sooyoung looked around a fairly normal room. With a fairly normal wardrobe and fairly normal books and scrolls on her shelves. She never stepped foot in Vivi’s room when they lived in the Kim castle. She was expecting that since Vivi was of a different species, she would have trinkets she couldn’t name and possible a pointy black hat._

_She kicked herself in the mouth for thinking otherwise._

_There was a time when people used to dress up as wit...healers. (The W-word was offensive.) Once they performed the great feat on the royals to help them bear children, the stereotypes vanished and they became revered. (For most.) _

_“You know, being a descendent is all that is. The powers you believe I have aren’t as strong as my predecessors. What we performed on Jungeun exhausted all what was in me. If you recall, the Jung castle healer died casting on Queen Jessica.”_

_Sooyoung swallowed hard._

_Vivi was lucky to have gone to a prestigious school, helping rid of the stigma for her. Others weren’t so lucky. From what she knew, for the healers that couldn’t find a permanent home, they had built a community of their own in the mountains._

_“And that’s the same as any descendant of any species. As future generations are born, unless their powers and talents are skilled, they start assimilating.”_

_“Are you saying sirens and werewolves live among us?” Sooyoung chided. Vivi speaking in her serious tone with eyes unblinking was starting to freak her out._

_Vivi merely shrugged and leafed through her collection of...stuff._

_Sooyoung watched in awe as Vivi worked, hopefully getting Jiwoo and her one step closer to their dream family. No other species integrated so well. It was demeaning to use them like this but it kept Vivi on staff._

_Vivi was lucky indeed._

\---

Sooyoung had gone off on a tangent about Jiwoo - the story started off as Taeyang and his woes around Hyorin’s pregnancy. Once Hyejoo was born, it was only a couple of years later when Sooyoung was transferred as a seneschal to the Kim castle with a higher chance of promotion since Taeyang was still young and would hold that position for years to come.

(Those years were cut short.)

For Hyunjin and Yerim, that meant that the epilogue of Sooyoung’s story was approaching. Sensing the shift in energy - not witch intuition, only observational deduction - Vivi changed topics.

“That’s why they call you the miracle baby, Hyejoo.”

All eyes were on the rookie.

“Medical terms aside, she really is our miracle,” Jiwoo praised, a sentiment shared as Sooyoung squeezed her tighter and gave Hyejoo a warm smile.

“Hear, hear!” Yeojin praised, holding a Kirby in the air.

(Hyejoo glared at it. She didn’t know how Chaewon could sleep with those things in her room. Her own gifted pink monstrosity was tucked away in her trunk.)

“And the cutest miracle baby at that!” Jiwoo added. Once she got the compliments going, she never stopped. 

(Her wedding vow was twenty-seven minutes.)

“But I have the cutest person in the whole world next to me,” Sooyoung added, winking at Hyejoo not to take it personally.

“AHHHHHHH!” Jiwoo screamed, hugging her wife tightly to hide her blushing face.

The love was shared in the room. Without Hyejoo’s doing, this entire day wouldn’t have happened. Authentic storytelling from a heroine like Sooyoung wasn’t always on the agenda.

It was a miracle for them to gather like this.

Jungeun hoped there’d be more days like this.

Jinsol would ensure days like this would always come.

Chaewon was nothing short of amazing but Jinsol would have gone on this excursion with Hyunjin if it wasn’t for Hyejoo’s speedy pledge. She owed Hyejoo her marriage and hopefully a solid relationship with her daughter once they spent more time together.

Jungeun thought the same.

To the queens, Hyejoo was a miracle too.

\---

_Not much was said while Sooyoung escorted Jiwoo to her home._

_Not much was needed to._

_They enjoyed a pleasant meal together, along with a tableside serenade that Sooyoung hired. But Jiwoo had outdone her own gift by joining in with the harmonies and outshining the court musician._

_(Sooyoung preferred Jiwoo’s voice anyway.)_

_Sooyoung could feel the heavy air where Jiwoo still left her literacy in question but Sooyoung wasn’t sure if it was noble to bring that up._

_Situations like this wasn’t in the handbook._

_“Thanks for dinner, Knight Sooyoung.”_

_“Just Sooyoung.”_

_They were outside Jiwoo’s cozy shack. Sounds of her father practicing his finger-forehead flicking were heard inside. Sooyoung should bring it up now because if not then it would seem like she was ignoring a part of Jiwoo. Not that it mattered. Being able to read wasn’t a prerequisite of being in love._

_Not love, but like. Infatuation. Not love yet. Right?_

_Before Jiwoo could question why Sooyoung was muttering to herself - something she’s been doing since dinner - the door sprang open._

_“Thank you so much for bringing her back home, Knight Sooyoung. Oh Jiwooie, your Dalcom cards have arrived,” Luna said with a bright smile, privacy be damned._

_Now it was Jiwoo’s turn to mutter to herself. Before she could tell her mother off, Sooyoung turned to her with a grin._

_“You collect knight cards?”_

_Maybe Jiwoo did like her._

_That is, only if she had her cards too._

_“Jungeun sends me them since she has no need for them and the castle gets them as monthly gifts,” Jiwoo admitted. “The portraits are lovely. Yours especially. It’s not like I could rea…”_

_Luna would’ve stayed for the show but her husband groaning for bending his finger too far back made her scurry back into the house. Jiwoo was bolder than any child in the village but sometimes she needed a push. And from what she observed about Sooyoung - nothing witchy about it, just mother’s intuition - the poor knight was too nervous to make the first move._

_She thought the poor girl was going through a heat stroke with how red she was asking them what Jiwoo’s favorite foods were._

_“That’s okay,” Sooyoung never broke eye contact with Jiwoo, wanting her to know it made no difference._

_Also, she didn’t miss Jiwoo knowing what at least one of her cards looked like._

_And maybe she was itching to spend more time with the girl._

_“How about you show me your card collection,” Sooyoung swaggered, motioning to the inside of Jiwoo’s house._

_Jiwoo was quick on the move._

_She wanted more time with the girl too._

_“I’ll show you only if you teach me how to read them.”_

_Sooyoung went back to the castle late that night but as Jungeun had strangely developed a fear of the outside world so she didn’t worry of the princess running away any time soon._

\---

The Jung-Ha-Wong-Bang-Dong-Jeon family were stuffed with the dinner they were given.

With Sooyoung’s help in the kitchen, Heejin was able to cook an amazing meal. Everyone sang her praises, even Jinsol who wasn’t shy in taking thirds.

(Whereas Hyejoo and Hyunjin were on their fourths.)

The current Jung seneschal was warming up to the former one, feeling like she had gotten closer to her birth parents since the afternoon in Chaewon’s room. Her ulterior motives of figuring out if Sooyoung knew of their family background were thwarted.

There’d be another day.

Sooyoung was now a permanent resident of the castle.

Jiwoo felt right at home, flinging open all the windows at her discretion even though everyone was freezing. Apparently, she did that a lot.

Hyejoo knew where the bathroom, kitchen, training room, reading room, Chaewon’s room, and her room was and that was good enough for her.

As dinner wound down, Heejin gathered the dishes per usual but Sooyoung was quick to step in and do it for her, balancing the plates easily - with only a little taunting from Hyejoo who kept faking out that her mother would drop them. Chaewon joined in on the act as well.

Hyunjin was impressed at Sooyoung.

Knight chivalry never faded even after one retired.

But all of that was erased when she picked up what Heejin and Sooyoung were discussing in the kitchen.

“You must be tired from this afternoon.”

A clatter of plates dropped into the water basin.

“All I did was open my mouth and tell stories. I have all the energy in the world.”

A washcloth being wrung with water.

“But it’s my job!” Heejin whined.

(Hyunjin fought a smile.)

“It _was_ your job. You forgot that I’ll be taking over.”

\---

_Heejin and Yeojin were thumbing through different versions of a knight’s handbook - Heejin’s happened to be in Japanese, the current language she was studying. Yerim found a novel written by someone Vivi or Haseul never mentioned._

_“Chae, isn’t your grandmother’s name Jessica?”_

_“My grandmothers' names are Hyelim and Yubin.”_

_“No, on Queen Jinsol’s side.”_

_Chaewon shrugged, flipping through a portfolio. The queens were tidy so Yerim didn’t know where that portfolio could’ve been from. It looked different from the other reading materials in the room, a dull black with bits of paper sticking everywhere. _

_Looking at the book in her hand, its spine barely creased, she flipped to the first page._

_Scrawled underneath the title:_

_“To my dearest daughter, please find it in your heart to forgive me.”_

_This had to be one of Jinsol’s mothers, as the parchment looked like a new material that this generation used. Yerim didn’t know one of Chaewon’s grandmothers wrote a novel but then again how could she? Jinsol barely talked about them._

_Not wanting to start an uproar in this private den they weren’t supposed to be in, Yerim climbed the ladder to place the book back. But before she could wedge the book in place, a bat poked its head out from the rafters._

_Luckily it was Yerim that caught its first appearance, hoping the bat would make eye contact with her so she could tell it to leave before any of the girls noticed._

_“Don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you,” Yerim whispered, keeping her stance open so the bat wasn’t threatened._

_Heejin and Yeojin shook their head. Yerim was talking to books now. They were used to this and never demeaned Yerim’s quirk of communicating with non-human entities._

_(Vivi’s lesson in ableism was enough to send them running to the hills. The village was starting to label their beloved queen Jungeun as “crazy” due to her aversion to the outside world and Vivi wasn’t having it.)_

_While Hyunjin trained her skills on the battlefield, Yerim had figured out how to use hers as well using the animal residents as practice partners.._

_(At least Yerim never hurt any animals in her training.)_

_The bat, feeling welcomed by Yerim, decided to swoop around the room._

_Wrong choice._

_Yeojin screamed and wondered if it was safe to dive into one of the aquariums. Bats were hydrophobic, right?_

_Heejin ducked for cover underneath one of the couches._

_Chaewon was far too engrossed in what she was reading to notice the chaos around her._

_It wasn’t a book or a scroll._

_It wasn’t a petition or a map._

_It was a long list of words that she couldn’t pronounce or even spell with her eyes closed._

_Those couldn’t be wolf names. No one would ever get the name of someone or something before killing it._

_It would make the task too hard._

_Those couldn’t be strategies either. Chaewon was sure stab, strangle, and behead were the only strategies knights needed to know._

_If she asked anyone, the question might fall in the wrong ears and taint the heroic image her mother built for herself. That is, if the list was confidential for a reason._

_Heejin yelling at Yeojin not to climb in with the betta fish and Yerim coaxing a bat to leave out of the open window snapped Chaewon back to reality. The princess helped Yerim close the window, fixing the curtain so it looked like the room was untouched._

_And placing the folder back where it came from with a slight slant to it._

_Just how her mother left it._

\---

“And I was like ‘what’s happening,’” Yerim said in her best accent.

She was giving a play-by-play of her day to her favorite species of animals.

All of them were her favorite. But she included that adjective anyway.

The horses listened intently to her stories. And she listened - not just observed, that was a human move - to their reactions. The flurried swishes of their tales meant they were happy for her.

Getting an insight to her parents’ world, spending the day with her favorite people and people who were going to be her favorite people - especially Hyejoo, she was hilarious - her day was spectacular.

Nothing could bring her down.

“Yerim, you in here?” The stable door slammed open and slammed shut as quickly.

Hyunjin would’ve scolded Yerim for being transparent with her animal telepathy. If she had the skill instead, would it be Yerim out there fighting crime and ruining her only non-familial relationship she ever had?

Heejin.

That’s why Hyunjin couldn’t properly scold Yerim. She never wanted Yerim in her place.

Jeon Heejin was to be transferred before the start of the new year.

The Ha family’s relocation meant they didn’t need so many staff members and while Jinsol and Jungeun asked every worker if they would like a chance to live outside the walls, it was Heejin and only Heejin that jumped at that opportunity. 

Something about her talking with Vivi that made her see a new light.

They would’ve broken the news to her sooner but their swift return and Sooyoung’s trip down memory lane distracted them.

“The head chef said she’s always wanted to travel so I don’t see what you’re so livid about,” Yerim retorted, hearing Hyunjin’s breaths grow shallow and her heart race and filling in the blanks herself.

Their conversations never needed easing in due to their connection.

Only Hyunjin could bring out this side of her. With her sister’s behavior so far - albeit the nice storytelling present she received - Hyunjin deserved a calling out from the one person who knew her best.

Hyunjin took a look at her sister who crossed her arms and awaited a response. The horses behind her jeering back at the younger sister’s intensity.

“Maybe you actually do care,” Yerim jeered.

“Yerim, don’t. It was just news to me. That’s all.”

“So why did you come all the way over here if it was just news? I can hear your heart, you know.”

Hyunjin stormed off and Yerim could hear her heart racing up until she entered the estate. At least she didn’t run off to another mission.

Yerim huffed and rolled her eyes. There her sister goes again, putting her walls up and drawing up bridge to stop anything from making it past the moat to her heart.

Hyunjin shut herself out long enough to make the only other person she was close to believe she has moved on. Yerim should be happy with Heejin’s new chapter in life. But what about her stubborn sister?

Hyunjin was rereading the chapters she missed, the ones she deliberately didn’t want to be a character of. But that was her choice. The older Dong sibling had moved on to another story in her life.

Right?

Yerim agreed as the horses shook their heads no.

  


**NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: NEXT FULL MOON**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q (ourtuneisohigh): This was one of my favorite arcs to write because Yerim's storyline we created was just too cute. Thanks for all the love and support you've given this story. And for all the support you've given our Billboard/Itunes chart topping girls. See you next year on the full moon where I hope to find new Loona music as well. Happy holidays everyone and a Happy New Year! [Twitter](https://twitter.com/0TlSH)
> 
> N (LazyNinja): Thank you all once again for giving this story a read. We are very thankful for all the kudos/upvotes and comments you leave us. As it grows colder and the days both drag on and flash by, please remember to take care of yourself. You are important and cared about. Please try to stay healthy this winter, see you next chapter. Also feel free to send us any story questions on our CC’s or Twitters. (Story art up there too) [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_LazyNinja_) | [CC](https://curiouscat.me/_LazyNinja_)


	12. Around You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Format as follows:**
> 
> _Italics: Past_  
  
Straight (but really gay): Present  

> 
> ****  


_“Everything all right love?” _

_They were discussing what jobs to give Jiwoo and Sooyoung upon their return. It’d be a stressful commute in the winter months to their jobs in the village so it would only be right for them to do things around the castle. Jungeun’s patterns around Jinsol’s bare chest were turning into scratches and Jinsol turned her head to wonder what brought about the change. _

_Jinsol looked at Jungeun with all the love in the world._

_(No. But I can’t tell you yet.)_

_“I-I-I heard Sooyoung’s a great cook now. She does most of the cooking for their household,” Jungeun redirected, lightening up on her scratching in case Jinsol could figure it out. She couldn’t tell her yet._

_The one episode early in the week got Jinsol to stay for the rest of the month._

_How much more if she knew everything?_

_Before she knew it, Jungeun was rambling. Like every sovereign, she was trained to keep a good face and suppress any improper thoughts. Teacher Petrie at the Discipline, Energy, Beauty, Strength Academy taught her well._

_(She could practically hear Vivi in her head, telling her that suppression in front of citizens was fine but she needed a proper outlet. Her current therapy of screaming into pillows was thwarted upon Jinsol’s return.)_

_“...You’re right, and Heejin has always wanted to go abroad,” Jinsol agreed, laying a kiss on Jungeun’s head, letting her lips linger, “Maybe it’s finally time to help make that happen for her.”_

_The blonde traced the (now faint white) scars on Jungeun’s back, wondering if she needed to edit her research trip to include scar healing._

_But she’d focus on that after the new years’ feasts._

_Right now, she wanted nothing else than to revel in the presence of her wife, knowing they could sleep in tomorrow as they had Yeojin postpone tomorrow’s schedules._

_(Little did they know, Yeojin had great joy telling everyone with a wag of her finger, “you’re fired…temporarily.”)_

_Jungeun snapped her head up to Jinsol dozing off, returning back to her reality._

_Jinsol just said something._

_What did she just suggest?_

\---

Haseul was getting bored - using most of her brain this month to plan Vivi’s “not” birthday bash - so devised a distraction: a volunteer music class. Only her best students showed up. As usual.

Haseul rolled her eyes again as the girls fought over something that didn’t have anything to do with her lesson. As usual.

“How is ‘so’ a needle sewing thread?”

“No it’s not spelled that way. It’s ‘so,’ like the verb.”

“‘So,’ is an adverb.”

“No, not ‘so.’ But sew. They’re homonyms.”

“Teacher Haseul, can words be homophobic?”

Before Haseul opened her mouth and say that yes, words can hold offensive meanings behind them. Her lesson on slurs not so many years ago when Yeojin asked aloud if Vivi was a “w-word” still fresh. (They were called healers now.) Haseul told her two best students to continue working on scales.

They carried on, forgetting their argument, and Haseul smiled, loving the sound of their music.

Unlike Jungeun and Jinsol who knew how to conceal their emotions, Haseul couldn’t fight her smile from fading.

Because while Yerim and Heejin sang their hearts out, never missing a note or breath, Haseul was counting her days when it would only be Yerim that remained.

She had watched Vivi help Heejin pack in the room across. Heejin asked if there was a way Vivi could make her bag bigger on the inside so she could put more of her belongings inside. Vivi referenced a novel Haseul hasn’t touched yet: Mary Poppins. (Heejin got it right away.) And Heejin hoped the Kim kingdom would have the novel for her to read. Yeojin, Yerim, and Chaewon joined her with somber smiles as Heejin place her most important things in her suitcases, her mother’s apron being last.

Maybe it was best Hyunjin was tracking Sooyoung down to request something for her sister’s benefit. No doubt the seneschal would miss Heejin the most. But with immense happiness on Heejin’s face as Vivi told her all about her Heejin’s birthplace, Haseul knew it was for the best.

Heejin was going home.

\---

_Jieun and Kibum - who went by the names IU and Key, not to be mistaken for the other Jieuns and Kibums in the fifty-member castle staff - were hard workers._

_As stable boy - man, Key would correct - and head cook - chef, IU would correct - they never left a job unfinished. Unlike most castle staff, they weren’t born or transferred into their roles but hired for their commendable jobs elsewhere. IU was a court musician who picked up shifts in the kitchen when staff was rushed during solemnities and banquets. Key was a royal guard who had given up his role for the new generation of knights._

_(Enter Sooyoung.)_

_People hated them for relinquishing their roles, especially for making way for a majority women staff, but they were strong in their beliefs and hoped to bestow their philosophies on their pride and joy._

_Heejin._

_She took after their headstrong attitude. Their physical talents? Not so much._

_With the batter splattered all over the counter, floor, her hair, and the ceiling, Heejin pouted for messing up another one of her mother’s recipes. It was the Cavalry Banquet and they were making a rum cake per Taeyang’s request._

_Maybe that’s why she messed up, Heejin reasoned. She wasn’t used to stirring rum into the mix. Maybe she would find a different path like her parents did. They hoped she would not feel pressured to take after them. Before she bursted into tears, IU took her daughter into her arms, wiping the batter off Heejin’s face._

_Nurture with love and patience, was one of her parenting techniques._

_“Well why do we have to make a whole cake for this Cavalry?” Key smacked his lips clean of the batter._

_Hate the game, not the player, was one of his parenting techniques._

_Heejin’s father had a more stern approach, blaming everything on the environment so their daughter would always have a large dose of self-esteem. But once he started, he couldn’t stop. He could be in the troupe when he saved enough money to retire._

_IU thought that would be an excellent job. He could take Heejin with her as she had a wanderlust like no other._

_“I thought Cavalry was just one person, but it’s a whole group of these witches.”_

_Heejin giggled, bouncing in IU’s lap, her bunny smile poking out. _

_Key winked at his wife who rolled her eyes at his theatrics and then scolded him for using the w-slur. It was a good thing the horses couldn’t actually understand him because she was sure he practiced his stage audition in front of them._

\---

“How does she do that?” Yeojin’s jaw dropped as Hyejoo sailed down the rope course.

It took years for Yeojin to even complete it and Hyejoo did it at ease - stumbling a little at the ascending monkey bars - and finishing a whole minute after Hyunjin. Which for a rookie was unbelievable. Hyunjin looked disappointed as her time was slower, taking a peek at the markings on the hourglass, and wondered who to blame.

Looking at the frosted equipment, then at Yeojin’s blue lips - she couldn’t tell from Hyejoo as she would always be warm like she was - she attributed her slow time to the cold environment.

Hyejoo shrugged and wiped off non-existent sweat.

(Hyunjin knew it was non-existent. Yeojin didn’t.)

The squire looked between a sheepish Hyejoo and an uptight Hyunjin - she’d been uptight since dinner last night and Yeojin considered offering her a laxative - and wondered if they were long lost twins.

Maybe triplets if you added Yerim.

Opting out of Haseul’s music lesson, they were showing Hyejoo how they kept in shape during the off-season. Bringing out a collection of ropes, rings, and ladders, Hyunjin constructed a rope course using the walls of the estate. (Jinsol made it retractable in case wolves used it to sneak in.)

There were fewer missions to carry out during the winter and now that Hyejoo had a crest, she wanted to know how she could keep it.

According to her mother, it was a lifelong career unless there were extenuating circumstances. Hyejoo knew her unwelcomed wolf identity was one example of these circumstances that ended her mother’s career. Yet it was the same circumstance that boosted hers. 

“You know…” Yeojin started, giving more advice than Hyunjin at this point.

Yeojin wasn’t even wearing the right clothes to work out in, arriving to their scheduled course run ten minutes late with a steaming mug of coffee.

“...one way to get the ladies is by being a knight,” Yeojin wiggled her eyebrows.

The “twins” shared a look.

Hyejoo knew it was a perk but it wasn’t one she was interested in. Jiwoo had told her time and time again that if Sooyoung wasn’t a knight, she would have fallen for her regardless. Hyejoo retched each time she heard it.

Hyunjin knew it was a perk but it wasn’t one she had considered. She became a knight to live out her parents’ legacy. The carnal benefits were temporary. The cheers were background noise. The cards were tedious. The pats on the back were unfelt. The worship was asinine.

The riches were nothing compared to the melodic singing in the castle only her ears could pick up.

(Hyejoo’s did too but Heejin’s voice didn’t impress her much.)

\---

_Jinsol was glad Heejin was past the age of being carried as Chaewon and Yerim fought to be in Jungeun’s arms. Balancing the two on each hip, Jungeun looked at Jinsol for help._

_“I would help but I’m weirdly jealous,” Jinsol said, rocking a napping Yeojin in her cradle._

_Jungeun rose an eyebrow at Jinsol but found it adorable that Jinsol was more clingy lately. They had their hands full with babysitting duties meaning they haven’t had much time together. Haseul and Vivi had gallivanted off to the market today. Sooyoung had immigrated back to the Kim kingdom with her family for hope of a quicker path to Head Knight. Yongguk and Minzy were on show in the neighboring Park kingdom._

_And Heejin’s parents had passed mere weeks ago._

_Life moved on and the Jung kingdom Head Knight Taeyang was gracious to take some of Jinsol’s duties while the two queens figured out what to do with Heejin._

_Jungeun and Jinsol adopting them was out of the question._

_Royal blood in their family only, according to the laws of the council._

_Taeyang and Hyorin were at the top tier as well and already had their hands full with two rambunctious kids. One of them was off with her parents to carry out official duties.. The other was pulling on Jungeun’s hair to get her attention. _

_If they didn’t find her legal parents soon, little Heejin would be sent to an institution and they might as well kiss her goodbye. No kid in an institution remained in the kingdom they resided in. Some didn’t make it past eighteen with the conditions they lived in._

_(The Jungs were working on a petition for institution inspections to be carried out by a third party but that required a third party and for the council to actually care.)_

_The council had outdated beliefs about single parenting so made it imperative that two beings allowed to adopt._

_The only viable options left were Vivi and Haseul._

_Jungeun and Jinsol would bring it up when the pair returned from their market with their empty bags again._

\---

Chaewon wondered if she turned her own hourglass too early.

She had (unfortunately) adopted a research obsession from Jinsol and was jotting the rope course times in her notebook she kept in her own bottom drawer.

She created a new row for a new name.

Ha Hyejoo.

After the Great Attack that resulted in the loss of the Kim monarchs, a flood of knight candidates took every kingdom by a storm and nearly everyone was inducted to replenish the staff. However, juvenile decisions were made among the teenage knights and many were lost within their first ten quests. The wolves infected a large portion of the population, wanting to outnumber their human enemies and build their own kingdom afresh.

Afterall freshly turned wolves were often wild beasts left to tear apart their own homes while those in control left the scenes, forcing the villages they attacked into the worst situations. Kill or be killed, by your own neighbor.

Silversmith work was at its highest in retaliation.

Fire with fire.

Chaewon could see that both sides were wrong. If it wasn’t for the superiority complex between both groups centuries ago, it wouldn’t have built a crescendo to this war.

(Speaking of crescendos, she should really join Yerim and Heejin for music lessons downstairs.)

The war had lost momentum over the years but it was an unfair fencing bout that brought her mother home, not a victory screech on the frontlines. Outside the castle walls, she knew havoc ensued. Just because her parents slept better at night, and concurrently her knowing she wouldn’t have to sleep with one eye open in case her mother had a nightmare, doesn’t mean the inhabitants of the kingdom did. The older generation left their posterity to suffer, voting for the most draconian laws to keep this carnage at a high.

The princess kept a record to be on the safe side. She needed to know who was the fastest, strongest, most agile, most frugal, and most easy to get along with.

(She adopted her paranoia from her other mother, she wouldn’t want to admit.)

Maybe she would need it one day.

Maybe she would need to pick the best knight to be Head Knight one day.

Maybe what she was really looking for was her own Hyunjin - not that the current one was aging but the knight had done enough for the kingdom already and didn’t even have the highest ranking Dalcom card yet. 

Because maybe - don’t tell her mothers - the war’s end would be far in sight and Chaewon would have to become her own version of Jinsol.

\---

_Taeyang and Hyorin loved Hyunjin’s headstrong outlook. She was never bullied by other children around the castle and she was never swindled into doing anyone’s dirty work. But right now, it was doing no one in their bedroom favors. Hyorin patted the back of the sleeping Yerim and gave a look to her husband to sort this out._

_She had said her piece over fifty times, maybe Hyunjin needed a different voice of reason._

_But then again, her husband did name her horse Good Boy._

_“We love Heejin just as much as you do…”_

_“NO YOU DON’T! BECAUSE I DON’T WANT HER TO GO AWAY AND YOU DO!” Hyunjin screamed, showing her rare dramatic flair._

_Taeyang blamed her spending too much time with the late Key when he was still as healthy as a horse._

_(As healthy as a Good Boy.)_

_Yerim fussed in her sleep, softening her parents’ enough to take into consideration what Hyunjin was proposing. It was already difficult for the knights to switch shifts to care for two little ones._

_Not that Heejin was hard to discipline by all means._

_Keeping track of their kids’ whereabouts was enough to cause grey hair. The thought came to ask the court musicians yet they had also just had a new addition join them not that long ago and he couldn’t think to ask them to add another. _

_If only Sooyoung didn’t leave so prematurely, having only one child of her own, maybe she could take on another mouth to feed._

_(That was a figure of speech, the castle food bill was also footed by the queens themselves.)_

_They couldn’t take on another responsibility now._

_Especially since the closer someone gets to them, the more likely they were to find out about their family tree._

_(The freak out they had when they found out Vivi was a healer descendant made them uneasy but it seemed like she didn’t suspect anything. At least humans liked - and exploited - her kind.)_

_They adored Heejin but it was a risk._

_Time for the big swords._

_“Hyunjin…”_

_Hyunjin sniffled, not facing her parents._

_“Hyunjin…”_

_Hyunjin never relented. She would make a good knight one day._

_“Hyunjin, you know if Heejin was your sister, you wouldn’t be able to marry her.” Taeyang avoided Hyorin’s incredulous stare._

_It’s not like Hyunjin wore her heart on her sleeve but they knew puppy love when they saw it. They could hear Hyunjin’s heart skip whenever Heejin was around, how her temperature rose higher than normal when Heejin held her hand, how the first person she ran to when they got home from an excursion was always Heejin._

_Earlier this morning, Taeyang suggested that if Hyunjin wanted Heejin to stay so badly, maybe she could adopt her. After all she did say that “she loved her like a daughter.” Of course she didn’t mean it. She was just in denial. (Hyorin didn’t talk to him until it was time to give the girls lunch for being so abrasive.)_

_There was no telling if Hyunjin would feel the same years later-_

_(It would be stronger actually.)_

_-but sometimes one needed a little embellishment to make a point._

_Hyunjin turned around, her nose runny but still high in the air, and accepted defeat._

\---

“I hope Aunt Haseul wasn’t too upset,” Chaewon apologized, hastily putting her portfolio away.

“No, she was more focused on Heejin’s singing, making her sing all her favorites,” Yerim flopped on Chaewon’s bed.

They knew what Teacher Haseul was doing. Milking the last moments she could with their beloved cook (and her beloved daughter.) There was no telling when Heejin would return but everyone was trying to leave a good impression on her and make sure Heejin left with happy memories.

All but one.

Chaewon looked outside at Hyunjin working the rope course, making no effort to put it away soon. Yeojin and Hyejoo were tired - not Hyejoo she was just hungry - and were now raiding the kitchen, according to Yerim. Heejin sprinted out of the ballroom to make sure the two didn’t make too big of a mess.

Leaving a teary Haseul behind.

She excused class early which meant Yerim was now in Chaewon’s room, thinking of ideas for Heejin’s parting gift.

“I’m going to miss her but it’s for the best.”

Yerim frowned. Chaewon was starting to sound like Hyunjin and there was only so much stubbornness the handmaiden could stomach.

Chaewon could feel Yerim’s eyes lasering into her but she was trying to remain as subjective as possible. Heejin had treated her well throughout the years, snuck her food while preparing for major feasts and balls, given her summaries outside the classroom for books Chaewon couldn’t finish in time, and never let anyone else take the spotlight when she was praised. Even if she was the first in their generation that remained in the castle, she made sure everyone had equal footing and equal amounts to eat.

She would do well wherever she succeeded.

Chaewon knew that sacrifices came with being a leader, which is what she was born to do. Her parents released many people on staff but she was too young to form a personal connection with them.

She befriended the remaining staff and Heejin was like her older sister.

“You sound like we’re sacrificing her to the dogs.”

Yerim bit her tongue. She didn’t like relegating dogs to beasts but it kept her family history safe. It was her own moral sacrifice she had to make.

But it was nothing like giving up a friend.

\---

_Yerim was startled by Chaewon’s new look. _

_Or should she say Gowon’s new look._

_“And who am I again?” _

_“Choi Li remember? Keep up Yerim!”_

_“Hah! You messed up.”_

_“I mean, Choi Li.”_

_Chaewon took one last look at her reflection in a nearby puddle, not recognizing herself with black hair. All of that charcoal was going to be hard to wash out. But her light hair color against their dark shades meant it had to Chaewon._

_(Maybe they could have Haseul stand outside the castle gates so the rain could wash away some of the charcoal before she could take a proper bath.)_

_Chaewon and Yerim familiarize themselves with all the entry points in the alley, having ditched their guard to take on the task. (He was going to be fired but all jobs came with sacrifices.) If caught, Chaewon could either run towards the market (which was luckily buzzing with activity), towards the residential area (which was lively due to new residents moving in), or shoot an arrow and get hoisted up._

_Yeojin waved from above where she would be watching to ensure Chaewon’s safety throughout the event._

_Chaewon made sure her bow and quiver were tucked neatly behind the empty barrels. Yerim joined Yeojin on the rooftop._

_Chaewon cleared her throat, still unsure if she wanted to mimic the squeaky rambling of her mother Jungeun or the slow monotone of her mother Jinsol. She was throwing herself to the dogs but she trusted the person she was supposed to meet here._

_After all, they lived together._

_But only one of them would know that._

\---

Vivi was fortunate Heejin didn’t wear too many frilly things as she shoved the last of her formal wear - all five outfits - into her suitcase. Looking around the half empty room, Heejin’s side resembled a barren desert.

Vivi could already feel how cold her nights would be without her adopted daughter sleeping beside her.

When they first moved in together after the adoption, Vivi and Heejin were on different sides of the affection spectrum. Vivi was more reserved and Heejin was a hugger. The former asked for maybe separate beds so Heejin didn’t feel uncomfortable with someone who was supposedly her new “mother.” But hearing the young girl cry out in her sleep, Vivi took her into her arms and rocked her gently, murmuring praise and endearments. Something she’d taught Jinsol to do around Jungeun when she had a crying spell.

Heejin apologized for not addressing Vivi as mom but Vivi was understanding. In fact, she wasn’t sure she wanted to be called that either. As a castle physician, any illness related death put her at fault in her mind. And she had her hands red with Key and IU’s untimely passing.

(No one blamed her. Guilt was a long standing Kim castle tradition. Exhibits A and B: Sooyoung with her family and Jungeun with hers.)

“I heard Queen Taeyeon’s daughter has a library of books.”

Heejin’s head shot up. Vivi was sure going to miss how excited the girl was at simple things.

Kim Seohyun, considered one of the smartest royals of their generation, would have plenty of books to share with her cousin’s dear young chef Heejin. Taeyeon had been reduced as a failure by many since her marriage with the Queen Jessica didn’t follow through. Adding single motherhood to that - no one knows who the other parent was and no one dared to ask - and the public crucified Taeyeon and Seohyun’s image. But they were resilient. 

(Keeping one’s head held high in the face of uncertainty was another Kim castle trait. Exhibits A, B, and C: Vivi and sometimes Jungeun and Sooyoung.)

“I can’t wait. I’ve practically read everything here twice.”

“My own Baudelaire,” Vivi ruffled Heejin’s hair.

“Does that make Yeojin a ‘Sunny Baudelaire’ with her incessant biting?” Heejin joked back.

Years ago, she would’ve never gotten any of Vivi’s references but now that she’s exhausted the library - and some of Jinsol’s private collections - it was time she find new novels to read, new adventures to partake.

New people to fall in love with.

\---

_“It doesn’t have to mean anything.”_

_“You of all people should not be telling me that,” Haseul bit back._

_It wasn’t that she wanted Heejin to leave. She was an amazing babysitter to Yeojin. Whereas Hyunjin was too stern, Heejin played the roll of good knight to a tee. Also, Heejin was an amazing help in the kitchen, laundry room, courtyard, any room really._

_But besides her practicality, Heejin was like family to them all._

_Haseul joked that she was like her mother whenever she was asked to look after her when IU was hired for banquets across kingdoms or Key was trading horses for derbies far off._

_But she didn’t think she’d be her literal mother._

_Literal as in, on paper._

_Which is what Jinsol was asking for her to be._

_And the example of Jungeun and Jinsol starting off as a paper marriage wasn’t easing Haseul’s worries. Because now the two were madly in love with each other. Haseul was sure Jungeun was off in Vivi’s room, convincing her of the same thing._

_(Vivi didn’t need much convincing. She knew how to separate her own emotions to the duties to this family.)_

_Jinsol was asking for Haseul to marry Vivi so they could adopt Heejin. It wasn’t a masquerade. It wasn’t conniving. It wasn’t even a lie. People wed all the time for benefits, unethical or not._

_Whether it was seeking asylum, strengthening trading routes, or love-_

_(Haseul pretended she didn’t know what the last word was.)_

_-marriage made decision-making easier and painless._

_That’s not to say Vivi would make a terrible wife. With everything she’s done and had to do to earn her spot, she should’ve had a line of suitors out the castle doors. Haseul knew she’d be one of them but Vivi didn’t need to know that now._

_Haseul thought she’d have time to earn the older woman’s attention._

_But with Jinsol looking at her with her hopeful eyes, Haseul knew she had to commit to this decision. And she didn’t know if she was terrified or hopeful that the Jungeun and Jinsol’s outcome would be able to repeat itself with Vivi and her._

\---

“Knock knock,” Jinsol said aloud, accompanying her actual knocking with sound effects in case they couldn’t hear her.

Vivi and Haseul were figuring out what outfit Heejin would travel in so she could finally close up her bags. Haseul was “helping.” She agreed to every statement about what to wear and what not to wear in the Kim kingdom as if she lived there.

Haseul didn’t know anything but Vivi was always right.

They welcomed the queen in, unsurprised that Jungeun was brought along with her, holding hands all the way up until they reached the bed.

“We’re exchanging travelling advice?”

“Yup!” Heejin smiled.

The smile that hadn’t gone away since Jungeun and Jinsol said they’d look into getting her transferred. They were saddened to lose such an important person but they were happy for what would come for their chef and their niece.

“I’d say, make sure a door is a door before you run into it.”

Vivi and Jungeun snorted at the memory of Jinsol first visiting the Kim castle. It wasn’t for a happy occasion but Jinsol headbutting into every floor to ceiling window until she found an entrypoint was still funny.

Jungeun rubbed the back of Jinsol’s hand, wondering what she would have done if she had gotten out of bed to see Jinsol being a fool outside. But then again, her condition kept her in bed for hours, days, and weeks.

“You’re going to do great there Heejin. My cousin will take care of you well and I know my aunt will absolutely adore you.”

“I’m only afraid that she’ll tower over me,” Heejin confessed.

“Oh I wouldn’t worry about that. The Kim family is pretty short,” Haseul chimed in.

“Haseul, how do you know that?”

Queen Taeyeon and Seohyun rarely visited. Since the attacks, the roads have been under strong surveillance and construction on multiple routes has backed up traffic. Also, they had their own kingdom to worry about. Any time the Kim and Jung kingdoms needed to do direct business, Jinsol traveled to them.

“Vivi told me!” The court musician proclaimed, smiling widely from cheek to cheek.

Jungeun, Jinsol, and Heejin tried not to let the confusion paint their face. But Vivi let hers show, tickled that her on-paper wife remembered even the little things she told her.

(Still unaware that Haseul remembered everything Vivi told her no matter how minuscule.)

\---

_Jungeun was sure she chipped a tooth on her brownie mix, moving her tongue around her mouth to make sure she didn’t lose any teeth before swallowing. Jinsol was braver, swallowing whole chunks when she heard her wife struggling to chew next to her. Vivi and Haseul were on their fourth cups of water, balancing the sour pineapple taste with the hazelnut spread on their toasted broad. Chaewon was fortunate to have taken lessons in mannerisms to keep a good face. But she was going to sneak into the kitchen later tonight to eat something with sustenance._

_Yeojin and Yerim were competing for first place at who had the most obvious disgusted face._

_“It’s that bad?” Heejin squeaked._

_Vivi pouted, wishing Hyunjin was there. The young knight would agree with all of them that this “meal” was memorable in its own ways but Hyunjin could console Heejin for her first attempt at head chef. Or at least try. Hyunjin wouldn’t be that cold-hearted even if she pretended Heejin’s existence was a ghost for some reason._

_Jinsol and Jungeun shook their heads and before they could get up and console the girl, knowing she was afraid she’d lose her place in the castle, her parents were at her sides._

_“Our first time doing things aren’t always perfect. When I first sang a song in front of Queen Hyoyeon and Queen Jessica, I was off tune,” Haseul advised. “And I wasn’t beheaded.”_

_(Jinsol inhaled sharply at the mention of her mothers.)_

_“And when I first performed surgery, I forgot to muffle their screams with a towel and didn’t give enough opium for pain relief,” Vivi said nonchalantly, tucking Heejin’s hair behind her ears._

_ (Everyone at the table made a silent promise to never get in a situation that required surgery.)_

_Heejin fought the tears from falling. She thought that if she messed up tonight, she’d be on the next carriage out._

_“You still have your place at the castle, Heejin,” Haseul soothed._

_“Isn’t that right Your Majesties?” Vivi smiled sickeningly sweet towards the queens, her eyes fiery and determined._

_They were still terrified by what Vivi just admitted and nodded adamantly, Jungeun squeezing Jinsol’s hand in fear. But not too hard so she wouldn’t have to have surgery._

_Heejin bowed her head in thanks. Tomorrow will be a better day. It was moments like this that reminded her of the importance of found family. Even if anyone could’ve offered advice like Vivi and Haseul did, there was something maternal about the way Vivi clasped her hand on her shoulder and Haseul rubbed her back._

_She still couldn’t find it in herself to call them “mom” but she would call them family._

_All of them._

_How she thought Jungeun and Jinsol, who’ve been so accommodating since she moved in, would fire her on the spot made Heejin get over her self-doubt. She’d try harder for breakfast. For now, she’d scratch brownies and toast off the menu._

_“You know this one’s not so bad,” Yeojin smacked her lips as she tried the toast with grapes on it, making Yerim gag beside her._

\---

The Jung castle now had a sauna. Steam rose to the high vaulted ceilings and fogged up the windows. Sooyoung had single handedly prepared dinner and was putting the finishing garnishes on top, quite proud of her work.

Jiwoo giggled as she finished bringing the dishes down, groping for where the counters were in the steam, entertained by her wife the past hour. They were used to preparing meals for three in their cozy hut that Sooyoung went a bit overboard, knowing they’d have leftovers for tomorrow if the food didn’t get too spoiled.

(_“Jiwoo this pot is humongous! You can fit a whole swan in here.”_)

The castle had a well-insulated cooling storage unit and used the outside air to keep food lasting long. Maybe they could use that to store food.

When Sooyoung felt hands on her midriff, it wasn’t from her beautiful lover, but the former head chef.

“Why aren’t you wearing a full shirt?” Heejin whined.

She didn’t want to harlot-shame but too much skin showing in the kitchen was dangerous. Heejin almost couldn’t find Sooyoung in the steamy room. Touching Sooyoung’s skin was an accident but she went along with it, having to grope her way through the counters to find who caused this to her kitchen.

No, not her kitchen anymore.

Sooyoung’s kitchen.

Keeping her hands covering the new chef’s stomach, Heejin waddled them over to the windows to vent out the room.

As the room cleared, she took a look at the finished meals and was impressed.The adults she left in her (former) bedroom had high hopes for Sooyoung’s cooking, having missed it when she moved out. They didn’t forget to compliment Heejin who was more adept at incorporating Western flavors into her meals. Whereas Sooyoung was able to make something out of nothing - something she picked up spending days in the woods as a knight.

They would’ve enjoyed them both exchanging their cooking secrets.

One being appropriate kitchen attire.

“Forgive her Heejin, she doesn’t own many full shirts,” Jiwoo apologized. Not having enough money to buy new clothes was a curse and a blessing. Hyejoo overwashed their clothes with her wolf speed because laundry was her least favorite chore, shrinking them in weeks.

With the few days they lived at the castle, Heejin was already disgusted how in love these two were. She had just left one disgustingly cute couple in her bedroom - definitely not her foster parents.

Now as Sooyoung and Jiwoo were talking with their eyes, Heejin needed to leave this room too.

Casting a longing look at her favorite room in the castle, Heejin left the married couple to themselves as she went to say goodbye to the rest of her home.

\---

_“Are you Gowon?”_

_“Who is-why yes! Yes, I am!” Chaewon bellowed, scruffing her voice as part of her disguise. She also tried to talk faster as another layer of sabotage._

_Heejin looked left and right as she held a wrapped up bundle close to her chest. Years of collecting these cards, particularly for one specific knight, she had to bid them goodbye in order to make enough money for the upcoming knight auction._

_The younger girls in the castle knew about it, wanting to help but Heejin refused. So when Chaewon spoke about a villager who would exchange good money for her cards, Heejin was quick to take on the offer._

_(Chaewon, Yerim, and Yeojin were still figuring out how to sneak the cards back to her and asked Vivi if the mythical tooth fairy could also deliver trading cards. But that would require knocking one of Heejin’s teeth out and they weren’t sure how to go about doing that safely.)_

_“You got the stuff?” Chaewon asked, her chin meeting her chest to get the perfect low voice._

_“Yes, yes, I do, right here,” Heejin said, handing the wrapped up bundle over._

_Chaewon recognized the covering as some of the finest fabrics that only a royal could have. She would’ve scolded Heejin to be less obvious in bartering but that would ruin her disguise._

_(Maybe she could write a note when one of them delivered trading cards under Heejin’s pillow after knocking her teeth out. Maybe they could have her make those rock-hard brownies again then it would look like her fault.)_

_Chaewon was careful not to touch Heejin but the stack of trading cards wasn’t budging. She tugged lightly, not wanting her impatience to show. Or her cover would be blown if she let out her usual whines of irritability._

_“I apologize. It’s just...it took so long for me to collect those,” Heejin admitted, wondering if this was a good decision._

_There were other ways to go about getting money. Yeojin volunteered to set up a magic show - where she learned magic from she wouldn’t tell - and since the girl was a natural charmer, she could rack in tips that could buy every knight at that auction._

_But Heejin wanted to do this on her own._

_Chaewon nodded and took the bundle delicately, making a show of stowing it away in her bag so Heejin knew it was in good hands. She made sure that when she handed Heejin the money, she stuck in a few more bills and schillings for Heejin’s trouble._

\---

Heejin swept her hand across the desks of the reading room. The room where she received her formal education. Her parents told her one can learn from anywhere, not just from a teacher. Since Jaden was adamant in having a royals-only classroom, Heejin didn’t start her formal education until after Haseul and Vivi became the new teachers.

She could see the sunlight dimming outside the window, signalling her last night at the castle.

Four loud pairs of feet ran into the room, ruining her solemn farewell.

She’d have plenty of time to cry in the carriage ride. It was almost a half-day trip. Right now, she had to be strong for them. As the eldest in their group, she couldn’t show that she was having second thoughts about her transfer.

“There you are. We were looking all over for you,” Chaewon started.

“We weren’t sure what to get you and we don’t have time to go down to the market,” Yeojin said.

“The horses aren’t feeling up to it today.”

Everyone looked at Yerim, wondering how she knew that, and trudged on.

“And it’s not really a gift since it’s yours. But we thought you should have it back,” Chaewon finished.

Hyejoo, who was there for moral support, had no idea why the three castle dwellers were excited to give this to Heejin. Brainstorming of farewell gift, they couldn’t think of anything. No book in the castle would suffice as the recipient most likely would’ve read it and she didn’t care much for expensive gowns and knick-knacks.

Hyejoo shoved their gift into Heejin’s hand, doing her part as she had nothing to say. They were worn-down knight cards but as they shuffled through them, one particular face was a constant.

(_“I’ll tell you later,” Chaewon whispered at Hyejoo’s confused face._)

Heejin was in shock as her old deck was handed back to her, wrapped in the same cloth it was in when she gave it to Gowon: the travelling businesswoman and fast poet. They were in the same order she had them in - Hyunjin’s cards tucked neatly every other few cards in the center so in case of flooding, they wouldn’t be too damaged.

(The girls couldn’t return the cards right after knowing they had to deceive, lie, and cheat Heejin to buy them. The East’s notorious swindler won Hyunjin’s hand at the auction making everyone uneasy towards people who lied. Especially Heejin and Hyunjin. )

She opened her mouth for an explanation but Chaewon, Yeojin, and Yerim shook their heads no.

“How-?”

“Nope.”

“But-”

“Uh-uh.”

“Who-”

“We’re not telling you.”

“But-”

“Okay, I’ll tell you if you finally call me Aunt Yeojin!”

“I’d rather die first.” Heejin stuck her tongue out at her “aunt” then looked to everyone for some type of clue. Gaze ending on the newest member of their friend circle.

“Yeah, I have no idea what’s going on either,” Hyejoo finally spoke up.

The rookie watched as Heejin brought each other them in for a hug, including herself even if she had only known the girl for a month, amused at how each of them were fighting off breaking down. Even Yeojin was struggling, pounding on her chest to keep the tears at bay. Besides Chaewon, Hyejoo never felt close to someone not of blood-relation to miss them but she sympathized with the girls, hearing someone’s heart throbbing in pain.

(She wondered where the noise was coming from but only saw four girls shaking their heads vigorously and teasing the other for blubbering.)

Hopefully, like herself, Heejin would find a way back to the Jung castle one day and make their family whole again.

\---

_“And next up, we have the handsome and dashing Dong Hyunjin!” Jo Kwon proclaimed loudly as he gestured towards the curtain Hyunin was gripping the dear life of._

_Eight women in particular - one of them behind the curtain who had come to check on Hyunjin before her turn - held their breath as Hyunjin took the stage._

_Jungeun was surprised at how angry Jinsol looked as eager men moved closer to the stage to get a better look. She had never seen Jinsol this defensive before. Maybe it was a new side of her she was growing into while she took those journeys out into the woods with the other knights._

_“I explained the rules already but let me say it again because I know most of you don’t pay attention to me even if you should. Rule Number One: No men.”_

_Jinsol smiled, sinking back into her seat as a series of groans echoed throughout the room._

_“Rule Two: Only those between the ages of eighteen and twenty-four can bid.”_

_More groans and one even cursed._

_“On it!” Yeojin toppled over Yerim, eager to flex her squire identity._

_Yeojin escorted the man out, getting a nod of approval from Jinsol. It could’ve been a date for his sisterfor all they cared but Jinsol and Jungeun wanted this to sail smoothly. Hyunjin was popular among the kingdom but even if she was guaranteed to be the biggest moneymaker, her safety and wellbeing were more important._

_Hyunjin fiddled with her hands as everyone around her wondered her worth._

_Haseul and Vivi readied themselves to hand their money to Chaewon - eighteen or not, they knew the queens would make an exception - pooling their money together in case Heejin couldn’t meet the top bid. Jungeun and Jinsol were ready to come up with an argument in case someone they didn’t like won Hyunjin over. After all, their opinion should rule over anyone’s._

_Like everyone else in the castle, they wanted only one person to win Hyunjin’s date tonight._

_For her sake and for Hyunjin’s._

\---

It would be her last sunset in the Jung castle, standing in the middle of the roundabout to see the glowing orb descend into the horizon.

After many tears and laughs, Heejin excused herself from the classroom and said she would be late for supper. Hyejoo had to pry Yerim from her arms and Heejin looked at her friends fondly, knowing Hyejoo was a wonderful addition. She hoped the rookie’s new residency would mean they wouldn’t miss the chef’s absence too much. But she didn’t say it aloud, knowing they’d only argue back that they were equally important.

Jiwoo and Sooyoung had already set the table and would cover dishes so there was no need for Heejin to do anything anymore.

She wasn’t needed anymore.

“So you’re really going?” A voice called behind her.

It was a voice Heejin hoped she would wake up next to every day.

A voice she thought matched with hers completely. In pitch, tone, and timbre.

But that was what she got for reading those romance novels, especially ones where one could plug in your name and another’s name to make it look like the story belonged to them.

“Yeah,” Heejin uttered, unsure what she would turn around to.

Why did she want Hyunjin to be heartbroken over this? To show that there was a chance? Is that why she was actually happy Hyunjin hadn’t said goodbye yet? Because she created some sick fantasy that somewhere in Hyunjin’s life, she mattered?

“I don’t like that you’re not looking at me,” Hyunjin said.

Has she damaged Heejin that much that she can’t even look her in the eyes anymore? All those times she ran away was to keep Heejin safe from her, but at the announcement that it was Heejin’s turn to go, Hyunjin wanted to hold on.

She had wanted to say goodbye many times throughout the day, thinking she had her chance when Heejin was alone in the classroom but ducked into the storage closet when the rambunctious kids barrelled down the hall to give Heejin her cards back.

Cards they both thought Heejin lost.

Cards that represented how much Heejin wanted Hyunjin even when Hyunjin was too stubborn to admit the same.

“I don’t know if I can face you right now.”

“Why?” Hyunjin’s voice broke.

It pained Heejin that she was satisfied with that sound. Why did she want her to care?

“Because if I take one look at you, I might rescind my transfer.”

This move was good for Heejin, that they could agree. But if they stopped the ball in motion, it would mean there was more to them than this friendship they had. This friendship of longing looks and what-ifs and untimely meetings and grim secrets.

How cruel would it be to start something beyond friendship now?

Hyunjin was right behind Heejin now. She could feel her heart beating, having the sound fill up her very soul and wonder why she denied this for so long.

“What if I want you to?”

Heejiin whipped around, tears streaming down her face. Hyunjin had been so focused on her own feelings, she should’ve been able to hear her crying. She had been more than selfish these years and Heejin was going to let her have it.

“You can’t say that. No, you don’t have the right to say that.”

“Heeji--”

“NO! You can’t even stay in the same room with me for more than an hour when you’re here and you-you-you can’t even talk to me about anything other than our family and the weather and what is there to eat in the kitchen. You don’t have the RIGHT to want me to stay.”

Heejin didn’t know why Hyunjin didn’t stop her from pounding on her chest but she pressed on, punctuating her words with her fists. She didn’t want Hyunjin to feel like she deserved such a crass deliverance but Hyunjin showed no signs of interrupting. She needed to release all this tension before the next day.

“I have always counted down the days you have left on your missions until you were back safe and sound. I have always made sure there was food waiting for you. I kept my school notes clean just so you’d stay updated in class. And you gave me nothing Hyunjin!”

Hyunjin could feel every punch to her chest crack and tear down the walls she built. She had unfairly made out Heejin to be this reaper, locking her outside her fortified heart and now she was breaking her way in.

This time, Hyunjin would let her.

“I’m sorry.”

Heejin shook her head. If she accepted her apology, it would mean that Hyunjin’s behavior towards her was justified. She turned her world upside down and Hyunjin should suffer for it. 

“I’m so sorry, Heejin.”

But if she didn’t, she would be fighting fire with fire. And how could one do that to the one they loved? On Chaewon’s eighteenth, Heejin had overhead Jungeun tell the princess that if someone returned, even after being gone for so long, it meant they didn’t mean to hurt you. But it didn't erase the pain.

“You’re right. I am a coward. And it would be foolish for you to accept me. I...I thought I was protecting you.”

Heejin would deny that Hyunjin hands were washed from all the mixed signals she sent her. Hyunjin was guilty. But so was she. She was never upfront about her feelings while Hyunjin ran away from hers.

“From what?”

One day, it would catch up to them.

“From me.”

That day would be tonight.

“I don’t need you to protect me. I’m a grown woman. But I don’t know if you know that since you’re never here!” Heejin didn’t know when she stopped hammering on Hyunjin’s chest but now her hands were resting comfortably on Hyunjin’s shoulders.

“I know,” Hyunjin didn’t know her hands made their way to Heejin’s hips - possibly to steady her and she gave her a well-deserved beating. Or maybe to hold her close and never let go.

The skies black, closing off the world around them, but for the two women in the driveway, their hearts were visible, ready to accept what the other would give.

“I can’t say goodbye to you Heejin.”

“Then don’t.”

Hyunjin squinted, unsure what Heejin meant. She must’ve gotten her cryptic way of talking from Vivi. Her new mother. She never even asked Heejin how her new family arrangement made her feel.

“I never said goodbye to you when you left on your missions.”

“Because I ran away too fast. I was out the door faster than it took you to wake up.”

“No, it’s not that.” Heejin reached up and grazed Hyunjin’s hardened jaw, surprised she was allowed to touch her like this.

Even if it was just for the night.

Even if it would be over by the morning.

“Because I couldn’t say goodbye to you yet.”

Closer than they’ve been in ages, immersed in the warmth they’ve held off on for years, Heejin and Hyunjin shared their first kiss.

\---

_“Going once. Going twice. Sold to the woman in red,” Jo Kwon announced, pointing towards Hyunjin’s lucky date._

_Yerim’s jaw dropped._

_Haseul’s eyes bulged out of her head._

_Vivi was cutting off the circulation in Haseul’s arm._

_Jinsol stood up in protest._

_Jungeun did the same._

_Chaewon yanked the curtain back to face who bought Hyunjin because that sure did not sound like--_

_Heejin was two beats away from running away._

_A woman that was not her pranced onto the stage, deposited the twenty pounds, more than double the amount of money Heejin had in her pocket - and way more than Haseul and Vivi had prepared - into the pot. Heejin watched as her lifelong crush get taken away from her and could feel her a sharp pain envelop her._

_Chaewon kicked herself in the head. She should’ve given Heejin more money. She should’ve set more restrictions. Looking over at her seething parents who were trying to reason with Jo Kwon, she could tell her anger wasn’t the only one felt in the room._

_“Hey what did I miss?” Yeojin took her seat next to Yerim._

_Unable to verbalize what she just witnessed, which could’ve been the quickest auction in history, Yerim pointed at the stage._

_Hyunjin knew she shouldn’t look around the room. Her training had always told her to keep her composure. She was sure anyone could’ve won her hand tonight. Maybe even Heejin if she really wanted her._

_(And maybe she did with the way Hyunjin could hear Heejin’s heart hammering out of her chest with each step she took closer to her date.)_

_But no one stood a chance against this woman: the daughter of one of the richest families in all the kingdoms combined._

_Yujin smiled as she held out her hand for Hyunjin to take._

\---

“MY EYES! MY EYES!” Haseul wailed.

The six eldest castle residents were watching the sunset, letting the kids get a head start on dinner. Even if they ate triple servings, there would be enough for them when they went down as Sooyoung cooked enough for a cavalry. 

They looked down to what got Haseul’s attention and saw Hyunjin and Heejin in a tight embrace in the driveway, then Heejin tilted her head up and brought Hyunjin for a sweet kiss.

They knew the younger generation was getting to the turning point where they would have to think if they wanted romance or not. It was a given that the two eldest in their generation would be the first to figure it out. With what Vivi, Haseul, Jungeun, and Jinsol have told them so far, Sooyoung and Jiwoo were surprised it took them that long. Hyunjin had the self-discipline of a goddess and Heejin, the patience of an angel.

Swept in their own feelings about what they had witnessed, they settled back in. Jinsol and Jungeun took up one of the lounge chairs, not letting a hair slip between their bodies. Jiwoo sat on the balcony, her legs dangling over the edge. A strong Sooyoung held her steady from behind. Vivi and Haseul stood in the middle, leaning on their elbows, having nothing else to watch now that the sun had gone down and the ground level was not safe for their parental eyes.

“Our little girl’s growing up,” Vivi squeezed Haseul’s hand, a tender expression on her face.

Sooyoung and Jiwoo chuckled. This afternoon, they had found out the two of them had adopted Heejin. Once they got alone time with the queens, they’d tease about the musician and physician’s too-good-to-be-true set up endlessly.

“Yeah, she is,” Haseul squeezed back, mirroring a look of warmth to her on-paper wife.

It then hit all of the parents that Heejin might not be the only one to leave the nest. Once the markets were back in swing, Yeojin and Yerim would be going down to the village more. Inspired by Heejin, they could find their passions and that could be their ticket out of the castle too. Once the ground thawed, Hyunjin and Hyejoo would be out on missions. For the Ha parents, Hyejoo would be away from home for more than her usual days a month. Once the council would notice their calendars, Chaewon would be asked to pick a spouse. For the Jung parents, the clock was ticking way too loud.

(Maybe they should dig up the arranged marriage petition they drafted years ago.)

And once this year came to an end, they’d have to return to their regular lives. School would be in session. Trade lines would reopen. Animals would come out of hibernation.

Jinsol would receive her next assignment out.

“Are you alright my love? You’re shivering,” Jinsol wrapped her arms tighter around Jungeun.

Jungeun nodded into Jinsol’s neck - the other adults looking sadly at the image, wondering what it was like to be in their position. Jiwoo didn’t have to worry about Sooyoung leaving for weeks on end anymore. Vivi and Haseul were gone for a whole day at most.

They’d have to let Heejin go. And Hyunjin. And Yerim. And Yeojin. And Hyejoo. And Chaewon. But Jungeun wished she could stop time and hold onto Jinsol just a little bit longer.

For she was scared that once Jinsol mounted her horse and rode off, she’d go back to her old self and she didn’t know if she was strong enough to become that person again.

  


**NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: NEXT NEW MOON**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q (ourtuneisohigh): 2JIN NATION, THANKS FOR BEING SO PATIENT. Blame Hyunjin on this one. We hope the wait was worth it. (The 2jin confession made N cry. Shhhhh. Don't tell them I'm exposing them.) We have two-three more chapter(s) before a time jump occurs so buckle up because knight!Jinsol is about to come back. (IMPORTANT NOTE: <strike>Hyunjin's auction date here is based on a certain someone in the k-idol community. The incident involving her and her ex (?) on instagram occured after this chapter was written and we in no way encourage baiting or shaming her for what happened to her there. Nor do I believe domestic abuse is justified punishment for her rumor spreading.)</strike> **(EDIT 1/24/2020 - Hyunjin's date has been changed to Yujin)** That aside, I hope you all are having a great 2020 and are saving up your votes for Loona. We're gonna get them that win. Also, check out N's [map of the kingdoms](https://twitter.com/_LazyNinja_/status/1211502196040372224?s=20) on their twitter. I love them for making this. [Twitter](https://twitter.com/0TlSH)
> 
> N (LazyNinja): This update is one of my personal faves. Hope you enjoyed it, finally some progress for our 2jin and seeing parents ViSeul. Melting my heart at the family dynamics. I put in hard work trying to build the lore and the families, if you’d like to see more about the families or map of the Kingdoms check out my Twitter. Thanks for your comments, take care of yourself, stay hydrated and see you next new moon. [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_LazyNinja_) | [CC](https://curiouscat.me/_LazyNinja_)


	13. Into the New Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Format as follows:**
> 
> _Italics: Past_  
  
Straight (but really gay): Present  

> 
> ****  


“You’re really not going to call me ‘Auntie’ just once before you go?” Yeojin cheesed.

“No,” Heejin deadpanned, making her way down the castle steps to her awaiting carriage.

Minho tipped his helmet to the Jung castlehold as he took his place at the driver’s seat with his apprentice Jaehyun. He would’ve taken Yeojin as it was time for her to submit for knight candidacy but Jungeun was insistent on keeping the family together for much longer.

One goodbye to one person was enough to get the waterworks going.

The castlehold sobbed waking up.

The castlehold sobbed at breakfast.

The castlehold sobbed packing the carriage.

Minho wished he could stuff portable pods in his ears that played music to block out the weeping and gasping and hyperventilating. Counting the people outside - a habit of every knight - he counted eleven bodies, knowing who was missing. There were stories of the seneschal’s feelings towards the head chef but now seeing how the knight couldn’t bear a tearful goodbye - a habit of every knight - Minho validated them. But he’d silence his other knights once the rumors started up again. 

Heejin was currently being strangled by Jiwoo with Sooyoung trying to pry her off the ex-head chef.

Jungeun and Jinsol didn’t fare any better.

Hyejoo and Chaewon had to take one leg each to get Yerim to let go.

“I guess this is it,” Heejin proclaimed with less enthusiasm at each word, facing the two women who meant so much to her.

(Just as much as the woman she left sleeping in the stable this morning.)

Haseul muted her whimpers into the back of Vivi’s neck as they both faced their adoptive daughter. Since Heejin spent the night elsewhere - everyone knew where but didn’t comment on it - Haseul and Vivi spent the night crying their eyes out in each other’s arms. Intimacy aside, it was a somber moment for the “married” couple.

“I believe it is,” Vivi lifted her head high, not wanting to give Heejin any reason to doubt this change in her life.

“I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done. Not just helping me out in the kitchen and fixing so many meals that could’ve poisoned the royal family.”

Jinsol and Jungeun shot each other a worried look.

“But also for being amazing teachers and amazing mothers.”

That did it.

But it wasn’t Haseul who broke.

Sooyoung and Jinsol awkwardly patted their wives’ backs as Jungeun and Jiwoo wailed loudly, scaring the birds that were just greeting the sunrise. The younger residents stepped to the side, not wanting to be associated with the drama of it all.

“I’m really going to miss you,” Heejin tasted the tears streaming down as Vivi and Haseul brought her into a tight hug.

Before long, all of the residents joined into the group hug, smothering Heejin until she was gasping for air. With another go-around of goodbyes - Yeojin begging on her knees for Heejin to call her auntie once with a swift whack to the back of the head from Vivi - Heejin was off.

They all continued waving until the Jung carriage was just a speck in their eyes and the last of Heejin’s presence was in their memory.

\---

_Hyunjin knew one day she’d have to say goodbye to her parents._

_She never thought it would have to be both simultaneously in such gruesome circumstances. The blood dripping down her face from the gash she got from skidding on the ground after leaping off her horse was being washed away by the waterfall of tears she was supplying._

_Holding her mother and father dear in her arms, she prayed for a miracle to happen._

_A rustle._

_A whimper._

_Hyunjin’s keen sense of hearing picked up the sound from a few meters away._

_Untying her father’s sword from his harness, she unsheathed the heavy instrument, hoping all those training sessions with her parents and the queen would be put to good use here. A practice dummy and a sack of flour were nothing like the real thing._

_‘Thing’ meaning an enemy of the kingdom._

_Whether it be human or supernatural._

_A howl entered Hyunjin’s ears, making her hold the sword closer to her body._

_The young candidate prayed she’d have the strength to defend herself so she could take her parents’ bodies safely back to the kingdom’s cemetery._

_Little did she know, she possessed the strength since birth and only needed the right trigger to unleash it._

\---

Vivi loudly tore open the sliding door to the stables, letting the sunlight wake up the inhabitants: Eighteen horses and one knight of wolf descent.

Hyunjin groaned in her sleep, spitting out the stray hay that stuck to her mouth. Opening her eyes and being greeted with multiple bales of hay, rather than the back of Yerim’s head, she quickly got up, making sure her weapon was in sight. Her vision adjusted and she breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn’t captured. Well, not anymore.

The one who captured her heart was kilometers away to her new home by now.

Heejin and Hyunjin woke up in each other’s arms, Heejin wanting to at least help Sooyoung with setting the table for breakfast. She told Hyunjin to fall back asleep, brushing her hair back until the knight was back into dreamland. They had shared more than enough to suffice for a goodbye away from prying eyes.

(Which really meant away from Yerim, Yeojin, and Chaewon who knew were preparing their taunts once Hyunjin showed her face to them.)

Straightening her clothes, Hyunjin looked down at who opened the stable door to see a very amused physician with her arms crossed. She didn’t know if she would rather take on all members of the reckless youth squad or Heejin’s adoptive mother.

“Um, good morning?” Hyunjin croaked.

“Sleep well Knight Hyunjin?” Vivi teased, the smile never leaving her face.

Hyunjin was reminded of a smile never leaving Heejin’s face as her eyes drifted down. One day, she hoped to be as brave as Heejin who was all smiles as she combed through her hair to get her back to sleep, even if Hyunjin could hear her heart pumping, Heejin forced a happy expression on her face during their last moments together.

Hyunjin plopped herself on the edge of the attic rafter, her legs kicking innocently. Technically Hyunjin had kissed Vivi’s daughter. And sometimes the physician was scary.

Vivi chuckled, enjoying the power she had over the seneschal.

(Vivi had power over everyone in the castle. Queens and princesses included.)

“Since Sir Minho is out, I need an escort to the market today.”

Hyunjin collected her things, taking the blanket and pillow Heejin and her shared for the night, hiding out in the stables and sleeping in their day clothes to avoid the teasing the younger ones would do, and looked outside to make sure no one was looking in. Vivi did too for good measure. In front of the only nonfamilial member that knew of her identity, Hyunjin jumped down to the bottom floor, catching herself flawlessly with her wolf reflexes.

(Even if she did break something, she’d heal fast.)

Vivi took the sleeping gear from the young knight as they walked out, treating this mournful day as normally as they could.

\---

_Taking a deep breath, Hyunjin softly laid her mother down onto the cold, hard ground, snapping her shredded cloak in place. She steadied herself with her father’s sword, standing up on shaky legs. She silenced her groans in case whatever animal behind the bush sensed her presence. _

_Limping her way off the roadway, she saw a hunched animal gnawing on a piece of cloth._

_Even in the moonlight, she could see it was a cloth made of the finest fabrics._

_One only a dignitarian could afford like a queen or a head knight or a head knight’s spouse._

_It was what was left of her mother’s blanket._

_Hyunjin’s breathing grew shallow and her vision went red. Her heart accelerated at a rate she wasn’t comfortable with and she stumbled forward, catching herself with her father’s sword, stabbing the dirt with such force, it stuck to the ground._

_The bloodied wolf looked up and snapped at her._

_If Hyunjin was thinking, she’d wonder why the wolf was by its lonesome, far from its pack. If Hyunjin was sympathetic, she’d see how badly injured the wolf was. If Hyunjin was observant, she’d see that the slices on the wolf’s body matched the blades from a Kim kingdom’s knight’s sword. Specifically Sooyoung’s sword._

_She grew up learning that she was descendant from these creatures but seeing one up close, she couldn’t feel a connection._

_She was able to feel when her mother was exhausted, when her father grieving, when her sister was excited._

_(The last wasn’t hard. Yerim got excited when their carriage went down a steep hill.)_

_But looking into its ruby beady eyes, she felt nothing._

_Not when a piece of her mother’s blanket was dangling from its fangs._

_Baring her own teeth, Hyunjin ripped the sword from the dirt and lunged forward._

\---

Vivi hummed to herself as she greeted the merchants, making sure to pay more money than usual to Jiwoo’s replacement at the produce stand per Jiwoo’s request.

Hyunjin was absentmindedly dawdling behind her, tipping her head to her fans and high-fiving the kids learning the trade beside their parents now that school was out. Stuck in a cycle of taking after the family job.

Much like her.

No, she loved her job.

It gave her security and safety. It gave Yerim a home - forgetting the fact that Yerim was far past the age to decide for herself. It gave her a way to visit the Kim kingdom one day. Not that she was going to visit any time soon. Nope.

The usually agile seneschal bumped into a crate of-

“MY CABBAGES!”

-and quickly cleaned up before the merchant pulled their hair out. Hyunjin tipped them well before carrying on her way. She was unfamiliar with this area of the market but Vivi was sure of herself.

And she trusted Vivi the most out of all the adults in the castle.

As Vivi stocked her grocery bag with vials and bottles of multi-colored concoctions, paying a hefty amount to the wizened cashier, Hyunjin cocked her head to the side.

“What are these for, Aunt Vivi?”

She was out of the loop about the newest trends and fads, eating whatever her fork could stab, wearing whatever Yerim filled their closets with. There were stories of witches brewing magical potions but when Vivi once gave a pharmaceutical class, explaining how most of the “secret potions” she gave them was made up of everyday ingredients, Hyunjin and the rest of her generation ignored the stories.

But there was something about the thick viscosity and double corking of the vials that worried her.

They didn’t seem friendly to the stomach.

They also didn’t seem friendly to her nose, a burning sensation starting as she got a strong whiff of them.

(Unlucky for her, her wolf smell was strong as the citizens around them were unfazed.)

“We’re going to cheer the castle up after Heejin’s departure,” Vivi beamed.

\---

_Hyunjin felt her world go dark as she was slammed against a tree._

_Why was her father’s sword in her hand?_

_“HYUNJIN, STOP! Oh dear, this is why they should’ve trained you harder! Hyunjin, are you still there?”_

_And why was it covered in blood?_

_As her vision returned, she saw bits and pieces of a rug laid across the ground. Squinting, it was dotted a distasteful burgundy and white. A pungent must permeated the air around them._

_“Hyunjin! Come on! You can’t be like this in front of Queen Jinsol!”_

_Hyunjin focused on the person who was clinging onto her shoulders for dear life, ready to toss them away for holding her against her will. A shiny pendant was held in front of her but it did nothing to restrain her._

_Looking at the carnage, she could restrain herself._

_Was she the reason why a wolf’s limbs were scattered around them?_

_But how could a knight candidate like her create something like this?_

_Her captor tried to get her to meet her eyes but to no avail - at last Hyunjin wasn’t hacking away like how she caught her. Vivi couldn’t even recognize it as Hyunjin as she’s never seen her so violent before. She tucked the silver necklace back into her blouse, brainstorming other ways to get Hyunjin to settle down._

_With her parents gone, gasping at their dead bodies on the side of the road, Vivi needed to further her research to keep Hyunjin’s (and Yerim’s) identity safe._

_It was just them now._

_Vivi looked up and saw that Hyunjin wanted to cry. She could see leftover tear stains from before, saddened that the girl had to find her parents in this condition and not hear about it from a messenger._

_But she wasn’t crying just because she was grieving her parents._

_She was grieving her own identity now too. Vivi warned Hyunjin about Jinsol approaching and they limped back to the dead knights. Hyunjin learned the hard way that this was why they had to keep their wolf lineage a secret._

\---

A stack of contracts lay in the middle of Jinsol’s office as the queens got to work on skimming through them and blessing them with their signature. Jungeun and Jinsol could only allot an hour to get over Heejin’s departure. Trying to get these initiatives out before the New Years’ Ball, they sat comfortably next to each other on the couch, sneaking in a kiss every few paragraphs.

But a kiss could never stay one kiss when they were in private quarters. Pushing her handsy wife off of her, Jungeun sat them up so they could be productive.

“What has gotten into you?” Jungeun smiled.

“Nothing. I just love being with you,” Jinsol did her best puppy dog eyes that earned her another kiss.

Sighing dreamily, they got back to work until half of the stack was completed. They would definitely be finished before lunch at their pace. Jungeun looked at the remaining stack; it was visibly smaller than when she saw it days ago.

“Sweetheart?”

“Mmmm-hmmm?” Jinsol scrawled away, before stamping the bottom with enough force to shake the room.

“Were these all the contracts for this season?”

“Nope. I finished a few when you went on strolls with Jiwoo and Vivi. I had Chaewon read through them and summarize them. She said it wasn’t her idea of bonding but I’m working on it.” 

Jungeun recalled watching Jinsol nose dive onto Chaewon’s bed to wake her up this morning which almost turned into a full-out wrestlemania if she didn’t clear her throat in the doorway. Jinsol was catching up on time she missed with Chaewon too.

And it would’ve been sweet if-

“I wanted to cut a trip out of my schedule and got Minho to deliver them on the way.”

As innocent as Jinsol’s statement was, Jungeun couldn’t help but feel a heaviness in her stomach.

Returning to their work, Jinsol scrunched up her face at something she read, ignoring the drop in Jungeun’s face. Jungeun would’ve kissed the wrinkles away but she was in a stupor.

Jinsol promised to cut down her trips, and weeks ago, Jungeun was brimming with joy. Jinsol being home was doing wonders for their romantic lives and their time with their daughter - even if Chaewon would rather gallivant with her new friend Hyejoo. Jungeun had wanted to tell Jinsol everything that happened to her since then in all its ugly glory but that would get Jinsol to stay longer. Isn’t that what she wanted?

Jinsol needed more time away from work. Jinsol was more relaxed. Jinsol needed this.

(“You don’t want to know what my self wants. It’s not pretty. It’s almost selfish.”)

That’s what Jinsol said herself.

This vacation was for her benefit. A way to reinvent herself to become a better queen, a better wife, a better mother, and a better person.

Feeling Jinsol kiss her cheek before moving onto the next contract, Jungeun couldn’t shake away the feeling that Jinsol might’ve made the wrong decision.

\---

_Hyunjin adjusted the bandage on her head, wondering why the numbing pain wasn’t lulling her to sleep. She wanted to stay alert so she didn’t drop a sleeping Yerim in her arms._

_(Vivi worriedly looked over knowing Hyunjin would be healed now. Her wound was almost closed before she bandaged her up, but thankfully Jinsol didn’t notice.)_

_Per protocol, the knights inspected all the castle rooms after the attack, not leaving a breathing or living wolf in its midst. Hyunjin had read all about this but she didn’t think she’d have to live through it._

_Hyunjin ignored Vivi boring her eyes through her but knowing now is not the time to talk about what Vivi witnessed in the woods. Thankfully, she had snapped out of it in time before Jinsol rode in, frantic and anguished at the sight of her best knights slain on the side of the road, doing what Vivi suggested and cradled her limp mother in her arms. She didn’t have time to think about her actions as a second wave of grief hit her hard._

_They salvaged what parts of the carriage they could and burned the rest along with the pieces of the wolf. Jinsol, Hyunjin, and Vivi rode back by themselves. A group of knights awaiting a carriage to take Hyunjin’s parents back. They’d have to fend off any wolves coming back to recapture one of their tribe._

_She hoped she helped, getting rid of one wolf to make the knights’ jobs easier._

_She was sure she’d get an earful from Yerim if she knew what she did. The little girl always hated it when her parents came home with another kill on their count, being one of the few that advocated for animal rights._

_But she wasn’t fighting an animal like her and Yerim._

_She was fighting a murderer._

_Her parents’ murderer to be exact._

_Now that her head was cleared up, she couldn’t fathom your pack leaving you behind to fend for your own life. Knights were always taught to stick together unless the knight relinquished their status to make the cavalry move on. But if the wolf did that, it would mean that it would have compassion._

_But wolves shouldn’t have compassion? Or any emotion on the spectrum?_

_It was a beast._

_She was an evolved version of it, gaining human empathy to not only fit in but get rid of their beastly ways. They were better than them._

_At least that’s what their parents said._

_And she’d hold onto that belief because that’s all she had left of them._

\---

Chaewon didn’t shy away from taking over her mother’s throne, the lush red velvet spreading as she sat down. Dangling one leg over the arms of the chair, she was not the picture perfect image of a queen but who would judge her?

(Only her parents would and they were two floors away.)

Yeojin took up the other throne, her small body engulfed by blue velvet. She criss-crossed her legs, putting her feet on the cushion that cost more than her month’s paycheck. But who would judge her?

(Only her sister would and she was somewhere in the other twenty-something rooms in the castle.)

That left Hyejoo and Yerim on the steps in front of them.

Even sitting at a disadvantageous spot, it didn’t hinder their aim as they tossed the glass orb between the four of them. They borrowed the delicate ball from one of the royal staffs. “Borrowed” as in “broke it off by slamming the door open upon entry into the courtroom and knocking over the royal staff stands.” 

Might as well enjoy it while it was broken.

They were fifty tosses in with no one dropping it.

Hyejoo and Yerim would attribute their skills to their animal reflexes but Yeojin and Chaewon didn’t need to know that. They didn’t need each other to know that either.

(Even if it would help them feel less alone.)

“So, Heejin and Hyunjin?” Yeojin changed topics, faking Yerim out by throwing it to Chaewon.

“Told you it would happen.” Chaewon caught it flawlessly. (If not, Hyejoo would’ve reached over. Thankfully, that didn’t need to happen and her animal identity was safe yet again.)

“No you didn’t. You gave up on them when Yujin entered the picture,” Yerim rebutted, knowing Chaewon wouldn’t admonish her for speaking against the princess.

“Who’s Yujin?” Hyejoo pitched it to Yeojin who screamed at the fast ball but caught it nonetheless on her lap.

“A devil.”

“A gremlin.”

“A loonatic.”

From what Hyejoo had heard, Yujin had won Hyunjin at a knight auction. The woman came from a prestigious family and shared mannerisms classes with Chaewon as a child. After charming her way to Hyunjin’s heart, crushed it and dumped her on the side of the road.

Literally.

It was Chaewon’s carriage from a shopping trip from the Shin kingdom that picked up the hitchhiking knight.

(Yerim knew Hyunjin could’ve sprinted back to the castle but the wretched woman must’ve done a number on her sister to make her choose to move at a human pace.)

Luckily for them, she moved onto her next victim.

And Hyunjin had moved on, even if it lasted for a night. The girls were secretly rooting for Hyunjin and Heejin to realize their feelings - even Hyejoo who unfortunately witnessed their first kiss while locking the front door.

“So who’s the next one of us to fall in love?”

“HAH! You think someone will fall for you?”

“You know what, I don’t need your negativity in my life.”

“Neither does anyone else. That’s why no one loves you.”

When Yeojin pulled a knife from her belt - why she carried one wherever she went, they didn’t ask - the game of catch was forgotten. Maybe they took it too far.

“Yeojin, what in heaven’s name are you doing?”

“Let’s make a pact.”

They wouldn’t deny that Heejin leaving them had left a hole in their group. If she was there, she would’ve sat where Hyejoo was. But now, she would’ve pulled up a chair and sat facing them at the bottom of the stairs in case the ball bounced too far for the handmaiden and knight to catch. Heejin treasured them as a group, no matter how many of them were in it, never stressing her own importance over others.

Yeojin was acting in fear that Heejin’s egress would cause a domino effect of people leaving one by one. It was precautionary in theory, no matter how dramatic.

“What? Never fall in love?”

“Easy for me, I rarely leave the castle.”

Hyejoo was impressed at Yerim’s stance. Usually people fantasized of falling in love and Yerim was someone she was learning, who had a lot of love in her heart for her friends and family. Whoever would have Yerim’s hand would be adored to no end. But maybe romantic and platonic love were different for her.

“Are you asexual, Yerim? Why don’t you try courting?”

“That’s like saying everyone who hasn’t matched up is asexual. Or you have to court to know if you are. Your argument holds no validity,” Chaewon made sure to close her hand in front of their faces for dramatic effect.

Hyejoo still had a lot to learn.

“Well you do like purple. Ace color right there.”

“Yeojin, shut your mouth!”

“And you like green. Does that make you Piccolo?”

“Hey, I taught you that reference!”

“Yeojin, stop reading Heejin’s books!”

“She’s not even here anymore!”

A lot to learn.

“Okay let Yerim figure it out on her own terms. At least you have time. I’ll be arranged.”

In the few weeks she’s known Chaewon, Hyejoo would recognize a genuine smile when she saw one. The princess was known for her under-the-table comments and could force a smile like no other.

Just like the one she was wearing now.

Maybe there still lots to the princess she needed to learn too.

“Well, we can’t let it stop us from leaving the castle. Whoever we fall for, we bring them to this castle.”

What Yeojin was suggesting lacked authentication since they had no intention of dating. Before the girls could figure out what she was up to, the squire took the blade in her palm, slicing downward.

Yeojin perceived the act of brotherhood and lifelong promises to be so cool when she saw knights doing it over campfires in the courtyard. She had always wanted to try it.

…

…

…

…

…

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT HURTS!”

\---

_She was going to have that deducted from her stipend._

_The flour spilled onto the kitchen floor as Hyunjin looked at her powdered fist. She was just messing around and drumming on random surfaces but needing a louder symbol meant using all her strength - human and animal - and possibly ruining Heejin’s meal prep._

_Trying to patch the hole with rice - rice fixes everything - the bag was still deflating before her eyes._

_That is until Jinsol strolled in from training for her first mission and flipped the bag so the hole was facing the ceiling. Hyunjin fought a grin. Jinsol was doing everything she could to show off her new strength and it was endearing._

_(Last night, she attempted to carry Jungeun and Chaewon simultaneously to bed. They made it past the first staircase until the entire Jung family crumbled to the floor with a resonant thud.)_

_“You need to take a break Hyunjin. Minho says breaks are necessary for muscle development,” Jinsol flexed under her expensive blouse, stopping when she heard a slight tear._

_Clothes that were meant to be worn sitting pretty on a throne, not lugging around empty barrels in the yard._

_“I was just playing around Aunt Jinsol,” the newly appointed seneschal answered sheepishly._

_“Oh...well,” Jinsol motioned to the dusty floor. “Don’t do that.”_

_Sweeping up the mess, Hyunjin cast a worried look at Jinsol. The queen was adamant in joining their quest to the new dens the Choi kingdom found. She wouldn’t underestimate anyone - she used to underestimate her own skills - but if Jinsol performed well, would that put Hyunjin on the chopping block?_

_Again?_

_She had guesses as to why Jinsol was donning this new persona. Jungeun’s condition hadn’t gotten any better. A visiting doctor, from whatever kingdom she couldn’t care less of, disregarded all of Vivi’s diagnosis. The way he described Jungeun was impious. Saying her condition wouldn’t get any better and she’d be better off in an asylum._

_(“It’s quite sad actually for a queen to be undergoing this.”_

_“What’s sad is your lack of compassion,” Vivi retorted before escorting him to his carriage.)_

_And that was the end of the visiting doctor tour to the Jung castle. Any guest medical professionals talked to Vivi and Vivi only._

_Jinsol was only doing what Hyunjin was doing for her own family: Providing for them and making the world a better place. Which Hyunjin thought Jinsol was already doing behind her desk. But the thirst for revenge couldn’t be satisfied with a quill and scroll._

_“I’ve been working on my peripherals. I can see you frowning. What’s bothering you Hyunjin?”_

_(But it wasn’t until the Has return when Jinsol and Hyunjin would learn their overprotectiveness had only fed their loved ones’ fear more. Yerim and Chaewon turned out fine, Jungeun had a lot to learn about herself.)_

_“Nothing, Your Majesty. Nothing at all.”_

_It would be another one of the many secrets Hyunjin held from Jinsol._

\---

Usually when people knocked on her door in the afternoon when Vivi was catching up on charting, she could guess who it was.

Either Jinsol with another hidden injury.

Or Jungeun wanting accompaniment for strolling the gardens.

Or (when she still lived there), Heejin putting too many ingredients in the pot, turning their kitchen to a water park.

Or Yerim wanting someone to play cat’s cradle with.

Or Yeojin starving for another slight of hand trick.

Or Chaewon asking if she could curse warts on someone.

Or Haseul asking if she needed help with anything and everything.

Before she could take a wild guess, someone’s ungodly screams were penetrating her otherwise soundproof door. Putting away her charts - tracking the spread of influenza in the village - Vivi opened the door with a sigh. Outside, an exasperated Hyejoo was carrying a bleeding Yeojin bridal style. The squire was scrunching her face up enough to hide all her features and blood dripped from her rice-covered hand.

(_“DIP HER HAND IN RICE!” Yerim suggested._

_“WHAT?!” Hyejoo asked, trying not to laugh at the situation. After Yeojin sliced her hand open, they needed to find a way to stop the bleeding._

_“RICE FIXES EVERYTHING!”_

_Yeojin only screamed harder as the hardened grain irritated the cut and the girls had to find a way to discard the blood soaked rice before someone saw them._)

Chaewon and Yerim stood beside Hyejoo, one holding a glass ball - where did they get that? - and a bloodied knife - where did they also get that?

Taking them into her quarters, hoping none of the other adults witnessed them, Vivi told Hyejoo to put Yeojin on her bed. Hyejoo threw her with Yerim screaming and following Yeojin to see if she was okay.

“You see what had happened was…”

“Trust me Chaewon, I don’t want to know.”

Vivi was less protective than the other grown-ups but that’s not to say she didn’t form a migraine any time her students did something reckless. The physician moved to her desk, shoving the vials from the market to make room for her surgical equipment.

At least it was only Yeojin injured this time. 

Without Heejin’s brightly colored possessions littering the room, the girls were immediately drawn to the brightly colored vials the physician pushed aside.

“Aunt Vivi?” Yerim perked up, stomaching Yeojin cutting off all circulation on her arm.

“Yes?”

“Are those...” The handmaiden closed her eyes, thinking of the proper word. It’s been a while since those things were inside castle walls.

One had to handle the unbottling of the vials with care or their hands would be forever stained.

Which is why Vivi always did the procedure for them.

(Minus the one time the girls did it on Chaewon that no one in the castle knows about.)

Vivi uncorked a different bottle and Yeojin yelped knowing what it would be used for. She couldn’t even drink that stuff yet and now it would have to be poured over her hand to “sterilize” it.

Taking a healthy swig herself - Vivi needed it more than Yeojin since the girl was always a difficult patient - Vivi asked the girls to move to the side, making her way over with her suture supplies.

“No, no, please! I’ll do anything! Not the needle!”

Yeojin desperately grabbed onto one of the other people in the room but they had already moved onto the colorful vials, explaining to Hyejoo what the contents were used for, leaving Yeojin to reflect about her actions.

—

_Like traveling physicians, a lengthy list of careers also did their business on-the-go. Tradespeople and entertainers hopped town to town to showcase their talents and skills. Vivi went to town when the hospitals were short staffed and to remedy those that couldn’t be cured with simpleton knowledge._

_It was more common sense than anything but Vivi didn’t mind the ego boost._

_She was welcomed where needed and forgotten when her work was done._

_(Like all witches actually.)_

_Estheticians also were welcomed and scurried out the door when their contract was up - often after village events and grand parties. One such visiting beautician hailed from an island kingdom, a thick accent in her wake, but it didn’t deter those who wanted to fix their appearance, brushing off their prejudice for their self-gain. Rumor had it that she was a successful musical artist as well but she hadn't released anything new in decades._

_Jinsol and Hyunjin didn’t struggle with any internal moral compass as they respected people of all backgrounds._

_Approaching the traveler, they greeted her._

_Hyunjin and Jinsol's mission was plain and simple: find a cream to rid of Junguen’s scars._

_They’d tried everything from balms to essential oils to even submerging the queen in rice because rice fixes everything. Jinsol said she didn’t mind the scars - even if they made her queasy when she thought about how they got there. But Jungeun believed that getting rid of all physical evidence of the attack would rid her of her illness._

_The knight and queen could only hope._

_“And what might you be looking for?” Robyn yelled over the crowd before her booth._

_“Oh nothing,” Jinsol fired back, not wanting to put her wife’s business out there._

_“Looking hard for someone looking for nothing.”_

_Hyunjin waited for the queen’s move at the merchant’s blunt answer. The shopping trip was Jinsol’s idea and she wasn’t shy of arresting someone even if Robyn was quite the beauty. Like diamonds in the sky._

_“You don’t happen to have something for wolf scars, do you Madam Fenty?”_

_“I have stuff for blemishes. If the scars are too deep, they’re there for a long time.”_

_Jinsol didn’t want to believe that. Jinsol didn’t want Jungeun to believe that either. Her scars would recover. She would recover._

_A clean slate._

_The only way she can move on._

_(Hyunjin wasn’t sure if Jinsol was doing this for her, for Jungeun, or for them both.)_

_“Hyunjin, cut me.”_

_Hyunjin looked up incredulously. Not only did the queen ask for her to commit bodily harm to her but to do in front of all these people. She was still regaining her reputation since that night in the bar with Haseul._

_“Your Majesty, I’m not going to—”_

_“Don’t be a chicken.”_

_(Actually, I’m a wolf.)_

_“I’m not going to cut you, Your Majesty.”_

_“But that’s how we’ll know we’re buying the right product.”_

_Robyn was ignoring the throng of people crowding around her and her tent and watching in glee. It wasn’t every day a queen visited her and one that squabbled with her knight. If she had popcorn, she would be munching on it right now._

_Jinsol quickly reached for her own dagger but Hyunjin was quick - something that she hoped to be one day - and put the blade towards her own palm. She made enough knight promises for this not to sting as she felt her skin cut open._

_And she healed fast._

_This would skew the results of Jinsol’s incredulous experiment but anything to help the kingdom._

—

“Hyunjin! Just the person I wanted to see.”

Towel draped over her shoulders from her bath and one towel around her body, Hyunjin stopped in the corridor to see a very determined blonde barrel her way towards her. Jinsol had usually been a slow talker and slow walker, meticulous with her words and decisions, but a certain Jungeun was lonely and she didn’t want to keep her waiting.

(Hyunjin would agree with anyone who would admit aloud that this obsession to be next to each other wasn’t healthy. But no one would say it aloud. Maybe Chaewon. But no one dare ask her to call out her mothers.)

“I have correspondence for the Im kingdom. I trust Hyejoo and you will deliver it promptly.”

Jinsol wasn’t asking. Hyunjin wasn’t saying no either. In the short time it took for them to digest Heejin’s absence, it was time to return to work.

But when was Jinsol going to do so?

The young seneschal was sure the queen hadn’t touched any official documents since she sliced up Seola or whatever Hyejoo’s mother’s name was. Jinsol was finding herself but she was also losing a very important part of her. A part of her that kept the kingdom together and the citizens sane.

(Again, another inquiry Hyunjin would never admit aloud.)

Jinsol felt the envelopes slip out of her fingers and couldn’t help but feel a sense of sadness seeing it go.

She missed catching up with her fellow royals but she needed to make it up to Jungeun. People were treating this like she was having an early retirement. When Minho was given the task to escort Heejin to her old stomping grounds, people expected she would join too.

She always had business to attend to. Meetings to sit it on, council members to greet, parties to attend. A part of the queen missed that but she knew that out of all the options available she would pick Jungeun.

Jungeun over everything.

She would stick to that decision.

And from the many times they were together - this being the only time of the day they were apart - Jungeun was recovering. No attacks, no tears, no nightmares, no shortness of breath. Jinsol didn’t think she’d be Jungeun’s saving grace - Vivi said no one could be - but her presence was surely helping.

Couldn’t they see that she was only making up for lost time?

(Plus retiring early meant Chaewon would have to assume the throne and that would push for choosing a suitor and Jinsol (and Jungeun) would prefer not to think about that path right now.)

Before they could continue this conversation, Hyunjin had pointed to her soiled clothes in her other hand, signalling that she needed to freshen up before supper.

Jinsol agreed and made her way to her wife.

Quickly.

No time to waste.

Lest her recuperation go down the drain.

—

_The fire dwindled until they were tiny red dots sprinkling the ashy ground. Neither of the fireside attendees could feel the difference in temperature._

_They ran naturally warm._

_They were heating up underneath their many layers of clothing but it was still too soon to reveal anything. The conversation had made its way back to the pros and cons of knighthood and they kept at it, having too much energy to sleep._

_Hyejoo was still excited about her first mission - even if they found nothing spectacular besides a dead horse to eat. Hyunjin was antsy taking a rookie - even if she knew Hyejoo could handle herself._

_“Wait, wait, wait, princesses don’t have to marry someone royal?” Hyejoo didn’t know why she was thrilled about that revelation._

_(It’s okay Hyejoo. Take your time.)_

_“I mean it’s never been done before but there’s nothing that says they can’t. It’s just that they’ve only been arranged to other royals. They could be arranged to other people now, well those of high upbringing and status, that was the last update to the laws I saw.”_

_“I’d rather they not be arranged at all.”_

_Hyunjin wasn’t sure she heard right._

_Hyejoo wasn’t a royal. Far from it. Even if she got the head knight position, she would be a rung under the ladder. People pretended royals were at the top but knights knew many of their decisions were puppeteered by the high councils that hid behind closed doors and gates. And any time mistakes were made, royals were the poster child of blame._

_So why was the rookie sympathizing with them?_

_“It’s just...it seems that villagers have more rights than they do. At least when it comes to marital affairs, we get to choose. You get to choose.”_

_(Last time Hyunjin chose someone - well technically had to choose as she was bought - she got her heart torn to pieces.)_

_“Royals should get to choose too.”_

_Hyunjin never thought much about that aspect of the monarchy. She never witnessed an arranged marriage. But all of the royals’ children were getting of age and it’d be time for the draw._

_Another thing that happened behind closed doors: the royal children being moved around like chess pieces._

_Seeing how she was now working alongside a wolf, not a descendant of wolves, Hyunjin didn’t realize her perspective had changed. Her superiority complex had blinded her to think her family was better than newborn wolves because her family assimilated. But Hyejoo was not much different than those that she mangled and beheaded._

_She was better trained. Had better judgment. And from this conversation alone, a better sense of morality than most knights._

_Maybe it was time for some change around here._

—-

Haseul wanted to ask Sooyoung if she needed any assistance with dinner but it’s not like she could do anything when four heads were in the sink. Their heads were covered with a tight fabric, up to their hairline, but their faces were apparent.

She’d recognize these runts anywhere. 

And was why one of their hands bandaged?

“Hey Aunt Teacher Haseul!” Yerim greeted, a beaming smile even if the peroxide was still burning her scalp.

A gloved and giddy Vivi was busy, dousing tepid water over their heads. Yeojin was complaining that she was last but Vivi was secretly taking out her anger of Yeojin postponing her hair dying plan with her injury.

Haseul was inspired by Jinsol’s valiant return and Hyunjin’s confession and thought it was time for her to step up to the throne. But seeing Vivi in her own hair dying getup - a loose shirt and casual pants - she lost concentration.

Now she needed an excuse as to why she was snooping around.

(Wasn’t she going to “help Sooyoung?” Her short term memory wasn’t as great when Vivi was in mind.)

Seeing the vials prepped on the counter, Haseul knew what was going on.

It was custom that whenever big changes happened, one changes their look. A haircut after a breakup. A shopping spree after a recession. An ear piercing after a sickness. Vivi preferred a less invasive and expensive method and when she told the royals about hair dyeing as a coping mechanism, everyone jumped on board. It made her stand out compared to other doctor candidates, especially when she entered the summoning interview with bright pink hair.

Which is what she was returning to now - her own scalp burning under the bleach - in honor of Heejin’s return to the Kim kingdom.

“And what colors are we choosing girls?” Haseul joined in on their fun, helping Vivi wash out their hair, seeing that Yerim was picking a very bright color as a purpleish hue washed down.

“It’s a surprise!”

Vivi knew about Chaewon’s secret hair dyeing to capture Heejin’s trading cards years ago. They weren’t smart about ridding of their vials and Vivi saw an empty black cannister when taking out the trash. Also, her choosing to change her hair color was reminiscent of another Jung years ago.

Like mother, like daughter.

“And what about you doctor?”

Vivi tongued the inside of her cheek, thinking of how she wanted to answer the question. Whenever Haseul was in a playful mood, she’d refer to her as “doctor” in private. Maybe Hyunjin’s confession the night before finally inspired a change in the court musician.

And Vivi didn’t have anyone in bed next to her anymore.

“I’m going back to my roots. The color I arrived in when interviewing with the Kims.”

All the kids were giddy as Vivi always chose the best colors. Minus Hyejoo, they’ve seen her in orange, blue, red, fuschia, periwinkle, smaragdine. Seeing a curious smile on Haseul’s face, Vivi could see that the giddiness was infectious.

“Which was...” Haseul baited, not meeting Vivi until years after she was hired when Jungeun moved to the Jung kingdom.

“You’ll see.”

Before Haseul could ask what change they were celebrating, she saw Hyejoo in Heejin’s usual place. She would never replace the girl. The girl was literally her daughter. But seeing how the kids were up to their usual antics - she still wanted to know why Yeojin was bandaged - they could move on.

And so could she.

But wasn’t hair dyeing also a signifier of a divorce?

“Don’t worry Haseul. We’re still married.” Vivi smiled before lifting another bucket.

If Haseul was carrying it, she would’ve spilled the water all over herself.

“Wait, you’re married?” Hyejoo’s question was squashed as cold water was dumped of her head.

—

_“It didn’t work, did it?”_

_When Jungeun reentered the bedroom with a frown bigger than the one she left with, Jinsol could see that the healing cream wasn’t successful._

_Another failed attempt._

_Another reminder that Jungeun’s condition was permanent._

_Jungeun was gone longer than it would take to apply it and Jinsol didn’t have to ask to know that she tried to slather the entire formula on her. She’d find an empty bottle in the bathroom._

_But the cream worked fine on Hyunjin. After she heroically sliced her hand open and underlayer patch itself up, they applied the cream hours later. The next day, the wound wasn’t even there. They had asked Yeojin if she could find a wound and she thought they were doing a magic trick on her._

_Vivi said it wasn’t magic to end the loud argument in the foyer. _

_(Hyunjin hid her gulp well. Her supernatural healing abilities might tear this family apart.)_

_Robyn was right. Some scars would never heal. One could cover them up with expensive powders and lotions but they’d still be there. And even if no one would be able to see the scars besides Jinsol and occasionally Vivi when doing a checkup, Jungeun could feel that they were there._

_She was still broken._

_But that didn’t stop Jinsol from opening her arms for Jungeun to fall into. Leading her to their unmade bed which Jungeun spent the whole day in - not sure why she was feeling lazy as a queen should never have that emotion - they cuddled into each other. Jinsol could feel the stickiness of the cream ooze through the back of Jungeun’s shirt but that didn’t stop her from rubbing her hand up the back she loved._

_Scarred of not._

_“Maybe you can find something else on your next trip.”_

_Jinsol nodded obediently, knowing she’d do anything for her wife. She was getting vulnerable by the day and maybe these trips were doing good for her. Seeing her like this was breaking her heart but she wouldn’t show it._

_Maybe Robyn had something for broken hearts._

_Jungeun inhaled sharply as she found her usual spot in the crook of Jinsol’s neck, wondering how she got so lucky to be paired up with Jinsol._

_Jinsol never slept with an escort. Coming back with facts and tidbits she picked up from conversing with them rather than taking them to bed. Jinsol never missed Chaewon’s birthday. Coming back with a gift more dangerous than the last to feed their daughter’s daredevil tendencies._

_She never stopped loving her._

_Even if she had good reason to. _

\---

The fencing piste would not be used for its intended purposes for some time. Jiwoo walked in on Sooyoung working on her moves with a steak knife while she was preparing dinner. But no fighting until next year.

Tonight, it would be a runway for the new hair colors the young ones were sporting.

Jinsol and Jungeun didn’t realize there’d been a dyeing party in the lower levels of the castles as if they weren’t cooped up all day. The queens took their seats in the middle as the other castle residents - all six of them - fanned out around them. They got a sneak preview when Vivi came to their door with highlighter pink hair, inviting them to the training room.

(Haseul was still recovering at how good Vivi looked by taking deep breaths as she set up the benches.)

“First up, we have Knight Hyejoo.”

Jiwoo and Sooyoung looked excitedly at the door’s entrance as Hyejoo cooly entered in. They never signed her up for modeling lessons but she picked up a few tricks when Sooyoung used to show off her mother’s garments. Exaggerating her sway and flipping her light brown hair, tinged with red at the bottom. Vivi accidentally used the wrong vial as she was distracted with Yeojin’s wailing about blood seeping through her bandage.

Everyone applauded.

“WHY?!” Hyejoo complained at all the attention on her.

She scurried off the piste and buried herself into her mother’s arms as Sooyoung jabbed at her daughter, one for making fun of her model walk. Two for doing something out of her element. It was only a change in appearance but they were proud of Hyejoo taking part in the antics of the children in the castle.

“Yeo—”

“AHEM!”

“Future knight Yeojin!”

Vivi mayhaps had waited a bit too long with the bleach - mad at the mess she made on her bed - damaging Yeojin’s hair in the process.

But Yeojin still looked good with her wavy, blonde locks. Unlike Hyejoo, she was basking in the attention, strutting up and down the runway multiple times.

Haseul dragged her sister off.

“OH COME ON!”

“Hush you. You still need to tell me where that cut came from. You can come in now Yerim.”

Yerim skipped down the piste with long purple hair, sending finger hearts to everyone, waving to the queens with the biggest smile. No one prepared the castle for this. Even Hyunjin’s heart jumped out of her chest.

(Yerim knew, she heard the skip in heartbeat.)

(Hyejoo thought she heard it too but she wasn’t sure where it was coming from, not having honed in that skill yet.)

“I wanted to be the Jung and Kim kingdom colors for Heejin and Aunt Jungeun. So I picked red and blue. But it ended up being purple! But I still love it!”

Everyone’s heart melted.

Including the queens who got up to give their handmaiden a hug for her statement. But at the mention of Heejin, they felt their moods drop at a reminder what brought about this runway show.

“Ace colors!” Yeojin cheered, knowing Chaewon couldn’t hit her from her spot in the hallway for joking.

It didn’t stop Hyejoo from smacking her upside the head, the sound echoing throughout the room, scaring everyone. Chaewon sent a thank-you thumbs up from her spot outside the door. 

“So what if I am Yeojin? Would it offend you if I don’t develop a crush on you?” Yerim bit back, hoping the adults knew they were just having good fun.

Yeojin closed her mouth immediately and sulked in her chair.

Yerim, as if hearing Yeojin’s heart constrict, hopped off the runway and cradled the pouting squire.

They knew they should berate their daughter’s violent actions but Sooyoung and Jiwoo wished they had popcorn. Who knew the castlehold was so entertaining?

“And last but not least…”

“Wait, I want to announce her!”

“No, I want to announce her!”

“Hyejoo, you don’t want to chip in?”

“Mom, I’m not worthy to announce to Chaewon.”

“NONSENSE! YOU’RE HER NEW FRIEND.”

“AHHH! WHY ARE YOU SO LOUD JUNGIE?”

“I’M LOUD?! HAVE YOU HEARD YOURSELF? I CAN HEAR YOU LAUGHING FROM THE THIRD FLOOR!”

“NEXT WE HAVE PRINCESS CHAEWON,” Hyunjin butted in, effectively ending the fight.

The only person around her age bracket was already safe and sound in the Kim kingdom. The kids were a few years younger but she only bonded with them through Heejin and Yerim; she only saw the older ones as coworkers and employers.

Getting ribbed by Yerim, Hyunjin shrugged, hoping she wasn’t too crass. But no scolding followed and everyone looked grateful for her interruption, knowing they shouldn’t keep the princess waiting.

With silver hair, Chaewon stepped in, getting a gasp from everyone.

Especially from her parents who’d never seen her with anything other than the signature Jung blonde.

Queens Jessica and Hyoyeon had it.

Queen Jinsol had it.

Yerim and Yeojin shared a look, flashbacking to their one adventure turning Chaewon to Gowon, dyeing her hair black temporarily for the full disguise.

Vivi had a flashback of her own when another royal had a hair dyeing adventure of her own.

Like mother, like daughter.

\---

_Chaewon was like every other baby, except her clothes were designer and her food was tested for poisoning._

_She was also quite observant._

_Any time a romantic couple was canoodling in front of her - not going more than a peck on the lips - Chaewon raised her eyebrows in silent judgement._

_Jungeun kept mum as Chaewon adopted that look of judgment from her side of the family. But to be fair, with the few times she met Queen Jessica, the Jung side had judgmental people as well._

_Chaewon raised another eyebrow as she looked at her mother Jinsol and someone beside her who looked like her mother._

_Jungeun always had darker hair, contrasting beautifully with her wife. They wondered who’s hair color Chaewon would take as a little magic - a lot actually, Vivi was still exhausted - went into her conception. _

_When dark brown strands began poking out of Chaewon’s head, Jungeun was declared the winner. But a few weeks later, the color faded. Now it was a blonde child eyeing her two mothers. One she was sure was her mother and the other a stranger._

_She was a stranger to Jinsol too._

_Jungeun had gone blonde._

_And Vivi was hurriedly cleaning up the bathroom when Jinsol was asking everyone in the castle who did this. Dyeing hair signified changes and sometimes divorce._

_‘Why did her wife want to divorce her?’ Jinsol thought._

_When Jungeun was able to catch up to her wife, she sat her down and explained. Feeling left out of the family portrait that hung in the throne room, Jungeun felt like a sore thumb. Whereas Jinsol and Chaewon matched with their toothy grins and golden manes, Jungeun’s tight-lipped smile and dark hair gave her away. But it wasn’t just the portrait. People sometimes wondered if Jungeun really was Chaewon’s other mother. She wouldn’t be the first royal born from wedlock._

_(No one was allowed to talk about any bastardized royals but they existed.)_

_“Jungeun, she’s much as yours as she is much as mine. Hair color doesn’t mean anything,” Jinsol whispered into her hair, nose shrivelling at the sharp odor from the bleach._

_Then Jinsol proceeded to list off all the things Chaewon inherited. All good things. After all, her anxiety sickness was gone. She could be wrong about some of them - “uhhhh she has your determination” - as Chaewon still hadn’t gained her full personality but Jungeun appreciated the effort._

_Chaewon fussed as Jinsol tried to hand her off to Jungeun who she couldn’t recognize but once she felt her mother’s warmth, Chaewon easily snuggled into her temporarily-blonde mother._

_“You still recognize me, little one?” Jungeun cooed._

_Chaewon nodded, yanking violently on her new playtoy: Jungeun’s blonde locks._

_“Why wouldn’t she? You’re one of a kind,” Jinsol responded, kind of glad she could easily see a blushing Jungeun through the platinum hair she tried to hide behind._

_Earning another yank and a loud lion roar from Chaewon._

_Okay, maybe she inherited her mother’s laugh too. A laugh Jinsol hoped no vial or peroxide solution would take away from her._

—

Seven knocks

Jungeun wanted to roam the castle on her own and Jinsol knew what to do in her allotted free time. Waiting for her daughter to open the door, she had wanted to see if Chaewon would like to walk off their dinner while she checked the perimeter before bed.

It was Hyejoo who opened the door instead.

“Hey Auntie Jinsol!”

“Hey you two!” Jinsol forced a smile on her face.

Every time Hyejoo was around, Chaewon always focused on her like she was the only one in the room. It was odd as Chaewon has never done that around anyone but Jinsol had to remember this wasn’t her little girl anymore.

She was an eighteen-year-old.

Taking a peek in, she saw Chaewon merely wave at her, not giving her the run-up-and-topple-mom hugs she didn’t know she missed until now. They weren’t giving each other the silent treatment but they weren’t close either. They were sort of just there together in the castle like Hyunjin and Sooyoung when left by themselves.

Jinsol hated it.

She honestly had no idea how to reconnect with Chaewon. Was her favorite color still green? Why didn’t she sit next to her at dinner? Did Minho teach her to drive a carriage yet?

All questions she wasn’t sure of approaching.

Even if Chaewon had kept mum about her mother’s breakdowns and the rumors of her mother’s rampages, she was never part of that predicament. The mother and daughter just drifted apart for no good reason besides time.

“Did you want something, Mom?”

Chaewon held her breath as her mom made no effort to enter her room. Even if Jinsol was home, she missed her dearly. 

But she was afraid to be alone with her. She didn’t think her mom would attack her with her sword but she just wasn’t sure how to bond with her anymore. Jungeun and her knew what and what not to talk about. What were they supposed to talk about? The weather? The wolf extermination plan was out of the question, knowing one misspoken phrase can make one of them feel guilty. 

But with her blonde mother, it was like getting reacquainted with a long lost relative.

Chaewon hated that.

But she wasn’t sure of how to approach it without taking away much needed time between her mothers. They needed time together more than she did with her mother, she believed.

“Chaewon, would you like to go on a stroll with me?” Jinsol fiddled with her fingers.

“Oh, I already went on one earlier with Hyejoo.” Chaewon fiddled with her hair.

Hyejoo fiddled with the doorknob as she watched the exchange.

“Oh okay. I was just checking. Good night, you two.”

The rookie knight indeed had a lot to learn.

\---

_“How was that for your first mission out as a knight, Auntie?” Hyunjin asked, taking off her helmet and dismounting her horse._

_“I didn’t get to do anything,” Jinsol replied truthfully, hoping she’d be able to at least draw her sword out for something._

_The two rode around in what Jinsol believed were circles. She had a feeling the council would not approve of her knightly escapades and had sent her on a dud mission._

_“Well not all shows have a win,” Hyunjin replied truthfully._

_She knew of knights that purposefully veered off paths, claiming they were lost, so they could still receive the benefits without the risk. She was not one of them but she did not want to see the queen, who was also her aunt, face danger. She didn’t even know if the queen could fight anything that wasn’t Minho, her, or a flour sack mannequin._

_The two well-rested knights walked up the steps to the great estate, wondering what their beloved ones were up to. Two blurs zoomed by, knocking the two off of their feet and luckily running them into the walls beneath with their backs._

_Holding onto Yerim and Jungeun tightly, the queens chuckled as the two women expressed how much they missed them into their shoulders._

_“Did you get me anything, Hyun?”_

_“Yerim, I can’t bring you back something every single time I go out.”_

_“Well, if you didn’t go out so much, I wouldn’t have to ask so much,” Yerim stuck her tongue out._

_Hyunjin rolled her eyes and tried to pry her sister off of her._

_Jinsol succumbed to the warmth that only Jungeun could provide, wondering where her daughter was. She was expecting Chaewon to be waiting as well._

_“Where’s our little girl?”_

_“She’s doing laundry but she said she’ll be down soon,” Jungeun buried herself into Jinsol, helping both of them relax for the first time since Jinsol rode off._

_“Plus, the council said you won’t be going on too many of these missions so she figured she would not have to see you off every time,” a cheery Yerim sang out, looping her fingers through Hyunjin’s chain mail._

_The experienced knight kept her lips sealed as Jinsol held in a huff._

_One day she would prove them wrong._

_And before the council could bite her tongue, she would be in the loving arms of her wife and daughter once she finished attesting her capabilities._

_(Years later.)_

—

Jiwoo’s knack of turning off lanterns when the castle was not in use was coming back as she ran around the castle to undo all of Haseul and Vivi’s hard work.

Blame her humble upbringing for being economical.

But before she could blow out the lantern in the throne room, a yelp warned her.

“Don’t Jiwoo. I’m still in here.”

Jiwoo would recognize that voice from anywhere. And unfortunately, recognize that worried look on Jungeun’s face. Approaching her best friend, she wondered why Jungeun was by herself in an almost darkened room, rotating a broken staff in her hands.

Jungeun was always a frantic person but at the speed she was pacing at, she was sure she was going to create a hole in the floor. And the new handmaiden wouldn’t be concerned if Jungeun’s labored breathing didn’t sound so eerily familiar.

“What’s going on?” Jiwoo asked cautiously.

It had been years since she witnessed one of her episodes and she sure hoped the back of her mind possessed the knowledge to get Jungeun through this. Seeing that the queen wasn’t in the mood to talk, gnawing on her lower lip, Jiwoo stepped forward. She had just gotten her hair redone by Vivi, now flaunting a purplish auburn. And Jungeun didn’t even notice.

(Sooyoung was still hyperventilating with her jaw dropped rooms away upon seeing Jiwoo's makeover.)

“Does this have to do with Heejin?”

Jungeun shook her head.

“Chaewon?”

Jungeun shook her head.

“Jinsol?”

Jiwoo was ready to catch Jungeun as she collapsed into her arms, leading them to sit on the cold floor. Taking a good look at Jungeun’s face, Jiwoo was glad she wasn’t having another attack. Instead, she looked exhausted. Which was strange as Jungeun and Jinsol were in their world the whole day. Wasn’t love supposed to invigorate oneself?

“Jiwoo, I’m scared.”

Jiwoo wasn’t following. Their castle was one of the best fortified that she’s seen. At the rate of her family had moved around, she’s seen a lot of them. Chaewon wasn’t having any secret late night visitors sneak in. Jinsol was safe in the confines of the castle, her armor still encased in the training room.

“She’s been nothing but kind and sweet and chivalrous but I don’t know if she’s doing it for herself or for me.”

Jiwoo held in a sigh. She thought they had this conversation before.

But that was with the old Jungeun. This one was different than the one they were used to. This one didn’t succumb herself to giving up when she was cornered against her carriage a few days ago. Hyejoo had to save her because of her lack of action.

They were different people that time couldn’t make up for.

“Jungeun, Jinsol loves you. And you know that she doesn’t just do anything without thinking of all the consequences,” Jiwoo was speaking to fill the silence, unsure of the validity of her claim.

Jinsol was different too. But hopefully a good different. 

Filling in the pieces herself, Jiwoo could see that even if Jungeun and Jinsol had made up, there was a lot of unresolved tension. When Jiwoo asked what Jinsol’s best kill was to make smalltalk, she was immediately silenced by Vivi.

“And she knows that you would be unhappy if she ever did anything completely selfless. Remember how you shot down all those earrings she bought you because she was only doing it for you?”

Jungeun hiccuped and agreed. Even after all these years, Jiwoo hasn’t lost her touch. Hoping this method still worked with Jungeun, Jiwoo hummed a tune as she rocked the queen back and forth. Like old times.

“I don’t know what she wants anymore. I don’t know what I want anymore. Do you think...do you think she’s smothering me?”

Jiwoo bit her tongue, all too familiar with those words.

Jinsol and Jungeun were acting worse than young lovers but the castlehold wasn’t going to speak on it. Not because of the class difference but because they had no idea what was going on. They were adults and they wouldn’t completely dismiss their duties just to canoodle in every nook and cranny in the castle. The castle had their inquiries but only Jungeun and Jinsol knew what was good for Jungeun and Jinsol. Maybe they needed this. Maybe this honeymoon stage would die down.

(As if Sooyoung and Jiwoo’s had died down.)

“I think that’s for you to ask yourself. And ask her. Do you feel like she’s smothering you?”

Jungeun couldn’t answer. She wasn’t watching their relationship from the sidelines and no one said a word to them about their behavior. Maybe she was being nervous. Anxious for no reason. It’s happened before for the wolf attacks and there was so much her mind could take.

“I don’t know. I just know that I’m scared. I don’t know why I’m always scared.”

Unsure of what else she could add, Jiwoo stood them up, blowing out the lamp as hard as she could rather than smothering it to not trigger Jungeun.

\---

_“You’re smothering her.”_

_“Am not!”_

_Luna rolled her eyes as her husband and daughter argued while she set the table for their uninvited guest. But the guest would show up._

_She always did._

_Onew and Jiwoo were arguing about Sooyoung’s place in Jiwoo’s life. It was obvious that Sooyoung was courting the young woman but it was also obvious that Jiwoo was going overboard welcoming her back._

_Sooyoung never sent a letter announcing that she’d visit the farmers’ shack when she returned but she always turned up at her doorstep, still in her battle armor to check in on the family. Seeing that the shack was central in their block and far from the nearest forest, Sooyoung didn’t have to “check in.”_

_They knew why she visited._

_To visit the girl that was currently arguing with her father about what constituted a proper welcome home party._

_“At this rate, we’re going to run out of food if she throws a feast every time that knight visits!”_

_“We’re rich now, Dad! This doesn’t make a difference. She is out there eating bugs and unwashed meat. And she deserves the best!”_

_“Why? She’s just a knight!”_

_Luna saved Jiwoo from further embarrassment, knowing she should announce their relationship on their own terms. She threw the sack of vegetable shavings to Onew to throw it out. Pointing at his eyes then at Jiwoo’s - he was as threatening as one of the bugs Sooyoung’s father Taemin ate - Onew left._

_Before Jiwoo could scurry out too, Luna stopped her by holding a knife between her and the doorway._

_“Mom, I don’t want to talk about it,” Jiwoo crossed her arms petulantly._

_“Well, we’re going to talk about it. Because we did not slave over a hot fireplace to cook food for ‘just some knight.’”_

_Jiwoo knew what Sooyoung meant to her. But she was okay with what they were now. Occasional meals at the best diners and occasional romps in each other’s beds. The knight was slow to realize her feelings but she had to give her a hint._

_Not with words as Sooyoung wasn’t the best with verbal communication._

_So Jiwoo was doing it with her actions._

_The new clothes. The five course meals._

_The pages in her notebook filled with Sooyoung’s name. In her defense, she was practicing her penmanship. And the long journeys to the Kim castle. In her defense, her new best friend Jungeun lived there too. _

_“Jiwoo, I know Sooyoung means a lot to you. I’ve never seen you so smitten before. I’m not setting you up for heartbreak but you can’t overdo it. Giving each other space is important.”_

_“Mom, we don’t even live together.”_

_“Yet.”_

_Jiwoo knew what her mom was doing. She was preparing her for a disaster if it came to it. Sometimes, Jiwoo could be...a lot. She has lost friends due to her extroverted attitude and need for constant public displays of affection. But if Sooyoung minded, she wouldn’t be returning to Jiwoo’s shack before her own dorm which was much warmer and much closer to the kingdom checkpoints._

_Maybe she met someone who appreciated her and she couldn’t let her go._

_Jiwoo understood. Her eccentricity could be a lot to handle. Even she got tired of herself. Smothering your love on someone would push them away._

_“WHAT?! THEY’RE GOING TO LIVE TOGETHER TOO!” Jiwoo’s father dropped the empty compost bucket in the open doorway, allotting enough space for Jiwoo and Luna to see a shy Sooyoung waving behind him._

_As if the last few minutes didn’t happen, Jiwoo jumped and Sooyoung was more than prepared to catch her. Brushing her hair back, greased with the grime and sweat of a long mission out, Jiwoo couldn’t care less._

_Sooyoung was back._

_Sooyoung wasn’t tired of her yet._

_“There she goes hugging her friend again!”_

_“Onew, please help me stoke the fireplace!”_

_“Yes dear.”_

_Keeping her mother’s words in mind and not wanting the food to get cold, Jiwoo timed their hug._

_“You’re back,” Jiwoo breathed against Sooyoung._

_“I’m back,” Sooyoung repeated, nuzzling into the girl she missed the whole week._

_Thirty minutes was long enough for a hug, right?_

\---

If there was one thing Haseul was amazing at, it was breath control.

Hyunjin had to wait for minutes to regain her hearing when Haseul screamed at the top of her lungs. She had thought Haseul was an intruder, not recognizing anyone with a hair length that short in the castle, and had roughly turned her around, asking for identification.

Turns out, Haseul was on board with the hair change schematics.

(To help prep Jungeun for talking to Jinsol, Jiwoo stole her away while Jinsol ran gate lockup protocol with Sooyoung. They walked in on Haseul changing her own appearance in the bathroom but she was cutting her hair unevenly. Having been the family barber for years, Jiwoo fixed Haseul’s botched cut right up as they both coached Jungeun what to say.)

“Oh sorry Haseul, I didn’t know it was you. I apologize.”

Hyunjin should be better with recognizing people by their scent. Especially if they were the mothers of her girlfriend.

Clutching onto her heart, Haseul took deep breaths for the second time today. The first being seeing Vivi somehow look better than before. She didn’t think it was possible. But she also didn’t think it was possible to make Vivi’s jaw drop when she entered the dining hall.

“You’re not going to change your look at all?”

Hyunjin knew the significance of the process. She wasn’t sure if she might tackle Yerim tomorrow when she awoke to unfamiliar purple hair but she’d cross that bridge when she got to it. But she wouldn’t grow used to it soon.

She had to prepare for her journey to the Im kingdom with Hyejoo.

But she wouldn’t make a big deal about Heejin’s departure. She couldn’t. Unlike any wounds she’s had, this cavity from Heejin’s departure couldn’t be mended with quick wolf rejuvenation. She couldn’t repair the loneliness she felt wondering how Heejin would react to things around the castle. She couldn’t look over and see Heejin’s face light up at corny puns and deranged humor.

But Hyunjin could imagine how she’d react and it made the emptiness easier to bear knowing she could recreate Heejin. It was enough for now.

She would sure get an earful from Yerim tonight wondering where she was the night before.

Which was in these stables with the love of her life.

But right now, her lover was away and Hyunjin was here. Watching Haseul check on the horses, Hyunjin saw a familiar grin. A motherly grin Vivi was sporting this morning when asking about her whereabouts.

(Vivi wasn’t actually asking anything. Hyunjin was just nervous and assumed.)

And the answer would always be where Heejin was. Even if she wasn’t physically there.

“Because nothing changed so I don’t have to change my look.”

Haseul cocked her head to the side.

“I still feel the same way about Heejin.”

—

_“Welcome back Jungeun.”_

_Jungeun opened her eyes and looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was a damp but she could see that she was back to her original color._

_Boring and brown._

_But Jinsol loved it anyway._

_Vivi wiped her hands on a towel, happy she didn’t have to quickly clean up her mess unlike last time. Jinsol was intimidating if provoked. Good thing, the most terrifying weapon she held was a quill._

_And her occasional training epee._

_“You’re wondering what brought about the change?”_

_Jungeun was grateful she kept Vivi on staff. Not only was she an amazing doctor, giving her a beautiful baby girl. But she was a noble friend. One that stuck through her thick and thin. If one ever told her a secret, Jungeun was sure Vivi would carry it to the grave._

_When she came up with her blonde idea, Vivi was off to the market post-haste with Taeyang without any questions._

_“I never asked because I didn’t know if you wanted me too.”_

_Vivi had her guesses why._

_Ever since they moved in, it was obvious who was the dormant royal and who was the import. Vivi hated those words._

_They were people. Not pawns._

_But now that there was a third Jung in the mix, Jungeun stood out even more. If it wasn’t for the brooch or the crown, one wouldn’t have thought she was Chaewon’s mother._

_Vivi knew that motherhood surpassed physical features. As much as the council pushed for children that spouted from a royal bloodline, Vivi believed as long as someone took care of another, they were family._

_If her life came to having motherhood, she’d love any child she’d have, adopted or born._

_(Enter Heejin years laters when her parents passed.)_

_“She said ‘you don’t have to change for me.’ She’s always been the smart one.”_

_“So are you Jungeun,” Vivi answered, combing back Jungeun’s hair. “But change happens regardless. It’s how you confront that change that makes a difference.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_Placing the brush down and making eye contact with Jungeun through the mirror, Vivi wished her powers were strong enough to put Jungeun under her spell. She had changed a lot since the wolf attack and she could feel her confidence growing back day by day. But like any human - like any being - self-doubt lingered._

_“I mean that we all change for other people in small ways. You changed your schedule to care for Chaewon. You changed your diet to get a healthier body when pregnant. You changed your feelings for Jinsol as you got to know her better.”_

_Both women blushed. Jungeun had come a long way._

_“And Jinsol will change for you too.”_

_Jungeun thought about all of the changes they both made for each other. Even if Jinsol was able to reside in her childhood home, according to Haseul, Jinsol has made significant changes to be the woman she is today._

_“It just depends on how one deals with that change and if the change hurts or helps you.”_

—

Taking a deep breath, Jungeun put her hand on the doorknob to Jinsol’s office. But a change of plan happened when she saw that Jinsol wasn’t alone.

“WOW!” Jinsol screamed, holding up a paper flower, startling the woman next to her.

“Haven’t I been injured enough today?!” Clutching her chest with her bandaged hand, Yeojin prepared to slap the queen but realized who she would be hitting. 

“Oh hey darling, how’d Haseul’s hair turn out? I heard Vivi fancies it a lot.” Jinsol ignored Yeojin’s complaints and smiled up at her wife.

A smile Jungeun missed so much. A smile she loved waking up to. A smile the whole world deserved to see.

She could take a gander at what was happening. Jinsol was one to cheer up everyone who got hurt in the sweetest of ways. Seeing Yeojin’s bandaged hand, Jinsol invited her up to the private office, allowing her to choose whatever she wanted to read in a room she wasn’t allowed in.

(Yeojin zipped her lips as she and the rest of the girls had snuck up there several times. Jinsol made sure Yeojin not touch any of her desk drawers, particularly the bottom one. It had been days since she perused through her research and she wondered when she’d return to it and if it was still necessary.)

Picking up an origami book, they figured out a way to make use of the revoked contracts Jungeun and her refused to sign.

Jinsol tried inviting Chaewon. She was inept on how to bond with an eighteen-year-old, digging through old craft catalogs that Chaewon enjoyed doing. That was from years ago, Chaewon said before skipping off with Hyejoo.

Jinsol tried not to show her disappointment and focused on cheering Yeojin up.

Jungeun smiled at the effort.

She was trying hard.

Not only for herself. But for Chaewon. And for their whole castle family.

How could she take this away from her by telling her she might be home too much? How could she tell Jinsol that maybe this wasn’t going according to plan? What needed to happen to get Jinsol to return to her post?

“I made you this flower. It won’t die, just like my love for you.” Jinsol shone her teeth, waving the crafty flower in front of Jungeun, ignoring Yeojin’s retching.

Taking the rose, Jungeun didn’t know why she couldn’t be normal for Jinsol. Like the paper flower, she was a phony. Her outer beauty only held despair and distress. Maybe it was best Jinsol does leave for long periods of time. So she didn’t see that her wife was not all that she seems.

With Jiwoo and Sooyoung around as distractions, maybe Jungeun would stay in the condition she was in.

Mint condition.

Like a chess piece.

Like a pawn.

Which sometimes she felt like she was. But the moves decided for her had led her all to Jinsol, to Jiwoo, to Chaewon. If given the choice, would she even have married Jinsol? Who would her child be then? Would she have a child?

Why was the air in the room disappearing?

“Yeojin, get Vivi. NOW!”

Jinsol fell to her knees, not wanting to crowd around Jungeun, holding her hand to show her she wasn’t leaving.

In a snap: her recovery had gone to waste.

Another attack.

One’s perspective was always changing with the things life threw at them. Whether it be their love riding off at sunrise, a change in appearance, an injured hand. The tricky part was how one dealt with that change. Would they hide? Would they run away? Would they pretend all was fine and dandy?

Jungeun’s recovery was ever changing and no one, not even the castle physician, could chart what would happen to her.

“Take deep breaths, sweetheart. I got you.”

Jinsol made a promise to change be a better wife and she was exceeding all expectations.

“I’ll always be here.”

Jungeun made a promise to change too.

“I promise.”

So why wasn’t her promise coming true?

  


**NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: NEXT FULL MOON**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q (ourtuneisohigh): One person has left the castle. But she won't be the last. Dun Dun. I'm honestly surprised how far we've come with this story. When N and I crafted this, it was just a series of instagram DMs back and forth. And now we have supernatural lore, backstories, mental health, all that jazz. Make sure to save up your votes because we're getting Loona that first win. See you on the next one! Also N will be updating the map so I can finally have it as my header. [Twitter](https://twitter.com/0TlSH)
> 
> N (LazyNinja): Thanks for reading, we hope you’ve been enjoying this story. Things are pretty calm rn which means.. You’ll see soon enough~ Hope you are excited for the next chapter almost as much as we are sure you are for #. Take care of yourself, see you next time. Updated Map to be up now, check our Twitter to see it. [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_LazyNinja_) | [CC](https://curiouscat.me/_LazyNinja_)


	14. Love Letter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Format as follows:**
> 
> _Italics: Past_  
  
Straight (but really gay): Present  

> 
> ****  


  
_My dearest Hyunjin,_

_You will find it humorous that I haven’t disembarked from my carriage to begin writing to you. I am looking out the window and I am seeing the sights you are blessed with on your many journeys. The mountains, the trees, the ocean mist are all things I remember vaguely as a child. I feel like one again, taking it all in for what feels like the first time. I hope one day we’ll get to view this together and you can recount the adventures you and Aunt Jinsol had. The ones you promised to tell me when we are reunited once again._

_You may notice the ink is different here. Had to take a break. But I’m back._

_As beautiful as the Kim castle is, nothing will compare to our home in the Jung kingdom. I see why Aunt Jungeun likes being compared to Queen Taeyeon. She is magnificent, beautiful, and talented. Queen Taeyeon and Princess Seohyun have much preparation to do for the upcoming full moon here.Their location is considered the most vulnerable during this time, something I remember you telling me once._

_But they promised to give me a proper tour of the castle once the beast cycle is through. I promised not to step into the library so the princess can witness my face when I open its massive doors. I am told they have the most expansive library out of all kingdoms. They let people from the village and knights borrow books from it too. Each book has a thirteen digit number assigned to it so a scribe knows which person checked out which book. If they don’t return it in time, they are issued a fine in the cost of one finger for each day it is overdue. Fascinating._

_I also heard that inside this library holds an old portrait of my parents, older than the one in our trophy room at home. Not to say I won’t try to sneak in when the guards aren’t looking. Our friends have taught me the trick of the trade._

_With all my love,_

_Heejin_

Hyunjin delicately folded the letter and tucked it into her breast plate.

“You have got to have that letter memorized by now,” Hyejoo observed.

At every stop they made on their journey, Hyunjin whipped out the folded piece of parchment. But when Hyejoo peeked over, she didn’t find a map, but a cheesy love letter from Heejin. She had never seen this side of the seneschal before but Hyejoo would know that look from anywhere. It was the same look her mother gave to her other mother’s trading cards whenever she had a delivery trip outside the kingdoms they bounced around in.

Hyunjin was smitten.

Before Hyejoo fake retched, she found another reason to actually feel nauseated.

“Ready to set sail?”

Hyejoo gulped as she looked at the dinky boat that was to take them to the Im kingdom.

It would’ve been a shorter ride on the water if they embarked from the Liu or Kim kingdoms - and Hyunjin hoped it would be the latter to pay a special visit to her pen pal - but the Park sailors owed the Jungs a favor so was quick to volunteer for transportation services.

Also, a full moon was imminent and it would be best if they are in the water if the celestial body made an early appearance. (Hyejoo and Hyunjin hoped the moon wouldn’t make a premature debut because neither of them wanted the captain to witness a wolf transformation on board.)

It’s not that Hyejoo feared open water. When she was in wolf form, she didn’t mind a quick dip to wash the stench of blood from her fur. But as a human, generations of internalized trauma from humans doing unspeakable things to keep wolves in line, from drowning to waterboarding, manifested itself as a fear within the new hybrids.

Hyunjin knew of this, having overcome her phobia years ago when a newly married Jinsol built an indoor pool to impress her new bride Jungeun. Years since the pool was drained, it was filled with sand and gravel to reduce maintenance costs after the attack. She was one of the last to learn how to swim.

“It’ll be quick, Hyejoo. No need to fear,” Hyunjin declared valiantly.

The captain shrugged off the interaction. Being an employee in the Park kingdom came with strange day-to-day events like houses haunted by nine ghosts of different careers or their court musicians declaring there would be a comeback even if they were only declaring it for themselves.

Hyejoo smiled graciously. Since their first mission, Hyunjin and her have gotten close.

(According to Yerim, if Hyunjin had more than a two minute conversation with you, you were considered close.)

Literally and figuratively testing the waters, Hyejoo boarded the vehicle with Hyunjin steadying her.

“You sure Heejin wouldn’t get jealous?” Hyejoo looked down at where Hyunjin’s hands were on her hips.

Scoffing, Hyunjin made sure to board with a loud jump to startle the werewolf. But held onto the mast quickly so she wouldn’t fall in. She swallowed her own pathetic whimper.

“I rescind my protection plan on you.”

“Oh and to think I was going to get you something nice when we were in the Im kingdom…” Hyejoo shook her head mockingly. “But maybe I’d just get something for Heejin.”

“That doesn’t phase me. She deserves all the finest things. Wait until I figure out who you have a crush on.”

“Come on girls, get in the boat,” Captain Nagyung said, casting off. “Unless you two are sirens and would rather take the voyage on your own dealing with sea serpents.”

Wrong species, the knights mused in their head.

The girls made their way to the center of the boat, Hyunjin wondering what she should actually get Heejin and Yerim while she was abroad, Hyejoo wondering if she did have a crush on anyone. If she did, who was it?

\---

_“And that is why they call them sirens.”_

_“Woah!” A young Haseul and an even younger Yeojin widened their eyes as their mother Minzy told them the story of the sirens for the thousandth time._

_It was their favorite bedtime story and their mother never tired of repeating the tale, never having to consult the fairytale book. But it couldn’t all be a fairytale? People had statuettes of the famous extinct creature in shops and on high class estates._

_Like wolves and witches, the sirens were only appreciated for what they could do for humans. Many became actors. Human carpenters built elaborate stages around the rock beds so humans can spend a day at the beach and enjoy picnics and a show. Many also became court musicians, put into large tanks of water and then carted off when the royal event was over._

_Minzy scrunched up her eyes at the astonishment on her daughters’ faces._

_“There aren’t anymore sirens here right, Mom?”_

_“Of course not! Or else Mom and Dad wouldn’t have jobs!”_

_“I was just asking gosh.” Haseul took a large sip of Yeojin’s yogurt drink._

_“MOM, SHE’S STEALING MY SNACKS AGAIN!”_

_“MOM!” Haseul mocked, contorting her face to mimic her sister, taking another healthy sip._

_Situated underneath their blanket, Minzy made sure the lamp stayed balanced in the middle of the bed as her two girls bickered. Maybe it had to do with her family background but one couldn’t tell a story without setting the stage. She protected her props more than she did her daughters, moving her small wooden puppets in case Yeojin or Haseul used them as weapons as their insults escalated. She always taught them to be explicit with their emotions._

_“RAGGABRASH!”_

_“DRIGGLE-DRAGGLE!”_

_“COOTIE QUEEN!”_

_“LINT LICKER!”_

_“MONGREL DOG!”_

_“HARLOT WITCH!”_

_“THAT’S ENOUGH!” Minzy gave both of her daughters a pointed look, hoping Vivi didn’t possess keen hearing to pick up the last insult._

_(The Dong family did and they heard that wolf slur loud and clear.)_

_Keeping the lamp at bay, the blanket floated back to its original tent set-up over their heads. Taking deep breaths like their mom taught them to do when frenzied, they calmed down._

_“Sorry, Yeojin,” the older one grumbled._

_“Yeah, same,” the younger one did the same._

_“YEOJIN!”_

_“AHHHH OKAY! I’m sorry too, Haseul.”_

_As they settled down and the girls’ blushing cheeks from screaming returned to normal, Yeojin looked up at her mother with a solemn expression._

_“Mom, are sirens really gone? Did we kill them all?” Yeojin teared up, feeling rather close to the folklore creatures._

_Minzy would’ve scooped Yeojin into her arms but Haseul was quick to it, brushing off the spat they had not even five minutes ago. She cradled her sister close while Minzy smiled. She knew she raised them right._

_“Maybe some still live among us…” Haseul resolved, looking above her sister’s head to silently ask her mom if she was doing the right thing by lying. She wasn’t sure if sirens assimilated into the human world but she didn’t like seeing her baby sister cry._

_Minzy felt the girls were finally old enough to know the truth but a burly giant cannonballed atop their camp setup to embrace his family, almost tipping over the oil lamp as the Bang family went down...thankfully not in flames._

\---

“Chaewon, would you like to join us?” Jinsol offered with a smile.

Now that Hyejoo was far off, it was the mother’s chance to bond with-

“I have plans with Yerim and Yeojin,” the young Jung shrugged before turning away and missing the disappointed look on Jinsol’s face.

Luckily, Jungeun caught the expression and glided over to her wife. The last couple of nights had been hard on them since her episode. Jinsol returned to her overprotective mode and Jungeun walked on eggshells again.

But like good royals, they bypassed the fiasco and painted a new mask.

Much like Jinsol wanted to do with her daughter.

Jinsol didn’t realize her wife was leading her to the old spa room, once filled with the rushing waters from the tributaries feeding into the Jung kingdom. It previously housed a massive pool where Jungeun practiced her swimming (an extra wedding gift from Jinsol). Then later the younger ones, including a baby Hyejoo, had learned to swim there as well.

Now the grandiose tunnel of water was sealed as it could easily hide any human sized monster.

(The updated building plan was vague but everyone knew what “human sized monster” alluded to.)

Besides sewage and drinking water, no other types of water flowed in and out of the castle. The former pool was filled with sand for the knights to practice fighting during the winter. The stained glass windows and wicker chairs collected dust, rarely admired by knights who entered that room for a cardio session.

“I’m trying,” Jinsol let out a big sigh as Jungeun brought her down on one of the loungers.

“I know sweetheart, I know. Chaewon will come around. It’s just different with you here for so long.” Jungeun made a mental note to give her daughter a talking to. She may be “of age” but that didn’t mean family time was optional.

Listening to the wind rattling outside, the queens held onto each other. One episode was enough to keep Jinsol planted and now, she definitely wasn’t going anywhere. Why did Jungeun have another attack? Wasn’t she fixed because Jinsol was home? Was Jinsol not doing enough? Did they need to add medication? Or a personal doctor?

“She’s more used to my absence than my presence.”

But they couldn’t.

“I know.”

Each scenario they came up with was harder to stomach than the last. Jinsol didn’t want to think about how Jungeun was relapsing after being on the road to recovery for years. Jungeun didn’t want to think of how disappointed her wife was that she was still suffering.

Neither clause was true but they didn’t know that.

Because they wouldn’t discuss them.

Like trained royals, they rotated masks in a blink of an eye. There was much to do. The Solar New Year festival was drawing near. They’d ask Haseul to sing for the occasion. Then the Lunar New Year festival. They’d ask Haseul to sing for that too, knowing she’d turn down the first invitation. There were contracts to sign, citizens to see, appearances to make, lost time to make up for.

“Are we holding auditions for the New Year’s banquet?” Jungeun cleared her throat.

“Yes, hopefully Haseul will finally show up,” Jinsol straightened her posture but held Jungeun close.

Close.

As close as they believed they wanted the other to be.

\---

_“Haseul, do you honestly believe I have the range to sing that to her?”_

_Haseul shrugged as she flopped on the queen’s bed, melting into the soft sheets. It was massive enough to fit more than one body. Perhaps another queen that was unprecedentedly sleeping in her own quarters. Jinsol had insisted on making the strategy room into a bedroom for her new wife. It was atypical but Haseul didn’t question it._

_Much like she didn’t question Jinsol begging for courting advice even though Haseul was as single as any knight._

_The young court musicians’ daughter suggested since Jinsol was having trouble with speaking her feelings, she should serenade them to Jungeun. Two weeks ago, Jinsol asked Jungeun if she lived nearby and that was the end of Haseul’s speech lessons._

_“Do you know her favorite artists?”_

_“Michaelangelo, Donatello, Leonardo, Raphael…” Jinsol listed off, not a breath in-between._

_“Musical artists Jinsol."_

_"THOSE ARE ARTISTS!"_

_They're turtles,” Haseul clarified, turning her head in time to see Jinsol’s face contort in deep thought._

_She hoped she wouldn’t have to call the new, beautiful doctor upstairs to check on Jinsol. The queen was overthinking this. This was the first time Jinsol had felt something as profound as this and what better way to express it than with the most beautiful gift the world can provide? _

_Music_

_Music was in Haseul’s family, in her blood. There wasn’t a day when Haseul wasn’t humming a tune or tapping on a surface._

_Jinsol’s family had a musical background too but they didn’t express it much. Or at least they weren’t allowed to. Well, maybe her mothers did now that they were free to do what they will. If they were even still alive that is. Jinsol had no idea and didn’t care to know. _

_“Thanks for helping Haseul,” Jinsol reached out to high-five her, getting a palm full of Haseul’s face._

_“OWWW!” Haseul wailed, holding onto her eye._

_Being a klutz ran in both families unsurprisingly._

\---

The Im knights welcomed them with open arms and a plethora of food. She was sure she ate at least three dinners. Something she didn’t mind, especially now that she was feeling her hunger growing and senses sharpening.

“Needed some air?” A voice called from behind but not moving near.

Hyejoo didn’t see Hyunjin at dinner but guessed it was because Hyunjin was out looking for new parchment for her beloved and a shiny rock for Yerim.

Hyunjin had a feeling she knew why Hyejoo was out for a breather. Once the lanterns were blown out, she was planning an escape route. Her ears picked up on how Hyejoo requested extra pillows, probably constructing a dummy person for when the handmaidens would request her presence for meals. They knew not to step into a visitor’s room without permission and as long as they saw a body on the bed, they would suspect nothing out of the ordinary.

The rookie knight also expressed she “wasn’t feeling well” at dinner according to Dahyun.

They wouldn’t leave until the end of the full moon cycle. Wolves were a rarity on the island kingdom but one could never be too careful.

“Those woods to the left,” Hyunjin pointed. “That’s where escorts would hide until bedtime. A path there leads straight to the village.”

Hyejoo furrowed her eyebrows. Just because she didn’t have a crush - or was still trying to figure it out, she wasn’t sure - didn’t mean she was going to revel in the affairs other knights revelled.

She was sure Hyunjin didn’t bask in them either.

The experienced knight crossed her arms, restrained by her quiver strapped to her back. It was emptier now but luckily for her, Hyejoo didn’t turn around.

“I think I’m alright for escorts for a few years, not that I have a crush or anything,” Hyejoo worded slowly, hoping Hyunjin wouldn’t pick that up as blackmail about feelings she didn’t feel she possessed. Just thinking about it made her feel the sickness she faked earlier.

Hyunjin held in a laugh. Heejin and her solidifying their relationship was doing wonders for the castle’s romantic lives. She had hoped Vivi and Haseul would be next - the other older married couples did not need any help in that department - but Hyejoo boarding the love boat was a nice surprise.

But that wasn’t what she was hinting at.

“But thanks anyway,” Hyejoo said and then snapped straight up.

Hyunjin heard the small skip of a heartbeat as the rookie knight connected the dots.

Hyejoo would be spending her transformation on the right side of the castle.

\---

_“TELL ME WHY WE ARE DOING THIS AGAIN!”_

_“SHE’S A SWIMMER. SHE LIKES TO SWIM!” Jinsol bellowed, dangling from the top of the castle walls as she supervised the construction of one of her wedding gifts for Jungeun._

_A little birdie informed her that Jungeun was an excellent swimmer and while they weren’t even half a day’s journey away from water, she hoped Jungeun would be able to cut her trips short and exercise inside the castle. Jungeun hadn’t spent much time outside the castle since her attack and Jinsol believed she shouldn’t relinquish her favorite hobbies because of a small setback._

_Meeting up with the best of architects, they designed a system that connected to the main irrigation channel. Jinsol had three requirements:_

_1) It wouldn’t mix with the kingdom water_

_2) The flow of water wouldn’t be tampered with - which is why they were building the tunnel underground and far from heavily settled areas_

_3) Jungeun would like it_

_That one she was hoping for the most, having designed the new spa room to mimic the recreation rooms in the Kim kingdom. Jinsol hoped she was doing enough to impress Jungeun and it would’ve been a surprise for everyone until she heard a humming tune follow her out of the castle this morning. Covertness did not run in the Bang family as music followed them wherever they went._

_(When Yeojin would be born years later, even her manic stomps around the castle had a rhythm to them.)_

_Putting Haseul to work, she laughed as she saw her right-hand grimace at the concrete splashing on her apron._

_“YOU OWE ME JINSOL!”_

_Jinsol only cackled harder as Haseul tripped, falling into the (thankfully dried) unfinished pipeline for the third time today._

\---

Chaewon kept her expression neutral as Jungeun led her out to the main entrance, wondering what guest she’d have to entertain today. She could have sworn her other mother could have done it instead with her being home more.

Not expecting to see Jinsol cheesing beside one of the smaller royal carriages - less decked out in gold trimmings to keep a commoner appearance - Chaewon tilted her head to the side.

“You’re leaving?”

(Jungeun and Jinsol pretended not to feel conflicted over the statement they both wanted and didn’t want to hear.)

“Your mother is going to teach you how to drive,” Jungeun smoothed down the shoulders of Chaewon’s coat as she ushered her down the castle steps. It was too slow for her parents’ liking. Jungeun’s heart broke at the despirited look on Jinsol’s face as Chaewon lost the spark she once had when her mother was home.

Before, she would jump into her arms at breakneck speed, putting Jinsol’s knight strength to family-friendly uses.

But they wouldn’t talk about it.

Just like how Chaewon wouldn’t bring it up as she got up to the driver’s bench without help and flurried the reins frantically, tangling around her wrists at each violent movement.

“AND GO!” Chaewon could feel her mother’s eyes on her and expected to be reprimanded for not remembering anything her other mother taught her.

Instead, she saw regret on Jinsol’s face.

Jinsol felt her heart clench as Chaewon’s frustrations grew. She had Jungeun’s impatience and temper. But she unfortunately collected her own procrastination. It shouldn’t have taken years to teach the girl how to drive. Jungeun mentored her just fine but doing circles around the courtyard barely constituted a suitable test. And Chaewon insisted one of her mothers do it.

They were far from an average family but teaching one’s kid how to drive should be a family endeavor. Hyunjin taught Yerim. Vivi taught Heejin. Haseul tried to teach Yeojin. Sooyoung and Jiwoo were drawing straws on who’d teach Hyejoo, remembering what ensued when they taught Hyejoo how to ride a horse.

“Mom?” Chaewon swallowed her pride, feeling like a child again.

“Yes, Chae?” Jinsol held in a voice crack.

“Teach me?” Chaewon sighed as Jinsol took Chaewon’s hands with the reins still in them, showing her how to giddy-up properly.

The blondes held in a breath as their hands touched. It was like they were a family again. The look was unmissed by Jungeun who held in a breath since they boarded.

“You best be on your way. The full moon is coming tonight,” Jungeun pointed at the sky. The Im kingdom would be immersed in darkness by now and she hoped her two daughter-like knights were tucked away in their beds to wait it out.

As much as Jinsol enjoyed having her only child beside her, it wouldn’t be a family outing without her loving wife.

Chaewon shook her head at her mother, knowing what she was going to ask.

“Next time,” Jungeun voiced, understanding her family’s concerns without any words between them.

Once Jinsol and Chaewon repatched their relationship, she’d be able to pick up on these signs again. She’d be a better wife, better mother, better queen. But to the two grinning blondes in the carriage, she already was. Jungeun mirrored their smiles, waving them off to their mother-daughter day.

It was almost perfect.

“MOM RAN HER OVER!”

“WHAT?! THAT WAS BOTH OF US!”

“YERIM, ARE YOU OKAY?!”

“I’M OKAY!”

\---

_“Dad was supposed to teach me to drive!”_

_“Well, Dad’s not here right now!”_

_Haseul ran a frustrated hand through her hair as Yeojin complained loud enough to wake up the whole kingdom. She wanted to impress her parents since she opted out of not joining them on their music tour. Since that attack in the bar, she hadn’t been feeling herself lately._

_For the first time, Vivi couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her._

_Yeojin stomped off petulantly but hurried back inside the carriage as the weather took an ugly turn. She even locked the carriage door for good measure._

_Haseul was in disbelief herself as it started storming in the middle of summer. These things always happened when she was outside. If her parents were here, maybe she could ask why. Once she reached a certain age, she became a bad omen for precipitation. Maybe a generational curse? _

_Yeojin pulled her in through her the front window in a valiant effort to save her from the hail. But not without hitting her head, elbows, and knees against the top of the carriage. Cutting the reins with a knife - Haseul didn’t ask why Yeojin carried one but apparently it was for any blood oaths Yeojin might get into in the future - the horses ran to the stable._

_One sibling sweaty and the other soaking wet, they crouched on the carriage floor._

_“I’m sorry Yeojin,” Haseul whimpered, just loud enough for Yeojin to hear._

_Yeojin scrunched her face in confusion. It was only driving. One didn’t need that skill to pass the knight exam. It would be needed to pick up “the ladies” but another noble person could teach her. (Not Hyunjin as she never indulged in that part of knighthood.) But Haseul was adamant, waking her up at the crack of dawn, to get their first lesson in._

_But Haseul’s apology meant more than the skill of navigation._

_She meant being cowardly enough to not follow her parents, knowing Yeojin wanted to see the world._

_She meant bringing disgrace to the family name when she was ridiculed and attacked in that bar months ago._

_She meant not making a name for herself before this curse was bestowed upon her._

_Yeojin took her big sister into her arms, seeing a mix of expressions cross her face. Kissing her on the crown of her head, she let the sound of the rain that followed Haseul soothe them._

_Since the attacks, life had been hard on them. As close as Knight Sooyoung and Jiwoo have been to the royal couple, Haseul was one of their dearest friends as well. The Has moved out shortly after Yeojin was born and Hyejoo was stuck to Chaewon’s side during her 10th that Yeojin never bonded with the girl. She couldn’t pretend she was grieving for people she barely knew. But seeing her sister’s life turn around from not one but two life-changing events, Yeojin transferred her grief there._

_One day, Haseul will prove herself worthy as a singer._

_She had already proven herself as a wonderful sister more than enough._

\---

Haseul almost fainted at the sight of blood seeping from Yerim’s forehead as Jungeun rushed her inside. She could hear the horses galloping outside followed by Jinsol’s screeches meaning the queen was finally giving her daughter driving lessons. 

Vivi had heard the commotion outside and had her kit ready, clearing off the examination table in the reading room as the three of them stepped in.

Hopping onto the table as if there wasn’t a cut threatening to expose her skull, Yerim swung her feet giddily as Vivi wiped the blood off.

“What had happened was-” Jungeun spoke up.

“Trust me, Jungeun, I’m better off not knowing,” Vivi repeated. That phrase on a loop when it came to the young ones in the castle. Looking at the newest victim, the cut was healing nicely - almost too nicely.

Vivi feigned a gasp.

“Ladies, I must ask you both to step outside before I perform this operation,” Vivi pulled out a long needle and a vial of opium she knew she didn’t need the full dose of.

Jungeun was quick to catch Haseul before she fainted a second time, dragging her out by her heels and offering a sympathetic nod to an unphased Yerim and a stressed out Vivi. Once the door was closed, Jungeun and Haseul waited for Yerim’s wails of pain. None came.

Vivi was truly the best surgeon in all the land.

“Haseul, the New Years’ banquet is soon,” Jungeun distracted the both of them, wondering how their handmaiden was stomaching the operation like a champion.

Very different than Yeojin’s operating experience from Vivi’s recollection a few days ago.

(The squire requested spoonfeeding services by another squire while she recovered. Safe to say, Jungeun and Jinsol did not sign that appeal.)

“I have heard,” Haseul strained through a smile, hoping something would disturb them. Yerim crying out in pain, Vivi cursing, or Yeojin barreling down the hallway for a painkiller refill.

Haseul knew what Jungeun was up to. What the whole castle was up to. Since Heejin’s departure, the quest of finding one’s true path was more pronounced than ever. Yeojin was studying again - if studying meant staring angrily at her textbooks and the rope course - for knight training. Yerim was taking her time but keeping her options open, saying she was happy where she was. Hyejoo was out on another mission. Chaewon had her path set out for her since birth.

Vivi was living and breathing her profession. Sooyoung and Jiwoo had enough jobs up their sleeve to allow them to sustain menial jobs at the castle. But Haseul?

Jungeun and Jinsol would be holding auditions for the court musician that would grace the banquet’s festivities. Much like Hyejoo’s acceptance to knight training, they’d be biased for Haseul.

But she turned down every invitation since her last audition, keeping her voice a gift from the ones she knew wouldn’t make her feel small.

\---

_Yeojin rushed in with a closed box, panting and perspiring. It was almost time for breakfast and the girl has yet to change out of her sleeping attire. This being Chaewon’s birthday made it a special meal and Jinsol even hinted at a remarkable treat in the cart next door._

_“What’s in the box?” Heejin piped up, taking another look at the croissants in the oven._

_“You don’t want to know,” Vivi and Haseul said simultaneously, blushing at their minds melding._

_The young future chef and young future (maybe) knight shared a look, wondering when the two would get their act together. They technically had a kid together. And Yeojin was like one of their own._

_Heejin wasn’t allowed to touch romance novels but she knew the married duo was skipping a few steps in-between their path to each other’s hearts._

_“It’s Chaewon’s birthday gift,” Yeojin toothily grinned, holding the box near to her chest._

_A croaking noise came from within and before the older ones could narrow their eyes, Heejin cleared her throat. Whatever was in that box would maybe outdo Jinsol’s foreign gift in terms of creativity._

_“Aunt Haseul, did you hear about the touring troupe auditions in town? They’ll be in the kingdom next year,” Heejin diverted, getting lost in her fantasy of travelling. “You should sign up for it.”_

_Haseul lifted her shoulders to shrug but the baiting looks from the three, especially from the royal doctor, made her rethink putting off her goals again. If she were to audition, she would have to request time off by the queens themselves. If she were to audition, she’d have to prepare a piece to present. If she were to audition, she’d also have to figure out something nice to wear._

_Right now, Chaewon’s tenth birthday was her priority._

_There was another day._

_During dinner preparation and ballroom decoration, she was running through every song she learned as a child, wondering if it was a step closer to her dream._

\---

“Heard your kid ran over Yerim,” Sooyoung teased.

Jinsol and her sparred with kitchen utensils as they waited for the fire to grow.

Jungeun and Jiwoo rolled their eyes at their wives - assuaged they weren’t using real weapons - as they cut vegetables beside each other.

They were all relieved that the blonde royals rode in before the sky dimmed, seeing that the moon was full. For them, this dinner preparation was to distract them all from their own thoughts.

Even if it was Sooyoung’s job, she was constantly moving around the kitchen, the pit growing in her stomach that Hyejoo wouldn’t find a safe refuge to wait out this moon cycle. Jiwoo was more confident in their daughter’s brawns, so she was keeping her wife calm more than herself.

For Jinsol, she needed to get rid of the guilt of running over their precious handmaiden even if it was Chaewon behind the reins. Like the rest of the castle, she was surprised to see Yerim happily dusting the royal portraits rather than lying in bed in agony. She needed to remind herself to give Vivi a raise.

For Jungeun, her nerves shot up every full moon. She knew Jinsol would rather spend the moon cycle cooped up in each other’s arms but Jungeun insisted they spend time with the rest of the family.

“It was an honest mistake!” Jinsol yelled, parrying Sooyoung’s swipes left and right.

But not enough to hurt her.

Not this time.

“So what’re your plans for future mother-daughter days?” Jiwoo queried, offering a sad smile to Jungeun. She knew she was conflicted over Jinsol staying home even if these days were a blessing.

The night Heejin left, Yeojin had sprinted down the stairs and unfortunately called for Vivi’s assistance when they were all lounging in the reading room, making the married pair follow the physician and court musician up as well. They ran up to Jinsol’s office that night to see Jungeun crying into the crook of her neck. 

For the reunited best friends, Jiwoo’s heart broke knowing Jungeun had relapsed. She reached underneath and squeezed Jungeun’s hand which got Jungeun to return the gesture.

“I don’t know yet,” Jinsol placed her “weapon” back into the spoons bin.

Chaewon picked up driving faster than she wanted. What else was there left to teach her?

“Jiwoo and I had to pick up a lot of these new handheld games to bond with Hyejoo,” Sooyoung offered, throwing an arm around Jinsol.

“Does Chaewon play a lot of games?” Jinsol looked over to Jungeun.

Jungeun sadly shook her head. Maybe she’d pick it up with Hyejoo around her but that was not what her wife wanted to hear, knowing she was desperate for hobbies to do with their daughter that didn’t involve anyone else. It was kind of adorable that Jinsol was jealous of the rookie knight who didn’t pose much of a threat.

“I heard she likes fenci…” Jiwoo swallowed the rest of that sentence, not sure how comfortable Chaewon was since Jinsol almost cut her own wife open.

Another sad smile at Jungeun.

A hand squeeze under the table.

Feeling Jinsol deflate, Sooyoung cleared her throat to get her friend to look in her eyes. “You know what Hyejoo loves doing the most besides burning things?”

Jiwoo chuckled at Sooyoung’s attempt to lighten the mood.

(Thankfully, Hyejoo had outgrown that stage. And as envious Sooyoung and Jinsol were of the time their daughters spent together, it made Hyejoo forget her pyrotechnic ways.)

Sooyoung pulled Jinsol in, getting curious glances from their lovers at the far end of the room. She was sure they’d both confess what she whispered into Jinsol’s ear to their respective partners later tonight.

“Don’t tell her I told you this but Hyejoo loves helping me make Jiwoo happy.”

Looking at Sooyoung with newfound wisdom, Jinsol knew the next mother-daughter day would be a party of three.

\---

_“Let me in, Jungeun,” Jinsol said with such a soft intensity, Jungeun felt her breath escape her._

_Jinsol was sure hers left as well._

_Jiwoo, Sooyoung, Haseul, and Vivi were sure theirs left as well._

_Their eyes widening as they got a glimpse Jungeun leading Jinsol with their hands held towards her bedroom from the stairway they were eavesdropping in. They remained silent until they heard one door close on the third floor. It was a sound they were grateful to hear after months of pining._

_“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!”_

_Covering their ears, Haseul and Vivi were amazed Sooyoung didn’t flinch, unphased by the banshee volume Jiwoo emitted whenever she was excited, surprised, or bored. As their hearing returned, the four fell into a melodious laughter, feeling a weight tumble off their shoulders. If only they knew the amount of planning that bonded their four closest confidants to even get those two fools to talk about anything romantic._

_“So what’d you do to get Jungeun out of her room?” Sooyoung asked between laughs._

_“Built up the story that there was an escort in Jinsol’s room,” Vivi shrugged._

_That only made them laugh harder as Haseul’s jaw dropped. _

_“ME? I was the scapegoat!” Haseul pointed to herself, but she couldn’t stay mad at the new doctor. It was for the sake of their friends’ relationship._

_(She also couldn’t stay mad at her. Maybe the rumors were true and she was a witch who casted a spell on her.)_

_“It wasn’t that hard. You visited Jinsol every night,” Vivi draped an arm over Haseul’s shoulder to celebrate their new scheming camaraderie._

_(Sooyoung and Jiwoo shared a look after seeing Haseul’s face flushing. Now that their two friends sorted it out, it was time to adopt a new project.)_

_“She wanted to figure out how to serenade Jungeun,” Haseul confessed._

_Haseul wondered from which of Jinsol’s mothers she inherited her voice from. It was stable and sweet, jumping flawlessly from fast poetry to clear high notes. Growing up, the two of them didn’t study music, Jinsol wanting to spend less time with Tiffany when she offered it._

_But neither of them needed the training._

_Haseul was a little disappointed she wouldn’t be accompanying Jinsol on piano when she surprised Jungeun with a song she wrote. If Jinsol wanted to take a step back from her royal duties, producing music could be another endeavor she took up. Maybe both of them could become a duo to be reckoned with if they ever went on their own troupe tour._

_Haseul filed that as another goal she had, almost all of them including the art of music._

_Jiwoo clutched her chest at Haseul’s admission. “Did you hear that, sweetheart? Sol was going to serenade Jungie!”_

_Sooyoung nodded, melting at Jiwoo’s happiness._

_Vivi and Haseul prepared themselves again._

_“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!”_

\---

Jinsol would never lie about how her day with Chaewon went.

But Jungeun wanted to hear from Chaewon herself, knowing the best time to catch her was while Jinsol did her nighttime routine. Having her absent from the castle for a few hours was a sample of life after Chaewon assumed the throne.

Seeing her daughter tongue her cheek in concentration as she focused on a labyrinth Hyejoo left in her room, she was glad she caught her instead of her wife. It would be like Jinsol with the stuffed wolf toy all over again.

Misplaced jealousy.

And a ploy of (failed) plans to get rid of it.

“Trying to beat Hyejoo’s record?”

“Kind of. I want to impress her when she gets back,” Chaewon said, not tearing her eyes away from the metal ball in the game. “Come in Mom.”

Jungeun took a seat on the bed. Chaewon had rid all of the stuffed animals from her bed but one. (Another thing Jungeun hoped Jinsol didn’t pick up on as the lone wolf remained.) Since Hyejoo voiced her displeasure about the Kirbys, it wasn’t farfetched that Chaewon hadn’t taken them out of her wardrobe since their storytime with Sooyoung.

Jungeun saw it as a sign of Chaewon growing up. She didn’t need the protection or warmth of her favorite collectibles anymore. But like Jinsol, she wished Chaewon would still remain their little girl.

“How was your day with Mom?” Jungeun asked, hoping Chaewon’s answer mirrored Jinsol’s.

When they arrived, her wife’s smile was wide and full. She hoped the reason Chaewon’s was just as big was not to appease her. It was hard to distinguish real smiles among royals and Chaewon excelled at holding in her emotions.

“Really great, Mom. We went out for chicken feet and scolded everyone in the park for feeding bread to ducks,” Chaewon answered, placing the game down.

Jungeun chuckled at the response. She could imagine the two of them causing a scene in the park, only to show off that they wielded power so were allowed to do so. 

“We missed you though,” Chaewon whispered, knowing her older mom wouldn’t be brave enough to say it.

Chaewon was last to walk in on Jungeun’s episode, wondering why no one called her down. Taking the handkerchief from Jinsol, she wiped the sweat off her mother’s forehead. She knew everyone didn’t want to overload her with worries. Chaewon had to transition into becoming a queen. The less stress, the smoother the rite.

Chaewon struggled as much as Jinsol even leaving Jungeun alone just for today.

“I missed you both too,” Jungeun replied truthfully, wondering why she couldn’t let her guard down as easily with Jinsol.

Chaewon was just as important to her but with Jinsol, it was like words were crafted and edited. She knew it was the same case with Jinsol about her. But she didn’t know how to stop. It was bred into them since birth to be coy, be stealthy, be vague.

Not what a loving family should be at all.

“Come here, you,” Jungeun outstretched her arms and wasn’t prepared for Chaewon to fall into them quickly, knocking them both backwards.

Jinsol panicked when she didn’t find Jungeun in their bedroom but smiled bittersweetly when she saw her curled up into her sleeping daughter in her room. Flicking the grey stuffed animal off the bed, she joined them in slumber, holding her dear wife from behind and reaching up to brush hair out of her daughter’s face.

All three Jungs succumbed to the weariness of one of their first family bonding day in years.

\---

_“This is so pretty. What song is that?”_

_“Those were lip trills, Heejin,” Haseul nodded down at her two music students as she gave them their first music lessons._

_They were only during warm-ups but Heejin had something to comment on every step of the way whereas Hyunjin glared Haseul’s way whenever Heejin fawned over her singing._

_Once young Chaewon was born, Haseul’s parents would be Chaewon’s music teachers but that’s not to say she couldn’t practice early when she took over the ropes. But something as easy as teaching two kids music wasn’t as smooth-running as she envisioned._

_The royal couple and the seneschal couple had intruded on their lessons, sitting at the far end of the room, promising to keep quiet. Those four and silence never happened. Jinsol was tapping away at the table with Sooyoung joining in to outdo her. Jiwoo’s quiet humming was not as quiet as she wanted. Jungeun was scolding Chaewon for kicking her stomach which then made Jinsol scold her stomach too which made Jiwoo start a tirade wondering when she was next to bear children which sent Sooyoung into a coughing fit._

_On her end, Hyunjin was copying her lip trills, trying to impress Heejin by spitting all over the piano._

_“You know what? Why don’t we do this another time?” Haseul muttered._

_“NONSENSE! You were on a roll!” A loud voice bellowed from the far side of the room._

_“We believe in you Haseul!” Another followed._

_“Love you Haseul!”_

_“HASEUL! HASEUL! HASEUL!”_

_More banging on furniture._

_Fighting the blush growing on her cheeks, Haseul dipped her head. It was bait but she knew the comments were genuine. Her brush grew tenfold when a soft voice flowed from behind her._

_“You’re doing great Haseul,” Vivi smiled, embracing the court musician prodigy from behind, getting a series of “oohs” from the two young girls around the piano._

_Falling into her embrace, Haseul felt her confidence overflow at the kind words surrounding her. They weren’t just staff members, employers, and floormates. They were a family._

_And a louder series of "oohs" from the gang across the room brought Haseul out of her reverie as she carried on with the lesson, Vivi not letting her go until the last note was sung. _

\---

Hyejoo sniffed the air, not used to the ocean mist and tropical scents mixing in with the wildlife around her.

Im kingdom fauna wasn’t as plentiful as on the main peninsula and she worried she wouldn’t find any food to get her through this cycle. She should’ve raided the kitchen before she escaped but the princess was performing some eagle dance in the grand hall so thought it was best not to kill her vibe.

Whether she knew it or not, Hyunjin had subliminally helped her, starting her off in the right direction for her transformation. There wasn’t a human in sight and she hadn’t run into any human-made creations besides wells and pipelines.

She thought of telling Hyunjin tonight in case the staff asked for her whereabouts but the hypothetical situation of Hyunjin leaving her on this island and sailing back to the Jungs with juicy life-threatening gossip didn’t sit right with her.

(Hyunjin was in fact, worried. But not so much as she was entertaining the escort the knights sent to her room. She had found out the woman was an avid reader and was asking for summaries of all the books she knew Heejin read so as to dazzle her when they stopped by the Kim kingdom later.)

A sharp pungent smell wafted through Hyejoo’s nose.

In seconds, she found the root of the scent. If she were human, she’d wonder why someone would leave a perfectly good kill out here. No cuts of venison. The blood wasn’t drained. The antlers were intact. Someone shot it for sport and left. If Yerim was there, she would’ve preached animal rights.

Taking her blessings where they lied - literally - Hyejoo dug in, quenching her animalistic side.

It was reminiscent of the times she messily ate in front of her schoolmates at the Jung kingdom but usually the blood was drained from their meat and they had utensils.

And manners.

Howling, her teeth tore into something sharp. Wincing, she clawed at the offensive obtrusion. But when her fingers touched it, she recoiled in pain. With the lack of wolves in this kingdom, she didn’t even think their arrows would be laced with silver.

Her mind would clear in a few days but Hyejoo stowed that observation in the back of her mind so she could piece it together when she was human again. 

\---

_Hyunjin was quick to catch the music stand Chaewon threw across the room as Haseul critiqued her singing again._

_They were presenting their pieces they have been working on for months. Their homework was to produce an original song. That was Haseul’s first mistake._

_Her own sister wrote a song about busters getting popped actually titled “Busters Get Popped.” Next, Yerim wrote a song about her headband self-titled “My Headband.” Heejin didn’t fair well, writing a song about one of her favorite utensils, titled “My Cup.” Then Hyunjin made a satirical piece about her disappointments with today’s generation in a song called “Shaking My Head.”_

_All subjects Haseul was surprised to hear in lyrical form but she loved a challenge._

_What she was getting now with Chaewon’s temper tantrum. Haseul asked her to “feel” the music. Not knowing how, Chaewon sang with the same monotonous tone since music lessons began._

_“I don’t do emotions,” Chaewon crossed her arms._

_Yeojin held in a snort which thankfully didn’t earn her a slap across the back of her head from her classmates._

_“What do you mean, you don’t do emotions?” Haseul rubbed her temples._

_Vivi had given them a lesson about emotions last year. She taught them all humans felt them so Chaewon shouldn’t have been an exception. She was as human as everyone in the classroom._

_“Princesses aren’t supposed to show emotions,” Heejin recited, having read the royal manual last month._

_Everyone in the room waited for the outburst to follow. Since Jinsol had started leaving the castle frequently as an honorary knight, Chaewon’s feelings had been all over the place. It was something they tried to hide from Jungeun as she was going through her own emotional journey._

_“Okay,” Haseul took a deep breath, taking a step towards the volatile girl. “For this class, I want you to feel everything you can. Do you know how songs make an impact?”_

_“When they can chart,” Yeojin chided._

_Haseul offered a quick glare before turning to Chaewon who was near tears. Being forced to keep a good face in front of all walks of life just to keep her crown was not something a teenager should have to live through. She saw it with Jinsol growing up and she didn’t want the same for Chaewon._

_Especially when she was her student._

_Especially when it could cost Jinsol and Jungeun their marriage._

_“You wrote a love song right?” Haseul smiled._

_Chaewon nodded._

_Haseul wondered what brought upon a song like that. Chaewon titled her composition “Pretending.” But hearing the words about wondering if someone will ever say the words they’re feeling, she knew Chaewon wasn’t writing about her nonexistent love life but someone else’s. It would take a jester to not know it was directed towards her parents._

_“Just remember why you felt the need to write the song and the feeling will come to you,” Haseul encouraged with a gentle pat to the young woman’s shoulder._

_Chaewon nodded again, glad to have a parental figure in the castle when her own parents were falling apart._

\---

Being a royal meant being good at tuning out other sounds.

Which is how Jungeun stayed asleep as Chaewon and Jinsol greeting each other good morning, not wanting to leave the softness of their bed or the warmth of their shared favorite family member.

“Did you have fun yesterday?” Jinsol whispered.

Chaewon couldn’t remember the last time she woke up with both her parents on her bed. Sometimes, she’d have to sleep by her mother after one of her crying spells. She couldn’t even remember if Jinsol snored, talked in her sleep, or hogged the blanket.

“Of course, Mom. I know I shouldn’t but I would’ve told you how I felt,” Chaewon whispered back.

Jinsol grinned at that. Chaewon was more adept than she was when she was her age. She remembered having to ask her mothers for permission to speak up, even if they insisted she be honest with them. On her last day with Jessica and Hyoyeon, she almost completely opened up to them before the council ruined it all.

It was short-lived bliss and Jinsol wouldn’t let that happen to her family.

“What are we going to do today? Contract signing? Dubbing ceremonies? Litigation presidings?”

At each mention of their royal duties, Jinsol saw Chaewon’s smile drop. Yesterday, the simple task of driving was enough to make her forget about the crown, the staff, and the throne. It was a normal daughter and a normal mother hanging out in a normal carriage with red velvet seats.

“I’m kidding Chaewon,” Jinsol reached over ruffled Chaewon’s hair.

Marinating on Sooyoung’s previous advice, Jinsol knew exactly what they would do today. They’d have to work quickly before Jungeun caught on but like all Jungs, she knew Chaewon inherited their stealth.

Chaewon wouldn’t admit it but she was much as a soft-hearted individual as her mothers, maybe even more. She kept mementos after their warranted use and even if her ideas were outside the realm of possibility, it was with everyone’s best intentions. Like how she wished they could just stay in bed all day, she knew the day’s activities would be calling them.

A small, sleepy groan shut them up as Jungeun curled up, getting both of her favorite girls to follow.

They needed more moments like the day before.

And hopefully this time, with another Jung by their side.

\---

_Hyunjin closed her eyes as another wave of water hit her body. She was barely a meter in and she felt like she was drowning._

_The squeals of joy from the rest of the residents as they swam in the Jung castle pool brought her back. She looked at the commotion around her. Heejin and Yerim were racing from wall to wall with Vivi refereeing. Hyejoo and Chaewon were babbling away in their mothers’ arms as they kept their heads above water. Baby Yeojin was giggling away as Sooyoung, Haseul, and Jinsol were tossing her back and forth much to their partners’ chagrin._

_“Come on Jiwoo, if we drop her, she’ll land in the water!”_

_ “That doesn’t make me feel any better!”_

_“Ooh, you’re in trouble!”_

_“You too Jinsol.”_

_“Sweetheart, come on!”_

_“I wish I had a sweetheart,” Haseul sighed._

_Haseul had informed them that the Bangs were amazing swimmers since birth but she didn’t want to prove it by letting Yeojin fall in in case she was an exception._

_Yerim swam over to her sister, wading effortlessly. Maybe it was because the werewolf genes lost influence at each person being born, Yerim didn’t inherit that ingrained fear of water wolves had. She was letting the water hit her at all angles like it wasn’t burning her at every ripple._

_To Hyunjin, maybe Yerim was an exception too._

_“Come on, Hyun. I’ll hold your hand!”_

_Hyunjin shook her head again, kicking herself for looking weak._

_She was supposed to be the brave one of the bunch. She couldn’t even submerge herself for a quick dunk. Cursing her ancestors, Hyunjin stood her ground. Everyone did look like they were having fun._

_Pouting, Yerim swam off but another member of the castlehold caught the look. For Hyunjin’s sake, it wasn’t a queen in case they grew suspicious._

_“Hyunjin, are you afraid of the water?” Haseul asked hesitantly._

_Hyunjin shook her head but her clenched fists contradicted her._

_Puffing her cheeks up, Haseul grabbed one of the teething rings off the pool’s edge and waved it in Hyunjin’s face. She didn’t have a child of her own but she felt a strong maternal bond with the younger ones in the castle. Yeojin was basically her own as her parents were on another tour._

_“I have no biting problems anymore, thanks though,” Hyunjin deadpanned. She could tell which one was Yeojin’s as the kid had somehow taken over her biting problem._

_(She doubted Yeojin was a wolf though. With how long that family was in bandages after injuries, she doubted it.)_

_“No, not that. I’m proud of you for that by the way. But,” Haseul grasped for words. “Sometimes, when I have difficulty doing something, I make a game of it so it’s more fun.”_

_Haseul was lying. She didn’t have a problem setting goals and going after it. But Hyunjin was a kid and kids loved games. Haseul smirked as the squire’s eyes darted back and forth as she waved the ring in front of her face._

_Slinging her hand back, she threw the ring towards the other adults in case Hyunjin needed help. In a blink, Hyunjin dived in. Little did they know, Sooyoung and Jinsol were watching the interaction, knowing that if Haseul decided on motherhood, she’d be a natural at it._

_Jiwoo and Jungeun’s screams at the water splashing around them and Hyunjin coming up victoriously with the ring was worth the smile on Haseul’s face._

\---

Jungeun pressed a hand to her heart as she awoke to an empty bed. Whoever had gotten rid of the grey wolf on Chaewon’s bed was a lifesaver. If she awoke with it in her face, it could’ve triggered another attack.

She called out for Jinsol.

She called out for Chaewon.

They were nowhere to be found on the third floor.

Nor the second.

Nor in most of the first.

Crossing over to the shared space they had with the cavalry, an unfamiliar sloshing of water made her quicken her pace. They had skipped out on pipeline barrier checks for the past few years, not thinking that even the slightest of pressure could bring water into their pool again.

But instead of walking into a flood, the residents of the castlehold all waved happily at her. The sand that once filled the pool was scooped out, some of the piles smoothed to give the appearance of a beach shore by one of the pool edges. Yeojin and Yerim were building sand castles.

(Vivi warned Yerim that her head couldn’t possibly be healed by now even if the scarring was a faint line this morning. Yerim wore the bandage for added effect.)

Haseul and Vivi were waiting by the valves to seal the pipeline. Sooyoung and Jiwoo were in tattered swimwear.

“What’s going on?”

A shy Chaewon and a wary Jinsol stepped in front of her, unsure how to tell Jungeun about their gameplan.

And how they got water to flow into the castle pool again.

“You left the castle,” Jungeun pouted, knowing the full moon was still underway.

Jinsol could handle herself. The second blockade to the castle could only be opened down by the tributary opening which meant someone had to ride off into the woods to open it. There were rumors wolves awaited their transformation in their empty pipeline and she didn’t want to think about Jinsol reigniting that aggressive part of her if she came across a stray wolf.

Or worse, a pack of them.

“Chaewon didn’t follow. Promise. I had her command the knights to dig out the sand so we could surprise you,” Jinsol cheesed, hoping Jungeun would see past the negatives to see what she was doing for her.

For them.

“We wanted to have another family day,” Chaewon squeaked, gesturing to the now-filled Jung castle pool. “This time, with you.”

Chaewon had similar worries that that side of Jinsol would make a comeback but when her mother rode in beaming, a clean sword in its shield, she was glad to still have her mom back.

Jungeun darted her eyes between them and pulled them in close, feeling normal once again.

\---

_Jungeun couldn’t believe Jinsol didn’t just get her her own bedroom._

_But a pool._

_An entire pool._

_She thought the earrings were enough but apparently, Jinsol was bribing her with everything expensive and ostentatious. Crossing her arms as she stepped into her spa room, she took a seat on the lush seats before her._

_She wouldn’t deny that they were kind of nice._

_Swallowing her thoughts, Jungeun shook her head again._

_This was all just a ploy to get her to sleep with her. But then why did Jinsol get her her own room? Confused, Jungeun cupped her face and screamed into her palms._

_What she didn’t expect was the court musicians’ kid to be looking in on her from the doorway._

_“Haseul right?” Jungeun remembered._

_Haseul smiled and gestured if she could sit beside her. Jungeun scooted over. It wasn’t her house anyway so she couldn’t grant anyone permission anymore._

_“Tell me this is the last of her gifts,” Jungeun pleaded._

_Part of her wanted to believe Jinsol was being genuine but the other remembered that they didn’t choose each other. Jinsol had no right to love her. What better person to ask then Jinsol’s best friend._

_“If I said yes, would you believe me?” Haseul whispered, hoping Jinsol was still asleep and none of the many servers in the castle would hear her._

_Jungeun shook her head, knowing there was probably another room in the estate just for her._

_“Why?”_

_Haseul scrunched her face up. Did the new queen not know that Jinsol had been head over heels for her since their first meeting? It was a rarity in royal relationships as she remembered Jinsol’s parents wanted nothing to do with each other at the later stages of their relationship. Jungeun’s parents were respectful co-parents more than lovers, which is what their newest transfer knight Sooyoung said._

_She could have sworn when Jinsol wasn’t looking, Jungeun eyes softened at every little thing the Jung queen did._

_But she wouldn’t rat out her lifelong confidante. Jungeun may be her new boss but she wasn’t her friend._

_Yet._

_“She knows you like to swim. So she didn’t want you to lose that part of you,” Haseul watched a mix of changes happen in Jungeun’s face, leaving her to read between the lines in her biggest (but not last) wedding gift._

\---

“How did you not get that Jinsol was in love with you at that? Haseul basically gave it away,” Sooyoung jabbed at Jungeun, splashing her lightly.

“Listen…” Jungeun whipped her hand out of the water and waved a finger, forgetting how much of a hassle Sooyoung was when it came to teasing her. But her scolding was stopped short as she felt a warm breath behind her.

“It’s only me, my love,” Jinsol warned.

The other residents pretended not to notice Jinsol’s consideration to keep Jungeun’s condition in check.

Embracing her wife from behind, Jinsol kissed her exposed shoulders, which she loved. Any part of Jungeun really. Her lips were shivering, coming from a race against the younger castle members with Yerim refereeing from the pool edge. Yeojin was a surprisingly good swimmer even after not visiting the beach for years. But Jungeun didn’t seem to mind her lover’s cold touch.

“We were just discussing how Haseul was your wingwoman,” Jiwoo smiled as Sooyoung hugged her too, not wanting to be one-upped by their friends.

Feeling left out, Haseul looked over at Vivi who was standing by herself. She did look a little lonely. And her arms did wrap nicely around her waist too whenever they hugged out of the water.

The Jung family was falling back in with each other. The timing was terrible that their own “child” had already moved out but it was time the Bang-Wong family did the same.

Walking over steadily and ignoring Jinsol and Sooyoung sniggering into their wives’ necks, Haseul was overtaken by what could only be described as a tidal wave.

“CHAEWON!”

“COME ON! I DID THIS ALL THE TIME WHEN I WAS SMALL!”

“FIRST OF ALL, YOU’RE STILL SMALL. AND SECOND OF ALL, YOU GOT YOUR MOTHER WET!”

“IT’S A POOL, MOM. SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE!”

Haseul hung her head low as a sputtering Vivi made her way out of the pool.

Defeated, Haseul used her pent up energy to dunk a giggling Jiwoo and Sooyoung while the Jung family took turns splashing each other.

\---

_Haseul ducked as a carriage door flew over her head, splitting into pieces on the lawn._

_“That’s one way to test for wolf attacks,” the court musician mused under her breath._

_It was unfortunate that Hyunjin took on the task of reinforcing the new carriages, knowing she was traumatized by the last carriage incident with the Has and her parents. Hyunjin would’ve joined in the quest to scour the woods for missing Jung kingdom citizens but Jinsol insisted she take in-home assignments until her mind was cleared._

_Seething as this carriage easily fell apart in her hands, Hyuning let out a gut-wrenching scream._

_Haseul approached Hyunjin cautiously._

_Since her parents’ death, all Haseul could think about was how she was reprimanded by them during their family day in the Jung castle pool. They weren’t pleased with her treating Hyunjin like a dog and playing fetch in the water, even if it got her to enter the deep end._

_The incident was years ago and the pool was being drained this afternoon but it still made Haseul wary with her future advice-counseling with the new knight._

_“Hyunjin…”_

_“WHAT?!” Hyunjin lashed out, bowing apologetically when she saw who it was,_

_Even if their lives had been turned around, life went on. Birthdays, coronations, festivals, troupe auditions. Haseul almost forgot about the upcoming audition if it wasn’t for the flyer Heejin left in the reading room. Relocating her grief elsewhere, Haseul focused on her music._

_She wasn’t suppressing her emotions, only giving it a proper avenue to express it in._

_As the newly appointed teacher, alongside Vivi, Haseul was crafting the perfect music class syllabus. One lesson in particular: emoting through lyrics, was relatable. Every song she had in mind made her think of her fallen friends and coworkers and in grim thought, it could earn her the troupe spot if she harnessed it wisely._

_“I was wondering if you’d like to accompany me to the village pub for troupe auditions tonight.”_

_Hyunjin crinkled her eyebrows. Why her? Why now? Couldn’t Haseul see she was working?_

_But seeing the small stature of the woman, one that could easily break in half at the jaws of the ferocious beasts that claimed her parents (and if she trained harder, in her hands as well), Hyunjin remembered her duty to protect all the castle residents._

_Haseul hoped this distraction would help Hyunjin alleviate her grieving process. She didn’t even think she saw the girl shed a tear yet. Yerim still hasn’t stopped crying and they might have to replace her pillows soon. Dropping one of the carriage wheels, Hyunjin accepted the assignment and went in to freshen up for tonight’s festivities._

\---

Hyejoo was glad Queen Nayeon had an addiction to juice as it washed down the stench of blood and carnage from her breath as she toppled in for morning breakfast.

Rationalizing herself for a jog in the woods, no one thought of anything out of the ordinary, only concerned if she had a run-in with a wolf that had somehow settled in their kingdom. Their lack of meatier game had helped kill off the wolf population naturally, but they were still on their toes until the council announced the full extermination of all wolves.

To say Hyunjin was surprised as she walked in was an understatement. The moon hadn’t been fully tucked away yet and here Hyejoo was.

“Good morning, Hyejoo?”

Awed that Hyejoo was able to transform back so smoothly even before her body clock had recalibrated. Only a creature with great control would be able to do that. Sooyoung and Jiwoo either had extra help to train Hyejoo or Hyejoo was a newer breed.

From the wolves Jinsol and her slaughtered, they could still kill into the early hours of the morning following a full moon. Some werewolves didn’t have the discipline to transform back to civil people, staggering into their homes with abnormal facial hair and hunched backs.

“Good morning, Hyunjin.”

But here Hyejoo was before the sun rose, conversing with the royals like she didn’t nearly deplete their deer population the past weekend.

But she did have help. It was a buffet out there and now that the fog in her mind had lifted, she needed to have a talk with Hyunjin.

“Join us, Knight Hyunjin,” Queen Jeongyeon waved over, ignoring their awkward greetings, loading up Hyunjin’s plate. “We were talking about if you two would like to disembark right after breakfast. The waters would be safe and it would be noon by the time you land.”

Hyejoo looked up with Hyunjin with wary eyes, hoping she wasn’t curious as to why they didn’t bond the past few days. Did she check in on her? Were they at the level of their relationship to constantly check in on each other? Or did Hyunjin not bother to knock on her door when she was gone?

Maybe they weren’t as close as she believed.

Or closer than she wanted as Hyunjin clearly knew a deep-rooted secret of hers.

“Even if you run into trouble, I’m sure you can defend yourselves with those fancy silver arrows you have,” Queen Nayeon commented, working on another cup of juice. “Dahyun, what did I tell you about putting your foot behind your head at the table?”

Hyunjin had a soft spot for the princess as she reminded her of Yerim often with how goofy they could be.

Huffing, Dahyun put her foot down.

And Hyejoo metaphorically put hers down as well, staring as the source of her dead meals the past three days gobbled down her breakfast across the table.

\---

_“Next up, we have Haseul hailing from the Jung estate.”_

_“She doesn’t look blonde.”_

_“Oh, she’s not royal, sir.”_

_The man in the black hat sneered as the young woman stood before them. His beady eyes and sunken face told a story Haseul didn’t want to read. She had prepared to perform in front of the troupe leader and maybe their first chair in a private room. But not for it to be publicized to every villager that squeezed into the tiny pub. Taking her place on stage, she squinted at the blinding chandeliers. All candles were lit for the marketable occasion, adding onto her fright._

_Water sounded like a good idea right now and she wished she had the power to conjure up something to cure her parched throat._

_People were unruly with their side comments and she witnessed some people running to their horses in tears after they sang. And the troupe leader did nothing to stop them, swayed by majority vote and ruckus._

_But Haseul saw a large hand making a thumbs up at one of the front tables, knowing who it was without needing to see her face. Asking her to come would prove beneficial later - maybe to Haseul more - but it affected both their lives from then on._

_“And what will you be singing for us today?” _

_“‘F-f-friday’ by Lee kingdom’s court musician Jieun.”_

_“It’s actually Thursday today but go ahead,” the troupe company leader chortled as if he told the funniest joke._

_Haseul tried not to look upset as she hugged her coat close to her. It smelled of home, where she knew her voice was loved and appreciated._

_Which is what she hoped for as she opened her mouth to give the performance of a lifetime._

\---

The last time this room had been used for recreation for three days in a row, Haseul wasn’t cursed.

As a new gush of water flowed in, replacing yesterday’s supply, the castlehold waited in various stages around the revitalized spa room. In their usual cliques and cohorts, the Jung family, with all three members present, was a pleasant and welcome surprise.

The last time they had been that close, again Haseul wasn’t cursed.

Jinsol made a convincing drawbridge opening creak sound, entertaining Jungeun and creeping out Chaewon, as they finished their replica of some of the fortresses on their side of the world. It made Jungeun miss the days she could visit these castles in person but as she felt her stress wash away each day they connected as one, she hoped those days would be soon.

Their clothes were sandier than a royal’s should be and their laughs less contained, but they couldn’t care less about the loud and proud emotions they were exhibiting today.

“And on the left side, there was a secret path that led to the village.”

“That’s how the escorts got by, right?”

Jungeun snorted at Jinsol’s jaw dropping. They had to remember that Chaewon wasn’t a baby anymore.

But she was still theirs.

Even if Jinsol whined as Chaewon wore the skimpiest of shorts for the indoor beach day.

(She was raised conservatively by the council, please excuse her.)

“Um...yes...that is correct,” Jinsol looked to her wife for help.

She couldn’t recall if she had given their little one the talk and she certainly did not want it to be around Yeojin insisting there was buried treasure in the sand dunes and Haseul losing badly in an arm wrestling contest with Sooyoung.

“But I never used them. The path, not the escorts. No, I did but…” Jungeun rose a playful eyebrow as Jinsol dug herself deeper and deeper. “Not like...that. You know. Just friendly, platonic things.”

The silence that befell them was marked by Jiwoo and Vivi working together to close the valve to close the pipeline. It didn’t last long as Jungeun and Chaewon fell into a fit of giggles, making Jinsol’s blush deepen.

“Sweetheart, please, it’s not that serious,” Jungeun consoled with a hand over her mouth.

“We know you love Mom too much to do that,” Chaewon added, receiving a high five from her less-confused mother.

Jinsol’s pout disappeared when Jungeun leaned over and kissed her softly, giggling against each other’s lips. Fighting the urge to deepen the kiss, she held tightly onto Jungeun’s hand grazing her jaw. Sneaking in another peck, Jinsol regretted not letting the moment last longer.

So did Jungeun.

“What are you going to use that for?” Jinsol held in a growl at the wretched stuffed beast Chaewon whipped out of nowhere.

(Yerim picked up on the statement and scratched at her bandage nervously.)

“Well the castle is empty,” Chaewon shrugged, placing the overhugged stuffed wolf in the middle of the castle.

Jungeun darted her eyes between her oblivious daughter, making cute dog whimpers, and her wife who was quickly becoming the person she hoped she left behind on the fencing mat. Reaching out for Jinsol, her heart shattered as she felt Jinsol’s hands weren’t open and accepting but balled into fists.

Was this what she looked like when she was changing out of character, when she was spiralling into a person she didn’t want to become?

“It doesn’t belong in a castle, Chaewon,” Jinsol seethed through gritted teeth, hoping not to cause a scene.

(Vivi had picked up on Yerim’s discomfort and was leading the rest of the castehold to a word association game, sending Yeojin out to get supplies.)

Chaewon’s head snapped up.

It was looking in a mirror.

Except Jungeun wasn’t seeing herself in her beautiful daughter’s face but she saw Jinsol. The same anger Jinsol had directed towards the lycan kind. The same distaste she had towards discussions of assimilation. The same rage she had whenever commoners called Jungeun crazy.

All of it was in Chaewon’s face.

“What do you mean, ‘it doesn’t belong in a castle?’”

A deep breath spewed out but they weren’t sure which Jung it came from or if it was from all three.

“I meant it the way I said it. Don’t tell me you think these monsters are just as deserving as people.”

One of their sandcastle walls caved in. 

“But is that not what they are when the moon isn’t full, Mom?” Chaewon barked back.

To Jinsol’s pleasure, the sand buried the wolf in.

“Name me one werewolf that deserves to be here with us.”

Jinsol couldn’t believe her daughter right now. She may not have been born yet but those creatures did a number on Jungeun and her family. Were those nights of Jungeun’s crying and screaming worth integration? They were the reason why it took almost a decade for them to have this type of vacation again.

And they weren’t even off the royal premises to enjoy it because of them too.

“I would but you’ve killed most of them.”

There was a reason why emotions should be handled maturely. Not hidden behind closed doors or disguised as something palatable. Royals never were the best at handling their feelings, keeping them at bay for most of their human interactions.

Chaewon didn’t know where her outburst stemmed from.

Neither did Jungeun.

And Jinsol didn’t want to know.

Unfortunately for them, Vivi and Yerim weren’t able to drown out the last few statements of their arguments, waiting with baited breath to see what would happen next.

The last time the royal family fought like this, was never.

Yeojin couldn’t pick a better time to interrupt as she strolled in, red envelope in her still-bandaged hand. The silence in the room was deafening but it was too late to hide the letter.

Reverting back to her public figure, Jinsol straightened her posture, unable to meet her daughter’s eyes right now. And unable to accept her wife’s touch.

Jungeun took a moment to collect herself but clenched her jaw professionally.

Chaewon didn’t bother.

“What is it, Yeojin?” Haseul beat them to it, not sure it was wise any Jung said anything until they got a grip on their sentiments.

Overcome with shock, Yeojin had her quietest announcement yet. 

“It’s the Kim kingdom…”

\---

_“An attack? But that can’t be. Wolves are almost extinct,” Haseul reasoned as Vivi hastily packed up her emergency supplies kit._

_She didn’t have an official kit for this occasion because this wasn’t feasible. How could that population have multiplied to the point of attacking multiple roads and kingdoms at once? The pounding of commoners at the gates to be let in as refuge was drowning out the rest of the panicked staff’s voices rushing up and down._

_“Vivi, you cannot possibly go out at a time like this,” Haseul begged and Vivi put some sort of amulet around her neck, hopefully imbued with wolf repellant._

_Vivi might be able to save people from werewolf bites but could she fight one? All Haseul has seen her wield is a butcher knife._

_But she wasn’t the only one on her knees as Jinsol hastily fastened her scabbard, needing to see if the Ha family and her most trusted knights were okay._

_“What if they’re safe but you’re not?!” Jungeun screamed, holding Jinsol desperately from behind. _

_Vivi and Haseul turned away but couldn’t drown out Jungeun’s sobs and Jinsol struggling to keep it together. Other nosy staff members milling about were watching them like a theatre show._

_Royals and tears were a rare combination._

_But the two at least had the decency to at least not look at them._

_“I don’t want to but I have to,” Jinsol’s voice cracked. “If I’m the only royal that doesn’t check the wellbeing of my people, it will only hurt us more. I don’t even want to take Vivi with me but it’s her job.”_

_“Take me with you,” Jungeun whimpered, slumping against Jinsol’s body._

_Jinsol pathetically pried Jungeun’s hands off of her, turning around to take her wife into her arms. _

_“Sweetheart, you know what that’ll do and I’m not strong enough to lose you again.”_

_She meant mentally and emotionally, when Jungeun was still a Kim and Jinsol was the only one smitten, but if she were to lose her physically as well, she wouldn’t know how to survive._

_Sobbing against each other, the garments from Chaewon’s birthday party soiled and ruined, the curious stares their way only grew._

_Jinsol kissed everywhere she could, wanting nothing more than to take all of those feelings of fear and dread away from Jungeun and toss them to the wolves._

_“Auntie?” Three meek voices cried out._

_“Mom?” A smaller voice followed._

_Shutting their emotions off like clockwork, Jinsol and Jungeun stooped low to make eye contact with the youngest residents in the castle._

_“You girls be good, okay?” Jinsol commanded, needing to wrap this up quickly. She needed to ride off before a mob formed, making it harder for her to pass through without putting the entire castle at stake._

_Especially not Jungeun who didn’t need to go through this a second time._

_“Are you going to fight the beasts, Mom?” Chaewon questioned, her eyes big with curiosity and fear._

_The princess wanted to know why they were crying in the open as she was taught that queens shouldn’t cry in public. She didn’t even know her parents could cry to this extent._

_Jinsol only nodded, knowing her voice would betray her if she kept talking. She needed to don her monarchal persona. Chaewon would learn about how to do that soon enough. Pressing a quick kiss to Chaewon’s forehead and a long one to Jungeun’s, Jinsol nodded over to Vivi to begin their descent._

_Vivi nodded in understanding and gave Haseul a pleading look, hoping she wouldn’t make it difficult on her as well._

_“Please look out for each other,” Haseul meekly said, unsure if she could say anything else that might jeopardize Vivi’s concentration._

_She only hoped Vivi could shut down like Jinsol to carry out their rescue mission._

_Jungeun and Haseul piled the rest of the girls in Jungeun and Jinsol’s room, it being the furthest from the woods and the few rooms without a balcony. Haseul’s own parents were keeping the party guests entertained and taken care of in the ballroom. Thankfully, Haseul had attended school with Jinsol growing up and was able to switch off that worried-parent part of her to make sure the kids were okay._

_She looked over at Jungeun who was in another world and gathered the kids in close, channeling her inner performer._

_“What story should I tell?” Haseul put on her showface._

_Thankfully, they bought it._

_“Sirens!” Yeojin shot her hand up._

_“Vampires!” Yerim gestured by pointing at her unusually sharp canines._

_“Ninjas!” Her daughter Heejin requested._

_They all looked over Chaewon who was staring at her mom from across the room, walking over to swaddle her up in blankets, just like how her mom taught her to do. Her mother had secretly told her about how her mom had gone through a phase, but still reminding her that it didn’t change who she was. But the young princess didn’t think she’d get to witness it._

_(And she would, for years and years.)_

_“Werewolves,” the birthday girl decided, sneering bitterly at the barricaded door. “I want to know about werewolves.”_

\---

Hyejoo and Hyunjin were navigating the ship better than the captain. The sooner they got to shore, the quicker they could make it to the Kim kingdom (where Hyunjin wanted to go), then the quicker they could make it back to the Jung kingdom (where they both wanted to go).

Skies hazier than when they left, their enhanced night vision was proving effective.

They were about to wrap around the Kim kingdom bend at any second.

Hyejoo knew that Hyunjin knew why she could traverse without much light. But why was Hyunjin excelling at it as well? And why did Hyunjin help her during the moon cycle? All questions she couldn’t ask with a third party on board who was doing less captaining than their prior trip.

A watery clunk made them look overboard. A piece of wood thudded against the side of the boat, Hyunjin reaching over to cast it away.

But she needed to do that with another piece.

Then another.

Then another.

Until they realized all around them was debris.

Human-made debris.

Hyunjin grabbed a hold of the wheel as they steered the boat away but the chunks of wood kept pushing them towards their destination they weren’t sure they wanted to visit now.

“What is that?” Captain Nagyung squinted yonder, her hand shaking as she unfolded her map to make sure they were on the right path.

An orange light shone in the distance.

But the sun couldn’t have risen yet.

And it shouldn’t have been rising where the shore would be.

And it was higher than where the sun would’ve been.

A sound pierced through the air.

But it wasn’t a rooster’s crow.

Or a trumpet’s morning fare.

Or even a siren’s call.

Hyunjin looked over to see if Hyejoo was ignorant enough to make that sound with a human on board. But Hyejoo’s lips were sealed tight.

That wolf howl came from the direction of the glowing light. Which was only increasing in size, even as they were trying to sail further from it.

The real sun rose steadily, but it didn’t blind the harsh orange light that was making itself more apparent. More violent and less contained. It was flickering yellow. Then orange. Then red.

Then black.

But the black color was floating through the air unpleasantly, emitting a burning stench that reached the passengers. The haze was smoke this whole time. Unable to hide the feeling of suffocation, they gagged at the intruding smell. 

Ash fell. 

Another howl.

More smoke.

More debris.

This time, the varnished wood surrounding the boat had a royal seal.

They couldn’t prevent the feeling of heartbreak as realization washed over them. Powerless to hide the panic setting in, Hyunjin and Hyejoo couldn’t hide the anguish on their faces.

The Kim kingdom had been attacked.

  


**NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: NEXT NEW MOON**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q (ourtuneisohigh): Well...here we go. That's all I have to say. My apologies for the late update but it's still the full moon cycle so a small win. Flashbacks were reconfigured for this chapter because we missed Haseul that much. But we were able to work it into the plot well. (We think.) Again, send us your comments and inquiries and thanks for the support. I got snow, hail, and flood warnings just last week and I hope your area is safe and warm. [Twitter](https://twitter.com/0TlSH)
> 
> N (LazyNinja): Buckle up everyone, it's about to be a bumpy ride. Thanks again for reading the story, we apologize for being a bit late with this update. We'll try not to make a habit of it but life does get in the way. Thank you for understanding. Missing Haseul vibes were strong with this chapter, we hope we could help put a smile on your face. Hope you all stay safe and take care of yourself. Stay hydrated~ [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_LazyNinja_) | [CC](https://curiouscat.me/_LazyNinja_)


	15. Chaotic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Format as follows:**
> 
> _Italics: Past_  
  
Straight (but really gay): Present  
****  
  
**[TW: VIOLENCE]**  


The wolf

Latin: _canis lupus_

Unlike most land mammals, this majestic creature hunts in packs. They are social predators who prey on herbivores, eating occasional secondary consumers if the pack is large enough. They can achieve speeds up to fifty to sixty kilometers per hour, maintaining such speed for almost half an hour. They can hear up to sixteen kilometers in the open and are quick to detect slight movements. The wolf is very comfortable in the water and can swim almost thirteen kilometers with the small ebbing between their toes.

Now add a human into the equation and that throws the entire anatomy out of the loop. Given the torture against wolves centuries ago has unfortunately been psychologically passed down generation to generation for some.

Hyunjin spit out another mouthful of water as she doggy paddled to the Kim kingdom shores where she hoped, prayed, and wished it wasn’t as bad as her initial impression.

But as she woefully swam closer, the howls became louder, the snarls became sharper, the fire became larger, the smoke billowed higher. Was most of the damage caused by humans, wolves, descendants, or a mixed breed with capabilities greater than her own?

Another wave washed over her, sweeping her off course, the mix of ash and salt stinging her eyes and drying her throat. The murky waters that once shone a see-through blue kept her away for longer.

She should have spent more family days in the spa, developing her swimming skills.

She should have spent her free days with her loved ones working on other talents, like breath control, rather than taking on extra missions to ensure the safety of her aunt Jinsol.

She should have done so many things to get to the Kim kingdom in time.

But nothing would prevent an event decades of karmic points have cashed in on, changing the fate of many citizens, knights, and royals for years to come.

\---

_“She’ll come. Don’t fret,” a harmonious voice cleansed the tense air._

_“You don’t know that,” a jittery woman whined back, gulping in all the air the room could supply._

_New kingdom teachers Vivi and Haseul had their first lessons today with ten-year-old Princess Chaewon. The council cut funds to the arts and things they found impractical like healthcare. As kingdom doctor and court musician, their jobs were on the line. But Jinsol and Jungeun mitigated their resignations and appointed them as official kingdom teachers, saving money for their former castle instructor’s travels and temporary stays in the castle._

_(They despised his methods of never allowing his students to flourish unless they were anonymous and Chaewon wanted to banish him. Two wolves, one stone.)_

_Vivi would be representing her faction. Haseul: her entire family. She needed to do well so Yeojin and her parents could sleep blissfully in the safety of these castle walls for many nights to come._

_But Chaewon was nowhere in sight. Haseul could feel her clammy hands soaking the lesson plans she had been working on all weekend. Vivi had been busy handling other needs in the village but Haseul was gracious enough to take over the agenda for the first week. A comforting hand on her shoulder softened her up._

_The door creaked and entered another young girl. She wasn’t the stubborn, but sweet princess they expected but Vivi and Haseul couldn’t stop their smiles from growing. Anyone would smile under this magnetic girl’s doting grin_

_Jungeun and Jinsol must’ve set her up as their first student, free from the restrictions Jaden had to teach royal blood only. Maybe Chaewon would stay in school if she learned among friends._

_Her friend._

_Their first student._

_And to Vivi and Haseul, their first girl._

_By adoption and now, by class roster._

_“Welcome to school, Heejin.”_

\---

If the Jung-Dong-Bang-Wong-Ha family was spending quality time together moments ago, the evidence of it would have been long gone by now.

The castle’s great chamber and courtyard was ablaze with knights, squires, merchants, blacksmiths, silversmiths, ironsmiths, horse wranglers (all who Yerim watched warily), doctors, nurses, and apprentices all preparing aid to the fallen Kim kingdom.

Even Yeojin was given orders to prepare herself if she was drafted after a low headcount. 

(Haseul pretended not to be nervous.)

From the second story, Sooyoung swallowed a lump in her throat as she looked below at the courtyard of knights she could’ve had under her command. Jiwoo didn’t miss her wife’s change in demeanor but they would talk about it once the castle was a bit quieter. Even with one member of their trio missing, at least their family wasn’t in disarray.

Amidst the masses, the once reunited Jung family were swept up in their roles reviewing emergency protocols before they signed off on sending their best people to protect the human race. Jinsol was attending to milaristic needs, hunched over an updated map to show the best routes in and out of the kingdoms. Chaewon was exercising the sliver of power she had, sanctioning rations based on the supplies the kingdom had ready now, wielding her competence by checkmarking boxes and writing numbers. Jungeun was consulting the health aids, each of the doctors looking at the queen skeptically, like she shouldn’t have the authority to give orders in her state.

(Thankfully, the revered Healer Vivi was by her side, nodding along to everything Jungeun said to boost her jurisdiction.)

The atmosphere was tense because of their previous argument-

No, disagreement.

A small disagreement. A minor difference of opinions. Like pineapple on pizza or cheese in ramen.

Overriding any, for lack of a better term, animalistic feelings the Jungs had in their tiny spat, they had to put on their game face for the kingdom.

Lives depended on it.

Their sanity depended on it.

Their family depended on it.

“Wonder how many pills she took to tell us all of that?”

Jinsol clenched her jaw - trying not to remind herself of the time she clenched it after her sweet daughter’s last sentence to her. The judgement came from one of the nurses checking their bags.

“Heard she can’t sleep without some sort of serum. What a freak.”

Jinsol picked up bits and pieces of everyone’s conversation, donning her queenly demeanor, checking on the status of all the kingdom’s employees. Who was ready, who wasn’t, who still needed time to gather their bearings. What she was more worried about was the wellbeing of her wife (and deep down, her daughter) as the citizens let their true colors fly. With chaos and fear comes a lack of filter - something her daughter lacked as well - and Jinsol was not liking anything she was hearing. 

“Maybe we should do a mental evaluation ourselves. Being holed up in here for that long is something I’ve never heard a queen do.”

Jinsol may have lost her decorum in the spa room but she would not do so in the presence of these people. These commoners were degrading Jungeun like she was out of her mind, like she was unfit for the throne.

“Queen of what?”

Like she was an untamed animal.

“Crazyland?”

Seeing a flash of Jungeun’s red gown, Jinsol opened her mouth to call out to her. Wanting to make sure she was okay. That nothing the people were saying held validity. She had struggles that couldn’t be solved with a shot or a pill but it didn’t make her any less of a queen.

Any less of a person.

“If I was the queen, I would leave her.”

Jinsol turned around ready to silence whoever would say something so outlandish and offensive and completely unfounded but she was lost among the sea of people.

The sea of people Jungeun deserved to be a part of just like any other human.

\---

_“Which brings us to the untimely deaths of Queens Hyelim and Yubin…” Moon kingdom Head Knight Jongup recited to the new inductees._

_Jinsol was the oldest student there and the only one coming from royal blood. Squires around her bowed their heads every time she glanced their way, thinking she was there to audit the knight training program. Instructor Jongup was shaking the pointer he was holding as he pointed at the blown up scale of the map._

_He felt like if he said the wrong thing, Jinsol would have his head._

_And she sort of did._

_While he itemized facts and locations and death counts, Jinsol could only remember the secondhand memories Jungeun had told her of the tragedy._

_How one wolf was imprisoned as collateral for Jungeun’s condition. Jiwoo had thankfully did quite a number on it, making it easy for knights to track it down and bring it into custody. Even in a human form, it didn’t say anything. Not giving up where it’s pack or others like it were hiding, what its strengths and weaknesses were, nor even what its plans were. It would simply sit in it’s cell scowling at anyone who dared look it’s way._

_Jinsol, being two kingdoms away, didn’t get to sit in on these trials but the brief encounter she had with it, getting a tour of the castle from her future mother-in-laws, she would rather erase it from her memory. In particular it's haunting red hued eyes that glared at her. Why store something useless?_

_Locked into a silver barred chamber Vivi, Sooyoung, and Jiwoo impressively constructed, Jungeun passed through one moon cycle without losing her human status. But the cause for celebration was cut short. The wretched things’ packmates raided the party, destroying everything and everyone in their midst. The gated room proved effective for saving Jungeun and her closest friends, including a newborn Heejin. If only her mothers were in the room as well but per councils demand, they were to be on the other side of the castle in case Jungeun did transform. _

_For their safety from their own daughter, they lost their lives to monsters._

_“And that’s the end of that, moving onto the Great Attack,” Jongup wrapped up, his voice lacking of sympathy to what he just recounted._

_No, it was not the end of that._

_Jungeun was still suffering the repercussions of that attack. There was no end because Jungeun would relive the night of her attack, the night of her mothers’ attack, the night of her kingdom’s attack, and the night of her best friend and her family’s disappearance over and over._

_It may have an end in the history books but not to Jungeun._

_Before Jinsol could raise her hand - and practically stop Jongup’s heart in his chest - he wrapped up his recent history lesson with something Jinsol could agree on._

_“We may all agree that this war is far from over.”_

\---

According to the history her mothers have told her, it wouldn’t have been the first time in this century that this monarchy fell due to her lycan ties.

The rookie knight had scenarios mentally sketched out of what she would face if ever called for duty. A flurry of artillery between two warring kingdoms. A bar fight that tripled in size due to strong allegiances on both sides. A cat stuck in a tree. A burning hut. An emergency evacuation.

But not a whole wolf pack attacking an entire kingdom.

The helmet she wore wasn’t thick enough to hide the smell of burning wood, brick, flesh.. and fur. A scent she herself exuded when her transformation peaked. But on fire, it was vile. And unfortunately, she was running towards it.

Hyejoo growled to herself as she ran through the woods, closer to the source of the fires springing up in the Kim kingdom. As her heart pounded through her chest, Hyejoo could feel her nonhuman instincts kick in. Her ears tuned into every crinkle of leaves, every whoosh of air, every change in smell. 

She was furious.

Not only did her right hand leave her alone on a boat so she can act like a knight in shining armor.

(Which she was.)

She left her to fend for herself like she was capable of taking on whatever or whoever attacked the Kim kingdom without a commander.

(Which she would come to find out, she was.)

While she was sure she’d give Hyunjin a swift punch (using her human strength) for acting outside their required line of duties, she couldn’t judge her for her hasty movement. Hyunjin told her to get Caption Nagyung to safety and immediately jumped ship. It was like seeing a hound pathetically paddle but Hyejoo’s ears unfortunately picked up a word Hyunjin was repeating over and over like a mantra as she fought her way to the shore.

“Heejin. Heejin. Heejin.”

\---

_“Today we’re going to focus on goals,” Haseul said in her best-teacher persona._

_Which wasn’t any different than her real self, besides the occasional pursing of lips and stroking of her chin as if she was deep in thought. Vivi stifled a giggle behind her hand as she sat at their new shared instructors’ desk._

_“I love football! Wish our women’s team was paid more,” Yerim chimed in._

_“Hear, hear!” Heejin and Yeojin held their cups of water high._

_“No, no, not those kinds of goals. I’m talking about goals in life. Things you want to do in the future. Ten years from now. Five years from now. Next month.”_

_“In the future, I want to eat lunch,” Yeojin finished off, glad physical education wasn’t part of their schedule today. _

_(Vivi would add it to the next semester. Having four out of five of your students asleep before lunch hour wasn’t a good look for them when it came to audits.)_

_“Heejin, what’d you make for lunch?” Yeojin called loudly as if Heejin wasn’t sitting at the table next to her. With an empty chair beside her._

_It would’ve been Chaewon's if she showed up to class. But the entire castlehold knew it was reserved for Hyunjin who was in for a nice surprise to find out she was enrolled into Vivi and Haseul’s Academy._

_“AS I WAS SAYING,” Haseul startled herself by raising her voice, frightening everyone in the room except Vivi who stared at Haseul more intensely than before._

_“I’m going to pass around parchment. Ask for more if you want. And you’re going to write down what you want to do in the future, what you want to be, what you want to become.”_

_Haseul slumped into her chair as her three students scribbled away. Even though Chaewon didn’t show up - Jinsol was on the hunt right now - she would say her first shift teaching wasn’t too bad._

_Attendance went well, even if Yeojin tried to play off that she was both herself and Chaewon. History wasn’t a bore as Heejin had fascinating interjections relating to the many novels she read. Anatomy was interesting as Yerim had more knowledge of animal body systems than anyone knew. They couldn’t correct her on it but they took her word._

_“You did well,” Vivi whispered, still taken aback by Haseul’s brief flare-up._

_(Vivi had many feelings seeing Haseul’s jaw clench and veins protrude in her rolled up button-up but she would sort through that during lunch break.)_

_“You think?” Haseul looked over to her favorite co-worker._

_“I know,” Vivi said, looking out at their students. She’d never seen any of them write as much as she did now and she was proud of Haseul for thinking of activities that revolved around the girls’ favorite topics: themselves._

_They scrawled away, lost in their world of dreams, hopes, and desires._

_All which the two teachers hoped would come true for each of them._

\---

Chaewon rubbed her strained eyes, having had to speed read through many contracts. Licensing, bonding, and insurance paperwork for the many villagers volunteering to help the Kim Kingdom. Some because it’s their duty, others because they had loved ones there.

Just like they did.

Just one person.

But it was enough to shake up the castlehold.

But Chaewon didn’t want to think about who’d be going to check in on their loved one. Did she curse her mother’s staycation for speaking her truths hours before? It would only be a matter of time when Jinsol would have to valiantly step in to lead the Jung kingdom troupe.

Especially since their best knights were outside the now blockaded kingdom walls.

How could her mothers hide their worries about Heejin so well? Chaewon almost felt her heart collapse - Vivi told her that that wasn’t possible if she was still standing - at Yeojin’s shaky announcement.

(_“W-w-what about the Kim kingdom?” Jinsol stuttered, glad Jungeun and Chaewon were there to support her in case she fell over._)

Yerim and Yeojin shared a look as they flanked the princess on both sides as she surveyed the carriages, following her every command to tighten a piece here or shave off a piece there. Chaewon was adept at noticing small details. A Jung quality she inherited. 

(She remembered seeing her mother come in with the most random of trinkets because Jungeun eyed them once during their family trips to the market.) 

Carriage safety wasn’t her area of expertise but anything to get them out of the mayhem wracking their home. People didn’t even flock this much around the castle when they had birthdays - obviously not Vivi’s because they had to pretend it didn’t exist - and holidays - the New Year’s banquet would most likely be cancelled.

Neither of the three wanted to hear what people were saying about Jungeun.

And Jinsol.

And definitely not about werewolves.

(_“Who attacked them? Another kingdom?”_

_“No, reports suspect werewolves are involved.”_)

Yerim knew Chaewon was bitter towards her mother’s line of thinking but as a wolf representative herself, Jinsol had no reason to believe otherwise. The wolves she had met were bloodthirsty and carnal. She had fading bruises and scratches up and down her skin and armor to show that reason was beyond their realm.

“The good ones” were far and few.

After the dawn, Yerim was sure Jinsol’s bias would only deepen.

Yeojin had never come face-to-face with one of their kind so like Jinsol, all she absorbed were from anecdotes. Unlike Yerim and Chaewon, one of her two favorite queens (guess the second one) couldn’t wipe away the tragedy that befell because of werewolves. And neither could Yeojin.

After the dawn, she was unsure if their perspectives would only grow foggier.

“Chae…,” a gruff voice whispered from behind them.

Knowing that voice from anywhere, getting accustomed to hearing it daily, Chaewon faced Jinsol. But rather than seeing a woman scorned, Jinsol looked small. She had seen that look before when Jinsol apologized for her behavior on the piste.

But this time, could she forgive her?

It took no genius to figure out why Chaewon shied away from getting close to Jinsol. She wanted her family to prosper but their opposing opinions on wolves could cost them their reunion.

It did just that.

And now, Jinsol would have to go.

Could they squeeze in a proper apology at a time like this?

“Mom?”

Giving her mother another look, Chaewon’s hawk-like eyes noticed a piece of Jinsol’s outfit that wasn’t there before. A belt Hyunjin wore often and Hyejoo was adding to her outfit of the day. The fashionista in her squinted at how it mismatched the rest of her outfit but not before realizing what this meant.

“Are you leaving?”

Jinsol broke at how Chaewon’s voice faltered. If there was someone who should be feeling guilty, it should be her. She had underestimated that Chaewon would do her own research on wolves and come to her own conclusions. She would never blame Haseul or Vivi for instilling thoughts that wolves were misunderstood or unfortunate like how she’d heard on the streets.

But of course her intelligent daughter would pick up on those thoughts.

And possibly think the same.

But how could she know if she was never home?

She promised Jungeun.

As an annex, also Chaewon.

“Do you want me to go?” Jinsol held her breath.

The two Jungs met eyes and weren’t sure what they wanted Chaewon’s response to be. Would she risk her mother’s reputation for a few more days of awkward avoidance? Would she be selfish for herself and for her mother who was being battered and torn to verbal pieces in there? Would she be a future queen or a loving daughter?

“You should go, Jinsol.”

Both Jungs turned to the person they would’ve never thought would suggest such a thing.

And with such finality.

Jungeun couldn’t fight the tears in her eyes as she brought her two favorite people into an embrace, hoping she was making the right choice for all three of them.

\---

_“Are those all the signs for humans suspected to be wolves, Teacher?”_

_Sera sighed heavily as she wrapped up her last lesson before the full moon. Since news of Jungeun’s attack broke out, not many of her closest staff members wanted to be near the girl. She was already isolated in the castle enough but this made matters worse._

_Kitchen staff would play games to see who’d lose and bring out her meals. Gardeners would hide behind bushes when she went out for strolls. Her swimming instructor faked an illness the kingdom has never heard of._

_At least she had Vivi._

_And her new best friend Jiwoo._

_And her most, trusted knight - even if she fell in the ranks due to “losing” Jungeun that evening - Sooyoung._

_Sooyoung echoed that sigh as she took a look at her best friend’s notes, scribbling madly into her book, noticing small tick marks to see if she herself was exhibiting all those signs. As a treat, Jungeun was allowed to pick the topic of today’s lessons and she wanted to know everything and anything she needed to know about werewolves._

_Everyone knew why._

_Like the rest of the kingdom, Jungeun was terrified that the bite on her back had been deep enough to penetrate into her humanity. This next full moon would tell as she was bitten quite late into the last cycle to experience her first shift. Silver laced bars surrounded her room for preparation._

_Newly smithed silver-arrows were stocked into every knight’s quiver._

_Their favorite teacher consulted her notes once more - both students noticing how she was already half-packed in case the rumors were true - to see if there was a sign she missed._

_Something that would give Jungeun hope that she would be okay after all._

\---

The Kim kingdom, one of the oldest kingdoms on this peninsula, was the archetype of wonderful architecture and culture. They paved the way for kingdoms to take their foolproof blueprint and develop their own kingdoms, paying homage to the cherished historial nation.

But with the streets upheaved, roofs concaved, and the screams of terror from every direction, the kingdom was far from its inspirational image it once had.

Parents looking for their children.

Children looking for their friends.

Lovers looking for their salvation.

Much like Hyunjin was looking for hers.

The wolf descendant’s keen sense of smell wasn’t doing her any favors as the smell of burning flesh, fur, and brick was overpowering.

Yanking her helmet off, she squinted into the blazing city that she used to roam.

In the village square, a buzzing market plaza was the cornerstone of socialization and exchange. It’s where Jinsol and bought a cream from the famous Robyn Fenty. It’s where she would look for little souvenirs for her dear sister. It’s where she would peruse books she thinks Heejin would like but would never buy.

A funeral pyre had replaced the colorful stalls. Werewolves, humans, and in-betweens were tossed into it by knights, squires, and those brave enough to fight. Sacrifices to the survival of humankind. As daylight made its way to the town, few werewolves were turning back to their human forms, screaming for help before their voices were muddled with the crackling flames. Painfully, the other werewolves lacked that control and died as the monster they became.

Hyunjin turned her head away as she could make out faces of every age among the flames. Young children figuring out what they wanted to do for the rest of their life. Retirees thinking they’d be able to go out in peace.

They didn’t ask for this but it was the only way to make sure the remaining citizens of the Kim kingdom survived.

Turning her nose north, she tried again to hone into her senses, tracing a smell she would recognize at first whiff and listening for a sound she could pick out among a chorus.

But the fire was too strong.

The people and former people were too loud.

Heejin was nowhere to be found.

\---

_“The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. Remember to run in a straight line and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark. Get ready. Start.”_

_“Do we have to kill them?” Jinsol huffed as she ran alongside Hyunjin in this ridiculous fitness gram._

_Either the knight was holding back or Jinsol had actually picked up speed. They were more than seventy laps in and she was keeping pace with Hyunjin. It was working in her favor as the bobbing heads of the deciders of her fate kept her going._

_“What do you mean, Aun-Your Highness?” Hyunjin coughed a bit before turning around at the line._

_“I mean, killing seems drastic. Incarceration and rehabilitation seems less messier,” the new inductee ran her mouth off, knowing the council would think otherwise to hush her._

_Even if what she was saying was blasphemous, she was the voice of the people. The council may control her every move but she had far greater rights when it came to speech than anyone there. Jinsol had heard the whispers when she attended knight classes - ironically all scheduled at night. The squires wanted a complete dismantling of the system in place._

_And she would use her voice for goodness._

_“Um...that’s a good suggestion, Your Highness.”_

_But that’s not to say that Jinsol had forgotten the long-lasting grudge she had on the species that took away her wife’s family, her best friend, her best friend’s family, and if Jiwoo was too late, her wife as well._

_She would like no more than to behead every single wolf in her wife’s honor._

_But now that the days were counting down to her knighting, she had to be realistic. Knights ranked lower than queens and by lowering herself, she had to lower her power._

_(Something she hoped her family would understand.)_

_Citizens wanted the wolves gone._

_Her family wanted the wolves gone._

_But could she do it?_

_“Is it hard?” _

_Hyunjin bit her tongue as she thought of how to answer the question. Was it hard killing the kind of people that are part of your family tree? That’s what Yerim once asked her with an attitude but she brushed it off and rode into town, hoping Yerim would forget._

_(She never did,)_

_Why did Jinsol have to go psychological on her? Knight duties were a job. She did what she had to do so she could collect a check and continue her parents’ legacy._

_“We'll find out.”_

_Whatever the move was, Hyunjin and Jinsol wanted it all to stop. If the eradication of all wolves was what was on the council’s agenda, who were they to stop it._

\---

As soon as the cavalry filed out of the ballroom, Sooyoung and Jiwoo made use of the emptiness on this side of the castle and pulled each other into a tight embrace.

The entire day had been difficult to get through and it wasn’t even midday.

They weren’t even sure if they ate with all the ruckus.

As they heard the first wave of carriages flock out, they were relieved none of the family was on it. Jinsol was dressed for the mission but she stood her ground. A stoic Jinsol, an anxious Jungeun, and a stone-faced Chaewon waved them off, thankfully none of them on board.

Before Jiwoo and Sooyoung could ask for an update, the Jung family had gone off to their private quarters, clearly needing to get some things off their chest.

(After that fight in the spa room - now closed off for until further notice, as they immediately shut all water tunnels leading into the kingdom - those three needed to talk.)

Speaking of threes, the two Ha’s worried for their daughter’s safety. Breathing each other in, they caressed each other slowly, trying to massage out the worries they knew the other was feeling. They knew Hyejoo would be boarding the S.S. Fromis the first day after the cycle and that unlike other wolves, their daughter had excellent control turning back. Their boat had probably docked by now. 

They worried about her diet during her cycle but Hyejoo was one of the smartest girls, wolves, and hybrids they knew.

But that’s not to say her journey, which would unfortunately have a stopover at the Kims at Hyunjin’s request, would have a rude rerouting.

“What are you thinking about, my love?” Sooyoung brushed Jiwoo’s hair back, seeing the worry lines deepen since Yeojin’s announcement.

“Hyejoo…” Jiwoo whispered into her wife’s chest, tucking herself into the crook of her neck.

Jiwoo could see the regret as Sooyoung looked out towards the knights getting suited up for the mission. They both made sacrifices for their family and she wanted Sooyoung to know that knighted or not, she would love her.

(And now that they were growing into their domestic life, Jiwoo preferred the “not” side more.)

Sooyoung nodded, squeezing her wife tighter.

“...And Hyunjin.”

Especially since Hyejoo struggled with her emotions, they hoped she’d be able to console Hyunjin if the worst happened. Only being a part of this family again for a couple of weeks, they knew one loss would devastate them. 

“The girl who just learned my name?”

Heejin’s transfer had allowed Hyunjin to clear her mind. Addressing people more as she made her way down the halls, an extra skip in her step. When she called after “Aunt Sooyoung” and “Aunt Jiwoo,” promising Hyejoo’s safe return, Sooyoung had to look off into the distance to hold in tears of joy.

Jiwoo turned her head up to her wife and a small smile, one Sooyoung had been missing all day, graced her face.

Before she could joke back, the sound of hooves brought them out of their reverie. Did they forget something? As inexperienced Chaewon was, she had a knack of making sure everyone was prepared. Something she inherited from both sides of the family no less.

But it sounded like only one carriage had turned around as few neighs were heard.

Yeojin’s booming voice echoed through the castle, finding its enthusiasm since having to deliver such depressing news earlier.

“PRINCESS SEOHYUN HAS ARRIVED!”

\---

_“YOU’LL BE HEARING FROM THE COUNCIL!”_

_All heads turned at the doorway as Chaewon was wiggling over Jinsol’s shoulder, Jungeun followed after with parchment, quills, and a cheese platter to make up for Chaewon’s absence on the first day of school._

_“I ALREADY KNOW ALL I NEED TO KNOW TO RULE!”_

_“OH REALLY?!”_

_“JUST SAY OBJECT TO THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE, RIP UP CONTRACTS YOU DON’T LIKE, AND BEHEAD THOSE WHO DISAGREE WITH YOU!”_

_“CHAEWON, NO!”_

_“CHAEWON YES!”_

_Plopping her down on the empty seat next to Heejin, situated right in front of Haseul and Vivi’s desk, Jinsol looked apologetically at their new teachers. Jungeun delivered the goods and began smoothing down her whiny daughter’s hair. They hoped that being taught by familiar figures would make their daughter be more studious._

_But they were greeted by her faking the plague upon her wakeup call._

_Then later, catching her attempting to sneak into one of the delivery carriages leaving the grounds._

_“Do you not want us to be your teachers, Chaewon?” A soft voice called from behind the desk._

_Chaewon’s eyes widened and shook her head. She didn’t care much for her previous instructors but Vivi and Haseul, she would take an arrow for. They were like her kind aunts and often kept her many shenanigans under wraps, allowing her parents to think the world of her._

_(They knew some of her antics but knew not to speak on them. Especially since she was currently more interested in werewolves and they didn’t want to partake in that phase of her life.)_

_Receiving the prompt from Haseul, Chaewon got to work, quill flying across the pages. Haseul let out a sigh as Vivi massaged the unnecessary stress from her shoulders._

_Nodding fondly at their friends, Jungeun and Jinsol made their way out, knowing their dear daughter was in good hands._

_It was time she developed her own mindset._

_A mindset that would have to look over an entire kingdom when it was her time to rule._

\---

Hyejoo had never felt as exposed as she did now.

Even decked in a complete set of armor, she felt bare walking into a conundrum of occasions.

Past the entrance of the once lively open plaza were so many people. People mourning. People in hysterics. People dying. Those were just the people. The remaining non-humans were hanging onto shreds of hope as they tried to prove their innocence in the sunlight. 

But these wolves were nothing like her.

When she was trained by their dear family friend, the same that built the cage for them, Hyejoo harnessed her strength in ways that kept her family safe and her stomach full. It took several rough months for her to grasp how to transition effortlessly from her different forms but at dawn, which felt like another era ago with all that was happening, she easily shook back into her human form.

So why weren’t these wolves doing the same? Why were they still tearing into the flesh of these humans without hesitation? Why could she picture her wolf form attacking her parents?

Shaking her head she gripped her sword and tried to refocus. A parent cried out to their spouse, begging for them to change back, their toddler crying in their arms, wanting their mother back. The wolf took a moment looking at them in recognition, Hyejoo foresaw a happy ending.

Until the wolf’s eyes glazed over pitch black and tore through their lover and child without mercy.

A group of peddlers were holding a small wolf down, begging for their loved one to change back. The wolf didn’t seem to hear them and bit the air around them, wanting a taste of those pleading for a silver lining.

But once the wolf got ahold of one of their hands, a sword sliced right the wolf’s neck, then again at the amputated friend, the group not wanting to take the risk again.

Hyejoo fought the bile rising up her throat.

A gust of wind flew by her as one of her kind leapt on top of her, knocking her helmet off, saliva dripping from their bloodied jaws and leaking into the now exposed area of her suit. Hyejoo couldn’t feel more grateful that she was bitten at a young age, having absorbed the life-changing spit years ago. With her skin intact, she was safe regardless.

Flipping the wolf onto their back, Hyejoo held them down by their shoulders, ready to bestow her knowledge onto it.

Judging by the size of its current form, this former human was a little shorter than her. A lankier build and a thinner frame, Hyejoo felt like it was a female.

But she couldn’t find her voice.

This could’ve been her.

This monster could’ve been her.

\---

_“Hyejoo, focus on my voice please,” a soft voice called out, waving a metallic pendant. “Come back to us.”_

_With another painful shiver running through her body, Hyejoo mewled as she turned back into her human self. Rubbing her tired eyes she blinked her golden eyes back to their natural tone. The last three days had taken everything out of her and the feeling of standing on two legs again felt foreign to her causing her to stumble._

_Jiwoo was quick to catch her naked daughter, swaddling her in a plush blanket as she crouched into the silver cage Sooyoung and their dear friend constructed, having built one years ago. They didn’t think they’d team up again for a project reprise but anything to keep Hyejoo in their hands._

_“Mommy, I’m tired,” Hyejoo whispered before passing out in Jiwoo’s arms._

_Carrying Hyejoo to their small cot, Jiwoo tucked their exhausted daughter in, adding a second layer to make up for her lack of clothes all while giving her soft praise for her amazing feat._

_Sooyoung came up behind her wife, brushing Hyejoo’s matted hair back and wiping the blood off her lips from the steaks they gave her. Embracing Jiwoo from behind, they watched their daughter succumb to an overdue sleep, as their friend packed her things._

_She had been more than helpful and in their time of need, the energy and effort she spent deserved more than they could afford._

_(Not like any of them could work anymore. They were “dead.”)_

_“Thank you so much, Vivi.”_

\---

Yerim buried her face between her hands as she plummeted from the aftermath of a hectic day. The kingdom wasn’t ready to host even a single guest after having sent off most of their supplies and rations in carriages.

But Queen Seohyun came alone.

A blessing and a curse.

That observation alone was enough to turn the castle around. Jungeun and Jinsol weren’t even preparing for bed yet, now hunched around a roster of the kingdom’s finest citizens to plan the second wave of aid for the next day.

(Jinsol was doing most of the work with a pained Jungeun mourning the death of her aunt - and possibly more - beside her. They were counting down the hours until it was Jinsol’s turn to leave, now having to fill in for the late Head Knight’s Minho spot.)

Chaewon had slammed her bedroom door shut before dinner, announcing an early shuteye. Yeojin and Yerim knew better than to check on her until the next day. They only hoped her mothers would attend to Chaewon once their work was wrapped up.

Sooyoung and Jiwoo were dodging some sort of serious conversation the two young ones couldn’t describe but might have something to do with Sooyoung volunteering to take Minho’s spot not sitting well with Jiwoo.

Haseul and Vivi?

They had accepted the worse and for the first time in a long time, the two would be sharing a bed.

(But not for reasons the castle would hope for.)

Everyone was waiting for Hyejoo and Hyunjin’s speedy return, hoping not to add to the unavoidable grief cascading over the castle residents. Yeojin tried to finish her midnight snack, finding it hard to place her appetite. It seemed like with every announcement she made, it made matters worse.

Maybe she can ask Vivi and her sister to dig up that yearly writing assignment they had so she can reconfigure her dreams.

A pained cry above her took away her thought carriage.

Yeojin put down the buttered bread roll and joined her friend on top of the counter.

“You don’t have to comfort me Yeojin.”

Yeojin’s eyebrows shot up with her hand halfway raised to pat Yerim’s back. Hyunjin was great at catching things with her peripherals but Yerim wasn’t even looking at her.

Must’ve been a Dong family trait.

Like the Jungs and their knack of perfectionism.

Correcting herself, Yerim put down Yeojin’s hand and cuddled up into her side after wiping her tears. There was so much on her mind that she almost forgot to camouflage her natural instincts.

“But thank you anyway.”

Hearing Yeojin’s heart rate return to normal, Yerim squashed her worries of coming clean, hoping her sister remembered to do the same.

\---

_“Um….hello?”_

_Hyunjin wasn’t sure she heard her aunties right. Barely making eye contact with her, Jinsol and Jungeun had announced another role she would take on in the castle. Hyunjin sprinted to the reading room for answers. She was to be a new student alongside the younger castle residents. As if knight school was enough for her. She had just got back from one of her training sessions at the arenas. Why the Pacer was considered a good measure of knighthood still puzzled her._

_Peering in, the students were writing vigorously, including a rare sight of Chaewon keeping still at her desk._

_Haseul’s eyes shot up when Vivi motioned over to the newcomer at their door. Her friends, more so Yerim’s than hers as Hyunjin was spending less time in the castle, didn’t stop their studies until Haseul stood up from her desk._

_“I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be here,” Hyunjin uttered, not entering unless she was truly welcomed._

_“Only if you want,” Vivi and Haseul said simultaneously, motioning over to the single desk by Yerim’s other side._

_(They all noticed Heejin pout at the seating arrangements but the school year just started. They’d find a way to reunite the two former best friends again. But partner projects were hard with an uneven amount of students)._

_“Come on Hyun, join us,” Yerim cheered, slapping a blank piece of parchment onto her assigned desk._

_Bowing her apologies of interrupting the group’s quiet time - something more rare than Chaewon studying - Hyunjin took her seat as Haseul recited their writing prompt._

_Future dreams, huh?_

_Besides making her parents proud, Hyunjin drew a blank. Her paper ended up being the shortest in length._

\---

Hyejoo didn’t know how she had gotten in the woods but that’s the only way she could keep track of the wolf she couldn’t control.

Unlike the citizens not giving the newborns a fighting chance, she was trying to get the wolf to change. The sun was in its highest position and the wolf didn’t seem to be making the effort to change back.

Hyejoo’s voice was buried under her confusion as she grappled to keep the wolf pinned under her.

Why weren’t they turning back?

Surprised as the wolf began shaking violently, Hyejoo relented some of her grip, glad she could save at least one being from a swift death. Limbs shrinking down. Back losing its arch. The fur receding, revealing a pale face, scared brown eyes staring back, a small black mole dotting the skin beside their eyes.

“L-l-leader?” A groggy, deep voice called out.

But a loud reverberant wolf howl from deep afar in the forest abrupted the wolf’s full transformation and the beast made a comeback, knocking back a stunned Hyejoo.

That had never happened to her.

Was this a new species? Something the knight textbooks and anecdotes never researched? The texts have outlined how werewolves lacked self-control and Hyejoo had grown up believing that they were lies. But she was the only example she had. Until now.

It was two shifts per month. Human to wolf then wolf to human. But this wolf seemed to be controlled by something omniscient, something beyond their control. Snout pointed towards the direction of the howl, the wolf answered back with only a wimpy howl of their own.

How could a newborn have a pack already?

The distant wolf howled back a series of notes before the wolf snapped back to Hyejoo, taking a command Hyejoo didn’t know a wolf could follow. When it was her cycle, the only commands she took was her own, barely registering human speech.

(She was better at it now but she loved frustrating her mothers and pretending not to understand “put me down.”)

Before Hyejoo could ask questions, hoping this new breed would be able to understand her, it stalked its way over baring its teeth.

“CHANGE BACK! IT’S NOT THAT HARD! CHANGE BACK!”

Gripping onto her sword, a terrified Hyejoo also hoped she wouldn’t have to become her worst enemy.

\---

_“Not that we have much experience but I would say this went smoothly,” Sooyoung whispered as they stepped outside the shack they called home._

_Jiwoo limped out a few seconds later, reassuring Sooyoung she was okay to walk._

_Since Hyejoo got her new identity, her sense of hearing had been sharp. Even if she was fast asleep, her parents and temporary wolf trainer had the courtesy to keep their voices down._

_“Remarkable even,” Vivi murmured to herself._

_The two Has turned to her, wondering what she was hinting at. Vivi herself had said she had no experience with wolf wrangling, her only real first hand encounters were the wolf the Kims captured and the gang of them barking outside Jungeun’s barricaded doors as the remaining Kim castle survivors awaited the full moon’s departure._

_They have come to learn that wolves had no sense of control but Hyejoo didn’t prove to be too much of a responsibility._

_Hyejoo paced around in her cage. Ate the monstrous amount of food her parents had prepared. (More than necessary so they were glad they could have meat skewers tonight)._

_And even if her shift to the animal was painful, her shift back was almost effortless._

_Maybe they wouldn’t even need the cage in the coming cycles. With Hyejoo growing up, she’d have to learn how to roam the woods on her own. Eventually she’d have to leave the nest._

_In their case, the cage._

_Whether she was ready or not._

_Vivi promised to bring back books of wolf dens and architecture on her next visit._

_“It was as if Hyejoo was still Hyejoo.”_

_Jiwoo hugged her sweater close, not wanting to build up too much hope behind Vivi’s observation. She did fear that Hyejoo would snap at her, but each time she got close Hyejoo only tilted her head curiously. She almost opened the cage prematurely to hug her child if it wasn’t for Sooyoung and Vivi holding her back._

_Maybe the books were wrong._

_Maybe Hyejoo was a new kind of animal? The house did unfortunately reek of a wet dog smell, proving Jiwoo wrong._

_Sooyoung nodded along, taking in what Vivi was saying. This went against all her training manuals but the castle physician had a point. Hyejoo was far more controlled than any wolf she’d ever encountered when she still wore the badge._

_Wishing her luck as she prepared Chaewon’s lesson plans, waiting for the sun to be fully up before greeting her goodbye, the Has went in and prepared for Hyejoo’s bath and congratulatory feast, wishing all the transformations would end with their precious child safe in their home._

\---

Jinsol wiped her face clean, looking into the mirror at her sunken eyes. It was almost morning and she hadn’t slept a wink. They were running on the few jugs of water they saved, having cut all water flow temporarily.

Jungeun looked back at her through the mirror, having finished her nighttime routine minutes ago, but not wanting to leave her side. Since Jungeun weighed in on Jinsol’s predicament to leave, they hadn’t unloaded the reasons behind it.

“Do you want me to go because of my argument with Chaewon?”

Tossing her towel onto the bathroom counter, Jungeun pulled Jinsol into her arms. She was furious at both of them for ruining their family day more than Yeojin’s announcement did but that didn’t take away the undying love she had for them.

“It’s not that. That was a misunderstanding.”

She was well aware of how they felt about the lycan kind but she thought they’d have more time to discuss it in private.

Time they weren’t allotted because Jinsol would be on her way out on the second wave of aid first thing in the morning. Time taken for granted because she spent days crafting the perfect speech, only to stow it away for Jinsol’s return voyage.

“A misunderstanding? So you agree with her?”

Jungeun couldn’t meet Jinsol’s eyes. They had been on the same page for years and while they basked in their honeymoon stage, she was certain that was still the case. Jungeun wasn’t as strong as an advocate for werewolf rights like Chaewon was but she wasn’t curbed by pent up hatred like Jinsol.

“Don’t take it like that.”

There had been a time Jinsol had reversed her perspective, coming from knight school with a fresh set of eyes. She still harbored vengeance but it wasn’t as volatile. But after her second mission out, the fire in her eyes were stoked afresh and Jinsol was gone for too many days for Jungeun (and Chaewon) to make sense of it.

“Do you think she’s right?”

Until that fencing match with Sooyoung, Jungeun thought it was all sorted out. That Jinsol had revealed all her transgressions. She was foolish to expect her to change opinions overnight. Much like her and her condition.

“How could I know if I’m too scared to leave this castle?” Jungeun fought back tears as Jinsol held onto her tighter, shaking her head at her wife’s admission.

She knew Jinsol hated hearing about her illness because it was the fuel to her fire. The fire she kept with her on missions. The fire she’d have to stoke again for tomorrow’s trip.

From Seohyun’s accounts, the number of casualties was far greater than any sole kingdom attack they’d known. Even if it was half as much as the attack that claimed Hyunjin and Yerim’s parents, that would be a ton of work to redo.

“I don’t want to go back to the way things were,” Jinsol whimpered so Jungeun didn’t feel like she was the only one coming clean.

Even with their disagreement, she was reuniting with her daughter. A daughter who she thought she knew. Even with their night time cuddles, she was reuniting with her wife. A wife she thought would be fully healed by now.

“We can’t let them,” Jungeun fell into Jinsol, fortunate a wall beside kept them upright.

Jinsol had thought they had wanted her to stay but Jungeun had asked her to go so effortlessly and by the way she said it, it seemed like those feelings had been brewing for days.

(They were aware the council would want their poster child knight to go anyway but tonight they’d pretend they made the choice on their own.)

“Promise me we won’t take this long to come back? To me or to Chaewon.”

A reset.

“I promise.”

Their Head Knight perished like before.

“Come back to me,” Jungeun whispered against Jinsol’s lips, the wind of her breath making her dizzy.

A member of their family was missing like before.

“I always will,” Jinsol murmured back, unsure how soon they’ll be able to feel this again.

Jinsol would have to prove herself doubly to make up for the negative feelings surrounding Jungeun again. From herself and from the ignorant commoners. Like before.

Meeting for a chaste kiss - time was of the essence - Jinsol and Jungeun hid themselves away for the night, pressing every inch of their body against each other in slumber until duty called.

\---

_Jungeun didn’t think she’d become a queen so quickly but with the events unfolding around the castle, that would be the case._

_Her engagement to Jinsol would be shortened as she knew there was no way her mothers survived that attack._

_Straightening her back and adopting a queenly demeanor, Jungeun did a quick check on the room. Seven bodies were huddled in safely in the center of her silver-caged bedroom._

_Having to regain her kingdom’s trust, she would be celebrating her non-transformation in the wings of the ballroom. But when the doors burst open, Jungeun and her closest confidants’ isolation made it easier for them to escape._

_It would’ve been eight bodies if Teacher Sera didn’t struggle up the steps, telling her favorite students to save themselves._

_Sooyoung held Jiwoo close, hoping both of their parents would find asylum somewhere. Vivi threw some of Jungeun’s cloaks, reeking of her royal perfumes, out the window for a diversion of the wolves gathering below. Key and IU consoled a shrieking newborn Heejin, wincing as they heard more and more growls outside Jungeun’s doors._

_“Sweetheart, you need to keep quiet,” Heejin’s mother wept, feeling her resolve fade as her only child could cost them all their lives._

_But Vivi held her hand out, discouraging IU from continuing._

_Letting Heejin cry out, the number of growls multiplied. Everyone was unsure if Vivi had officially left her logic in the ballroom._

_If this plan fell apart, Sooyoung wouldn’t hesitate to throw Vivi out the window too._

_A clanging rang throughout the room, indications of the wolves all trying to break in. After, a scurry of wolves recoiling from the burning silver spikes, the wolves whimpered in pain, paralyzed and injured. For the wolves not strong enough to make it down the stairs, they died outside Jungeun’s room. The remaining Kim kingdom family listened to the whimpers dying down before they were encased in a resolute silence._

_As impulsive as it was, even if she couldn’t control it, Heejin saved them._

\---

A small habit knights picked up was keeping track of their wolf kills by finding one distinguishable character of each wolf they had. Like all humans - something knights would never think of comparing their kills to - wolves had noticeable features.

The wolf Hyunjin had to pry off her back had a sharp and crooked snout.

The wolf Hyunjin threw over her shoulder had one limb longer than the others.

The wolf Hyunjin hurtled towards had an anguished Hyejoo backed up against a tree. 

Hyunjin added the woods towards the mountains as her next search. She had seen strays howling in that direction, crawling their way over as if in a sort of trance. This behavior wasn’t new to her, but at this scale, it was worrisome. Hyunjin wouldn’t be shy to say it was almost like a cult.

Scooting back on the rough terrain, Hyejoo adjusted her vision to see that her savior was none other than her right-hand.

How much did she see?

Did she witness her giving a wolf sympathy? She knew of her identity, if the game scattered around the Im kingdom for her was any indication, but this wasn’t her about anymore. This was Hyejoo saving other wolves.

Treason against the knight code of conduct.

(Being a wolf had long been written off as wolves wouldn’t dare sign themselves up.)

“Hyunjin I’m sor-”

“Are you hurt?” Hyunjin gritted, not taking her eyes away from the newborn.

“What?!” Hyejoo shook her head. Hyunjin sounded mad but it wasn’t directed at her.

“Are you hurt, Hyejoo?”

Hyunjin could taste Hyejoo’s confusion. There was much to talk about from their island quest but now they’d have to add this to their list of inquiries. Why wasn’t Hyunjin parading her head on a stake by now? Did she also notice how Hyejoo was unlike these spineless wolves?

Did her being different save her?

“No.”

“Good.”

Hyunjin waited for the wolf to trot its way north. Hyejoo didn’t need to see her kill her own kind. She didn’t even think she was in the right state of mind to do it. Taking another life wasn’t in their current list of duties.

Another strong howl made its way south, shaking the ground they stood on. Believing the wolf would take that as a signal to join the pack, the wolf snapped its head to face the two knights with eyes of pure black.

Their teeth shone a gleaming white and neither of the two wanted their blood to be its first stain.

Hyejoo tried to find the human face that was making its way out before. Not remembering what side of her body the sword was on, she fumbled through her person. Unsure if she would rather die at the wolf’s hands to save herself from Hyunjin’s scolding later.

But Hyunjin had chosen her side.

Like clockwork, she too observed the wolf but not to find its salvation.

To find her marker. 

Nothing out of the ordinary except the ashy hair above their eyes. But she wouldn’t come back to claim this kill once the bodies were counted.(Especially when she processed who had hair a similar shade.)

Slicing her hand, she fumbled behind her for an arrow from her water-soaked quiver, and forced it deep into the wolf’s skull. 

\---

_Jinsol lifted one finger in the air to shush a giggling Jungeun and she flopped onto the bed, exhausted from knight camp._

_Jungeun was doing a fine job taking over her queen responsibilities - at least ones she could do safely within the castle walls - but that wasn’t to say Jinsol still had to pick up the slack outside the castle. But she would grant all the time in the world for Jungeun’s recovery, hoping her new job would cut that time short or give her no worries at all._

_Rubbing up her wife’s back, Jungeun’s touch helped her destress for the day._

_“How was school?” Jungeun chuckled, a question she would’ve never thought of asking Jinsol in this lifetime._

_“Terrible.”_

_Before Jungeun could laugh again, Jinsol’s teary eyes met her gaze and Jungeun fell back on the bed to get closer to her troubled lover._

_“They taught us how to kill werewolves today.”_

_Jungeun pursed her lips and nodded. Jinsol always talked about getting rid of wolves to make the kingdom safe but words were different than actions. She didn’t want to ask what kind of simulations Jinsol had to go through to be so distraught._

_(“You want to be a knight and you can’t even kill? Knew you royals were all talk good for nothings.”)_

_The academy would never bring in a wild wolf for practice but Jinsol didn’t have a murderous bone in her body. Even stabbing a dummy would shake her._

_(“Don’t you want to exact revenge!?”)_

_“You know, something I’ve heard Hyorin tell her kids is how we’re better than werewolves because we have control.”_

_“Control?” Jinsol whimpered, relieved Jungeun wouldn’t find her worries pitiful._

_“Mmm-hmmm, I don’t know what she meant but maybe that’ll help,” Jungeun closed her eyes as Jinsol worked her way between her arms._

_Control._

_Humans had control to become who they wanted to be. They could write their dreams, their destinies, their desires and plan a course of action. Chaewon and the younger ones had an assignment and even though it was wishful thinking, Jinsol couldn’t break it to her that her path was already set for her._

_If humans - never mind the royal part of it - could have complete control of their lives, they should be able to control how to kill._

_(“Fine! Have your wife suffer for the rest of her life in fear.”)_

_But Jinsol had no control. She wore the crown and soon the badge. She had no autonomy since birth and now she was the council’s best puppet. All reminders of the fate she had little say in. _

\---

Vivi and Haseul didn’t welcome the sun peeking through the windows, losing track of time as they floated aimlessly on their beds.

They had been laying side by side for hours, unable to shut their eyes peacefully. Even without words, they could piece together why Queen Seohyun arrived alone.

The damage had been too great for Seohyun to hide in the next kingdom, having to go two kingdoms over to the Jungs. Having come so soon after the attack’s announcement meant she was rushed out of there to protect the throne.

Royals wore full coverage insurance when it came to their lives.

Their staff didn’t have that protection..

Vivi and Haseul wouldn’t accept it - last time they did, the people they thought were dead came back - but the chance of Heejin’s survival was minimal. She was unskilled at the sword and a bow. A fresh, young body for wolves to take under their wing.

The married duo felt the other fail to fall asleep, touching their hands briefly. If they broke, it would mean they believed the assumptions to be true. But lying next to each other because they didn’t want the other to do this alone was saying enough.

Haseul was astounded she made it in time to see daylight creep in, until she felt the bed vibrate next to her. Taking a broken Vivi into her arms, Haseul ran her hands up and down her back, wondering who she was grounding more.

As the sun blinded them, Vivi snuggled closer to her light who was ironically giving her a comfortable darkness as the sunlight rudely shone in.

Haseul frowned at the stress lines etched on the otherwise peaceful woman, unpleasurable sobs emitting from the sweetest woman in all the lands.

Haseul could count on her fingers how many times she's seen her wife cry throughout the years of knowing each other. She never questioned it, just accepted that the physician wasn't the crying type.

Yet since the arrival of the princess alone Vivi had been fighting back tears.

Haseul took charge to be a pillar for the woman she loved. Vivi always took care of her but this time Haseul would be the doctor. Scooping her wife and taking her to bed to cry it out on her shoulder as she ran her fingers through the pink locks. Humming lightly to the lullaby she would often sing to Heejin.

No matter what, they were a family. Even if the marriage was just on paper, Haseul wanted her wife to know she was here for her.

Now she knew why Jinsol did what she did.

(Vivi would stop her the moment Haseul thought about submitting her name to knight training.)

Wanting to take the pain away, Haseul let her instincts take over, kissing the lines away, smoothing them over with her lips. As she worked her way down Vivi’s face, her lips brushed down the bridge of her nose.

Haseul knew the timing was terrible but they couldn’t deny this thing between them anymore. Gazing at each others lips a loud trumpet blaring snapped them back to reality.

“Vivi, I’m so sorry, I-I shouldn’t have done that-- I just lost control,” Haseul couldn’t stop her own tears from falling, hating herself for taking advantage of the poor physician.

A reality where Haseul and her weren’t really together.

“It’s okay, Haseul. Honestly. Please don’t beat yourself up for this,” Vivi reached out, biting back pain as Haseul jolted away from her hand.

A reality where their daughter was missing.

\---

_“PRINCESS SEOHYUN HAS ARRIVED!”_

_The Jung family stopped their ascent up the stairs, Chaewon and Jinsol jumping the last three stairs to see their relative. On any other day, Jungeun would’ve giggled at their child’s play but her cousin was here for the first time unannounced._

_Sooyoung and Jiwoo greeted the princess, asking if there was anything they could get her._

_“How many guests?” Jiwoo asked hopefully, looking out to see if any other people were unloading the carriage._

_“Just me,” Seohyun was always the quiet type but Sooyoung and Jiwoo almost tipped over trying to hear her response._

_The princess looked a mess, her gown tattered, her brooch in pieces and her signature cloak missing from her shoulders. Face a vampiric pale and hair tangled from its updo, a testimony to the struggle she had gone through. From the way her dress was dragging, she had lost her shoes along the way. She couldn’t even offer a smile to her cousin, her lips trembling too hard to turn upwards._

_“Yeojin?” Seohyun cleared her throat, looking at the (unofficial) royal announcer._

_Jinsol, Jungeun, and Chaewon were all too familiar with that mannerism._

_It meant Seohyun was back to her royal title. Not the warm bookworm they remember visiting throughout the years._

_“It’s Queen Seohyun now.” _

\---

They always said exercising was better with a buddy.

The same could be said for the knight duo.

They refused to speak of the murder they committed and made their way back to the kingdom where the smoke cleared. The sun was beginning to set and the smoke started to clear. The unpleasant smell stayed, remnants of the battle between species that ensued moments earlier.

Fortunately (or unfortunately) the wolf Hyunjin killed didn’t change back in its last moments to reveal its identity.

First stop was the desolate castle. Hyejoo kept her mouth shut as Hyunjin ran through the halls, screaming a name they both knew wouldn’t answer back. With the ripped curtains, the broken stained glass, and the mangled horses, any fleeting hope of a living and breathing human here was squandered.

Hyejoo had wanted to ask one of the knights doing body counts of news of the castle residents. Hearing nothing but “Jung kingdom” in the Kim’s knights’ side conversations, the two were off.

Stripping off their armor as they ran, neither knights questioned how they were able to match each other in speed. Hyejoo was in shock how fast Hyunjin responded to the wolf lunging at her. No ordinary human could whip out an arrow in time.

“Are you like me?” Hyejoo called out, avoiding another oak by swerving around it at breakneck speed.

“What do you mean?” Hyunjin asked back, no quiver in her voice.

Hyunjin couldn’t be a wolf if she was safe in the Im castle - albeit helping her satiate her hunger - during her transformation. 

“We’re not exactly the same if that’s what we’re asking,” Hyunjin catapulted over a large boulder, almost causing Hyejoo to lose focus as she watched an epic feat.

Hyejoo regained speed again, now running closer to Hyunjin, listening closely for evidence of Hyunjin huffing like an exhausted human but she couldn’t even smell sweat dripping from her body.

“Do you call out to a leader?” Hyunjin pushed Hyejoo slightly to the right to avoid another tree.

So it wasn’t just her who heard it. But matching her for knowledge as well as velocity, Hyejoo was at a loss for answers.

“I didn’t know I was supposed to have one.”

Moment of truth. Hyunjin could use her freakishly strong self and end her now.

“Neither did I.”

Feeling simultaneously free and in control, Hyejoo and Hyunjin zoomed past the sign marking the border of the Jung kingdom territory.

\---

_Heejin screamed as darkness befell her eyes._

_“Shhhh, it’s just your favorite Kim aunt,” Seohyun giggled as she wrapped black fabric around Heejin’s eyes. Taken aback at how the young chef could make a blindfold look like a fashion statement, she pushed the girl into the room she promised she would show her._

_“That would be Aunt Jungeun,” Heejin teased._

_“Technically, she’s a Jung now.”_

_Heejin felt the air around her get cold, knowing she was now in the coveted Kim library._

_The fabric fell off her face and Seohyun wished she would have hired a portrait artist to depict the awe in Heejin’s eyes._

_A portrait of a young Kim castle staff was before her. She knew Seohyun replaced the current staff portrait for her but she felt like she was transported in time. Vivi was poised with purpose, looking every part of a woman not to be taken lightly. How she managed to look so proper with such soft pink hair, Heejin didn’t know. Near her side Sooyoung stood, a splitting image of Hyejoo in her knightly getup minus her daughter’s triangle lips._

_If she wanted to be a knight again, Heejin wouldn’t blame her._

_Next to them were Heejin’s parents._

_Ripe and full of vitality, like nothing could take them away. Her mother’s obvious beauty beside her father’s handsome yet soft features had her curious who she favored more. Neither of the young women who looked at the portrait knew who approved of non-hired family but Sooyoung’s modelesque parents and a newborn Heejin cradled in her mother’s arms, matching beauty marks in tack, was the perfect touch to send Heejin to tears._

_Seohyun excused herself to make sure the rest of the room was in mint condition._

_But she couldn’t focus on the massive shelves filled with books, scrolls, and pamphlets. Nor could she admire the paintings and statues lined and glazed with the finest protection. Nor could she appreciate the lush sitting arrangements from couches to arm chairs to swinging chairs._

_Smoke creeped in through the cracks in the windows, masking the oblivious woman’s feet._

_Any onomatopoeia read by the dulcet tones of Aunt Vivi and Aunt Haseul sounded pleasant reading them off the page but her years with her nose in the books would’ve never prepared her for a sound as blood curling as Seohyun’s scream._

_Finally tearing her eyes away, Heejin saw the elegant princess collapsed onto her knees and beyond her, a broken queen dangling limply from the beast’s jaws. _

\---

Jinsol knew Jungeun or Chaewon wouldn’t be greeting her farewell. Jungeun had a hard time letting her even go to her private quarters after breakfast.

Chaewon still hadn’t left her room and the mothers decided to let her process the tragedy on her own terms.

(“Maybe I’ll be back before she knows I’m gone,” Jinsol tried to joke, only making Jungeun cuddle into her harder.)

Taking a deep breath, she made her way down the steps to the second wave of doctors, ironsmiths, construction workers, morticians, and the second string of knights. Vivi would not be joining as Jinsol wanted to keep as many of the residents there. For her sake and Jungeun's. Leading this group, Jinsol would be taking the front of the pack.

(That should make up for the letter they would undoubtedly get for her not going on with the first wave.)

She gulped as she saw how young some of these people were. Skirting around Chaewon’s age and they were risking their lives to be completely selfless. Jinsol felt like she should learn a thing or two from them, having stayed back to hold her family closer for a little while longer.

“Yeojin?”

The young squire wore chainmail longer than her torso and boots larger than her feet turned around, struggling to keep her helmet open to see who called out her name.

Jinsol didn’t recall seeing her name on the draft when they finalized the list last night. Then again, she couldn’t remember much of anything except Jungeun telling her she should go.

“I’m volunteering Aunt Jinsol!” Yeojin proclaimed loudly, ignoring the gasps from the citizens who’d never heard of anyone in her rank refer to the queen informally.

For years, Yeojin kept missing the mark on her exams actually brought great calmness to the castlehold. Even if Yeojin had the brains and brawns to be a knight, her size and impulsiveness worried the family.

And Jinsol wasn’t sure if Haseul could take another missing family member so soon.

“Yeo-”

“No, I can do it!” Yeojin beat against her chest, wincing at the iron scratching her knuckles. Her thumb wasn’t even tucked correctly for a correct punch; how was she going to take on a wolf?

As Yeojin’s helmet closed again, Jinsol looked at her own reflection. She looked a fright but now could see what it must’ve looked like every time she rode off. She was taller and more agile than Yeojin but her family must’ve seen her the same way.

Just a young woman going out with no guarantee of a return trip.

“And the queen should stay here!”

Yeojin didn’t possess supersonic senses like the Dong family and or the hyper awareness the Jungs had but Yeojin was nosy and perceptive. Chaewon was nowhere to be seen. Jungeun and Jinsol were clutching every moment they had together. Sooyoung grumbled at every knight walking through, breaking Jiwoo’s heart at each passing. Her older sister and Vivi were sitting at opposite ends of the table. Even Yerim lost her gorgeous smile.

Yeojin asking Seohyun what happened only made matters worse but she couldn’t see the castle wallow anymore.

If Jinsol being home the last few days gave them the greatest indoor beach days, Heejin and Hyunjin finally confessing, and the Ha family moving in, then logically, Jinsol was the common denominator.

“Yeojin, you’re not taking my place,” Jinsol argued, fighting a smile as Yeojin winced as Jinsol clamped a heavy hand down on her oversized uniform. “I know what you’re doing.”

“Really? Because even I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Jinsol thought the same thing when she asked Hyunjin to submit her name for knight training.

“Knights don’t have to always go to battle to prove how strong they are. You can prove it here. Protecting this castle right now is top priority and I’m going to need people I trust to do that for me.”

“Like Hyunjin and Hyejoo?” Yeojin brooded, feeling her ego deflate at every one of Jinsol’s words. Once those two returned, Yeojin’s importance would fall off the ladder.

“And like Yeojin.”

Unlike some of them, Yeojin could control her destiny and while being a knight was an honor, making a life-changing decision at the face of an emergency could ruin her.

Jinsol could already tell the castle wouldn’t be the same once she returned but hopefully Yeojin wouldn’t lose that spark.

The squire’s eyes lit up at her aunt’s compliment but it disappeared quickly as her helmet closed in on her again. Jinsol had her last laugh of the day before escorting the youngest in their family back to the castle where she belonged.

\---

_No idea where this bravery came from, Seohyun found herself dragged along by Heejin as she started running down the long hallway. The chef had a peculiar way of running with both arms angled like wings behind her but there were more pressing matters to focus on._

_They came at a crossroad._

_One doorway would lead to a corridor to Jungeun’s former bedroom where the silver bars could prove as effective. The other led out to a narrow hallway down the fiery courtyard where the snarls and moans were the loudest._

_But before they could choose, the doors to the safest route, tore open and a body threw itself to the floor. _

_“Save yourselves,” Minho grunted, picking himself up weakly and barreling his way back the way he came in, closing the door that could lead to their only refuge._

_Courtyard it is._

_Allowing themselves to digest the situation in seconds, the girls blocked out a pained cry and the crunching of bones. Ankles suffering from skipping steps frantically, the light they were running towards wasn’t the gentle daylight._

_Fire._

_The castle was under siege. Bodies of citizens, knights and wolves littered the land. Fires started throughout the yards to keep the wolves at bay, doing more harm than good as it grew out of control._

_As the doors broke off the hinges, a pack of wolves cascaded outwards, nose sniffing for its next prey. Heejin whimpered at Minho’s garments hanging loosely from their jaws. Seohyun begun formulating a plan when she felt her cloak get tugged off of her._

_Heejin wrapped the ornate material around her body, looking decisively at the direction the wolves were pouring out of. The chef herself wasn’t a target but if masked with Seohyun’s garments..._

_“Heejin, no you can’t--”_

_Seohyun knew of how Hyunjin purposefully failed Heejin’s knight submission so she wouldn’t be faced with decisions like this. Knighted or not, one never had full control of their destiny. _

_Sacrifice wasn’t in her job description._

_Heejin had two mothers, a lover, and a family awaiting her return._

_Seohyun couldn’t hear whatever cheesy quote left Heejin’s lips as she ran towards the woods, attaining the wild adventure years of novel-reading had prepared her for._

\---

Hyejoo grumbled as Sooyoung and Jiwoo did a full body inspection of her, taking note of every small scratch, bump, and blister. They didn’t question why she lacked proper protective gear or why her face was smothered in dirt and grime.

(Hyejoo also didn’t question why her mothers seemed oddly distant from each other.)

“We’re so glad you’re okay honey,” Jiwoo’s eyes were watery at her return, something Hyejoo was used to.

“We knew you’d be a great knight,” Sooyoung stated, something Hyejoo was used to hearing, except with more emotion behind it.

“Like you, Mom?” Hyejoo jibbed.

The atmosphere in the kingdom was something Hyunjin and her expected to walk into. Bowing politely to the morose citizens preparing a journey east, the knights didn’t expect to see Jinsol checking the supplies, getting a brief hug from the queen before being asked to go inside.

Seohyun needed a personal guard and the girls didn’t dare ask why Minho couldn’t do it.

Or why Seohyun came alone.

“Yeah, like me,” Sooyoung breathed out, turning her attention back to the carriages lining up at the gates.

Hyejoo wanted to ask why her mother was in a mood, remembering to keep her voice down when a flash of purple hair made her think otherwise.

With the onslaught of information she received today, she forgot to include Yerim as a factor. If Hyunjin was “like her,” in whatever cryptic connotation that carried, Yerim would nonetheless be the same. She would be able to hear her no matter what volume she spoke in.

Tilting her head to the side, Hyejoo asked silently if Yerim picked up on their conversation, eyeing her tense mothers then pointing at her ears.

“They’ve been that way since yesterday,” Yerim said in the quietest voice, one she knew only Hyejoo would pick up.

Yerim had a feeling this day would come, waiting for the acceptance to cross Hyejoo’s face. She had figured out Hyejoo’s identity weeks ago. Her racing heartbeat, her warm temperature, her voracious appetite. Secrets always were revealed in trial times. Yerim figured something triggering happened to her sister and Hyejoo along the way for them to finally break the barrier between them.

Like the painful cry piercing through the day.

It wasn’t a sound just Yerim and Hyejoo heard.

Jiwoo and Sooyoung turned their heads to the agonizing screams coming from the stables. Even Jinsol dropped her brave facade to let her heart break for a few seconds. No one questioned why the bravest knight of their time lost control over the apathetic image she’d built over the years.

In the still of the quiet morning, Hyunjin collapsed to the ground, seizing a hold of her aching chest, crying out for the only girl she could ever love.

\---

_The teachers believed it would be best for an early dismissal, not wanting to overwhelm their students. They didn’t even assign homework for the next school day._

_(“Homework? We’re already doing schoolwork in our own home!” Yeojin stomped, trying to start a riot the first day.)_

_“What did Yeojin write?”_

_Haseul braced herself for Yeojin’s wild imagination. The two teachers were excited to read the students’ personal development assignments, seeing that most of them wrote parables. With a better sense of what paths the children wanted to take, they could cater the lesson plans to help with that._

_No more quadratic formulas and powerhouses of the cells if none of their dream careers needed to learn about that._

_“A blockbuster?” Vivi scrunched her face, needing a translation from Haseul. Parsing it, it meant a person that busted blocks._

_The court musician rolled her eyes. Blockbusters didn’t exist anymore, their services cut out of the budget indefinitely._

_Yeojin still dreamed of being a knight, a career they believed the girl would go to the grave with. Chaewon went on a long tirade of how she already had a path set out for her but she dreamed of doing something for herself, not knowing what it was. Yerim touched their hearts about wanting to use her talents for good. Whatever talents she was referring too, the two teachers believed in her._

_Hyunjin’s one-sentence response of making her family proud wasn’t an eye-opener. Vivi would later suggest Hyunjin accompany Haseul to her troupe audition she hoped Haseul was still preparing for._

_“What’s on your mind, Teacher Vivi?”_

_Vivi snorted. “Haseul, you don’t have to call me that. I’m not your teacher.”_

_Haseul grinned sheepishly but kept quiet as Vivi hasn’t answered her._

_“I’m thinking about those people who leave home before they’re ready.”_

_They finished out with Heejin’s paper before they turned in for the night - in their separate bedrooms._

_“I dream of making an impact in the world.”_

_For a housebound chef, that seemed implausible but as her teachers and her mothers, they knew that Heejin would find a way to make this happen. A young bright girl like her shouldn’t be able to go out without making her mark in the world._

\---

Chaewon worked out the kinks in her neck as she looked down at the parade of carriages, gearing up for their pilgrimage. A small creak of the castle gates marked the beginning of their journey and the starving princess could have sworn her mother on horseback was looking up into her windows.

Whatever Jinsol wanted to say to her, she could say it when she was back safe and sound.

The princess had to learn how to control herself. Her throat dried and her chest burst when she learned that her two doting mothers’s fairytale reunion was taken away from them. Part of it was her own fault for testing the waters with her unqueenlike opinion but she didn’t expect it to create a domino effect and send one of her mothers out the door.

Aunt Seohyun was crowned overnight, bypassing the marriage law in trial times. Chaewon knew better to not wish for marriage now, knowing that that could’ve been her. 

Practicing her queenly demeanor, Chaewon straightened her posture and did a quick check on the kingdom that could be hers from her window.

Yeojin was half-dressed in knight attire, saluting the second wave off.

Sooyoung and Jiwoo waved at them, letting go of their joined hands when the last carriage passed by.

Haseul and Vivi closed the gates in uncoordination, fumbling through the locks and backing away from each other once the task was done.

Hyejoo and Yerim made their way to the stables hand-in-hand, where a bale of hay flying out narrowly missed them.

Jinsol made her way to the back of the procession, sending a longing look to Chaewon’s room and then to the castle steps where Chaewon leaned over to see her other mother standing there. 

Jungeun gripped onto one of the pillars, a telltale sign that once Jinsol’s back was turned, Jungeun’s recovery would be all for naught. Even from the distance, Chaewon could feel her mother’s body wavering.

Chaewon closed her eyes and used the desk to prevent her from falling over in sympathy pains, wondering how she can use the little power she possessed to regain control of this wide reaching tragedy.

  


**NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: NEXT FULL MOON**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q (ourtuneisohigh): So...who has the most creative Heejin theory? Next chapter takes place about a month later so we'll see what happens to our heroines and when we return, some of them may have new jobs. Just remember, all endgames have been decided and they will be together one way or another. Until next time. [Twitter](https://twitter.com/0TlSH)
> 
> N (LazyNinja): Did you buckle up like I told y’all? hah, hope this chapter doesn’t cause you too much stress but you’ve got to feel what our main characters feel! Also the poll on my twitter was a ruse! We will be writing about everyone’s backstories bwahahaha!! Gonna make you care about everyone in this world lol. Thank so much for reading, the kudos, comments and questions we get make this so much fun. Take care and drink water. [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_LazyNinja_) | [CC](https://curiouscat.me/_LazyNinja_)


	16. Uncover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Format as follows:**
> 
> _Italics: Past_  
  
Straight (but really gay): Present  
****  
  
**[TW: VIOLENCE]**  


_Jiwoo let out a satisfied sigh as she fell onto Sooyoung’s shoulder, appreciating the toned muscle supporting her exhausted self. Hyejoo didn’t mind the tight squeeze, situated between both of her mothers, sleeping soundly in Chaewon’s royal blanket. Wrinkling her nose, Jiwoo was going to ask Sooyoung what that blanket’s sour smell was - remembering hearing Chaewon had doused it in some exotic fruit, mixing with the perfume years of wear soaked in._

_But Sooyoung’s forehead lines were too deep to ignore._

_“What’s on your mind honey?” Jiwoo whispered into the autumn night air._

_Forgetting she was next to her family or even that she was riding in a carriage, Sooyoung blinked rapidly. A few hours ago, Jinsol allowing her to partake in a one-on-one meeting with her Head Knight was an honor but also a premonition of what she hoped was to come._

_“Just thinking about the future.”_

_Jiwoo couldn’t help but jolt upwards, making Hyejoo squirm. Did attending a child’s birthday party make her wife go through an existential crisis? But she remained calm. After all, the Jung Kingdom Head Knight and trusty seneschal could eavesdrop from their drivers’ seats._

_(Taeyang and Hyorin heard every syllable without trying to but kept their eyes on the path, only a lantern and a full moon to light their way.)_

_“When we throw Hyejoo’s tenth?”_

_“Yes that,” Sooyoung reached over and brought Jiwoo’s hands up to her lips. “But also what life could be like once I’m Head Knight.”_

_“And what would that look like?” Jiwoo indulged at the soft touches her wife was giving her._

_Sooyoung was always so hard on herself. Their family was far up the ranks than any other same gender duo in the Kim kingdom - if Queen Taeyeon married, they would be second to her - but that didn’t mean they still didn’t have to work for it. Jiwoo could still feel an unpleasant numbness in her lower back from lugging crates of fruit daily. Sooyoung had begged her countless times to quit and live off of her knightly salary but the Kim kingdom was late to give her or any Kim kingdom employee the pay raise they deserved - payback from the council for Taeyeon assuming the throne without a spouse._

_Even if Jiwoo and Sooyoung desired a more stable life - hopefully one within the safety of their friend’s castle walls - they knew the journey would be tough. Jung kingdom Head Knight Taeyang didn’t look like he’d retire in the next few years and Hyunjin would’ve already been trained by then._

_“Well you’ll still be as beautiful as ever,” Sooyoung winked, making Jiwoo take her hand back scandalously. _

_Even in dreamland, Hyejoo grimaced._

_“But I see all of us safe and well-rested,” Sooyoung adjusted herself as their sleeping daughter moved. “And well-fed. This one’s bound to go through puberty soon.”_

_Jiwoo nodded. Hyejoo did eat a lot for her age already._

_(It would only get worse. But that was caused by more than puberty.)_

_Time would tell what would happen to their future but they knew they would be with each other every step of the way. Stretching to meet each other for a chaste kiss, the two wives groaned as their heads knocked against each other as the carriage came to an abrupt stop._

_They couldn’t possibly be there yet. They haven’t even reached the Park kingdom._

_“Sir Taeyang, why are we stopping?” Jiwoo mustered the courage, not liking how Sooyoung instinctively locked the carriage doors and drew the curtains at all windows. Even without the proper knight training, Jiwoo’s question left unanswered by their protection squad outside was enough to send goosebumps across her body._

_Three howls rang with what was to come. There wasn’t enough time to make a getaway as they were surrounded by wolves on all sides._

_Shielding her family behind her body, Sooyoung put her hand to her sword hilt, hoping she wouldn’t have to use it but ready to do anything to keep her family safe._

\---

Head Knight position was often chosen by the retiring Head Knight.

What was left of Sir Minho’s badge was recovered after the third wave swept through Seohyun’s castle, so that tradition was out of the question. Other kingdoms chose the most experienced or one with the most wolf kills. 

Hyunjin was the natural first choice with all of her accolades.

But Jinsol was adamant in keeping as much of the younger ones safe as her power allowed. She couldn’t - no one could - bear another premature loss of life so soon. With the influx of newborn werewolves, no one was comfortable putting someone in Heejin’s generation on the front lines.

Jung kingdom implemented the pro tempore clause until Hyunjin was ready. Emotionally most importantly.

(Hyejoo and Yerim thought they were the only ones to hear Hyunjin crying in her room almost every night but hearing Jiwoo whisper to Vivi if there was something they could do down the hallway was proof otherwise.)

The knight-in-place was another castle resident. 

The appointed Head Knight pro tempore flexed in front of the mirror, seeing how years of innovations had made the new uniform sleeker, lighter and form-fitting. Her first assignment was this upcoming full moon so there could be time for adjustments if she saw fit. She even trimmed her hair down to her shoulders so it would fit better in her helmet.

A snort outside the bedroom door brought her out of her reverie.

“Don’t kill my vibe,” Sooyoung pointed an accusatory finger at the guilty court musician.

Holding her hands up in surrender, a thinner and worn out Haseul leaned against the door frame to Sooyoung and Jiwoo’s room. It was more like Sooyoung’s room with how often she slept in there alone since that fateful night.

“You think Jiwoo would like it?”

Dropping her arms, Haseul wasn’t sure how to respond. She herself was in the same silent-treatment boat with someone else in the castle. Jiwoo would most likely love the uniform, flashbacking to the days when a younger Sooyoung used to proudly wear hers, even when not on duty, while in the castle because of the attention Jiwoo would give her.

Everyone and their mother knew Sooyoung aspired for this position since first submitting her name for training. At one point in time, Jiwoo wanted the same.

“Why don’t you ask her?”

As if the three same-year friends were in a pact for how long they could go without speaking to their love interests, Haseul and Sooyoung were winning the competition. 

“I will.. Just give me time.”

The third person in their friend group, Jinsol, at least had her job as an excuse.

—-

_“Hyunjin, do I have permission to appoint someone in your place?”_

_All eyes were on the Head Knight-elect as she looked up from her half-eaten meal. Eyes heavily lidded and shoulders slumping, the Head Knight’s main stoic expression was replaced with one of despondency. To any citizen, it would’ve been a normal sight as she was often portrayed as someone who lacked emotion._

_But now the entire castle, and unfortunately the kingdom, knew why the great knight was on leave._

_This was what Hyunjin has been training so long for. Not only to live out her family’s legacy and help her sister secure a place in the castle - not that Jinsol and Jungeun would’ve ever kicked them out - but long ago, she had promised Heejin they’d see the world together when she snagged the highest honor of the kingdom (that wasn’t given by blood relations)._

_But with Heejin gone…_

_“Yeah, go ahead.”_

_Nodding solemnly, Jinsol mentally worked through the list of knights she believed were fit for the job. It needed to be someone as brave, as strong, and calculating as Hyunjin but now with her best knights stationed around the suspected wolf territories and rebuilding the Kim kingdom, her choices were limited._

_“Jinsol, what if I were to do it?”_

_Their heads whipped to the other end of the table where a shaky but determined voice rang out._

_The next morning, Sooyoung was approved for the Head Knight position._

\---

One would think the Jung stables housed dogs as well, judging from the growls and grunts echoing throughout the shabby building.

But it was just newfound best friends Yerim and Hyejoo using their full strength as they challenged each other to one of the toughest competitions known to humankind.

Arm-wrestling.

Hyejoo, having full blood advantage, pinned Yerim down easily. If she was playing against Hyunjin, it would’ve been more of a challenge but Yerim was gaining muscle quicker than normal - for a human at least - this past month thanks to their games.

With the annual New Years ball officially canceled and one of their school instructors doing house visits daily, the castlehold spent the first month of the new year holed up in various areas of their home. Jungeun in her room. Vivi all over the kingdom. Haseul in the classroom. Jiwoo in whatever room Jungeun was occupying. Sooyoung in whatever room Jiwoo was not in. Yeojin in the less populated knights’ barracks. Chaewon in the throne room. The newfound three-member clique in the stables.

Hyejoo, Yerim, and Hyunjin entered a secret fraternity of sorts, yet Hyunjin still kept to herself. They would attribute it to her grief and her default personality. In the stables, they could be as strong, as agile, as quick as they could without restraint. Almost paradise.

“Why do I always lose?” Yerim pouted.

“Because you never had any training,” Hyunjin monotonously reasoned, swinging from rafter to rafter above them, never missing a grip.

Before Hyejoo could laugh victoriously for winning another match (56-0), she felt herself get lifted slightly in the air as Yerim grabbed her collar. Even without formal workouts, Yerim was really getting stronger by the day.

Hyunjin swung herself around, knowing keeping her sister out of the knight clan was still a smart move.

“No, no, no, don’t hurt her,” a panicked yelp came out, accompanied by a hand tearing Yerim’s arms off Hyejoo.

Feeling her mother take her into her arms, Hyejoo whined as Sooyoung ruined their fun.

It was inevitable Hyejoo’s parents would find out about their alliance. With how much free time they had feeding one less mouth, having less visitors to entertain, and not having their daily cuddle sessions, they would naturally try to bond with their shared daughter.

(And check on the heartbroken sisters)

Hyejoo would never admit it out loud but she missed her lovesick parents.

“What if it wasn’t me who walked in?” Sooyoung huffed, still cradling her grumbling girl.

“We knew it was you,” the three nonhumans said, one muffled into the Head Knight’s shoulder.

Confused, Sooyoung let go of her precious daughter, stumbling back on the hay but Hyunjin was quick to jump down from the ceiling and catch her quickly. These private “wolf” sessions were doing wonders to her reflexes.

“Your footsteps,” Hyunjin answered Sooyoung’s unasked question. “That’s how I knew. You’re wearing knight boots and the only person who has those in the castle right now is you.”

Jinsol and her were the other owners but Jinsol’s footsteps were louder and hurried when not on missions and Hyunjin’s were barely heard.

“Your smell,” Yerim added. “You smell like chainmail oil and apples.”

When they practiced enhancing their senses on the first week of these wolf sessions, they started differentiating castle residents by smell. Sooyoung’s usual scent of flour and oven ash was replaced with iron and sweat. Vivi smelled more and more like turpentine and opium as she handled the kingdom’s wounds for returning knights and relocated villagers. Haseul smelled like parchment, busy writing music or letters or whatever she wrote in her closed door room. Jiwoo smelled like strawberry three-in-one body wash, in the routine of having shorter showers since birth. Jungeun reeked of valerian and chamomile - everyone knowing what she was using those herbs for.

“And your heartbeat,” Hyejoo finished.

It was steady and shallow. Even when catching them being animal-like minutes ago, it didn’t escalate. Not like Jungeun’s when Jinsol rode home - much more frequently than before - according to the wolf descendants' siblings.

Hyejoo knew of only one person that could make Sooyoung’s heart do that.

\---

_“MOM!” Chaewon screamed, jumping the last flight of stairs painfully, to get to her heaving mother._

_The princess could still see the backs of the second wave of aid down the path and was ready to chase after them but her mother clutched onto her shoulders, silently begging Chaewon to look at her._

_“I can get Mom back.”_

_But Jungeun shook her head. They both knew Jinsol was riding slower than usual to keep pace with the heavier carriages. Before Chaewon rushed down, Jinsol was ready to reroute herself back to the castle, seeing Junguen’s death grip on one of the pillars outside the castle doors. But Jungeun shook her head at her as well._

_This was her duty._

_And the more she played along with the council’s demands, the safer it would be for all of them._

_But Jungeun had to be stronger than that. Her recovery couldn’t depend on one person. On any person. This was her struggle alone as much as Jinsol and her darling daughter wanted to take part of that pain with them._

_Jinsol and Chaewon were more alike than they’d like to believe. The two needed to discuss their opposing politics behind wolves but Jungeun knew deep-down, they wanted the safety and well-being of everyone. Wolves included._

_It’s just that Jinsol was being forced to kill them to keep their good standing. With the right amount of triggers - all spoonfed to her by the council’s knight training - Jinsol snapped into a different person. They touched the surface of it when Jinsol took her sabbatical but Jungeun, and hopefully Chaewon, knew there was more to it._

_“Why?” Chaewon was near tears, not understanding why her mother let herself suffer like this._

_Why couldn’t her mother make it go away for good? Why couldn’t Vivi find a cure? Why wasn’t more research done?_

_“Because your mother has a job to do.”_

_“Her job is to love you too!”_

_They were so alike, Jungeun thought, stroking her unnerved child’s face. She knew they loved her - more than she believed she was meant to be loved - but they needed to transfer that love to other things, people, and tasks as well._

_“And she does.”_

_Jinsol and her promised this wouldn’t be a reenactment of their last setback. If Chaewon was in the room with them, she would join as well. An alliance to keep their family going strong no matter how many things were out of control. No matter how much time was against them._

_“And she loves you too. Don’t forget that.”_

\---

Vivi and Jiwoo formed an unspoken pact of their own. With Jungeun relapsing, the two employed themselves as Jungeun’s personal caretakers.

(Technically, that came with the job description as physician and handmaiden.)

With them also not wanting to sleep in their own rooms - for very different reasons as one involved a missing child and the other, a closed-off wife - they camped in Jungeun’s room. Their personal struggles were used for good as it let them keep an eye on Jungeun.

It helped that Jinsol was home every week - even if it was just to sleep armor-clad with her head in Jungeun’s lap - before riding off again. Her attacks were even less frequent than when Jinsol was home.

At least the ones they were allowed to witness.

It also helped that there were less duties around the kingdom as most people quarantined themselves, eyeing their neighbors as potential wolves. Only the Kim kingdom and surrounding villages were attacked but that didn’t stop everyone from getting up in arms. Everyone doubted their closest friends, family, and village people.

(Queen Seohyun was under scrutiny as well. She would be locked up in a reinforced version of Jungeun’s former tower during the next full moon.)

It also helped that Chaewon and Yeojin had a new bond.

How could they not when Yerim, Hyejoo, and Hyunjin would sneak off to the stables for hours?

The new bond between the princess and squire (“a knight for one hour,” Yeojin would add on) was a strange one as it involved them doing chores around the castle. Yeojin was picking up her sister’s slack. Chaewon was hoping this would mean more time for Jungeun to focus on herself.

“Chaewon’s getting better at folding laundry,” Jungeun observed, watching the two newfound best friends take on a mountain of clothes they were behind on from the open doorway to Yeojin and Haseul’s room.

“She takes after Jinsol that way,” Vivi said, knowing mentioning Jinsol was good in keeping Jungeun’s mind focused.

“By folding laundry?” Jiwoo tilted her head in confusion.

“By doing things for me that I can do myself.”

The more she focused on her wife’s timely returns, the less she ruminated on her terrible memories. 

“Her hair too. The color is fading out,” Jiwoo caught onto Vivi’s ploy.

But the new staff member also knew that Jungeun was also a bit nosy. (Something Chaewon has unfortunately taken after as well.) Nothing was better than gossiping among friends. They didn’t share the same age like the other trio of adults in the castle but they held a strong adoration towards each other like close friends should.

“So have Haseul and you talked yet?” Jiwoo brought up the first topic she could think of.

Vivi narrowed her eyes dangerously, making the person who asked that question regret her life choices.

“Have Sooyoung and you slept in the same room yet?”

Darting her eyes between her friends and glad Chaewon and Yeojin didn’t have supernatural hearing, Jungeun was in disbelief. These were pressing matters but she knew they were only discussing this in front of her so she’d have other things to think about.

(In her mind, she thanked them dearly.)

“You know you’re both lucky, the person you love - don’t look at me like that Vivi, you know it’s true - is with you in the castle,” Jungeun conveyed earnestly, hoping they wouldn’t feel guilty. “You should enjoy that, or at least try to.”

But the sorrowful eyes drawn her way was enough to tell her they were sorry for their actions. Vivi and Haseul have gone back to square one in avoiding each other around the castle like when Jungeun did the same when she first married Jinsol. Jiwoo and Sooyoung were acting like a former version of Jinsol and her when they used to avoid speaking of her quests abroad.

Now when Jinsol came home, which was more often than she asked her, she made sure to spend time with all the castle residents, with Chaewon alone, with Chaewon and Jungeun, and with Jungeun alone.

But before, when Jinsol was The Knight, Jungeun was like Jiwoo: avoiding conversations as to why Jinsol was compelled to take this position.

\---

_Jungeun groaned in pain as she stretched her cramped neck._

_It wasn’t every day you woke up with two other women in your bed. Only few times this happened was when she was first attacked. Knight Sooyoung and Vivi used to flank her on both sides as she slept until the next full moon, ensuring she was safe with them at her side._

_(Of course there’d be nights Sooyoung was not there and she was keeping another woman in the Kim kingdom company.)_

_Then Jiwoo and Vivi when she was in denial of her feelings for Jinsol._

_Then for months, it was Chaewon and Jinsol after the Great Attack._

_Then, Vivi and Haseul after Jinsol rode off as a knight._

_(Those nights ended a lot better than the most recent time Vivi and Haseul slept next to each other.)_

_Vivi was still a constant but this time it switched back to Jiwoo on Jungeun’s other side._

_Faded pastel pink and dull auburn hair greeted the queen’s peripherals, marking the first full day since Jinsol’s departure. She would not classify what happened yesterday as an anxiety attack. (Little did she know, they take different forms. Even Vivi was a bit confused with her most recent attack which was only Jungeun feeling hot to the touch.) Jiwoo could’ve been sleeping next to her wife and Vivi could use the time to properly grieve Heejin’s absence. Jungeun was grateful as much as she was peeved._

_The moment Vivi and Jiwoo’s eyes opened, Jungeun had the first word._

_“You two don’t have to coddle me.”_

_“We’re not.”_

_“We just want you to know you don’t have to go through this alone.”_

_Jungeun didn’t have much to refute, rushing to the bathroom, as another strange attack hit her this morning, this time accompanied by nausea. She was thankful for Vivi and Jiwoo by her side, holding her hair back and rubbing soothing circles up her back._

\---

“Your breath is fogging up my mother’s throne,” Chaewon huffed as she polished the cresting rails of the red chair.

Yeojin huffed, fogging the gold up more, and used her rag to wipe it off, streak marks left in its wake. Chaewon immediately went over and shined it right up properly, giving Yeojin a huff.

Yeojin didn’t know what brought on the chore addiction as even Jungeun didn’t get like this. Her aunt might’ve thrown away clothing articles into the nearest donation bin if left unattended but this morning, Chaewon had to be held back from throwing away an entire portrait because the person in it was ugly.

“So what...” Chaewon looked over her shoulder to make sure no one was looking in. “...is the plan again?”

“You came up with it!”

“I know but I need you to relay it to me so I know you understand it.”

Yeojin saw another trait Chaewon picked up from her mothers: excellent leadership skills. It also didn’t help that Yeojin had a fading crush on the girl and would do everything at her beck and call.

“This afternoon, I will ride out to the tributary to wedge something into the pool tunnel entrance as an emergency getaway. Not enough to let water in of course. Then, I will sneak the two seater saddles into the stable and feed the quickest horse, good ol’ Lightning McQueen, extra food and help it recognize the sound of my voice. Then, I will...wait a minute...”

Dusting another portrait, Chaewon turned around innocently.

“I’m doing everything!” Yeojin whipped her rag in the air, suds spraying around the floor.

“Well, I came up with the plan!”

“I can’t do this alone!”

“Then go get someone else to help you!”

“I would but,” Yeojin gulped, turning her back to Chaewon so she wouldn’t see her watery eyes.

She didn’t even know why she was mad. Everyone had the right to have more than one friend. Chaewon and Yeojin had been bonding more than ever. Albeit, it came with a lot of bleaching solutions and white vinegar.

“Yerim’s busy. She’s always busy now.”

Yeojin also didn’t want Chaewon to take offense to her feeling jealous over Hyejoo. In the short span of time the princess and Ha knight knew each other, they had gotten extremely close. Even during music lessons, she was crass enough to ask if Hyejoo could sing or not, relieved that Hyejoo shook her head.

But Chaewon felt bad about the situation too. It wasn’t just Yerim hiding out in that stable.

But even if Chaewon and Yeojin felt jealousy towards two very different people, they would agree that it was best Hyunjin was in the stables with both their (distant) friends.

\---

_“Myrtle Snow?”_

_“Dead.”_

_“Fiona Goode?”_

_“Dead”_

_“Misty Day?”_

_“She’ll come back.”_

_“She’s dead.”_

_“NO SHE’S NOT!”_

_Clearing her throat, Yeojin went back to recounting the reports as Chaewon went through the census. This was supposed to be someone else’s duty but this wasn’t for the faint of heart._

_What they were secretly hoping for was not coming across a certain someone’s name. By doing this privately, they wouldn’t have to subject the castlehold to this._

_It didn’t fare so well as some residents were born with hypersenses._

_Having come from another training session - this one focusing on reaction rates with Hyejoo doing spectacularly as usual, the trio recognized what Yeojin was reading off of, even from outside the castle walls._

_Yerim’s bottom lip quivered at every name followed with a “dead” finalization. An assigned Head Knight was given the task of matching up reports to the kingdom census to get an accurate body count and then notify the families (if there were any). It had to be done by a knight from one kingdom over from the one affected so as not to produce bias in case someone wanted to dramatize the results._

_As Head Knight hadn’t been selected yet, Jinsol gave the task to Yeojin, feeling guilty for not letting the squire accompany her to Kim._

_Yerim let out a small smile as Yeojin was getting a taste of the job she badly wanted since she was a child._

_“She’s not coming back.”_

_“YOU DON’T KNOW THAT!”_

_Hyejoo practiced tuning them out, something Hyunjin and Yerim were better at doing, as their senses weren’t as sharp. But she hadn’t heard Chaewon’s voice the whole day and was hanging onto every syllable._

_Also hoping not to hear the name they all dreaded to hear again._

_“Shall we go through castle staff casualties?”_

_Hyunjin hung onto every word, listening as Yeojin and Chaewon flipped to the next page, not wanting to see their beloved friend’s name anywhere written on them._

\---

Hyunjin felt the air grow colder among them, meaning the sun was bowing down for the day, meaning it was time to head inside to not draw suspicion. She knew Hyejoo had her doubts about her plan but she had the right to.

It was her life on the line.

“I need you to relay it to me so I know you understand it.”

Even with them spending less time together, Hyunjin could see the knight and princess’ shared speech patterns haven’t strayed.

“Why do I need to understand it? I came up with it.”

Yerim sighed. Both knights were as strong as they were hardheaded.

“Okay, we get you into the empty pool tunnel which is large enough for you to roam in your wolf form. Your moms, Yerim, and I will take turns bringing you food and water throughout the day. If you have to go to the bathroom, there is an emergency opening at the top in the middle of the tunnel that you unlatch and push up. It’s quite a ways down but you’ll know because the ridging is different in that area. I’ll check that you closed it correctly when I escort Aunt Vivi to her visits since you’ll just have your paws.”

“We’re sure the tunnel is securely shut at the other opening? So I don’t drown to death.”

“I checked it this morning when I dropped off Aunt Vivi at the children’s hospital.”

Nodding in finality, the two turned to the door, only to see Yerim sitting dejectedly on a bale of hay.

They knew she wasn’t comfortable with enclosing Hyejoo in a dark tunnel. They reassured her that Hyejoo’s enhanced vision would come in handy and she’d stay close to the castle so they wouldn’t have to travel too far in the darkness to find her. As they’ve gotten close, Hyejoo had learned more and more about Yerim’s progressiveness.

(_“Your moms kept you in a cage!”_

_“It was for protection!” Hyejoo huffed, trying to pin Yerim down. Maybe training her was a mistake as she was gaining muscle quickly. She was bulging through her clothes already._

__

_“Yours or theirs?!”_

__

__

_“WHAT IF I KILLED THEM?!”_

__

__

_Yerim faltered at the thought. Hyunjin put the horse she was bench pressing down to restrain Yerim from going in and giving the Has a talk about animal cruelty._)

Tilting their head to the side, the two waited for Yerim to catch her through her peripherals, her retinas shifting at their puppylike movement.

(_After three and a half hours of squirming, Yerim cooled down. While Hyejoo’s parents’ decision was barbaric, it was way more surprising that Hyejoo was able to shift back even before the full moon sank. From what her parents had taught her, wolves in their purest form lacked control. Lacked discipline._)

Lacked a leader.

In their rendezvous, they drew no conclusions about what the wolf Hyunjin killed - cue pinning Yerim down for another three hours - meant.

(_“Well, if you didn’t kill them, you could’ve asked what a leader is!”_)

The creature called out to a leader and snapped at the sound of a specific tune. With the vast amount of newborns, wolf cries were hard to distinguish with the cacophony of cries around them but this newborn looked towards the north mountains when a stronger, more intune howl rang out.

(_“Then why doesn’t Hyejoo have a leader?”_)

Conclusion: The newer generation were more feral and answered to an older pack. Possibly the ones who turned them.

It left the case of Hyejoo’s “leader” open but they’d figure that out after this full moon.

(And after Hyejoo stopped stressing about getting her parents to have a conversation.)

At the faint sound of footsteps approaching, the girls scrambled to look casual, knowing who was approaching based on how they distinguished people.

Yeojin, hiding a saddle underneath her overcoat, walked in on Hyunjin counting horses, Yerim flossing her teeth with hay, and Hyejoo doing push-ups.

\---

_Chaewon knew it would be different._

_When she snuck into her mother’s office, she was usually accompanied by her friends. Sometimes, a friend would be absent due to chores or wanting alone time. Like Yeojin wanting to learn slight-of-hand tricks from Vivi. Or Yerim helping Jungeun donate clothes - all of them looking like clothes they “lost” (aka left lying around the castle). Or Heejin trying a new recipe with Haseul._

_But the less people that knew about this, the better._

_Opening the bottom drawer slowly, she prepared to memorize the layout of folders so she could replicate the setup. She had just finished having a private dinner with Jungeun in the kitchen - both knowing it was Chaewon doing a mental evaluation of Jungeun but not speaking on it._

_The family time was still much appreciated and Chaewon can still feel the sweet kiss Jungeun placed at the crown of her head as she walked her to her room._

_(“You really do take after your mother, Chae?” Jungeun squeezed her darling daughter as she turned in for the night._

_Chaewon beamed at her mother’s smile. Today was a good day._

_“But I take after your height unfortunately.”_

_Unable to keep a straight face, Chaewon giggled at her mom’s flabbergasted expression. A good day indeed.)_

_But the drawer was too easy to slide out and Chaewon saw why. Jinsol had taken the folders with her. Or maybe she destroyed them. Or hid them elsewhere._

_Chastising herself for not copying their contents earlier, Chaewon figured she needed all the knowledge she could find to help her execute her newly formed plan to get Jinsol home for good. _

_She didn’t really have a plan but it was nice to pretend._

_(It’s a royal thing.)_

_Frustrated at herself, Chaewon thunked her head backwards, knocking resoundly against one of the massive bookcases. A dusty scroll fell atop her head as revenge. After threatening the wooden furniture with her eyes, she took a peak at the scroll._

_From its browned condition, it had to have been written before she was born. From its lack of wrinkles, Chaewon could see it wasn’t opened many times. The author maybe wrote it once, rolled it, and stored it for someone to come across years later. Jinsol must’ve hastily rearranged before she left as scrolls were usually stacked neatly so as not to roll off the shelves._

_“Train 24/7.”_

_“Be perfect.”_

_“Don’t date non-royals.”_

_“Once our daughter marries, she will assume the throne, leaving us to retire in harmony.”_

_“My wife and I would ask that you reconsider your stance on marriages of conveniences.”_

_Not recognizing the two signatures at the bottom - one starting with a prominent J, and the other imbuing a star and heart into it - Chaewon wouldn’t rely on this being noticeably lost. There were hundreds of scrolls scattered about - what was her mother even looking for - and by the time Jinsol would notice its absence, Chaewon would have formulated a real plan._

_Tucking the scroll into her sleeve, Chaewon turned in for the night._

_But not without checking on her mother, who was wrapped in Jiwoo’s embrace and tucked into Vivi’s shoulder._

\---

If there was another bond made within the castle walls, it was the love of theatrics. Grasping at her chest and pointing accusatory fingers, Haseul and Yeojin had to regain their breath after running into each other in the last place they’d think of.

The knight barracks.

Yeojin knew Haseul was avoiding Vivi. Maybe they wanted to grieve separately. Maybe one misspoke. Whatever happened on the night they shared a room, it had broken up her favorite adult duo.

(Don’t tell Haseul that.)

“You’re doing more chores than usual,” Haseul observed.

“I could say the same to you,” Yeojin replied.

Haseul knew Yeojin was hoping - like every person in the castle - for a romantic relationship between Vivi and her. They had heard all the excuses. That they didn’t need to prove independence or their feminism by not coupling. If they loved each other, they should be together.

“What are you doing here?”

“I was going to ask you the same question.”

Wondering why Yeojin’s blouse was untucked on one side, like something that was hiding underneath it had just broken free, Haseul waited for her answer.

Yeojin was a fidgeter. She could never stay in one place. When she first looked after her, she turned her back for five minutes to rehearse a song and Yeojin was under the bed. The knights’ barracks wasn’t a new location for her. When she wasn’t weighed down with homework - as Yeojin liked to call it even if their home was their school - she would ask the knights for stories about their latest missions.

It’s how Yeojin was the first to know of what Jinsol had become. “Had become.” Past tense.

With most knights rebuilding homes and relocating citizens, the residuals had boring scout tasks like escorting prominent figures and delivering goods. Their biggest job this year was tomorrow on the first day of the full moon: Protect the kingdom.

Something Haseul wondered if Yeojin still felt like doing.

“I guess I don’t really belong here, huh?”

If she could, Yeojin would tell Haseul all about Chaewon’s plan - most of it executed by Yeojin if she may add. That even if it wasn’t official knighthood duties, she felt as if she was protecting the kingdom her own way. Her tasks so far have been manageable but once they embarked on their journey, she would finally be doing her share. But no one could know what that was yet.

Deprived of human contact for days, Haseul took Yeojin into her arms. 

“Ummmmm. Haseul?” Yeojin muffled, cheeks squished against Haseul’s chest and arms. Arms Yeojin hated for how thin they’ve gotten.

“Yes?” Haseul whispered, filling her role of big sister.

Pausing, as if changing her mind about something, Yeojin simply returned the hug, “I love you.” 

She knew Yeojin was hiding something from her. Maybe because she lost her friend - who was legally her niece - but Yeojin hadn’t even bothered asking if she could inherit Heejin’s book collection that she had always borrowed from. While Yeojin did everything and anything - Haseul swore she saw her going to the stables earlier - Haseul kept on with her own responsibilities privately.

Neither ways were healthy coping mechanisms but it was how they served their grief while also serving their kingdom.

Knighted or not.

“I love you too.”

\---

_“Anything exciting out there?”_

_Chaewon had to laugh at Yeojin trying to make it seem like she was doing something important._

_Alas, she was simply standing on the balcony, looking towards the cotton candy sky. Like any sunset on a clear day. Like every day she spent holed up in this castle, waiting to do her part when she could’ve been taking action. There was nothing exciting about waiting._

_When she stepped onto the balcony, she had just missed Yerim, Hyunjin, and Hyejoo getting into a wrestling match in the gardens. As if they had heard her steps from so far away, they had turned mechanically and marched one by one into the stables._

_Chaewon made note that they followed a few seconds after the other._

_“Should there be?” Chaewon stepped aside so they could both share the middle of the balcony even if there was much room for Yeojin to sprawl out anywhere._

_“There could be though! Remember when we saw that red bird fly across the sky and collapse the beams for the local pig sty? It was like an explosion!”_

_Chaewon appreciated Yeojin making it seem like their lives weren’t monotonous. Something she knew Yerim would do if she wasn’t doing who-knows-what in the stables._

_Yerim invited them earlier in the week but Chaewon was busy decoding signatures and seals from older paperwork (aka the mysterious scroll) and Yeojin was helping Princess Seohyun prepare for her trip back home for her official coronation._

_A ceremony that Jungeun could only be there in spirit._

_(She noticed that Hyejoo and Hyunjin were a bit relieved that Yerim’s invitation was shot down.)_

_But pretending this lifestyle was suitable was getting harder by the day. Looking Yeojin up and down, Chaewon knew she couldn’t do this alone. If there was always someone to look at things in a different perspective - not optimistically like Yerim or cynically like Hyejoo - it was Yeojin._

_Eager hooves disrupted her thoughts and she looked down to see an impatient Jinsol sound the gate bells._

_“QUEEN JINSOL IS HOME!” Yeojin screamed before Chaewon delivered the good news, most importantly to her other mother._

_Maybe she could entrust Yeojin after all. The announcement of the queen’s arrival was informal - the council would have her for that - but Chaewon found it more to match her style anyway._

_Below them, Hyunjin and Hyejoo locked up the gates as Jinsol left her horse to Yerim, sprinting up to the castle to meet Jungeun halfway._

\---

“Same old sunset?”

Chaewon almost didn’t recognize that voice.

Hyejoo had grown a couple centimeters since they last had time together. But it was still the same Hyejoo. With how many changes Hyejoo had gone through, Chaewon would hide her envy. In the span of three months, the Ha family had moved kingdoms, moved houses, changed jobs, and lost a close friend.

Chaewon experienced one of those changes and as agonizing as it is - she wasn’t sure which of her friend’s mindsets she was adopting to reason if it was hopeful to wait for Heejin or not - it wasn’t even half of what Hyejoo went through.

Hyejoo’s sunsets were probably even different in the Im kingdom when she visited.

“Same old sunset. Different moon though.”

Chaewon travelled when she could but helping out her mother at home was something she took as her main priority. School, chores, and her cookie cutter appearances were on her agenda as well but they didn’t bring enough change to suffice her wanderlust.

“Why are you standing all the way over there?”

As much as things changed, Chaewon’s fond feelings for Hyejoo’s hadn’t.

It was deja vu to the night of her eighteenth birthday.

Same old Hyejoo.

Same old Chaewon.

Or so they hoped.

Hyejoo fiddled with her pockets. “To be honest Chaewon, I had a feeling you were mad at me.”

Hyejoo couldn’t confront Chaewon that sometimes in the stables, she could hear the princess sit on the castle steps, hear her heart racing for whatever reason - anger, betrayal, despair - then hear her turn around and go back into her safe home.

“I was never mad at you. I thought you were mad at me.”

“WHAT?!”

“I said what I said.”

Hyejoo didn’t prepare for Chaewon to hoist herself up over the railings. She didn’t mean her outburst to cause Chaewon to react that way. But the young Jung just sat on the railing. Knowing she couldn’t explain zooming at the speed of light to rescue her if she fell, she forced herself to stand right behind the princess to steady her in case.

Chaewon hid her winning smile well as she felt Hyejoo near.

“So now that we’ve cleared up that none of us is mad about the other, what did you mean by a ‘different moon?’” Chaewon queried, hoping to get back into the same old routine of meaningless conversations with the knight.

She had been so busy with her plan, she barely made time with Hyejoo. But she would bet most of that time was spent in the stables anyway.

“Well the moon has eight different phases to it. Sometimes it looks like a full circle. Sometimes half. Sometimes one of those French flaky breads my mom keeps trying to recreate in the kitchen for Hyunjin.”

Hyejoo forgot what it was like to make Chaewon laugh. She almost kept rambling but remembered that moon tracking was only a hobby for knights, astronomers, and wolves. At least Chaewon knew she was one of them.

Just one for now.

“You know so much about moons,” Chaewon scrunched up her face. “I don’t remember having a lesson on one in our science unit with Aunt Vivi since you’ve joined us.”

“Oh well I read a lot of books as a kid,” Hyejoo covered up.

Fighting the fist pump she would have given herself - because if she released one hand from her loose grip on Chaewon’s hips, she could fall - Hyejoo was proud she controlled her usual short circuiting around Chaewon.

(Something Yerim joked they should create a training program on.)

“B-b-but you’re still relearning how to write--"

“Doesn’t impact my ability to read, Chaewon,” Hyejoo grinned again, hampering another fist pump.

As she stuttered to defend herself, Chaewon found herself being pulled closer to an amused Hyejoo. The air must’ve been colder than she thought as Hyejoo was burning up. Just like last year, when they shared a blanket when Sooyoung gave them her life story.

“Didn’t think I’d be able to read those notes of yours, did you?”

They two fell back into their teasing bouts and for now, Chaewon didn’t mind that they were wasting time.

\---

_Hyejoo was asked to stay back while her classmates went to lunch._

_In Vivi’s hand were the back-and-forth notes between Yerim and Chaewon. Hyejoo had caught glimpses of what the notes were about earlier today, most of them surprisingly about her._

_(‘Come on Chae. Don’t think I didn’t see you walk in slow motion to make sure your path to school happened to cross Hyejoo’s,’ Yerim wrote quickly._

_Hyejoo read the whole note quickly before Chaewon snatched it and scribbled back angrily.)_

_Holding her hands up, Hyejoo could easily defend that none of those were her handwriting. But that’s not what Vivi wanted. As the only other nonfamilial family member that knows about her identity, Vivi knew that Hyejoo would be able to read this easily from her seat._

_For other humans, the angle and the lighting in the desk cubby holes would’ve been difficult but not to an animal with heightened vision._

_“You weren’t very subtle about your note reading,” Vivi teased._

_Since cutting off training when the Ha family left their cozy cottage for good, Vivi hadn’t seen Hyejoo in years. She was trying to relearn to read but with their income, reading material was scarce. But literacy never truly leaves if exercised occasionally._

_Hyejoo blushed. It wasn’t ever her conversation. It was nice to see Vivi again, except this time as a different teacher. Of academia, not animal instincts._

_“And not subtle with the blushing either.”_

_(The teacher would skim the note eventually on her way back to her chambers to see if Yerim - who she guessed would piece together Hyejoo’s identity first - had figured it out yet.)_

_Hyejoo apologized, saying she’d be more careful, hoping to get out of this conversation. Yerim and Chaewon’s topic of the day was her - how cute she was, that she was skilled in simple combat, if the council could arrange Chaewon to marry her instead._

_(That one was all Yerim, loving when she got the upperhand over the princess.)_

_The entertained teacher excused the blushing wolf, hiding the grim thought that even if Chaewon married Hyejoo, it would mean she’d have to assume the throne earlier than planned._

\---

Wondering if her suit would fit as nicely after she had “taste-tested” her cooking - code for: snuck in another meal - Sooyoung checked herself out in front of the mirror again.

Thankfully, her usual critic - Haseul - was out gallivanting with Yeojin in much deserved family bonding. Sooyoung bit her tongue as she missed it as well. Her child and wife had found groups of their own and she couldn’t take that away from them. Especially not when Hyejoo had met people who were of similar species.

Hyejoo had called both her parents in to showcase her new skills like attempting to talk to horses and catching Yerim as she jumped from the stable attic. Both parents pushed their feelings aside to give Hyejoo her full support, thanking Yerim and Hyunjin for being there.

(And vowing to never reveal this to the Jungs until the time was right.)

A throat cleared behind her and Sooyoung was ready to tell Haseul off again.

But instead, it was her exhausted and headstrong wife.

Moving kingdom to kingdom, lifestyle to lifestyle, the two couldn’t hold up silent treatment for that long. Poor communication would imperil their chances of survival. But they had gotten so comfortable in the castle, they put off things for the next day, and the day after that.

They wouldn’t blame any rebellious royal for wanting the cycle of monotony to end.

“Is Jungeun doing okay?” Sooyoung asked, praying she didn’t have to invite Jiwoo in.

This was their room. Jiwoo could enter whenever she wanted. She was never supposed to leave anyway. Hypocritical to think of as she was the one that would be doing the leaving soon. 

“Yeah, she’s doing great. Chaewon has been really curious about council meetings and Jungeun is explaining everything to her.”

Sooyoung pursed her lips and nodded as her beautiful wife stood like a danger outside the doorway.

“Have you come to get more clothes?”

Jiwoo shook her head to keep the tears from falling. Maybe Hyunjin and Yerim can give her a lesson in keeping her emotions at bay. All it took was for Sooyoung to cross the room and tilt her chin up for Jiwoo to lose it.

Closing the door behind her, Sooyoung sat Jiwoo down on the bed and cradled her close. Jiwoo wept loudly, grasping at Sooyoung like she was her anchor. Years ago, a Head Knight proposition would’ve been met with Jiwoo knocking Sooyoung backward with a running hug, kissing her silly.

Unable to fight her own exhaustion, Sooyoung fell back on the bed, taking Jiwoo with her. They held each other, unable to tell who would start talking first.

“Jinsol says she hasn’t had to kill any more wolves yet,” Jiwoo’s warm breath couldn’t be felt over her uniform and Sooyoung found another reason to hate her new job.

It took Jiwoo away from her and now she couldn’t feel her wife’s warmth anymore. Maybe Jiwoo was right to silently protest this decision of hers.

“Maybe you won’t have to either.”

Jiwoo let Sooyoung fill in the blanks to what she was getting at. When Sooyoung volunteered to take Hyunjin’s place, even temporarily, it was like the same feelings of anxiety came up full force. And she had witnessed what it could do if it escalated in her best friend Jungeun. Jiwoo was an optimist but she was also a realist.

While she counted the nights for Sooyoung to come home, she also dreaded them.

With Hyejoo, it felt different. Her skills were unparalleled to any human and even with this newer generation of wolves - apparently they were more unhinged than any knight has ever seen them - Jiwoo knew Hyejoo could hold her own. She still did a quick body inspection to make sure Hyejoo was truly okay and she would keep doing them after every mission.

(Now knowing of Hyunjin’s family tree, Jiwoo felt a little less weight on her shoulders knowing they were partners.)

Sooyoung had proven so much to her and to her kingdom. But maybe not enough to herself.

Jiwoo felt terrible for taking Sooyoung’s self discovery, which she thought was long over, away from her.

“Maybe I won’t have to either,” Sooyoung comforted, unsure if she was lying or being auspicious.

\---

_Sooyoung tried to tune out Jiwoo’s screams as she kicked at the slim wolf that had torn their carriage doors open, breaking off one of its hinges._

_She had never killed a wolf before as they were believed to be almost extinct. But nothing like adding another statistic to her card._

_Kicking it’s snout in and hearing it crunch under her boots, Sooyoung took the small victory and hopped out of the carriage to finish the job. She drew her sword out in the open space. Only to be ambushed by another wolf hiding behind the carriage. If she could think, she would be impressed with that plan of attack. It was like it was calculated._

_But that would mean that wolves would have the brains to be reasonable._

_Which they were not as they were threatening her family._

_She screamed as it’s claws tore into her shoulder blades and she could feel its hot breath getting closer, bracing herself for the bite. She could only hope Jiwoo was not looking out and witnessing this and that Hyejoo was still somehow still asleep._

_Rather, she was thrown aside, landing quite a ways away as the two wolves, aided by a massive third one that was hiding in front of the carriage, made their way to the carriage. With the waning strength she had, she pushed herself up with her sword but couldn’t support herself, falling back to the ground._

_Taking a look at the injured wolf with its nose bleeding out - Sooyoung couldn’t celebrate now - the larger wolf snarled at it and pushed it aside. It then picked up where the smaller one left off and pounced on the carriage, leaving no room for Jiwoo or Hyejoo to escape._

_“Don’t kill her please! She’s just a child!” Jiwoo begged the beast._

_A child’s loud cry was heard as the hefty great wolf bit into Hyejoo deeply, wrapping its strong jaws around her torso, swallowing her arm whole, to make sure the saliva would sink in accordingly. Then it released its grips, staining the carriage, Chaewon’s blanket, and Hyejoo’s formal shirt. Jiwoo had a strong grip on their daughter, and was able to kick it away, not able to concave its nose in like Sooyoung did to the other but with the same determination to ward it off. _

_The sight of her daughter’s blood dripping from its mouth made Sooyoung’s heart clench. _

_As if to add more to her failure, the other uninjured wolf got its turn and took the larger wolf’s place. Jiwoo’s leg stretched out once more but Sooyoung watched as this wolf clawed at it, making it twist the wrong direction swiftly. Ghastly cracking was followed by an ear piercing cry._

_“MOM!”_

_“I-I-I’m okay sweetheart. I’m o-o-kay,” Jiwoo choked out, teeth gritting in pain._

_Sooyoung fought her own tears from falling as her wife’s screams added to the guilt of failing to do her job correctly._

\---

Jiwoo was on her back comforting Sooyoung with light strokes through her new short hair, stripped from her uniform and in her sheer underclothing.

That night haunted them to this day. The panic. The pain. The piercing cries from the people they loved, never wanting to hear those sounds ever again. But Jiwoo would never blame Sooyoung for what happened.

The Dongs had stopped the carriage to confront a suspicious rustling in the woods, feeling like they were being followed. Before they knew what was happening, the Dongs were thrown out of the drivers’ seat meters away, leaving them open to attack. But Jiwoo wouldn’t blame them as well.

They were ill-equipped and unprepared at the time. Carriages were built for aesthetics, not security. Weapons weren’t all laced with silver yet.

But they were still here. Sooyoung was still here. Hyejoo was still here. That’s why Jiwoo was terrified of both of her family taking their vows to the kingdom. With the number of wolves unaccounted for after this recent attack, what if wolves attacked Sooyoung and Jinsol? Or Hyunjin and Hyejoo?

Her confidence in their skills could only account for so much.

“I caught Yerim lifting Hyejoo up by just her collar today,” Sooyoung admitted, soaking in the feel of Jiwoo against her.

Part of her decision to be re-knighted was to keep the children safe in the castle, especially since Hyejoo would be noticeably absent every full moon excursion, but also to make up for her lack of expert tactics that fateful night. Like Jinsol - except less induced by the council wanting a poster child - she wanted the wolves to pay for what they did.

“She’s getting very strong,” Jiwoo sighed.

“So is Hyejoo,” Sooyoung brought her head up, finding Jiwoo’s eyes.

When Hyejoo became knight, they didn’t think of what kind of danger they were truly putting Hyejoo in. Knighthood in Sooyoung’s time was less wolf-hunting and more kingdom-joining. But they couldn’t smother Hyejoo for too long.

Hyejoo had honed skills that worked in her favor, skills Sooyoung spent years perfecting (and the past few weeks sparring the fake dummies in the barracks).

“I know, I know. But I have the right to worry about her as her mother.”

Before Sooyoung could chip in that she was her other mother, Jiwoo continued.

“And I have the right to worry about you as your wife.”

Meeting for their first kiss of the year, Sooyoung and Jiwoo forgave each other for the childishness they both used against the other. They both only wanted safety and happiness for their family. They just approached it differently.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get your permission to take this job,” Sooyoung apologized against Jiwoo’s lips.

“I’m sorry I made you think you needed my permission,” Jiwoo whispered back, claiming Sooyoung’s lips again.

As a farmer’s daughter, Jiwoo’s notion of honor and bravery was different. But over the years, Sooyoung was enlightened that Jiwoo was just as brave and strong as any knight she knew. Their interpretations of sacrifice differed.

Sooyoung showed her bravery by facing danger head-on.

Jiwoo showed hers by taking all the precautions to make sure danger never reached them.

But with the many bar fights Jiwoo had been in and how Sooyoung used to triple bolt their doors and windows, they had learned from each other over the years and came to an understanding. Much like they were coming to now.

She would’ve come to Sooyoung sooner - as Sooyoung would’ve come to Jiwoo too - if time wasn’t at such a standstill within castle grounds. It was no wonder why Jinsol and Jungeun took so long to get together (and from what they know, Haseul and Vivi for that split second the night Heejin disappeared).

“Will you come back to this room tonight” 

“I will,” Jiwoo promised, hoping Sooyoung and her can sleep next to each other again. Like they were supposed to.

(Also, Jinsol was due home tonight so Jungeun would have someone to wake her up from her nightmares.)

They caught each other up on Hyunjin’s brilliant plan to keep Hyejoo safe this coming cycle. Sooyoung had made more vegetarian meals the past few days so more meat was reserved for Hyejoo. Jiwoo had purposefully avoided cleaning the spa room and the adjacent rooms - yelling at anyone with cleaning supplies going down that corridor - so she could use her job as handmaiden to check on Hyejoo when she can.

Even apart, they still were able to make a great plan together.

Deciding to spend some time with Hyejoo, they opened the door to a loud screech.

“JINSOL! YOU’RE HOME!” Jungeun screamed, quick footsteps as she rushed from whatever room she was in.

Sooyoung and Jiwoo couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation but knew that that was the same energy Jiwoo would exude when Sooyoung would come from her mission too.

\---

_Chaewon would bet her entire inheritance that Jinsol and Jungeun haven’t once released their hold on each other since Jinsol came back. It was her first arrival since going out, the endeavor taking six days and five nights, and the castlehold could feel a shift in the energy._

_Sooyoung, Hyejoo, Hyunjin, and Yerim - a quartet Chaewon had yet to see in action - were getting to work on a welcome home feast._

_The Jungs were going over logistics and rationing part of their supplies to the Kim kingdom while the kingdom rebuilt itself. New ways to trade were thought out from fossils to bugs to bells to “take on, leave one” swap shops. It wasn’t the most family friendly of conversations but they were together. Sitting in the armchair across from her parents in Jinsol’s office, Chaewon was glad this homecoming felt different._

_A good different._

_“Wait, I forgot something,” Jinsol’s glasses flew off her face at how fast her head turned upwards._

_Releasing her hold from Jungeun, Jinsol rushed over to give Chaewon an encompassing hug._

_“Sorry, I forgot to greet you formally when entering,” Jinsol murmured into her daughter’s hair._

_Chaewon didn’t even think she needed it, having gone years without banking on a hug from her mother at every return. Among the terrible news, the wolf attack seems to be contained from the Kim kingdom and some rural areas. From what they accounted for and what they hoped, most of the newborn wolves had perished in the militia and army retaliation._

_“That’s okay Mom, with a less spread out map, you’ll be home more right?” Chaewon looked at Jinsol hopefully._

_She didn’t have to look to know that her brunette mother was chewing on her bottom lip, taking the words out of her mouth. Jinsol was relaying facts and statistics but they were imbued with hope._

_“We can only hope,” Jinsol said, motioning Jungeun to come to that side of the room so she can hold both her girls again before she had to leave the following morning._

\---

Maybe asking for suggestions wasn’t Jinsol’s smartest idea.

Yeojin’s suggestion of dangling steaks from wires to lure wolves in was noted but not taken seriously. Meat was expensive and too precious to waste. Yeojin almost complained about how they had more than enough meat as Sooyoung was making more vegetarian meals than usual, using the excuse that her Aunt Jungeun was craving meat more.

Jungeun didn’t even bother shushing the girl, glad Sooyoung was experimenting in the kitchen to keep busy.

“That’s so weird, I’ve been craving steak like you too,” Jinsol whispered to her wife beside her.

Jungeun giggled and gave her attention to another one of Yeojin’s suggestions.

But Yeojin pressed on about shaving and eating wolf meat as an alternative. Haseul shushed her sister instead, not wanting to ruin anyone’s appetite. She could see Yerim grimace and leave her main course aside to pick at the side dishes.

Jinsol pulled something from her pocket when everyone - mainly Yeojin - ran out of ideas.

“Is that a blunt?”

Haseul slapped her hand over Yeojin’s mouth until Jinsol put the wooden contraption away.

“They call it a wolf whistle,” Jinsol explained, spinning it effortlessly between her fingers. “Some merchant gave it to us as a prototype but we’ve passing it around-”

“Mmmkkk mmm brrmt”

(Translation: like a blunt)

“And we can’t hear anything. Vivi, can wolves hear sounds we can’t?” Jinsol slid the one note flute to the physician.

Not picking the contraption, Vivi thought hard. “That is a theory but not enough testing has been done to prove it. There is evidence they have enhanced hearing as they can hear from distances humans can’t but that’s inconclusive as well.”

Inconclusive since humans didn’t see the need to find out more about wolves other than ways to slaughter them.

“May I?” Sooyoung asked, motioning at the whistle. Rather than getting up and walking to where Vivi was sitting or asking to slide it to her, she stood from her chair, bending over the entire table. Luckily her hair was short and didn’t get into Hyunjin’s or Yerim’s food.

Jiwoo shook her head in amusement.

Hyejoo facepalmed.

Just then a penetrating screech echoed into her ears and she doubled over, hitting her head on the table.

Sooyoung immediately dropped the whistle and the handkerchief she had used to cover the mouthpiece from cross contamination. Knights should be observant of everyone that could be affected before acting out. She would reread the training manual before bed.

“Did you not like the food sweetheart?” Jiwoo amended, rubbing up Hyejoo’s back, glaring at her wife.

Anyone would think it’s Jiwoo blaming her for her cooking.

Sooyoung sank in her chair, realizing she would have to work harder to be a better knight.

“I didn’t hear anything,” Chaewon asked, looking over at Hyejoo worriedly.

“It’s a high frequency undetectable to most human ears,” Vivi said, noting how three people at the table were straining to exhibit their agony - one in the more drastic of categories.

Hyunjin unclenched her jaw and reached under the table to hold onto her sister’s hand, seeing that Yerim was trembling but bouncing in a rhythm to hide it. The sound was grating but not to the point of collapsing. They looked over at Hyejoo who looked like she had just been punched in the gut repeatedly.

“I wonder if Haseul can sing that high,” Jungeun butted in, looking in pity at Hyejoo as well.

She must’ve gotten a spoiled part of the food. They’d look into stricter food regulations for delivery carriages later.

“Then the three of us can go on missions together. The knight, the queen, and the wolf whistler!” Sooyoung jumped up and down in her chair, trying not to make Yerim look like the odd one with her tremors.

She was also distracting the situation from Hyejoo as well. A consoling squeeze on her thigh meant a job well done.

Well almost.

“I think I’m going to finish up my filing,” Vivi said as she pushed herself away from the table and into her private room, nauseated with even the very idea of Haseul out on the battle lines.

\---

_“How is she?” Haseul asked, waiting in the hallway as Vivi closed Jungeun and Jinsol’s bedroom door._

_It had been weeks since they’ve seen an attack and Haseul wasn’t even sure if Jungeun had one. Jinsol had only been gone a few hours and the castle was flashbacking back to a time of secrets and assigning shifts to check on the queen._

_“Jiwoo’s in there right now. She said she is going to sleep there tonight to keep her company and I think I’ll join her,” Vivi said, hoping Haseul wouldn’t get the wrong idea._

_She wasn’t trying to avoid another situation like their almost kiss but her job was calling her. In no time, she’d be getting requests for home and hospital visits. As there were no major ailments at the castle - she would consider Jungeun’s anxiety and Hyunjin’s grief dire too but the council wouldn’t recognize those as official diagnoses - she’d have to go out._

_“Oh…” Haseul figured Vivi was trying to avoid her. “Look, Vivi, I don’t want to ruin what we have now.. This morning, a lot of emotions were running through me.. I was just overcome by them, I’m sorry.”_

_Vivi wanted to reach out to Haseul but she feared Haseul flinching away again. It was her job to fix problems - not that Haseul needed to be fixed - but this one, she had no solution to._

_“What if I want you to ruin it?” Vivi asked gently._

_It was not the time and place but she needed a concrete answer before she was buried in work._

_“You don’t mean that,” Haseul mumbled out._

_She wasn’t as avid a reader as their precious daughter, but she knew that grief sometimes made people act differently. Jinsol went on a war spree. Hyunjin closed Heejin off for years. Sooyoung had just confided in her that she would take the Head Knight position once Jinsol returned._

_Vivi wanting her back was too much of a change._

_It had to be the grief talking._

_Sighing, both women returned to their separate rooms, realizing maybe their bond wasn’t as strong as they thought it was._

\---

“That one’s yours.”

“And that one’s definitely yours.”

Jungeun and Jiwoo giggled among themselves as their wives were up to their usual antics: seeing how many chins they can make by crimping their necks. If they didn’t know the two were going to ride out tomorrow afternoon on a life-threatening mission, Jiwoo and Jungeun would’ve relaxed at the sight of their two favorite idiots.

With Vivi locked into the safety of her single bedroom, the two best friends felt like they could talk about their loves without feeling like they needed to walk on eggshells around their lovesick doctor.

Throwing an arm over Jungeun, Jiwoo watched their darling wives make the ugliest faces to win this chin competition. As the Ha family and Jung family met for the second time in their lives, Jiwoo noticed they were merging into similar lifestyles.

Jiwoo was never going to be a queen and Jungeun, never a handmaiden, but their current setup was marginally identical.

One mischievous but determined daughter.

One mother who handled their business at home.

One partner who rode off into the grim uneasiness of the outside world.

Jiwoo wouldn’t lie that she as much as she feared for her family’s life, she feared of also becoming too much like Jungeun. She had seen what too many tragedies in life could do to one’s mental status and while she was less pampered than the queen could ever be, she was afraid she couldn’t handle herself if she reached a breaking point.

“I’m guessing you won’t be sleeping beside me tonight,” Jungeun teased.

The queen saw that the Ha family was finally sitting on one side of the table during dinner. Hyejoo must’ve been so relieved not having to remember whose side she sat on last, keeping a mental list of tableside seating arrangements for the past few weeks.

It didn’t help that Sooyoung and Jinsol stopped their chin competition and looked their way, Jinsol throwing over a wink. Jungeun felt her cheeks heat up. She excused the hot flash as embarrassment.

“What? I don’t want you third-wheeling us either,” Jiwoo laughed, fending Jungeun off easily.

Maybe too easily.

Jungeun’s self-defense wasn’t as strong as before. Besides an overzealous citizen begging for more rights than the kingdom provided and an assassination attempt here and there, Jungeun didn’t need to work so hard to guard herself from outside threats.

(Internal threats made up for that splendidly.)

And as much as Jiwoo loved sharing with her friend, she didn’t want to lose her fighting spirit that kept Hyejoo and Sooyoung going. Even if she would be waiting in a castle, she needed to stay alert as if they were still living in their shacks and cottages across the land.

“Will you be alright?” Jiwoo asked in a soft voice.

Jiwoo waited for an answer she knew would never come. Jungeun’s small nod was short of assurance and Jiwoo understood. As monotonous their life was, every day was still a little different than the first. But she’d wait here for Jungeun to get better.

Wait for the war to be over.

Wait for Hyejoo to find her place (which she hoped she had found with the Dong siblings).

Wait for Sooyoung to get home.

Wait for everyone to be safe and sound and sane.

Wait for a happily ever after.

\---

_At the first ringing of the castle gates’ bells, Jungeun was out the double doors, hearing Yeojin scream something briefly. She was glad that Jinsol matched her in enthusiasm, flinging her helmet across the front lawn to catch her safely._

_(Haseul tried to catch it but was knocked backwards.)_

_Engulfed in her arms in no time, Jungeun breathed her in shamelessly, sweat and grime be damned. By the strong sniffing from Jinsol, she grinned that Jinsol was unapologetic in breathing her in as well. They could feel the other let out the stress of the days apart dissipate over them as their hold on each other loosened._

_“That’s a trio I didn’t know of,” Jinsol whispered._

_“Chamomile, lavender, and valerian?” Jungeun listed, wondering if that’s what she smelled like more than her perfumes and soaps._

_Jinsol shook her head, filling in the blanks why Jungeun had those roots running through her system._

_“I’m talking about Hyunjin, Yerim, and Hyejoo,” Jinsol corrected, half-hoping, half-dreading why Jungeun was drowning herself in relaxants._

_They held each other in the cold air, one that would’ve been filled with the hustle and bustle of preparing for the annual New Years celebration. But they welcomed this silence._

_Jinsol saw Chaewon lean against the open doorway. Before she left, she had looked up and saw a silhouette look down from Chaewon’s window. Chaewon watched her leave. Chaewon watched her make the hard choice of letting Jungeun collapse on the castle steps to do her duty. Chaewon had been taking care of Jungeun in her absence._

_Just like before._

_But looking at a daughter who couldn’t even tell her her personal politics about wolves until provoked in their spa room, Jinsol remembered that Chaewon fit into their promise. Jinsol and Jungeun promised no more secrets. Not with each other._

_Not from their daughter._

_“How many attacks?” Jinsol asked, loud enough for someone else to hear._

_Without glancing behind her, Jungeun knew it could only be meant for their third family member. Before, Jinsol was in slight denial. But this being one of their first conversations since her return, Jungeun knew this time it would be different._

_“Three.”_

_Chaewon nodded solemnly. “Nothing major though. Mom managed them very well.”_

_As grim the topic was, the two moms couldn’t help but smile at Chaewon’s answer._

_“And how many kil-I mean attacks on your end?”_

_They could practically hear Chaewon’s sharp intake of breath at the question._

_(The three in the stable sure did.)_

_“None.”_

\---

Sooyoung looked over the map one more time. Jinsol had brought home an updated version with marks of wolf burrows.

The new (technically old) knight was mostly looking to see if Hyejoo’s hideout had been discovered. They had made plans to clear the area out but none of them had a good enough excuse to leave the castle on their own yet without looking suspicious.

But she was also seeing the areas Jinsol and her would be scouring.

“You know, you can take that with you. Just fold it up and put it in your breast plate,” Hyunjin said from the doorway.

Being of practically the same rank, she didn’t wait for permission to enter - neither should she as they were practically family as Jungeun would say.

“Is that where knights keep documents now?”

Sooyoung recalled them carrying knapsacks which weren’t always secured and often messed with quick turns when in combat. Pockets were more advisable but the suits were built for ornament, not practically.

“I have pretty good memory but I’ve kept a few documents there,” Hyunjin looked over the map as well, looking at the progress thus far.

(Hyunjin didn’t want to think about the last letter she tucked there, now ruined by the salt water she desperately swam in to get to the Kims. Yerim tried to salvage it but to no avail.)

“That comes from the wolf genes? The memorization?” Sooyoung asked, finding it strange to say that to someone other than her daughter. It explained Hyunjin and Yerim’s mother’s behavior the last time Sooyoung saw her.

“No, that’s just from training.”

They looked over the logistics in silence. Hyunjin would’ve discussed that Jinsol was one of the few knights that still carried an additional documents knapsack, filled with all sorts of folders. But Sooyoung would figure that out soon.

As the candle wicks grew smaller, Hyunjin folded up the documents in a way she knew would fit in Sooyoung’s uniform.The exited the room without a word.

The walk down the hall to their chambers was just as quiet.

“You’re never really prepared for what you’ll be faced with,” Sooyoung sighed. “No matter how much training.”

Hyunjin wasn’t sure what inspired Sooyoung to go on this rant but listened carefully. There was a hint that she wasn’t referencing this current mission.

“Have you killed wolves before?”

“Just one. Didn’t think I could do it to be honest.”

Little did they know, some residents with their doors ajar were all listening in. Jiwoo smiled bittersweetly at the two knights’ bonding moment. Vivi had stopped formulating a plan on how to prevent Haseul from prematurely volunteering her services in case Sooyoung’s suggestion at dinner inspired her. Haseul stopped worrying why Vivi was offended at the thought that she could be on the frontlines. Yeojin wanted the hot gossip. Yerim didn’t need to strain as they all wondered what Sooyoung was referencing.

But hearing Hyejoo and Jiwoo’s heartbeat remain steady meant this wasn’t a secret in the Ha family. Hyejoo was okay with her mother killing one of her kind.

There was much to learn about Hyejoo.

Like how Hyunjin felt about Sooyoung at this moment. She could only think of one incident where Sooyoung would’ve come face to face with a wolf. And when she arrived on the scene, there was only one wolf there barely clinging onto its life.

“When did this happen?” Hyunjin fished for details, not caring that they were at perfect hearing range from the rest of the castle.

“The night of Chaewon’s tenth.”

\---

_Sooyoung struggled to blink away the excruciating pain of being thrown like a rag doll._

_But Jiwoo’s screams and Hyejoo’s cries were harder to bear._

_With her blurred vision, she saw three wolves poached outside the carriage, the bigger of the three pushing the two outside to want an up close view of the damage they caused inside. The fact that Sooyoung could still hear her family - as heart wrenching it was - still meant they were alive._

_Which means the wolves weren’t trying to kill them? They didn’t even try to kill her?_

_And for what?_

_To derive sick pleasure from the slow death of humans?_

_Using her bent sword as support, she stood up shakily and saw two more figures join the party. Except these were human shaped._

_Taeyang and Hyorin._

_In an effort to save the Has in the carriage, they slashed at the wolves with everything they had. Either Sooyoung’s eyes were deceiving her or Hyorin was moving almost at the same speed as the wolves._

_Taeyang made up for his lack of speed in pure adrenaline. _

_Something Sooyoung wished she had right now._

_They were lucky to get a few hits in, Hyorin flipping - Sooyoung was definitely seeing things - off her husband to land a calculating blow into the monster's chest. If they were able to flee after this, Sooyoung knew this one would be left behind._

_Snapping out of whatever it was mulling over, the largest of the three beasts put the amateur fight to rest and gave the two knights a final slash across the chests. It motioned to the injured one to do the honors. Blood dripping down its snout, the injured wolf had newfound energy to throw the married duo towards the carriage, knocking it over on its side and partially burying them underneath, blood spraying the road. Jiwoo and Hyejoo tumbled out to the side of the road and Sooyoung choked back a cry._

_Whose blood it was more of, Sooyoung didn’t want to figure out. If the Dongs weren’t dead yet, they would suffer a painful bleeding out._

_The injured wolf stalked over to finish the job but the larger one stopped it, snatching something swiftly with its teeth from one of them and giving it to the injured wolf as collateral._

_The smaller wolf licked greedily at the blood sleeping through the cloak the larger one gifted it ._

_(It would later be the same cloak that set off Hyunjin’s first wolf rage when she recognized it.)_

_It was a confused Sooyoung left with the means to ward off three strong freaks of nature._

_Another cry from her wife and a wail of intense suffering from her child gave her the push she needed. With renewed energy Sooyoung staggered over, driving her sword deeply into the distracted larger wolf’s chest._

_Turning around to finish the job, she saw her kicked victim struggling to lift itself to the safety of the woods, still sucking maniacally at the cloak’s blood. And the lanky one running away, trying to carry its slain brethren with it. Sooyoung almost voiced out that it was dead already but didn’t bother._

_Not like the beasts could understand her anyway._

_Finding their fleeting presence insignificant, she tried weakly to lift the carriage. Maybe she could save them. Exhausted, she collapsed against the overturned carriage, keeping her sword at the ready. _

_“Hyunjin…” Sooyoung huffed. “Yerim...I’m so sorry.”_

_Jiwoo crawled over, making sure Hyejoo was at least still breathing, wondering why Sooyoung wouldn’t look at her._

_At them._

_She reached out weakly to run her hand through Sooyoung’s hair. But Sooyoung cried harder, feeling unworthy to be touched by the hand of a woman she promised to protect for the rest of her life._

\---

Chaewon let herself be entertained by the vapor in her breath as she breathed in the midnight air before getting back to business.

Yeojin let out a Brrrrrrrrrrrr-aaaaaaa, McQueen followed them out the stable and to the knights’ barracks entrance. 

(The story of McQueen’s naming traces back to a combination of the kids’ favorite delivery carriage and unable to choose their favorite monarch.)

The knights’ gates would be easier to lock up in silence - something Yeojin had been practicing while she visited the barracks - in case someone was on the balcony looking out into the castle grounds. Also, this particular gate opened to the woods making an escape less obvious.

Chaewon shot down Yeojin’s idea to sneak extra relaxants in their food to keep their family asleep longer than usual.

(Especially since her mother had taken some earlier the week to calm her churning stomach.)

The plan was brilliant if executed flawlessly. (Don’t ask Yeojin to relay it back, she did it twice in the stables to a satisfied Chaewon.) The castle residents would most likely sleep in as Jinsol and Sooyoung would need the extra hours before their four day mission. Vivi would not need a horse to ride out into the kingdom as it would be the day of the first full moon, thus the stables would be empty.

Unless that trio of friends wanted to sneak in an earlier whatever-they-were-doing hangout.

But Chaewon and Yeojin banked on them being back before the sun rose. The council, though powerful and threatening, feared a wolf attack as much as any citizen. Maybe even more so than citizens as they quarantined in their fortified castle that rivalled in size and grandeur than all castles combined.

Which means they would be forced to listen to what Chaewon would have to say, sending her on her way swiftly to protect themselves. And the council would not want to be responsible for any royal for three days or sending them back too late.

Lost in her thoughts, Chaewon didn’t realize they had crossed the castle borders and Yeojin had locked up. Those sleight of hand lessons came in handy after all.

“Ready Princess?” Yeojin called up from McQueen, waiting for Chaewon’s hand to hoist her up.

No more waiting.

Seeing Hyunjin put her life in the council’s hands to give Yerim a place to stay.

Seeing Hyejoo volunteer for a position to secure her parents’ stay in the kingdom.

Seeing Yerim risk a life of adventure outside to keep the castlehold intact.

Most recently, seeing Yeojin risk years of inexperience to fight in her aunt’s place.

But most importantly, hearing Heejin do the most unthinkable to save a crown she couldn’t even touch. The remaining of her peers, it was time Chaewon stopped waiting and answered to a greater purpose. Making sure one particular scroll was tucked into her sleeve, Chaewon pushed herself up and kicked her heels before Yeojin could.

\---

_“Relay it back to me so I know you understand it.”_

_“Are you serious right now?”_

_“I need to make sure you understand it.”_

_The frigid November air didn’t phase the trio as they waited by the edge of the road, sneering at how freely people rode around as if the full moon wasn’t out. These people were feeling safer as the number of attacks dwindled._

_How naive._

_“Are you sure it’s the royal carriage that left?”_

_“I CAN RECOGNIZE A ROYAL SEAL!”_

_“You sure Tao? You look like you’re lacking sleep.”_

_“My dark circles under my eyes are naturally like that!”_

_Another carriage drove by, sounds of merriment and joy seeping from its comfort. This was almost too good to be true. The trio almost felt guilty to attack a child but that was the plan - which they weren’t going to relay as they’ve done it multiple times today to appease their tall leader’s ego._

_“And we’re sure the princess is in the carriage?”_

_“I smelled the expensive perfumes from my post.”_

_“Really? I smelled pineapples.”_

_“Will you two SHUT UP?”_

_“I thought you wanted us to relay the plan back to you, prime leader?”_

_“I’m not your leader. Do we need to go over how wolves are made?”_

_“I’m very aware. After all, I’m the one picked to infect the princess.”_

_“And she’ll answer your call. Just don’t ruin that precious jaw so I don’t have to pick up your slack," Kris warned, ruffling the shortest’s hair._

_“I’ll try not to,” Luhan gritted his teeth._

_Quiet befell them and they readied themselves to carry out the mission. Decades of discrimination and extermination had brought them to this drastic route._

_“What’s on your mind honey?” They heard coming from the west._

_An unfortunate royal family’s child was going to be spared but their bond was too strong to sympathize with this family’s future grief. Waiting for the world to turn in their favor had cost them too many members and time._

_The preceding mission would mean waiting one more month if the job was done right but it would give them more than enough time to regroup and build their army._

_The three wolves silenced their thoughts and didn’t mind waiting some more._

  


**NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: NEXT FULL MOON**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q (ourtuneisohigh): And we're back! Thank you for being incredibly patient with us this last month. I hope you are all doing well. You'll unfortunately have to wait another month for the next update but this'll give you a lot to mull over. And Heejin fans, don't think we haven't forgotten about you. [Twitter](https://twitter.com/0TlSH)
> 
> N (LazyNinja): Hey readers, it's been a while and we are very happy to get back to the story. Thank you for your support over all this time. We know it's been a very trying time for everyone, we hope you are managing well in this difficult time. deep breaths, drink water, eat meals, try to sleep. we will try to keep this going well and give you all a nice distraction. Please let us know what you've thought of this update! did you see those cameos happening? [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_LazyNinja_) | [CC](https://curiouscat.me/_LazyNinja_)


	17. Puzzle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Format as follows:**
> 
> _Italics: Past_  
  
Straight (but really gay): Present  
****  
  
**[TW: VIOLENCE]**  


To say the blonde Jung queen was livid, was an understatement.

It had nothing to do with her new knight partner, who was riding twenty meters behind in case Jinsol decided to take out her anger on her. 

Sooyoung kept one hand on the hilt of her sword as a precaution. A stray wolf could cross their paths at any moment and Sooyoung feared for its safety more than her best friend’s.

(Thinking back to their recent fencing bout, Jinsol was more than capable of defending herself.)

Not only did they ride off hours before required, atop their missions to annihilate any wolves in sight, they were on the lookout for two missing Jung castlehold members.

Sooyoung thought she could enjoy a few more hours in her wife’s arms before checking in on Hyejoo’s new den: the tunnel leading to the now-empty Jung pool. Neither tasks were accomplished as Sooyoung and Jinsol rode off at the break of dawn. Sooyoung wasn’t even sure what territory they were in anymore as an angry Jinsol led the way. Even forbidden magic wouldn’t be able to get her out of her trance.

“I swear when I find her..,” the queen grumbled, narrowly missing a low hanging branch if it wasn’t for her horse ducking down to sniff at a rock.

Sooyoung’s horse wasn’t as courteous. Her face smacked full of leaves made up for Jinsol’s dodge.

“I’m going to mentally rip her limb from limb,” Jinsol continued. “Then I’m going to hug her so tight and never let her go.”

With how distracted Jinsol was, Sooyoung wondered if she’d have to get her second wolf kill in her lifetime on this trip.

\---

_“And to what do we owe the pleasure, Princess Jihyo?”_

_“I think that’s Eunbi.”_

_“You imbeciles, that’s clearly Soojin.”_

_Chaewon waited for the council members to stop guessing her identity. Each second that passed meant a second lost on their journey back home. Covered in dirt from head to toe, Chaewon needed the disguise to get the opportunity to step into this room. The iconic Jung blonde hair was still grey and now hidden by the dirt though, maybe not her best idea but it got her here and that was all that mattered._

_It was the first time the young princess felt small._

_The seniles before her surveyed her family’s every move. They were the reason why her parents were married. The reason why her mother Jungeun couldn’t get the proper diagnoses for years. The reason why her mother Jinsol had become a monster, more than the ones she was forced to hunt._

_The men behind the curtain. The puppeteers. The ones that called the shots for the whole land._

_Milieu’s Conseil de Quinze. _

_(Council of fifteen.)_

_The group of distinguished elders was made up of prestigious lineages from each kingdom. Each had their own goals of furthering their own kingdom’s wealth yet they worked together to run everything. The Queens and Kings merely figureheads for the citizens to listen to._

_The large ornate room was embellished in golds and silks. Enough trinkets filled the great hall that could easily be traded to feed the entire kingdom for a year. If they allowed Yeojin inside, Chaewon would’ve asked her to pickpocket a few items._

_(She was hoping Yeojin was already doing that as she waited in the foyer.)_

_“I-I-It’s Chaewon.”_

_Several withered heads turned her way, almost impressed that she had a voice._

_“P-p-princess Jung Chaewon of the Jung kingdom!,” Chaewon pushed with bravado._

_Waiting until recognition set in, hisses among the council chorused as they matched a name to the face. She picked up snippets unwillingly._

_‘The daughter of the crazy one.’_

_‘The daughter of the violent one.’_

_‘The one with the monogamous parents.’_

_‘The product of ‘true love.’’_

_All about her parents. _

_Never her._

_It was time Chaewon wrote a story for herself._

\---

Thankfully the lantern Yerim brought with them for Jiwoo eased her strained eyes as they looked for Hyejoo in the dark pool tunnel. Though it was early morning there was little to no light in the long tunnel.

(Yerim had decent night vision but wanted to ease things for the concerned mother.)

Hyejoo ate a couple hours earlier but it had been years since she had transformed in a close vicinity to her mother. Jiwoo was being extra maternal with her. While they should’ve been concerned about Jungeun relapsing - Haseul was thankfully still in the castle - a mother’s love prevailed.

Jiwoo had dragged Yerim to check on Hyejoo for the third time today. With the shortages of knights on patrol and Hyunjin and Vivi tracking down the missing girls, Jiwoo and Yerim were the strongest - at least physically - remaining people in the castle.

A playful and blurry still-human Hyejoo was running as many loops as she could along the inner tunnel walls.

Hyejoo fell from the ceiling at their surprise visit, missing her den more and more. There she could do as many goofy stunts without an audience. She wanted to get acquainted with her makeshift den before the full moon. It wasn’t a perfectly circular tunnel as there was a raised portion to the side for architects and engineers to walk alongside in case the foundation fell through. There were filtration grates installed every few meters but someone - she guessed Hyunjin or her mother - was gracious enough to unfasten them earlier in the week to allow her to run from end to end.

(Which she’s done eighty-seven times.)

A large slab of seared meat was given to her as an apology for intruding but was accompanied by soft giggling coming from the purple haired guest. 

“Don’t make me throw you, Yerim.”

“Come on Hyejoo, be nice to me.”

Hyejoo sighed and looked towards her mother who couldn’t hide her gaping mouth.

The Ha child had grown much since the last transformation she had in front of her mother so she couldn’t blame her mother for gawking. With how tall she had gotten, her wolf form followed suit. There was an absence of mirrors in the woods so she had yet to see how big she had gotten. She could sense her mother was picturing how big her wolf form would be later tonight.

But Jiwoo had other thoughts. Hyejoo’s canines extending more than usual - signalling her transformation tonight - into the barely cooked meat didn’t scare Jiwoo as much as it did before.

“They haven’t found her yet,” Jiwoo sighed. “Vivi has joined Hyunjin in the search as well.”

Yerim looked between them. Did Hyejoo ask a question? She thought only wolves and their descendants had a special connection. Hyunjin, Hyejoo, and her couldn’t quite communicate telepathically but they could read moods by way of heartbeat and subtle body language.

Yerim spent years cultivating her natural skill to communicate with other species as well.

“Mother’s intuition,” Jiwoo answered for her.

Yerim was taken aback a second time. Could she read her mind as well?

“Trust me Yerim, I know my daughter well enough to know what her current worries are,” Jiwoo fluffed Hyejoo’s array of blankets - that she may or may not have raided from the royal linen closet.

“You said ‘her,’” Yerim was proud of herself for her memory, something she’d been working on in their stable sessions. It was Chaewon and Yeojin missing. Jiwoo should’ve said “them.”

“That I did,” Jiwoo teased.

Hyejoo snarled, not wanting to let go of her pre-transformation meal to talk back. She debated testing the theory that she could hurl someone down this entire tunnel with Yerim as a test subject.

Yerim’s brain has been on overdrive ever since they started training and it would be any second that she’d piece it together.

“I KNEW YOU LIKED CHAEWON!” Yerim hit Jiwoo in her excitement.

Jiwoo laughed at the teasing purple haired girl before pulling her along to give her daughter some time alone. It wouldn’t be long before they checked on her again.

Hyejoo made sure to bite into her steak harder so the blood sprayed onto Yerim’s apron on her way out.

\---

_“Is it ready for me yet Momma?”_

_Sooyoung swallowed a lump growing in her throat. Hyejoo was a little too excited about the contraption Vivi and her were building. She wanted to ask Vivi how she was able to leave for many hours a day. Security measures were buckling down kingdom to kingdom. But it seemed royals and their close associates were exempt._

_(Vivi, one of the few practitioners unafraid of werewolf victims, was on travelling medical duty. Many health and wolf scares were minor ailments solved by vapor rubs and ginger ales.)_

_Sooyoung and Vivi were working on their second cage together. Last time, they had more space. Jungeun’s tower bedroom was bigger than the entirety of the new Ha cottage. Not officially their cottage as they were squatters but landowners that had a soul - if any existed - weren’t demanding payment any time soon._

_Sooyoung wondered if they should construct the cage around the whole house instead, like how they melded the iron bars to the walls of Jungeun’s room. But Vivi said it was better for Sooyoung and Jiwoo to have a safe space in case Hyejoo couldn’t control herself._

_(Jiwoo broke into sobs each time they hinted at that possibility.)_

_They also had a very limited amount of silver to work with._

_Thanks to a former producer seller, all their resources were free. Jiwoo hadn’t committed a crime of this magnitude since Hyejoo’s birth but it’s nice to know her sticky fingers were still talented. _

_(Sooyoung had to pretend Jiwoo’s thieving side wasn't as attractive as before.)_

_Looking over at her wife, who was bouncing Hyejoo on her good leg, Sooyoung offered a soft smile before a pained expression replaced it, Vivi looking at her apologetically for catching her fingers in her iron bending._

_“Almost Hyejoo,” Jiwoo forced a smile. Not even Vivi and Sooyoung’s antics couldn’t hide the grim thought of caging their daughter. “Almost.”_

_The thought of trapping their daughter behind bars, like she was an animal, made Sooyoung and Jiwoo feel like they deserved the punishment instead._

\---

“Where has Jiwoo gone off to?”

Haseul shrugged and returned to her breakfast which Jiwoo had already whipped up waiting for them on the table. The handmaiden-promoted-chef said something about running errands and the last they saw her, she was toting a rather large load of laundry to the courtyard.

Jungeun didn’t take the gesture personally as Haseul had every reason to feel melancholic.

Haseul too had joined Jiwoo and Jungeun’s club of the “Waiting CastleWives” as their loved ones were out on duty. Jungeun would’ve made a toast if Haseul’s initiation into the club wasn’t because of dire circumstances.

“Jungeun?”

“Yes?” Jungeun tried not to pout at Haseul’s tone. It sounded empty. Hollow.

Something that should’ve been forbidden in Haseul’s range of vocals.

“Have you ever found something in someone’s possession that you knew shouldn’t be there?” Haseul dropped her spoon, splashing her porridge all over the table. “But you couldn’t quite confront them about it because well...a) you’re not really on speaking terms and b) it meant you went through their things..”

Jungeun would’ve gone into a tirade of the many questionable things she found in her daughter’s - who she was getting livid at every second she was missing - and her wife’s - who she missed every second she was gone - possession.

This was progress for Haseul. Even if it went against the code for a healthy relationship, maybe it’ll get Vivi to talk to her again, whatever it was she found in Vivi’s belongings.

“I have. And I’m sure there’s lots of things I still don’t know about Jinsol,” Jungeun sighed. “But we promised each other we would work it out.”

“I’m not...talking about Jinsol,” Haseul questioned. Wasn’t Jungeun following her?

Again, Jungeun would have laughed at Haseul’s confusion if her daughter and Haseul’s little sister weren’t missing.

And Haseul too, if what she found in Vivi’s bag didn’t have the possibility to ruin the dynamics of the entire castlehold.

\---

_“Chaewon, it’s your mother,” Jungeun knocked softly on her daughter’s doors._

_“And your other mother,” Jinsol muffled into the side of Jungeun’s nape._

_Giggling, Jungeun turned around and pushed her annoying wife away. “Stop that, I almost dropped her smoothie.”_

_Jinsol looked at their orange concoction in Jungeun’s hand with a raised brow. It didn’t look appetizing or even edible. But it was Chaewon’s newest craving. Luckily with Sooyoung’s kitchen organization system, they had a recipe waiting for them when they snuck into the kitchen before the sun rose._

_Jinsol’s idea of having an early family breakfast together in bed before her next mission was enough to make Junguen fall in love again._

_They could spend this time addressing more serious matters like what Chaewon really meant in the spa room, which was a whole month ago now, but why spoil a good family moment. They were performing great as is. _

_They were moving on as promised, stronger than ever._

_“You two are the same right now,” Jinsol commented. “Craving weird things. Her and carrot juice and you with your noodles and bacon.”_

_Taking a look at the trays on the floor, Jinsol’s toast and fruit looked like a bore next to Jungeun’s combo and Chaewon’s liquid diet. Where her daughter got the idea to drink her vegetables, Jinsol didn’t know._

_But she wanted to._

_Being a better mom required work but she was willing to do it. Her mind wandering was pleasantly interrupted by her wife’s melodic voice._

_“Chae?” Jungeun knocked louder._

_“Come on Chaewon, I have to ride out later today.”_

_Eleven knocks later, the Jung queens knew something wasn’t right._

\---

Hyunjin wanted to warn Vivi that the next full moon would be rising soon as they had been searching for hours now, her sharp ears picking up cattlers calling in their herds. But Vivi was far off ahead, taking this rescue mission to heart, almost reaching the kingdom’s western water border.

The knight wished a human whistle was invented to stop the physician, remembering the sound that stopped her body last night.

“Stop thinking so much, Hyunjin,” Vivi let the wind carry her voice to the knight. “This is why we haven’t found them yet.”

She wasn’t far from the truth.

Since Heejin’s d…...disappearance, Hyunjin had been stuck in her own head. Focusing on Hyejoo’s training, focusing on Sooyoung’s training, and reluctantly for her, focusing for Yerim’s training. Hyunjin wasn’t sure what was happening to her. Just this morning, she had to be reminded to bathe, which she was always so disciplined about before.

She was forgetting simple tasks to wallow in a feeling that weighed in the deepest parts of her chest.

Like a part of her was missing.

Maybe Vivi knew what was going on with her. Perform something short of a miracle - which to others looked like magic - to get Hyunjin back to her same old self.

“Also, you’re with me, I trust you won’t let anything happen while we’re out here,” Vivi snapped her out of her thoughts.

Hyunjin was grateful.

The next moon had yet to appear, giving Hyunjin the upper hand as she was able to catch up to Vivi under the maroon skies.

Vivi had stopped dead in her tracks. If they didn’t memorize the kingdom maps, they wouldn’t have known they reached the water border. The tides were lower than usual, so much so that they could’ve ridden further out. It made the only human-made contraption there completely visible to the naked eye.

Both of them didn’t need enhanced senses to tell that the barred end of the pipeline leading to the Jung castle was wide open and footsteps could be heard inside.

\---

_“Then the three of us can go on missions together. The knight, the queen, and the wolf whistler!”_

_Vivi couldn’t get Sooyoung’s suggestion from echoing inside her mind, driving her up the walls. She knew the new Head Knight meant well, wanting Haseul to have an adventure of her own. But the gnawing feeling in her chest of how the last resident that left to start a new chapter in life still was pronounced expir...exploring._

_Still exploring._

_Heejin always wanted to travel._

_While Vivi knew her parents were safely tucked away in their cozy home back in Untiers and her brothers were off doing who-knows-what, Vivi felt like she was losing other people she called family._

_For a daughter of a renowned alchemist and a doctor witch, she felt helpless._

_She followed the norms. Behaved how a healer should. How a good citizen should. But it still cost her her only daughter._

_Sooyoung was suggesting her only love leave too._

_It was times like these when Vivi felt normal. Like things were out of her control just like how they were for all humans. The day-to-day life at the castle, besides a few missteps, were safe. Some would say boring but in the case for her newfound family, it was better this way._

_The next morning, when Jungeun woke her up with news of Yeojin and Chaewon’s disappearance, it was too much loss for the castle physician in a short amount of time. Vivi knew she had hidden under her doctor’s certifications for too long when she possessed the power to do more._

_To make it so that the ones she loved were here to stay._

\---

Sooyoung and Jinsol weren’t banking on running into any people while they were out. People were usually locked away during the three days of the full moon. The recent Kim kingdom massacre being fresh in everyone’s memories.

Fencing a house wasn’t new but the way these two had their entire cottage encased in silver-dipped bars was overkill. A warrior-built woman with her long blonde hair tied in a ponytail rolled her eyes as her gruffy cottage-mate scurried around the cottage walls, making sure everything was secure.

“Did you check the…” The short-haired one jumped onto the awning.

“Yes.”

“What about the...” Now she was on the windowsill.

“Yes, dear.”

“And the…” Now she was hanging upside down from the roof.

Huffing, the taller of the two barely reached up, took the rabid woman in her arms and calmed her down. If it wasn’t for the affection, it would’ve reminded the two knights of an athletic duo in the castle with feline reflexes.

(Jinsol called it catlike. Sooyoung would say wolflike.)

“You know I’m only doing this for our safety. It’s not because I like you or something.”

“Oh your Majesty! And Knight Sooyoung back in action!” The brunette bowed, “We think we might have something that belongs to you!”

The four of them exchanged pleasantries while Jinsol saw there was still another wall to be barred. Looking at the purplish cotton candy skies, Jinsol shook off her worries of what the night would bring. They were in a fairly clear area with a high elevation than most.

Before she could volunteer their services, Sooyoung was already helping the duo, deep in conversation.

(The tall one glowered, adorably feisty when the knight got a little too close to her cottage-mate.)

“We hear howls mostly from the northeast but you can’t be too sure in either direction.”

“Of course.”

Jinsol peeked at how adept Sooyoung was at bending the bars with a measly rebar.

Trying to remember the list of jobs Sooyoung had, Sooyoung listing ironsmith came up blank. Surely, Sooyoung was one in another kingdom for her to be so fluid with her craftspersonship.

“Wow, you’re good.”

“Old habits die hard,” Sooyoung whistled at her handiwork before clenching her hand in pain.

She saw how Jinsol was observing her every move. Knowing she’d have to be on guard - literally and figuratively - she was reluctantly grateful that Chaewon and Yeojin’s disappearance kept Jinsol’s mind busy. 

Jinsol wasn’t a stingy queen that whined at manual labor. She would’ve volunteered too but a lot was on her mind. Not wanting to air out the queen’s business, Sooyoung pressed on when the last bar was in place.

“Say, did you happen to see two young ladies riding off? About yea high.”

Jinsol snorted as Sooyoung had her palm at her waist, under measuring the young girls’ heights.

(Sooyoung stifled a sigh of relief.)

The two cottage dwellers shook their heads sadly before the shorter one spoke up, “We almost forgot, just a moment!”

The brunette had left her tall blonde partner to get something from behind their home.

Jinsol nearly paled when a familiar horse was brought forward to meet them.

“This girl here must have escaped from your stables and made its way to our home.”

Sooyoung quickly recognized the Jung sealed leather that made up the horse's saddles. Glancing at her friend who seemed to be frozen she spoke up for her, “Oh thank you so much, we apologize for that.” 

The home owners assured them it was nothing, that they were planning to keep the animal safe in their home until the full moon ended and bring it to the castle in the morning.

“Did you see which direction it rode in from?” Jinsol finally spoke up.

The couple shook their heads apologetically. Sooyoung took the reins from the shorter woman and tied it to her own horse's saddle to follow them. Jinsol got back up onto her horse before waving a thanks to the citizens and wishing them a safe night. 

Sooyoung bowed a goodbye as she began to follow her friend's lead. The blonde queen once again had that all too predictable mask on her face. Sooyoung knew they needed a moment alone to talk about what they just found. 

\---

_“Chaewon, I hope you’re not up to something.”_

_Chaewon yelped and swiveled around, hoping her small body could cover up the scroll she’s been deciphering for days. Jinsol’s office curtains were barely open, Chaewon squinting with the light she could work with._

_Vivi raised an eyebrow at her. Both of them not commenting how the other looked ghastly thin. Vivi was mourning her child. Chaewon was in shambles of what direction her family was going in._

_“No,” Chaewon shot down with a gulp._

_Vivi didn’t question it, knowing that it was best for Chaewon to navigate whatever she was doing on her own. If she was coddled any further, she might do something drastic. Like Heejin running off with Seohyun’s cloak into the night._

_“Aunt Vivi, I have a question.”_

_“I’m sure you do,” Vivi couldn’t read what Chaewon was looking at but by the faded text and the browned material of the scroll used, it looked aged. _

_“What are the limits to your family’s powers?”_

_(Vivi would’ve faltered if she knew that the document Chaewon shouldn’t have been reading to answer her own question was now in Vivi’s own possession.)_

_“You’re not asking for another sibling, are you?” Vivi chuckled, hiding her fear._

_If it was someone who would figure out what she was up to, it would be one of the younger one’s. No offense to her peers but they were far more perceptive. Thinking it was going to be her to question Chaewon’s motives, the tables have turned on Vivi._

_“No, I can’t handle that right now,” Chaewon shook her head. “More importantly, I don’t think my parents could handle that.”_

_“Especially with their schedules right now.”_

_“Yeah,” Chaewon used her mannerisms class to appear unbothered but Vivi saw right through it._

_Chaewon knew that Vivi knew that she was wondering if Vivi could bring Jinsol home for good. She tested the waters at guessing another pregnancy. Vivi knew that Chaewon knew she was skirting around questioning why she was in Jinsol’s office alone. From the stories she told, Chaewon knew exactly what kind of a healer Vivi was._

_They were okay with leaving it at that._

\---

“This tunnel smells kind of weird.”

“Maybe it’s just you.”

The statement “everything that can go wrong will” could not hold any more truth than for what the two had been through.

Chaewon had banked on the council listening to her proposition posthaste that early morning due to the rising full moon to come that night, allowing Yeojin and her to ride back with plenty of time. By the rooster’s cry of morning, they had reached the council’s estate, only to be turned away before they could set foot on their grounds.

Chaewon didn’t accept the rejection much to Yeojin’s displeasure so the two rolled around in dirt on the side of the road, pretending to be statuettes adorning the council’s front lawn until they broke into the council’s dining room, the council members eating a bountiful lunch.

Yeojin was asked to step outside as Chaewon spent hours explaining her plan.

Thinking they’d be offered some of the Council’s private knights to guide them back home to keep the royal bloodline safe, they were startled when the council disagreed, wanting all of their knights to protect them only. They simply tossed Chaewon a new wolf whistle and sent them quickly on their way. A throng of escorts making their way to the second floor answered any questions they may have had of the rude send off. While the kingdom's citizens feared another massacre, the council spent each full moon in the safest and grandest of estates, satiating their selfish needs.

McQueen rode them to the kingdom’s borders faster with the daylight’s help but the castle would’ve figured out their disappearance by now.

The next step was to sneak in through the tunnel and lie that they were in the spa room the whole day. Yeojin sent McQueen on her way, hoping she’d find her way back to the castle. Waiting hours for low tide, the sun had just begun setting when the duo moved forward.

“I hope it was worth it,” Yeojin coughed on dirt in her throat from Chaewon’s on-the-fly disguise trick as she shook out her still blonde locks.

“I assure you, it was,” Chaewon shot back in the dark before a yawn escaped her.

Squinting, they could have sworn they would’ve run into the problem of having to unlatch the grates but they had yet to walk face first into metal.

(Yeojin was sure the “borrowed” ornaments she stuffed down the front of her coat would make a good airbag since Chaewon made her walk a few steps ahead.)

Whether this trip made the two closer or not, they’d sort it out after a long bath. Chaewon told Yeojin she could use her parents’ massive tub as payment for accompanying her. 

Yeojin was more worried that Yerim would hate her for putting her favorite horse - they all were her favorite really - at risk.

“I’m telling you again, this tunnel smells weird.”

“Again, just you,” Chaewon smiled, the darkness concealing her smug face.

“No, it smells like a wet dog.”

Chaewon knew she couldn’t effectively show her displeasure when she felt warm wetness and a terrifying snarl hit the back of her neck.

\---

_Knocks were much louder when done with gauntlets._

_Jinsol wondered if she could knock on Chaewon’s door again with her gloved hands and maybe Chaewon would be there._

_Not the amateur pillow-shaped human decoy that sent both Jungeun and her in a frenzy._

_Sooyoung tore the door open, annoyed that her cuddling session with Jiwoo was cut short. She had some choice words at the ready._

_Blinking away her sleep, Sooyoung saw that Jinsol wasn’t in her casual wear like Jungeun. A frazzled Jungeun was behind her, hair springing from different angles, clothes in disarray. Instead, Jinsol was suited up hours in advance. The new Head Knight knew time flew by when she was in her wife’s arms but it couldn’t possibly be time to ride out yet. _

_“What’s going on?” Jiwoo asked for her wife, holding her steady from behind._

_Jungeun thought she should do the same to Jinsol but wondered if she should hold herself together instead._

_Unlike Jinsol’s strong composure - but they all knew she was panicking inside - Sooyoung was shaking. The married couple had gotten past their transgressions about Sooyoung’s new job but this fear creeping in didn’t have to do with Sooyoung’s mission for the next few days. Jinsol and Jungeun were not supposed to look this grim._

_The Has were supposed to have a family breakfast in the spa room._

_Hyunjin was supposed to go over some wolf hunting tips with her one last time._

_Yerim was supposed to educate Sooyoung on proper horse grooming._

_Yeojin was supposed to announce their departure._

_“Chaewon and Yeojin are missing.”_

\---

Hyejoo loosened her jaw as the most excruciating pain faded from her body.

It was the same violent tremors she endured when her mother blew that damned whistle last night. But this pain was tenfold, shaking her to the core. Like it came from a thousand blows, amplified by the acoustics of the tunnel that was supposed to keep her safe.

Waiting for her sight to return, Hyejoo stalked slowly to the source. Focused on how she would contribute in the search for Chaewon while stuck inside, she didn’t notice she wasn’t human anymore. Every cycle had gotten easier and easier to change forms. Hyejoo knew her moms would be proud of her.

Maybe not so much that she was going towards the danger than away from it, only her animal instincts to protect her.

Her sense of smell was attune to the damp concrete that she was taken aback by the new scents coming at the other end of the tunnel.

Polished gold.

Ground up brick.

Bottled up balmings.

Leather suitcase.

Royal perfumes.

The wolf took off into a sprint as she recognized the last scent right away.

Two unconscious humans lay before her, Vivi checking their conditions thoroughly, while Hyunjin struggled holding down the perpetrator.

But it wasn’t a paid assassin or a rogue rebelling against the monarchy.

It was a wolf.

A wolf just like her.

\---

_Hopping onto the bars, Hyejoo shook them with vigor as it teetered in many directions, delighted with her new strength. _

_Her parents smiled through their apprehension as their shadows grew longer on the walls in their humble abode. The first full moon since the attack would be rising soon. Vivi settled on Hyejoo’s bed - now hers for the next couple days - as she waited with them._

_(She pretended not to be affected by the longing look Haseul threw her way this morning when she said she would be doing house visits far away and staying at a local inn for safety.)_

_“Mom?”_

_“Yes, sweetheart?” Two voices answered, bottling up Hyejoo’s sweet, scratchy voice in case it would be the last time they heard it._

_They had heard stories of newborns that self-harmed themselves in their new state, unable to control their newfound identity. Stories of young ones unable to stomach the pain of transforming that they died from exhaustion._

_But that’s all those were. Stories. They haven’t witnessed a wolf fully transform and while they knew they would dread it each time, they hoped this wouldn’t be Hyejoo’s last full moon._

_“Will I become a monster?” Hyejoo’s bottom lip quivered. _

_Hyejoo grew up with stories as well. Her lack of literacy classes made her hang onto every word told in pubs, shops, farmers’ markets, and knight gatherings her mother snuck her into. Stories about how wolves were the lowest of the social pyramid. How wolves had taken away the queens of her kingdom too soon. How wolves were the reason why so many families were broken._

_Most recently, she had lived out one of those stories. In the carriage, she woke up with the image of her mother kicking a wolf’s snout in. A wolf twisting her mother’s leg in an obscene angle. A wolf biting deep into her torso, holding her in place to make sure its saliva sank in._

_Soon, she would find out if she would be another character in one of those stories._

_And what side of the story she’d be on._

_“Mom, I don’t want to be a monster.”_

_Hyejoo’s legs gave out as she tried not to break down. Vivi had told her it was important to keep her emotions at bay during this time. She didn’t want to hurt her parents. She didn’t want to hurt anyone. If she was able to see Chaewon again, she didn’t want to hurt her either._

_Sooyoung ignored Vivi’s advice to keep the cage closed and rammed the key inside the lock, allowing Jiwoo and her to swoop their daughter into their arms until the sun fully set._

\---

Hyunjin had the upper hand, feeling the creature pinned by her knees start lolling away, but she wasn’t ready for it to change shape completely.

It looked to her that the snarling beast had attempted to attack Chaewon and Yeojin, as it’s claws swiped at them, just grazing Yeojin. Vivi and Hyunjin sprinted in right on time to save the both of them. Stomaching her own pain, Hyunjin blew Jinsol’s gifted wolf whistle as hard as she could, hoping Hyejoo was far away to not be too affected.

Throwing the shaken wolf off of Yeojin, who was quickly being patched up by Vivi, Hyunjin couldn’t be more grateful for her wolf genes. Only she could see what had attacked the runaways in the pitch black tunnel.

It was a wolf.

But not anymore.

Hyejoo had rarely been successful in her attempts at transforming back into her human form mid-cycle, the concentration and effort alone drained her so fast she would revert back in seconds.

But making it to the middle of the tunnel where the commotion was, she saw that this wolf did it effortlessly.

A fully-clothed human spat at Hyunjin’s face, breath reeking of years of raw food, its skinnier form giving Hyunjin nothing to grip. A familiar colored bandana almost fell off its head as it sprang forward, knocking Hyunjin back against the tunnel walls before leisurely transforming back to its lycan form.

(Which is why Chaewon and Yeojin weren’t awake to witness this moment. Hyunjin’s last-minute plan of not wanting them to find out Hyejoo’s hiding place was throwing them against the walls. Better an unconscious duo than a missing one.

But their lack of spatial awareness and night vision had the two running full force away from their attacker straight into a wall, knocking themselves out luckily saving Hyunjin the time.)

Hyejoo wanted to ask where they found Yeojin and Chaewon. Why they were in the tunnel. Why they were covered in dirt. Why Vivi kept digging out expensive valuables from under Yeojin’s clothes. Where this unwelcome guest came from.

Before the wolf could hurt Hyunjin again, Hyejoo pounced, a need to protect brushing away her million of questions.

She snarled back, hoping her beastly side would give her authority. Feeling her muscles relax, she realized she wasn’t exerting any effort to hold the wolf in place. She tightened her frame in case the wolf pulled the same stunt as it did with Hyunjin.

The wolf stayed still, looking up at Hyejoo in pure fascination. Studying her face, shape, whatever else it could perceive but locked in mainly on her golden eyes.

The rookie knight did the same. 

This wolf looked aged. It was much larger than her. Leaner. Musculur. Eyes sunken and telling stories Hyejoo wasn’t sure she wanted to hear. Hyejoo hid her surprise as it changed back into a human, her nails lodged in the concrete to make sure this wolf - human right now - wouldn’t injure anyone else.

(Vivi was already berating Hyunjin for her hastiness potentially harming Hyejoo.)

Taking a look at the unconscious Yeojin and Chaewon, Tao choked out a sob, his red eyes just as scared as Hyejoo’s was. 

\---

_Hyejoo didn’t care who was knocking at her door._

_Her only duty was to be a full-time castle guard this week. (Well, guard as much as she can in her animal state.)_

_“Hyejoo, it’s me,” a frantic voice whispered, knowing her daughter could hear through the thick wood._

_Hyejoo made out the sound of chainmail clinking and sprung out of bed. Her mother was supposed to leave in the afternoon which meant Hyejoo needed to be in the tunnel by now. Transforming in her bedroom would throw Hyunjin’s plan out of whack and Hyejoo owed her new partner for keeping her and her family here._

_Tearing the door open, Hyejoo saw a uniformed Sooyoung looking at her with an unreadable expression._

_Were they being exiled? Had they been compromised? Could she at least say goodbye to her newfound friends?_

_“I’m riding out early so I don’t have time to check on the,” Sooyoung leaned over to whisper the last part. “Tunnel.”_

_Hyejoo looked behind her to see that the sun wasn’t harshly shining in, it was barely rising. It couldn’t possibly have been noon yet. Yeojin usually had the honor of announcing Jinsol’s - and whoever her companion’s - departure. But she hadn’t heard a peep out of her yet._

_“What’s going on, Mom?” Hyejoo tried to hide the worry in her voice. Even if Sooyoung was the more emotional of her two parents, Hyejoo had never seen her eyes so wide with fear. Her mother’s heart was hammering out of her chest._

_Hyejoo had transformed kingdoms away from her parents and returned home in one piece. If her mother was that concerned that the tunnel wasn’t ready, then she didn’t raise her right. Her parents had taught her to be tough and vigilant. Hiding in the same house as the very government that wanted her existence to be eradicated was just another obstacle._

_Another chapter._

_Hyejoo couldn’t believe she was now doing the psychoanalyzing. She could hear her other mother pacing and muttering to herself in the hallway._

_Sooyoung didn’t want to break her daughter’s heart but transparency was important in their family. Before she could open her mouth, Hyejoo ruffled her hair._

_“You prepared me for this, Mom,” Hyejoo heard Jiwoo stop to gush at the display of affection between her two favorite girls. “I got this.”_

\---

Hyejoo didn’t know where to start.

She was torn between not carrying this out longer than necessary as Yeojin and Chaewon - now resting their heads in a stressed out Vivi’s lap - could wake up at any second. But it’s not like they knew the full-grown wolf in the tunnel - as the other wolf was back to its human form - was one of their beloved classmates. It’s not like Hyejoo could easily change back.

Unlike this creature here.

Who might have the answers she’s been searching for restlessly these past eight years.

“I honestly didn’t think you would survive,” the perpetrator wheezed, adjusting to his human voice. His large hands coming up to wipe at his tears.

Realizing Hyejoo couldn’t speak for herself - she wouldn’t let this thing wait until her normal self returned anyway - Hyunjin stepped in.

“There’s no time for cryptics right now. How do you know who they are?” Hyunjin kept Hyejoo’s sex concealed in case this advanced wolf was wrong.

(Wolves could tell the sexes of other wolves from pheromones they exhumed.)

“I really didn’t think you would survive,” he said again, breaking out into a broken laugh he’d been holding in for years.

Impatient and exhausted, Hyunjin drew her sword out and poised it at his jugular, careful for the silver to not touch Hyejoo. Seeing that the stranger wasn’t making a move, Hyejoo fell back against the other side of the tunnel.

Hyunjin softened at Hyejoo’s predicament. As much as she wanted this wolf - who was the most controlled she’d ever seen - to leave, there was a story to be heard. Forcing the tip in further, almost breaking his skin, Hyunjin placed a foot atop his chest.

Nodding over at her partner, Hyejoo situated herself between the assailant and the others whereas Hyunjin blocked the other end. If it escaped Hyunjin, at least it would be running back out into the wild.

Heartbeat racing and temperature scorching, Hyunjin knew this wasn’t a typical wolf.

From what she learned about Hyejoo, neither was she.

Unlike before, she would let this one talk. At least this one had the control to. She drove her sword in harder.

“Start talking.”

\---

_Patting her stomach, Hyejoo was spoiled with an enriching breakfast thanks to her mothers who prepared several meals late last night for her. She also got to drink what was supposed to be Chaewon’s smoothie._

_Haseul had filled her in on the missing duo when she was in the kitchen, not even noticing Hyejoo was supposed to be in bed ‘sick’. Seeing the sweet teacher looking so worried had her feeling bad for her. She wished she could be out looking for them too._

_Reconfiguring her schedule since her surprise awakening, Hyejoo thought she’d check out her new den before she was holed in there for days. Her parents would rather she roam free in the spa rather than the tunnel but Hyunjin worried that someone passing by the windows would make her out before she could hide. Or her stench would leak into the hallways and someone would investigate._

_“Probably Chaewon would notice first,” Hyejoo sighed, heavy-hearted that she couldn’t join in on the search. _

_Hyejoo could douse herself in perfumes but her heightened senses would make her inhale the fumes at a headaching rate._

_She sighed as she entered the room she didn’t get to enjoy at her current age. Apparently they had a spa frenzy when Hyunjin and her rode out to the Ims but the spa’s use was put on hiatus after the Kim kingdom’s attack._

_Wishing to experience it soon, Hyejoo halted as she heard someone scuffling in her safehaven._

_“Mom?”_

_Hearing eager footsteps toddle over, Jiwoo peaked out of the tunnel with an empty basket._

_“Hyejoo, you weren’t supposed to be here yet,” Jiwoo scolded. “I wanted to surprise you.”_

_Seeing Jiwoo’s hair splayed and her lantern burning low, she didn’t think her mom would be in the mood to get back on the operation to keep her hidden so soon after Sooyoung’s departure. But they were used to picking up right after life threw a fast one. Her parents were so much stronger than people believed. Maybe even stronger than the Jungs._

_(Don’t tell Chaewon she thought that.)_

_Hyejoo hoped her Aunt Jinsol would cool off, the queen’s anger following her out the castle gates. She swore she could have heard Jinsol muttering obscenities at whoever or whatever would claim her unarmed daughter._

_(Hyejoo would deny that she felt the same.)_

_“Surprise me?” Hyejoo peeked in, but Jiwoo must have gone extremely far to do whatever she planned. “Mom, please don’t tell me you decorated.”_

_“I wanted it to be homey for you!” Jiwoo leapt off the tunnel, knowing Hyejoo would catch her in time._

_(She did.)_

_After seeing Sooyoung and Hyejoo’s exchange in the hallway, Jiwoo was worried about this cycle, more so than Hyejoo’s first one. They didn’t think more would be at risk now but life was full of surprises._

_She raised Hyejoo to always be prepared. It was the same advice she whispered to Sooyoung before she rode off. It was the mantra she told herself growing up and earlier while she made Hyejoo’s new den comfortable._

_Years ago, they prepared for the worst with Hyejoo’s cage, not knowing what to expect. No one would be able to tell them what kind of wolf Hyejoo would be._

\---

Until now.

“You were supposed to be the princess,” the werewolf sneered in Chaewon’s direction.

Hyejoo growled.

The man-wolf spilled out his life story, ranting about his brotherhood’s manifesto.

Purebloods, as they called themselves, had dwindled in numbers throughout the years thanks to the actions of humans. A band of twelve bonded with nothing but shared instincts and a hatred for humankind, becoming a pack they called Exo. Years ago, they almost got their revenge by turning a runaway royal princess from the Kim kingdom. But the knights of her kingdom captured one of their own as restitution for harming her. For payback, they attacked on the next moon cycle, killing the queens swiftly and rescuing their member. But when they wanted another shot at the princess, silver infused iron bars surrounding her room kept them at bay. Almost all their minions - newborns they called them - died that night.

Humiliated, they reconvened back to their mountain territory.

A grand scheme of wreaking havoc on all kingdoms in Milieu hid their real agenda: infiltrate from the inside by turning one of the royals. What better way to ruin the princess - now queen - that disgraced them than to turn her own daughter? Three wolves were tasked with that duty, rejoicing that they saw a royal carriage leave the castle on a full moon about eight years ago. But only one lived to see if the plan fell through:

The wolf sitting comfortably between Hyunjin and Hyejoo.

Hearing no news of a royal mauling, their plan failed and he alone was banished from his pack not just for the plan going wrong but for not protecting his brothers. Leaving him scheming for years for the perfect moment to re-earn his place. But without the protection of his pack, the last eight years had been more than a hurdle for the once pampered wolf. He dared not make his own newborns in fear his pack would see it as a challenge and come after him for such insubordination. The increased knight patrols and hunts over the years had him always on the run, leaving him unable to hunt much. His last truly filling meal had been what felt like ages ago now.

However maybe his luck was to finally change. 

Overhearing his brethren planning an attack on the Kim kingdom, he watched from the distance until a royal cloak flew by.

(Hyejoo eyed Hyunjin warily as he spoke of this anecdote. She didn't notice Vivi clutching her medic bag tighter, gripping onto a particular item.)

Fending off the disoriented newborn wolves easily, the exile knew that if he captured a member of the Kim kingdom family and brought them to the pack, he would be welcomed home with open arms being branded a hero. But she looked nothing like the images in the royal portraits.

“So when you realized it wasn’t Princess Seohyun, what did you do with her?” Hyunjin asked calmly.

A little too calm for everyone’s taste.

The temperature in the tunnel dropped. Even Hyejoo had to shiver.

“It had been days since I had last eaten anything, I was so hungry but she didn’t back down at all. Got a good kick in too,” he pointed to his almost healed crooked nose. “I grabbed at her but then she started crying and I felt terrible.”

To everyone’s surprise - and in Hyunjin’s annoyance - Tao broke out in tears again, removing the bandana adorning his head. The expensive ruby shaded material was in near tatters yet parts of the Kim kingdom seal proved exactly where that article of clothing was salvaged from. If he was telling the truth, it would be from the same cloak Seohyun recalled Heejin ripping off from her before running into the woods.

If he was telling the truth, this could be all that was left of Heejin.

“So where is she?” The wolf descendant commanded, not caring that her loudness could wake up Yeojin and Chaewon. 

Hyunjin wouldn’t ask the question if Heejin was alive or not. If she said the words aloud, it meant acceptance.

Vivi observed how the usually composed knight was clenching her jaw. If she wasn’t careful, her sword would dig too far into Tao’s skin and she would never get her answer.

“I don’t know.”

Hyunjin’s eyes darkened.

Hyejoo mused in a soft grumble of a whimper that he was bluffing.

“I SAID I DON’T KNOW! I just sent her on her way.”

“You said that already,” Hyunjin scrunched up her face as to why he repeated himself.

“I know. She called me a liar.” Tao huffed back at the people behind him but Vivi shook her head, having not said a word.

Hyejoo’s eyes widened at the fact that this wolf understood her in this form. It felt like an invasion of privacy, used to being misunderstood every few days a month.

There was a lot to learn.

But it didn’t look like Hyunjin was thirsting for knowledge. Hyejoo’s identity was compromised and she needed him gone. But not before she got her answers.

“So you don’t know where she is?” Hyunjin’s gaze lowered, her upper lip curling down.

“I can honestly say I have no idea.”

Hyejoo almost felt sorry for him, knowing he was going to regret that answer but Hyunjin moved faster than she’d ever seen. The heartbroken wolf descendant charged forward at the man.

\---

_Jiwoo hummed to herself as she looked for other items to make Hyejoo’s den more homelike._

_So far she had a clock, a candelabra, a pot, and a chipped cup._

_They weren’t practical, especially with how big Hyejoo’s hands would get once the sun set, but it was the thought that counts. She had already raided the linen closet and padded a huge chunk of the tunnel for Hyejoo’s makeshift bed._

_She knew her young one would be missing her two favorite blankets but she’d have to ride out and retrieve them another day. Hopefully Sooyoung would not lead Jinsol to Hyejoo’s original area because if she found Chaewon’s old blanket, she might think it was recently made and that Chaewon was captured by wolves._

_Seeing that she was on the third floor, Jiwoo felt guilty for not checking in on her friend. Jiwoo had heard stories from Vivi and Haseul - who still weren’t talking to each other - of what Jungeun would become when Jinsol would ride off but so far, her best friend had been amicable._

_Besides a few nausea spells and mood swings, Jungeun was still her same old self._

_“It’s in your head. They’re all safe. They’ll be back before you know it.”_

_It was similar to the advice Jiwoo whispered to Sooyoung but there shouldn’t be anyone on this floor except the woman who lived here. Peering in, she saw Jungeun grip onto the dresser table and stare at the mirror before her. Stretching her neck to see further in, Jiwoo saw that Jungeun was alone._

_“Jinsol will be safe. And for the first I’m saying this, Chaewon will be safe out there as well.”_

_Jungeun was consoling herself._

_“You’ve made it through a full moon cycle before, so many now.”_

_Jiwoo also heard stories from less reputable sources about Jungeun’s condition. A queen shouldn’t have fears or worries. A queen shouldn’t have to calm herself down with talk sessions and medicines. But what differentiated Jungeun talking to herself over Jiwoo pep talking to her wife and child earlier today._

_Whether by sword, by pen, by prescription, by reflection, or by a well-accessorized hiding area, they were all building cages to protect themselves._

_Jinsol and Jungeun were making strides in their relationship but she wondered if Jinsol knew about this. How open was their relationship. They looked so happy in love when their wives rode out but it wasn’t unknown that queens put on a good act._

_As much as they wanted to believe it, a relationship can’t change overnight._

_Not wanting to take Jungeun’s progress away, Jiwoo waited until Jungeun finalized her speech before knocking softly at the door._

\---

Groping for something in the dark Vivi made a hasty decision, she could not have Hyunjin murder the one being that could possibly explain Heejin’s whereabouts. Finding the whistle in Chaewon’s pocket she blew hard into the wooden pipe.

Tao clung to his head.

Hyejoo doubled over.

Hyunjin flew backwards.

But that was mostly because Yerim had sprung forward - Jiwoo far behind, hindered by her human speed - seeing the same resentment in Hyunjin’s eyes that she saw in Jinsol’s during that fateful fencing bout.

“Don’t kill them,” Yerim warned, pinning her own sister down.

Yerim and Jiwoo wanted to check in on Hyejoo - again - but she was nowhere in sight. Light wasn’t streaming in from the top hatch either. But Yerim did pick up an interesting conversation happening at the far end of the tunnel. Jiwoo told her she’d catch up as Yerim exercised her wolf descendant speed in full glory.

“Ugh, Yerim, get off of me. He could’ve gotten away.”

That was unlikely as Tao was still reeling from the high pitched ringing that shook him to the core.

(Hyejoo was no better. Tao could hear many explicatives growled by the young wolf.)

But he was still alert to witness a tiny human leap over his head and tackle his captor. They both bounced back as if they didn’t just skid onto hardened concrete.

But Tao knew he wasn’t in a place to ask questions.

Turning towards the guest - Yerim picked up the word ‘pureblood’ as she hurried down the tunnel - she greeted him with a kind smile. Now Hyejoo was getting her origin story and she hoped things were making sense. While Yerim didn’t support violence, she could understand why the wolves would take such drastic measures.

To be defined only by their monstrous traits never gave them a chance to prove themselves.

Looking at Hyejoo - who was looking green in the face - she could’ve easily become a murderous beast. But she learned to control herself and was now an admirable knight and friend.

Hyunjin rubbed the back of her head in disbelief, feeling an abrasion forming from Yerim sliding her meters across rough concrete to get her to heel. It would be gone in hours anyway.

As much as the seneschal wanted to learn more about their history, the stories her mother watered down for them was nothing compared to what she just heard. But the imminent high tide would sweep them all away.

He was also not giving any specifics about the one character in his story she cared most about.

“Yerim?” Hyunjin croaked.

“Yes?” Yerim smiled.

“Did you know that this wolf is the reason why Yeojin is currently bleeding out?”

Hyejoo hoped Vivi would be courteous enough to keep the whistle away from her lips as Yerim surged forward at the man next.

\---

_“You don’t think I’m strange, do you?” Jungeun was ashamed at Jiwoo witnessing one of her self-therapy sessions._

_It was something she had been exercising to relieve Vivi of some of her duties on taking care of her._

_(‘This is literally my job Jungeun,’ Vivi would retort.)_

_But for Jungeun, hearing consoling words in her own voice was soothing. Oftentimes, it was her own voice that said the most negative things about her. She needed to tip the scales somehow and figured positive reinforcement would cancel them out._

_Even if she was faking it._

_“Why would I think that?” Jiwoo pouted._

_Jungeun must’ve forgotten that Jiwoo grew up the poorest of them all. She had seen the most obscene of behaviors growing up, witnessing traumas that doctors could only attempt to understand from textbooks and scrolls._

_(No offense to Vivi.)_

_But even with a crown on her head - which was metaphorical as Jungeun was in her sleeping gown - Jungeun shouldn’t be ashamed to be lumped into the category of people who were seen as “lowly.” People had their own stories that affected them in different ways, some digesting it better than others. Jiwoo knew that if she was still a produce seller, she’d maybe do unspeakable things to make ends meet. She’d have to figure out ways to deal with the aftermath._

_Maybe alcohol._

_Maybe relaxants._

_Maybe telling herself in the mirror that she would be alright._

_“I don’t know.. B-Because a queen shouldn’t behave like this? I don’t know...” Jungeun flopped on the bed, Jiwoo following after._

_To Jiwoo, It was like that evening Sooyoung and her first locked up Hyejoo and they had to remind her over and over again, for three days straight, that she wasn’t a monster._

_To Jungeun, it was like that evening before they sent the first wave of volunteers to the Kims, pretending not to hear her citizens speak lowly of her._

_“You’re a queen yes,” Jiwoo recited, words too familiar and hoping they’d have the same effect on her friend as it did with her daughter. She had walked in on a giddy Hyejoo doing loop-de-loops in a pitch black tunnel. “But you’re still a human being. You are a person, you don’t have to be perfect, no one is.”_

_(“No species is,” Jiwoo finished in her head.)_

_Jungeun giggled. It was a strange way to word things and it wasn’t something she’d repeat to herself in the mirror, but she appreciated Jiwoo’s efforts._

_“Where’d you learn how to be a good advice giver?”_

_“I’ve always been a good advice giver. My advice got you your family, didn’t it?”_

_Jiwoo swallowed her joking words, hoping not to trigger anything. Like how she navigated a new familial relationship with Hyejoo when she changed, she can do the same with Jungeun._

_“Sorry--”_

_“No, it’s okay really. Sometimes I need a reality check before I drift too far.”_

_“Jungie, being anxious isn’t forbidden.”_

_“It is for me.”_

_Tucking a stray hair behind Jungeun’s ear, Jiwoo swallowed a lump in her throat and watched Jungeun’s eyes close. Her best friend was more tired days these days but the stress was too much, even for a supernatural being to handle. She hoped Jungeun would fall into a peaceful dream._

_Where nothing was forbidden and her loved ones were home safe._

\---

The tunnel line up was Yerim, Hyunjin, Tao, Hyejoo, Vivi/Chaewon/Yeojin, with Jiwoo fast approaching in the distance.

Prying her little sister off of Tao’s neck - impressed with how red Yerim made it in a matter of milliseconds - Hyunjin rushed the interrogation. Tao had choked out that after losing any mindless newborns he found himself in Jung territory. He had hoped to turn in another royal in place of his failure years ago - he didn’t understand why this family had a knack of fleeing during full moons - to try to appease his pack.

But the two runaways being covered in dirt led him to select the wrong royal.

(Again.)

Yerim’s best friend at that. It was the angriest they’ve ever seen the young handmaiden.

(Maybe Yeojin shouldn’t have gone with the famous Jung blonde hair dye after all.)

“You need to calm down,” Hyunjin growled. Any human would have crumbled at the grip she had on Yerim’s shoulders but the young handmaiden was buffing up quite nicely.

“ME? I am the calmest of the calm!” Yerim shouted at the top of lungs, boring holes into Tao with her eyes. “You were going to maul him for what he almost did to Heejin.”

At the mention of the former head chef, their spat dwindled down to just listening to each other’s heartbeats.

Yerim took the lull to take her sister into her arms, murmuring sweet nothings to her. Hyunjin slumped against her younger sister, knowing she could support her full weight. Their embrace was a month overdue.

Behind them, a series of grunts, growls and whimpers were exchanged as Hyejoo soaked in more about her species’ histories. No human written scroll or lecture would replace firsthand experience at being a wolf. Hungry for knowledge - and another steak - Hyejoo fired question after question. This might be the only time she would be able to speak to him.

They definitely wouldn’t be inviting him for dinner any time soon.

“How do I do what you did so I’m not naked when I change back?” Hyejoo pawed at Tao’s outfit which fit him snugly between the different transformations he’s had between them.

Tao let his guard down and chuckled lightly.

Which to human ears sounded menacing.

“You have to design clothes with your fur in it,” Tao revealed before shifting back quickly to show how the hemming and cuffs of his clothing almost melted into his matching wolf coat. “Spin the tufts of fur into yarn and thread like you would wool and go from there. Though I admit, I’m not sure if it works for hybrids.”

Hyejoo swallowed at what he called her but didn’t want to ask for further elaboration. Her parents had tried to help her differentiate herself from the other werewolves so she wouldn’t feel terrified of herself.

Hybrid. It sounded better. Less scary. Plants could be hybrids. 

The word made her sound like she was normal.

(Tao could sense her worries but kept mum until she was ready.)

While the two duos conversed in their own ways, Vivi waited, wondering why every time she adjusted Yeojin’s position, jingling noises rang out under her clothes.

\---

_One disadvantage of living in the woods was Hyejoo couldn’t run to the market when her parents were being affectionate. Even now, cubing a vast amount of steaks for her first moon cycle had turned into Sooyoung holding Jiwoo from behind to help her dice while singing “Unchained Melody.”_

_Loudly._

_She breathed in fresh air and groaned as she still heard her parents. Her senses have sharpened since the attack and she’d have to walk kilometers out just to drown out Sooyoung’s singing and Jiwoo’s giggling._

_Wondering if this would be her last time out here as a human, Hyejoo took a mental portrait of her new home:_

_The area Sooyoung cleared to work out. The small tree fort that remained unfinished until they found - until Jiwoo stole - more building materials. The empty clothesline swaying in the winter breeze. The iron-laced trip wires they set up for protection._

_The only thing out of place was Vivi on a rocking chair, sifting through her medic bag. The leather case looked heftier than when she first arrived a few weeks ago. Probably filled with tools to help calm Hyejoo in case she got out of control._

_Silver darts._

_Silver knives._

_Even a silver amulet she could wear around her neck._

_All things the well-trained castle physician learned from Grey’s Academy._

_And her Healer parents._

_“Hey Aunt Vivi?”_

_“Hmmmm?” Vivi was ready for any and every question. Even in the castle, it’s been a barrage of emotionally heavy inquiries from Jungeun’s night terrors returning, the kids - especially Chaewon - wanting to know everything about wolves, Jinsol feeling like she could do more. Hyunjin was going to be knighted soon and she wasn’t even an adult._

_“Do you know anything about forbidden magic?”_

_Vivi stopped rummaging._

_“Why do you ask, Hyejoo?”_

_“It’s just,” Hyejoo puffed her cheeks out. “I don’t know. Like I don’t know what kind of wolf I’ll be. Like if I could hurt my parents. Really really badly. I just...don’t know what to do if that--”_

_Before Hyejoo knew it, Vivi had her arms wrapped around her, holding her steady. She didn’t even know she was crying. Not even a wolf and she was already losing control of her emotions._

_Vivi knew what Hyejoo was hinting at. She felt nauseated at the thought of Hyejoo thinking she could kill. Especially her own parents who had sacrificed everything to restart their lives._

_Her powers may have assisted in protecting bringing life to Chaewon but to bring back a life - in Hyejoo’s prediction, two lives - bordered on a much more mysterious force. Forbidden magic, her people labelled it. She had come across instances when delving into that would be ideal but luckily, something pulled her back. The first time she ever considered performing an act of forbidden magic was when Jungeun was suspected to be a wolf._

_Just like the cage they had constructed in Hyejoo’s case, Vivi would figure she’d find herself in the same situation._

_“I won’t let that happen. I promise,” Vivi whispered._

_Hoping her promise would be strong enough to keep Hyejoo, Jiwoo, and Sooyoung alive._

_And in her case, resilient enough to never open the ancient book her parents left her._

\---

Haseul didn’t have mother’s intuition.

Now she wasn’t sure if she even had sisters’ intuition.

She had made choices and avoided breakthroughs so that Yeojin and her could be safe. She promised her parents. She promised Vivi.

So why didn’t she feel terrible that Yeojin was out gallivanting with Chaewon?

(Minus the fact that a full moon was tonight.)

Before they rode off, watching Sooyoung hit Jinsol upside the head and Jinsol do the same - while Jiwoo and Jungeun playfully nudged shoulders - Haseul was in awe at how they took what could have been a tragedy and found tender moments between them.

(She’d bet a horse that Jinsol was grumbling all her worries that she refused to say in front of Jungeun.)

Everyone in this household took matters into their own hands. Hyunjin became a knight. Jinsol became a knight. Young Hyejoo became a knight. Yeojin almost became a knight. Even Sooyoung became a knight. Again.

Last year, Heejin left the castle to travel abroad.

They found a reason to leave and executed it.

They made a name for themselves.

Haseul even overheard Jungeun talking to herself in the bathroom this morning, calming herself down.

Vivi had just volunteered to accompany Hyunjin to roam their lands to find Chaewon and Yeojin.

Haseul was cursed. There were no exceptions for that. The word itself brought a shiver up people’s spines.

She remembered years ago, Jinsol and Haseul joked about Haseul being the ultimate weapon. Using her weather jinx to benefit the human side of the war.

But that’s all that was.

A plan.

Like Sooyoung suggested how the three of them would ride off together as a triple threat. Like Yeojin suggested they become a musical duo like their parents. Like Vivi suggested they’d watch Heejin grow up to be an exceptional woman.

Hopes that forever remained on the backburner.

She remembered Vivi told her to expect the unexpected and Haseul gripped at her stomach as she remembered the out-of-place, ancient item in Vivi’s bag when she handed it to her this morning.

Haseul hoped things were changing.

She didn’t think Vivi would be one of them. 

\---

_“Poor Hyejoo. So sick. So fragile,” Yerim clutched at her chest to sell the lie they created to excuse Hyejoo’s absence for the next few days._

_(“Quit it. You make it sound like I’m dead,” Hyejoo murmured from the kitchen, knowing two people in the dining room could pick it up.)_

_Hyunjin smiled behind her glass as she downed her third Americano._

_“Sometimes I can still hear her voice,” Yerim sucked in her lips to keep the (fake) tears in._

_Jungeun, Haseul, Vivi, and Jiwoo watched the performance in adoration - Jiwoo trying not to burst into laughter - thankful that not all the younger castle residents joined Chaewon and Yeojin in their excursion._

_One missing horse from the stable confirmed that their departure was voluntary. The young girls left by choice._

_It was like deja vu of Jungeun’s runaway when she was engaged to Jinsol._

_But they hoped it would end in the same way._

_With the princess back home, safe and sound._

_“I should be heading out now,” Hyunjin announced, piling the empty plates on top of hers to take to the kitchen._

_Vivi silently stood and did the same at her end of the table. “I’m coming with you.”_

_Yerim couldn’t direct another theatrical performance to get rid of the awkwardness filling the dining room._

_Jiwoo returned to her coffee. She knew Vivi would be fine with Hyunjin as her guide._

_Jungeun knew she couldn’t stop another family member from leaving. If her daughter and favorite squire were hurt, it was best they were attended to as soon as possible._

_And Haseul?_

_She exited the room, the scene reminiscent of Vivi leaving at last night’s proposition of Haseul leaving the castle with Jinsol and Sooyoung._

\---

Jiwoo was a brisk walker.

As the voices at the other end of the tunnel became distinguishable - Hyunjin and Yerim calming each other down, Hyejoo’s grunts and whimpers, another wolf’s reactionary animal sounds - Jiwoo felt her heartbeat slow down as she stopped to listen in.

It was a strange conversation to have with a nine-year-old. Explaining why you had to kill was one thing. Explaining why you had to kill someone that was the same species as your daughter was another.

Jiwoo remembered holding onto Sooyoung’s hand as they fumbled through their distinctions between the bad wolf the ex-knight killed and the wolf Hyejoo could become. Now hearing one of those wolves from the “bad” category not harming anyone - it was Hyunjin and Yerim that were more unhinged - maybe Jiwoo and Sooyoung should have that conversation again.

Jiwoo smiled solemnly at her daughter as she communicated fluently with someone of her kind. She had come to learn what happy sounds Hyejoo emitted when she was a wolf. All Hyejoo wanted to do was make sure her family would be safe. To protect her parents from what other people made her out to be.

A happy howl rang out.

(Followed by Vivi shushing her.)

And after years of relocating and difficult decisions, Jiwoo was glad Hyejoo found her peace.

\---

_Over the years, Vivi had updated her doctor’s kit to fit health trends in the medical field. _

_Overconsumption_

_Substance abuse_

_Scrumpox_

_Bubonic plague_

_Mad cow_

_Broken bones_

_Even if it was never added to the official lexicon - mental health._

_Rushing to her room to fetch her medical kit, she didn’t expect it to come hurtling down the hallway in the arms of someone she hasn’t had a deep conversation with since last year._

_Their eyes meeting, neither of them said a word._

_Vivi was too entranced to feel the heaviness in her hands, thinking it was representing the heaviness in her heart._

_(She still needed to research the proper cure for that.)_

_Like clockwork, like what they’ve built throughout the years, Haseul wordlessly handed Vivi exactly what she needed. It was natural for them to share responsibilities from chores to teaching units that this was just habitual._

_“Thank you.”_

_“No, thank you.”_

_Vivi angled her head to the side at Haseul’s response._

_“Sorry,” Haseul grimaced._

_The word was heavier than just her verbal flub seconds ago. Normally a young castle resident barging in on their moment right now would happen. Except two of them were missing. One was sick. One in the kitchen. And one was...gone._

_“No, I should be sorry.”_

_They didn’t notice Jiwoo flying by with an alarming number of sheets and duvets._

_“No, it’s okay.”_

_They had to stop relying on outside circumstances. Had to stop thinking that what they had before was enough. Coworkers. Co-teachers. Friends._

_“Okay.”_

_Wives._

_There was no guarantee that they could turn the next page unless they made the effort. Too comfortable in the routine they set, Vivi and Haseul were at a standstill._

_Haseul wondered if that’s why she found an ancient book of forbidden magic in Vivi’s bag. Things were too complacent for her. Would it be her fault if Vivi turned into something she was warned not to?_

_“Come on, Aunt Vivi!” Hyunjin called out, not wanting to get closer to whatever standoff was happening in the corridor._

_“Please stay safe.”_

_Vivi wasn’t sure she heard it right. Haseul usually worried about the younger ones first. Vivi did too. (Plus all the other residents and the entire population of the Jung kingdom.) That was their jobs as caretakers and as family._

_Haseul meant more than Vivi’s trip outside. She wanted the castle physician to stay as she was._

_“Oh,” Haseul slapped her forehead as if forgetting something. Vivi held in a smile. “And make sure to bring those rascals back too.”_

_Vivi felt her heart skip a beat. It had been over a month since she felt it. It was a welcome change._

_Maybe change was good._

\---

“Now that we got that sorted,” Hyunjin side-eyed a seething Yerim behind her. “What makes Hyejoo different?”

The wolf in question’s ears perked up at the mention of her name. Hyejoo could have “spoken” for herself through her wolf speech with the wizened wolf - which they were doing while the sisters bonded - but she thanked Hyunjin with a nod.

Hyunjin and Yerim could’ve grilled him more about hurting Heejin and Yeojin but knew Hyejoo had been waiting years for an explanation. 

“What do you mean?”

“When I killed,” Hyunjin ignored Yerim’s whimper behind her. “A wolf a month ago, it called out to a leader. Like it was in a trance. Hyejoo doesn’t have one.” Gesturing to the wolf behind her, Hyejoo gave a shy paw wave in acknowledgement. “Why is that?”

Tao looked back at the curious healthily grown wolf. Her instincts were sharp and she looked completely well-rested and well fed. Whoever her caretakers were had given her enough peace of mind to grow up without too many stresses in life.

(What would have been jealousy was replaced with genuine happiness for the girl.)

“When us pureblood leaders..” Tao didn’t miss the irritated eye rolls at his choice of words. “Turn another human into a wolf, we claim a part of their autonomy. Well, more like all of it.. You see, newborns don’t have a free will. They must do what we command them to do. They are bound to us indubitably.”

Feeling like his time was nearly up, Tao rose to his feet. He didn’t miss the way the three watching him were eyeing his every move.

“Only when one of us dies, does that bond finally break.”

No one was there to witness the full scene of Hyejoo’s turning. Even for Sooyoung who got an unfortunate nosebleed seat view, she couldn’t make out which wolf was who. Only that there were three of them.

“We call those who now live life without a leader, a hybrid.”

In Hyunjin’s perspective, there was only one remaining and she tore it limb from limb in the blinding rage at seeing her parents dying.

For Hyejoo, all she remembered were beady eyes, sharp teeth, and gruesome images of her family being disfigured and tossed around.

“Sooyoung killed Hyejoo’s leader.”

They all turned to the source of the voice, someone taking a spot next to Vivi to cradle one of the incapacitated girls.

Placing her lantern down, Jiwoo smiled proudly at her daughter. She caught the tail end of this question-and-answer and knew what they were referring to. Unlike Sooyoung who was fighting the effects of a concussion that evening, Jiwoo would never forget.

Three wolves were present that night. She kicked one in the snout, remembering the wolf weakly crawling to the edge of the road to die in vain. The second was slain by her darling wife. But it was that same wolf that took away her daughter’s humanity.

Or part of it.

It was still Hyejoo in that wolf’s body.

(Just like it was still Jungeun in there. Now snoring away in the castle.) 

“Sweetheart, it was your mother that killed your leader.” Jiwoo looked at the stranger, the third one had gotten away.

\---

_“We can have Hyunjin and Hyejoo patrol our kingdom’s perimeter,” Jinsol addressed as she walked down the castle steps. Jungeun should be safe with four others to keep her company. _

_They weren’t exactly trained in strength and aim but Jiwoo and Vivi could take on a few wolves from what Jinsol knew about them. Maybe Yerim too. Jinsol wouldn’t comment on it yet but Yerim did look like she was gaining muscle strength this past winter._

_Sooyoung and her horse waited for them with Yerim cooing at them. She fed the animals extra carrots as they woken up earlier than needed and needed their strength to keep up with their extra mission._

_Supporting her observation, Yerim was lifting that vegetable bucket too easily._

_“We could but Hyejoo feels a little ill,” Sooyoung avoided Jinsol’s eyes._

_Sooyoung was victim to Jinsol’s forbidden rage a few months ago and while she was out riding with her best friend, she didn’t want to get on her bad side. Things were already not starting well as she lied through her teeth about her daughter’s health._

_“Like how I’m sick when you’re gone for too long, my love” Jiwoo sang out from behind them, sensing Sooyoung’s uneasiness._

_(But it’s not like she didn’t want to utter that cheesy line this morning when Sooyoung and her were swaddled in each other’s arms. She was compensating for it now.)_

_Jinsol grimacing rather than raising her expressive eyebrows was the reaction the Has wanted._

_(Jungeun gagging behind Jiwoo was a bonus.)_

_“That was gross. We’re going now Sooyoung.”_

_Sooyoung laughed off the comment, thanking Jiwoo with a wink. Even with Hyejoo in her “ill” state, maybe a knight present in the castle as well would ease Jinsol’s distress. Behind their exchange was a small understanding to ensure to keep themselves safe._

_Even if it meant another kill on Sooyoung’s belt._

_Giving her wife one last kiss, Sooyoung bounded down the steps, sure Jinsol was right behind her. Even with the circumstances, a knight’s first mission in years was exciting. It was a shame their favorite unofficial castle announcer wasn’t announcing her re-debut._

_But Jinsol was the opposite of the monster Sooyoung was expecting. For a mother who found out her child and another resident was missing, Jinsol was rather calm._

_“Hold me in your heart while I’m gone,” Jinsol murmured against Jungeun’s smiling - but quivering - lips, kissing them softly._

_It was Sooyoung and Jiwoo’s turn to gag._

_Yerim was long gone, shaking her head at the lovesick adults and laughing at Hyejoo’s - who could hear them from the open kitchen window - gagging. Sooyoung summarized both their thoughts nicely before she mounted her horse._

_“I’M THE GROSS ONE?!”_

_Jinsol playfully laughed and swatted Sooyoung lightly with Sooyoung doing the same. Sooyoung wasn’t sure what kind of Jinsol to expect as they embarked but she was ready to protect the kingdom._

_And her family._

\---

She had self-control as strong as a pureblood.

A hybrid she was called.

It was her mother to thank for that.

“Told you you weren’t a monster,” Yerim beamed warmly from behind Hyunjin.

It didn’t strengthen the ideology that “all wolves are bad” just because Hyejoo was an exception but it helped develop a deeper understanding for each other. Contrarians could claim victory today.

“Thank you,” Hyejoo barked. “For all of this.”

“I wish there was more I could do honestly.. But I hope I helped a little,” Tao said back to her, letting the others fill in what Hyejoo just told him.

Hyejoo grunted in understanding.

(“I’ll tell you later,” Vivi whispered to a confused Jiwoo.)

Tao’s time was up. He wasn’t expecting a welcome with open arms but he’d leave in one piece. From the weariness, this family had been through a lot. Like how this young newborn was one of the good wolves, these people must have been one of the good people.

“I guess I should go. If I am allowed to. It’s not safe for any of us if I am here.”

All the responsive castle residents nodded except one.

Unlike the newborns that Jinsol and Sooyoung were hunting, these purebloods had a choice. Both sides of this war were losing greatly to boost their own moral high ground. While humans were in the wrong for causing this, both sides have suffered immense casualties.

“You don’t have to be a monster either,” Yerim advised. “Or make more of them.”

Tao couldn’t stop himself from dawning an appreciative expression at the sentiment.

Yerim tapped on her sister’s shoulder so they could make way for the reformed wolf. There was no telling where he’d run off to but maybe it would lead them closer to the end of this war. 

\---

_Letting down her hair, Vivi brushed out the kinks and tangles from a long day of consoling Jungeun that she was alright._

_Even with the many activities within the busy Kim kingdom castle walls, her number one priority was the Kim royal family’s health._

_Queens Yubin and Hyelim were fine besides their sore feet from pacing the floor. They worried about Jungeun’s future, now that the entire kingdom was doubting her leadership skills. Running away wasn’t considered queenly behavior._

_Even with Jungeun safely tucked away in her tower - Sooyoung, Jiwoo, Sunmi, and Luna and her just finished fortifying the princess’ room with iron bars to quell a wolf transformation, Taemin and Onew volunteering to stand guard with the remaining knights - Vivi was still worried._

_(“Doctor Vivi, what happens if I do become a beast? Will there be a way to bring me back if I can’t take it?”)_

_Jungeun feared that she might self-sacrifice amidst her transformation, scaring the castlehold, but it was the second question that stumped Vivi._

_If a witch wanted to delve into sorcery, the price to pull it off was greater than most could even imagine. They purposefully never taught it in school, witch descendants knowing only of it from stories. Vivi recalled meeting an infamous ugly warlock with a black cap, who had made himself the ringleader of a traveling troupe, he tried to rope her into performing one of those devilish acts with bribes and promises of grandeur. But thankfully Vivi wasn’t desperate and she loved her job._

_She knew she had it in her to aid in the birth of whoever Jungeun’s heir would be. Assisting Royals to remain alive during childbirth was what had her first come to this new land with her mother to begin with. That was within the list of appropriate magic._

_Bringing someone back from the dead though?_

_The very thought was taboo._

_Yet it was possible.._

_Possible but extremely dangerous._

_It would require another life of equal value. _

_A life for a life._

_Hence, why it was forbidden._

_And even then the few recorded results were troubling._

_Vivi closed her eyes tight, hoping the wolf’s saliva hadn’t turned teenage Jungeun, for fear that she would have to become a monster as well just to bring her back._

\---

Yerim carried Yeojin back with ease. If people weren’t lost in their own thoughts, they would’ve been impressed at her stamina and strength.

Jiwoo carried Chaewon, knowing Hyejoo might feel jealous if Hyunjin volunteered. Each time Chaewon nestled herself further into her embrace, Jiwoo smirked at the unsubtle growl Hyejoo emitted as she walked alongside them.

“Wait, wait, wait, you kicked a wolf in the nose? I usually don’t encourage violence but you are so cool!” Yerim filled the silence.

Jiwoo smugly grinned. If they weren’t pressed for time, she’d take up time to gloat in front of the intruder wolf but it had to be officially morning by now. Even if he was on their side, his presence nearby could cost Hyejoo her place in the castle. It was her maternal instinct for Hyejoo to rest and to get the two limp bodies they were carrying get cleaned up.

Trudging alongside Vivi after ensuring that Tao sealed the tunnel correctly from outside, Vivi and Hyunjin were several paces away from the others. 

Vivi was ready to soak in a hot bath when she felt Hyunjin stop beside her.

“This is about Heejin isn’t it?” Vivi whispered, hoping Yerim and Hyejoo didn’t pick her voice up.

(They were too focused on their comatose buddies to calibrate their senses.)

Hyunjin should’ve felt happy for Hyejoo. There was firsthand evidence that she wouldn’t be a monster. It was an actuality that there were others out there that didn’t share her fortunate fate but at least they didn’t have to worry about her acting out within the castle walls.

Perhaps next cycle she could roam around the spa room or the woods beside the castle.

But Hyunjin couldn’t shake off the confession that the intruder could have been the last to see Heejin alive. Heejin’s struggle to live had moved him so much that he let her go, using Seohyun’s cloak to throw off the other purebloods.

“I just don’t want to believe that she’s out there,” Hyunjin exhaled. “Because if I believe it and she’s not…she’s not...out there-”

How Jungeun was able to go through these therapy sessions with Vivi amazed Hyunjin. Pouring out one’s soul was strenuous and she only got one coherent sentence out.

“Well those two,” Vivi pointed at the group ahead of them. “Were out there and they were just fine.”

Hyunjin knew not to retort about how they were only out for a few hours but she appreciated the sentiment.

“You don’t think she’s...gone?” Hyunjin swallowed the last word.

If Hyejoo had to wait eight years to get answers, maybe she could too.

Vivi shook her head. The stories told were with bias and resentment but there was hope laced in. She picked up on it and hoped Hyunjin could do the same. She wouldn’t tell the seneschal that she was looking for more than her missing students. If she found Heejin in any state, Vivi was ready to flip through the family heirloom for the first time.

(Third time’s a charm. Teenage Jungeun and young Hyejoo being her first two trial periods.)

The unknown was something Vivi was used to navigating but this was something outside her realm.

Something she planned on harnessing to restore peace in their family like that wolf did tonight.

Wolves weren’t all evil.

Witches weren’t either.

“Mother’s intuition.”

Maybe Vivi needed to look into a mirror and say that over and over so she could believe it.

\---

_“You’ll still be our Hyejoo,” Jiwoo smiled through her tears as she pushed back Hyejoo’s hair._

_She wondered if Hyejoo’s hair would just be as soft once she became...whatever she would become. Sooyoung pouting over her shoulder as she held her family meant she thought the same._

_“But what if I become a monster? Like the one mom killed?”_

_“You won’t.”_

_They were repeating it as if it was true but Hyejoo might not be the same once this was over._

_Vivi had silver laced instruments at the ready if worse came to it and Sooyoung knew that it would have to be her to lodge it into Hyejoo’s tiny body. Jiwoo was barely holding it together and the moon hasn’t risen yet._

_(Vivi knew it would actually be her that would have to bear the brunt of it as Sooyoung was just as sentimental as her wife.)_

_“And if you did become a monster? We’ll try to find our loving Hyejoo in there and bring her back out again.”_

_Jiwoo sobbed against both of them._

_All three of them looked up as a shadow loomed over them. The sun couldn’t have left yet. Sooyoung used to say time flew by in the arms of someone she loved but she wished that wasn’t true._

_Vivi smiled down at them from outside the cage, it not being large enough to fit another body, and pointed at the window. Speckles of orange dotted the sky and were disappearing fast._

_It was time._

_Giving Hyejoo one last squeeze, Sooyoung and Jiwoo left the cage._

_“Hey moms?” Hyejoo called out, hoping her toothy grin would hide her dread._

_“Yes sweetheart?”_

_“What is it, kiddo?”_

_Reaching for each other’s hands, Sooyoung and Jiwoo pretended it was their precious daughter’s hand they were holding. They could see the hair on Hyejoo’s body begin standing on its ends, her body slowly expanding._

_“If I don’t end up being the same Hyejoo, maybe I’ll just make another name for myself.”_

_Nodding in agreement, they waited to see what Hyejoo would become._

\---

Hyejoo turned in circles before settling into her sea of mismatched blankets and duvets. She picked up Yerim giggling at her but was too exhausted to snap back.

Not like she could right now. Yerim and her weren’t able to have the same communication like she did with the lone wolf visitor tonight. Not yet at least, Yerim was determined to learn wolf to be able to help her friend. 

Hyejoo let out a huge yawn, not bothering with goodbyes as she knew her mother would be in the tunnel first thing in the morning.

Was it already morning? Was it already noon? 

Hearing Hyunjin and Vivi pass by, she grunted at Vivi’s goodbye. Hearing a small rush of wind, she opened one eye and was startled at the fist Hyunjin had out waiting for her.

“I hope you got the answers you need,” Hyunjin coughed out sincerely.

Lifting her heavy paw up to the fist as high as she could, Hyejoo paw bumped Hyunjin and closed her eyes again.

Hearing another rush of wind and rabid stomps, the hybrid - the word felt forbidden to her but it was more freeing than the other words others used to describe her kind - opened her eyes again to a smiling Yerim.

Hyunjin stood behind her, holding a knocked out Yeojin at arms’ length, since Yerim practically tossed her to her in order to tell Hyejoo:

“GOOD NIGHT!” Yerim yelled.

Vivi leaned on Jiwoo, holding in a groan from being on the tunnel ground for hours. It had to be morning. Only Yerim was the only one bouncing with energy.

Hyejoo accepted the hug - the incredibly tight hug as Yerim was muscling up - and hoped it would be her last wake-up call.

“I’m so proud of you sweetheart,” Jiwoo uttered out quickly, knowing full well that Hyejoo wanted them out of her den.

(Hyunjin grumbled as Jiwoo passed Chaewon to her after Yeojin took a limp Yeojin back.)

It has been a long day for all of them. Chaewon and Yeojin were starting to stir and they needed to get them on a bed and away from the wolf.

Hyejoo accepted her mother’s embrace, which felt even tighter than Yerim’s, and laid back down. She went right to la la land with a head pat from her mother. Not because of the exhaustion from the overload of information she was given tonight or the mix of emotions she went through with Chaewon’s disappearance.

But it was the calming effect of her mother being proud of her - her hybrid controlled self that she’s always doubted was there - that lulled her to sleep.

\---

_“Pssst! Aunt Vivi.”_

_Vivi peered through the barred windows to see that Hyejoo was awake._

_She certainly wasn’t like any wolf she’d ever heard of. Of the wolves that survived their transformations, Hyejoo regained energy fast._

_(Sooyoung realized she needed to work on her hunting skills at the rate Hyejoo was eating.)_

_ “What is it, little one?” Vivi amused._

_She didn’t need to say it - Jiwoo and Sooyoung blubbering at Hyejoo’s quick-and-easy change back to a human was enough - but she was proud of Hyejoo. There was something special about the young girl, which was given due to her unnatural conception, but Hyejoo continued to surprise them._

_And she wasn’t even a teenager yet._

_“I just want to say thank you. For everything.. You know, all of this,” Hyejoo circled her arms to their fortified cottage. “And for my mom’s leg too. She’s healing too.”_

_Vivi almost didn’t want to leave with how sweet Hyejoo was. She was growing up so well._

_“Because if I tore into it with my wolf teeth, she would’ve never healed in time.”_

_But she still had her innocence._

_Vivi hoped soon Hyejoo would accept this side of her. Whether it be from a new book or a witness or a wolf that rebuked all the terrible accounts - Vivi had money that Hyejoo would be the first - Hyejoo would learn she wasn’t culpable of whatever gruesome perceptions she had._

_“Good thing you didn’t need to use that other magic to bring me back.”_

_Vivi nodded again._

_She was saved from delving into that side of her powers a second time in her lifetime._

\---

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to worry Jungeun if I started ranting at home.”

Sooyoung nodded along as she chewed at her steak and onions skewer - ingredients they bought from a wayward peddler while returning home. According to Jinsol, she preferred Sooyoung’s cooking so far, even from one night of tasting.

(Hyunjin either forgot or chose not to season their food when she was on cooking duty.)

They took a moment to rest after riding for so long, setting up a small campfire.

The sun was beginning to set and luckily they didn’t come across any wolves.

They weren’t sure if they were relieved or more anxious at that.

But coming across the horse the missing girls had taken without them on it had clearly shaken the blonde.

“Permission to speak freely…” Sooyoung said on instinct but retracted as Jinsol glared her way. When it was just them, there was no hierarchy or rankings. “Sorry. It’s a habit. I thought Jungeun and you were going to be more honest with each other.”

If it wasn’t her friend asking this, Jinsol would’ve scoffed.

“WE ARE HONEST!”

“Being silent and brushing it under the rug doesn’t count.”

Sooyoung remembered how miserable the weeks were when Jiwoo and her pretended that her new Head Knight position wasn’t eating them alive.

While the loving behavior between the queens was a sight to behold, under the surface was still things that needed to be discussed. Sooyoung wouldn’t admit it yet until she was sure but she was positive Chaewon running away was the consequence of too many secrets and royal pressure building up within their family.

Not shy of Jinsol’s affection, Sooyoung let the queen rest her head on her shoulder.

At least Jinsol’s physical displays of affection haven’t changed.

“We talk about things like her…” Jinsol swallowed. “Attacks and my behavior. But it’s scary to hear about someone you love falling apart and you can’t see it with your eyes but you know it’s happening. We’ve tried everything, you know: medicine, meditation, therapy.”

Sooyoung was in awe. There was no shame in any of the things Jinsol mentioned. But for upper classes, these were marks of undesirable traits.

“You know that same thing happened with us and Hyejoo a while ago,” the Head Knight crafted, pausing before speaking again. She took another bite of food to buy her time. “She’s always been different. It was hard to face the truth but you came to accept it.”

“Is that why Hyejoo didn’t really go to school?” Jinsol furrowed her eyebrows.

“Yeah, those schools weren’t for her but Vivi’s and Haseul’s Academy is. Whenever that will start up again.”

Neither of them knew why but they felt like pouring out their canteens for their “broken up” friends.

“How do you do that with your family?”

“Hmmmm?”

“Talk about difficult things.”

Sooyoung puffed out her cheeks as she thought about how to word her response. She didn’t want to contradict her advice about being honest by lying more. Hyunjin must have the collectedness of a rock.

Thankfully, Jinsol was still in a talkative mood.

“It’s just sometimes, I want to grab my whole family in my arms and have a good cry. Just a reminder that we’re normal,” Feeling herself doze off, Jinsol was thankful Sooyoung was there for support, emotional and physical. “That we’re not what all the stories say. That we don’t have to rely on ancient text to dictate our fate. Do you ever get that feeling?”

Sooyoung saved her response for another day as Jinsol fell asleep against her shoulder.

\---

_Chaewon had never felt more naked than she did now._

_She knew her suggestion wouldn’t be taken seriously but she was hoping for a change of heart. The laws had been this way for centuries, only amending it to fit same gender pairings a couple generations ago._

_Finally, someone cleared their throat._

_“You do realize what you’re insinuating Jung?”_

_Chaewon didn’t bother to learn their names and memorize their faces. It was best so they wouldn’t show up in her nightmares. Clutching the scroll that helped her make this decision - the one she found miraculously in her parents’ office - Chaewon nodded._

_“There is no other alternative. This is how you become a queen.”_

_Another nod._

_Chaewon had figured out who those signatures belonged to after matching one of them to Jinsol’s only uncreased book in her collection. It didn’t explain why Jinsol didn’t talk to that author or her wife anymore but it did explain their absence in future royal endeavors._

_Jinsol and Jungeun would attempt the same rebellion, Chaewon was sure of it. She knew they were planning on eradicating arranged marriages._

_But that could have been what cost her grandmothers their throne._

_Chaewon couldn’t lose her own parents yet. Not after everything they’ve been through._

_“I saw what you did after the Great Attack. Your knight auction idea. It was a welcome distraction and it boosted the economy,” Chaewon praised with a strained smile._

_(‘And gave Hyunjin the worst week-long girlfriend ever,’ the rogue princess added in her head.)_

_She knew her life would never be normal. She wouldn’t fall in love like her parents. Or Hyejoo’s parents. Or her favorite cook and seneschal._

_“I know this won’t make things normal again. My idea is another distraction. But that’s what we need. More hope for the people, sorry, I meant the commoners.”_

_Nights of wondering where her mother was, nights consoling her mother’s panic episodes, nights of praying to whatever greater power that this would come to an end, Chaewon figured out what she had to do to make this cycle stop. She couldn’t do anything with her current status as princess._

_Not while her parents have the throne._

_“I just want my parents to be safe at home with each other.”_

_Chaewon held her breath as they talked over each other to come to a consensus. After they reached a decision, they excused her._

_Chaewon caught the whistle they threw her way, twirling the lanyard around her ring finger._

_‘A souvenir,’ as they put it._

_She remembered to bow and exit the way she came in. In the foyer, she smiled as Yeojin tried stuffing an expensive vase down the front of her shirt. At least both of them would be getting something out of this. Hopefully a welcome change. Hopefully a change of equal value to the tumultuous changes they were feeling now._

_Yeojin and future riches._

_Chaewon and a future wedding._

_A crown for a crown._

\---

The salty breeze of the ocean hadn’t smelled so freeing until now. 

For the safety of those kids he had run for many hours along the shoreline to the southern seaside, far enough from the tunnel.

The brief encounter with those humans had taught him a lot. Ever since meeting Heejin and getting to know her, he realized that not all humans were terrible.

Just like not all wolves.

They were fighting where their ancestors’ left off and suffering greatly on both sides. Witnessing the sympathy the Jung castle residents felt as he confessed about Hyejoo’s origins and what he could of Heejin’s whereabouts, Tao knew that these people shouldn’t suffer anymore.

And surprisingly, they thought the same for him.

They were all cogs in this war machine, fighting fire with fire.

He feared that it wouldn’t end until the other side’s population was completely depleted. Like Hyejoo he believed her name was, he wanted to be free.

Taking another whiff, he froze as he smelled something else.

But this scent constricted his throat. He was no one’s newborn but with his ranking in the pack, he might as well call this man his leader.

“So a little birdie told me you let a human get away. Another royal at that.” 

The cotton-like voice filled out the morning sky, taking away its peace. For decades, this melodic voice that had everyone under its trance barked orders at him. To turn, to pillage, to take, to kill.

Murmurs from eight others - eight he used to call his brothers - erupted as they decided Tao’s fate. There was no point in correcting him that the human he let go of wasn’t of royal blood but had stolen a royal cloak to divert him from the real goal.

In his last thoughts, he hoped the girl that outsmarted him managed to find peace too.

“Please! You don’t have to do this Suho. We don’t have to be monsters!”

Their pack leader laughed at his pathetic plea, the others joining along. It seemed like the sky darkened, even with the new sun rising.

“We are just what they made us to be.”

The pack leader turned back to his wolf form, his brothers following suit. Tao didn’t have time to change back when he was surrounded on all sides. Ignoring Tao’s pleas, Suho’s laughter grew more maniacal as they ripped him apart, limb from limb.

  


**NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: ???**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q (ourtuneisohigh): While I am sorry for the late update, there is a lot of work to be done and I hope that no matter what space you're occupying, you're doing the best to address the current pandemic and the Black Lives Matter movement. Starting by having those uncomfortable conversations, I hope all our non-Black readers are doing what they can. I've listed a few threads and carrds with petitions and resources you can donate/sign/read, including Orbits for Black Lives which is to help Loona gain and raise awareness of the BLM movement. Most of the resources are US-centric but you can look up zip codes for petitions and some funds have international payment methods.
> 
> In terms of FMB, I hope for a next full moon update (the plot points are listed out for that chapter) but I won't guarantee it. [Twitter](https://twitter.com/0TlSH)
> 
> N (LazyNinja): Hey all, it's been quite a while since the last update. We really hope you are holding up okay and taking care of yourselves. Q & I have had a lot of things to deal with but are glad to give you all an update. We have provided some links to BLM related support, every voice matters and we hope you are using yours to support those who are often silenced. Do what you can to help but also take care of your own mental health as well. Please treat others as you would like to be treated and remember to drink some water. Happy pride as well. You are not alone.  
We have also decided on an official hashtag so readers can talk about the story with each other, please use: #FMBkingdom  
[Twitter](https://twitter.com/_LazyNinja_) | [CC](https://curiouscat.me/_LazyNinja_)  
  
[Petitions](http://twitter.com/_courttnneeyy/status/1271125322080022528) | [Petitions II](http://twitter.com/icedguava/status/1270864290103218177) | [Black Trans Resources](http://twitter.com/Fumi_chun/status/1270078363210625032) | [Trans Rights' Funds](http://trans--rights.carrd.co/) | [ Community Bail Funds](http://www.communityjusticeexchange.org/nbfn-directory) | [BLM Carrd](http://blacklivesmatteresources.carrd.co/) | [Orbits for Black Lives](http://twitter.com/OrbitsForBLM)


	18. Where You At

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Format as follows:**
> 
> _Italics: Past_  
  
Straight (but really gay): Present  
****  


White light.

Bright, white light.

Yeojin thought she entered the afterlife tunnel the wrong way as the whiteness was funneling up instead of away from her. Ready to shout for a redo at death, all that came out was a dry croak. She couldn’t scream as something was restricting her voice as well.

A definite redo was in order.

Yeojin would also like to review her last moments as the last thing she remembered was Chaewon commanding her to run and a sharp, burning sensation across her back before darkness took over.

Even in death, she could feel five scratches across her backside, the first slice at the back of her neck, the second, third, and forth equally spaced downwards, and the fifth one right above her last spinal rod thing. (She didn’t pay much attention in Vivi’s anatomy classes to know the actual term.) Trying to scratch at the deepest searing itch, the one on her neck, she frowned as her hand thumped against a hollowed surface.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” a calm but stern voice sang out.

“I-i-is this the Good Place or the Bad Place?” Yeojin gulped.

“Neither,” the same voice laughed.

Someone else huffed in exasperation.

“So the Medium Place?”

“She’s clearly not sedated enough,” the exasperated voice said.

“Yeojin, you’re not dead!” the stern voice replied.

“Aunt Vivi? Haseul?”

Haseul, who hasn’t left her sister’s side since Vivi announced that Hyunjin and her had found their runaway castle residents, shook her head. She imagined their reunion to be bittersweet but she couldn’t see eye-to-eye with her sister due to the colossal white cone Vivi fixed on Yeojin’s head.

(Also, Yeojin calling Vivi - who was only a few months older than Haseul - her aunt still rubbed Haseul the wrong way. But when Yeojin called her “sister-in-law” after the physician and musician married, Haseul wasn’t sure she liked that moniker as well.)

“That cone is to prevent you from scratching at your bandages which you kept doing as you regained consciousness after...whatever happened to you.” Vivi returned to her charting, knowing Haseul was eyeing her warily.

Yesterday morning, Vivi and Hyunjin said they found Yeojin and Chaewon in the tunnel leading to the retired Jung spa. Hyunjin effectively scared off a beast that tried to kidnap Yeojin. They didn’t offer much detail as Chaewon and Yeojin collapsed from exhaustion from whatever journey they had outside the castle walls.

“Do you remember anything that happened before you blacked out, Yeojin?”

Despite the cone, Haseul could see Yeojin tensing up. Haseul didn’t want her sister to feel pressured to admit her foolish - but maybe justifiable - decision to leave the castle the eve of a full moon. When she was ready, she’d listen.

(Haseul and Vivi hoped Jinsol and Jungeun were adhering to the same parenting tactics with Chaewon, who was recovering in her own bedroom.)

“We don’t have to talk about what Chaewon and you did before,” Haseul gently took Yeojin’s hands in hers, waiting for as long as it took.

“I don’t remember much…”

(Vivi gave a small victory to herself.)

Haseul nodded sadly but patted Yeojin’s hands, telling her that she understood.

“Doctor Vivi says you and Chaewon were walking in the pool tunnel and you two didn’t see that you were being followed by a creature. Did you see anything odd? Sense anything? Animals aren’t usually smart enough to keep stealthy.”

The cone shook left to right.

The Bang siblings wanted to guess it was a wolf but they didn’t want to think Yeojin would be that close to the brink of death.

(Even if Yeojin banked that she would end up in The Good Place.)

Haseul waited to see if any other memory returned but surprisingly Yeojin wasn’t in a talkative mood. Just when she thought she knew her kid sister, she did something out of the ordinary. Whatever happened must’ve drained her sister’s usual bright energy. Humming their mother’s favorite songs, Haseul watched the cone lull side to side as Yeojin fell into a much deserved rest. 

Keeping her eyes trained on her sister, she pretended not to notice Vivi rummaging through her medic bag, hiding her desepration that an item that wasn’t there - and should’ve never been there - had gone missing.

\---

_“Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!”_

_“Bloody Mary! Bloody Mary! Bloody Mary!”_

_“Toyboat! Toyboat! Toyboat!”_

_“How did you say that three times fast?” Chaewon questioned Heejin in awe._

_The three youngest remaining castle residents - Hyunjin and Yerim were visiting their parents’ graves for their death anniversary for the day - stared at the small dead animal before them. With most of the staff on furlough (i.e. fired) and relocated (i.e. displaced) after the Great Wolf Attack, Yeojin was now the youngest castle resident._

_(As if they didn’t already baby her enough.)_

_Creating a slingshot with measly items they borrowed (i.e. stole) from the castle, the three were practicing their aim at small trinkets in the castle garden as the sun started to set. _

_(Trinkets that would be melted down and sold to boost the security budget anyway.)_

_But Yeojin may need to get her vision checked again as she hit something that made an ungodly screech as it fell off one of the garden’s water fountains, staining the water red. Yeojin might need to get her heart rate checked as well as she was sure she killed an animal that was dear to Yerim._

_Every animal was dear to the girl but this was one of the last and only living remembrance of Yerim and Hyunjin’s mother. After slaughtering their parents’ horses for food, Yerim only had this precious life left. Barely three years into its life, Yeojin shot it dead._

_Terrified of the consequences of her actions - not that Yerim could kill her, she could barely hurt a fly (her big sister Hyunjin on the other hand) - Yeojin thought the next best move was a resurrection. But lacking in surgery skills - new teacher Vivi refused to teach such a thing - forbidden magic was the next step._

_Hearing campfire tales of mystical lands behind the illegal magic, the three girls spouted nonsense, using buzzwords they’d heard from around the kingdom._

_“None of these are working.”_

_“Okay. Who do we know that comes from a magical family?” Yeojin pondered._

_“Not me. I’m pretty normal,” Heejin sighed._

_“Besides my royal blood, overwhelming wealth and beauty, me too,” Chaewon said._

_“And I think my sister and I are normal,” Yeojin answered her own question, an itchy feeling that she could be wrong creeping into her skull._

_“You’re really not,” the queen-to-be teased._

_“ANYWAYS!” Yeojin stretched her arms to slap a hand on both of their mouths to shut them up but Chaewon and Heejin effectively dodged her. Which they wished the bat bleeding out in front of them did too. “Yerim and Hyunjin have got to be normal too. Except maybe Hyunjin.”_

_Heejin pretended not to be affected by the insult. Hyunjin was just closed off and kept to herself._

_But as Yeojin ran through the list of remaining castle residents, they remembered someone nearby possessed the skills to resurrect the bat._

_Before the newly appointed castle cook could object to ransacking Aunt Vivi’s room - which was her room as well - Chaewon and Yeojin were already off towards the first floor sleeping quarters._

\---

The blonde knight did a full one-eighty as she marched up and down the third floor corridor. Eyes focused and posture erect, she wasn’t going to let anything get in and out of her daughter’s bedroom as she recovered.

“Shouldn’t you be more concerned about creatures trying to get our daughter through her bedroom windows?” Jungeun prodded.

The knight faltered as Jungeun stood at the end of the hallway, arms crossed, eyebrow raised.

“No, because we got rid of all the trellises and all except one balcony years ago. Plus, I have the castle walls smoothed and spackled for any footholds every year,” Jinsol recited, letting her guard down.

But not enough as Jungeun glided over to her pacing wife, trying to get her full attention.

The last two days had been a nightmare for both of them. She wasn’t even sure if Jinsol had slept a wink since coming home. She wasn’t sure if she did either. Cutting her mission short as soon as the knight duo found their missing castle horse, Jinsol was unfortunately stuck in knight-mode. 

Vivi had just finished cleaning the grime off of a sleeping Chaewon when Jinsol bursted through the castle doors.

(With Sooyoung stumbling in shortly after, huffing and doubling over in exhaustion.)

“I know you’re mad,” Jungeun started.

“AND YOU’RE NOT?!” Jinsol interrupted.

Jungeun waited for her wife to cool off. “The most important thing is that Chaewon’s home safe.”

“What was she even doing out there, Jungeun?” What happened to make her think she could go out there? AND ON A FULL MOON AT THAT?!”

Jungeun tried to mask her wince as Jinsol raised her voice. It wasn’t directed at her but she felt its fury. It was rightfully placed and she appreciated Jinsol not allowing it to bury itself in her body.

Blinking away her frustration, Jinsol saw through it. A stranger wouldn’t have but in their years of friendship, courtship, and marriage, it was obvious. Like all of the signs she pretended didn’t exist there. That Jungeun didn’t want to be there. That Vivi spent years researching and making it palatable. Sooyoung told her on their short journey that honesty was the best policy.

Jinsol promised to be better. They both did.

When Chaewon was gone, was Jungeun as scared as she was? How did she express it? Who was there to hold her through it? Not her.

“Jungeun,” Jinsol reached out slowly to hold her wife’s trembling hands. “You’re shaking.”

“Hopefully not another bad trait I passed down to Chaewon. Like us both running away,” Jungeun scoffed but closed her mouth abruptly. This wasn’t Haseul or Jiwoo or Vivi or Sooyoung she was self-deprecating in front of.

This was Jinsol.

Who was shaking her head in disbelief at what was coming out of Jungeun’s mouth.

Last year - it had been that long - Jinsol broke down and Jungeun held her through it, willingly silencing her own problems to show progress.

Now it was Jungeun’s turn.

“Jinsol.”

A gulp.

“Jinsol, sweetheart, look at me.”

When Jinsol did, Jungeun fought the urge to run away. Like they both did all these years. Physically for Jinsol and emotionally for Jungeun. 

“It’s time we talked.”

\---

_“The price of these books are ludicrous. Can’t we find an alum and buy off of them?” Onew slammed his head onto their wobbly wooden table, almost toppling over all their dishware._

_Consisting of: Three plates. Three bowls. Three spoons. Three mugs._

_Luna and Onew were hurrying their discussion about Jiwoo’s education. She could be home from running their market stall at any minute. The key to raising Jiwoo was to expect she would pop in when you least expect it._

_At the age of seven, Jiwoo had become an impressionable salesperson. And while it was endearing, she shouldn’t have had to work at such a young age.She had barely finished elementary when the kingdom famine made Jiwoo choose - her parents begged her not to - to follow her family tradition as a fruit farmer. Scraping all they had from the summer plows, Jiwoo’s parents were a couple hundred shillings short of one full year of school._

_If she skipped another year, Jiwoo would almost be the same age as the teachers._

_They dared not touch Sera’s Academy in the Kim castle as they’d have to sell their entire cottage for one semester there. It would be nice for Jiwoo to get to know the princess but rumor has it, her private lessons were singled out to keep her safe._

_“I’M HOME!”_

_Onew managed to sweep the little money they had into his lap as their bright-eyed girl stomped in, pockets jingling with today’s sales._

_“And what did you bring us for dinner dear?”_

_Luna scowled in her husband’s direction, hoping he’d figure out a better smalltalk segue than their basic needs._

_“Did you have fun today?” Luna corrected._

_“Of course,” Jiwoo strained, trying not to groan at the numbing pain on her back._

_Pain a teenager shouldn’t have._

_“I learned something interesting today,” Jiwoo sang. “It’s the talk of the town.”_

_Luna and Onew swallowed at the word “learned.” It wasn’t formal education but anything Jiwoo picked up was good for her. Each tidbit she learned off the streets would get her closer to a job that she could hopefully choose for herself._

_“Princess Jungeun is marrying the Jung kingdom heir! Isn’t that exciting?”_

_Maybe they could sell their dining table. Nothing wrong with eating on the floor or in bed._

_“I wonder if it’ll be a big wedding…”_

_As Jiwoo rambled on and on about the royal wedding, they wondered when their little one would be able to talk about her own future with as much enthusiasm._

\---

“I know what you’re doing and no.”

Sooyoung sulked as she plopped onto a bar stool. Jiwoo was busying herself with breakfast. A full breakfast as (almost) everyone was home safe and sound as of yesterday. (Hyejoo had one more day in the tunnel.) Yeojin was in and out of consciousness and the third floor had been quiet since Jinsol and Sooyoung rode in.

Which could mean Chaewon was still asleep.

Or the Jungs were committing to their parenting tactics of silent-treatment-but-pretend-everything’s-alright.

“But I want to help,” Sooyoung pouted.

Jiwoo almost gave in but turned her head sharply towards the oven. “No, you should be resting. You just came back from a mission.”

“I WAS BARELY OUT FOR A DAY!”

“SHHHHH! The kids are sleeping.”

Sooyoung knew Jiwoo meant their child Hyejoo - Yerim and Hyunjin were training in the stables - who lazed around more than her human form during the cycle. She’d be back, voraciously eating at the table by dawn tomorrow.

(A meal Sooyoung would be helping her wife prepare, she put her word on it.)

“You know, being a chef was my job?”

(And it will be her job again when Hyunjin’s ready to take her place.)

Being whiny when bored was unquestionably a trait Sooyoung passed down to Hyejoo.

“I know. But now it’s my job. A job we all share in this castlehold,” Jiwoo huffed. “But more importantly, it’s also my choice to cook today’s meal.”

Sooyoung tilted her head, sensing that she struck a nerve. Waiting until Jiwoo walked her way after emptying the wooden pail of danishes onto the serving plate, Sooyoung reached out to her.

“Jiwoo, did I offend you? Because I am sorry.”

(Take notes, Jungeun and Jinsol.)

Jiwoo softened at her wife’s pleading eyes, looping her arms around her neck as Sooyoung did the same around her waist.

“The past few days have been a lot. Now knowing that Hyejoo can choose to be a good wolf, something we already knew about her...it just reminds me of my past.”

Sooyoung nodded. Jiwoo and her were cut from the same cloth and pursued futures that weren’t in the cards for them. It calmed them that Hyejoo, who thought she’d be trapped in a ravenous wolf state for eternity, would have the same choice.

“I am sorry for bringing that up for you.”

Jiwoo shook her head and kissed Sooyoung’s worries away.

“Okay, you work here and I’ll deliver Hyejoo’s morning meal,” Sooyoung kissed Jiwoo’s pout before it could form. Having Hyejoo transform at home made them want to see her more often. “Let’s hope this time it’ll be better and she won’t growl at me to get out.”

“She doesn’t do that with me,” Jiwoo giggled against her wife’s lips.

“Tell me about it.”

\---

_“Are they back, Yerim?”_

_Jinsol and Sooyoung - well Sooyoung pretended, knowing Yerim’s capabilities - were surprised Yerim heard them come in. If she was in the castle, an ordinary human shouldn’t have heard them ride up. Tied to Sooyoung’s horse, McQueen neighed as Yerim welcomed them all - humans and horses - with open arms._

_“Yes, Hyunjin and Aunt Vivi found them unconscious in the pool tunnel.”_

_The two knights watched as the handmaiden expertly checked on the horses’ conditions. Was she checking their pulses and temperatures?_

_“What were they doing in the pool tunnel?”_

_Sooyoung didn’t have to hide her surprise as she had no idea. But it did point to one glaring fact: Chaewon and Yeojin planned their escape and return if they knew the pool tunnel was a viable option. If they were only out for joyride, they would’ve come up to the gates like they did to alert others of their presence._

_“No idea Aunt Jinsol. But at least they’re back!” _

_(A sneaky look between Sooyoung and Yerim let Sooyoung know Hyejoo’s identity wasn’t compromised because of the runaways’ actions.)_

_“I’m just glad McQueen’s okay. Now I don’t have to beat up Yeojin.” Yerim smiled while giving the horse in question an affectionate hug._

_Jinsol had trouble hiding her surprise there. Yerim could barely swat a mosquito, cutting out the inner squares on all their fly swatters when she was a kid._

_“And Hyejoo?”_

_“Hyejoo?” Sooyoung repeated._

_“Your daughter?” Jinsol led them walking their horses to the stables, wondering if Sooyoung was suffering from lack of sleep. When Jinsol woke up, Sooyoung was stoking the fire. The Head Knight found it rude to walk away and rest properly when a queen - and her best friend - had fallen asleep against her shoulder._

_“She’s still sick,” Yerim chimed in, nodding at Sooyoung to work on her acting._

_“Right, my poor, poor daughter,” Sooyoung pounded at her chest, wiping away a stray tear._

_Okay, too much acting._

_Sensing that Jinsol and Sooyoung were more than antsy to go back to their respective wives and daughters, Yerim volunteered to take the horses back and put their gear away. She had a lot to tell the horses about recent developments in their wolf history._

_“Should I announce you’re back?”_

_“No, that’s alright. We’ll have our entrance speak for themselves,” Jinsol bowed her thanks to Yerim._

_“Race you,” Sooyoung grinned before dashing off._

_“No fair! Your legs are longer!”_

_“Cute, aren’t they?” Yerim commented as Jinsol and Sooyoung raced up to the castle, shoving each other out of the way to get inside first even if the exterior double doors could fit them both._

_Since she was more trained, Jinsol slammed the door in an exhausted Sooyoung’s face._

_“Okay fine!” Sooyoung made her way to the kitchen entrance. “But my wife’s hotter, Jinsol!”_

_The horses nodded at the display and Yerim smiled, happy to have them back._

_(But she was kind of serious about her threat towards Yeojin, knowing her strength and temperament was more than capable of carrying it out now.)_

\---

The postmaster wasn’t used to handing mail to Seneschal Hyunjin. She was barely home and there were whisperings about her state of mind since the Kim kingdom’s attack. But a headless body with a cone for a head floating down the foyer scared him off to make any smalltalk.

It didn’t help that Yeojin was in all white garments, hiding her feet and making her look like she was floating.

“Yeojin, you scared off Postmaster Malone.”

“But getting the mail is my job!”

Hyunjin shook her head. Yeojin was in no state to do anything. One could only hope Chaewon was wearing the same cone concoction and maybe Hyunjin could trick them into a wrestling match for her entertainment.

Any distraction would help right now.

Each day felt harder to get out of bed than the last.

“Come on!” Hyunjin winced as the cone only amplified Yeojin’s voice. “I have to do something.”

“Then go find the book Aunt Vivi says is missing.” Hyunjin knew Yeojin was incapable of doing that but no one liked letting Vivi down.

(Vivi was very distraught about her missing book at breakfast.)

Compartmentalizing the mail between her fingers, Hyunjin huffed as the Jung pile grew bigger and bigger. More treaties to sign, bills to pass, greetings to acknowledge. But what did startle her was that Vivi's pile was growing too.

Besides the few usual letters from her mothers - an Alchemist and Doctor like herself - catalogs of new medical developments, and a few house call requests, the castle physician rarely received correspondence. But this envelope came from a bureau Hyunjin only knew of as a statistical department to help the Dispatch Council know of the citizens’ whereabouts.

The Census Bureau

Those were the people in charge of keeping track of every citizen’s gender, birthplace, career, income, blood type, education status, birthday, and more.

What would Vivi need that information for?

Hyunjin’s thinking spree distracted her enough for all the precariously balanced parcels to fall from her grip. Some of the scrolls and envelopes opening up of their own accord. 

“Should’ve had me do it,” Yeojin bullied.

“Should I get Yerim?” Hyunjin exasperated.

“No. Please don’t.”

Yeojin remembered that Yerim might have a grudge on Chaewon and her for taking McQueen out during a moon cycle. 

Gathering the mail, Hyunjin’s eyes widened as she saw the first few words of a letter addressed to the Jung queen. The stamp above it notarized the terrible words on the announcement.

“No way.”

“What? I want to see,” Yeojin jumped to see if she could dislodge from the cone to take a peek.

Wanting to place the mail over the cone to muffle the squire, Hyunjin let Yeojin read the disturbing news herself. She couldn’t say these words out loud with Yerim probably nearby.

Angling the paper down delicately, Hyunjin made sure the words were right in front of Yeojin.

Cross-eyed but determined, Yeojin almost fell over with the news, thankful Hyunjin was there to support her. She’d never be able to announce something like this.

(Why break Yerim’s heart even more.)

_Queen Jung Jinsol, we congratulate you on slaughtering the werewolf of the year. Evidence surmounts that you slayed an ancient wolf, one of the root causes of our unrest. We found the entrails of your victory scattered along the Shin kingdom shore…_

_\---_

_If undoing violence was part of a queen’s job, Chaewon was remarkable at it._

_While Yeojin ripped through Vivi’s collection of texts, Chaewon made sure to place the items back in the way they found it._

_(She had a lot of experience as she often went through her mothers’ things.)_

_“What about Vicks?” Heejin scratched her head, thumbing through one of Vivi’s medicine catalogs. “My parents say Vicks works for everything.”_

_“Which parents?” _

_“All of them,” Heejin wasn’t used to Haseul and Vivi as her parents. One day she’d be comfortable to call them her mothers. But not yet._

_Especially since they were going through one of her mother’s things._

_Now there was a plethora of “lineages” - adoptive should count - Heejin could follow the line of. But she was bent on being a chef like her birth mother._

_“Oooh look, Aunt Vivi’s diary.”_

_“You mean sister-in-law Vivi,” Chaewon corrected._

_“Yeah, that’s weird,” Yeojin grimaced and flipped through. “Wait, I can’t read anything in this but our names. Wow, she mentions Haseul a lot.”_

_Throwing it behind her, Yeojin didn’t see Chaewon and Heejin diving to catch it._

_Switching two books that Yeojin put back wrong, Chaewon’s eyes caught a worn-down moleskin book that was pushed up against the back of the bookshelf walls. Taking the rest of the books out, Chaewon yanked out the oddly placed object, having been pressed against the back wall for who knows how long._

_Causing the princess to fly backwards onto Vivi and Heejin’s bed._

_Heejin and Yeojin went to check on the princess and sitting on either side of her on the bed, they looked at what Chaewon found._

_A wide tree was carved beautifully on the cover, with faded words in a language neither girls knew. It sure looked different than the language Vivi wrote her diary in. From the dust accumulating in the creases and the lack of smudges on the pages, Aunt Vivi barely touched the book as well. She didn’t write it and she didn’t read it. But she kept it._

_“I haven’t read this one yet,” Heejin awed, wondering what kind of knowledge she could draw from it._

_With how the bed bounced with the other two girls shaking, Heejin knew the curiosity was shared._

\---

Compared to the rowdy citizens, difficult decisions, wolf simulations and actual wolf killings, this stress the queen was under was unbearable.

She shouldn’t feel any type of guilt as it was Jungeun who underwent the actual stresses she was vividly describing. When they first got together, Jinsol was an audience to Jungeun’s earlier attacks. She’d wake up to a drenched, hyperventilating Jungeun. Come downstairs to Jungeun rocking back and forth in a dark room. Walk into Jungeun pounding on her own head to make it stop.

Each one harder to bear than the last.

For Jinsol to witness and for Jungeun to experience.

So when they started getting better and less frequent, they celebrated. The birth of Chaewon and raising her seemed to do the trick.

Until Chaewon’s tenth.

Unsure she could go through it a second time and unsure if Jungeun could as well, Jinsol took it upon herself to stop the root causes of these attacks at the source: the wolves themselves.

But even with the number of wolves dwindling - or not, Jinsol would have to consult the Census Bureau for accurate statistics - Jungeun didn’t get any better. Jinsol was in denial her attacks were still happening, extending her trips abroad to keep herself from watching her wife lose herself.

If it was hard for Jinsol to listen to, how much more difficult for Jungeun to feel it.

Sitting on opposite walls of the hallway, Jungeun talked and Jinsol willingly listened.

“I should’ve been there,” Jinsol thumped her head back against Chaewon’s door.

“Jinsol…” Jungeun stammered, back against the opposite wall, the only thing joining her to her wife was their feet stretched out before them. She inhaled sharply, making a face at the tears running down her own face. “You only half mean that… You know you hate seeing me like this.”

“I know but,” Jinsol pressed the soles of their feet together. She wanted to be closer but knowing Jungeun needed this space so she could properly express herself. “I just… it shouldn’t be hard for me. It’s not me going through it. It’s you. I shouldn’t have left you to deal with it alone.”

Marriage was a gimmick. Especially a Royal marriage like theirs. It was a gimmick Jinsol and Jungeun didn’t believe they’d take seriously. Yet with great gimmicks came great planning and understanding. They were wives on paper but with the way they couldn’t meet eyes without tearing up, they were wives in each other’s hearts.

“My love, you don’t have to bear the weight of my problems.”

Jinsol’s head shot up and her heart cried out at how distraught Jungeun looked. Her hair was sticking to her teary face. Her lips and eyes swollen. Did that mean all those long years of searching for a cure were for naught?

“What kind of wife would I be if I didn’t?”

Jungeun knew Jinsol meant well. Jungeun often asked knights and the council to make sure Jinsol took the safest missions possible.

They were too selfless.

“Not my wife.”

Which made them selfish.

Caught up in this, their own daughter tried to run away from them. There were things worth salvaging. 

“Would you have wanted a different one?”

Maybe one that stayed home more. One that did a better job looking out for her.

One that Jungeun chose herself

“No.”

Even through revealing her darkest parts, Jinsol looked at Jungeun like all of the stars were in her eyes. Even if some of her actions were regrettable, she did it for them. For her.

“No?” Jinsol cocked her head to the side and Jungeun fought everything in her to reach out to her. She needed to get as much of her side of the story out as she can before rewarding herself with Jinsol’s warmth.

For their family.

“Even through all this, I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

\---

_Jiwoo itched at her formal blouse digging into her skin. She had to make a good impression as she bowed before the woman who could help decide her fate. The house was littered with plants, which Jiwoo was sure were gifts to appease the famed woman._

_Maybe she should’ve stolen a plant on the way up here._

_The home was otherworldly in its decor to the young farmer. Items she’d never seen before lined the walls or tables. So many knick knacks and jarred items of significance caught her eye before trails of smoke drew her eyes to the small bubbling cauldron and pipe in the owners wrinkled hand. _

_She was a household name. She was a miracle worker. She was also a heavy smoker._

_Holding her breath, Jiwoo greeted her._

_“You come in wonderment and doubt. Let me guess: Someone to impress? A test you need to take? A journey you need to go on?” The old lady croaked, taking another hit from her pipe._

_“None of them,” Jiwoo shook her head._

_She was a single non-student who couldn’t afford to travel._

_“Then what is it you seek?” The lady put her pipe down to cough out a puff of smoke._

_Jiwoo waited until her coughing fit ended before speaking again. “I was wondering about my future.”_

_“Is it not a future full of love, knowledge, or adventure?”_

_The farmer shook her head vigorously, squirming as her shirt dug further into her skin. She knew this woman was asking for specifics but even those she couldn’t fill in. While the village teenagers gossiped about the royal wedding and they paraded in their muddy aprons to manifest their own marriages, Jiwoo couldn’t join in on the fun. The nine-to-fives in the fields and the market stalls was all Jiwoo knew in life._

_“I don’t know about all that.. But I do know I like girls,” Jiwoo bobbed her head up and down, hoping it would be of some help._

_She should’ve definitely brought a plant._

_Or maybe a fat pig._

_Madame Zeroni chuckled, picking up a different pipe, entertained by the innocence of the girl before her. _

\---

Placing the dishes out on drying racks, Haseul ducked as Jiwoo aimed for her head. She knew this was Jiwoo’s new official job but she wanted to help. Trudging back to the bar stools, Haseul sat down and watched Jiwoo work.

There weren't many dishes to wash as none of the Jungs had come down for lunch.

Also, Vivi was on a rampage and she wasn’t ready to be in the middle of that.

“What do you think about starting school?”

“I’m a little too old for that, don’t you think?”

“Nonsense. If I remember correctly, when Sooyoung became a knight, she helped send her grandmother back to school.”

Jiwoo fought the smile on her face. When they began dating, it was one of the stories Sooyoung shared that got Jiwoo to fall for her.

(Not that she wasn’t already.)

Toweling off the utensils, Haseul shook her head at Jiwoo’s trip down memory lane. But then remembered when any mention of Vivi had her smiling like a fool in the same regard.

“Well we’re almost two months into the year and the kids are getting antsy. I saw Yerim trying to lift a horse the other day. I knew she missed them but wow.”

Even if Yerim wasn’t her child, Jiwoo mentally scheduled a lecture towards the young handmaiden this afternoon.

“I just think it would take the pressure off of them after Heejin’s…”

The clanging of spoons filled in the rest of the sentence.

As an observer to the many changes happening in and out of the castle, Haseul needed a sense of normalcy. Even with Yeojin safe and sound, Haseul wasn’t sure if the same kid returned from her journey outside. She had never seen her sister so excited to do chores around the castle.

Even ones that weren’t originally assigned to her.

Maybe it was boredom or irritation to the fixture around her head but Haseul could feel Yeojin changing as well.

“I mean you could teach too. Like agriculture or self-defense. If I remember correctly, you flipped Sooyoung when you first met.”

Hoping the trick of getting Jiwoo to daydream about Sooyoung would work a second time, Haseul frowned as Jiwoo gave her a look of distaste.

Jiwoo was excited to learn of Haseul and Vivi sharing a room over the past few hours. Albeit, a comatose Yeojin was in the room. Maybe the two could air out their grievances. But here the court musician was, clinging onto a schedule that may not work for them anymore. An empty desk marking Heejin’s absence could set any of them off.

Also, Haseul should be having this discussion with her co-teacher, not her.

“I know you want things to go back to the way it was, I get it, I do. But sometimes change is good.”

Haseul gulped as she warily eyed one of the kitchen cabinets behind Jiwoo’s head.

A cabinet that hid a book with the faded engravings of a tree on it.

\---

_Vivi threw another dirt-soiled rag into the bucket before picking up a clean one._

_It was easier to navigate on Chaewon’s bed now that the Kirby dolls were locked away in her dresser. Vivi knew it had to do with a certain resident’s revulsion towards them._

_Wiping down Chaewon’s arms, Vivi reached under her sleeve to see if any dirt crawled under there. She would leave the actual undressing, knowing they’d have to wash the stained bed sheets as well, to Chaewon’s parents._

_“You made the first full moon of this year very exciting Chaewon,” Vivi had to remind herself that Chaewon wouldn’t respond._

_(Barely a few weeks reading that damned book and she was already losing it.)_

_But Vivi did want to ask what compelled Chaewon to leave and take Yeojin with her. Or maybe it was the other way around and it was Yeojin wanting the rush with Chaewon as her companion. Either way, Vivi knew every member in the castle was coming up with their own theories._

_When a scroll fell out from Chaewon’s sleeve, Vivi shook off the dirt on it, accidentally unscrolling it. Dusting it off and fighting the urge to read its contents, Vivi’s eyes zoomed in on the signatures on the bottom of the page._

_Signatures unfamiliar to her but ones she knew Chaewon would know._

_Looking over its contents, Vivi picked up a few buzzwords, each more heartbreaking than the last. Words Jinsol and Jungeun wished Chaewon would never hear unless it was her conscious choice to say them. After rinsing out the rags, Vivi made sure to return this to Jinsol’s office._

_“Chaewon…”_

_This time Vivi couldn’t fight herself from voicing her thoughts aloud. She wasn’t controlled by forbidden magic yet._

_“What have you done?”_

\---

Yerim wasn’t actually mad at Yeojin but with everyone swimming in their own dilemmas - the usually cheery Jiwoo slammed her dishes down during breakfast, cracking three of them - Yerim could feel all the emotions rubbing off on her.

While her athletic body was molding, her emotions were going haywire.

How did Hyunjin and Hyejoo have such good control over them?

(They don’t.)

While she put animals and humans on the same level of importance, her best friends running away took a toll on her. At the mention of them being missing, her blood pressure skyrocketed and her heart practically beat from her chest.

She was lucky to be away from curious eyes as this happened.

“On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?”

“What?” Yerim asked incredulously at the conehead sitting across from her in the lounge.

“I don’t know, Aunt Vivi says it a lot and you sound like you’re in pain, Yerim.”

Maybe her guess was right years ago when she thought Haseul and Yeojin weren’t human. How could Yeojin sense that without being in close proximity to her? Without seeing her?

“Well, you haven’t talked to me all day so maybe you’re in emotional pain towards me. That’s a thing, you know.”

Whatever enlightenment Yeojin found in her trip abroad, Yerim thanked the source.

Yerim was in pain.

She hated the emptiness she felt when finding out one of her favorite horses was gone. She hated the betrayal of two people she grew up with and told (mostly) everything to leave without a trace. She hated the numbness of uselessness as her best friends lay comatose - what good was being a nonhuman if you couldn’t do anything extraordinary to heal them.

“I just didn’t like seeing all three of you hurt.”

“Three?” Silence for a few seconds as Yerim waited patiently. “Oh right, McQueen.”

Hearing Yerim’s giggle echo in her cone made Yeojin feel better. Even if she now knew what was bothering Yerim, Yeojin wondered what she could do to make it up to her.

Maybe once the cone was off, she could buy her something nice. But she didn’t want to keep borrowing from Chaewon or Haseul. Year after year, she spent her allowance for knight school only to be rejected. As she had to refine her daily schedule to fit her physical impairment, Yeojin thought about how to apply this week’s lesson to her life.

This cone was doing wonders to Yeojin’s self-reflection, the castlehold would agree.

\---

_“Did we get the new shipment of books already?”_

_Being a schoolteacher was new to Haseul but she was sure they had all their supplies for the fall and winter quarter. Fortunate to have the gift - or as others would say, favoritism - of brand new supplies, they donated last year’s curriculum to other schools in the kingdom._

_Vivi shook her head but kept her eyes towards the three girls on her bed, perusing a book she knew Haseul had never seen before._

_A book she kept around but didn’t wish for a long occasion to open._

_“It’s a family heirloom.”_

_“Oh?” Haseul was intrigued as she leaned on the opposite door post, almost missing the concrete and flying backwards if it wasn’t for Vivi catching her arm._

_Vivi rarely talked about her family. Unlike Haseul and Yeojin who didn’t know their family history other than their dad’s side - all their mom told them was fairytales with unnamed protagonists - Vivi knew everything five generations back._

_She just chose not to speak of it._

_“It’s not from the good side of my family.”_

_“I…” Haseul cleared her throat. “I didn’t know you came from a bad side.”_

_“I didn’t. Well, not my immediate family. But some of my distant relatives, we...they...they had to resort to some things that cost them their morality.”_

_(Her great cousin Kalabar was uninvited to all family parties.)_

_Haseul and Vivi looked into the room, thankful the girls were immersed in reading._

_“That book. It contains rituals to perform the strongest magic known to our kind.”_

_Haseul had never heard Vivi sound so small until now. Even after such a debilitating blow to the kingdom, Vivi had kept her head held high and made sure everyone was taken care of._

_“But all those spells come with a price. For example, the resurrection spell,” Vivi lowered her voice. “You can’t bring back a life unless you take one of equal value. I’ve never seen it performed but I heard even the life you bring back isn’t the same as the one lost.”_

_Vivi’s pupils dilated as she remembered the stories she heard. Except these weren’t stories like ones of goblins and sirens that the Bang family heard. These were historical anecdotes of her own people._

_She winced as something touched her forearm and looked up to see Haseul looking at her with a softness she couldn’t describe._

_(In her diary, she’d always fail to find the words to describe anything Haseul did.)_

_“I’m glad you never had to use that book. It wouldn’t be like you.”_

_Before Vivi could retort that Haseul couldn’t prove that, Haseul stormed in and ripped the book out of the childrens’ hands. The book was a reminder of a life Vivi didn’t want and Haseul wanted that temptation out of her life._

_“HEEJIN SAID WE COULD WE READ IT!”_

_“I DID NOT!”_

_“YOU CAN’T PUNISH ME! I’M A PRINCESS!”_

\---

Vivi kept her composure as the world around her went dark.

She succumbed to the air being sucked out from around her, swirling around the pyre she built.

One advantage of living in a castle is that most rooms were unused unless they served a purpose. Even with the renovations after the attack, one would find two-thirds of the castle empty because everyone kept to their respective spaces. Which is why the ballroom - the only remaining of the four ballrooms that once decorated the home - was the perfect room to perform this ritual.

A collection of books lay under a familiar folded pink apron - courtesy of Queen Seohyun sending back Heejin’s things. A thin ring of fire encircled the belongings, growing steadily as Vivi continued her incantation.

But reciting only by memory. Her heirloom book had been missing since this morning. Or was it last night?

Whoever the culprit, she would blame them for this spell going wrong.

In order for one to perform forbidden magic, there was a cost of equal value of the thing that is coveted. It came in forms of sentimental objects, rare plants, animal lives, human lives. But Vivi didn’t need another life yet. Her requested census information of everyone born on her daughter’s birth year was due to arrive any day now.

First, she needed to find Heejin. In order to do so, some of Heejin’s belongings must perish.

She was sure her beloved daughter would understand when she got her back home. Vivi had watched Heejin’s parents die on her very bed, just days after each other, for an illness she couldn’t label. The guilt that followed transformed into her protection and love for their daughter.

Who was now her daughter.

Who was the friendliest and cherished girl in the kingdom.

Vivi recalled the fateful conversation in the kitchen that led Heejin to request a transfer. She was the one that inspired Heejin to leave. She was the one at fault for putting Heejin in a position to be attacked.

She couldn’t help Jungeun heal. She couldn’t help Hyunjin and Yerim develop their skills. She couldn’t guide Hyejoo. She couldn’t keep Yeojin and Chaewon out of danger. She couldn’t even make the woman she loved make her feel like she was wanted.

But this one she could fix.

Heejin’s body, in whatever condition, could still be salvaged.

Above her a dark blue cube formed, cackling and hissing sparks that would have scared the doctor days ago. If she performed this correctly, the cube would pinpoint Heejin’s location whether she was dead or alive.

She only hoped Heejin wasn’t scared as an identical cube would be whizzing above her as well. This was for her own good.

Little regard to her own health, one flaming speck landed on Vivi’s cheek. She merely brushed it off, knowing she could apply a balm to it later, focusing her energy on the ceremony. As the fire grew closer it singed the strings of Jieun’s gift to Heejin before she passed, Vivi fumbled the rhyme scheme as she remembered teaching Heejin how to bake a simple sourdough in this outfit. 

Vivi dropped to her knees, extinguishing the flame with her hands as she embraced the apron tightly against herself.

The blue cube blackened.

The fire grew dim.

The items were saved.

But Vivi’s principles were forever scarred.

\---

_Jiwoo patted her empty pockets as she turned the street. Her parents would be worried sick, no doubt, about her but she lost the money._

_She couldn’t remember where she placed the hefty payment from the queens after delivering food for the princess’ engagement party. It was hard to keep track of money when she was helping the princess escape. She didn’t have a plan - she never needed one - but the previous day in Jungeun’s company was the best adventure she’s had in her lifetime._

_The grim reality of how they would actually survive crept up in Jiwoo’s mind. She knew one language and couldn’t even read it. Whereas the princess knew a handful but had never been in situations to utilize it. They didn’t scour the lands due to lack of free time or in Jungeun’s case, it wasn’t princess behavior._

_Trapped by their own limitations, the wolf attack scared them back to the present._

_She would still be a farmer the next day._

_Jungeun would still be engaged._

_From how the princess described her fiancee, Jiwoo thought that maybe Jungeun’s upbringing was vastly different from hers. She knew riches and comfort made one’s perspective in life differently but the traits Jungeun described her future wife with weren’t ones Jiwoo would find unattractive._

_(“She just wants to make me happy. And she keeps asking for my opinion. And she takes notes when I talk. Actual notes on paper.”)_

_Not that she had a chance with any princess anyway._

_Maybe a knight._

_Like that charming knight she met again in the Kim corridors._

_But Jiwoo would save that thought for another knight - Jiwoo shook her head - night. Night. She meant night._

_Not that she had a chance with any of them either._

_Jiwoo was on the road of mediocrity and she wouldn’t dare drag anyone down with her._

\---

The five didn’t think they’d gather until after the full moon cycle ended but Hyejoo deserved to know. The entire kingdom would’ve heard the news by now.

“Think it might’ve been Tao?” Hyunjin asked.

Hyunjin could hear and smell Hyejoo behind her. (There should be an invention to neuter wolf breath.) Hyunjin sat in the tunnel while Hyejoo lay sprawled out on the platform beside it. Sooyoung and Jiwoo sat across from them on the other side, fawning over Yerim trying to rub Hyejoo’s belly, Hyejoo fending her off with her legs.

(The married couple tried to do that when Hyejoo was a kid and a swift kick to Sooyoung’s nose was all they needed to know.)

(They were also feeling residual forgiveness from Sooyoung bringing up Jiwoo’s past. While Jiwoo dealt with it, Sooyoung kept her distance and busied herself around the castle.)

“Tao was the wolf that was in the tunnel?” Sooyoung relied on their testimonies, having been out in the woods during their meeting.

She was with Jinsol the entire time and they didn’t come close to finding a wolf. Let alone, an ancient one. The details the council used to describe this wolf’s murder, she couldn’t imagine Jinsol doing such a thing. Limbs strewn over the beach. Skull smashed in. Whatever of whoever murdered him did it when he was in his human form, making it seem like an ordinary murder.

If one could call it that.

Dental work matched his canines to that of a wolf. The fur clothing he wore was linked to other cases where more experienced wolves used fur-infused attire to shift from wolf to human form easily. This made the murder more victorious as killing an older werewolf would stop one cycle of werewolf breeding. (They all wondered if the council knew about that fact.)

But Tao had promised that over the years, he stopped converting humans.

A fact the council didn’t know. They didn’t even know his name. They would bet the council would have his skull cleaned, brandished, and encased in one of their many ballrooms as a trophy.

“He didn’t deserve that,” Yerim sniffled.

“I know,” Hyunjin reached around for Yerim’s hand but hit Hyejoo in the process.

The hybrid grumbled.

“What if he compromised Hyejoo’s location?” Sooyoung shot up, almost hitting her head on the curved concrete.

“If he did, they would’ve been here by now,” Jiwoo reasoned, unsure who she was trying to convince.

Who or what killed Tao had to have been stronger or as equally strong as him. Whether it was a strong pack of newborns or the brethren who banished him, they were all threats to Hyejoo and the Jung castlehold.

“I’ll ask my old boss if I can get some silver and I’ll recoat some of the bars around the castle,” Sooyoung looked over to one of the tunnel gates, hand running over the material. “Maybe the furthest filtration gates too.”

“I’ll take a look at any cracks in the castle walls that could provide an easy jump into our home,” Hyunjin finished.

Sooyoung and Hyunjin high-fived. Jiwoo and Yerim softened at the two knights’ newfound partnership. The third knight in the tunnel rolled her eyes, knowing she couldn’t contribute with her language barrier.

That gratifying moment of communicating with Tao was short-lived but she’d cherish it for years to come. Granting Hyejoo her privacy, the four set off to prepare this evening’s meal.

(Not without Yerim sneaking in another belly rub and Hyejoo punting her. Hyunjin was fast to catch her airborne sister before she knocked herself out on the arched ceiling.)

“Aunt Jinsol was trying to change too,” Hyunjin sighed, referring to how this only bolstered or tarnished the queen’s reputation (depending on how you envisioned her).

“You don’t think Aunt Jungeun would believe this right?” Yerim asked.

Jiwoo and Sooyoung shared a look, squinting as their eyes didn’t adjust to the dim lighting like the lycans leading the way. The Jung queens were a conundrum but a few baseless rumors would never ruin their relationship.

“Chaewon might.”

\---

_Jinsol couldn’t pronounce more than half of these words so how could she be sure these were safe to ingest? Or apply topically? Or smoke? Or whatever route of entry._

_Screaming into her hands, she allowed herself to feel true desperation before continuing on her work._

_The queen was quite proud of herself. This was one of her first endeavors the council knew nothing about. They even had a (nosy) hand in her courting of the Kim princess but that was to uphold their reputation. In hindsight, their raw love story did the council more favors than they wanted. Jinsol and Jungeun were paraded around as a success story that arranged marriages worked._

_(As if Jinsol and Jungeun didn’t spend months in separate bedrooms trying to figure out their feelings without the interference of others.)_

_Jinsol had keen hearing in the woods but in the castle, she tried to turn that side of her off. Which is why she didn’t hear the knocks on her office door until they were loud bangs._

_“Come in!”_

_Hurrying to sweep her files into her secret drawer, Jinsol cursed as one page flew out of her folder and in front of her guest._

_“W-wh-where did you get this?” Vivi lifted the paper off the ground, unsure if she wanted to throw it into Jinsol’s office fireplace or hand it to her students to ball up and use it as ammo._

_(Most likely at her head.)_

_Jinsol closed her drawer slowly, realizing her months of hard work had been discovered. But it’s not like she was making progress. Every piece of knowledge she picked up was detrimental to her career and to her own mental health. What more if this knowledge was actually applied._

_“Jinsol, I asked where you got this.” Vivi never sounded scarier than she did right now._

_Jinsol wanted her chair to swallow her up, knowing Vivi of all people would figure this out faster than anybody just by looking at one page of research._

_“A few doctors, mind you, trained doctors like yourself, from around the lands-”_

_“Jinsol, are these even tested? Did these go to trial?”_

_“Not yet but-”_

_“‘NOT YET?!”_

_“Please, Vivi, keep your voice down, Jungeun could-”_

_“I HOPE SHE DOES HEAR ME BECAUSE THIS IS ABOUT HER!”_

_It would be like Vivi to take Jungeun’s side, having grown up next to her for part of her life as a student of the Kim kingdom’s former physician, then later as Jungeun’s own doctor. She was baffled at each word on the page. She kept up-to-date with the advancements in medicine and technology to better her practice but these remedies Jinsol were looking at were definitely not approved for mass consumption._

_“Sertraline, Paroxetine, Imipramine, Citalopram,” Vivi read out, punching each word with venom that seeped into Jinsol’s mind. “These aren’t available in regular markets, Your Highness.”_

_Growing angry at the accusation she was getting at, Jinsol stood up abruptly, toppling her chair backwards. “You don’t think I don’t know that? I’m not going to ask Jungeun to use something that is untested for my benefit. Or the market’s benefit. Or medical research’s benefit. I just want to know when there is a cure ready so she doesn’t have to live like this anymore!”_

_Heaving, Jinsol braced herself on the desk, admitting this for the first time aloud._

_Her missions were always longer than a regular knight because she had added another mission._

_Find the cure for Jungeun so she can live a normal life._

_If there was such a thing as normal for royals._

_Taking pity on the queen, Vivi noticed the dark circles under Jinsol’s eyes. Her frail arms looked like they’d fall off. Did she eat a meal today? In front of her wasn’t a money hungry pharmacist or a capitalist entrepreneur. It was a desperate wife doing desperate things for a desperate situation._

_“I know that she’s having attacks again. And nightmares. When I sneak home late at night, I see Chaewon or Haseul or you trying to calm her down in our room so I camp out here,” Jinsol gestured to her office space. “Until the next morning. She won’t tell me they’re happening but I know.”_

_Jinsol fought the tears from coming, the queen busied herself by picking up her chair. Vivi handed the loose piece of paper back to her but Jinsol shied away from it, letting it float to the table._

_The physician hugged her cardigan close to her. She knew Jinsol wouldn’t force feed these experiments to Jungeun but what she was doing was unhealthy. If she kept searching for a cure, she’d always see Jungeun’s condition as a defect._

\---

Fighting a cold draft wafting through the castle - it was like something sucked up all the heat - Jungeun was cuddled into Jinsol’s side, both of them pressed against Chaewon’s door.

Listening for any sounds of her awakening, the two believed Chaewon would confess her reasons for leaving - and hopefully a better explanation than Yeojin - when she was ready. 

Hopefully she didn’t inherit procrastination from either of them.

Their first mistake during their first talk last month was airing one issue out longer than necessary, thinking it was enough to patch up all that was lost between them. So to Jinsol’s reluctance -

(_“This conversation is about you Jungeun. I had my turn last time.”_

_“No, that didn’t work, remember? This conversation is about us.”_)

-they let their regrets and admonishments around Jungeun’s condition digest where it was and moved on.

Real progress this time.

Jinsol hung her head. The years she spent searching far and wide and over and under for a miracle did her no favors. There were too many side effects, not enough trial periods, ingredients that weren’t “Vivi-approved.” If the ever-so secretive Hyunjin wasn’t her partner, she would’ve been discovered by now. Another knight would’ve ratted her to Jungeun, to Chaewon, or to the Council.

“I wasted so much time,” Jinsol felt the tears forming and knocked her head back to stop them.

Jungeun was supposed to have the floor. She had her time.

Shaking her head, Jungeun placed her hand in-between Jinsol’s head and the door to cease her pity party. When she recalled her first attack after Jinsol’s knighting, she didn’t think how easily it would flow from her lips.

(_“I thought to myself: What a shame. Your wife is out there fighting for the common good and I’m here hyperventilating at my own reflection.”_)

Each story vivid like she lived through them yesterday.

(_“It was like everything was too loud. Too fast. The world was against me.”_)

When one symptom disappeared, it was like another one replaced it.

(_“I couldn’t tell if I was getting better or worse. At least the nausea I could hide in our citizens’ presence."_)

And what surprised her was she didn’t beautify it either.

(_“I sweated right through my clothes, Jinsol. I thought Haseul would have to hold me down to get me to stop convulsing.”_)

An indicator that she was supposed to tell the love of her life this all along. That these secrets were their own misgivings. So it was no surprise Jinsol had more secrets to reveal.

The wolf killings and the panic attacks were prologues.

This time, they’d listen to the whole story.

“And what else?” Jinsol whispered against her hair.

“Are you sure you want to hear the rest?” Jungeun wasn’t sure she had much more to give. Any person would’ve steered away from her after hearing the details of her condition.

“I do,” Jinsol pulled at her ears, a playful representation that she was ready to listen.

No matter how much Jungeun would tell her today and the days after.

“Now those words are awfully familiar,” Jungeun laughed heartily, a decades old weight dissipating off her shoulders, back, and even her heart.

Bringing Jinsol down for a kiss - Jinsol steadying herself on Jungeun’s thigh - they welcomed this better version of themselves.

\---

_“What did you think of the play?”_

_“Kind of an interesting plot.”_

_“How so?”_

_The two women were walking back from a traveling playing company’s show, Knight Sooyoung following close enough to protect them but enough to be out of earshot. Jungeun grimaced uncomfortably at the mistletoe-soaked vest she was wearing, the unusual smell warding off people wanting to sit in the rows around them._

_(A royal should be sitting in their own section of the theatre anyway. Not that Jungeun appreciated that arbitrary segregation.)_

_Jiwoo would’ve had one too but she wasn’t priority protection._

_(Not that Sooyoung tried to sneak an extra vest on-the-go, even offering her own when Jiwoo politely declined.)_

_“Well, the main character, I think Koo Sera was her name, was applying for office to represent a group of people,” Jungeun trailed off. “That’s very different than here.”_

_Jiwoo nodded. All governing positions were by birthright in Milieu. She could see that more was on Jungeun’s mind besides the oddity of the character’s career choice._

_(Also, Sooyoung slashing and jumping at every bush in front of them was very entertaining.)_

_“What about you?”_

_“Hmmmm?” Jiwoo kept her eyes trained on the knight, something Jungeun took note of._

_“Dream job?”_

_“Um...well… I never really thought of it,” Jiwoo fiddled with her scratchy blouse - her only theatre-appropriate wear - as she mulled over the question._

_As innocent as it was, Jiwoo never felt like she had a choice. Farming was her family’s way of life for centuries. Before she could explain herself, she could see Jungeun asking the same question to herself. How long had the Kims ruled over this land? Jiwoo could’ve answered the question herself if she stayed in school. _

_Jungeun would have a way out of the kingdom. Maybe not so much away from her usual schedule. The royal blue decor that symbolized the Jung kingdom would replace the Kim kingdom’s crimson. The Jung’s swamps and fertile terraces would give something new for the Kim princess to look at. Jungeun’s marriage of convenience sounded like a marriage of change._

_But a change given without her consent._

_A change the charming knight - who was now swatting a posse of fireflies she had angered with her violent sword slashing - in front of them would have to accept as well, as she would be accompanying Jungeun at Jinsol’s request._

_“I’m alright Princess Jungeun. No need to be alarmed. Just a few bugs is all,” Sooyoung narrated as she waved off the bugs left and right._

_Jungeun sucked in a smile as she caught a small giggled from the woman beside her. While the play had made her go through an existential crisis of her own, she could see how it affected Jiwoo as well. _

_Jungeun was stuck as a royal for the rest of her life and Jiwoo had sworn she would be stuck as a fruit farmer as well. But maybe with what little power she had, it didn’t have to be this way for one of them._

\---

One could take a girl out of the village but one cannot take the village instinct out of the girl.

Jiwoo just about gave Yeojin another reason to wear that ridiculous cone when she caught her approaching from behind from the shadow she cast over her.

“NOT MY BACK AGAIN!”

Scooping ice from the underground chiller, Jiwoo funneled them inside the cone to soothe the girl she flipped over. Jiwoo pulled out a chair for her to sit on. Without seeing her face, the handmaiden/cook knew she was coming to her with something important.

“Aunt Jiwoo, how did you know when you weren’t going to be a farmer?”

The sound of dripping water running down Yeojin’s cone filled in the awkward silence as Jiwoo grabbed the nearest rag to dry her up. Ever since Sooyoung (unknowingly) brought up Jiwoo’s job, she had been on an unpleasant trip down memory lane.

“I always thought I’d be a farmer to be honest. It just seemed like my only option. People liked to marry rich to get out of it and I don’t blame them. But not me. So when Sooyoung came along,” Jiwoo bit back a smile. “There was a moment when I thought that if I succumbed to my attraction to her, then that would mean I was desperate.”

“Too many big words Aunt Jiwoo.”

“Oh I’m sorry.”

“But I understood them perfectly,” Yeojin gave a thumbs up, accompanied by the clacking of shaking ice as she nodded.

“But then I realized that I was so bent on this one dream I thought I had, I almost lost my chance with her.” Jiwoo sighed in relief as water stopped running down Yeojin’s neck. “Does this have to do with why Chaewon and you ran away?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jiwoo was tempted to flip her a second time.

“I don’t know,” the squire huffed. “I thought I’d always be a court musician because of my family. And then later I changed my mind to a knight because I wanted to renounce that part for a while because knights are so much cooler.”

Yeojin waited for Jiwoo to laugh, which she did right on cue.

“That’s all I knew. But not everything is as cool anymore. Like those blood oaths?” Yeojin held out her almost-healed palm. “They hurt!”

Another laugh. Maybe Yeojin can make a career out of this.

“But now I feel like it’s too late to change my mind.”

Yeojin was taking this time off duty to reflect.

(Literally as well as certain lighting transformed the material around her head to a distorted mirror.)

When Hyunjin took on mail duty, Yeojin didn’t feel like she got her job taken away from her. No one announced Queen Jinsol and Knight Sooyoung’s arrival but time still moved on without it. It wasn’t that Yeojin wasn’t important to the castlehold and its upkeep but that her squire status wasn’t all there was to her. 

Hoping to cheer up the young girl, Jiwoo clasped a hand on Yeojin’s shoulder.

“Yeojin, look at me.”

Yeojin tried.

“You don’t have to be what people think you should because of where your family comes from. Or because that’s what you thought growing up. I mean look at me, your sister wants me to be a teacher.”

Jiwoo learned a bunch of odd jobs - keep in mind, these were under desperate circumstances - when Hyejoo had them village-hopping to keep her identity safe.

Age was a factor and one could always find new passions as they got older. Maybe one day Hyejoo would take on another career and they'd support her through and through.

“WAIT! SCHOOL IS BACK IN SESSION?!”

\---

_“I apologize for her behavior.”_

_“Haseul, really, it’s okay,” Vivi retracted her hand reaching out, counting how many times she’s touched the beautiful court musician today. Maybe too many._

_They were co-workers and co-teachers. Being affectionate was out of the question for the professional relationship they had._

_Also wives._

_They had finished running the three rascals out of the bedroom, organizing whatever looked out of place. Haseul straightened the bedsheets and Vivi tackled the mess that was her books._

_Vivi actually did the scaring off. No one was taking Haseul’s threats to put down Vivi’s book seriously until Vivi came in, spouting a spell they’ve never heard of._

_(“Azarath Metrion Zinthos…” Vivi widened her eyes for the full effect as she floated in._

_“Oh no no no Aunt Teacher Vivi we’re sorry.”_

_“Please don’t curse me in my sleep.”_

_“You can’t curse me, I’m a princess!”)_

_“She’s been interested in all sorts of things recently,” Haseul explained. “Sorcery, juggling, auction hosting, knighthood. I mean we could’ve guessed that with her crush on Chaewon.”_

_Vivi chuckled in agreement, tucking the tainted book back to its rightful place:_

_Far away from her._

_“I just always thought Yeojin and I would form a musical duo like most court musicians’ kids.”_

_Filing the rest of the books to cover the offending family heirloom, Vivi gestured for Haseul to take a seat on her bed, sitting right next to her._

_Making sure the distance was professional._

_“Haseul, she doesn’t have to take after your parents. Music might not be her passion.”_

_“Well she certainly liked banging on pots and pans and every surface like a drum.”_

_Haseul dug into her mind for another counterpoint but then saw that Vivi wasn’t even looking at her. Following the physician’s eyes, she was focused on the bookshelf in the corner of the bedroom where she hid the spellbook they snatched from the children’s hands._

_Not moments ago, she had told Vivi she didn’t have to be part of some of her family practices. How hypocritical was it to preach the opposite about her own family._

_“Vivi…”_

_“Yeah…”_

_The hollowness in Vivi’s voice terrified Haseul. Whatever those ancestors did had made Vivi afraid of one of the few relics of her homeland._

_“You don’t have to be like them.”_

_“Thank you, Haseul,” Vivi didn’t hold back in patting respectfully on her wife’s thigh. Breaking her gaze from the bookshelf, she was met with the most sympathetic eyes. What was going on in her wife’s pretty mind of hers?_

_(And how was she ever going to describe them in her diary?)_

_“And neither does Yeojin,” Haseul admitted aloud._

_Placing a hand on top of Vivi’s, Haseul felt like this moment - running their daughter and friends out of the room, fixing up their (unshared) room, and coming to an agreement - almost felt like they were actually married._

\---

As for the longest-running married couple in the household, they were swadled up in each other’s arms, pausing their conversation.

Jungeun and Jinsol promised they’d continue this right where they left off at another time.

Smoke was rising from the corridor windows, a sign that dinner was being prepared.

(That or the young ones were up to something again.)

“I feel like we accomplished a lot today,” Jinsol puffed her cheeks out.

“Hmmmm?” Jungeun traced up the hemming of Jinsol’s shirt.

Jinsol was by far the most active queen in all the lands. Knight, arbiter, representative, entertainer, legislator, wife, mother, and friend. Jinsol had a lot on her plate. Today, all she did was pace up and down the corridor and listen. When their reign had run its course, Jungeun hoped she could have some rest.

She also remembered that she too needed rest. Unbeknownst to the citizens and some of the castlehold, she was contributing to protecting the people in her own way.

“I’m speaking for myself of course, but I’ve never felt more freer with you than I do now,”Jinsol thunked her head softly against Jungeun’s, missing these small moments with her.

Before, it was like walking on eggshells but now, she could project her adoration towards her with an open heart.

“Me too Jinsol,” Jungeun agreed. “I wish we could’ve done more though.”

She was speaking in terms of their relationship but the sentiment could be transferred to other endeavors. As queens, they exercised their jurisdiction as best they could, under the pretenses that the council would agree to their every decision.

(They didn't, which made their jobs harder than what their citizens thought.)

“I think we’ve done enough, my love.”

They didn’t do enough as parents if Chaewon needed to leave the castle for some gratification they couldn’t grant her.

“Then, why did Chaewon leave?”

The wafting smells of dinner only made their stomachs churn - Jungeun’s more than usual as she found herself more sensitive to the smell of food.

“I always thought we gave her everything. She never asked for more than we could provide. A little greedy at times,” Jinsol laughed a little but let Jungeun continue. “But within reason. And she was out there, practically alone, and we couldn’t protect her.”

Jinsol felt Jungeun move away from her, berating herself for something she couldn’t foresee. But Jinsol held her closer, taking part of the punishment.

“I’m disappointed too but we did everything we could to protect and teach her to protect herself. Archery lessons, self-defense lessons,” Jinsol was grasping for more reasons.

Jungeun nodded, snuggling closer to her wife to thank her for breaking her out of her tirade.

“You know? While you were teaching her to fight, I’ve done my part too…”

“Tell me more,” Jinsol gave Jungeun all the attention in the world.

“Well,” Jungeun blushed as she felt a hot flash coming. Probably Jinsol’s doing. “You know her Kirby dolls- “

“Jinsol, Jungeun, I didn’t expect to find you here.”

Vivi knew they were on the top floor of the castle but she didn’t expect to see them cuddling in the hallway. Seeing what door they were camping in front of, she understood immediately.

“What can we do for you, Vivi?” Jinsol smiled, kissing Junguen’s forehead to remind her that this conversation wasn’t over.

It was never meant to be.

Knowing she was growing desperate, Vivi cleared her head to know that her forbidden spellbook couldn’t have been in Jinsol and Jungeun’s possession. They probably didn’t even know it existed.

(Chaewon, on the other hand, would but she had been locked away for the whole day. She couldn’t have ransacked her medical bag since her arrival.)

“Nothing.” Vivi grinned at the married couple. “Nothing at all.”

\---

_“Do you think this is the right decision for me?” Jiwoo asked at dinner that evening._

_Onew bit his tongue but saw that Jiwoo was debating something that no one would’ve passed up. To be able to travel to another kingdom, even for a job, was a dream come true._

_Since Jiwoo started her relationship with Sooyoung, their reputation had improved among the commonwealth. Villages far and wide wanted to know what common village farmer attracted the attention of one of the few female knights from the Academy. That’s not to say there weren’t cynics who believed Jiwoo was only canoodling with the royal knight for money and power._

_Which is something Onew and Luna hoped Jiwoo would never hear about._

_This afternoon, Jiwoo was outside their much larger shack, courtesy of Queens Hyelim and Yubin, showing a letter from her beloved to their new neighbors, gushing at how Sooyoung was asking her to move to the Jung castle as Jungeun’s new handmaiden._

_From what they heard, the former Kim princess treated her handmaidens well, barely letting them lift a finger unless necessary. They wouldn’t worry about Jiwoo’s promotion as they’ve come to adore the Jungeun princess due to her frequent hangouts at their shack and market stall._

_Onew, however, was still warming up to the Kim kingdom knight._

_“What do you mean?” Luna reached out to hold her daughter’s hand across their longer-than-they-were-used-to dining table._

_“I don’t know. What if I’m not cut out for handmaidening?” Jiwoo scrunched up her forehead, wondering if that was even a word. “I don’t want Jungeun to regret asking for my services.”_

_“I guarantee you, she isn’t asking for another helping hand, Jiwoo. You know her by now. In fact, I think she only wants your company. Queen Jinsol is very gracious to let her request your presence.”_

_Onew could agree with that statement._

_“And Sooyoung could use your company as well.”_

_But he couldn’t agree with that one._

_“This just seems so different than what I’m used to. I don’t even know if this is what I’m supposed to be. I thought I was going to be a farmer for the rest of my life.”_

_Before Luna could get another word in, Onew reached across to hold Jiwoo’s other hand._

_Looking at their new abode, the polish still fresh, Jiwoo didn’t need to work backbreaking hours to move her parents into somewhere nice. They could retire if they weren’t so stubborn._

_A trait they definitely passed to their precious daughter._

_“You can defy us Jiwoo, it’s okay. In fact, I encourage it. Don’t let our family hold you back from becoming something you really want to be.”_

\---

Haseul let out a monstrous groan as she heaved the heavy pool tunnel door open.

It would have been an easier task if she had an extra pair of hands but her favorite pair - shaking her head at the cheesiness of the thought - were preoccupied.

But, hopefully this would get her out of her stupor.

Haseul didn’t know when Vivi had dug out that wretched family heirloom of hers but she recalled a conversation in what was then Heejin and Vivi’s bedroom. She inspired Vivi to stow the book away. But she didn’t try hard enough as it had made its way into Vivi’s hands again.

She couldn’t help Jungeun heal. She couldn’t help Yeojin figure out her lifelong dream. She couldn’t even make the woman she loved make her feel like she was perfect the way she was.

But this one she could fix.

Vivi’s conscience, in whatever condition, could still be salvaged.

With a large bucket of water she lugged from the kitchen - another reason she was out of breath - she would literally wash away Vivi’s sins. If Yeojin and Chaewon had planned on sneaking in through the tunnel, the tunnel grates would’ve still been raised.

The castle physician had given Haseul a brief overview of the contents of this book. Pathokenesis, mind-reading incantations, locating charms, torture curses, ressurection spells. Each more dangerous and soul-searing than the last.

Even if the witch performing the spell got what they wanted, their good nature would be lost.

Placing the book at the edge of the tunnel, Haseul was ready to flush it out to sea.

Water had always made her feel more relaxed and safe, maybe it could cleanse this ancient text and heal their family.

“Haseul, is that my book?” A soft voice called from behind her.

Sticky fingers ran in the Bang family but Haseul was the most innocent of them. This would be the first time she stole from Vivi.

“Haseul, it’s okay.” Vivi reached out for the bucket and book, unsure if she wanted Haseul to be this close to her.

Vivi didn’t want to think Haseul would betray her to this extent but she knew she had reasons. If she had performed the tracking spell flawlessly, she would’ve been kilometers out to find Heejin by now.

But would Heejin like that Vivi disobeyed her own morals to find her?

Would Haseul?

“Vivi, I didn’t mean to. I know we’re wives and all but I wasn’t sure how far gone you were already.” Haseul placed the bucket down, exhausted in more ways than one.

The first time in years she referred to Vivi as her wife too.

“It’s okay to worry about me,” Vivi sighed, needing a grip on the reality she almost rewrote. Haseul’s hands were inviting enough, grabbing onto them. “Somebody had to.”

Vivi’s soft hands were cold and rough to the touch but Haseul didn’t let that deter her. She squeezed Vivi’s hands to remind her to loosen her grip.

The same Vivi was still in there.

With all going on in the castle, it was easy to miss Vivi’s downward spiral into delirium. But Haseul had always been perceptive.

A Bang family characteristic.

“But why go this far?”

Not to doubt Vivi’s skills but who’s to say it would be the same Heejin that returned to them. Hyunjin might even be more heartbroken than how she is now.

(Something she needed to admit out loud.)

“I didn’t want to let her go yet. I guess throughout this all, it was me I let go,” Vivi could now feel the flaming speck’s burn. Something she knew Haseul would notice with their close proximity. “I couldn’t lose my daughter as well as you.”

Sure enough, Haseul focused on the small bruised burn on Vivi’s cheek. 

“I haven’t gone anywhere..”

Haseul reached up to brush it away, thinking it was a smudge or ink stain, not something that hurt her sweet co-teacher. The damned book she was holding fell to their feet.

“Yeah, you have,” Vivi was done being cryptic around Haseul, kicking the book away. Years wasted without proper acknowledgement of the feelings they knew were brewing for one another. “And so did I.”

“But now I’m here,” Haseul confessed. 

With nothing in-between them, Haseul and Vivi met for their first kiss.

\---

_“So you two were in there a long time?”_

_“Shut up,” Haseul tossed the nearest object - a glass of water - at her sister._

_But having a knack of knowing when water was near - which wasn’t very useful in knight academy unless they were doing water survival training - Yeojin dodged it effortlessly and caught the glass before it hit the ground._

_It was nearing sundown and Haseul had just come from Vivi’s room. Talking about everything and nothing, Haseul had never known time to fly by so fast. Maybe Vivi was one of the “bad ones” and had cast some time-fast-forwarding spell on her._

_But Haseul knew Vivi would never do anything to jeopardize her good standing as a witch descendant._

_“So, did you convince Aunt Vivi to bring back the bat?”_

_Yeojin held in a laugh at the object that the water spilled on. It was supposed to be Hyunjin’s seneschal portrait to hang in the Great Hall but with the liquid botched the drying process, making Hyunjin look like a horse._

_“I did not.”_

_“B-b-but Y-ye-yerim’s going to hate me,” Yeojin’s spit aided in ruining the portrait more and more._

_“I promise you, she won’t,” Haseul said only half-seriously._

_Taking Yeojin under her wing, she steered her away from the botched knight paintings and led them to their bedroom. She fought the urge to peek into Vivi and Heejin’s room and could hear Vivi reprimanding Heejin on going through her private belongings._

_“If someone told you to jump off a roof, would you do it?” Vivi questioned, her stare unrelenting._

_“How tall is this building exactly?” Heejin sheepishly asked._

_This would mark Heejin’s first lecture under her new moms. Well, one for now._

_Haseul had Yeojin to take care of right now._

_“I know it’s hard and she might ignore you for a few days but she is going to have to accept that her bat is dead.”_

_“But what if there was a way to bring it back to life? Then we don’t have to accept it,” Yeojin reasoned. She didn’t need school - she was still gathering a petition to excuse her from Vivi and Haseul’s Academy - to think logically._

_“And then what, the world will be a better place if there was no death?”_

_“Yes?”_

_“It could but,” Haseul blew her hair out of her face as she tucked them away into their room. Her parents touring more than usual - to distract from all the death and destruction from the last attack - meant she had to step into her maternal shoes._

_(Not that she didn’t already have an adoptive daughter a room away.)_

_“Then you might take things for granted. You could ignore someone you’re mad at for months because you know they won’t die.”_

_“Or hold off telling them you love them,” Yeojin baited under her breath as they changed into the nighttime clothes._

_“What was that?”_

_“Nothing.”_

_But even if Yerim’s disappointment terrified her more than anything, Yeojin knew she had to accept the inevitable. Maybe the bat was on its way to death. Maybe not. Maybe Yerim would never speak to her again. Maybe not. Maybe Aunt Jungeun would never get better and Mom and Dad would never come back. Maybe one day they weren’t beholden to live a life following their parents’ footsteps._

\---

Hyejoo thought her transformation in the castle would not be as eventful as before but the turnstile of visitors she’s had lately begs to differ.

Her mother had just finished ranting to her how she might have triggered something within her wife this morning and Hyejoo let Sooyoung cry into her fur before escorting her back to the tunnel entrance.

Then her other mother stopped by to ask if Sooyoung had stopped by.

Yerim zoomed back in for another tickle fight before sprinting out.

Then Hyejoo swore her heart fell out of her chest, hearing Haseul’s voice carry down the tunnel. The tunnel door closed moments later which granted her peace.

“It’s just hard you know? Because if I say the words, it means I accepted it.”

Hyunjin thunked her head against the concrete walls, unbothered that Haseul could’ve aborted the entire hideout, rather looking if Hyejoo was processing her words.

Unbeknownst to her, everyone, yes even Hyejoo, was worried for the knight’s wellbeing. She carried on her day-to-day schedule but for menial tasks, she needed reminders. She bathed infrequently and skipped meals. If she was out on missions, it would be excusable.

“And if I accepted it, it would mean that I didn’t try hard enough to deny it.”

Funny how Yerim was honing in on her wolfish physical attributes that Hyunjin trained before and Hyunjin was doing the same with her intuitive ones which Yerim was a natural at.

“We never said it out loud but we were definitely more than friends at that point.”

Hyejoo wasn’t a full animal but at least Hyunjin was trying. She was paying attention to Hyejoo’s every eye flicker and movement, reading her like she could understand.

“So if I don’t say it loud, it doesn’t change the fact that she could be dead right?”

Hyejoo lifted her shoulders slightly. To human eyes, it looked like an animal stretching its limbs.

“Is that a yes?”

Hyejoo dramatized the movement - her parents were subscribed fans of the theatre for her to pick up pantomime. Communication with animals (and hybrids) wasn’t Hyunjin’s forte.

(If she could talk, she’d say her communication with humans could use some training as well.)

“Oh. You’re shrugging. That’s a shrug,” Hyunjin deciphered. “So you don’t think she’s dead. Okay. Got it.”

Chaewon thought the same about Hyejoo for years but was proven wrong a couple months ago. She knew what holding onto lost hope was like.

But now Chaewon was back in her life and even if she disappeared for a day, Hyejoo now knew that inside that hope was something more.

Something she could put in words unlike her half-furry friend here.

Once she was back in her human body, maybe she would say them.

“Right. Good talk. Have a good dinner.”

Hyunjin placed down five steaks that Jiwoo cooked up rare and went on her way.

Hyejoo had to point to the right direction of the castle as Hyunjin started walking towards the shore.

\---

_The Jung castle rarely held funerals and this would be the first one that the current residents would witness. A rather confused Jinsol had freshly showered from knight academy and joined her wife’s side as they peered at the coffin. Smaller than what they were used to but bittersweet all the same._

_The loudest crier was not the owner of the dead bat but the perpetrator herself. She could barely get through her eulogy before breaking down into tears. Yeojin cried even harder when Yerim scooped her up in her arms, forgiving her._

_(Hyunjin fought the urge to do the same with a distraught Heejin.)_

_“It’s time,” Vivi whispered to Yerim as she lowered the box into the ground in their garden._

_Yeojin’s wailing was drowned out by Jinsol and Haseul’s shoveling._

_Vivi wondered if they could’ve skipped this entire event if she had brought the bat back to life. Every life was set to expire and she had the power to prevent this._

_Another bat of equal age would suffer but she would do anything to make her family happy._

_But seeing a smile grace Yerim’s face at the reception Haseul and Jungeun put together and Yeojin putting on a show per usual, she knew it was a bittersweet reminder of the beauty and ugliness of life._

_It went on regardless of the choices you make._

_“You don’t want to add a tombstone, Yerim?” Vivi later asked as they looked out into the garden before the sun set._

_The brown patch of dirt would soon be obscured when the grass claimed its place there._

_It would be like the bat wasn’t even there._

_“I think I’ve accepted it now,” Yerim punctured with a finality a girl her age shouldn’t have._

_But it inspired Vivi to carry that energy with her if someone as close to her would leave as well. And if she lost her way, she hoped someone in this lovely castle she called her family would bring her back._

\---

What would’ve been Haseul and Vivi’s first kiss was interrupted by the supernatural.

A ghost.

Or rather it was Yeojin tripping over herself and falling face-first into the spa room. She could’ve sworn this was the kitchen as she heard Hyunjin muttering to herself - something she was doing a lot now - and going in this direction.

“Yeojin, are you alright?”

“I do not like the cone of shame.”

For the second time this week, Vivi and Haseul, this time more awake, escorted Yeojin to the infirmary (aka Vivi’s bedroom).

Haseul shot Vivi an apologetic glance as Vivi checked Yeojin’s condition and took the time to look around Vivi’s room.

It was in disarray since she last saw it. Books ripped from their shelves, drawers layered open, medical supplies strewn about.

“Hang on, I need to take this cone off to see you better.”

“So I can keep this off?” Yeojin baited.

“No.”

Haseul knew she was the reason Vivi ransacked her own room but desperate times called for desperate measures.

And seeing her wife rough handle her baby sister to put the cone back on, she was happy to see a more carefree Vivi take the place of the zombie haunting this castle this year.

Her eyes came across a letter from the Census Bureau, wondering what Vivi would need that for. It was torn apart haphazardly, showing a full report of people born in… Heejin’s birth year.

Meeting Vivi’s eyes, Haseul kept the question at the tip of her tongue.

“Yeojin, why don’t you do me a favor and get rid of this?”

Vivi slid the report off her desk and into Yeojin’s eager hands.

Her sister’s relationship with destruction, Haseul would never understand.

“Yes! Something for me to do!”

“Well we can’t have our squire sitting idle for too long,” Vivi chuckled, making sure the cone was secure.

“Actually I have an announcement to make…”

Haseul and Vivi exchanged confused looks. There was no scroll in sight for Yeojin to read off of.

(Not like she could anyways.)

“I am moving on from being a squire. I probably won’t be a musician - sorry Haseul - but I will figure it out one day,” Yeojin beat her chest proudly and went on her way.

Haseul didn’t understand what brought upon this change in Yeojin, nor did she understand the purpose of knowing everyone born in their daughter’s birth year, but as she saw Vivi tuck away the family heirloom with a resolute smile, she knew she didn’t need to understand to accept the changes in her life.

\---

_“Jinsol?”_

_Vivi wondered if one day, she’d perform such distressed acts for her family one day._

_“Yes?”_

_If there was a spell in that inherited book of hers to eradicate the worse of sicknesses from a loved one, would she use it with as much conviction that Jinsol had now?_

_“Jungeun’s not something to fix.”_

_Jinsol wondered if the day came when she found the cure if Jungeun would try it._

_“I know,” Jinsol swallowed. “I know.”_

_She loved Jungeun through it before, doing her best to understand and listen. Coddling Jungeun wasn’t an option but pretending it wasn’t happening was worse. But Jungeun was making the last option too easy._

_Every time she was home, Jungeun pretended to be a portrait perfect image._

_The one the council had in their ballroom but not the one Jinsol loved._

_“I just don’t want you to do something that’ll compromise your morals,” Vivi straightened a few knick-knacks on Jinsol’s desk._

_(Something Jungeun and her had memorized and Chaewon and Co. didn’t do a good job keeping inconspicuous when they snuck in here.)_

_Jinsol crinkled an eyebrow up._

_“Or your love.”_

_Both eyebrows._

_“I just want you to think that if Jungeun didn’t have this-this-this part of her,” Vivi would’ve used a more accurate term if one existed. “And you could get rid of it, if that means you’ll love her more, less, or just the same.”_

_Vivi used Jinsol sitting down in puzzlement as the bookend of their conversation, leaving Jinsol to her thoughts._

_Jinsol would continue her research - only from credentialed sources for Vivi’s sake - and love Jungeun from afar. When her wife was ready to tell her, Jinsol hoped she’d have some options ready for her. Not to increase the love that she possessed - as if she could love her more - but to acknowledge and show Jungeun she would stand by her in sickness and in health._

_And in both simultaneously._

\---

Jiwoo ran after Haseul and Vivi with a meat cleaver as they ran out with all the dishware to set tonight's table.

While happy for their invigorated relationship, she could sense them reclaiming their old jobs and she couldn’t help but feel territorial.

Feeling a familiar hand in the back of her trouser pockets, Jiwoo was spun around into the arms of her handsy wife.

“Are you feeling much better?” 

Jiwoo tilted her head to the side, waiting for clarification.

“This morning. In the kitchen,” Sooyoung eyed the cleaver warily.

Tossing the weapon onto the table next to them - if it was damaged they could request a new one - Jiwoo rested her hands on Sooyoung’s shoulders.

Sooyoung caught bits and pieces of Jiwoo’s pep talk towards Yeojin, remembering how Jiwoo was caught between living a life of comfort with her or carrying out her family’s legacy. When Jiwoo first moved into the Jung castle, she waited on Jungeun’s every hand and foot, putting every handmaiden in history to shame.

“Oh you’re not still hung up on that are you?” Jiwoo scratched at Sooyoung’s shirt, the softness different than the fancy clothes she first sewed together.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” Sooyoung melted under her wife’s touch.

Their little cottage made it harder to give each other space when the other was upset. This castle made it too easy but Sooyoung wanted to clear things up before bedtime.

“I was a little distraught but I’m still here,” Jiwoo grinned up at her wife.

Handmaidening wasn’t a job she was passionate about and maybe she still had dreams she could now live out.

Her own pep talk inspired her

“I’m happy you are.”

Ignoring Yeojin maniacally throwing something into the dying oven fire, this married duo pressed up against each other and shared a gentle kiss as the heat from the kitchen dwindled.

Jiwoo silently thanked Sooyoung for waiting for her to open up to her. It was a given due to their romantic connection but a constant reminder was nice.

“Where’d you learn that pocket trick?” Jiwoo thought back to how Sooyoung smoothly got into this position.

“I remembered it from a play we saw,” Sooyoung declared proudly. “The only scene I remember really.”

Their first real theatre date, just the two of them, differed in that they were more distracted by being in each other’s presence than the play itself. Also, the absence of a third-wheeling Kim princess.

“Maybe long down my lineage, we were magicians,” Sooyoung wiggled her eyebrows, rolling with the praises.

Jiwoo shook her head, knowing that no matter what species or job Sooyoung’s family hailed from, Sooyoung herself made all the right choices to find her way into her heart.

\---

_“Now what could you possibly desire sister?”_

_Vivi bowed before her elder, seeing as she didn’t have to introduce herself. Like how wolves can sniff out other wolves, witches had a similar recognition tactic._

_Unlike Vivi’s family who reformed their skills to modern medicinal practices, others became showpeople using slight of hand tricks or fortune tellers using divine intuition._

_“As you know, Princess Jungeun will be moving to the Jung kingdom to marry. And some of her staff, myself included, will be going with her.”_

_Madame Zeroni nodded, having known this already._

_“And you want to know if they’ll fall in love?”_

_“No.”_

_“If you’ll fall in love?”_

_“What? No.”_

_If there was one thing Vivi hated of her kind, it was their natural ability to be coy and provocative. _

_(Like her siblings.) _

_“If that lovesick farmer will join that other lovesick knight.”_

_“Ah so they will be reunited,” Vivi thought aloud but shook her head to keep focus. “It may seem strange but I feel scared about this transfer. I don’t know how our kind is treated there and I was wondering if you could give me some advice.”_

_Madame Zeroni gave the healer descendant her full attention. _

_“If they fear you, it’s because they don’t understand. They can’t comprehend the complexity of our kind. Our generation,” Vivi tried not to point out their age difference. “Is lucky to have broken away from our enchantments and can choose for ourselves. We aren’t the ancestors they heard about…”_

_Vivi hung onto every word, storing it for a rainy - which seemed more frequent after meeting Haseul - day._

_“But what if my current practice isn’t enough?”_

_What if I’m not enough?_

_Vivi worried that as she would be responsible for a quick conception and safe birth of the Jung heir, the challenges would only grow tenfold and her choices would be harder and harder._

_“Then I will curse them for always and eternity.”_

_Vivi’s eyes widened and Madame Zeroni waved her off, knowing the physician would not have it easy. She trusted Vivi would choose her morals over her desperation._

_An ominous howl made both reformed healers look towards the mountains. Where their predecessors fled to when the persecution was too much. They knew if worse came to it, they would find refuge there._

_But in all her years of life - like she would reveal her age - Zeroni held steadfast and resilient._

_Vivi would nonetheless do the same._

\---

No one commented on how Jungeun and Jinsol came in solemnly, faces fresh with water they splashed to hide their tear stains. 

No one commented how Sooyoung was extra chivalrous with Jiwoo this evening.

No one commented how Haseul and Vivi came in hand-in-hand, giggling at a joke they shared between their whispers.

No one commented how coned Yeojin unknowingly sat in Heejin’s usual place.

(But everyone did cast a look towards Hyunjin.)

No one commented Yerim coming in sadly alone after trying to get Chaewon out of her room. The princess had to be awake by now.

Smalltalk sparse and silverware clattering plenty - with Haseul and Vivi taking turns funneling food into Yeojin’s cone - the Jung castlehold had dinner.

Eventually, Jinsol would get a hold of the congratulatory letter commemorating her massacre.

Jungeun beside her looked like she was eating for two. The queens skipped on two meals today and no one wanted to disturb the peace yet. 

(Some of the residents had a better grasp of the real details behind the murder but none of them pointed to Jinsol.)

The gate bells ringing interrupted their inner battles and everyone but Jiwoo was surprised that Yeojin wasn’t jumping at the opportunity to greet the door knockers.

Before anyone who would take the chore, the Jung princess appeared in the doorway. 

Chaewon looked like she aged. Everyone wondered what she was thinking about, attributing her as the mastermind to the runaway stunt a few days ago. Jungeun and Jinsol held onto each other to prevent themselves from running and hugging their daughter. The rest waved politely from their seats.

“Good evening Chaewon,” someone was brave enough to ask.

“Good evening,” she replied curtly.

Having woken up midday, Chaewon would’ve come down sooner if she didn’t hear her parents having a conversation outside her bedroom doors. Leaning against it, back-to-back with her parents, she heard firsthand of her parents’ deepest regrets.

On the surface, they appeared as healthy as any married couple. Healthier than most royals put on.

“What’s in the letter, Chaewon?”

But Chaewon came to learn of how much damage they had done to themselves and from accepting the decisions built around them. Unable to escape their fate since birth, they were stuck in a cycle of generational trauma.

“More details on Jinsol’s murder?”

In her hands, she held an unopened scroll that she retrieved from the postmaster this evening. The late hour of this delivery elevated the severity behind the words on the scroll. To everyone at the table, nothing could be more pressing than Jinsol’s alleged heroism.

“Murder?! I swear, Jungeun, I never touched a soul on this mission.”

“I-I-I believe you.”

The castlehold would learn in a few seconds it was another congratulatory message but this time, towards Chaewon’s desperate decision to marry.

“I can vouch for her because she was with me the whole time. Chaewon, don’t believe it. Hyunjin help me out.”

(Hyejoo was in for a rude awakening the next morning.)

“Huh? Sorry I wasn’t paying attention.”

When Chaewon was late to dinner after a long day making village appearances, Jungeun (and when she was home, Jinsol) would stay behind and spoonfeed her precious daughter. Babying her as if she couldn't feed herself. (And when she was home, Jinsol would bob back and forth, almost knocking Chaewon off her chair, goading Jungeun to sneak her a few bites.) Sometimes, Jungeun gave in but most of the time she'd playfully roll her eyes.

“Chaewon, you believe me right?"

But one decision made that charming moment obsolete.

"My behavior hasn’t driven you away right?”

Witnessing the uproar around the dining table, Chaewon would come to learn that playing into the Council’s whims - something her parents did everything in their power to protect her from - the queen-to-be put herself and everyone in the castle into the cycle once more.

  


**NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE: Some Moon Cycle, Give or Take**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q (ourtuneisohigh): To our new readers: welcome! I hope everyone is coping with 2020 and getting the resources you need (If not, get political and (preferably) overthrow your government.) Below are petitions and resources you can donate/sign/read, including Orbits for Black Lives which has made great strides with their project to help Loona gain awareness of the BLM movement. (This list isn't conclusive.)
> 
> If you follow N on Twitter - you should - you've read that we have 8-10 chapters left. Some side characters that seemed insignificant in flashbacks are returning to tie some loose ends so I hope your memory is fresh. (Tbh, I have to reread this fic every time I write a chapter.)[Twitter](https://twitter.com/0TlSH)
> 
> N (LazyNinja): Thanks for your support of this story, things are getting more exciting for our charaters and we hope you'll let us know your thoughts here or on Twitter. As things go on in this world often out of our control we hope you can do what you can to help but also take care of your own mental health as well. Please treat others as you would like to be treated and remember to drink some water.[Twitter](https://twitter.com/_LazyNinja_) | [CC](https://curiouscat.me/_LazyNinja_)  
Please use: #FMBkingdom
> 
> [Black Lives Matter](https://blmsites.carrd.co/) | [BLM Carrd II](http://blacklivesmatteresources.carrd.co/) (Multilingual) | [Help Black Trans Folks](https://btlm.carrd.co/) | [Trans Rights' Funds](http://trans--rights.carrd.co/) | [ Community Bail Funds](http://www.communityjusticeexchange.org/nbfn-directory) (U.S.) | [ Change Petitions](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1wZ0qsOP9W9GMC3kjkFEkWAzqSK4a66Z0v4j5ptd0u8I/htmlview) | [Orbits for Black Lives](http://twitter.com/OrbitsForBLM) | [ Junk Terror Bill ](https://junkterrorbill.carrd.co/) | [ Syria, Lebanon, and Palestine ](https://helplevant.carrd.co/) | [Palestine II](https://free-palestine.carrd.co/) | [Lebanon II](https://lebanonscrisis.carrd.co/) | [Yemen II ](https://watchtodonateyemen.carrd.co/) | [Save Uighur ](https://www.saveuighur.org/)


	19. Loonatic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Format as follows:**
> 
> _Italics: Past_  
  
Straight (but really gay): Present  
****  


_A closed door policy was how every major decision was made for the royals. From when they would marry to whom they would marry to when they’d start to conceive to how often they’d conceive. But it was never behind the royals’ own closed doors. The council were the masterminds behind the royals’ private and public lives for every Kingdom in Milieu, directing them from birth to death._

_(And in some cases, how they would die.)_

_Never was such scrutiny done in the Jung castle. The two current ruling queens wanted power to belong to the people, seeing firsthand how power had turned their parents into near animatronic puppets, wielding nothing but their heads held high. Jinsol and Jungeun hoped to never become carbon copies of them. Open door policies were enforced which young Chaewon took full advantage of, barging in at whatever hour she saw fit to discuss anything and everything._

_As the years went on, their family grew further apart, and the doors became harder to open and then harder to find._

_Jinsol and Jungeun spent their energy reopening theirs but maybe they should’ve focused on their daughter first._

_After Chaewon unrolled the congratulatory announcement and read it aloud, the rest of dinner was spent in silence. Between the shocking announcement of Jinsol’s wolf slaying - which would’ve sounded just like her mother’s handiwork if not for the gruesome details - and the surprise of Chaewon’s engagement, the aura surrounding the Jung castle shifted._

_Even the footnote of the council hosting a Betrothal Fair in celebration before the Suitors Ball couldn’t liven up the dining hall._

_“I think I’ll finish in my room,” Chaewon shakily said, the non-subtle stares ruining her appetite._

_Her parents didn’t object. If she can decide she was going to be betrothed, she can decide where to eat._

_No royal in the castle had an appetite after that._

_“Good night Chaewon,” Jungeun meekly replied a few hours later on the other side of her closed door._

_“If you want to talk about it in the morning, we can,” Jinsol said, whispering something to Jungeun and escorting her to their own room._

_Chaewon knocked her chair over in a need to explain herself. She didn’t have a planned speech and didn’t think what she did necessarily warranted an apology. With how vehemently Jinsol denied the murder claims and how stressed Jungeun was in reassuring her they weren’t true, Chaewon believed she was doing the right thing. Jinsol and Jungeun pressed against her door hours ago was an indication that both of them being home would save their marriage. Chaewon was only ensuring these moments would last. She was ensuring that they were home for good._

_Tearing her door open, she watched the bottom of her mother’s dress disappear into their shared room._

_Their bedroom door was slowly shut._

\---

The carriage ride to the fair was spent in the same fashion.

The curtains to Carriage #2 - the first one transported Vivi, Haseul, Yeojin, and Jiwoo, with Hyejoo and Sooyoung driving - were drawn wide open but the silence was deafening. With Yerim driving - Hyunjin almost ran them into a ditch - she thought maybe the Jungs were speaking in a lower frequency she could pick up. One look behind her showed that no mouths were moving.

“Hyunjin, did you get left behind? I can barely hear you,” Hyejoo whispered under her breath, Sooyoung made sure the other occupants - except Jiwoo - weren’t thinking Hyejoo was losing her mind by talking to herself, nodding along as if the question was to her.

“No we’re several paces behind you,” Yerim answered for her inattentive sister. “It’s just that no one here is talking.”

It had been about a week and a half since the announcement and the Jung family still hadn’t had their much needed talk. Chaewon had unfortunately picked up on both her parents’ stubbornness and lack of communication skills.

(Haseul joked that that was what happened when two air signs made a baby.)

But how could they have a private conversation when they were bombarded with well-wishers from around the land. Everyone except three members of the castlehold opened the door hourly for gifts and deliveries, promising to send the regards to the Jungs. Queen Seohyun and Queens Krystal and Amber were wise enough not to send anything.

(Haseul and Yeojin wondered if the news reached their own parents and they’d be the next at their castle gates to offer their congratulations. “Hoped” was more accurate, really just to see them again.)

The packages quickly piled up and began collecting dust. Before they knew it, they were on their way to an open field which had been transformed to a bright carnival for this momentous occasion. A few stray knights would keep the castle and village guard and would switch with them when they arrived back later that afternoon for a well-deserved break. The other knights would be doing bag checkpoints and were positioned at all access points of the fair.

Jinsol and Chaewon begged - they switched off shifts unknowingly - Jungeun to reconsider about attending. At an event like this, the whole kingdom would arrive. But Jungeun said this event came once in a lifetime - divorces were more scandalous than affairs for royal families - and that she needed to go.

“Congratulations Princess Chaewon!”

Jungeun sighed as she looked out at the rolling fields, waving timidly at the farmers who rarely saw her. The long line of citizens seemed to stretch for miles. Jinsol and Chaewon were used to long drawn publicity and kept a good facade.

(They ignored the hushed tones of the village gossip about the queen’s out of the blue appearance. Yerim was livid at every insult her ears picked up.)

“Thank you for your service Queen Jinsol!”

For Jungeun, it had been years.

“Long live Queen Jungeun!”

(Snickers followed. Thankfully Hyunjin was preoccupied as they know she would’ve tried to put a stop to it.)

Jinsol, feeling like she didn’t do enough to prevent this, and Chaewon, feeling like this was all her fault, reached over to hold Jungeun’s hands. They flinched as their own hands brushed against each other. Chaewon squeezing one hand tightly and Jinsol kissing the other lightly, Jungeun remembered visualizing what a family day out of the castle grounds would look like.

Her wish of all three of them enjoying it would remain in her imagination.

\---

_The princess’s feet sticking out from beneath their red curtains gave away her location. Calling off the search party, the Kim kingdom queens approached the curtains stealthily._

_“Oh where oh where could our Jungeun be?” Hyelim baited._

_“I don’t know. I guess we’re going to have to eat all the ice cream by ourselves,” Yubin tag teamed._

_Jungeun threw the curtains over her head, hair messy and lip pouting._

_“There she is!”_

_Crouching down to Jungeun’s level, they each took one of her hands._

_“Are you afraid of our new visitors, Jungeun?”_

_Today, a traveling troupe had come to do a house performance in front of the queens. The plot was about a hoops star and an alchemist falling in love on New Years Eve, only to meet again at an Academy later. Judging by the way the cast needed to hydrate frequently during the musical, there was a special element about the performers. A non-human element to be exact._

_Merpeople? Sirens? Maybe from Atlantis?_

_“Are you sure you knew everything about them before you let them into our house?” Jungeun questioned._

_She was used to strangers coming in and out of the castle. She was even used to nonhumans living in the castle. Healer descendant Feifei and her daughter Vivi, who was shadowing her mother until school started, lived down the corridor._

_(The Wongs would’ve brought the whole family of five but thought it better if Qian stayed home with the boys, knowing they’d find a way to wreak havoc in the castle.)_

_“Of course! What kind of queens do you think we are?”_

_Jungeun had never met water people's descendants until now, believing they were extinct like the stories suggested. She felt enraptured by their voices and performance but fighting it off, she ran away before the second act - this one taking place at a golf course resort - could begin._

_“Jungeun, it’s okay to be afraid.”_

_Hyelim remembered calming Jungeun down when she found out their physician was a witch, saying she was one of the good ones._

_“Yeah, it’s normal for any royal. I’m scared of your mom sometimes.”_

_Now Vivi and Jungeun were good friends. They could see Vivi waiting at the doorway with a bowl of mint chocolate ice cream to calm Jungeun down._

_“But you have to remember not to show it in public.”_

\---

For the sake of the castlehold, they split into two groups upon arrival at the fairgrounds.

The first group consisted of the younger members, Hyunjin and Hyejoo being guards. The second cohort: the married ones.

(Yeojin didn’t mean to call them that, seeing how Chaewon was only a few weeks away of being part of that group as well.)

Sooyoung and Jinsol were in charge of guarding but those two, dragging Haseul along, were skipping to the nearest game booth to win the best prize for their wives. Jungeun, holding tightly onto Jiwoo and Vivi’s hands, followed while shaking their heads.

Hyunjin took up the rear as Hyejoo led the group, both of them being terrible guards as one had her mind elsewhere and the other was avoiding the most important person she was assigned to guard.

“Can you move please?” Yeojin asked the stiff ride attendant, their shimmering bracelet reflecting the sun almost blinding her. Finally released from her cone and with almost twenty menthol patches down her back, she couldn’t wait to experience what this fair had to offer. But she wanted to do so with her vision intact.

If one looked at the fair without thinking of the context, they’d find it impressive. The latest of amusement rides powered by cutting edge technology (and a dash of magic) from other lands were spread across the once empty plains. Booths selling any item they could think of - fine leather works, artisan handspun glass, toy puppet dragons, cloaks, candles, perfumes and more - lined the walk paths. The many attendants, each sporting a gold bracelet, defended their posts with discipline that rivalled the knights.

(Except Knight Hyunjin who almost tripped going up the stairs into her seat.)

As they buckled in, Hyejoo held in a scoff as a family of five congratulated Chaewon. As usual, the princess accepted it.

Hyejoo wasn’t a Jung but with the way she was avoiding Chaewon around the castle, she might as well be. The news of her engagement was the first thing she heard when she joined her parents in the kitchen for breakfast after her transformation ended.

“Stop it,” Yerim growled as the ride’s gears revved up.

Yerim had a hunch as to why Hyejoo was acting this way since figuring it out in the tunnel. But like all nonchalant wolves, her sister being the prime example, she’d wait until they admitted it aloud.

“I’m not doing anything,” Hyejoo argued in a volume too low for human ears to pick up. “I’m already sitting next to her, what else do you want me to do?”

The ride started up and the wolf and wolf descendants were unfazed as it turned them upside down.

The ride’s attendant didn’t pay mind to Yeojin’s screaming and Chaewon’s cursing. The queen-to-be was smart enough to do it in Turkish so other riders wouldn’t be scandalized.

Not like her future wedding was sordid enough.

“Try harder,” Yerim suggested.

The ride turned them sideways and knowing they were hard to spot - and more importantly, that Hyunjin had her eyes closed, too relaxed to be on a nauseating ride - Hyejoo flipped Yerim off. 

\---

_“Come in?” Jungeun asked as she heard three knocks on the door._

_Accustomed to the frequent barging in of the castle employees - except for Vivi and Sooyoung; her parents would have been getting better at it if it weren’t for their untimely death - she wondered who was polite enough to knock as she prepared for her one and only wedding._

_They had turned the castle library into her dressing room and the first thing she did upon entry was close all the curtains, wanting to shut the outside world out before she was pawned off like a commodity._

_Haseul, the court musician’s daughter and Jinsol’s closest confidante, entered with hesitation._

_“Jinsol wanted me to come check on you,” Haseul said, holding her hands up in case Jungeun doubted her._

_This being their first meeting, she had to make a good impression. They would be living together starting today. There were rumors that Jungeun was wary around other species but as a human, Haseul took precaution._

_“I’m Haseul by the way,” she extended her arm which Jungeun took shyly, not with as much vigor as she thought the royal would have. “Pleasure to meet you.”_

_“Likewise.”_

_Jungeun didn’t have a choice but to meet her. Seeing Haseul fiddling with her fingers, Jungeun took pity on her. Smalltalk seemed safe._

_“Is it your mother officiating? I heard she has a way of luring people in with her voice.”_

_“Yeah, it’s a weird habit but I assure you she’ll stick to the script this time and this wedding will fly right by,” Haseul swallowed her words, forgetting that that wasn’t something Jungeun wanted to hear._

_(Jinsol’s obscenities to her in Russian behind the door was lost on her.)_

_“Is it normal for ceremonial leaders to wear long sleeves other than in the winter time?” Jungeun asked, looking at Haseul’s outfit._

_The curtains did nothing to stop the blazing sun from seeping in. As a summer wedding, she expected everyone to be in more comfortable wear. Maybe the Jung kingdom had different norms._

_“No, this is my mother’s,” Haseul explained, rolling up her sleeves right away to appease the new queen. “She only wears long sleeves. Not that there’s anything wrong with short sleeves. Jinsol is very fond of your shoulders.”_

_(Jinsol made sure to kick the door to signal to Haseul that her time checking in on her future wife was up.)_

\---

Another loud song of praise in response to her wolf slaying made Jinsol miss the target with her water pistol, making Haseul win the game and securing the prize of a plush deer for Vivi.

Drawing a natural crowd like her mother, Haseul basked in the compliments which allowed Jinsol to take a breather. Out of fear or disgust, the citizens didn’t dare bother Jungeun who was watching their childish competition. As Haseul was declared winner, Jinsol leapt off the wooden platform and returned to her wife’s arms.

(Sooyoung was bribing the stern attendant to give her the prize with a handful of schillings. Jiwoo only watched in merriment.)

“To be fair, we don’t use pistols here,” Jinsol reasoned.

Jungeun smoothed the lapels on Jinsol’s coat, knowing she didn’t need any physical object to know Jinsol adored her.

“It’s okay,” Jungeun kissed Jinsol chastely, earning giggles from the citizens. “Chaewon has enough stuffed animals for the three of us.”

Jinsol wanted to continue the conversation but every mention of her daughter’s name was another reminder of her failure as a parent to prevent the same marriage that could’ve ruined Jungeun and her if they never found love.

Jungeun brought her in for another kiss, knowing why Jinsol was silent.

“But I bet you could’ve taken out more wolves if you did have one, right Queen Jinsol?” A passerby chortled. 

A series of “hear-hears” echoed around them.

Moving onto the next game, this one without water as they felt like those were to Haseul’s advantage, the queen-Head Knight-court musician trio began another round to win their wives’ affections. For their audience of three, nothing materialistic could replace what they felt for their wives. Who were now making a fool of themselves at the ring toss competition.

“Okay, those bottles are rigged because I should have won by now,” Sooyoung complained. “Jiwoo, please forgive me.”

For Jiwoo, she would’ve liked to enjoy this date without a crowd. Sooyoung’s adamance with winning her something she could hold onto when she was out on missions, Jiwoo knew once they were in a private setting - someone had to leave their booth sometime - she would pull Sooyoung in and give her a long kiss.

For Vivi, a belated first kiss was a preferred prize. But the hustle and bustle of the wedding kept everyone busy. But she knew that when things simmered down and people weren’t always ringing the castle gate bells, they would get it.

And it would be worth the wait.

For Jungeun, she wished for things to go back to that blissful moment of Jinsol and her in the hallway. Before their world came crashing down. Before people painted gruesome pictures of her wife committing violence. Before Chaewon decided to offer herself up as another victim to the system. 

But not before her condition reared its ugly head as she accepted that her family loved her even as she survived through it.

\---

_Pulling the black and pink curtains back, Haseul looked out into the crowd. On a platform in the middle, a long table seating one stood out. A seemingly middle-aged man, hard to tell for sure with the shadow cast from his black felt cap, sat at it, flipping through his notes as the person before Haseul belted a tune. At one corner of the table, shimmering sets of golden wristbands lay unclaimed._

_Around the back and sides of the pub, people stood around with half-filled pints, either enjoying the troupe auditions, which to them was a free concert, or hiding their distaste behind their drinks._

_In the front, round tables were set up for the most generous of patrons and knights, which also meant they were the most judgmental of hecklers. The face Haseul was looking for was missing but Head Knight Minho waving from his station in the back meant her support team had made it._

_(Vivi would have come along too if it weren’t for some of the younger members injuring themselves with piggyback jousting earlier that day.)_

_“You’re going to do great,” a voice startled her from behind._

_Haseul turned around to wag a finger at the playful Hyunjin, glad she got her out of her vengeful stupor at the castle earlier today. She wasn’t her mother, birthright or adoptive, but she could read Hyunjin easily. Like any growing teen, she needed frequent distractions to keep her mind off of pessimistic thoughts. Yerim handled it well. (Almost too well.) The death of her parents still fresh in everyone’s mind, Haseul hoped she was saving her from taking it out on innocent bystanders._

_The auditoner before Haseul rushed in with a thunderous applause, the gold band on her wrist as proof that she passed._

_“How did it g-” Haseul wanted to ask but the girl was ushered away quickly, a skinny lackey already telling the new recruit of the new rules. It was quite extensive at the rate they were speaking._

_“What do you mean by dungeon?” The new recruit asked, her smile dropping._

_“Just behave and you won’t need to know what that is.”_

_Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea._

_“Bang Haseul!” Host Jo Kwon announced._

_“Break a leg,” another auditioner, dabbing on a thick layer of makeup, whispered to Haseul._

_“I’M SORRY, WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HER?!” Hyunjin boomed, not liking the threat to one of the kindest souls in the kingdom._

_“Hyunjin please, it’s just an expression.” Haseul warned, snapping Hyunjin out of it. Pushing the riled up knight out of the backstage area, Haseul swallowed up as much air as she could and stepped onto the stage._

\---

“Told you we should have brought your funnel,” Hyejoo said as Yerim rubbed gentle circles on Yeojin’s back.

After their fifth amusement ride - royals got access to what was called a Fast Pass - the gravity defying Ring of Fire was the last straw for the youngest castlehold member.

“My scars are almost healed!” Yeojin jolted her head up but the speed of which she did it in, only made her double over even more.

“I meant to throw up in if we could cover the hole at the bottom or something,” Hyejoo trailed off.

Usually when she had a snide remark, someone would respond with a soft laughter beside her. No such sound came, which wasn’t a surprise to her. She needed to get used to it anyway. There was no guarantee the princess would remain in the castle after her wedding.

Motioning over to the attendant to bring over something in case the former squire did want to reveal the contents of her breakfast, Hyejoo struggled to get their attention. Were they in a binding contract to only do their job? Even Hyunjin and her had a side trip to a convenience shop while on their mission to wolf territory.

She turned to her partner for help.

But the vulnerable Hyunjin from the pool tunnel was gone. The seneschal that was coming to terms with her feelings had gone elsewhere. In her place was this lifeless knight staring aimlessly into the distance.

“Here, she looks like she could use it,” a gruff voice offered, a tote shoved into the middle of the semi-circle they formed around Yeojin.

Without seeing who it was, Yeojin snatched the bag from a man in a black cap and threw up copiously as Yerim held her breath next to her. It didn’t help that onlookers came to check in on Yeojin, who was doing nothing to attract this attention except reveal the contents of her breakfast.

The gross sounds were enough to get Hyunjin out of her stupor. The knight rose to her feet and shooed off the crowd forming to give Yeojin some privacy, shielding her with her body. 

“Welcome back,” Hyejoo said softly, not wanting to set off her knight partner.

Yerim looked over in appreciation at Hyejoo’s sympathy. She gave a pointed look that she should also be showing it to another member of their group. Engaged or not, they were still friends.

Speaking of.

“Wait, where is Chaewon?”

As the crowd dispersed, they realized they were a group of only four, the princess was missing.

\---

_“You requested for me,” Sooyoung bowed before her mockingly, getting a swat across her shoulder for her faux reverence._

_Jungeun and Sooyoung didn’t meet until their later teenage years, but they considered each other (late) childhood friends. They preserved the queen and knight dynamic to appease the council and the citizens._

_“I have a proposition for you Sooyoung,” Jungeun said._

_Sooyoung noticed that she wasn’t even dressed yet and the guests were arriving. The Kim kingdom knight entered Jungeun’s temporary dressing room, a half-filled library collecting dust. Jinsol and Haseul apparently went to school here but their studies were cut short._

_(Something about an altercation between Jinsol and her teacher.)_

_“I want you to take my place.”_

_“Pardon?”_

_Maybe Sooyoung blew an eardrum out with the fanfare outside._

_“Jungeun, you know no knight has ever married a royal before,” Sooyoung chewed on her bottom lip._

_Jungeun’s confidence had wavered through the years, the wolf attack months ago being the final nail in the coffin. She regained it to publicly suggest Sooyoung and Vivi walk her down the aisle rather than some randomly assigned royals from another kingdom. (The council was easily swayed by public opinion.) But this time, Jungeun was proposing fraud. _

_“Exactly. ‘Before.’ You could be the first!” Jungeun kept a calm demeanor as Sooyoung mulled over her suggestion._

_But the lax in Sooyoung’s posture and stammer in her voice shot down Jungeun’s confidence once more. Not wanting the future queen to feel useless, Sooyoung took Jungeun’s hands into hers. She pouted as she felt the shakiness in them._

_“Jungeun, I know you don’t want to marry Jinsol.”_

_“I don’t want to marry anyone right now,” Jungeun corrected._

_“But let’s think of the repercussions here. How would the council react seeing me at the altar in your place? They’d have my head.”_

_Both shivered at the thought._

_“And while I know it is my duty to serve you, I also have a duty to my heart.”_

_“Right!” Jungeun slapped a palm over her head. “Jiwoo. How could I forget?”_

_As impulsive as she was, she had to remember more people would be affected than her. Queens had to be selfless no matter what. It’s what was expected. Her duty was towards the people, not her heart._

_She smiled at Sooyoung’s face lighting up at the mention of her current lover._

_“Get going then,” Jungeun commanded. Less confident than when she suggested switching places an hour before the wedding but her conviction was there somewhere._

_Sooyoung knew she just needed to find it again. No more hiding._

_“Jiwoo is due to arrive any minute now. You should be the first face she sees.”_

_“Right,” Sooyoung stood up slowly, not wanting to leave Jungeun alone with her thoughts._

_What if she got another outrageous idea and actually executed it?_

_It was imperative that Jungeun remain hidden while she was vulnerable like this. That was her role._

_Sooyoung were glad the curtains were closed as the guests mingled in the garden outside. They’d want a glimpse of who would be their new representative. Sooyoung remembered her place as well as she had a duty to serve the soon-to-be - in forty-five minutes to be exact - queen._

\---

Vibrant loud booths as far as the eye can see.

As this festival was a last-minute attempt to boost morale throughout the kingdoms, there was no real coherent theme. Any vendor, gamemaker, entertainer, and shopkeeper was permitted to snag a stall and did their best to increase business and influence at this event. Some booths were wedding-inspired, selling veils, couple items, and new clothes for the upcoming event. Others were randomized: umbrellas, camping chairs, shopping bags, handkerchiefs, and diffusers.

Chaewon lowered her beret, hoping her faded dyed hair would keep her anonymity as she traversed the fair alone.

The fair in honor of her.

Whiffing the freedom in the air, Chaewon forgot what it was like to travel alone. She only planned to take a quick tour of the campgrounds before making her way back to her guards. Not like they were paying attention to her anyway. One’s mind was eons away and the other did everything not to look at her.

(Hyejoo avoiding her hurt more than Hyunjin.)

Her runaway trip with Yeojin left much to be desired and feeling the wind rush through her hair and having control of her own schedule made Chaewon wish life could be like that.

But she would willingly give it up for her parents.

Her parents who were having closed door conversations without her. In the past few days, their bedroom door didn’t just remain closed, but locked. Each time she’d scurry by, she’d hear them pause their conversation, preventing her from taking part in what she granted them.

At least she was doing something. Chaewon would never demean her parents but in her eyes, she was taking the step they were too scared to take.

Much like some of these fair attendants who barely moved from their assigned spots. Wondering where she could purchase matching jewelry - as every one of these workers had a matching bracelet - to make up for her reckless mother losing half of a couple-ring set a couple months ago, Chaewon approached one of them.

But none of them would entertain her question.

How odd.

Chaewon turned a corner and saw a simplistic clean and crisp booth. Its white, undecorated tent flaps and lack of cohesion in its inventory was questionable. Chaewon understood people needed to pick up multiple trades to survive sometimes. The booth didn’t even have a sign to showcase its brand. One side had racks of simple, yet beautifully tasteful clothes, the other side had a cooler of colorful desserts. The middle had a table of novels, stacked high. Two empty chairs behind it left the tent open to thieves but the blandness of the stall made it a less desirable target.

Castlehold thieves Yeojin and Hyunjin would’ve skipped it surely.

But Chaewon took the blessing, needing to get away from the sensory overload. Running her fingers through the rack of hand-sewn blouses, she took a look at the paper tags wrapped around the sleeves to see the designer name.

Her eyes furrowed at the familiar “J” and the golden star that followed.

She’d seen that penmanship before.

_My wife and I would ask that you reconsider your stance on marriages of conveniences._

Rushing to the book stand, Chaewon flipped through the cover pages haphazardly, eyes zeroing in on the book's dedication in disbelief.

_To my dearest daughter, please find it in your heart to forgive me._

“Oh hello, sorry if you’ve been waiting long.”

“It’s her fault. She got scared of some cucumbers,” a second voice chuckled.

“ANYWAY! Please take your time and let us know if you have any questions,” an unfamiliar voice called out from behind her.

Chaewon felt her heart expand, hearing voices she never thought she’d get to experience. Last she’d heard of them, they deserted her mother. The youngest Jung royal turned around and met the eyes of the oldest living Jung royals.

Former queens Jessica and Hyoyeon.

\---

_“Hyoyeon, I found her,” Jessica motioned into the throne room._

_Jinsol’s feet stuck out beneath their blue curtains, blonde hair reflected in the window behind her._

_The Jung queens shared a long look, before they raced to their daughter, dragging the other one backwards violently. They both wanted to console her, knowing Jinsol spent hours mulling over what-ifs and maybes. Her new subject: marriage._

_Jinsol heard the scuffle. In a few months, that could be her life. That is, if the Kim princess could look her way for more than three seconds._

_“Sweetheart, we know you’re upset,” Hyoyeon ruffled the curtains softly._

_“Honestly, the Kim princess is not all the kingdom says she is,” Jessica nearly broke the curtain rod with her shaking._

_The Jungs weren’t in love but they perfected the good-knight-bad-knight cheer-up routine._

_Jinsol poked her head out to see mothers were standing close to her but far from each other._

_Her bride-to-be left an hour ago, their first meeting disastrous. Happy marriages were nearly impossible for a royal but Jinsol had expected some sort of camaraderie with her assigned bride. But Jungeun offered one-word answers and sprinted to the carriage as soon as time was up._

_Jungeun’s guard Sooyoung gave an apologetic bow._

_“She doesn’t like me,” Jinsol murmured._

_“Told you not to get your hopes up,” Hyoyeon said._

_“Hyo, stop, she’s in pain,” Jessica glared._

_“What? You called her future wife a fraud a few seconds ago.”_

_Whereas Haseul’s parents were sickeningly sweet, Jinsol’s were civil on good days. Jinsol wasn’t sure which set-up she wanted when Jungeun and her were bound._

_“Just let her breathe.”_

_Jinsol was used to blocking her mothers’ spats out. She learned the hard way that they weren’t in love. Their acting furthered the knife in Jinsol’s back after being fed fables of true love and romantic courtships. Due to this, she built up a fantasy that the council knew what they were doing and paired her up with the perfect partner._

_“I don’t know how she’s supposed to breathe in those dusty curtains I told you to clean months ago.”_

_"We have people for that, why should I do it?"_

_But catching her mothers in multiple affairs outside their marriage - all due to being in the wrong place at the wrong time - Jinsol felt betrayed. Their marriage was a facade and Jinsol bought it like every citizen did._

_Would she be trapped in her own marriage as well?_

\---

One simply doesn’t do a fair right unless they ate a mountain of fair food.

Haseul’s corn dog was drenched in ketchup. Vivi made sure to hide the tomato ketchup packets in her purse for souvenirs while she dug into a banana split. Sooyoung was searching for her funnel cake underneath an overload of toppings. Jinsol was only eating the breading, her favorite part, around her skewer.

Jiwoo and Jungeun were sneaking back into the spicy rice cake tent for another plate of free samples with new anagrams of their names.

Jinsol worried of Jungeun leaving her side but Sooyoung reassured her that they were in the center of the fair and if anyone tried anything with so many witnesses, they’d be caught and tried within seconds. There were guards all over the fair as well. Plus it was Jiwoo who saved Jungeun all those years ago, she was in safe hands.

“Hey Sooyoung, remember that talk we had by the fireplace?” Jinsol coughed out.

Vivi and Haseul had the decency to “check out” the other attractions, sensing the queen and Head Knight wanted their privacy.

(Or as much privacy one can get here.)

Sooyoung nodded, noting what direction the two went in her peripherals. She could see Jiwoo picking a fight with a vendor who was shooing them away.

“I know that you said honesty is important in a family and Jungeun and I are trying…” Jinsol bit her lip as she tried to formulate her thoughts.

“And I think you two are doing very well from what we’ve seen,” Sooyoung encouraged.

“Thank you...It’s just…” Jinsol blew out a long breath. “I always knew Jungeun was keeping secrets from me. That’s how we were raised and we tried so hard not to instill those same beliefs onto Chaewon. We wanted her to be open and honest with us but things happened…”

A lot of things to be exact.

“...And now I feel like I failed as a parent because Chaewon ended up becoming like us.”

They remembered all eyes on Yeojin - or her cone - when Chaewon took her dinner upstairs but Yeojin swore that Chaewon didn’t inform her of the decision she made with the council. Chaewon kept it a secret from everyone until that night.

Sooyoung wondered if Hyejoo would become more like Jiwoo or her. (She hoped the former.) But sometimes, she’d see her stubbornness and need to protect expressed in Hyejoo’s decisions. While it terrified her as sometimes it’d get her into unpleasant situations like bar fights and arguments with her parents and other knights, Hyejoo was at least aware.

Chaewon running away from home was a classic Jungeun move.

Chaewon taking the entire Jung legacy into her own hands was a Jung kingdom staple.

“Maybe Chaewon knows that already and she wants to change it. You two, sorry you three, need to talk about it.”

Perhaps Chaewon knew what she was doing. But they would never know unless they talked about it.

“I know,” Jinsol fiddled with her wedding ring. “I know.”

\---

_Heavy applause drowned in her ear as Haseul sucked in the stale pub air. Minho rose his beer and Hyunjin, her apple juice, to commemorate a successful audition._

_“What did you say your name was?”_

_Turning their attention away from Haseul, the crowd looked at the man whose opinion mattered the most. It was his audition after all._

_His choice if Haseul would be walking off with a gold bracelet strapped tightly around her wrist or be singing scales in the Jung castle? Thinking of being away from her family for a few months out of the year was frightening but luckily no one’s face in the audience made her second-guess her decision._

_(Vivi also knew Haseul would be self-conscious with her presence so the kids’ minor injuries were a blessing in disguise.)_

_“Haseul of Jung castle,” she squinted under the massive chandeliers._

_It was a simple “yes” or “no” and she could hear the other auditionees clumping around the curtains to wonder what was taking so long._

_He wasn’t even going to ask what song she sang. It was a ballad that only a few court musicians heard. When singing could only be experienced live, the gift of classics had to be passed down generation to generation. Haseul and Yeojin were lucky their parents had an expansive repertoire. Some selections didn’t even exist on sheet music. Their mother sang tunes the Jung queens had never heard of before._

_“Your parents are the Jung court musicians correct?” the man in the black cap flipped through his files._

_Haseul was too confused to not notice Hyunjin getting up from her chair, wondering who was making their beloved teacher feel small in front of everyone._

_“Where are they now?”_

_“I-I don’t know. They’re on tour to boost morale.”_

_His scoff echoed in the dead silent room._

_Haseul bit her tongue. These auditions he was throwing were nothing but a distraction as well. Entertainment was always the perfect replacement for large-scale trauma. If not to distract then to cope._

_“And you’re here to live out their legacy, I presume?”_

_ “O-o-of course.”_

_"Are you sure about that?" _

_His crooked smile shone brighter than the lights around them. Haseul felt herself wanting to look away. What did he know about her parents that she didn’t know?_

\---

Looking for the most important figure in the kingdom without alarming people was one of the hardest missions Hyunjin and Hyejoo would go on. They asked the carnival aides for hints, feeling like they wouldn’t cause a scene that would ruin the whole mood, but they shook their heads and turned down joining the search. Like they were afraid to leave their post.

Yeojin’s funnel could’ve been effective here as well as a way to amplify their voice.

“Aunt Jinsol is going to kill me,” Hyunjin grumbled, adjusting Yerim on her shoulders.

In order to widen their field of view, the two knights carried the other two members of their search party. Yerim immediately leapt onto her sister’s back, climbing up her shoulders with grace and poise. Yeojin kicked Hyejoo in the head twice with her attempt.

“If there’s someone she’d kill, it’d be me. You’re her favorite,” Hyejoo shot back.

She was the resident pessimist of the group but Hyunjin was taking the spot away from her. At least she was aware of it. She wouldn’t tell Hyunjin - unless she needed it - but her downward spiral was starting to worry her, as well as everyone in the castle.

“Please I’m no one’s favorite.”

Yerim and Hyejoo would’ve looked at each other if Yeojin thighs weren’t in the way.

Ignoring the drama around her, Yeojin was doing a noble job in getting people to entertain her questions. While Hyejoo balancing the girl better than any father could do a toddler was a feat, Yeojin had an aura to her that attracted people.

“You could be a carriage salesperson, Yeojin,” Yerim changed the subject.

Yeojin’s quest for a new career was maybe the second-hardest mission in the castle at the moment. Especially since she had interests galore.

“Those people who come running out to you the second you step onto their carriage lot?” Hyejoo played along.

For Hyejoo, she’d say figuring out Chaewon’s intentions might be the second-hardest mission.

“How much do they get paid?” Yeojin joined in. “And do they get benefits?”

For Hyunjin, she was starting to wonder why Chaewon was getting a search and rescue mission but none was ever done for Heejin.

\---

_Jungeun might as well install a turnstile with how frequent people were coming into her dressing room. Hair people, makeup people, hair people again to make sure her makeup matched her hair, all kind but strangers. She was about to lose it when the door opened again but her eyes softened at a familiar Kim kingdom face._

_Her first friend._

_She had never seen the physician so flushed before._

_“Have you seen the court musician’s daughter?” Vivi gaped, taking one last look into the hallways before closing the door._

_“Haseul?” Jungeun recalled, remembering the only (original) Jung castle resident checking in on her._

_Vivi nodded, trying to regulate her temperature. Maybe Haseul was a descendant of a nonhuman faction. No one had this effect on her until now. While Vivi pushed her for answers, and to get a better picture of Jungeun’s new wife, Haseul willingly answered all of her questions with a warm smile._

_(Vivi wondered why it was so hard to leave Haseul’s presence but she’d write about that in her diary tonight.)_

_“Yes, her,” Vivi tried to say nonchalantly, glad Jungeun was mulling over something to notice her strange demeanor._

_Pulling up a chair behind Jungeun, Vivi loosened a few threads on her bodice. The loud breath echoed in the room made them both feel relaxed._

_“What did you find out?” The queen-to-be whispered._

_“Nothing much. The Head Knight’s kid is freakishly strong…”_

_Vivi recalled young Hyunjin carrying more fold out chairs to the gardens, where the ceremony would take place, than the squires._

_“Haseul and Jinsol grew up together…”_

_If Jungeun wasn’t so nervous about the wedding, she would’ve noticed the lift in Vivi’s voice at the mention of the court musician’s prodigy._

_“And there’s more to why they rushed your wedding…” Vivi loosened a couple more strands before she broke the news. “As you know Jungeun, Jinsol was already chosen as your projected partner and both of you couldn’t marry unless both of your parents relinquished the thrones.”_

_Jungeun’s parents died at the hands of the wolves exacting revenge for humiliating them during Jungeun’s failed capture. She never wondered about Jinsol’s origin story to the throne._

_“Her parents didn’t die. They abandoned her. It’s all Haseul could say…”_

_Jungeun’s breath hitched, Vivi’s voice muting in the background._

_Why would Jinsol hide that from her in all her visits to woo her?_

_Jungeun fought her pity, knowing that Jinsol was a born-and-bred royal. Keeping things from each other was their specialty. She had to get used to it._

\---

“I would like to talk to the architect of this fair…”

Jungeun groaned louder as she pulled Jinsol off her pedestal: the small platform people stood on waiting for the steel ride. Her wife can exact revenge later, right now her duty was to make sure Jungeun kept all her free samples inside her stomach.

The older Jung castle group didn’t wait long enough after lunch before boarding the ride and were in various states of nausea around the back of the ride to maintain their regal image. While Jiwoo cradled a flushed Sooyoung’s head, Jungeun was doubled over in Jinsol’s arms.

Jungeun was sick to her stomach early this morning due to their bumpy carriage ride. But this felt like her organs were kicking each other.

“Excuse me,” Jinsol flagged down the ride attendant. “Hello?”

“Can I help you, Your Majesty?”

Jungeun forgot that Jinsol was also addressed that way. Each of them (unevenly) splitting out their duties inside and outside the castle walls meant they were never addressed together. Jungeun heard petitions and grievances from the comfort of her own throne. Jinsol met her constituents face to face.

“May you fetch Jungeun something please…”

Vivi’s medic bag was left in the carriage.

Jungeun adored that Jinsol never forgot she was her own person. The only time she addressed her as a queen was for giggles or when she was caught hiding gifts for her family members around the castle.

“I would love to but I can’t leave my station.”

Everyone - Sooyoung needed the help of Jiwoo to do so - looked over to the front of the gears and saw no line or riders. When Sooyoung served the royals, she always had “emergency” side quests. Even Jinsol had a stopover for a snack break or to meet an old ally.

“I admire your discipline but we can watch the ride while you go-”

“I really can’t,” the attendant grabbed at their shining wrist, wringing it in discomfort.

Jinsol caught a glimmer of a very familiar jewelry item. One that Haseul and her found around the castle when they gallivanted as children.

Jungeun reached Jinsol’s arm weakly. She could tell Jinsol was in disbelief. If she wouldn’t help her as a queen, at least help her as a person.

“Who is your boss?”

Jinsol could complain about the dizzying ride and how selfish the staff was. Two wolves, one stone.

“We are not to refer to him by name.”

Their cold, monotonous words made each of the married couples get closer to each other. They looked human so why did they sound so devoid of life?

“But our leader wears a black cap.”

Haseul’s eyes widened.

\---

_Haseul was caught between defending her parents’ legacy and the possible betrayal of her entire family tree being a lie. It was common knowledge that most troupe members weren’t completely human but those who trained well were able to blend in with the talent of the magical folk. Banshees birthed heavy metal, trolls created rock music, and sirens used their alluring voices to create ballads. Sometimes they’d band together under a troupe leader who would help them achieve their dreams._

_A troupe leader like this man in the black cap spouting lie after lie about Haseul’s family._

_Haseul often provided a shoulder for Jinsol when she found out about the secrets her mothers hid from her. Now it felt like the court musician and queen had more in common than just sharing a residence._

_“Your mother was insolent, breaking her contract and leaving me one troupe member short just to run off with your oafish father...”_

_Yeojin and Haseul grew up listening to tales about sirens but never would they have thought that their mother was speaking from personal experience. Or maybe she was a descendant and those were tales she heard._

_“So I had to make sure she would pay for her insubordination...”_

_Those wristbands that Haseul once coveted matched scars on her mother's wrists that she remembered tracing as a child._

_“Yet it's obvious that my curse didn't work the way I had intended...”_

_Scars her mother conveniently hid with long sleeves._

_“Yet here you are. Showing up to become part of something just like your mother did years ago…”_

_Haseul would be too ill to confront her parents about this night. She wouldn’t lie to Yeojin but she wouldn’t give her a false narrative either. One part of the bedtime story that Minzy conveniently left out - or maybe she didn’t know which was how Vivi would console Haseul later when wondering if he was telling the truth - was how cursing a mythical kin didn’t have the regular effects as cursing a human. _

_So when the troupe leader enacted his revenge with a deadly drowning curse at the age of eighteen on Minzy's firstborn, the water in Haseul's veins was thicker than her blood and absorbed the hex, transforming it into a weather curse that she would live with for the rest of her life._

_"Call it fate. You can join my troupe to pay off the rest of your mother's contract." The man offered, extending his hand. "What do you say?" _

_Haseul felt her throat close up as her mind raced with all of this new information. All this time she held hope that the rain that seemed to follow her was truly a coincidence but no, she really was cursed. Cursed for something her parents did. And now the one who did the deed to her was trying to coerce her into another stale dead end. _

_"Maybe even when the contract is over I could remove that curse on you," Haseul’s eyes widened at his words, "Or make something worse happen if you refuse my kind offer." _

_Chills ran down her spine at the threat, as his outstretched hand began to glow with an ominous aura._

\---

A “Will Be Back” sign hung outside the practically empty carnival stall as its owners and lone customer sat in silence inside the closed tent doors. Chaewon sat on a cleared off table while her two grandmothers - what a foreign word for her to think - sat in chairs before her.

Elevation and status wise, also beneath her.

“I would say ‘you look so big now’ but I don’t have a memory to go off of,” one of Chaewon’s grandmothers lightened up the mood but with no reward.

Chaewon couldn’t even tell where her mother’s signature blonde locks came from as both of her grandmothers had dyed their hair to conform to the society they have been hiding in for years. Their faces were sunken, sunkissed, and weary yet still held a youthful regal beauty. Rumours of royals ageing very well looked to be proven for fact. From their store’s inventory, Chaewon could guess they had dabbled in multiple trades to make ends meet.

But she didn’t want to guess anyone’s intentions anymore. She just wanted to know. 

The book Jinsol had shoved into the back of her office shelves matched the binding and signature of the books for sale. Chaewon wondered who the writer was and what kind of stories she told. Why wonder when she could ask. But her voice was failing her.

“Why?” was all the young Jung could utter.

Why they left. Why they never bothered to return. Or write. Or give some sign that they were alive and well.

It was deja vu to her reunion with Hyejoo. How fitting that Hyejoo had to ignore her for her grandparents to make their comeback.

“Why what, dear?”

Chaewon couldn’t fight the rise in her chest at being called that from a voice she was missing for years.

Jessica looked over to Hyoyeon, a look only couples married for years could decipher, to take it easy on the young girl. Were they in love like her mothers or was their arranged marriage met with reluctance? The wordless communication wasn’t reserved for loving couples. 

Chaewon remembered when Hyejoo and her could communicate the same way but now the girl had barely looked her way since her return trip from…

“The council,” one of her grandmothers offered, hoping it was the right answer.

“Pardon?”

“The council is the reason we have never met until now.”

\---

_Jungeun was a few seconds from requesting nails and wooden boards. Her last visitor, one of the members of the council, had come to ensure she hadn’t run away and left a decoy in her place._

_(Jungeun didn’t want to think of what could’ve happened to Sooyoung if they indeed found her trying to dupe the council.)_

_But a flurry of crimson new threads introduced Jiwoo and Heejin coming to pay the bride-to-be a surprise visit. Giggling and caught in a game of tag, Jungeun pretended to share their joy as Heejin hid behind Jungeun, knowing no one would tackle a royal to tag her._

_But Jiwoo and Jungeun had surpassed their forced class boundaries and the farmer took all three of them down to get to the young chef-or-stable person-to-be._

_If Jungeun cared about this wedding, she would’ve grimaced at her dress collecting dust._

_(The Jung floors were spotless as Jinsol may have stress cleaned before Jungeun’s arrival.)_

_“You’re going to be a queen soon, Aunt Jungeun!” Heejin smiled even under the weight of two adults on her._

_“That she is,” Jiwoo kept the positive attitude for Heejin’s sake._

_Picking them both up with ease, Heejin situated herself into her favorite princess’ lap as Jiwoo did her best to fix Jungeun up before she walked down the aisle._

_“I made a new friend today!"_

_“Did you?” _

_“Uh huh! Her name is Hyunjin and she’s going to give me a tour of the castle later.”_

_Heejin boasted about her new friend as Jiwoo loosened up the too-tight ponytail atop Jungeun’s head. Jungeun couldn’t be more grateful for Heejin distracting her before she gave herself up. She also couldn’t be more grateful for Jiwoo making her look presentable as inside she felt herself falling apart._

_Why didn’t Jinsol tell her her parents left?_

_“Woah, are you giving me another steel ride Auntie?”_

_Jiwoo stopped her ministrations as Jungeun started shaking beneath her touches. Heejin didn’t really know that Jungeun wasn’t shaking for her entertainment but it was how the monarch kept the attacks hidden. _

_A fair ride sounded more palatable than a mental breakdown._

_“Do you need to wear this veil, Jungeun?” Jiwoo distracted, kissing Jungeun’s shoulder to show her support. “It covers your beautiful face.”_

_“It’s tradition,” Jungeun was able to muster, keeping her breathing in check._

_“When you’re queen, maybe you can change that.”_

\---

Yeojin was drawing too much attention.

It wasn’t so much that she resembled an overgrown child sitting atop Hyejoo’s shoulders but her natural way of magnetizing everyone in her midst wasn’t doing her any favors.

“Yeojin, can you stop? We’re trying to be inconspicuous,” Hyejoo warned.

Hyunjin’s frown lines deepening at every corner they turned was starting to worry the rookie knight. She was angry for Chaewon going rogue as well but Hyunjin looked murderous. Yerim had to duck multiple times to dodge streamers and large signs due to Hyunjin’s violent maneuvering.

“I’m not even doing anything,” Yeojin seethed. While the attention was ego boosting, it made it difficult to swim through the crowds unnoticed.

“I think this is the only way we can tell Auntie Haseul and you are related,” Yerim remedied. “Both of you are natural attention getters. Remember when we used to host events at the castle? Remember the crowds Haseul and your parents gathered?”

Their last party was Chaewon’s 18th and before that, Chaewon’s 17th. Jinsol respected Jungeun’s aversion to large functions and both queens celebrated their birthdays privately.

“Well maybe Chaewon is immune to it as we should’ve found her by now,” Hyejoo grumbled.

Yerim swallowed at Hyejoo’s tone.

The next event they would be able to test the theory of Haseul’s intrinsic charm would be Chaewon’s suitors ball and she didn't think Hyejoo would like it if she brought that up.

She could only handle one crabby knight at a time.

\---

_Jungeun was on autopilot as the library door was knocked for the umpteenth time today. She had been pricked and prodded to look the part tonight. Jiwoo, Sooyoung, and Vivi were gracious to undo their work so Jungeun could at least breathe in her satin gown._

_No matter how she looked, she’d be married regardless._

_Or maybe Jinsol would surprise her and wouldn’t show up at her own wedding._

_(She couldn’t put a finger on why that thought troubled her more than relieved her.)_

_It looked like Jinsol would be her last visitor before she became a Jung. Her wife-to-be respectfully kept her distance and covered her eyes as she stood against the door she closed to grant them their privacy._

_Jungeun was a little tickled of Jinsol adhering to the “can’t see the bride before the wedding” tradition when she’d broken so many rules to get to where they are._

_“Do you prefer having your curtains drawn?” The sole Jung queen pointed at the midnight blue drapes streaming in the afternoon sun._

_As the guests were arriving, Jungeun heard a cluster of voices outside and did like her parents do: shy themselves away from the world. (Jinsol made sure to wall off the area surrounding Jungeun’s “dressing room.”)_

_Jungeun was not willing for her first impression for the Jung citizens to be her having a panic attack. Toddlers like Heejin might be able to buy her “steel ride” story but she knows the adults wouldn't._

_“I’m used to them being closed.”_

_“Me too.”_

_Jinsol shut her mouth comically missing how Jungeun shot her head up to look at her. Was that not the right thing to say?_

_But for Jungeun, she saw Jinsol in a new light. She too must’ve been mourning her mothers in another way. Maybe not for their death but they would definitely not return. A royal out of the picture for too long would nonetheless be erased in history._

_(What she hoped would happen to her if those wolves didn’t find Jiwoo and her so fast.)_

_Maybe Jinsol’s parents gave her similar advice about sheltering herself when emotions were high. Maybe Jungeun would never see Jinsol cry. She could count on two hands how many times she saw her mothers shed tears._

_“There’s this new invention from the dessert kingdoms: blackout curtains. Doctor Wong told me how darkness helps sometimes.”_

_Jungeun wasn’t sure if she was happy Vivi disclosed that information to her fiance or not. Whenever Jinsol visited, Jungeun made sure Jinsol was floors away when she felt herself spiraling._

_“Does it?”_

_“Does it ‘what?’”_

_“Help?”_

_If Vivi shared her research with Jinsol, why would she need Jungeun’s opinion? Why did her heart flutter that Jinsol was asking for it?_

_“Sometimes.”_

_“Okay, good to know,” Jinsol bowed her way out, blindly bumping into the door frame_

_A delivery carriage of blackout curtains for Jungeun’s personal bedroom would arrive next week._

\---

Maybe this reunion was a mistake. Knowing the reasons why her grandmothers up and left were eye opening but it didn’t sit easy with the young princess who found herself in a similar boat.

“You were banished?”

She had heard of common citizens being banished for heresy or hiding family history they never declared. But someone of royal blood being thrown out was unheard of.

“We did try to contact your mother at first. But the post office is run by the council and if they got an inkling the letter was from us, it was ripped to shreds or burned.”

Jessica fell deeper into Hyoyeon’s arms, a familiarity she had to get used to for years of surviving, just the two of them.

Chaewon wondered how deep their love was for each other.

And if she’d find it years into her own marriage.

“Sica even tried hiding a message in a book.”

Chaewon kept her lips sealed about the whereabouts of said book.

“What...um...why did you get exiled?”

The two brunettes met eyes. It was ironic that they were explaining themselves at a fair to celebrate their granddaughter’s upcoming wedding.

“We were hoping for the best with Jinsol’s marriage. Hyo and I watched her fall apart after Jungeun ran away. So we petitioned an abolishment of arranged marriages and,” Jessica choked up, remembering the brutal last moments in the castle.

Jinsol was safe and sound - as safe as she could be - in the Kim kingdom. Little did they know, it was to help win over the Kim princess’ heart who they believed was a lost cause.

“The petition was enough to brand us as renegades. We had twenty minutes to vacate the castle,” Hyoyeon finished for her wife.

The two Jungs weren’t a perfect match as Jinsol and Jungeun. They didn’t blossom into a romantic coupling but they found mutual respect and purpose with one another. Moving ramshackle to ramshackle, they found a perfect home not far from a stream. They lived for almost a decade in that little cottage until a wolf attack.

By the time they reconvened at their cottage, a family of three, two mothers and a young girl, took over and the ex-queens moved on and found a better life, leaving Milieu all together.

They hoped young Chaewon would be able to find the conviction to do the same.

But remembering where they were and for what occasion, all three Jungs realized that too was a lost cause.

\---

_Minzy winced as she drew the curtains open in the reading room to welcome the new day. She was awoken by hooves and squeaky wheels and joined the staff in making the castle presentable for their impromptu guests._

_The council marched their way straight to the throne room where Jessica and Hyoyeon were waiting._

_It was a blessing Jinsol had ridden out to the Kim kingdom earlier that morning for a special package she wanted to deliver personally. The postal service was a well run machine but Jinsol, like the strange princess she was, wanted to take things into her own hands._

_Minzy didn’t expect to see the queens running down the hallway, Hyoyeon chasing after Jessica._

_Just another fight._

_The court musician didn’t think to find Hyoyeon cradling Jessica at the end of the hallway, conveniently where the curtains were still drawn to keep this moment private._

_“Your Majesties…”_

_“It’s okay Minzy, no one can hear us here.”_

_It was odd to hear them speak in small voices. Minzy was straining to hear them._

_“When you see Jinsol, tell her we are sorry.”_

_Before Minzy could ask for context, the two queens straightened themselves up like professionals and walked over. She realized her long sleeves were rolled up to perform her chores and were showing her ghastly scars were visible._

_A story she owed her daughters when they were ready. Much like the queens owed Jinsol._

_“We shouldn’t hide anymore.”_

_Any three of them could have said this as it held true for all of them._

_“We royals aren’t good at communicating.”_

_“Neither are us sirens.”_

\---

After hearing of who was in charge of the carnival, their first instinct was to run. Their second and probably better instinct was to find the kids first and then run.

“I thought he was banished.”

Jinsol and Jungeun remembered his trial like yesterday. After cursing out Haseul - literally - and causing a scene on their lands, they asked for his immediate removal from the entertainment field and incarceration or exile from the land.

The citizens rejoiced in his exile and then went home.

If only Jinsol and Jungeun knew the council simply took him under their wing and punished him as they saw fit. Appointing him as the council’s official event planner chair of entertainment was their solution apparently. Hardly the punishment a sorcerer like him deserved.

Sooyoung led the way, shoving people to the side with Jiwoo immediately apologizing on her behalf, to get them to a less crowded space.

Jinsol and Jungeun held each other steady as they followed after. 

Trailing behind, Vivi had Haseul’s full weight on her as she supported her through the throngs of people.

Haseul had sat with Jungeun throughout many of her episodes and had learned to control her breathing. As a siren - who knows how many generations back - air wasn’t completely necessary. But it felt like in this open space, there wasn’t enough to fill her lungs.

Haseul felt like the curse finally hit her mark today as she felt herself going under.

\---

_Hyunjin forgot how much of a lovely singer Haseul was until tonight._

_All eyes were on her as she belted her last note._

_(As they should.)_

_Haseul’s amazing performance had taken her out of her despair and for a moment, she forgot her parents were dead._

_The auditioner turned into an executioner in a matter of seconds as he disparaged Haseul’s entire family and homelife in front of the bargoers. Every word that left his mouth brought her back to a place she was trying to avoid._

_The young knight knew Haseul only brought her as a distraction. _

_And it almost worked._

_Hyunjin didn’t get to witness any of Jungeun’s attacks growing up. She heard they were a thing of the past for years. But while she was away at knight school, they had come back with a vengeance._

_So she didn’t know how to steal herself to keep calm._

_Her parents always taught her to keep her composure. She was a wolf descendant after all._

_But her parents were gone so no one was there to keep her in check. One look at Haseul and Hyunjin saw she was visibly trembling on the stage._

_“Showing up here to become part of something just like your mother did years ago…”_

_Her parents were right to reveal her animalistic origin but they were wrong in teaching her to suppress it. Keeping calm meant that people like this troupe leader could spout out nonsense and get away with it. Hiding it meant letting the people who wanted to hurt her, hurt her family, win._

_“Or make something worse happen if you refuse my kind offer." _

_Turning the table over, the pitcher of beer the knights had just ordered splashed all over the stage. But Hyunjin rather alcohol stained Haseul’s clothes than this man’s insulting threats tarnished her soul._

_Letting out a roar like no other, Hyunjin lunged at him._

\---

“Does this mean I’m doing the right thing?”

Chaewon felt her eyes swell up but didn’t want to cry in front of complete strangers.Closing her eyes, the princess swallowed a deep breath. She opened her eyes to see her grandmothers closer than they’ve ever been.

More than physically as well.

“Don’t hide your feelings anymore. It’s not good for you,” Hyoyeon wagged her finger. She had dreams of doing this to her grandchild one day and would not let this opportunity her way.

“She’s right,” Jessica huffed with a pointed look her wife’s way

Hyoyeon smiled triumphantly and basked in the rare moment of glory.

“My moms say the same thing,” Chaewon rolled her eyes but with a grin on her face.

The two former queens parsed each word in their head. Jinsol and Jungeun were still together. While they had some choice words for their own flesh and blood for letting their child run amok-

(Don’t let them know of Chaewon running away twice in the last month.)

-they were proud that Jinsol had figured out a way to love Jungeun in a way that wouldn’t hurt her. And that love was reciprocated, judging by the look on Chaewon’s face.

“And you should do the right thing for you, Chaewon. Not for anyone else.”

“Queens don’t do that. I hear it all the time,” Chaewon refuted.

“Well, you’re not a queen yet, are you?”

“N-no? Not yet.”

“You know what you deserve?” Hyoyeon piped up.

The Jungs were back to their usual dynamic of Jessica rolling her eyes and Hyoyeon digging through their unorganized suitcases for her latest trade item. A pair of antiquated earmuffs were taken out. Something Chaewon’s mothers would’ve worn as teens as they were an older model. They silently handed it over to their granddaughter.

(The item was meant for another Jung who had lost an identical pair years ago. They were sure it would find her way back to her with Chaewon as the messenger.)

Chaewon accepted the gift without question. Enough answers for today.

Hearing a swarm of footsteps rushing to the center of the carnival, the three royals knew that this bittersweet moment had come to an end. To their knowledge, there was no planned main event due to the hastiness behind today’s carnival.

“Will I see you again?”

“Maybe we’ll come to the wedding…” the two women fought the urge to sweep their granddaughter into their arms as she winced at the condition they gave. “We’re not sure your mother is ready to face us.”

(“We’re not sure we’re ready either,” they kept to themselves.)

“If you didn’t learn by now, we’re terrible at communicating.”

More hollering outside as the dust of the hurried footsteps swirled into their tent.

“It runs in the family.”

\---

_Jinsol and Jungeun stifled their giggles as they stood outside the ballroom doors. In a game of hide-and-seek, the queens didn’t think they’d find their darling daughter so quick. Maybe their parenting skills of having Chaewon be more open-minded and extroverted were a hindrance in some way. Seeing her tiny purple shoes peeking out under the blackout curtains, the two queens wordlessly agreed to pull back the drapes at the same time._

_“Aha!”_

_“Gotcha!”_

_But the shoes were unfilled and they came face-to-face with a window view of Heejin and Yeojin jousting on Hyunjin’s and Yerim’s shoulders._

_Chaewon giggled behind her moms but shut herself up when her moms turned around without the same glee she had._

_“Chae, this isn’t how you play the game,” Jinsol kneeled._

_“The object of the game is to hide from us,” Jungeun followed suit and took both of her daughter's hands in hers. _

_“But I’m a princess, why should I hide?” Chaewon pouted._

_Not having anything to base their answer on, Jungeun and Jinsol searched each other’s eyes. Albeit a simple childhood game, hiding part of themselves was their objective as well. Their parents told them that that was the norm. Only show the parts they will like. The parts that make them upstanding role models._

_Their upbringing is why it took so long for them to come to terms with their own feelings. Of grief. Of despair. Of love._

_Maybe it was time to make a new norm._

\---

Hyunjin and Hyejoo immediately threw Yeojin and Yerim off their shoulders as they picked up the other castle residents coming closer.

(Yerim landed perfectly on her feet. Yeojin, not so much.)

Jiwoo practically body slammed a man into a balloon animal stand as the came closer. The group of four looked at each other with a nod that whoever came up with the best alibi why Chaewon was missing would speak first and the rest would follow.

Before the two groups could meet - perfectly in the middle of the fair where the clearing was empty and people’s paths converged and merged - a familiar figure stepped in between them.

“Hey, that’s the guy who gave me the bag I threw up in!”

All but the Ha family froze at the sight of him. Seeing Jinsol and Hyunjin give each other an affirmative nod and put their hand above their waistline sheath, Hyejoo and Sooyoung followed suit without question. 

With Yeojin and Haseul in one spot, their natural ability to draw a crowd put all eyes on them, patrons stopping in their paths, zeroing in on the man in the back cap separating the two groups.

“Where’s Chaewon?” Jinsol asked.

“She’ll be with us shortly,” Hyunjin said without hesitation.

Hyejoo wasn’t sure if Chaewon showing up now would help or hurt them at this point.

Clearing his throat, the man clapped his hands in delight. As organizer of this event, he knew he’d have a run-in with the guests of honor. It was their carelessness that got his one of the esteemed positions in the lands, working directly under the council. And unlike the royals or knights, he actually got a say in what he was able to do.

Humiliating the family that almost beat him to a pulp wasn’t on his agenda today but beggars can’t be choosers.

With everyone on edge they didn’t even notice Chaewon slipping back into the group.

“My, my, what a pleasant surprise...” he croaked, his yellow teeth gleaming. “Of course with honor, I should congratulate you on this momentous occasion. It’s not every day a royal gets married. I’m just surprised both parents are here to celebrate. Such a feat to leave your home for once, isn’t that right?”

Jinsol held Jungeun tighter against her, wanting her devotion to drive out the words they were both hearing.

“And the witch and siren descendant as well. I should’ve known looking at the skies,” he pointed to the overcast hanging over them.

Haseul tightened her lips as Vivi held her tight. Yeojin’s head tilted in confusion. The right time to tell Yeojin was years ago but she never got the chance to confront her parents for the truth.

“Oh you didn’t know? Neither did she,” he pointed an overgrown fingernail at the court musician. “Heard you were too busy playing knight’s lackey to really figure it out. Are you even one yet? Hah, doesn’t look it.”

Yeojin furrowed her eyebrows at her sister who looked like her whole world was falling apart. She thought those were just bedtime stories. Stepping out, she was held back by Yerim.

“Nice to see the former royal guard back on staff. Pity though, seems like all she could manage was a farmer’s daughter.”

A furious Sooyoung was held back by Jiwoo.

“Is your daughter following in your footsteps or did she also not go to school like you?”

Hyejoo felt a growl rumbling in her throat but before she could stand up for her family and herself, she felt a warm hand on her arm.

Chaewon wasn’t sure she was allowed to reach out to Hyejoo like this, given their current status, but Hyejoo didn’t know who she was messing with. Even with Hyejoo’s capabilities, this man could end her life.

“...nine, ten, eleven.” He clapped his scaly hands again. “We’re missing someone..”

Murmurs in the crowd grew and if the castle residents wanted to leave, there would be no way out. There was no way to excuse themselves without making a scene. Jinsol wasn’t sure if she wanted to hold Jungeun behind her to keep her away from him or put her in front to keep her away from the people. Jungeun made the decision herself and stood side-by-side with her.

“Oh right, that bookworm poor excuse for a chef with her head in the clouds. Good job Princess, it's good to rid oneself of the most useless staff first when starting a new life.”

No one was there to hold Hyunjin back as she lunged forward and ripped him apart limb from limb.

In the distance, the council was arriving fashionably late to check up on the county fair. By the time their carriages came to a stop, the kingdom’s best knight had put the entire castlehold on trial for harboring a wolf descendent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q (ourtuneisohigh): Can't believe we actually updated on schedule. N and I are relieved and excited as we have been discussing the ending to this lengthy fic.
> 
> This month is important for mental health awareness and suicide prevention in the U.S. so we have included some links - mostly U.S. centric - to donate or support mental health conversations and research (esp. among Black, brown, indigenous, and LGBTQ+ communities). [This list isn't conclusive.]
> 
> N (LazyNinja): We really had a great flow when it came to this chapter and I'm so thankful we managed to get it out in time! I felt that I was able to contribute more this chapter, hope you all enjoy. Also with all going on remember to take care of yourself. Eat a balanced meal now and then, drink your water, wash your face, change your bed sheets, etc. You don't have to do it all in one day, pace yourself. (But do drink at least one full glass of water daily) [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_LazyNinja_) | [CC](https://curiouscat.me/_LazyNinja_)  
Please use: #FMBkingdom
> 
> [BIPOC Mental Health Resources](https://www.naminh.org/resources-2/bipoc/) | [National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network ](https://www.nqttcn.com/directory) | [Black Mental Health](https://blackmentalhealthmatters.carrd.co/#) [Help Black Trans Folks](https://btlm.carrd.co/) | [Trans Rights' Funds](http://trans--rights.carrd.co/) | [QTPOCSupport](https://www.facebook.com/QTPOCsupport/) | [National American Indian and Alaska Native Mental Health](https://mhttcnetwork.org/centers/national-american-indian-and-alaska-native-mhttc/home) | [The Okra Project](https://www.theokraproject.com/) | [ Community Bail Funds](http://www.communityjusticeexchange.org/nbfn-directory) (U.S.)


End file.
